Freeze, Thaw, Reheat
by ShotsyGirl
Summary: Castle is backing off the sexual innuendo, letting Kate know he'll always be there. Kate is silently seeking and accepting more. A little back and forth. Chapter 52 up 03/19/12! *Reposted 3/20 due to FFnet errors.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I'm a just a fan of the show, an Andrew Marlow minion—as it relates to **_**Castle**_**.**

**This is my first fan fiction. I have the whole thing outline and know exactly where it's going (good Caskett-y places), but I'm pretty much posting as I get done writing. If the ideas aren't as fully baked as you might like, I apologize! **

**This will focus on how Beckett and Castle's relationship develops, how they interact and connect with family and friends. I'll be attempting to inject a healthy dose of humor, but I know this is where I struggle. So if you laugh, chuckle, smile—or see a spot where you would have had I done something different, do tell!**

**Hope you enjoy it!**

"Castle," she says, swinging open her door to the commotion outside. "You're here early."

She watches him. He'd obviously been trying to figure out how to juggle the box in his hands, his laptop bag over his shoulder and the count them…three?...reusable grocery bags in his hands.

"I texted you." Castle he defends, finally looking up. He realizes she's standing there in just a robe, her hair has been pulled back into a messy ponytail. He stares. Kate shift uncomfortably, fully expecting his eyes to drop from her face. But they don't.

"I just got up," she says reaching to relieve him of the bags. "I was getting ready to take a shower."

Castle snaps to, explains his text from earlier. "I have to leave earlier than I planned," he says, following her into the kitchen. Normally, he'd be watching her hips sashay, but today Kate's bare calves were calling to him. The way those muscles moved…it couldn't be called erotic, but he was certainly warmer.

"Hot date, tonight, Castle?" she teases, setting the bags on the counter. He followed suit.

"Not unless you're planning to have your wild way with me, Detective." He says, already leaning into her refrigerator.

"Fat chance, Castle." But she realizes she's checking out his ass. A bit vexed, she takes it out on him. "What, may I ask, are you doing in my refrigerator?"

"Well, I was going to make room for breakfast and some snacks I picked up," he says turning to her. "But as your shelves a damn near bare…except this science experiment" he says holding out a container of she couldn't remember what "and this ode to Alexander Fleming" he says of her leftover Chinese from early last week, "I don't think making room is going to be a problem." He turns tossing them in the trash. "You don't even have milk…or eggs."

"What's this?" He peeks into the Styrofoam container.

"Hey! That was my leftover burger! It was perfectly fine!" she huffs.

Castle makes a face and shakes his head. "Reheated burgers are no good. Soggy—besides you won't need it. I brought groceries. You can make yourself a _healthy_ lunch."

"Castle, I can buy my own groceries." She was talking to his back. He opened her freezer. Two containers of ice cream: Creamy Chocolate and some specialty Vanilla Bean Mocha. _Wonder where she got that? _

"I know that, Beckett." He turned to the box and started loading the contents into the freezer. "I've never considered you incapable or unable to buy your own groceries. I was just there. And I knew I wanted breakfast."

"Those are not groceries, Castle," she says pointing to the containers he was now stacking in her freezer.

"Quite right, Detective. Nothing's lost on you," he quips. "These, my dear Beckett, are what you call leftovers. They're frozen in single-serving size meals so you can pull out one in the morning, thaw and reheat when you get home. Or you can take them to work. That way you're not living on takeout and you get a home-cooked meal—even if it's once-removed—every once in a while."

"You made me leftovers?"

"Well, not exactly. We made dinners at home. Alexis made some, I made the others—trust me, none of Mother's so-called meals made it into this box. I packed up the leftovers—even labeled them," he pointed out, handing her a couple.

She read "Baked Chicken Ziti" and "Orange Chicken with Rice." "Um, thank you, Castle, but why not keep them for at home?"

"Well, we're able to eat together pretty regularly and we like to cook. Plus, we do have some leftovers at home, but it's not like there's enough for us to all share a meal, so we just keep them for an occasional lunch or meal when everyone else is out. Every now and then, if the freezer starts overflowing with leftovers, we each pull out what we want and have a leftovers night."

Kate's a little wistful as she listens and watches as his face soften, just talking about family moments. _I miss "we" moments._ "It sounds great, Castle. It's very sweet of you." She's been saying that a lot lately. Signed _Temptation Lane_ cast photo. His "I don't like you spending time with other writers" confession. "Thank you and please thank Alexis for me."

Castle flashes her a big smile. "No problem…now, you shower. I'll make breakfast. Then we'll get started."

"Okay. What are we having?" she asks over her shoulder. She pauses at the door to her room.

"Frittata, if you have a good cast iron pan?" he half says, half asks, glancing at her. Seeing her face, "Omelets it is then!" he announces. "Shower, woman!"

_When did I start taking orders from him? Where was her fight?_

Chapters 2 through 5 are up with Chapter 1. Since there's no Castle for the next couple of weeks, I expect to move right along.


	2. Chapter 2

When Kate returned from the shower, Castle had already set up his laptop and was pouring coffee to go along with the glass of orange juice and plated omelet—complete with fresh strawberries that he had cut lengthwise from the stem artistically splayed on the plate so that they looked as much like a garnish as they did part of the meal.

"Hey," Castle says, taking in her jeans and her black western-style plaid top. The top and bottom pearl snaps were left undone, revealing a white tank with lace edging. It was soft and comfortable and one of Kate's favorites. She thought Castle might like it, too. Kate had blown her hair until it was mostly dry, brushed it, but left it down. Thinking Castle would like that, too. Not that she was dressing for him—but she could admit to herself that she liked when he noticed her. And notice he did, but he didn't want to stare. He was definitely trying not to creep her out in her own home. He averted his eyes. "I, uh, pulled up our "To-Do" list. Alexis helped me organize it. I thought we could eat and work at the same time."

"Sounds good. I just—" Kate was cut off by Castle's phone. She slid onto the stool beside Castle's and picked up her fork, not intending to let the omelet get cold. She adjusted so she could see his laptop screen, too.

"Yes, Mother?" Castle answered. "I know, Mother. You reminded me last night." Pause. "No, I don't mind. I just wish you had given me more notice. Yes, I will be there. Alexis is riding with you, right?" "Okay, I'll see you at noon."

"Everything okay, Castle?" Kate asks.

"Everything's fine. Mother just committed us to, uh…more than we had planned."

"Are you going to tell me about it?" Kate asks, confused as to what he's hiding and why he looks a bit embarrassed.

"No." His response is so flat, Kate can't help wanting to know more, but instead, he shifts to the matter at hand. "So, Beckett, do you want to do the hard stuff first or the easy, fun stuff?"

Kate swallows, "Better start with the hard stuff." She smiles and reaches for her coffee. "This is delicious, by the way. I can't remember when I've had such a good breakfast."

"I'd be happy to make you breakfast anytime, Detective Beckett." She thinks back. His phrase echoes another she's heard from, but it's genuine, with no hint of sexual innuendo.

"Okay. So," he says as reaches into his laptop bag. "Ms. Marshall from the Financial Services department at NYU sent me over this information. It seems there are a number of details regarding the scholarship that we have to work out. For example, is it for under grads or grad students or both? What is the award amount? Is it renewable, or one-time?" He hands her the stack of paper.

"So, let's just go down the list. I have no idea what the award amount will be, but I think renewable would be nice so they'd have something to depend on and work toward each year."

"I agree. I was thinking an award of $25,000, given to two eligible students each year."

"Fifty-thousand, Castle? That's a lot. Do you really think we'll raise enough to carry that forward?"

"Well, I know what's there now and I know it would cover the first few years. Plus, we'll raise a significant amount through the Justice Initiative Jamboree." Kate was a little shocked because she didn't realize Rick had put that much forth. But after $100,000 just for a chance to catch her mother's killer she couldn't be too surprised.

She smiles as he spoke. It had taken them hours to come up with a suitable name for the event they had planned. After throwing out anything "fundraiser" and Kate's insistence that the "Beckett Ball" was not going to happen, it was Alexis who finally came up with the Johanna Beckett Justice Initiative Jamboree. Kate like it because it wasn't a dead giveaway that the goal was to sucker people into donating money and Castle liked it because it sounded more fun and less stuffy than anything "Ball" or "Gala"-related that he was coming up with.

"Plus," Rick added, "The funds will be in a high-yield account, so I think we have it covered." He glanced back down to the papers. "So, what about this one? Grads or under grads?"

"Shouldn't matter," Beckett said. "I know it would have been easier on my parents if she'd had a scholarship to help get through law school."

"Your parents were together through her years in law school?"

"They were together _always_, Rick." His heart quickened. His name and always together in a sentence spilled from her gorgeous, smiling lips. "They were next door neighbors, best friends, high school sweethearts. They married after they finished college. And my dad worked to help my mom get through law school. That was her dream."

Kate leaned toward him, eyes a little dark, "Did you know…after Mom died, Dad was still stuck paying on her student loans? Mom was never going to make as much as she could have being that she took on so many social issues and pro-bono cases, but it was more than nothing and more than Dad made in a year. But, when she was gone, the bills still came."

"I'll bet that's why you insisted on paying your own way through school." Kate's eyes widened. "How did you—"

"When you apartment blew up, and this," he said nodding his head around her apartment, "was all you could find, you mentioned that you were going to have to stop doubling down on your student loan payments."

Something somewhere between "ah" and "hmm' and 'umph" escaped her throat. _Does he remember everything I say?_ "So, back to work. Any student level should be eligible, and recipients should be able to renew the award so long as they maintain, a what…3.0, 2.5 GPA? What do you think, Castle?

"Based on what I know about you and your mom, I'd say she wouldn't have a problem with setting a high standard. 3.0?

"Oh, she'd insist." Kate chuckled.

"So, what about this one? Should it be open to all income levels or students with limited incomes?"

Rick watched as Kate tilted her head to the side. He was familiar with the action when she was standing in front of the murder board trying to make sense of all that was before her. After a few moments, she says, "You know, if someone has worked hard to maintain good grades and wants to pursue justice issues, whether it's law or rehabilitation or whatever, I don't think it should matter. You know…think about Alexis. She's smart, but she also puts forth more effort than most kids. She shouldn't be denied recognition of those efforts and a sense of accomplishment just because you make millions."

"Not everyone thinks like you do, Detective. Trust me, there have been many times I've wondered if her upbringing would result in an identity crisis."

"Nonsense, Castle." She smacked his arm. "She's fantastic. You've done a great job and have every reason to be proud."

"Yeah, I am proud. But lucky, too. I've seen kids in similar situations turn into spoiled rotten brats—Member those preppy kids that recorded their fatal game of Russian roulette? Could have been like that."

"Nope. Not buying it."

"Coulda happened."

"Nope." He started to speak again, but she Shh'd him with her "close the trap" fingers, her signature glare. "Moving on!" she demanded.

**Smile a little?**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Whole she-bang

They finalize the rest of the scholarship criteria before Castle sets it aside, saying he'll type it up and send it to Ms. Marshall later.

"Mind if we move this party to the couch?" Castle asks. "My bum's sore."

"Sure. Let me just take care of our plates and I'll meet you out there."

"Um, Beckett?" Castle asks. Kate registers his hesitation and wonders what it's about. She looks up at him and raises a questioning eyebrow. She leans her head forward and cocks her ear toward him in a classic, "Yeah?"

"May I use your bathroom?"

"What?"

"May I—"

"I know what you said, but you've been here how many times? Do you really think you have to ask to use my bathroom?" She's shaking her head. She couldn't figure him out. Sometimes he was so incredibly cocky and other times he seemed unsure of himself. She knew he'd created boundaries between them since the freezer and the bomb and he was trying hard to not overstep and to give her space. He'd laid off the constant innuendo, which she missed and found herself trying to draw out of him—however subtly. She'd left the door wide open on several occassions only to be met with silence or sincerity. Still, how could those boundaries possibly extend to using her bathroom? _And why am I so irritated that he would ask?_

"Oh-kay," Castle said, drawing it out. He'd obviously pissed her off, but wasn't quite sure how. But, he really had to go, so he started heading for her bedroom door.

Alarmed, Kate asks, "Where are you going?

"Bathroom?"

"I _have_ another bathroom," Kate says, pointing down the hall by the door he'd come in through. "Half-bath, but it'll do, unless you need a shower, too?"

"Nah," Castle says, reversing direction. "Toilet and sink will do." He paused in front of her. "Sorry. I thought those were closets." _Well, at least that explains why he asked to use my bathroom._

"One is, the other isn't." She watched his broad shoulders as he walked down the hall, her eyes trailing to where his shirt met his jeans and was tucked behind that thick, brown leather belt. As she was silently praising his fashion sense, she noticed him glance between the two doors he had reached. "On the right," she called.

Kate moved Rick's laptop to the coffee table in front of her sofa and went to use her own bathroom. When she came back, Rick was emptying the remaining contents of the box onto her coffee table. She picked up her iPod and moved to the shelf. After placing it on the dock, she debated between playlists, opting for some soft, mellow background music and went to join Castle.

"Now for the fun stuff!" Castle exclaimed. He grasped her hand and pulled her to the couch. She landed closer to him than she needed to be, but while adjusting to a more comfortable position, didn't move away.

Kate looked to her right. Her eyes moved up his jawline to his thick hair. She instantly warmed at the memory of her hands in his hair, the kisses they'd shared. _I can't be doing this…_

"And what is the fun stuff, Castle?"

"Oh, this is what every little girl dreams of…the guest list, the centerpieces, the invitations, the color scheme, the band—"

"Sounds like more like we're planning a wedding," Kate says. When Castle grins at her, she immediately realizes her mistake. _What was I thinking? Me, Rick, wedding?_ _Way to make him run, girl! _That last one sounded just like Lanie.

A year ago, Castle would have teased her mercilessly or shuddered and commented on marriage being a fast track to alimony. Today, he just smiles and says, "It'll be good practice for when you do. Who knows? Might be sooner than you think."

Kate tilted her head back trying to imagine herself planning a wedding. Nothing. But for a fleeting moment, she imagined walking down the aisle looking up to meet her groom's eyes. She was startled to realize they were Castle blue. Rick watched her smile. He could only assume she was picturing happily-ever-after with Dr. Motorcycle Boy. Not that he called the good doctor that when talking to Beckett. Not anymore.

Kate leaned forward to examine the stuff he's put on the table. "So, this is what planning a wedding is like, huh?"

"I wouldn't know." Kate gave him a questioning glance. "Meredith and I eloped. I had to convince her to keep the baby and had to work only slightly harder to convince her to marry me so that the baby wouldn't grow up with the baneful "bastard" label." His admission, coupled with the set of his jawline and the knowledge that he occasionally indulged in deep fried twinkie thoroughly confused her. He was visibly struggling with the memories, but when he turned to her, his eyes were unreadable.

"When Gina and I were married, she and my then publicist planned the whole thing. I didn't even get to pick my tux. Five hundred people at the wedding and I knew only a handful. I'd already been married, she never had, so I thought she should get to plan the wedding of her dreams. They took it as an opportunity to capitalize on the "author marries publisher" storyline. I wanted to be more involved, I guess I should have tried harder." He shrugged, and smiled. "But, the one bright spot—Alexis was an adorable flower girl."

Kate didn't know what to say. She settled on ignoring most of his admission. "You'll have to show me pictures sometime, Castle." She reached for the album on the coffee table. She leafs through it and realizes it's full of table settings. Different color schemes, different centerpieces, all elegant. "Amanda sent those over. Thought it might give us ideas. So, you just need to pick what you like."

She thought back to when she met Amanda, Rick's event planner. She was a tall, beautiful, glossy woman. Blonde, of course. Paula was with them. The three shared a familiarity and Kate remembered wishing she hadn't agreed to come so she wouldn't have to watch them together. Paula and Amanda were clearly close friends and the three of them had worked together for years. Paula coordinating the press, guest lists, planning book signings and talk show appearances. Amanda planned the events themselves – picked the locations, caterers—managed all the details.

But there was something in the way Castle and Amanda interacted with one another that made Kate wonder if they hadn't had a more intimate relationship. They weren't inappropriate in any way, and Kate learned that she recently married and was already expecting her first child. She'd shown Rick pictures of the sonogram. Rick smiled a huge smile and pulled her into an embrace.

When they met, he stressed to Paula that this fundraising event was to be strictly about Johanna Beckett. His name was not to be used in promotion of the event, but he when pressed, he agreed that she could mention his name when speaking to his "friends" and potential donors. However, there was no relenting when Paula wanted to mention Nikki Heat. He'd said, in no uncertain terms: "This is about Kate and her mother. Reference to Nikki Heat, especially to Kate as Nikki Heat, is off limits." Kate had been grateful. She knew it was going to be hard enough facing the night, having to do it under the scrutiny that accompanies Rick's life and her role in it…_whatever that is_—or, she amended, her role in his books, would have made it that much more difficult.

She turned to Rick, who was looking at photo galleries of some of the venues Amanda had suggested. "I know you joke, but, honestly, do you think you'll ever get married again, Castle?"

"I hope to, Kate. I mean, I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. And I'm certainly not going to be a Hugh Heffner dating well into my 90s. I just hate that it's 'again.'" He paused, looking out her window. "I never imagined I'd be forty and single and living with my Mother and my 17 year old daughter. Maybe I didn't realize it when I was younger, but I definitely wanted happily ever after. Maybe not the picket fence…but everything else. You know, the two-point-three kids, and someone to share it all with."

"How about you? You want kids and the whole she-bang?"

"Yeah, I think so. Someday." She fiddled with her fingers. "I used to think it would be fair with the risks I take on the job—and I know I'm not willing to give that up—"

"New York thanks you."

Kate smiled and continued. "But, I miss having a family and I'm sure my dad wants grandbabies to spoil." Kate looked around. "How is it we tackled the hard stuff and still haven't made a decision about the fun stuff?"

"We'll if you'd stop jawin.'"

Kate slugged him. Hard.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Fun stuff

Kate turned her attention to the album in her lap. When she'd flipped through all the pages, Kate's thoughts returned to the man beside her. She looked up at Rick and saw him watching her. He was obviously watching to see what she might like. "I don't know, Castle. They're all so beautiful. I don't really know where to start."

"I guess…start with something simple." Just then, Alexis' ringtone sounded.

"Hello, _Sweet Child of Mine_." Castle sang into his phone. Kate quietly chuckled. He was so effortless with Alexis. She continued looking through the stuff on the coffee table and listened as he spoke to Alexis. "Did Gram make you call me?" Pause. "Not to worry, Wart. I'll be there." Pause. "No, I didn't ask her." Pause. Kate caught his eye, but he looked away. "Trust me. She's got better things to do." Pause. "Okay. I'll see you in a couple hours. Bye, Sweetie."

"Something you wanna ask me, Castle?" She notches an eyebrow at him, grinning. Castle shifts uncomfortably. She leans in closer, until her face is just inches from his, never taking her eyes off his. "You're sure, Castle?" she asks.

She watches his blue eyes cloud to a deeper grey. Rick fights the urge to drop his eyes to her lips. _She's going to kill me._ He turns his head, bowing out of the staring contest, hoping his eyes haven't given too much away. "Just, uh, what kind of flowers did your mom like?"

Kate slowly leaned back on her couch. His question was enough to ruin her mood, and for a moment she regretted agreeing that this event was personal and that she wanted to be involved in the planning. But it was true, and on some level, she'd known Rick would be here, planning with her.

She closed her eyes and willed herself not to tear up. She asked herself this question every time she visited her mother's grave. She didn't know, so she'd take a different arrangement every time. The only flowers she could associate with her mother were the blood-red roses draped over her mother's casket. She hated red roses. Her voice cracked a little when she whispered, "I don't know, Rick. Just not red roses." He seemed to understand. He covered her hand with his.

"Well, did she have a favorite color?"

"She wore blue a lot. Our kitchen is blue. Our couch was blue. But she also like green."

'So how about this? We don't decide on a particular flower, but we ask for an arrangement in blues, greens, and purples. Do you mind if I request forget-me-nots as part of the arrangement? They're blue, and I like the symbolism."

"No. I like that idea. But why purple?"

"Because you like purple. So do I." Kate nodded. She'd never told him, but he knew a lot about her that she'd never had to say.

"Oh, I almost forgot! My Aunt Nadine finally sent me the pics she promised and the last of my family's addresses. But, they're photocopies from her address book, so I have to type them up still." She didn't tell him how her aunt had been so excited, assuming that a wedding was in the works.

Kate tried to explain that a man she works with _very closely_, who just happens to be the famous Richard Castle, no less, is sponsoring a scholarship in honor of her mother. After she struggled through that explanation, her aunt asked, "Why?" And while Kate understood on some level, she didn't fully grasp Castle's gesture and certainly couldn't wrap enough words around it to make it coherent.

"You can bring the photos over later and we'll finish digitizing them. Do you think your Aunt would want digital copies, too? Alexis already has an Excel sheet going for the guest list. Better to have her add them than to have to mess with typing them up in the wrong format."

"You don't think she'll mind?"

"Nah. She'll be all over this. She wants to help." He smiled at her and reached for the invitations. "I have proof. They've already provided their opinions on these invitations. After you decide which one you like, I'll tell you what they picked."

Kate took the samples from him and began pulling them from the envelopes. She examined each one and immediately rejected the one that looked like a Playbill and the one that looked like fake handwriting. In the background, Castle was explaining that they could select any color ink and envelop lining, and of course, they'd change the wording. _How's he know all these details?_ Having examined the fonts, she looked at the designs. One had a raised checkerboard border, three rows thick. She didn't mind it, but it didn't really like it, either.

Of the three left in her hand, one had a raised scroll at the top and bottom, one had a foil border that she knew would match the envelop and one had a colorful, vine-like pattern in the top right and bottom left corners, wrapping around the text like L-shaped bookends. It reminded her of reaching out, and it was fun and sophisticated, but not overly formal. She held her choice up to Castle.

He turned to the table, to pick up one of the ones she'd discarded. "The Matinee invitation," he says, flipping the playbill one toward her, "was Mother's choice."

"Of course." Kate said, seriously, wrinkling her nose.

"Amanda's suggestion," he said pointing to the invitation with the formal scroll.

"Too wedding-ish." Kate said.

"But, Alexis and I picked the same as you. The life-affirming vine. Classy, but not stuffy. If we want those old fogies to open their pocket books, we need to promise a good time, remind them of their youth and…have fun!"

"Old fogies, Castle?"

"They're the ones with the money."

"So you're an old fogy?"

"No. I'm an exception. Thought you knew that by now?" He hmphed at her. "Decidedly not old, definitely not a fogy."

"But these grey hairs tell a different story." She laughed, tugging on the hair at his temple.

He playfully swatted her hand away. "I think you need to get your eyes checked, Detective Beckett. Maybe I'll make that recommendation the Captain."

"Try it, Castle. And I'll tell the Captain you have a hard time keeping up in the field. I'll suggest you attend the NYPD Fitness Academy until you meet field requirements." Kate turned toward her door, when she heard someone knocking.

"Hey, I keep up." Castle called out with mock indignation.

"If doubled-over, out of breath counts." Kate laughed, pulling open the door.

"Josh." The corners of her smile dropped just a bit as she looked up at him.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 – Unexpected company

"Having a good time, Kate?" She wondered how long he'd been outside her door.

"Yes, actually, we are." Kate was annoyed at his tone. She was not surprised that she was having a good time, but she knew that Josh would be surprised. As far as Josh knew, Castle was her annoying shadow who wrote books based on her. More recently, she'd made known that she was indebted to Castle for saving her life. And for this scholarship he insisted on to honor her mother.

Kate had certainly been touched and flattered by Castle's gesture, but it also forced her to explain to Josh why there would even be a Justice Initiative Scholarship in her honor. She'd only told Josh that her mother had passed away, not that she was murdered. Or that she was consumed with a need to bring her mother's killers to justice.

Josh hadn't been happy that she hadn't been forthright. He'd been even less happy that Castle knew all about her mother's murder and that he'd helped her bring her mother's killer to justice. Kate told him what she had to, but left out so many details that were important to her. How Castle had gone behind her back to discover her mother's murderer was a killer-for-hire. How he'd held her when she'd been forced to kill Coonan before learning who hired him. How she'd gone to him when Raglan called her wanting to meet. How he'd kissed her…how she'd kissed him…when they went to rescue Ryan and Esposito. No there were some things Josh didn't need to know.

Josh walked into the room and set his helmet on the bar. "What's he doing here, Kate?" He asked, shaking his head at Rick.

"We are just wrapping up some details for the scholarship and fundraiser." Kate answers.

Turning toward Castle, Josh says, "I thought you hired an event planner?"

"I did, but some of the details required a more personal touch."

"I would have helped you, Kate." Josh said, looking dejected and a bit hurt.

"I don't doubt that, Josh," she says. She steps closer to him and asks more quietly, "What are you doing here? I thought we had plans for later?" She turns to look at Castle, who's packing up his laptop, and the notes they've taken. "You don't have to leave, Castle."

"I just realized the time, Beckett. I'll be late if I don't get a move on."

Josh seizes the opportunity to draw her attention back to him. "That works out great. It'll give us a chance to spend some time together before I head back to the hospital. I'm pulling a double tonight." He'd reached for her hand, but she turned away to help Castle gather his things.

He picked up the envelope of photos. "Do you want me to take these now or bring them later with the others?"

"May as well get started. I'll raid my dad's collection and bring the rest over later."

"Okay, I leave the rest of this here. That way, if you two get a chance, you can decide on some of this other stuff." He was giving her the opportunity to include Josh.

He glanced at his watch and moved to grab his jacket and the reusable shopping bags. Josh had moved to the other side of the bar, glaring at the two sets of dishes in the sink. Breakfast. Food. Catering.

He turned back toward Kate. "I almost forgot. Madison agreed to do the catering."

Kate smiled, "That's perfect! She actually knew my mom! And Madison was one of my only friends that my mom actually liked!" She walked over to the bar to stand beside Castle. Her smile widened. "My mom used to make a pumpkin quiche every fall that Madison loved. I'm going to ask her if she'll put those on the menu."

"He knows your friend, Madison?" Josh sighed, disbelievingly.

"They, uh, went on a date." Kate smirked.

"It was a _disaster_," Castle stressed. They were trying to lighten Josh's mood. But he didn't appreciate the inside joke, or realizing just how much shared history the two had.

Silence. Castle felt he should say something to Josh, to reassure him that his only interest was in Kate's happiness, and he didn't want Kate to back away from the friendship they'd established for Josh's sake. So, he glanced at his watch again, and as he turned to the door, he glanced back at Josh to find him watching him, his body leaning into his arms which were braced on the counter. He hesitated, but finally said, "You know we're just friends, right?" He hoped Kate wouldn't kill him.

Josh made a noise that might have been "yeah," but otherwise didn't react.

Castle gave Kate an apologetic shrug and headed for the door. She followed behind, trying to mask the pain and confusion she felt at Castle's attempt to pacify Josh. She opened the door for him. As he brushed past her, she said quietly, trying to make it sound light and jestful, "Just friends, Castle? I thought we were partners."

"That, too," he promised. "_Always._"

"I really gotta go before the red-headed women in my life give me a verbal tongue lashing."

Kate turned back to her apartment and the man inside. She really wasn't up for another argument. They didn't argue often, but when they did it was typically about him not understanding why she didn't put an end to Castle following her around. Most of the time, they were either together and perfectly comfortable or playing phone tag trying to negotiate a time when they were both available. Scratch that. The vast majority of the time, they spent apart…maybe crossing each other's minds.

She stormed back into her living room. "What the hell, Josh? Castle was helping me. He is my friend and my partner. And there is no reason for you to treat him like that—ever." Kate was steamed. _Why hadn't she been this mad at Castle after the way he'd treated Alex Conrad? She'd even gone so far as to call him sweet and encourage his unrequited devotion. But Castle hadn't hurt anyone she cared about—and Conrad earned the ribbing he got._

"Is that all he is, Kate?"

Kate's shoulders sagged. She took in a deep breath. She wasn't confident she could say the right things. She couldn't make sense of her private thoughts, much less voice them to someone else. Certainly not Josh. With all that was playing through her mind, Kate was glad that Josh couldn't read her like Castle could. She knew Josh couldn't read anything she didn't want him to. _And she wanted Josh, right? A chance? _In that moment, she plastered desire in her eyes.

She wasn't done being angry, but barring chin ups or a trip to the gym, she wasn't above using him to get her aggressions out.

She stepped toward him, unsnapping her shirt with each step. When she was close enough to kiss him, she trailed her finger from his collar along the buttons on his shirt, until her finger rested on his belt. "I told you before," she said, leaning up to kiss his jaw with each of her next words: I. Am. A. One. Man. Woman." That much was true. _But what man did she belong to?_


	6. Chapter 6

**In this chapter, not much happens between Kate and Castle, but we do see what secret he'd been keeping from her. We also see there's a closeness between Kate and Alexis.**

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><p>Kate was regretting her decision to drop Josh off at the hospital. He wanted to talk, and his hands kept finding their way to rest on her thigh. Or he's reach to rub her shoulder. She'd been in bed with the man less than an hour ago and now she was fighting the urge to shrug his hand from her shoulder. Instead, she reached to turn the radio up. The worst part was…now his bike and his helmet were at her place and she had no doubt he'd head there when his shifts were up.<p>

It wasn't that she didn't want him around, but she could really use some time to herself before heading back to work. _At least I'll have tonight_, she thought.

Kate dropped Josh off near the side entrance, giving his hand a squeeze and allowing him to press a kiss into her cheek. As soon as he stepped up the curb, she pulled her car toward the exit. She hated the one-way navigation along this street, but as she sat waiting to pull out into traffic, a man with a familiar gate, broad shoulders, thick hair and—she was sure—the same jeans she admired earlier suddenly reflected in her rear view mirror.

The red-headed women flanking his sides only confirmed her suspicions. Immediately, Kate wondered if something was wrong. Someone honked behind her. Seeing traffic had cleared, Kate pulled onto the one-way. She navigated to the nearest turnaround to head back in the direction she'd come. When she reached the hospital parking lot, she pulled into the first open space she saw.

Briefly, Kate wondered if she shouldn't leave it alone. It _was_ a hospital. Maybe they were dealing with a personal, family matter. And Castle had been odd and elusive about his afternoon plans all morning. But he didn't seem stressed or worried. Kate's spidey senses were telling her this had to do with what he didn't want to tell her. But—she remembered—Alexis wanted her to know. She was a detective; she had an insatiable need to know. And she did _not_, in fact, have better things to do, as Castle had earlier surmised.

Kate pulled out her phone.

**Did I just see U heading into the hospital? Everything OK? **

_Y_

_Dad seriously didn't tell U?_

**?**

_Oh, U R gonna LUV this!_

_Where R U?_

**5th Ave entrance**

_Take elevator to level 3C. I'll meet you there ;-}_

Kate was too curious. She pulled her lip gloss from the cup holder and checked her appearance in the rear view mirror. After tucking her purse under her seat, she stood and headed for the elevators. She couldn't imagine what Castle had gotten himself into now. Kate shared the elevator up with an elderly woman. When she stepped off on the third floor, she looked around for Alexis. Not seeing her, she walked off to the window and admired the gardens down below.

"Kate!" she heard Alexis call from behind her.

"Hey!" Kate spun around. "What's going on?" And then, before Alexis had a chance to answer, "And _why_ are you wearing _that_?"

Alexis' hair was pulled back at the nape of the neck with a large white fabric bow. She wore a ratty looking light blue dress that looked like a young child may have worn in the early 1800s. Over this, she wore a half apron, and on her feet were hospital slipper socks.

"Come," Alexis said, hooking her arm through Kate's. "I'll explain. But Gram will kill me if I'm not back in two minutes." Alexis was walking quickly, but Kate kept pace as Alexis guided her through the hospital corridors, until they came to rest in front of two heavy, wooden doors. Above them, Kate read _Rogers Play Atrium_. Kate looked at Alexis, waiting for an explanation, wondering where Castle was.

"We're getting ready to do a play for the little kids. _Hansel and Gretel_. We do one every year. Last year we did _Little Red Riding Hood_, year before that it was _Sleeping Beauty_. Gram committed us to it years ago – and it's fun. The kids really enjoy it."

"Wow—Lex. That's too funny. I'm so relieved. I was worried something was wrong."

"I thought you'd get a kick out of seeing this side of Dad. He really gets into it."

"Hmm, yeah—"

"Oh, Kate. I'm sorry. I've gotta go in. But stay here. This will be so much more fun if Dad doesn't know you're here!" Alexis gave Kate a quick hug. "Five minutes, okay?"

Alexis slipped through the double doors before Kate had a chance to respond. _Uh, Break a leg?_ Kate wasn't sure she'd ever seen Alexis in such a whirlwind. She chalked it up to nervous excitement and looked around. The room was at the end of a hallway that looked like mostly administrative offices.

Kate turned back to the Rogers Play Atrium. _Rogers?_ She turned to read the plaque on the wall.

**Rogers Play Atrium  
><strong>Made Possible with Generous Support from  
>Martha A. Rogers<br>and R. Alexander Rogers

Kate knew Rick was a generous man, but she didn't always think of him as humble. She had little reason not to. As far as she knew, no one outside of those in the room knew that he'd put up money…a significant amount of money…to help find her mother's killer. It hadn't worked out the way they planned, but, still, it had worked. Castle had also been adamant that his name was not to be publically associated with the scholarship in her mother's honor. At the time, Kate thought that had to do with her and her discomfort being in the limelight as Nikki Heat.

But seeing this…Kate knew R. Alexander Rogers was Richard Edgar Castle, one and the same. In a way, it warmed her heart to know that Castle's generosity extended beyond his desire to somehow compensate his muse. Still, it seemed out of character. Castle _loved _attention.

Hearing the chatter and pitter-patter of children, Kate looked up to see about a dozen children heading her way. Two were in wheelchairs, a couple were being carried by parents who pushed IV pumps, three had telemetry packs attached to their tiny waists. She saw some crutches and a couple of casts, but, overall, she was impressed by their lightness. They were smiling—obviously excited for something new. She stepped to the side and let the children pass.

A moment later, Kate realized she was, again, alone in the hall. So she pulled the door open and stepped inside. She glanced around the Play Atrium. The whole room was a kid's play paradise. To the front, there was a small stage, complete with theatre style curtains. She could see where a puppet show set had been pushed off to the side, and three small rows of padded chairs sat facing the stage.

Kate looked to her right and noticed a padded red bi-plane that seemed to be quite popular with the boys. One child was leaping through the wings while another was spinning the propeller just as fast as he could. Another little boy sat in the second seat back, reading a book. Beyond the plane, there were craft tables, oversized bean bags, and Legos galore. Shelves with books and puzzles and board games were tucked into various spots around the room.

Kate looked to her left. Appearing to be an extension of the wall, there was a padded castle. _Of, course,_ she thought smiling to herself. The castle appeared to have three levels that the kids could crawl through. The entrance had a mock iron gate that the kids could raise or lower. Kate saw small arms sticking out of castle windows, kids peeking out of the tower, and from the top, kids could slide down, landing not too far from where she currently stood.

Kate moved to the chairs arranged in the center of the room and sat just into the back row. Music began to filter into the room. On cue, the volunteer's marshaled the kids to the chairs. Kate looked up to see Alexis peeking out. The girl found her, and satisfied that she was there, grinned. A few minutes later, the music crescendoed, and then it was quiet. The curtains rose to reveal what looked like a very real, oversized gingerbread house.

Kate watched as Hansel and Gretel entered the stage from the side, dropping bread crumbs as they went. Alexis, looked just as she had before, but now her cheeks had a rosy hue and her feet bore wooden Swedish clogs. Rick, on the other hand, was dressed as she'd never seen a man dressed. And she lived in New York!

Rick wore a billowing, creamy white shirt. This was tucked into light brown bottoms that looked akin to an old lady's bloomers. They tied just above his knee to truly emphasize the "bloomer" effect. His shirt (or pants?) was held in place with red suspenders, with some sort of Nordic or Celtic looking design along the straps. But what really had Kate biting her lip to prevent her laughter from escaping was the tights! Nice, creamy white tights. She would never let him live this down!

Kate was so busy taking in Rick's appearance that she wasn't sure what was happening in the play, until Rick yelled, "Look, Gretel! A Cake House! And it's covered in _CANDY_!"

She watched as Hansel sprinted and Gretel clacked her way toward the house. While Alexis pretended to pick bits of candy off the structure, Rick dove onto the roof head first and came up with a face full of frosting. He earned a gusty laugh from everyone in the room, Kate included. She watched as Rick's eyes narrowed. Somehow, through all the noise, he'd recognized her laugh. His eyes locked on hers. He seemed to freeze and she couldn't look away. Rick didn't snap to until Alexis shot an elbow into his ribs.

Kate kept watching. She was shocked when Martha first made her appearance. She was actually made up to look quite frightening for a children's play, but given the setting and Hansel's continued mocking of her, the children and Kate herself delighted in the make-believe world the three actors were creating. She laughed particularly hard at the trickery Castle employed with his bony finger and the relish with which he shoved Martha into the oven. If she hadn't suspected it through the witch-razzing Martha endured, she'd have recognized this as a Castle adaptation through the sly references to the Brothers Grimm and Humperdink.

When the play was over and the curtains settled back into their starting places, Kate marveled at how much she'd enjoyed the last hour. She also conjured up an image of Castle in his tights and laughed out loud. She couldn't wait to see him again.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading (and reviewing). You're invited to join Beckett, Castle, Martha and Alexis for dinner…to be served up next chapter.<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry, Dinner is still in the works, but there was some stuff to take care of first. Also, I changed Rogers to Rodgers, as it should be. **

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><p>Chapter 7 – Between Shows<p>

Kate looked up expecting to see Rick, instead Martha was making her way toward Kate. She pulled her into a loose embrace. "Kate, dear, so lovely to see you." Over her shoulder, Kate watches Rick walk onto the stage with a pastry bag in hand. Castle

Turning back to the stage, but leaving one arm resting on Kate's back, Martha scolds her son. "Richard, you didn't tell me you'd invited Kate." Rick raised a questioning eyebrow at Kate, but before she could begin to answer, Alexis stepped out. "I invited her, Gram." She grabbed her father's arm, and looked up at him innocently, "You don't mind do you, Daddy?"

"Of course not, Sweetheart." He gave her a 'yeah, right' smile that let them all know he knew wasn't getting the full story, but he was willing to buy into the charade. _Smart girl_, Kate thought.

Martha didn't care what the circumstances were that brought Kate there. She was just happy to see her and happy to have an audience. "So what do you think, Darling?" Martha asked, waving her hand toward the stage. "Are we ready for the bright lights of Broadway?"

Kate shifted to look at Martha, wondering momentarily if that was the plan. "You were marvelous, Martha." She answered with sincerity. Martha ducked her head and blushed slightly with what Kate was sure was a well-practiced, yet unpretentious gracefulness.

"You really liked it?" Alexis asked.

"I loved it."

"Good," Rick said. "You can help us set up for the next show." Truth was, now that Kate was here, he didn't want her to leave. "Come on, Detective…You can help me re-roof." Castle grinned and shook the pastry bag in front of him.

"Okay, Castle. I'll help." Kate stepped on stage and moved to the gingerbread house. When Rick was beside her again, he proffered a spatula and a plastic grocery bag. "So what'll it be, Beckett. Scrape? Or decorate?"

"How 'bout I just hold the bag, Castle?"

"Afraid you'll get your hands dirty, Detective?"

"Hardly, Castle. Just, hurry up, would you?"

Rick turned to the frosting covered roof in front of him and began to carefully scrape out the section his face had landed in earlier. Kate watched him work, again amazed by his focus. He was such an anomaly. All energy and ADD in one moment—she remembered describing him as a nine year old on a sugar rush—and then concentrated on a specific outcome. Rick cared about the details. Kate's mind returned to where she was standing, on a stage in the Rodgers Play Atrium. _Not just the details, Rick cares about people._

"Castle?" Kate wanted his attention. He looked to her, and when she was sure he wouldn't look away, "Why didn't you want me to know?"

Rick cocked his head and pulled a shoulder up near his ear. He looked a little sheepish. "I guess I didn't want you to think I was, uh, flaunting it."

Kate scrunched her eyebrows together and shook her head, confused.

"You know. Flashing my celebrity. Showing off my millions. Bragging about sponsoring a hospital wing."

"But that's ridiculous, Rick. There's not a single reporter here. No cameras. No paparazzi. No adoring fans—"

"Besides you." He was trying to distract her, but she only gave him her squinty stare and continued.

"I just—it doesn't make sense, Castle."

"The point is _you_ would know. I mean, Mother and I did this years ago, as anonymously as possible, before that bastard scammed her—but…" He turned back to roof. _Some wordsmith I am. Why can't I explain this to her? _He didn't want Kate to think he was _trying_ to impress her. Rick positioned the pastry bag to start the final row of scalloping. "This was…it wasn't something I thought you'd want to know about me." That wasn't entirely true. Really, he meant he didn't think Kate was ready to know this now. He knew she'd like this side of him. This very private, very personal, very _real _side of him. But he didn't want her to think that he was trying to further endear himself to her.

Kate took a step closer to him, and hesitated a moment before resting her hand aside his jaw. "Richard Alexander Edgar Rodgers Castle, it there's one thing I've learned about you—no matter what name you use—it's that you have a big heart. I hope you know you never have to hide that from me."

_Wish I didn't have to._ With his free hand, Rick pulled Kate's hand from his face. He wanted to brush his lips over her fingers, but instead gave her hand a squeeze and nodded toward the gingerbread house. Kate wondered at the emotion that flashed across his face. Behind them, they heard Alexis in her wooden shoes walking across the stage. "All done," he announced. Then, he swiped his across the tip of the pastry bag, removing the excess.

"Care to lick my finger, Detective?" he asked, cocking his eyebrows at the suggesting. Kate grunted a mirthless "no" belied by the slight upturn of her lips and the flicker of amusement in her eyes.

Rick turned to Alexis with a questioning look. "Eww, Dad! Gross. No!" Rick tipped the pastry bag back and sucked frosting from the tip. "Mow fo me" he said, his mouth half full. He walked off stage to take care of his utensils and the excess frosting.

Alexis turned to Kate with an exasperated look. "Thank goodness the next show is our last one. He doesn't need any more frosting. We were only supposed to do one show today, but Gram suckered us into two."

"It's for the children, Dear." Martha defended, from her chair off stage. Kate and Alexis moved off stage to sit beside her.

"Seems like a lot of effort for so few to see it."

"It's not so much. Besides, I'm lucky to talk them into this—a few weekends once a year. Before I moved in with Richard, it was more for something the three of us could do together. Now, it's a tradition." Martha smiled and patted Alexis' leg. "I don't know what we'll do when Alexis goes off to college next year."

Alexis squeezed her shoulders. "I'm sure we'll come up with something, Gram."

"We used to have a couple high schools, girl scout troops and a small dance troupe come through so that it wasn't just us throughout the year." Martha glanced at Kate. "Now, we're down to an occasional play from the high school. I don't suppose the NYPD would be interested in doing a little skit every now and then?"

"Uh, no. I don't think so." Kate said, looking at her in surprise.

"Maybe community service for the prisoners?" Martha asked, half serious.

"Martha." Kate was still surprised, and feeling a little flustered. "Martha—I…" She couldn't understand why Martha looked so forlorn.

"Kate?" Alexis, touched her shoulder.

"Uh, you just…you seem so worried. But I don't see what the problem is?" Martha gave her a blank stare.

"Well, there's a stage and no one to fill it. _For the children_." Martha stressed.

"Yes, but," Kate, took Martha's hands in her own. "Martha, you're opening the Martha Rodgers School of Acting. Surely, you could encourage your students to perform here. For credit or something?"

Martha's eyes widened in surprise. "!" she said standing and pulling Kate into a tight hug. "I never—Alexis, why didn't we think of this?" She pulled back with tears in her eyes.

"It's perfect, Gram."

Martha pulled them both into a hug. _Man, this family hugs A LOT!_ "I've got to—well, we—I should call Louis. My administrator," she explained for Kate's benefit.

Castle walked out onto the stage to see his family hugging. "What's going on out here?" Martha turned. "Mother, are you crying?" he asked incredulously.

"Oh, Richard. She's brilliant." Kate blushed, and shook her head at Martha's exaggerated description.

"Really, Martha, you'd have thought of it yourself."

"Thought of what?" Rick asked confused.

Alexis answered, "Gram was sharing her woes about not having any acts to bring here and Kate…well, Kate suggested that Gram should encourage her students to participate."

"Assuming you have students." Rick jabbed, walking up to them.

"I_ have_ students, Richard. Just like I had clients as a life coach." She turned to the girls. "Really, why's he have no faith in me?"

"It's probably just in retaliation for the good work you do keeping his ego in check." Kate's quip caused Alexis to hide a snicker as Rick sneered at her. Truth was they all loved that Kate understood their family dynamic.

"M'ladies," Rick said, said gesturing toward the stage."It's about time for the last show."

Alexis looked to Kate. "Are you gonna go?"

"And miss possibly my last chance to see a Castle-Rogers original? Are you kidding" Kate plopped herself down in a chair. "I'll be right here." When Alexis was half-way across the stage, Kate called to her. "When you're done…I want to know how on Earth you found wooden shoes that actually fit."

Alexis smiled. "Deal. Suffice to say…after this, they may never be seen again."

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><p>Reviews are welcome. Dinner really is up next.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

**Hope you're enjoying this. Harder to find the time to write than I thought it would be. So I genuinely appreciate knowing if you're liking it. Thanks for the reviews and keep them coming [please, with cherries on top?]. **

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><p>Chapter 8 – Off to Dinner<p>

Backstage, Rick looked at his daughter who was prying her feet out the wooden shoes. Behind her his mother was removing the witch's wart and scrapping at some of the putty-like makeup used to make her chin bulge.

"We did a good job, kiddies. Alexis, if you ever wanted to follow in my footsteps…"

"Ah, Mother. She's the brains in the family. We can't waste it on the stage."

"Har, har, har."

"Dad, out. So we can change."

Rick walked out, eyes immediately searching for Kate. He found her sitting in a child-sized chair holding a little girl and reading her a Dr. Seuss classic: _One Fish, Two Fish_.

"You, Detective Beckett, are not where you said you'd be…but this is better."

"Castle." Kate said as she and the little girl looked up at him. The girl slid of Kate's lap and scampered off to a bean bag. "Looks like some of us are still resilient to your Castle charm. Hope remains." Kate shifted her eyes toward the heavens, mouthing 'thank you' the entity there with a smile on her face.

"Full of funny, today, aren't we?" Rick extended his hand to help her up from the pint-sized chair. "Thanks for staying. It really meant a lot to Alexis."

"Well, Castle, I wasn't lying when I said I enjoyed it. Second time, too."

Kate saw Martha and Alexis behind him and dropped his hand.

"You two change fast." Rick was disappointed to lose Kate's hand so quickly after having it in his own.

"Years of practice, Darling. Come now, go get changed. You're taking us to dinner to celebrate. Kate, you'll join us?"

Kate paused. She'd had dinner with Castle's family many times, but going out to dinner somehow seemed different. Still, they were friends, right? And she enjoyed their company. Already, her day hadn't gone as planned—and Castle was certainly to blame for a large portion of her day. Her decision made, Kate glanced at her watch and ran her fingers around the face as was her habit. She couldn't believe it was already after five. And since Josh was now working instead of spending the evening with her as they had planned, _What the hey?_

"Well, I haven't eaten since breakfast and I'm famished, so I'm game."

"You're famished, Beckett? I've seen you subsist for days on little more than caffeine and claws, and today—after a big delicious breakfast, I might add—you're famished?"

"Maybe I make up for my work week on my days off?"

"Maybe you forget to eat and should let me feed you more often?"

"I'm letting you feed me now."

"Right," Alexis eyes bouncing back and forth between the two. "So, go change, Dad. She's famished, remember? And Gram and I are hungry as well."

"But, more importantly, sexy as that getup is, I'm not going anywhere with you dressed liked that."

Rick hooked his thumbs in behind his suspenders, and with a lightly randy grin said, "You think suspenders are sexy, Detective? I'll keep that in mind."

Quick as he said it, Kate was in front of him with her own sly grin. "You do that," she whispered into his ear. Then, while he was still dazed, she stood back, slipped her fingers behind his suspenders and pulled back. "Larry King wants his look back." His eyes widened as she released the straps and enjoyed watching him wince as they smacked against his chest.

"Easy, Tiger." And then, because he couldn't resist: "But, I can keep the tights?"

"If that's what it takes to make you feel like a man, Castle."

"I'm—"

"Really, Richard. We know. Wounded pride. Witty retort. But maybe we could continue this at dinner?"

The three of them pushed him away. "Fine. I'll go. But I'm picking the restaurant."

Rick was back in jeans and his blue button down, he returned to his girls. He paused for a moment to take in the sight. Kate leaning over to look at something on Alexis' phone, with Martha between them looking perplexed, but pleased.

Kate was immediately aware of Rick's presence. She looked up.

"So, Castle, where are we heading?"

"Well, I don't actually know where I want to eat. I just know I want pierogis. I've been craving them for like five years. Haven't had good pierogies since Leshko's closed."

"Stanton's, then?" Alexis suggested.

Rick wrinkled his face. "Maybe. It's kinda hit and miss."

"Castle. If you want good—no great—pieroies, I know just where to go. After Kiev, I missed the latkes and varenyky and even the borsht so much, I dragged Dad around to nearly every Ukrainian, Russian and German restaurant in the City. Have you ever heard of Veselka's?" Three heads shook 'no.'

"Oh, you're gonna love it. Best pierogies in town. Whenever Dad and I meet up for dinner, that's pretty much the only place we go. So?"

"Sounds great, Darling."

"Let's go." Rick jingled his keys, silently asking Kate if she wanted to ride with.

"I drove here. Ride with me, Lex?" The girl nodded her delight. "Corner of 2nd and 9th, Castle. See you there."

"Feel free to change the station. Or you can plug in your iPod. I have an adapter in the glove compartment."

"No, this is fine. It's the same station I normally listen to."

Kate pulled away from the hospital and went over a few blocks, knowing there was a gas station on the corner. "I have to fill up," she told Alexis. "But, I have an ulterior motive for asking you to ride with me."

"Is it about my Dad? Did he do something?"

"Nope." Kate grinned. "I want the scoop on Ashley. It hasn't been just us since we went to the coffee shop—and I happen to know you have prom coming up." Kate left a thrilled Alexis sitting in the car.

When Kate slid back into the car, Alexis filled her in on all the details about prom: when it was going to be (weekend after Mother's Day), who was going with whom, where it was going to be, the theme (Arcadian Nights—a clever play on Arabian Nights). Castle donated his pin ball machine and an air hockey table, but wasn't willing to part with his laser tag. That was okay though because the after-party space had laser tag, bumper cars, bowling and, of course, a full arcade.

"Sounds like you're going to have an amazing time, Alexis. You haven't told me about your dress though. What's it look like?"

"That's the problem."

"You haven't picked out a dress yet?"

"No. I have a dress." She scrolled to a picture on her phone and held it out to Kate.

"It's beautiful, Lex. Looks great on you!"

"Yeah." Alexis took her phone back, her disappointment clear. She scrolled to another picture on her phone and held it out for Kate to see. "Popular, too."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Tess sent me this yesterday. I really love that dress and it took forever to find it." She looked up shyly at Kate. "It matches Ashley's eyes. I know he'd love it."

"Alexis," Kate said looking over at the girl who now had tears in her eyes. She was clearly frustrated and trying not to come off as a typical, frustrated schoolgirl. Kate squeezed her leg. "Two things. One that dress—looks way better on you. Two, doesn't matter what you wear, Ashley's going to love it because he loves the girl wearing the dress, not the dress. Oh, he'll notice what you're wearing to be sure. But, I've seen you two together. He wouldn't know if every other girl—and half the boys—were wearing the same dress. He never takes his eyes off you."

Alexis smiled. "Yeah. He does kinda like me. Kinda like dad with you." Alexis sneaked a look at the detective, completely aware of what she'd just said, wondering what Kate's reaction would be, but other than a slight flush, Kate gave nothing away.

Kate skipped to the issue at hand. "So, what are you going to do about a dress?"

"Well, I thought I'd wear the same dress I wore to my friend Mariana's Quinceañera, but," she gestured to her chest, "I've, uh, grown." Her cheeks reddened.

"Well, looks like you get to go shopping again."

"But, I don't want to go shopping. All my friends already have their dresses. We already did the shopping thing."

"Surely, Paige would go with you."

"Yeah."

"And I would go with you."

"You would?"

"Sweetie, I would love to go with you. We could make a girl's day. You invite Paige, I'll invite Lanie."

"Really?"

"Yes,_ really_. What are you doing tomorrow?" Alexis just shook her head. "Text Paige and see if she wants to go."

Alexis did as she was told and excitedly chimed "She's in." Kate pulled her phone from her pocket.

"Here," she said tossing it to Alexis. "Text Lanie. But make sure you tell her it's you on my phone first. I don't want her sending any foul texts your way." Kate knew Lanie was pretty much a shopaholic and would drop plans—even if they were with Esposito—if it meant she'd get to go shopping. She'd jump at the chance to shop for a fancy dress. "Let's plan around ten…that way we have all day if we don't find something you like right away."

Kate pulled into a parking space across the street from Veselka's.

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><p><strong>Surprise guest at dinner…who will it be?<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Finally have Chapters 9-11 up. Took me a while with all the stops and starts. Full time mom, full-time at work. Maybe you know how it goes?**

**Hope you enjoy my escape as much as I enjoy reading other peoples' Castle imaginings. I'd love to know what you think! I know a lot of you have mentioned liking how in character they seem to be…hope you won't mind this chapter. Kate's way off kilter—but don't worry. Rick's there to support her! **

Chapter 9 – Dinner

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><p>Kate pulled open the door to Veselka's letting Alexis pass through first. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust in the dim entry, but her eyes had already found Castle's. Rick took in her relaxed appearance and shifted his eyes to his grinning daughter, wondering what was making her so happy. She was normally happy, but she had that extra spark just now. Instinctively, he knew it was Kate.<p>

"Guess what?" The girl spoke excitedly to her father and grandmother, as Kate glanced around taking in the small waiting area. It was her habit to check portal points and size up the people around her. Her eyes flicked briefly over a family of four with two young kids and a man with his back to her watching a woman who'd stepped off to the corner of the waiting room to answer her phone.

Kate's attention was drawn back to the family before her as she felt Alexis' arms circle her waist. "Kate's going to help me find a new prom dress. Isn't that great? She even invited Lanie and I invited Paige so we can have a girl's day!"

Rick's eyes moved between the two of them. He was thrilled to see Alexis so happy, and even though Kate was smiling, he was worried that maybe she somehow felt obligated.

"Are you sure you?" he looked questioningly to Kate, and then to Alexis. "Because I'd be happy to take you, Alexis. I have great taste."

Kate was suddenly worried she'd overstepped. She knew Castle loved spending time with Alexis—and he was actually a man who didn't mind shopping. Kate felt Alexis pull back and look at her.

"Oh, Detective Beckett, I didn't think—Do you not want? I mean, you don't have to—" Kate shot a glare at Castle. _How dare he make her think I don't want to spend time with her?_

Kate looked back at Alexis and softened immediately. "Of course I want to go. I told you. I'm looking forward to it." She stressed that last part as she pulled the girl into a tight hug and kissed the side of her head. Over her shoulder, looking directly as Castle, she said, "_I_ wouldn't have suggested it otherwise."

From the corner of her eye, Kate saw the man in the corner turn around. She glanced to him.

"Katie?"

"Dad?"

Jim Beckett was used to seeing his daughter. But not with her arms wrapped around a teenage girl. His Katie wasn't much of a hugger. Him, yes. But he was her father. He stepped forward, walking past Martha and Rick, whose heads had whipped around to stare at the man Kate called "Dad."

The two met in a hug as Kate was asking him what he was doing here. Dinner, of course, he'd answered, laughing. Kate, remembering her manners, turned to introduce him to Alexis, who'd moved closer to Castle and Martha. Briefly, Kate wondered how she would explain who these people were to her. She decided to start with Alexis.

With her hands on Alexis' shoulders, she said "Dad, this is my friend, Alexis." Alexis politely shook his hand.

"Jim Beckett. Pleased to meet you." He clearly had questions about this girl, but wasn't about to ask them now.

"And this," Kate said waving her hand to the woman across from them, on the other side of her father, is "Alexis' grandmother, Martha Rogers."

Jim reached out to shake her hand, saying, "Aren't you?"

Martha looked eminently pleased as she took his hand, saying "Yes, yes I am."

"And this," Kate said, gesturing to Rick, "this is, Richard Castle."

"Mr. Beckett, sir." Rick held his hand out to the man, "Please call me Rick."

Kate watched stunned as her father briefly touched Rick's hand, only to release it quickly and clasp the man in a tight embrace. She'd have laughed if she weren't so shocked. Her dad did not hug. Well, her—but she was his daughter.

Rick was uncertain how to react. He hugged aplenty. But not usually emotional men. Definitely not Beckett's emotional father. He never wanted to imagine hugging Beckett's emotional father because he could only imagine bad, very bad reasons for him to be hugging Beckett's very emotional father. Yet here he was. He lifted his arms to pat the man's back. It was awkward at best, but he didn't seem to notice. Instead, Rick heard the man in his ear. "Thank you. Thank you."

Jim pulled back, his voice so heavy with emotion. "You saved her life. I cannot thank you enough." And he hugged him again.

Rick and Kate shared a bewildered look. Kate knew her father hated her job, that he'd been affected, worried. But, she'd talked to him, explained what happened, assured him she was safe. She'd apparently left him thinking that the man he was hugging was the only reason she was safe. And while that may be true, some part of her was irked that her dad didn't think she could manage on her own.

"To be fair, sir, she saved my life, too—in more ways than one." He knew Kate could hear them, but he didn't acknowledge her. Her father, however, looked right at her when he said, "Mine, too."

He swiped quickly at the corner of his eye, still trying to regain his composure. Kate was about to reach for his hand, when a woman stepped to his side.

"Jim, are you okay?"

Kate's head snapped up. She heard the concern in the woman's voice, but wasn't able to process it. She was much shorter than Kate, dark blond with short cropped hair and lighter highlights. She was neither trim, nor plump. Kate's mind settled on buxom-y. Kate took in the details of her face. Dark hazel eyes, set close together under carefully arched and penciled eyebrows. A snub nose perched on her full, round face. Expertly applied make-up hid the small pock marks on her cheeks. Wispy green and silver earrings, matching her shirt, dangled nearly to her shoulders.

"Yeah...there's someone I'd like you to meet. This is my daughter, Katie." She saw her father put his hand at the small of the woman's back. "Katie, this is my friend, Sheryl."

"Oh, OH." Kate's eyes widened. She held out her hand and felt a slight tremor, but hoped no one else noticed. No such luck. In an instant, she felt Rick behind her. "I'm Beckett. Katie. Detective Beckett." She was flubbing her way through an unnecessary introduction. "I'm Kate," she said again.

She turned a bit to Rick. Not really looking at him, or at anything really, Kate introduced him.

"This is my partner, Richard Castle."

"Partner?" Sheryl said. She looked to Jim. "In my day, we just called them boyfriends." She paused and flushed, "Oh, God! How old did that make sound?"

When Kate didn't object to the terminology, Rick knew something was really wrong. He'd been with Kate in a lot of different situations, some fun, some dangerous, some light, some not—but this what out of the realm of his "how to handle Kate" repertoire he'd been steadily contributing to over the last three years.

Martha chose that moment to introduce herself and Alexis to Sheryl. She informed them that their table was ready, and that she'd taken the liberty of requesting a table for six. Rick guided her to their booth and she slid in beside him, their backs to the wall. To her right was Sheryl, the woman her dad was having dinner with and next to her, at the table's edge sat her father, who leaned in to whisper something in Sheryl's ear. Kate looked away, across the table at Martha, who gave her a kind smile.

"So, Kate, what do you recommend?" Ah, Alexis. Kate turned to her. Thank God for Alexis. Alexis was safe.

"I usually just order the varenyky special." Alexis looked at her questioningly. "Varenyky are pierogies. The have so many different fillings. You can pick which ones you want. They have arugula and goat cheese, plain cheese, meat filled. My favorite is sweet potato. Sometimes I just pick the ones I want and order the borscht—creamy beet soup—to go with it."

Alexis didn't look like she was too sure about the beet soup.

The waiter was there to order their drinks. "What do you think, Richard? A bottle of Château le Grand Vostock?"

Rick looked at Kate. She looked uncomfortable, like she could use a drink. He was feeling like one himself. Maybe something stronger than wine. He glanced to Jim, knowing that a bottle of alcohol could make the recovering alcoholic uncomfortable if he had to decline a glass. "Why don't you just order a glass, Mother? I'll have a Coke he said to the waitress." Everyone had placed their drink order but Kate. Rick nudged her gently.

"Wine?" he asked. She nodded slightly, so he ordered for her and requested lemon for her ice water.

Halfway through dinner, Kate was picking at the food on her plate. She'd cut into a few pierogies, but hadn't done much more than move them across her plate. Kate didn't remember walking through the restaurant. She didn't remember sitting down. She didn't remember ordering. She knew she'd talked Alexis into trying her borscht. Alexis hadn't been a fan, but Rick liked it. She'd convinced Alexis to tell her father and Sheryl about the play and then about Ashley and prom. She realized she'd put a lot on Alexis, constantly steering the conversation to anything and everything that had nothing to do with her, her job, Rick or her father. Alexis was safe.

Kate mentioned their shopping plans for the next day. Her voice sounded loud to her. _Am I really here?_ She felt like she was on the outside looking and listening in. _Am I having an out-of-body experience? _And God, she felt warm. Maybe it was the wine? She glanced to her wine glass. No, it was near-full. Maybe it was Rick? She suddenly became aware that she was leaning heavily into his side. She reached for her wine glass and settled back in.

In the space around her, she heard Martha's laugh. She'd been telling about the time her wig had become entwined in her suitor's vest buttons during a play. From there the conversation turned to the other woman, what she does, and how the woman with hint of a southern accent ended up in New York. Kate heard "bakery" and "cakes" and "sister" and some talk about weddings and baking. Rick mentioned that their friends Ryan and Jenny were getting married and that they'd be needing a wedding cake. He said he'd be happy to pass along her card.

"Cups'N'Cakes," Castle said looking at her card. "Cute."

"Mostly we serve coffee, pies, pastries."

"Bear claws?" Rick asked.

Sheryl nodded, "Cookies, too. We take special orders for cakes. My sister does all the baking. I run the bin, manage the bills and help with the cake decorating. Couldn't bake to save my life. I'm not allowed to even look at batters and pie crusts. Can't touch the oven, either."

"Hey, I'll have to stop in for Kate's morning coffee and bear claw. Right, Kate?" Rick laughed, and turned to Kate. She didn't answer. Rick nudged her again.

"Hmm?"

"Sheryl was just telling us about her bakery and all the goodies. We should go for coffee and a bear claw sometime, right?"

"Oh, yeah." Kate looked back at the woman and her father. She knew she hadn't been paying attention, but wanted to try to make up for it—be friendlier than she had been. Make a gesture.

"You should make oatmeal scotchies, too. They're Dad's favorites." She smiled.

The woman lowered her head and shifted uncomfortably, then glanced at Jim. "I'll…I'll keep that in mind." She looked disheartened. Kate wasn't sure where she'd gone wrong. She was a baker, right? Hadn't she just shared an insight about her dad? Acknowledged that they were together?

"Katie, are you okay?"

"Yeah, Dad. I'm fantastic." She looked up at Rick. "Aren't I fantastic?"

Rick held her gaze for a moment. Most would see the sometimes green, sometimes brown depths and move on, unable to see anything more. Not Rick. He looked into Kate's gorgeous, if not slightly glassy eyes, and saw pain and confusion. Again today. But this didn't flash and fade. She either wasn't trying to hide it from him or she was unable.

Her eyes reminded him of Alexis' after her mom had left and didn't come back. Not quite the same, but similar. But Kate's eyes also held a layer of fear and anger that he didn't like seeing in her eyes. He suspected it had more to do with how she felt about the reaction she was having to seeing her Dad with another woman rather than that the fact that he was actually with a woman. But then, Kate didn't seem to even be aware of her actions, so maybe that wasn't it.

If she were more aware, she wouldn't have downed her wine and started on another. She wouldn't be burrowed into his side with her father sitting there. And she wouldn't still be staring into his eyes waiting for him to tell her she's fantastic. Rick put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulder pulling her closer to him.

"Of course you're fantastic." He wanted to drop a kiss on her head and hold her to him, but he knew he couldn't without everyone at the table watching and wondering exactly what was going on between them. Especially when he was the only one who knew that the sad answer was "nothing." He settled for dropping his arm behind Kate's back. He rubbed her back, offering support in the only way he knew how—without everyone knowing.

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><p><strong>So, what do you think? Liking it so far?<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**This chapter is all Rick and Kate! Reminds me of that "hot and cold" video someone put together over on youtube.**

Chapter 10 – Say what?

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><p>Later, Kate felt Rick pressing into her back. She looked up to see that dinner was over. Alexis was still scooting out one side of the booth and Rick was prodding her toward the side her father and his friend had just exited. Kate slid out the booth, and stood on her all-to-weak feeling legs. She was thankful Castle was behind her. Kate ran a hand through her hair and excused herself to the restroom.<p>

Kate stepped into the stall and leaned her cheek against the cool metal. She needed time alone. Time to think, but she knew she couldn't stay here. It was time to say her goodbyes, head home. She was feeling more like herself, knowing she had a gracious escape plan in place. But, when she stepped back out through the waiting area, she was surprised to find only Castle, holding a takeout container.

"Castle. Where is everyone?"

"Oh, they left already. I said I'd wait for you."

"Ah," Kate said stepping out the door.

"Everything, okay?"

"Yeah, just surprised they didn't say goodbye. Uh, I'll see you later Castle." Kate glanced at him and headed down the sidewalk.

"Kate!" Castle called to her.

"What, Castle?"

"Where are you going?"

"Home, Castle. I want to go home."

"You can't what do you mean, 'I can't?' I most certainly can. Look," she said walking backward, "Perfectly capable." She turned back around and clipped off at a fast pace.

"Kate!" Castle said with a quick sprint to catch up with her. He grabbed her elbow to spin her around. The moment she felt his hand on her, she had her hands on his chest, slamming him into the side of the building. He dropped the Styrofoam container he'd been holding.

"Dammit, Castle." Kate's fiery breath raked across Castle's face. He pulled in a sharp breath and winced. _She's so hot._ He tried to focus, but was too fascinated with how her eyes had darkened. Kate was pressed against him and none too pleased with the reaction she had to being so close to him. Castle's dazed look only further pissed her off. "I'm leaving. Now." She released her hold on him.

"Fine, but two things. One, when you're hungry later, don't blame me because that was your dinner," he said pointing to the pierogies spilled out onto the ground. "Two, your car is over there," he said pointing across the street. "Not that I think you should be driving."

"Oh. Thanks."

"Let's make it three things. If I have your attention?"

He really didn't want to make Kate mad or hurt her. "Uh, Kate you insisted your dad and his, uh, friend come back to my place to watch a movie with us. So, if you really want to go home, that's fine, but how 'bout you call your dad and let him know you're not coming?"

"What? Castle? Why would I do that? That doesn't even make sense." She was waving her hands around. "Are you messing with me, Castle? I'm not in the mood." She was still irritated, but he could hear the doubt in her voice.

"Text Alexis, Kate. They're on their way to my place."

"We weren't even planning on a movie after dinner."

"No. Not that I, we, would have minded spending more time with you."

"Why would I do that?" she asked again, but this time he could hear doubt in her voice.

"Well, your dad insisted on paying for dinner."

"You let my dad pay for dinner? You never let me pay."

"I was _trying_ to decline, or make my way to the register to pay, but then you agreed that he could pay for dinner _if _they agreed to join us for a movie back at my place."

"So, what you're saying is that I invited myself and my father and some woman I don't even know back to your place?"

Rick smiled, wanting to inject some lightness into the conversation. "Mi casa es su casa?" She gave him a weary smile.

"Come on, Detective." He pulled her toward her car. "How about I drive? I'll fill you in on the dinner you missed."

Rick pulled open Kate's passenger door, and settled her in. He climbed into the driver' seat and pulled the lever to adjust it. As tall as Kate was, he needed a bit more space. He glanced at Kate, her head leaned back and eyes squeezed shut. Her stomach rumbled, and Rick laughed.

"You should have eaten. As I recall you were famished. Two glasses of wine doesn't count as dinner."

"I had two glasses of wine?"

"And, sadly, that's not even the reason you're out of it. You're got a far better excuse." He started the car.

"Hmm. Yeah. My dad. Or rather, his…" Kate realized she didn't even know for sure what they were. Were they dating? Was she his girlfriend? Why hadn't he mentioned her?

"Girlfriend?" Castle finished for her. "Can't even say it, Beckett?" he teased.

"Castle." Her warning tone. _Right, too early to joke about._

"Kate, let me ask you a question. Do you even know her name?"

Kate looked away with shame and embarrassment. _Some detective I am. Attention to detail and all that._ "Sharon?" she asked tentatively.

"Close. It's Sheryl." Rick was realizing she'd been more out of it than he thought. Not just lost in her thoughts; but a world away. "What do you remember?"

"Alexis. I put a lot on her. I guess I owe her an apology. And my dad. And _Sheryl_." Kate turned misty eyes toward Rick, her head still leaned against the back of the seat. "I don't really remember anything else from the last hour." _Except you._ "I'm going to have to re-have every conversation we just had, aren't I?"

"I'll do my best to fill you in on the way, Kate. You know I'm good with the details. What kind of partner would I be if I couldn't recall them for you?"

Kate smiled her thanks. Then another worry crossed her mind. "Rick," she reached out, touching his arm before he pulled into traffic. He stopped and looked at her. "You can't tell anyone about this. Please?"

He didn't put private moments with Kate in his books. They were just for him. And he didn't discuss them with others, but he knew Kate still worried about it. He wished she trusted him more.

"Don't worry, Detective." He put his left hand over hers and held it in place on his arm. "You secrets are safe with me."

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><p><strong>Reviews are appreciated. I love knowing what you think. Also, can I just say how excited I am for the next episode? Someone put up sneak peaks that make me want to melt!<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**Hope you like this exchange. Of if you don't, that's okay, too. Just let me know what you're thinking if you have time. Thanks and enjoy!**

Chapter 11 – Revelations

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><p>On the ride back to Rick's loft, Kate learned Sheryl was a transplant from Georgia. She has two kids—a son and a daughter and five grandkids from ages 2 to 10. Her kids and grandkids still live in Georgia, outside Atlanta where they grew up. She's divorced and moved to New York twelve years ago. For a while, she missed her friends and job as a regional bank manager. She lives with her sister, Margo, and her husband, John, not because she has to, but just because they like the arrangement. Together, they own a bakery over on West 8th Street, in the NoHo district. Rick stressed that Sheryl does not bake, she runs the café and manages, while doing some cake decorating.<p>

Kate didn't ask any questions on the ride home, just listened. Rick fell silent in the elevator, unable to think of anything else that Kate would want to know. She asked just one question. "Do you know how long or how they met?"

He paused outside the door. "Didn't come up, Kate." She took a deep breath and nodded that it was okay to open the door. He guided her through the door.

"Richard, Dear! Thought you'd gotten lost."

"Had to stop for gas." Rick lied. Kate knew Alexis would know this wasn't true as well, but she just announced that they were just in time.

"We were debating the merits of Peter Jackson's King Kong over the original."

"Or vice versa," Jim states.

"Peter Jackson's. Hands down." Kate and Rick said at the same time. They stopped and looked at each other, slightly pulsed that it had happened again. Martha and Alexis are getting used to it by now, but Sheryl's laughing and Jim's just staring.

"Apparently your dad and Gram like to kick it old school."

"That's not what we're watching, though, right? It's like three hours long…and I don't think I can sit for two hours without any action tonight."

Kate rolled her eyes. Alexis blushed. Jim wondered what the hell he was getting at. Sheryl stared.

"Really, Richard. You'd think you'd have a better way with words."

"What? The whole first half _is_ boring."

"It's character development, Dad. Gives you a chance to connect. You'd think you of all people would appreciate that."

"Little too much of a good thing."

"Patience, Castle."

"But it's King Kong! He's supposed to be tearing up New York, crunching cars, causing utter devastation and fear in the hearts of men!"

"Castle. Cut the melodrama. If you don't want to watch King Kong, what do you want to watch?"

They moved into the living room. Castle and Alexis started going through their movie selection, calling out titles to pique their guests' interests. Kate wanted to speak to her father, though. It was the real reason she was here. To get him alone, apologize, figure out how he felt about Sheryl. Before he sat down, she touched her father's arm.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Of course."

She led him to Castle's office. She glanced at Rick to make sure he wouldn't mind, even though she knew better. He just encouraged her with a smile.

Jim turned to look at his daughter. Kate wasn't interested in hem hawing. She dealt too frequently with suspects who'd prevaricate and do all they could to make it harder to find answers. She wanted answers, but she knew she couldn't treat her father like a suspect. Best to start with her own admission.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I…you…I was caught off guard. I had no idea you were dating someone. I mean, you never mentioned anyone. I didn't even know you were dating."

"I'm sorry too, Katie. I managed to make you each uncomfortable. Sheryl knows all about you and yet it was obvious to her that I never mentioned her to you, the most important person in my life."

"So you care about her?"

"Very much so."

"How long?"

"How long have I been dating or how long have Sheryl and I been together?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. Sheryl and I have been dating for about five months, pretty serious for the last three."

"But you dated before her."

"It's been a long time, Kate. I was lonely. I couldn't always intrude on your life or depend on Bill."

"How long?"

"I don't think you really want to know, Katie." Kate stared at him, demanding an answer. "I'm not proud of some what I did early on, but after I sobered up…It was a long while before I dated again. I've dated four women since then. None longer than a couple months."

"I can't believe I didn't know."

"It's a two-way street, you know, Katie. You don't tell me about your boyfriends. I've only known when you're dating someone. I haven't met a boyfriend since you brought home that one fella, Will. And then, I only met him once." It was his turn. And he was curious about Richard Castle.

"I found out about your shadow from Lanie. I didn't know you two were dating, until tonight. I'm glad to see you've found someone, though. It's obvious how much he cares about you."

"What? Castle and I are _not_ dating."

"What? Are you sure?"

"Dad, I'm pretty certain that if I were dating Richard Castle, playboy extraordinaire, I'd know about it. So would half of New York. The press would be all over it."

"Really? I thought…He just seems so…" _In love._ Jim took a moment to look over the man's office. Papers clipped by clothes pins hung around the room. Everything seemed to be in order, though, except the man's desk, which was littered with photographs. He looked closer thinking they were of his daughter. He picked up one, realizing it was Johanna.

"Kate? What is this?

"It's…I was going to surprise you with it on Mother's Day." Every Mother's Day, her father took care to be there for her. It was a hard day for Kate. Harder than Christmas. The one day set aside to honor your mother and Kate only had a few memories, a few stories and a short lifetime of photos. On Mother's Day, Kate would visit her mother's gravesite and then go to her parent's house. She and her dad make dinner together. Sometimes they'd reminisce; sometimes they'd just sit together, maybe watch a movie.

Kate shuffled the photos around until she uncovered the invitation wording she and Castle had worked on. She held it out to him to let him read it.

"Castle set up a scholarship in Mom's memory." Jim looked at his daughter. Clearly, they'd been working on this project a while, but he could see that she was still overwhelmed by the thought of honoring her mother in such a way. Castle was giving her something that he hadn't known she'd needed.

Kate could see that he wanted to ask 'Why?" just like her Aunt Nadine had. She tried to explain about the case they had. How Castle was determined to find out what everyone would do if they had a million dollars. How he'd shown up at her door, asking if he could host a fundraiser. How he'd already contributed more than her bank account would ever have to worry about accommodating.

Jim didn't know what to say. He knew she was trying to explain why Rick was doing this. Money was one thing. And it was clear Richard Castle had more than enough money. One glance around his loft told him that. The man could support any cause. Donate to an existing scholarship. Instead, he's immersed himself in creating a new one. Helping his daughter sort through photos, planning what looked to be a 5-star event. How could his ridiculously perceptive daughter be so blind?

"It's amazing, Katie. It's really…geez, I don't even know what to say. Grand? Phenomenal? Definitely unexpected."

"Yeah. I've had a hard time wrapping my head around it, too." She gave a small laugh and hugged her dad's side. "But it's happening. That's what Castle does. He's good at making stuff happen. Even these photos…his idea to digitize them for a slideshow."

"I have some at home I'll bring over. They should be included." Jim wrapped his daughter in a bear hug. "I'm happy you're so happy. Thank you for telling me now." Then he pulled back to look her in the eye.

"What, Dad?"

"Well, I'm going to try not to hurt you again by keeping stuff from you. I'm going to be more honest…accessible when it comes to us talking about our relationships. And I do have something to run by you, because I promised I would, but it's completely up to you. If you want me to stay, I will."

"Stay?"

"Sheryl has invited me to go with her to meet her family, stay for a week."

"But?"

"She's leaving this Thursday. And we'd be gone through the following Sunday. I wouldn't be here on Mother's day."

"Oh." Kate bit her lip and thought momentarily. "Well, you should go. I'll be fine here, Dad. Really." She didn't want him to go, but she could see he wanted to.

"Are you sure, Katie? Because you know I'll stay if you want me to." And he would have if he could see any indication in her eyes that she wasn't all right with him going to Atlanta.

But Kate forced a smile to her face and the shine in her eyes _was not_ from any hurt she was expertly hiding from the man. "Go, Dad. They're gonna love you." She pulled on his arm. "Now let's go see what movie we're watching."

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><p><strong>So, what do you think? Do you like the pace? Shopping with the girls is coming up next.<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**As I said at the beginning, I have this story all outlined and know exactly where it's going. However, this next chapter was not planned. It's provided because keal and Jayce Gish mentioned some Rick/Jim time would be nice. I actually thought it was a great idea and it plays nicely into something I have planned for later, but hadn't quite worked out the how. See, reviews do matter! Thanks for the idea! Really appreciate it!**

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><p>Chapter 12 – Movie &amp; J.B<p>

When his office door opened, Rick looked up from where he stood, making popcorn and pouring sodas over ice for his guests. Kate and her father would have worked things out easily enough. He sensed a closeness between the two, even if he imagined they tried to keep things light—a likely remnant of years spent supporting one another with a "laugh so we don't cry" philosophy. So, he was surprised to see her smile producing a different kind of dimple—the small, tight dimple that told when she was tense or irritated. It contrasted with her dad's elation.

Time to take her mind off things. Rick brought out a couple bowls of popcorn and the first round of drinks.

"We settled on _Date Night_. That alright?"

"I haven't seen it, so good with me."

Kate, on the other hand, had seen it, and was glad she wouldn't have to pay too much attention. She looked around debating where to sit. Martha sat regally in the lone chair. Alexis sat, busily texting, in one corner of the couch with her legs drawn up beside her. On the opposite end, was Sheryl, with her father settling in comfortably beside her. She couldn't see making Rick sit thigh to thigh with her father, but there was easily enough room for her to sit.

Rick returned with more drinks and watched as she slid her long form in next to Alexis.

"Scooch, pooch," she said as she lifted Alexis' legs and dropped them back over her own. She leaned in to Alexis and whispered into her ear causing her to giggle and say "'Kay."

Rick returned to his living room one more time, holding a plate and glass for Kate. He offered it to her, she accepted wondering why he was handing her a plate. Then she remembered how hungry she was and that she hadn't eaten…he was always trying to feed her. Why should she be surprised now?

"PB and J, Castle? What am I? Four?"

"You're welcome, Detective. Enjoy."

Rick was glad to see her smile, and she looked more relaxed there next to his daughter. He turned his attention to the movie that was starting and didn't turn back to her until she nudged him to take her empty plate. His eyes were on the movie, but his mind was very much focused on the women sitting behind him.

As much as Kate consumed his thoughts, his daughter was his other constant. He was worried about her. With Meredith, she was trying too hard. She was actually going to see her mother this year on Mother's Day. Since Meredith called last week saying she'd be in town to meet a producer, Alexis had been busy making plans. She was trying too hard, forcing a normal that simply didn't exist for her and her mother.

Rick shifted to lean an arm on the couch. It allowed him to glance at his daughter and Kate. They were snuggled together on the couch, Kate's arm wrapped across his daughter's shoulders. Alexis' head, rested below Kate's shoulder, so near the pad of her breast, that Rick's insides burned with the thought that if he could trade places with his daughter, just for a moment, he would die a happy man. Between the two of them, they sat hugging a pillow. They looked so natural together. He wished he could have made this a part of Alexis' formative years. But, it was too late for that. Still, he was glad they had Kate. Even if he couldn't have her forever, he knew he'd call on the serenity of this moment for the rest of his life.

When the movie was over, Rick wasn't surprised when Kate didn't linger. He called her a cab. Sheryl, Jim and Martha were enjoying one another's company and made no move to part ways. Kate didn't even seem mind that she was leaving her father and his girlfriend with people they'd met just hours ago. She briefly hoped her father would recuse himself from sharing any stories about her with Castle. Her willingness to risk endless teasing from Rick in favor of a solitary, restless night revealed the depth of her inner chaos.

After seeing Beckett to the door, Rick entered his office, intending to retrieve tickets to his mother's play for Jim and Sheryl, who seemed delighted at the idea of attending her show. Hearing knocking on his open door, Rick looked to see Jim Beckett standing there.

"May I?"

"Of course."

"Katie told me about all this." Mr. Beckett waved his hand at Rick's desk.

"I hope it's okay," Rick said, suddenly worried, more with him than he had been with Kate, that he had crossed some sort of line. Kate knew he pushed, but she also knew he cared. Jim Beckett didn't know that. Maybe he thought dwelling in the past wasn't a good way to move on.

"It's…" Again, Jim Beckett had no words to describe it. "It's an incredible gift you're giving my daughter."

"I can't think of anyone who deserves it more."

"I'd agree with you there. It looks like it's coming together well."

"Oh, it is. Beckett and I just finalized a bunch of details this morning. Still more to do, but, like you said, it's coming together well."

Jim chuckled, "It's still so weird to hear people call her Beckett. Even she does it when she answers her phone. To me, she's just Katie."

"In my head, she's Kate." Rick admitted.

"Head or heart, Rick?"

"Sir?"

He was answered with a stare—a penetrating stare. Rick didn't answer. He couldn't say something to Kate's father that he couldn't say to Kate. Sure, he knew, but he didn't think Kate wanted to know.

"You know, when I first started hearing about you, Katie was so…flustered. And mad. She went on and on about how the if the mayor were actually your friend, there's no way he'd allow you to put yourself in dangerous situations. She was pissed to think that by having to watch out for you, she was compromising the safety of her team. I believe her exact words to describe you were 'ink wielding rat' and she hated that you were using her and the NYPD as a gimmick for more endorsements, more money, more fame. But, what she hated the most was that this farce would distract from the victims and their families. She was so incredibly worked up."

"I promise you my intentions were never so nefarious, and though I did use my connections to begin following Kate, it only ever had to do with her." _Whoa, that was too much._ "Uh, I mean, the crime scenes, the victims…Kate's amazing to watch. So multifaceted. And, of course, the story behind the crimes, the victims intrigues me. As a writer, very good fodder. I'm not so arrogant and self-aggrandizing as I'm sure Kate has made me out to be."

"Oh, no-no, No. Don't misunderstand me. I said 'at first.' Then we'd meet for dinner and Kate would have me in stitches over things that had happened at her work. She never really talked about work with me before. I guess it was probably all too heavy. Maybe she didn't want to relive it or didn't want me to know how every day she focuses on how rotten people can be to each other? But now, I guess she has things she can laugh about and she shares those things. Your name comes up a lot."

"Really? Because she doesn't laugh that much at work. More now than she used to."

"I have a feeling that has to do with you. You know, I really thought you two were together? Even last year. And then, last summer, I barely saw Kate. Every time I talked to her she was working. I thought you two broke up. She didn't seem like herself again until this fall when she started calling again, and she seemed happier."

Rick dropped his head. He knew that Beckett and Demming had ended over the summer. Had he seen it coming, he would have stuck around. Maybe Kate would have found him then. Instead, at some point, she'd found Dr. Joshua Davidson, world-traveling cardiac surgeon. The golden ratio of perfection. Rick had hoped that Dr. Motorcycle Boy was the rebound guy. But as the months passed and when he stayed instead of going to Haiti, his hopes were dashed. Kate wanted something she could dive into, and Josh stayed.

"Wish I could say I had something to do with that."

"How could you not? You've brought her the break she needed in Johanna's case. You saved her life—more than once. You're doing this for her." Jim gestured again to Rick's desk. "The question I have is why?"

"Well, let me ask you. What would you do if you had a million dollars?"

"Cabin, Colorado Rockies. And maybe learn to fly a helicopter."

"See? Everyone knows. Fishing boat. Winery. Long-term vacation. Everyone has an answer. Kate didn't. But I knew there had to be something. The fact that she couldn't or wouldn't answer just meant that what she would do wouldn't be something palpable. It would be deeply meaningful, deeply personal. I did this to see her smile."

"I saw it tonight when she told me. It's some smile."

"You should have seen it that night." Rick smiled. His voice was wistful and his eyelids lowered a bit as he watched her face go from schoolmarm-y to a happy-spacey.

"So, what you're saying is…you're in love with my daughter?"

"No, Sir. I don't think her boyfriend would like that too much. So I am not saying it."

Dismissing for a moment that Kate had a boyfriend she hadn't mentioned even after he'd promised they were going to start being more open about this kind of stuff, Jim said knowingly, "The words might not be coming out of your mouth, but, I can see it oozing out of you, in everything you've done, everything you do for my daughter. And I read your Nikki Heat books."

There was no use denying it. He was a father, too. He knew.

"Just don't tell Kate."

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><p><strong>It's not getting to long for your tastes, is it? Let me know, ok? <strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**This one's introspective…**

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><p>Chapter 13 – Lost in thought<p>

When Kate awoke for the second time that morning, she found she'd fallen asleep on her couch. Josh had texted her and rapped on her door a bit before five in the morning, and when that failed to wake her, he'd called. Kate had assumed she would see him this morning even though she was still irritated with him for the way he'd treated Castle—but now her mind was so bogged down in other thoughts, she was unable to summon any outward display of her feelings on the matter. Josh, in turn, was exhausted after his double shift and, though he had tried to convince Kate to come back to bed with him, she'd turned him down, claiming an early night had left her restless.

And that was mostly true. Katedid have an early night, but she was still feeling tired. She'd left Castle's place as soon as she could after the movie ended. She thought she wouldn't be able to sleep, especially the way her mind raced during the movie. She simply couldn't pay attention to it, and was glad it was one she'd seen before. As soon as it was over, she stood, stretched, yawned, commented on a long day and collected her things. She was stalled only by Castle insisting she take a cab since she was so tired. He reasoned she'd be back in the morning to collect Alexis anyway.

Privately, she appreciated his thoughtfulness. Outwardly, she gave him a mild glare and gritted her teeth. She hated that _he_ knew _she_ was emotionally exhausted and distracted. But she stayed, avoided in-depth conversation and waited for the cab. She was rewarded with hugs from everyone—but Castle—when she left. Castle had knowingly steered clear when Sheryl mentioned what a cute couple they made. Castle's sly grin told Kate that he'd left out _that_ little detail when filling her in on all she'd been oblivious to at dinner. _I can't believe I sat there all night with everyone thinking Castle was my boyfriend!_

Kate immediately set straight Sheryl—and anyone else who may have doubted her earlier. "Castle and I are just friends," she'd said with conviction, as Rick held the door open for her. As she stepped out, he whispered her words from earlier in her ear: "Just friends, Detective? I thought we were partners." She'd paused, looked into his eyes and stayed there a moment longer than necessary before nodding her agreement.

Kate walked away quickly, but paused at the elevator when she noticed Sheryl had slipped out after her. The woman had stood in front of Kate looking nervous and embarrassed. Kate felt bad for her, and paused to tell her again, how nice it was to meet her, how happy she was for the two of them.

Sheryl had just looked at her and said, "I just…I know you're a private person…uh…not that I know you…just, you know…from what your dad's said about you. And I know you don't know me from Adam, but…I just…I just want you to know…I care about your dad."

In a rush, she'd continued, "I know it's gotta be weird for you, especially to find out how you did. It was for my girls when I started dating again—and their father and I chose not to be together anymore. I mean, we made a choice, you know? I just…I wouldn't want you to think I don't respect what they had, what you had." Sheryl's words came out all at once and, though she knew the woman meant well, the mention of her mother caused Kate to stiffen a little. Why couldn't it have been her mother who met Castle tonight? Her mother who's laughter rang out while they watched the movie? Her hand that rested on her father's shoulder? Still, Kate pushed a kind smile to her lips and thanked Sheryl for understanding, telling her she'd get used to the idea, just needed a little bit of time.

Her day had started out fun and a little emotional with Castle at her place. Then Josh arrived and there was tension. And then by pure happenchance, she ran into Castle, Alexis and Martha. _Really, what are the odds I'd run into Castle? Let alone at a hospital, with Castle wearing tights and putting on a play? _Kate smiled at the memory of him, thinking hard on the look he'd had when he found her reading to the little girl. She hadn't planned to end up spending pretty much the whole day with Castle and his family, but she'd really enjoyed it and reveled at the prospect of spending more time with Alexis today. Still, as much as she enjoyed the day—the crazy, crazy day—the evening wasn't near as much fun. It ended with the revelation that her dad was not only dating, but was actually pretty serious about another woman.

Kate spent the early morning hours analyzing her thoughts and reaction to her father's newfound coupledom. _Was it better knowing or would she rather go back to being oblivious? Oh, why did I suggest Veselkas?_ She was glad to have time alone, to process—especially after she'd crashed last night. She hadn't held any hope of restful sleep. She imagined tossing and turning, even a few tears. That she was out as soon as she settled under her comforter told Kate more than she'd like to admit about the state she'd been in last night.

Seeing her father with another woman had sent Kate into a mild state of shock. The realization had completely usurped Kate's confidence and caused her to question her position. Who was she as a daughter? As a woman? Was she a woman? She didn't know because suddenly she had no idea what it meant to have needs, to meet the needs of another. Instead, she was a child who'd just been abandoned. She was angry and scared. No matter that twelve years had come and gone, her father was cheating on her mother! Right in front of her and asking her to be okay with it. More than that, he was leaving her and her mother to go be with that woman and _her_ children. No matter that twelve years had come and gone since her mother and father had whispered to one another, brushed lips or shared a loving look—this was wrong. It had to be wrong.

And yet her father was smiling. He seemed more relaxed and he had a spark in his eye that she hadn't seen in years. He seemed younger, really. And he deserved every happiness in the world and that's what Kate wanted for him, for them. And wasn't this what they were working toward? A shot at a normal and loving relationship? She couldn't expect him to not be lonely, and though no daughter wants to consider it, to _not_ have needs. Why shouldn't he find happiness with a woman, who to all appearances, was sweet and kind and genuinely seemed to care about her father? And why couldn't Kate feel happy for him, for them? Instead, she was here, acting like an injured, peevish child.

As her thoughts vacillated between concern for her father, concern for herself and genuine thankfulness that her father had found someone, it occurred to her that her reaction was really quite normal. This bothered her more than it should have. She should be better at compartmentalizing, at driving down those feelings of malcontentedness. She was a detective, for Christ's sake! Her livelihood depended on not giving way to her emotions. Stealth-like control over every expression, every tell, every movement was a job requirement that Kate embraced even when off duty.

Kate took small comfort in knowing that while Castle—_damn him_—certainly knew how much she'd been affected, the others seemed to think she'd just been a little off kilter. Between the wine she'd indulged at dinner and during the movie and Castle' explanation that they'd just come off a tough case, when really, they'd only done paperwork the last two days, their families had believed Kate was just more boisterous than normal. And Sheryl didn't know one way or another.

It also occurred to her that maybe she was just a tiny bit jealous that her father had seemed to successfully move into a new relationship. He'd managed to tear down the walls he'd built pint by pint after her mother's death. He'd opened himself up to relationship, a genuine shared emotional state, where Kate knew hurt and worry would play a role in one way or another. _How did he do that? How did he let go?_

Kate had grown so accustomed to isolating the various parts of her life. Personal and Professional. Shared and not shared. After her mother's death, it seemed to her that she and her father had actually bonded over their commitment to segregate their emotions. They conquered what they could with sarcasm and determination, and later laughter. Anything they couldn't beat down, didn't actually exist. Kate had always been the more dedicated of the two.

Her life was perfectly segmented. The flavors didn't meld together to form an intoxicating concoction. The paths she pursued in her personal and professional lives did not cross—unless it was on her terms. She had built and disguised her walls so well that no one even knew where to look for them. If someone got too close, they'd be warned off by strategically placed booby traps. Strays, too scared to continue on their course, would set off in another direction. _Until Castle._

Castle ran around the fortress Kate had so painstakingly built around her heart like he'd grown up there. He knew all the secret entryways and built some of his own. Whenever he would stumble upon a landmine, he'd find a way to disarm her. He rode around like a knight in shining armor ready to defend her. He was the sentry standing guard at the gate; the court jester drawing smiles for an audience of one. When he'd seen puddles around her fortress turn to raging rivers and threaten to flood her out, he'd built her a bridge and beckoned her to safety.

_Oh, God!_ A loud attritional groan rose from Kate's throat. It wasn't the first time she'd imagined Castle as her knight in shining armor.

_Enough!_ Kate pushed herself from the couch. It wasn't quite eight yet, but she had a feeling Alexis might be up.

**Good Morning, Sunshine!**

**Remember 2 wear UR walking shoes ;-} I'll b by b4 10… **

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><p><strong>Ready for some more AlexisKate and Kate/Lanie bonding time? Hope so. Will try to lighten it up a bit, too!**

**I value your reviews, so if you are feeling so inclined, drop me a line! **

**Also, can anyone tell me what "life" means so far as the days and what they mean. So, if chapter 1 has 42 days left, does that mean it disappears if I don't re-upload it?**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

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><p>Chapter 14 – Making Music<p>

Kate stood outside Castle's door. Her eyes were leveled to where she knew they'd meet his. She was unaware that her head was already tilted to receive the kiss he'd place at the hollow of her cheek, where her smile curved up when he greeted her. This was her favorite detail about coming to Castle's—and no small part of the reason she looked forward to arriving on her own rather than with Castle. He'd taken to greeting Kate with a kiss on the cheek when she entered his home. It afforded her a small measure of closeness with the man she wouldn't admit wanting to be close to.

It started a few months ago when she arrived with the boys, Lanie and Jenny for poker night. She allowed it because, she reasoned, he'd just done the same thing to Lanie and Jenny—in front of their other halves, no less. He was just being gentlemanly and gracious when greeting his guests. If his kiss on Kate's cheek lingered a little warmer, a little lower, they all pretended not to notice.

Kate knocked and dropped her head in surprise when her eyes found the space above Alexis' head rather than the expected blue of Rick's eyes. Except the one time she'd dropped by knowing Rick wasn't home, Castle had never not been the one standing on the other side of the door.

"Alexis, hey!" She stepped in, pulling the girl into a loose, one-armed hug. She'd have hugged her more fully, but Alexis was holding her violin off to her side.

"Practicing?"

"Yeah. Have to when Dad's not here."

"Where is your dad?"

"Soup kitchen. First Sunday of every month."

"Ah." _Soup kitchen?_ Kate registered brief surprise figuring he'd have told her of his good deeds, but then immediately remembered Castle in tights at the Roger's Play Atrium. _Always something new. And he thinks I'm an onion?_ Still a bit confused, Kate asked, "Why do you have to practice when he's not here? He loves to hear you play."

"I know. That's why I'm surprising him with an Alexis original for his birthday."

"Really? I didn't know you knew how to compose your own pieces! That's pretty advanced."

"Tell me about it. I thought it was a good idea at the time. I mean, what do you get for a man who bought himself property on the moon and already has every gadget from his own soda-making machine to laser tag?"

'I've been struggling with that myself." Kate grinned. "What _do _you do?"

"I know, right?" Kate laughed at Alexis' use of Rick's words. "I've gone the tie route, the make him dinner route...He has more than enough pictures of me…Hey, you could always give him a picture of you. He'd like that."

Kate laughed. "Alexis, I'm _not_ giving your father a picture of me. He'd probably draw on a fake moustache or use it for target practice or somehow alter it and share it with the whole precinct just to embarrass me."

"Doubt it, Kate. Besides, if he wanted to do that, he'd have done it a long time ago." Kate dropped an eyebrow. "Photos on his phone."

"I told him not to take pictures at crime scenes."

Alexis smiled. If Kate thought the photos on her dad's phone were of crime scenes, she wasn't going to get him in trouble.

"So, do I get a sneak peek at your piece?"

"Uh, it's still a work in progress. And it's short—only like two minutes. A little longer, if I can figure out how to get passed the part I'm stuck at."

"I'd still love to hear it. I mean, if you want to. I won't judge, I promise."

"Actually, I could use a judge. Ash and Gram aren't exactly discriminating. All they say is how great I am."

"We'll they're right." She watched Alexis face drop. The girl was far too hard on herself. Kate stepped right in front of her and put her face right in front of Alexis', like she often did when she wanted a suspect to know she meant business in the interrogation room. "I promise to forget it's you playing and just listen to the composition."

Alexis exhaled a sigh of relief and moved to the stool she had pulled up near the music stand, positioned just off to the side of the piano. She sat facing the piano and the window, so Kate walked over to the piano bench. As she went, she ran her fingers, lovingly over the graceful bow of its shape. She admired it every time she walked into the room, but she'd never touched it. Her fingers had never floated over its keys. It was a parlor piano, a high-end Steinway. The rich mahogany reminded her of her grandmother's upright. She loved the way the ivory keys warmly contrasted with the dark wood, but still seemed perfectly paired. It appealed to her more than the black grand pianos with stark white keys ever had.

Forgetting for a moment, that Alexis was about to play for her, Kate's finger's found their way to the keys and launched into the first chords of Paganini-Liszt's Etude No. 2. It had always been one of her favorites.

Kate paused for a moment. She looked up to see Alexis staring at her. 'You play?" Kate didn't answer. She winked at the girl and let her fingers be her answer. She looked back to the piano and began to play Brahm's _Lullabye_.

Kate closed her eyes. She knew this piece by heart. It took her back another time. She felt the warmth of the lamp as it sat on the piano and reflected a soft glow around the room. Her grandmother beside her, coaching her. She saw her grandfather, reading in his chair. The cigar he barely touched, but always had to have, wasting away in the ashtray beside him. It was a beautiful memory.

When she heard Alexis hesitantly join in with a few notes on the violin, she smiled and nodded for the girl to continue. The song had never sounded better to her than it did in that moment. When the song ended, Kate knew her eyes were shining with emotion. They just sat for a moment, Kate not ready to speak and Alexis not wanting to ruin the moment for Kate.

When Kate did speak, it was lighthearted. "Remind me again…why are you still taking lessons?"

"_Me?_" the girl squealed. "I didn't even know you could play!"

"I haven't in years."

"Fooled me."

Let's just keep this between you and me, 'kay? If your dad finds out, I'll never have a moment's peace at the Old Haunt."

"Okay. But seriously, Kate. There's a story there, and I want to hear it."

"I'll tell you my little secret, but then you play and we get going—or we're going to be late getting the girls."

Alexis nodded.

Kate took a deep breath. "I used to dream of being master pianist, and sometimes a singer. You know, the female version of Harry Connick, Jr., but less…commercial. My grandmother—my dad's mom—was my first teacher. She started teaching me when I was three. I was eleven when she passed away, but I'd already begun taking lessons from other people by then. She didn't think she could teach me anything else, and I wanted to be great. After she died, I kept playing because I loved it and it made me feel close to her. I was even debating minoring in music composition in college. I was only a few credits shy before I changed my major altogether."

"Well, then. I'm not sure I want to play for you. Your schooled ears shouldn't be subjected to something so abrasive as what I'm about to do."

"I'm sure it's not that bad, Lex. Besides, I might actually be able to help. I do have some experience composing and modifying arrangements. I haven't done it on the piano in a while, but I never put my guitar away."

"Okay. But you've been warned."

Alexis adjusted herself on the stool, and paused to look at the sheet music in front of her. She started to play, and played flawlessly for about the first minute and a half. It really did sound pretty good. But then she stopped, and went back a few notes and started again. Only to stop in the same spot.

"Just play it all the way through—even if you make a mistake."

"It's not a mistake. Not really. I just don't know how to make it flow into the part. It never sounds right, no matter what I do."

"Then skip to the next part."

Alexis played the last part. Where the first part of her composition was low and slow and melodic, and the last part was upbeat, higher and staccato.

"Well, Alexis. It sounds really good. Especially the first part, it's so full of feeling. But I can see what you mean."

She asked a few questions and then asked Alexis to play the whole thing one more time. She knew what the problem was immediately, and how Alexis could make it better. But, it was her song, her composition. She wanted Alexis to come to it on her own.

She asked Alexis what she wanted to convey in the transition. She was surprised at the answer—she hadn't expected it to be so well thought out.

"Well. The first part of the song is a slow and steady, no surprises. It's just us, the way we were when I was growing up. But, the last part is us now. The back and forth, it's how he wants me to grow, be big, have experiences, but then how he pulls me back in because he doesn't want to let me go, how he's afraid of what those experiences will be. But, I want it to sound happier, or lighter than it does, because he's happier. Instead, it just sounds choppy."

"I don't want to tell you what I think you should do with it, but, uh, how 'bout I play something. Might give you an idea." Kate sat back at the piano. She began to play a piece that she'd played many times before, though she had no idea what it was called. She chose it because it went from low, melodic notes like Alexis's piece and ended on a more upbeat and happy note, also like Alexis' piece. The biggest difference was that during the transition, which was pretty much missing in Alexis', the notes dropped down low before peaking higher, and then it went back and forth in increments, until it stayed, finally, at the higher notes throughout the rest of the cadenza. The other main difference was that the notes throughout the end of the piece were longer, and flowed into one another, rather than being so clipped.

When it ended, she looked over at Alexis, who'd sat down beside her on the bench. "So, how'd that make you feel?" she asked, nudging her side.

"Inadequate." Alexis put her head on Kate's shoulder and let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Oh, Alexis. Don't say stuff like that. This was just to give you an idea, something to think about." She moved Alexis' hair off the girl's shoulder and back behind her ear. "I love your composition. You're just too close to it right now. As soon as you work through that rough spot, you'll see just how good it is."

"I know. Maybe I should have recorded you."

"Nah. Just mull it over. I'll bet you'll have that spot worked out in a few days.

"Actually, I might have an idea already." She leaned up and kissed Kate's cheek. "Just let me make a couple notes, then we can go."

Kate's heart swelled. _That Castle is a lucky, lucky man._

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><p>So, what do you think so far? I'm having a hard time believing I'm 14 chapters in and I'm not even done covering the first two days in my version of Kate &amp; Castle's coming together. Also, I'm about a week behind in my story timeline, so if you're expecting some Mother's day grief (as you should be), don't worry…it's coming.<p> 


	15. Chapter 15

**The long-awaited shopping trip! Enjoy!**

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><p>Chapter 15 – She's a beautiful girl<p>

"Morning, Chicas!" Lanie called as she stepped outside her apartment building. "It's a fine day for shoppin', and time's a wastin'. Where we going?" Lanie was rubbing her hands together. "Manhatta Mall? SoHo? Macy's?"

"Geez, Lanie. Good to see you to." Kate laughed. "This is Paige, Alexis' friend. Paige, this horribly inconsiderate shopping fiend, is my friend—"

"_Best_ friend."

"Dr. Lanie Parrish."

"Pleased to meet you, Girl."

"My pleasure." Paige shook Lanie's hand, her refined manners evident in the light grasp.

"Hi, Lanie." Alexis gave the woman a quick hug. "I'm glad you could come. As to where we're going…we haven't decided yet."

"We've already been to the mall…that's where I got my dress and where Alexis got her first dress."

"So, I'd kinda like to try someplace else."

"Macy's maybe? Or there's that new strip mall in Midtown?" Kate suggested.

"Madison Avenue, then?" Paige suggested at the same time.

Alexis watched as Lanie and Kate exchanged a quick grimace. She knew from all the times Kate got mad when Dad insisted on paying that she paid attention to her pocketbook. And even though she was officially the one looking for a dress, she didn't want Kate or Lanie to be uncomfortable.

"Actually, I was thinking," she turned to Lanie, "Well, Kate said you know where to find all the best stuff. Something about a 'sixth sense' for fashion…You have such great style, and always look fabulous. I was kinda hoping you'd be willing to dish."

Lanie grinned at Kate as she locked arms with Alexis. "Ooh, Girl. Kick Castle to the curb. We are _so_ keeping her."

Kate laughed. "Tried that. We keep Castle _and_ the perks. I call dibs on Alexis."

"But you already have Castle. What do I get?"

"You get to decide where we're going."

"Ever been to the boutiques around 15th street in East Village?" Three heads shook 'no.'

"Let's start there."

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><p>Already, they were three hours into their shopping excursion, but they were still in the fourth store they had visited. At least there were dresses in this store. The first store looked promising when they first walked in, but after scouring the racks and Alexis trying on a few dresses, they determined the dresses here were a little too racy for Alexis' tastes…and Castle's sensitivities. The next store had a couple "maybes"—but none seemed to suit Alexis perfectly. Still, they were having fun. Kate didn't realize shopping with the teens and Lanie would be so much fun. Sure, she thought she'd have fun, but she was having a lot of fun <em>and <em>she was incredibly relaxed—especially compared to last night.

They'd spent a lot of time at the third store, Nifty Things. It had all sorts of unique gift items. Kitchen utensils made in the shapes of parrots and cows. The flying pig helicopter toys. Martini glasses with funny sayings. Jeweled contact lens cases. But the thing that amused Kate the most was the stuffed olive. It was literally a stuffed olive—a little smaller than a soccer ball, green with a red "pimento"—stuffed just like you'd find any kid's stuffed animal.

When Alexis had found it, she held it up to the others. "Look, Guys. It's a stuffed olive." Kate took one look at it and cracked up, to the point that she had tears in her eye. Maybe it was the moment or the nonchalant way Alexis said it, but she found that stuffed olive endlessly amusing. Lanie and Alexis laughed a bit, but mostly at Kate's reaction. Paige and a couple other shoppers looked confused.

"Oh, _come on_! It's a stuffed olive!" Kate said, swiping a finger at the corner of her eye. "That's funny."

"Girl, you got a warped sense a'humor. You think that's the funniest thing ever."

"Gimme that." She knocked the stuffed olive from Alexis' arms and caught it in her own. "I'm buying it." She didn't know what she was going to do with it, but she had to prove to herself that someone else would think it was funny.

The fourth store Kate wasn't too sure about. Oh, it definitely had formal dresses, but something about being surrounded by wedding dresses and bridesmaid's dresses left her feeling a bit queasy. The wedding dress crossed her mind, but only in a 'that's so outlandish you'd think it came from Castle' kind of way. _And the bridesmaid's dresses? _If she never saw another bridesmaid's dress, it would be too soon. Though, from the way Lanie fingered the sleeve of the long, white gowns that was on display near the changing rooms, she wondered if she wouldn't soon have to make an exception. At least Lanie had good taste.

They all walked around looking for something that Alexis would love. They could reject a lot of dresses just based on color alone. With Alexis hair color and complexion, reds, pinks, oranges and even some purples were immediately rejected. Though they had found one that was a pink and purple camoflauge design that they made her try on. They figured there had to be a contest somewhere for best prom fashion disasters. She'd stand a chance at winning just for considering it.

Kate found a navy blue dress with a silvery, lace overlay in a flowery pattern which color-wise, looked incredibly nice on Alexis, but was entirely the wrong fit. Alexis found a black, satin dress with a choker-style top which left her shoulders bare. It was a possibility. Alexis was in the middle of trying on a fun, bright teal-colored dress Paige had picked out when Lanie approached with something that paled in comparison.

It was a two-dress. The color was a dark, golden ivory. It hinted at a cross between light brown and pale yellow. The bodice was covered in clear sequins and beads in the same color as the bodice, but when you looked closer, you could see some light stitching and beads in brown and a light green. The skirt was the same color: plain, full and unembroidered. Lanie lifted the top to reveal the bottom half of the dress. Gathered along the waist, positioned slightly off-center, there was a sash, of sorts, in a eucalyptus green color that fell nearly the length of the dress. It was held in place by a flower in the same ivory color, with browns and greens weaved into the design. Alexis and Kate looked altogether skeptical. Paige looked downright repulsed.

"Look, I know the color is…a little off-putting. But, I really think you should try this on. I think by going with this lighter color, with your complexion, it'll actually make you look tan. And, you know, it's on a hanger. Everything looks different on." With all the doubt staring back at her, Lanie looked less confident at the end of her pitch than she did at the beginning.

But, Alexis, bless her heart, smiled, if a bit hesitantly and said, "Hey, it's worth a shot. I've rejected dozens that I thought were right, so maybe the one that I thought was so wrong will be right?"

Lanie looked over to Kate, knowing the significance of the girl's words wouldn't be lost on Kate. They'd talked about this before. "Girl's got a way with words, doesn't she Kate?" Kate refused to look at Lanie. She knew she wasn't getting out of today without talking to Lanie about L.A., Royce's letter—which she knew Lanie read—but she wasn't ready to broach the subject yet. Especially not here, standing in front of Castle's daughter.

Kate watched Alexis move to the changing room with the dress slung over her arm. She wondered how many times she pondered that same thought—but about something much bigger than a prom dress. She'd tried hard not to after Castle came back. For one, it wasn't fair to Josh. But, more importantly, she didn't want to be in that position again. She leapt before, admittedly a little late, but she fell hard—and alone. It didn't work out. But they were friends now, and that meant more to Kate than she could possibly say. So, why was that thought invading her brain so often again?

Kate was wandering, still thinking and looking at dress options when Alexis came back into the room. She stood on the stool in front of the six way mirror that wrapped half around her. Kate looked up and stepped toward the girl, locking eyes with her in the mirror. Alexis stood there with her arms hanging down in front or the perfectly fitted sweetheart-style top. She smoothed her hands over the bottom of the dress, and played nervously with the sash.

"Wow. Alexis. You look…beautiful. Lanie was right."

"Remember she said that girls. 'Lanie was right.'"

"I didn't think it would look so good—but it feels great on, too. Not itchy or tight. It's not too long or anything. It's just…my glass slipper, I guess." She offered a half smile in apology for her sappiness.

"Okay, Cinderella," Paige joked. "I just can't believe it actually makes you look like you have a tan. Remember we tried spray tans and you looked orange? Now you look totally natural and...classy, but fun."

Lanie was still thinking about the dress and what would go with it. "Only problem is you can't wear black shoes or white shoes. You might actually have to find glass slippers."

"On the plus side, your wooden shoes will match perfectly!" Kate beamed at Alexis while Paige and Lanie looked perplexed.

"Very funny, Kate. I told you. Those are fire fodder. Never to be seen again."

"Ashley won't mind if you crush his toes with your clod-hoppers."

"Already embers."

"I'm a Detective. I'll need to see evidence."

"All up in smoke."

"Liar." Kate said winking at the girl. "Maybe, I'll just call your dad? Have him find them for you? That way you can try them on with your new dress."

"Like I want my Dad digging around in my closet."

"Why should you get off easy? He digs around in mine. Here, hold still while I take a picture."

"Are you sending that to my dad?"

"Of course. He'll love it."

Lanie and Paige weren't sure what just happened, but the banter between the two had them all smiling.

While Alexis moved back into the changing room, Kate scrolled to Castle's name and attached Alexis' photo to her message.

**Found it! What do you think?**

She figured he'd reply back immediately, but Alexis called to her first.

"Uh, Kate? Can you come here?"

"Sure, Sweetie. I'll be right there." Kate was knocked on the door a bit hesitantly. Paige had been the one to help with zippers all day, so she was unsure of what to expect. Alexis opened the door and pulled her in. Alexis' cheeks were flushed—she most definitely wasn't looking tan.

"What's up?"

"I'm, uh, I've never worn this kind of dress before. I mean, it dips lower in the back and the way it's cut in the front."

Kate waited, but she didn't continue. _There's got to be a question in there somewhere._ "Do you not really like the dress? Because we can keep looking."

"No. It's not that. I love the dress."

"But?"

Alexis' cheeks reddened a little more. She looked down to where her clothes lay folded on the bench, her bra on top, and finally Kate understood.

"Ah," Kate said, kicking herself for prolonging the teen's discomfort. "Well, Lex, you're not all that busty, so… Do you feel like you're going fall out?" The girl shook her head no.

"And does the top gap? You need to try sitting, bending, and, since you'll be dancing, lifting your arms. If everything stays in place, and you feel comfortable, then I'd say you don't need a bra. The only reason to wear one would be if it would make you feel more comfortable."

"Thanks, Kate."

"No problem. If you decide you want to wear one, they make specialty bras to accommodate the shape of virtually any dress. I'm sure we can find you one."

Kate's phone buzzed.

_**My new ringtone for Alexis.**_

"Your dad just sent his response to the photo. Wanna hear it?" Alexis nodded, thinking Kate was going to read it to her. Instead she heard, part of KT Tunstall's _Suddenly I See._

_Her face is a map of the world  
>Is a map of the world<br>You can see she's a beautiful girl  
>She's a beautiful girl<em>

Alexis grinned. "Aww, he's sweet. Tell him I said thanks." Kate agreed. He was sweet. She typed out her message

**So True! Must be in the genes.**

_**Glad to know you're thinking of what's in my 'genes'**_

**Mind out of gutter. Lex says U R sweet & thanks**

_**No prob. Now I need a new ringtone for you, though…**_

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><p>So, worth the wait? I love to read your thoughts, so feel free to leave a review. Many thanks for reading!<p> 


	16. Chapter 16

**Kate and Lanie**

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><p>Chapter 16 – What's it mean?<p>

They opted for a late lunch at a nearby café, with patio seating. When lunch was over, the girls wanted to check out a store they'd passed on the way to the café. It looked like it catered to teen girls with an odd mix of décor, clothing and music. Lanie suggested she and Kate stay a while longer, rest their feet, enjoy the afternoon sun and drink their coffee. Kate knew what was coming, but decided she didn't mind. She wasn't even too surprised by Lanie's lack of preamble.

"Are you gonna tell me what happened between you and Castle in L.A.?"

"Lanie, why do you always assume something has happened between Castle and me? Why can't we just be good friends?"

"You can be. You are—the best of friends. I'm no dummy. You tell him things, things you don't even tell me."

"Lanie, it's not like—"

"Kate, I'm not going all jilted on you. It happens. I get the girl talk, the shoulder to cry on. Doesn't take away from us. Besides, don't they say you're supposed to marry your best friend?"

"That's quite a leap there, Lanie."

"Just talkin', Girl." Lanie paused and looked down at her latte. "You know I read Royce's letter, right?"

Kate nodded, pain still evident in her tight smile as she acknowledged this.

"It's just…I've seen you two together. Even at Royce's funeral. You two just seem closer, is all." Lanie wanted to scream at her, tell her to she'd better start talking, but she knew she wouldn't get anywhere.

Kate was extremely private. Played it close to the vest, Esposito had said. She wouldn't talk if she didn't want to; she wouldn't reveal anything she didn't want you to know. Except to Castle. That man was the girl's sodium pentothal; Lanie didn't know anyone else who could make Kate talk so easily—not that she didn't fight it.

Finally, Lanie heard a faint "Maybe we are closer?"

Now we're getting somewhere!

"Maybe you are _how much_ closer?"

"Oh, I don't know, Lanie." Kate let out a heavy sigh, and her shoulder slumped in frustration. "We might have had a moment."

"A moment?"

"Yeah, Lanie. A moment."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know, Lanie!" Kate tucked her hands in her hair and pulled them down to her neck. "What does _any _of it mean? What does it mean when your best friend—your partner—would follow you off the grid? To keep you from doing something stupid? To help you do something stupid when he can't convince you otherwise? What does it mean that we've almost died together or that he's saved my life more times than I care to count? _You _tell _me_, Lanie. What's it mean?

"Girl, you know what I think it means."

"But it can't mean that, Lanie."

"I think you and I both know it can."

"It can't. I can't think about it. I can't separate it from potentially life-altering—life-ending events enough to know what's real and what's not."

"Kate, I love you, Girl, and that might be true. It might be what you're feeling now. But don't you think it's shortsighted? This thing with Castle didn't just come about with the freezer, with the bomb."

"It doesn't matter. It _shouldn't_ matter. I have Josh, had him before the terrorist threat, too."

"Josh, who was about to leave the country—again—for another two month stint in Haiti?"

"Still, he stayed for me. Doesn't that mean anything, Lanie? Why is it so hard for everyone to believe that Josh might care for me—the way I want to be cared for?" A whiny sullenness had entered Kate's voice.

"Oh, Honey, it's not hard to imagine that anyone could care for you. Just the opposite. I mean, what's not to love?"

"A lot, Lanie." Kate exhaled with a defeated sigh. "There's a lot not to love. But, I'm trying to be better, and I'm trying to open myself up more to Josh. I mean, he stayed for me, shouldn't I give that a chance?"

"Girl, I'm not saying you shouldn't. But how long do you think it takes to make the feeling grow? How hard do you have to work at it? I'm not trying to discourage you, and it's probably not fair because I've only seen you two together a handful of times—and two of those times one or the other of you was upset because your schedules weren't working out."

Lanie looked up at her friend, knowing she wanted to hear that she, too, believed in what could be, but the truth was, she didn't see how Kate couldn't see what was right in front of her. And it wasn't just Castle's feelings for Kate, the way he was always there, taking care of her without being asked, without Kate really even noticing that she allowed it. No. Kate was different. Happier. Lighter. Even prettier, if that was possible. And when she forgot to be wary, she nearly floated.

"All I have to compare it to is you and Castle. I'd have to trade my scalpel in for a machete to rip through all the heat and sexual tension that surrounds you two. It just exists. You didn't have to work for it. You're not even sure you want it, and yet there's no denying it's there."

"Having chemistry isn't the same as having deep-seated feelings."

"Chemistry doesn't launch itself—unarmed—at a professional hit man."

"Maybe adrenaline does?"

"All I'm saying is I wish I had someone who'd look at me the way Castle looks at you."

"Lanie, did something happen with Esposito?"

"No. Nothing."

"Lanie, you don't get to make me bare my soul and then get off Scot-free. Speak. _Now._"

Lanie's first thought was 'This is Kate Beckett baring her soul?" but she wanted Kate's input, so she moved past it.

"It's just _nothing's_ happened. At least nothing that should have happened. I mean, it was fun at first. Just nice to be with someone who knew me, who knows I cut up dead bodies all day and isn't turned off—_or on_—by it. It didn't bother him. Treated me like a lady first, then a woman. I felt like he was seeing me."

"So what's changed?"

"Me. I think I'm feeling things for him that I shouldn't be feeling. Things I didn't expect to be feeling."

"You never know, Lanie, he might be feeling the same way."

"I don't think so, Kate. He was pretty taken with Mandy Bronson—"

"Maybe he was just star struck. It's not like we hob-nob with celebrities."

"Uh, Castle?"

"He doesn't count."

"It's not just her. He keeps mentioning other women…who owe him favors, and I don't know…just wish I knew where I stand."

"That doesn't mean anything, Lanie. Even if he's still seeing other people, it doesn't mean he doesn't want to be with you. You're the one who wanted to keep things casual."

"I did, at first. Because we work together. Didn't want it to get awkward. But I've been trying to subtly show him that I want more now. He knows I haven't dated anyone else for a while."

"Maybe he needs you to be more honest and direct about what you're feeling."

"I don't want to push him away."

"He's not a mind reader."

"We could be talking about you and Castle."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Let's just say, I'm having a real easy time relating to Castle."

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><p>Hope you like this chapter! It was fun to write. Reviews are appreciated! I love knowing how it's going from your perspective!<p> 


	17. Chapter 17

**Thanks, everyone for all the great reviews! They're a great motivator. Also, kudos to guitar73girl for catching the truth serum reference in the last chapter! **

**Hope you like this next installment!**

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><p>Chapter 17 – Don't thank me<p>

There was nothing strange about this case. You know, besides the fact that a perfectly healthy twenty-four year old woman lay dead on her boyfriend's living room floor.

The call came in just after 3:00 AM after witnesses heard the shot and called 911. Multiple witnesses reported seeing someone who matched the boyfriend's description fleeing the scene shortly thereafter.

Beckett, Esposito and Ryan arrived at the scene all within 20 minutes of getting the call. Perlmutter was already collecting the evidence and easily placed time of death around the same time witnesses heard the gun fire. The team assessed the scene and collected some additional evidence. Beckett made a quick call to Castle—he sometimes listened in to the police scanner if he was up late writing. She didn't want him just showing up at the crime scene, then whining because it was so typical.

Kate knew they'd have to notify the girl's family, but she figured she let them enjoy a final few hours of peaceful sleep before she opened the door to the perma-hell that she knew all too well. She also knew that their suspect would hunker down, and if they wanted their suspect's family and acquaintances to cooperate, they'd stand a better chance if they roused them for questioning in the morning. She sent the boys home to get a few more hours shut-eye and promised to do the same after delivering the evidence to the precinct for processing. She'd complete all the necessary paperwork now, in hopes that her evidence would be first in the queue. Though they kept one tech on overnight, she doubted her evidence would be addressed until morning.

Paperwork processed, Kate began building her murder board. There wasn't really much to put on it, and she was done in a matter of minutes. She decided to make good on her promise to Ryan and Esposito. Knowing the break room would be a popular place in about an hour, Kate sought out the small conference room. She pulled a blanket from the drawer in the end table and settled onto the small couch.

She loved her desk, but this room had become her favorite room at the 12th. Though it had taken on a bitter-sweet dynamic, it held a special, wholly comforting appeal. They'd celebrated so many closed cases in here. Stayed late to work through tough cases—pizza always making an appearance. It had seen its fair share of beers and tears. They'd read Castle's fan mail here. It was where she'd told him what she never told anyone—about the life she'd saved and the life she lost. It was where she'd learned her mother had been assassinated and where she'd challenged "Oh, I don't need to drink to take him," before watching him walk away.

Still, this was also where they'd helped reunite one lucky, if not forgetful Mr. Preswick with his first love. Here, Castle read to her Nurse McClintock's lovesick letters to his imprisoned fiancée. _I love you._ Here, she'd regaled Castle's heroics to the boys and the captain after he yanked the wires from the bomb. Esposito had told them "You don't know how lucky you are." _Actually, I do. _Here, she smelled like cherries, and fell asleep with a smile on her face.

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><p>The boys weren't surprised to find Kate in the meeting room, and though they didn't want to wake her, they knew she'd be pissed if they let anyone else find her sleeping there. After a quick Paper, Scissors, Rock challenge, Ryan made his way to get coffee. Unlike Castle, Ryan actually had been a boy scout, and he knew better than to wake a woman—well, this woman—without coffee in hand. Be prepared. At Ryan's quiet mention of her name, Kate was immediately alert. She stood, already folding the blanket and asking if they had any news on their suspect.<p>

Ryan handed her the coffee, while offering an apologetic, "No." He told her Esposito was checking with the lab, trying to get an ETA on ballistics.

"We need to track this guy down. I want to talk to him. _Today_. Start with family, and see what you get from there." She caught a glimpse of herself in the window where the shades were down. "I've got to notify our victim's family, get positive ID." _But first, I need to run a brush through my hair._

Kate made her way to the door. "Call me if you find anything."

"Will do."

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><p>Less than an hour later, Kate sat back at her desk. It was never easy telling families that their loved ones weren't coming home. In this case, Mailin Chen's family consisted of just her mother and younger brother. Mrs. Chen didn't speak English, and Kate had been grateful for the brother's presence. He'd been amazingly strong. They'd asked few questions, which was good because Kate had few answers for them. And they'd been unable to answer her questions about the boyfriend. Beyond his name (Blake Li), a general description and knowing that he was into body building, they didn't know anything about him—far less, in fact, than Detective Beckett had learned in the last five hours.<p>

The boys were still out trying to track down Li's whereabouts. She called them, wanting to know if anyone had mentioned what gym he attended. Later, she'd start there. The boys hadn't known, but promised to stop back by Li's apartment to see if they could find out. In the meantime, Kate started running his financials. She wanted to know everywhere he'd been in the last two months. An hour and a half later the boys came back, still no suspect, but they had the name of a gym. Different place than she had uncovered in his financials.

Lanie called Beckett to say she was on her way up with the bullet from the vic and details on what she'd found. There was nothing on the body, so she hadn't bothered calling them down. Kate went to get her friend a coffee. While she stood waiting for the espresso machine, she glanced at her watch. She knew it was still too early for Castle. Too bad, really. He was much better at operating this thing than she was. Still, it gave her something to do.

Kate hadn't seen Castle since Saturday. Well, not entirely true. She'd seen him Sunday when she'd dropped Alexis off, but he'd been asleep on the couch. They hadn't noticed him at first, but when Alexis ran up to her room to retrieve Kate's CD, she'd wandered to the living room, intending to rest her feet after a long day off shopping.

Instead, she found herself staring down at Richard Castle's face, torn between wishing he'd wake up and standing mesmerized by the lines on his face. Even in his sleep, his face was such an odd mix of man and boyish charm. He still had the deep lines around his face and, even relaxed, she could see where his dimples were. She knew how they'd deepen if he discovered she was watching him sleep. She wouldn't admit this to anyone, but she was fascinated with the lines on Richard Castle's face. Especially the lines at the corners of his eyes, how they crinkled when he was amused. The one that most fascinated her, though, was the deep crevice between his brows, slightly off center. What had caused that groove? Never had her urge to press her thumb into it, to trace her fingers along his face been stronger. _Thank God Alexis came back when she did._

"Kate? You okay?" Lanie asked, pulling Kate out of her reverie.

"Yeah." Kate smiled. "Just making you coffee so you'll be nice and palpable and tell us all we want to know."

"Yeah, like I hold back. Come on. Writer Boy just got here."

"Castle's here?"

Lanie raised her eyebrows. "Isn't he always? And he brought flowers."

"Wh-what?"

"It's true. One for me. One for you." Lanie reached up to grab two glasses from the cupboard, which she filled with water.

"Why?"

"Ask him. And carry my coffee."

As they walked out of the break room, Kate immediately took in the boys. They were laughing heartily about something. She headed toward the murder board beside her desk knowing they'd all end up there anyway. Lanie walked to the boys to retrieve the file she'd left on Esposito's desk and took a moment to put the flower Rick had given her in one of the glasses.

Rick chose that moment to head to Kate's desk. He'd set his own coffee down already, but he had her coffee and flower positioned in one hand and the pastry bag holding a bear claw in the other. He wanted the pleasure of handing these goodies off to her and watching her squirm over the flower. He'd get away with it because he gave Lanie one, too.

Kate looked up at him. "Castle. You're here early." She said accepting the coffee and the pastry bag. She hadn't seen the flower the way he'd positioned it behind the coffee. Rick watched as her eyes narrowed when they closed around the cup and encountered the stem. She slowly turned the cup to reveal a pink carnation. Then she peeked in the bag.

"Castle what did I do to deserve coffee, a bear claw and the carnation?"

"The coffee's a given. Bear claw because I knew you had an early morning. Haven't eaten have you?" She shook her head slightly. "And the flower is just to say thank you."

"Thank me?" Kate wasn't sure the liked where this was going.

"You know. For taking Alexis shopping. It meant a lot to her. And to me."

In an instant, Kate dropped the pastry bag to her desk and had her hand on his chest, and she pushed him into his chair. "Castle," she said, leaning down to put her face directly in front of his. ", If you _ever_—and I mean EVER—thank me for spending time with your daughter again, I'll—"

"Shoot me? Giving a pretty lady a flower is hardly a shootable offence."

"No, Castle. I'm not going to shoot you. Again, not worth the paperwork." She crossed her arms and smirked. "Pull something like that again, and I will make sure your fans know where to find you for a solid week. You'll be holed up at home."

"You wouldn't.

"I would."

"You wouldn't because I'd be with you."

"I'd take a vacation."

"Then you wouldn't know where I am."

"I could track your phone."

"Or take me with you."

"Keep dreaming, Castle."

Ryan, Esposito and Lanie chose that moment to walk over. They were, of course, wondering what Castle had done to get Beckett all riled up—_again_. "What's going on over here?" Esposito asked.

"Well, after I thanked Beckett, here, for helping Alexis find a prom dress, she threatened me with death by fan-icide and then offered to take me on vacation with her."

"Really, Castle? That's what you took from that conversation?"

"Selective hearing." He shrugged.

"Fan-icide?" Ryan questioned.

"Later." Beckett said, scowling at Castle as he started to stand. "Lanie, what have you got for us?"

"Bullet was lodged in Ms. Chen's breast bone. I was able to remove it still intact. The cartridge is a .45 ACP. I can tell you with a bullet that size, she wasn't shot at close range, or it would have gone through and through. Plus there's no GSW to suggest otherwise. Grooving indicates Glock, and I'm already running it through NIBIN to see if we get a match. Also, there's no evidence that the bullet passed through any other structures or materials before entering our vic."

"That matches with what we saw at the scene," Esposito said. "Could have shot her from the far end of the hall—even the other side of the bedroom."

"Why'd he do it though?" That was Castle. Always after the story.

"We'll be sure to ask him that when we bring him in, Castle." Beckett said snidely, before turning to Ryan and Esposito. "Li's whereabouts? Any leads?"

"We're still following up with some of the family members. Want to get in a couple of callbacks before lunch."

"Okay, I've got a few calls to make myself. Let's do that, then take an early lunch? Lanie, you in?"

"Remy's?"

"Is there any other place?" Esposito asked.

"Sounds good. Been eons since we all made it to lunch together. An hour?" she asked the group.

"We'll be ready. Unless we get a location on our vic."

They parted ways, looking forward to lunch.

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><p>If the case detail stuff isn't up to snuff, forgive me. I need a little bit of it to propel the story and tried to get the details right, but, it was taking a while to research. So I tried to balance getting it exactly right, with getting another chapter up. For example, I think in reality a bullet that size would have blown through the vic, but that detail would have required more explanation than just pulling it from the vic. So, I hope you're all okay with this…let me know! Reviews are appreciated! Still need an idea as to how to kill an upcoming vic, so if you have one…let me know. Has to be BeckettCastle flavored…


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello all! Thanks for the great reviews! I'm so psyched and worried for the season finale. One of those things I can't wait to see and don't want to watch. I'm also waiting to see if/how it will correlate with this story line. I'll let you all know tomorrow whether you'll have to ignore 3x24 for this story to correlate with the story line. From the looks of things, it may fit, if we all pretend it happens later. But, I won't force it…we'll know soon enough. Or, I'll know soon enough…this story is still creeping toward Mother's day, so more than a week behind…**

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><p>Chapter 18 – In Sync<p>

Kate had made all her calls, updated her murder board and entered the evidence details in the case file. Now she was debating. She was still upset with Castle about making a big deal about her spending time with Alexis. She was sure she got more out of it than Alexis, but she wasn't quite sure why and she couldn't explain it. Why did she like spending so much time with the teenager?

She looked over at Castle. He'd finally stopped staring at her about ten minutes ago. She didn't have to look up to know.

"Hey, Castle?" It was a different tone. She either wanted to ask him something or tell him something. Either way, she was going to get his undivided attention. He pushed his phone into his shirt pocket. He turned to her, and inquired with his eyes.

"I'm not really mad."

"I know."

"And thanks for the carnation."

"You're welcome."

"But I still don't want you to thank me for spending time with Alexis. I like to. She's an amazing kid. And you thanking me—it's like you think it's a chore or something I don't want to do."

"That's what makes it so special. I've had other women try to get to me through Alexis. Dropping her notes at school, following her around when we're out to see what kind of ice cream she likes. It's just nice for her to have someone—a woman, besides Mother—who's there for her, and not trying to use her to get to me."

Kate laughed. "You're quite safe, I assure you. More like I'm using you to get to Alexis. And I already know her favorite ice cream, so no creepy stalking from me."

"Meredith's flying in tomorrow. She doesn't even know her favorite ice cream." Kate saw a sadness creep into his eyes.

"Her loss, Castle." But a sadness crept into her eyes, too. She'd met Meredith only once, but she couldn't imagine any parent willingly leaving their child behind. Especially if that child was Alexis.

She hated seeing Castle hang his head like that. She knew he was thinking he hadn't done well by his daughter, when the truth was, she may not have had the mother she deserved, but she had Castle and she was hardly lacking. She wanted to cheer him up.

"Hey. I found something for you while we were out shopping, but you can only have it if you don't make a big deal about it." Kate turned and reached for the gift bag under her desk.

Rick lifted his head in surprise. "You bought me a present?" Ooh, is it naughty?" Kate pulled the gift bag onto her lap. "Never mind, bag's too big for it to be decently naughty."

"Decently naught, Castle? How can anything be decent and naughty?"

"Happy to clue you in, Detective."

"Only decent, Castle? I'll have to lower my expectations."

"Glad to know you're thinking about it, Beckett," he teased.

"Do you want this or not?"

"You know I do," he said, intentionally misinterpreting her.

Kate threw the gift bag at his head.

"So, what is it?"

"Why would I tell you? Especially when you're a surprise-loving kid and discovery is imminent?"

"Imminent, huh?" _So hot._

"Just look in the bag." Kate leaned back to watch him. He moved the tissue paper out of the way and lifted the fuzzy, green ball out of the bag. He began to turn it over and the moment it dawned on him, she knew.

First he chortled. Then he tossed it up in the air only to catch it and pull it to his face, laughing into it to suppress a belly laugh. "Where did you find this?" He nearly squealed, tears seeping out the corners of his eyes.

Kate grinned enjoying his reaction. "Oh, I know people who know people."

She looked over to Ryan and Esposito who were heading to her desk with Lanie coming up behind them. She realized it was almost time for lunch, and they were clearly wondering what was up.

They stopped at the edge of Beckett's desk with questioning eyes turned toward Castle, the discarded gift bag and the stuffed ball he was holding. He held it up, turning the red pimento toward the boys.

"Look, Guys. A stuffed olive." He laughed.

Neither laughed. Esposito crossed his arms and tilted his head to the side.

"He gets presents?" Ryan asked, turning to Beckett.

"Yeah. It's not his birthday." Esposito followed up.

"Just proving a point."

"This is totally going behind the bar. Free martinis to those patrons who can appreciate a little phrenic humor." He looked pointedly at Ryan, Esposito and Lanie. "That means you're out."

"We already get free drinks." Esposito pointed out.

"And I laughed on Sunday."

"At _me_." Kate stressed. "I told you it was funny."

"You're using Castle as your measuring stick?" Lanie asked.

"Trust me. I've got a lot to measure by." Castle said.

"Castle, bro, filter."

"Yeah, man. We talked about this." Ryan backed up his partner.

"Right. Lunch then?" Castle asked, shoving the stuffed olive back into the gift bag, still smiling.

Kate grabbed their case file and they all walked to the elevator. Within minutes, Castle was speaking again, and Kate was wondering why the boys had bothered wasting their breath trying to get Castle to implement a filter. Anyway, she was glad he was back to flirting a bit today. She'd missed it.

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><p>The restaurant was only a couple of blocks away, so they walked, hoping the overcast sky wouldn't open up on them. It was still early when they arrived, so Remy's wasn't busy yet, and they snagged a corner booth without having to wait. Ryan slid in first with Lanie on his right and Castle on his left. They placed their orders and immediately started grilling Ryan for wedding-related details. The boys planned their next poker night and Castle showed off his latest app.<p>

When their burgers arrived, Kate passed Rick their drinks while teasing Esposito about his best man duties. She set both their plates down, with Rick's a little closer to hers than was normal. She rotated her plate so that her fries were closest to Rick's plate. Then while, Rick was pouring sugar packets into her tea, she took the pickle from his plate and bit into before setting it back on her own.

While Rick was stirring Kate's tea with his spoon and asking Lanie if what he'd seen on _CSI_ was really possible, Kate was peeling back the bun on Rick's burger and using her fork and fingers to remove first the tomato, which she set aside on her plate, and then the pickles, which she added to her burger. Then Castle, who had already opened straws and put them in their drinks, was handing Kate the catsup—which she applied to the burgers and dolloped onto their plates—while he salted their fries. Kate handed the catsup back to Rick, and he set it at the end of the table with the salt and other condiments. They each picked up their bun tops and replaced them on their burgers.

The two were so in sync, they never missed a beat, even while talking the whole time. Burgers in hand, poised for a first bite, they looked at their friends across the table. Finding three slack jaws and six eyes on them, the asked in unison, "What?"

But the three across the table had no real response. Lanie just stuttered "Na-na-nothing," though she looked a little sad, even as she smiled. One of the boys uttered, "Damn," but no one was sure what it was in reference to. Instead, Lanie, Ryan and Esposito sat, wondering when the two had gone from finishing each other's sentences to whatever this was and why didn't they pounce on it?

Confused as to why the mood around the table had gone from jovial to reticent in a matter of minutes, Kate pulled out the case file determined to make something make sense. "Maybe it's the weather_?_" she thought as the restaurant visibly darkened and the heavens opened up.

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><p>Can I just say? I never started this looking for review, it was more for me, to get this out of my head and I hoped that others would enjoy it…but your reviews mean so much. Also, I'm a little disturbed at how easily some of you came up with creepy ways to kill people. I guess it's good motivation to keep writing stuff you like…and remain anonymous! :o)<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

**Wow! You all really loved that scene at Remy's! My goodness! And I am so happy you did because that is one of three scenes that compelled me to create this story. Needless to say, I'm psyched! This chapter isn't as good, but I hope you like it anyway. **

**Enough about me…who hates cliff hangers? **

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><p>Chapter 19 – Stuck in the Rain<p>

Chasing a suspect through a torrential downpour, especially when said suspect clearly knows the system of urbania back alleys far better than she does, is not Kate's idea of a good time. When they returned to the precinct after lunch, Kate sent the boys to the gym they learned about, while she and Castle headed to the one that showed up in his financials. They were asking the front desk clerk of the dingy gym if he'd seen the man in the photo, when Castle caught sight of their suspect coming out of the locker room—which unfortunately opened out onto a back-entry landing.

Beckett immediately set out across the padded gym floor, incredibly irritated when her heels sank lower on her first few strides. She quickly adjusted to run more on the balls of her feet. She reached the back entrance aware that Castle was right with her. She paused only briefly before stepping out into the alleyway. She didn't think their suspect had a weapon, but she knew better than to risk it. She looked down the alley to find his retreating backside, and took off after him yelling, "NYPD. Stop." She also called out his name, just in case he had somehow deluded himself into thinking they didn't know who he was. The only affect her words had on their suspect were to cause him to look over his shoulder and run faster.

As she ran after him, she called out their location and suspect's description on her comm radio. Luckily, their suspect had taken up body building, not long distance running. Kate was quickly gaining ground on the man who was clearly not too light on his feet. She knew Castle was behind her, but she was faster and couldn't wait for him.

Their suspect rounded a corner, to what Kate assumed was another alley, and she slowed slightly, fully anticipating he'd try to make some move, maybe try to escape into the building. So, she wasn't at all surprised when he lurched at her from behind a large pile of trash. He'd been hidden from her view behind a bed mattress propped along the wall as she walked by. What she was surprised by was the sheer force with which he knocked into her body as he grabbed her from behind.

With a few defensive moves including one well-placed mule kick running from his upper thigh to his knee, causing him to buckle slightly, Beckett broke free of his grip. She pivoted, intending to land her right knee into his spleen, but ended up parrying a punch that would have cold-cocked her had she not been prepared. Instead, the force of his punch and her block caused her own fists to slam into her face, cracking her lip and instantly bloodying up her nose. She squirreled back, needing to regain her footing, when suddenly the man in front of her was toppled over.

Castle. He waylaid Li with such force he threw them each into the side of the brick building. Castle, somehow, landed on top and was up first. He landed two blows to Li's head, which was already badly scraped from hitting the brick wall. With his next two, he yelled "You don't" and "hit women."

Beckett's immediate thoughts of protecting Castle took a temporary hiatus, her concern now was for their suspect who was quickly becoming a victim of Castle's rage. She moved, quickly shoving Castle away from Li. In moments, she had handcuffs on their suspect and was telling him, "Blake Li, you are under arrest for the murder of Mailin Chen." She voiced his Miranda rights, and pushed him down to lie prone on his chest, but more comfortably than his previous position—half propped on the brick wall—had been. She told him in no uncertain terms to "Stay."

She approached Castle, pushing him into a doorway.

"What the hell were you thinking, Castle?"

"WHAT? That little wanker just clocked you and you want me to stand by and watch? Sorry, Detective, but even without daddy around, I know you don't hit a woman and you don't stand by and watch."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the napkin he'd brainstormed on earlier.

"Castle, when we are out here, I am a not a woman. I am an officer of the law. Highly trained, I might add, in self-defense and take down. Neither of which you are versed in." He pressed the napkin to Kate's lip.

"So, what, I'm just supposed to buy ring-side tickets? Bring pop-corn?" He was wiping blood away from Kate's upper lip.

"No. But maybe you could think a little about how your actions reflect on me. And on the department." Kate reached up to hold the napkin in place.

"What? How does this reflect poorly on you?"

"Think about it Castle. What happens when this gets out? I can handle myself, and I don't need anyone thinking otherwise."

"No one thinks that, Beckett. Everyone knows you can kick any of their asses, definitely my ass. We're partners, I'm supposed to have your back."

"It's not just that, Castle. You cannot use excessive force. You're not even supposed to be apprehending suspects."

"Technically, I didn't. Can't even."

"Still, you're supposed to be shadowing me. _Me_, Castle. Using excessive force is against our code of ethics. And think about when I document what happened in the case file, Castle. The minute Li's lawyer finds out you—a civilian—assaulted his client, you're going to have a lawsuit on your hands, and our case is going to be in jeopardy."

"Beckett, this is all worked out on paper. And even if I were a passerby who stepped in, no one could blame me."

"I just don't think we need to be poking holes at this partnership. This wasn't Lockwood, Castle. It didn't call for that kind of reaction."

"I just saw him hit you. Saw red, and then…saw more red. I was afraid he broke your beautiful nose."

"Noses aren't beautiful, Castle."

"Yours is." Castle put an arm over Kate's shoulders and leaned in, until his forehead was propped on hers. "If I say I'm sorry, will you forgive me?"

"No need, Castle."

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><p>Kate walked out of the interrogation room, and tossed the case file onto her desk. She had her confession. Castle had his story. They moved to the murder board, ready to put what little they'd accumulated back in the file. They paused a moment at Mailin Chen's photo. The reason Li gave for killing her was deplorable: "She was gonna leave me." <em>How could he not realize that leaving him was an entirely rational move? After all, he was willing to kill her!<em>

It was 5:30 when Kate finally clicked off her monitor. She stretched, aware that her 14-hour day was catching up with her. Castle put his phone away and turned to look at her, fully appreciating her stretch, but not leering.

"Long day, huh?"

"Yeah. But it's not often we get the call and get our guy in the same day. I'm glad her family didn't have to wait."

At this, Kate subconsciously reached for her necklace. Then she patted her hand flat across her chest. The suddenly she was standing, her hands patting her chest, gripping her breasts, and then flattening across her stomach. In another moment, her hand dove into her button down.

"Whoa! Beckett, not that I don't appreciate the show, but…"

Kate was untucking her shirt, cramming her hands in the waistband of her pants.

"Kate?"

She was on her hands and knees, looking around her chair, under her desk.

"Kate? What is it? What's wrong?"

She raced to the interrogation room, Castle close behind. She checked the floor. Then slowly she stood, realization dawning, tears streaming down her face.

"My mother's ring, Castle. It's gone. When Li grabbed me. It's gone." She barely choked out the words, and she was hunched over. The loss was physically painful to her. She knew now, exactly when the chain had scraped across her neck.

"It's okay, Beckett." He was hugging her now. "We'll go. We'll go now. Maybe we can find it." Castle led her out of the room. Thankfully, the bullpen was empty; Kate didn't have to worry about Ryan and Esposito—or anyone else—seeing her emotional struggle. She headed straight for the elevator.

Castle stopped at Beckett's desk. He grabbed her purse and her still wet coat. He hoped it wasn't still raining, but his hopes were dashed when they stepped off the elevator. It was a steady sprinkle. He guided Kate to his car, glad he'd driven. As Castle drove, Kate hoped against hope that her mother's ring was still there.

They parked and walked along the same path they'd walked with the officers who arrived to help escort Li to the precinct. In the alley, where Li had grabbed her, they both searched, Castle on his hands and knees. Kate looked along the wall and in the doorway she'd shoved Castle into. Castle, looked through the trash strewn along the wall on the other side.

"Kate, I don't see it here. Anywhere," he said, slicking his wet hair back. "Maybe we should check back from where we came." He knew it was far less likely they'd find anything there. There was a lot more foot traffic near where they parked.

Kate nodded reluctantly. The walked slowly through the rain, heads down, eyes down, appealing to the gods that something shiny would glint and catch their eyes and be exactly the thing they hoped to find most. Castle was still walking, getting close to the building where he knew they loaded Li into the back of the Officer Baumann's cruiser. Realizing Beckett was no longer beside him, he turned back to find Kate sliding down a lamppost.

He went to her, wanting to comfort her, but also not wanting to touch her. Her shoulders heaved with her sobs and he knew, more than anything, she did not want him to see her like this. She didn't want him to see her tears, her weakness.

"It's hopeless, Castle." She never raised her head, never looked at him.

"Nothing's ever hopeless, Kate." He reached out, putting one hand on her shoulder and the other on the hands that were holding her knees to her chest. "Let's just get you home. You're soaking wet for the second time today." He pulled Kate to her feet, but didn't let go of her hands.

He was disappointed when she shook her hands free, but then she took a step forward and reached her arms up to wrap around his neck. She hugged him tightly.

"Thank you, Castle, for bringing me here, helping me look."

Castle felt her cheek move near his ear as she spoke into her arms, and thought, he'd really had no choice. He just pressed his hand to her back, feeling her body jerk occasionally as she strove for control over her body-racking anguish. Castle felt a bit guilty for savoring a moment that was for her a grim spectacle.

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><p><strong>I appreciate all your feedback and try to respond! Also, since I've had a few comments and messages wondering about me, I finally posted a profile if you want to check it out. <strong>

**The one that amused me most? From starophie, who asked if I'm British. Why'd it amuse me so much? Because I had just changed "little wanker" in this chapter to "Elephant arms." After that, I just had to change it back to "little wanker." (o:**


	20. Chapter 20

**Took me a while to get this chapter and the next where I wanted them. Still working on the next one, but wanted to get this one up. (Actually, this one just started getting too long, so I tried to break it up a bit to allow me to get this to you sooner.)**

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><p>Chapter 20 – First comes love<p>

Castle pulled up to park alongside along the curb opposite Kate's apartment building. They hadn't spoken during the ten minute ride back to her place. No music. No touches. No tears. Just silence as Rick drove and Kate stared out the window.

Rick popped the trunk and reached in to grab his bag. He'd taken to keeping spare clothes in his trunk as well as at the precinct—a habit he'd picked up from Beckett that he was very much appreciating at the moment. It was only misting now, but he was thoroughly soaked, so it didn't matter. He went around to the passenger side, a little surprised that Kate hadn't leapt from the car's confines seeking escape. He opened the door and lightly touched her shoulder.

"Come on, Kate."

She stood, and allowed him to guide her to across the street, to the elevator, into her apartment. Once inside, she walked, stopping in the walkway between her counter and couch. Castle stepped into her hall bathroom to change out of his wet clothes, thinking Beckett would do the same.

Kate, though, was suddenly struck by how little of her mother there was left. When she'd died, it hadn't made sense to keep her clothes, so they'd been donated. When her father moved, more things had been donated. She'd been so angry with him when he decided to leave the townhouse she'd grown up in—where they'd all lived and been happy together. It was the one time she could remember her father yelling at her after her mother's death. _She wasn't the one living there with the ghost of Johanna Beckett. She wasn't the one that retired each night to room they once shared. She wasn't the one who still reached into the cupboard for two coffee mugs each morning. It was too big, too empty._ She'd been angry, but she had to admit, it had been a turning point for her father.

Johanna Beckett hadn't collected things, so there wasn't a lot that was meaningful to save. Sure, Kate had Christmas ornaments she'd made for her mother and pictures she'd drawn that her mother had saved. She had photos, of course, a metal bookmark engraved with "Johanna," and many of her mother's books. She had emerald-colored salt and pepper shakers that her mother and her father had received as a wedding gift. Her mother thought they were too pretty to use, so instead, they collected dust on a shelf. Still, her mother had saved them, so she did, too. Most of what she'd collected about her mother were stories, mostly told to her by other people. They helped fill in the gaps and she never tired of hearing about her mother.

But, the one thing she'd had that she knew meant something to her mother was that silver band with the small diamond solitaire. And now it was gone.

As a little girl, she'd begged her mother to tell her about the ring. "_First comes love, Katie." _She'd smile, tucking her little girl's hair behind her ears. "_One day you're walking alone, and the boy you've known your whole life starts walking with you. You might not even realize it at first, but then, one day, while you're walking, this boy you've known your whole life reaches out to hold your hand. You let him, and you keep walking, but you're walking together now. At some point, while you're walking, you look over, and realize that the boy who is holding your hand is now a man. And just when you start to wonder if he's ever going to let go of your hand, he squeezes it harder, and tugs you along with him." _

"_You keep walking. You have a lot of paths to choose from, but you find you want to walk them together. Somehow, you never get tired of walking and talking with one another. Then, late one afternoon, while you're out walking, he leads you to a spot on a hill. You see a blanket, a basket, a bottle of wine. He asks if you'd care to join him for dinner? You say 'Yes', of course. Your picnic dinner is perfect—except he forgot the wine opener. As you watch the sun set, he whispers to you, "You're the light that guides my path. My love for you lasts longer and burns brighter than the sun." He holds out an object between his two fingers, capturing the sun in its center. "Like the circle of the sun, my love for you is unending." He kneels in front of you and says, "I want this ring to remind you of that, Johanna, when you wear it." He never actually asks you to marry him and you never actually say yes, but you both know. Everyone knows. A few months later, you walk down the aisle. You both say "I do." And that, my dear Katie, is the story of us and the start of beautiful you."_

Castle stood watching her. Still no tears. He could see her trying to bottle things up, partition her pain away in a little corner where she wouldn't have to deal with it. But she was failing. He could see it. She was drowning in unshed tears.

And she looked as if someone had tried to drown her. Her clothes sagged heavily from her body. She hadn't moved to change. He watched her shiver again. She had to get out of those wet clothes.

"Beckett?" No response.

"Kate!" She jolted, and looked up at him.

"Beckett, you need to change. Take a warm shower. You're gonna get sick." She'd faded back into her thoughts before he finished speaking.

Castle stepped toward her quickly until he was standing right in front of her.

"I swear to God, Beckett, if you don't start getting out of those clothes, I'm going to help you."

Still Kate didn't move. He had to push her. He needed her to react. He couldn't handle her gloomy cataleptic state. _That's it_, he thought to himself._ Prepare to die Richard Castle._

He reached out his hands for her top button, not even trying to be gentle or discreet. Half way through her first button, Kate snapped to.

"What the hell, Castle? Get your hands off me!"

"I warned you, Beckett. Now, go change."

"Why are you even here?"

"I'm here to make sure you take care of yourself."

"I _always _take care of myself."

"Then go. Change."

""This is my house, Castle. Where do you get off telling me what to do?"

"Like I get off on telling you what to do."

"Then stop telling me what to do!"

"You need to calm down." _Yeah, that would really piss her off._

"Don't tell me to 'calm down'!" Beckett yelled, shoving at his chest.

"Fine! You want to scream? You want to yell? Have at it, Detective!"

"CASTLE!" Kate stepped toward him and reached out, looking like she wanted to slug someone or something. She wasn't going to hit him, she just wanted to shake him, maybe pound on him. Castle didn't know that though. He really thought she was going to hit him, and that it would be undeserved.

Kate watched him step back from her. She was appalled. She'd made Castle believe she was going to hit him.

"Dammit, Castle!"

Her anger boiled over. She turned to the counter, swiping everything from its surface. Her mail basket and all its contents scattered. Her glass from yesterday shattered. Her whole body tensed. Her hands curled into fists and she shook them violently in the air at her sides while screaming through her clenched jaw. And just like that, her shoulders slumped, and she stalked off to her bedroom.

_Success_, Castle thought. He set about cleaning up the mess Kate had made.

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><p><strong>Well? What say you? I'd be happy to know if you like the momentum, pace, etc., if you have the time. Thanks for reading!<strong>


	21. Chapter 21

**This one's quite long. More getting into Kate's head. Why she's so conflicted. Some Castle-flavored entertainment to make her smile.**

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><p>Chapter 21 – Not so alone<p>

When Kate emerged from her room, she saw Castle sitting on her couch. She wasn't surprised. She knew now he'd intentionally goaded her. She hadn't even realized she was being played until she was alone, in her room pulling on her warmest sweatshirt. She hadn't bothered with the shower.

She sat on the couch next to him. He wondered if she'd say anything, but, she didn't. He wondered if he should apologize, but he didn't.

"Do you want me to call your dad? Have him come over?"

"No."

"You shouldn't be alone. He'd want to be here."

"He left this morning." He'd called earlier, but she hadn't answered. Besides, they were busy with a case.

"Left?"

"Went to Atlanta with Sheryl to meet her family. Visit. Won't be back 'til next weekend."

"On Mother's Day?"

Kate didn't answer, but she pursed her lips and looked at him. The way she quickly raised her eyebrows, challenging him to say anything else, told him clearly that this is what she'd been upset about when they came out of his office the other night.

"How 'bout Lanie?"

"No, Castle. She doesn't even get along with her mom. Kinda hard to relate."

"Josh?" he suggested with a tightness in his chest. _Damn._ Offering him up as Kate's comforter was hard.

"No, Castle. I don't really want to be around anyone right now. Just left alone." She wasn't mean when she said it. She wasn't even looking at him. In fact, as she leaned forward, elbows on her knees, she wasn't really looking at anything. She looked absentminded, but he knew her mind was raging.

He debated for a moment. He didn't really want to leave her alone. _He_ wouldn't want to be left alone, but he never wanted to be alone. Beckett was different. Not clingy. Independent. Used to working stuff out on her own. If he stayed, he would hover and coddle her. And given the day, no, the _week_—no, the _month_—she's had, she probably still wanted to fight. Anything to keep from crying.

He came to a decision. As much as he really wanted to be there for Kate, he truly believed she wanted to be left alone. And, for once, he didn't want to invade her space. And he certainly didn't want to be on the receiving end of a tongue lashing—or worse another week's worth of the silent treatment. That hadn't been fun. He'd intentionally made her mad before just to spur her into action. If she got mad at him this time around, it would be because he cared. He wasn't ready to sit at that table, knowing he couldn't show his hand, couldn't go all in. So he folded.

Castle scooted forward on the couch so he had a better view of Kate's face.

"Will you at least call me if you need anything?" he asked as he started to move off the couch. The question came out very much like a heavy sigh.

Kate's eyes snapped to his. "I didn't mean that you should go."

_That's odd._ Rick's brow curled in confusion. He could have sworn Kate said exactly that he should go, that she wanted to be left alone.

"Are you asking me to stay?"

Kate turned away from him. He could have sworn her jaw tightened a little. _Is she mad at me for trying to respect her wishes?_

"No."

Kate picked up the remote and punched the TV on. She started flipping through the channels. She paused on the news, but when they said "was killed today," she quickly flipped it. She stopped on _ESPN_ where two analysts were discussing the Yankees' offense, but when it went to commercial, she kept moving. When she landed on a recast of _Temptation Lane_, Castle watched as the corners of her eyes tightened. She closed her eyes slowly and brought her eyebrows up, stretching her eyelids as far as taut as they could be. It was an odd, but effective way to keep unwanted tears at bay.

Rick didn't know what to do or say. He consciously decided to do nothing, except return to the more comfortable position.

"I'm not going to fall apart if you go."

"Will you if I stay?"

Kate looked at him, confused.

"It's okay to cry, Kate," he said gently.

"What are you talking about?" she replied in irritation. "I've been crying for the last two hours."

"No. You've been trying not to cry. What you need is a good, old-fashioned bawl-fest. Let it out instead of bottling it in."

"I shouldn't be crying over it at all. It's just a ring. An object. It's materialistic and that's not me."

"If that were true, I might agree with you, but we both know it's not just a ring."

"So, you think it's worth losing my mind over? I mean, my God, I was just throwing stuff at you a half hour ago. In the last couple of hours, I think I've been through all the stages of grief except hope and denial. Pretty hard to deny. Over _a ring_, Castle. Any you think that's normal? God, I wish I could live in your fantasy world."

"I think you have every right to be upset and emotional." He could tell she was still fighting it.

His words reminded her of last weekend, and she groaned.

"Between this and zoning out during dinner last weekend, you must think I'm completely neurotic."

"No, Kate. I've just read enough comics to know that even superheroes need to shed their masks sometimes. Share the weight of the world."

"Flawed only in that I'm not a superhero."

"Debatable." He was serious. "But you are definitely a woman. And I know from personal experience, you need a good cry. Preferably followed by chocolate ice cream."

"Castle…" She didn't really have anything to say.

Rick shimmied his shoulders back and forth. "Well practiced shoulders," he said, nudging Kate with one. "Worn in by Mother and Alexis. Trust me, Detective, I can take it."

"I don't want to cry. I mean _really_ cry. It solves nothing. I don't want to be weak."

"Come on, Kate. Royce. Your dad dating. Losing your mother's ring. You know I won't think any less of you."

Kate didn't say anything, but he could see she was still fighting the churn of emotions.

"At least let me give you a hug."

"Can't, Castle." She said with a scratchy voice. He watched her lip quiver.

"Why not?"

"Because if you hug me," she choked out, 'I'll cry." But her tears already escaping.

Rick reached out and pulled her into his arms, cradling her head against his chest. And Kate let him. She more than let him. She welcomed his embrace, collapsed into, and cried one of those soul-cleansing cries. She cried for Royce and her guilt over letting her friend die alone, not having forgiven him. She cried over her dad and her guilt at not being able to be happy for him. She cried for being envious.

But mostly, she cried for her mom. Since the days immediately after her death, no one had ever held her while she cried. Instead, she was always cried over her mother, alone, in her room, with a pillow muffling her agony. She cried for her loss, for the things she couldn't remember and the things she could. She cried because of how good it felt to finally have someone there for her. And when she realized, again, that it was Castle, she cried just a little bit harder because she still hadn't figured out how to reconcile her feelings for him with the reality that they weren't.

Kate wasn't sure how long he held her there. She just knew that she'd groused, "God, Castle, I feel so alone." He' whispered in her ear. "Shh, shh. Kate. You're not alone, Kate. You're never alone. I'm here. I'll _always_ be here." He'd wrapped his arm tighter around her head, and she thought pressed his lips to her head. She wasn't sure. But he continued to murmur to her.

"You're okay."

"It'll be olay."

"Just let it out."

All the while, she gripped his shirt, while he rubbed her back, stroked her hair and helped her breathe. Somehow, he'd even procured Kleenex. She was sure that box hadn't been on her side table earlier, but, as her breathing began to go from the shallow, ragged breaths that ordinarily accompany grief, she became aware of the mountain of used tissues that had grown in his lap. Kate stayed where she was as her tears finally subsided. Still, she made no move to move away from his embrace. The only shift in her position was to release his shirt and drop her hand from his chest to his waist, where she unconsciously hooked her thumb through his belt loop.

Kate stayed there, in Rick's arms, for a while, not saying anything. Not even overthinking the position she found herself in. After soaking—and probably snotting—Rick's shirt, she knew she should probably feel embarrassed. But for some reason, she felt unashamed. He'd allowed her to completely unburden herself on him, quite literally. She had nothing to give him in return, so she offered him the only thing she could: a small smile.

"I told you, Castle," she said, tapping his chest. "Completely neurotic." Her voice had a hint of humor to it.

"Naw. I'm thinking more like Hot Mess." He double-flicked those cocky eyebrows at her. Then he squeezed her with his arm and pulled out his phone. Clearly, a thought had suddenly popped into his head. "Hey, maybe that can be your new ringtone, you know, since Alexis stole yours."

"Alexis didn't steal it, and you cannot make that your ringtone."

"No?" _Why not? It's true. Except he's way past falling._

"No."

"Okay, well…" Castle kept his arms wrapped around Kate as he scrolled through his ring tones app. It sent him new ones every day and categorized them. "Here's one." He hit PLAY.

The lyrics to _You Make Me Smile_ sounded from his phone. Castle looked at her, and he was smiling.

_Good choice, _Kate thought._ Should be my ringtone for you. _Kate tightened her arms around him. "I'm flattered, Rick, truly. But what else you got?"

This time he snickered before he hit play again.

_You think I'd crumble / You think I'd lay down and die  
>Oh no, not I<br>I will survive  
>As long as i know how to love  I know I will stay alive  
>I've got all my life to live  I've got all my love to give  
>and I'll survive<br>I will survive_

"Ah, no, Castle." But she laughed.

"What's wrong with that one? Too true?"

"True, I hope. I was gonna say too jarring. Would you really want that screaming at you every time I call? And when I call to tell you we've got a dead body? Too weird. Anyway…you really want to wake up in the middle of the night to that glaringness?"

"All good points." He kept scrolling. Kate glanced down at his phone, but the angle made it hard to read, but she could make out some. She saw him pause a while at _Soul Sister_ and later _My Girl_. She stopped watching. She didn't want to see what he was rejecting and she didn't want to wonder why.

"Hey, how 'bout this one?"

He hit play again. No lyrics, but she recognized it as a circus melody. It was upbeat, fun. She liked that he'd think of it for her. Simple, too. No one could read into it. She was about to tell him it was a good choice.

"No, wait. Perlmutter already has this one."

"Perlmutter has his own ringtone?"

"Detective, _everyone _gets their own ringtone."

"Still, you gave Perlmutter a circus ringtone?"

"You know how I appreciate irony."

"If you're creating the irony just to point it out when he calls, doesn't that make it satire?" She raised her eyebrow at him again.

He loved it when she did that.

"Well, yes, but, if I pretend I didn't write the story, it's still just ironic."

"What are the guy's ringtones?"

"_Macho Macho Man_ and _Rock This Town_. 'Course they both hate 'em. Ryan's 'cuz it's a joke. Esposito's—well…come on! It's funny!"

Kate laughed. "It's cruel. You better pick something nice for me."

"Oh, you mean like this?"

_Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts.  
>There they are a-standin' in a row.<br>Big ones, small ones, some as big as yer 'ead!  
>Give 'em a twist, a flick o' the wrist,<br>That's what the showman said._

Kate laughed heartily—very amused, but not entirely shocked that Castle would think of applying the Monty Python song to her. "No, Castle! Please that really would be cruel."

"Wanna hear Lanie's? I had to customize it a bit." Then she heard something familiar from the _Wizard of Oz_.

_Ding-dong the witch is dead [Munchkins]_

_Let the joyous news be spread [Glinda, the good witch]_

_As Coroner, I thoroughly examined her  
>And she's not only merely dead,<br>She's really most sincerely dead [Coroner, obviously]_

"Really, Castle?" She was laughing so hard she had tears coming out of her eyes and her gut hurt. "That's too funny! Does Lanie know?"

"Uh-uh."

"Oh, she has got to hear that. She'd love it. She loves the _Wizard of Oz_. Heck, that ringtone should come standard with calls from Lanie.

"Sure. I can send it to you if you want it. But, I still don't have a new ringtone for you. And since you keep turning down everything I suggest…"

Kate thought for a moment. The songs might make sense, but she was still confused. She had her arms around a man other than her boyfriend. He'd seen her cry her eyes out like no one else before. Proof was in her still puffy eyes.

"How about _Big Girls Don't Cry_?" she suggested with a wry smile. "It'll be another Perlmutter."

"A Perlmutter, huh? Frankie or Fergie? And you better not say Fergie."

"Relax, Castle. I was thinking Frankie. You know, the chorus? But you're the only one who knows—and it better stay that way."

"Yeah, I could go with that. But next time, I'm going with my choice one or choice two."

Kate shifted. She leaned forward and looked back at Castle. His shirt was still wet. Poor guy had been wet half the day. Kate started to gather the tissues from his lap.

He grabbed her hands, "Really, Kate. I've got this." Kate flushed.

"You know I'm not going to be able to thank you for this?"

"And you never want to talk about it again. I got it. Don't worry, Detective. You letting me be here, trusting me, is—"

He was interrupted by the knocking at her door.

They both turned their heads toward the entryway.

"Your doc's got impeccable timing."

"You don't even know it's him. He normally calls first." She said, moving to the door. "Could be Lanie or my neighbor."

Castle stood up. Nope. That clenched gut? He knew it was Josh.

Kate checked the peephole. Josh. She was going to have to talk to him about this just showing up stuff. She touched her palms to her face before pulling open the door.

"Josh?" she asked as she pulled open the door.

"Kate? Have you been crying?"

_What do you think, Genius?_ Castle thought. He was already up. Moving to the entry to get his wet coat.

"That obvious, huh?"

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Come in." She gestured. She turned toward Castle with a slightly pained look, and mouthed "Sorry."

She hadn't wanted company outside of Castle, so she was sorry. And she knew Josh wasn't going to like him being here—again.

"Kate what's going on here?" Josh asked, immediately noticing Castle presence. They would have to pass each other in the hallway.

Castle was pulling on his wet coat. She knew it was to hide the fact that she'd been crying on his chest.

"Just a tough case, Josh." No way in hell was she going to tell him. And it was half true. She was a tough case.

"You know you can talk to me, right?"

"And you know I don't like to bring it home with me."

"Yet you bring it and _him_ home with you."

Kate looked up to see Castle grabbing his bag and slipping out her door. She knew he'd heard Josh.

"Castle, wait!" she walked past Josh, trying to catch the door before it shut. She hated how he was

always running whenever Josh showed up. He'd done the same thing with Demming. It was hard to figure him out.

She poked her head out the door.

"Castle." He turned on his way to the elevator. "Thank you."

"Anytime, Beckett."

Kate pulled her head back into her apartment and closed the door. She leaned there momentarily before taking a deep breath and turning to face Josh.

"Kate. I know it's your work, but I don't understand why he's got to be so involved in it? It's not just your work anymore, it's your life."

"We've been over this. He was there. And he cares about me. He's become a really good friend."

Josh ran a hand through his hair. "_I _care about you, Kate. _I love you._ I want to be the one who's there for you."

"Josh—I…" Kate faltered. _The L-word?_ "I…I'm not in a good place right now. And this…case…it's been emotional. And I've been up since 3AM. I don't—"

Josh cut her off, afraid to hear that she didn't love him. He put his arms around her, irritated when she stiffened. _God, she can be so damn frigid._

"I'm not trying to push you. I just want you to know I'm here, and I want to be here."

He felt her nod.

"I'm sorry. I know it's not what you expected when you came over, but I need a shower. And sleep. Will I see you tomorrow?"

_So, she obviously doesn't want me to stay. _"I have to work, but maybe we can work something out? And I'm leaving on Saturday. You're still welcome to come with me. My mom really wants to meet you."

"No, Josh. I'll probably end up working anyway."

"Okay." He kissed her goodnight, placing soft kisses on her eyes.

It irritated her that he drew attention to the fact that she'd been crying. Still, when she closed the door to her now empty apartment, she wished it was him that she missed. _Why, though?_

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><p><strong>So, I love knowing what you think! Helps keep me motivated! <strong>


	22. Chapter 22

**Hi all and thanks for the great reviews and follows and story alerts – but I especially love those reviews! Nice to know what you think of my work, you know?**

**Now, quick story. I was ordering lunch today when I saw an older couple walk in, staring adoringly at each other. Very cute. He had a hearing aid and she was definitely on the feeble side. But the way they looked at each other reminded me particularly of Kate & Castle in Slice of Death. Anywho… I asked them how long they've been married and the old man just grabbed my shoulder and said, "Fifty-four years, m'lady. And I still love her like the day I married her. More really." At the same time the lady, smiled and said, "Oh, he just loves talking about this." I talked with them for a bit. The secret? He said, "Just keep loving each other."**

**A little while later, he came up to where my husband and I were eating and said, "You really touched my heart today." And he wished my husband and me a long and blessed marriage. **

**Ladies and gentleman, I fell in love with an old man today! He so touched my heart, too. But, I'm a sap and I know it. But he is, too, I can tell!**

**Enjoy. Hope this story is well on its way to touching your heart! **

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><p>Chapter 22 – Enjoying the view<p>

Across the nation, a homicide detective typically sees an average of six new cases a year and spends the rest of their time on cold cases. In New York City, which averages between 500 to 600 cases per year, this figure nearly doubles. Add to that tight budgets and a small pool of qualified detectives to choose from and you've got a lot of homicides and not a lot of man power to dedicate to solving them.

This dynamic is part of the reason Castle was so fascinated with the way Captain Montgomery had structured his homicide team. They didn't operate as individual detectives, each trying to best one another's clearance rate. Instead, Captain Montgomery implemented a strong support staff and organized his unit into three homicide teams. Each team was made up of four homicide detectives—except for Beckett's team, which was only a pseudo team of four, if you counted Castle—and by now, they all seemed to.

Scott Reynold's team included his partner, Roselyn Karpowski (one of only a handful of other female homicide detectives covering the five boroughs) as well as partners, Rodney Shields (_Best. Cop. Name. Ever._) and Dan Koenig. The other team included Tony Choufani (the team lead, but retiring soon), his partner, André Concejal, and partners Ajay Sankar and John Coufer. When Castle had learned that "Coufer" was pronounced just like "Cuff her," he'd had a field day. He even tried for days to convince the Captain that making Shields and Coufer partners would make the gods smile in his favor for helping to align the universe.

It didn't work. Still, he couldn't resist yelling, "Shields, Coufer," whenever the two were together. Thankfully, they were good sports about it.

Whether you credited the collaborative nature of these teams, the reliable backup they received through the MEs and other video and lab techs or simply the skill that these detectives brought to their jobs, the 12th had the highest clearance rate in the state (64%)—even though each team saw 34% more new cases each year than any four detectives at other NYC precincts would ordinarily see. And though no one at the 12th was officially keeping score, records would indicate that Detective Kate Beckett's team had maintained the highest solve rate for a long while. It increased again three years ago and had stayed up.

This and the thought that the 12th deserved some sort of reward for what they did so well were the thoughts running through Castle's mind as he approached Beckett's desk to set her coffee there. He was looking around for her when she rounded the corner with an arm full of manila folders.

"Castle. You're here early. Two days in a row? What's up? Writer's block?"

"Nah. Would kind of defeat the purpose of having a muse."

"Muse, Castle? That's how we're going to start the day?" Castle just shrugged.

"Still why so early?"

"Got done doing what I had to do earlier than I thought I would."

"What were you working on? Anything to do with the scholarship? I know I haven't been much help this week."

"No worries. No, last night it occurred to me to make up some fliers for your mom's ring. So, I got some printed this morning. Not holding out a lot of hope, but maybe we'll get a hit?"

"Get a hit? We got a new case?" Ryan walked in. "Morning, guys."

"Hallo, Mate." Castle said, pulling off his best down-under voice. Beckett rolled her eyes.

"Hey, Ryan. No, not a new case. A lot of work though."

"The warrant for Nick Conat's emails finally came through, so you and Esposito get to comb through these." Beckett said slapping half the pile she carried to into Ryan's arms.

"_Great,_"Ryan said, drawling it out, walking back to his desk.

Beckett turned back to Castle after Ryan's interruption. She spoke lower now. "Fliers, huh? Good idea. I can take them later and put them up. I want to have another look. You know—not in the rain."

"I meant I already put them up. Looked, again, too. But, no dice."

"Castle, I wish you would have called me. I'd have gone with you."

"Well, you know I did actually think you might be exhausted and sleeping in a bit." It was true—she'd had to drag herself out of bed that morning.

"Well…it was sweet of you to look. And make the fliers. What did you put on them anyway? If you'd called, I'd have helped describe it. And helped put them up." He pulled a bright yellow folded up piece of paper from his coat pocket, and handed it to her.

"I figured you'd head out there today, but I wouldn't have been able to help then. Promised Alexis I'd take her to the airport to pick up Meredith."

Before Beckett turned away to sit in her chair, Castle was sure he saw something _anger? irritation? _light her eyes, but it was gone in an instant. Or he'd imagined it.

"Yeah, Alexis seems excited." She'd called Kate, running ideas past her, wondering what she'd prefer to do if she were Meredith? Kate had NO idea, and told Alexis as much. She tried, for Alexis, to imagine what the woman might like to do with her daughter, but in the end couldn't imagine how it would matter, so long as they were spending time together. Really, every idea Alexis had come up with sounded wonderful. She'd even decided to drag Lanie, maybe Josh—if he seemed interested, to The Cloisters Garden Tour that Alexis had mentioned.

"Must be hard on her, never getting to see her mom." Her voice seemed oddly strained. Castle wondered if the mom-talk wasn't a bit much?

"Maybe. Sometimes. But Meredith's the kind of woman you can only take in small doses—even for Alexis."

"Still, she's put an awful lot of time into planning this weekend."

"Yeah. We talked about that."

"You're still afraid Meredith's going to disappoint her."

"She says she wants Meredith to know she turned out all right, that she's an adult—or pretty much an adult, so Meredith doesn't have to worry about her needing anything from her. That's why it was so important to Alexis to plan everything herself, pay for it with her own money."

"Well, she did a fantastic job planning. Puts every other kid in NYC to shame."

"I know." Couldn't hide the proud papa grin if he wanted to.

Beckett unfolded the paper in her hands and skimmed it. The description was spot on. _Leave it to, Castle to get the details_ _right_. But, when she got to the bottom of the page, her eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"Castle!" she hissed. "You cannot offer a $10,000 reward for my mother's ring! It's nowhere near that amount."

"I didn't think you could place a value on items of a sentimental nature."

"That's not the point, Castle. I can't—"

"Don't even say it, Beckett."

Kate's shoulders slumped. "You keep doing these things for me, Rick, telling me not to worry about it and shrugging it off like it's no big deal—chalking it up to royalties or—like I somehow deserve it for letting you follow me around."

Rick started to speak, but Kate held up her hand, and with a great deal of sincerity and emotion edging her low voice, said, "I think we're way beyond whatever you think you owe me, and it's high time you realize that you're not a burden. We get as much out of you being here as you do."

Rick held her gaze, surprised that she didn't avert her eyes. He was shocked, and as much as he wanted to look away, to avoid having her know how much her words meant to him he could not. He couldn't even come up with anything quirky to inject some levity into the moment. Finally, he landed on a truth.

"Well, Detective, you'll be happy to know, I didn't offer this reward as Richard Castle, the author following Detective Katherine Beckett and earning oodles of money as a result getting to work closely with her. No, this compensation for a good deed is offered—anonymously, I might add—as Richard Castle, friend of Katherine Beckett."

"You do this for all your friends, Castle?"

"I would. No different than if you were Lanie or the boys."

"Really, Castle? With all the people you know? You'd be out of money so fast." She sounded a little exasperated, incredulous.

"No, Kate," he said shaking his head. Castle offered a wane smile, and quietly share: "I know a lot of people. I have very few friends. Fewer great friends."

Beckett couldn't believe him. He was so natural and effervescent when it came to people—and utterly surrounded. He thrived on attention and read people too well. He was too charming. Too wanted. "So it's an elite group? The mayor? Connelly? Patterson?"

"All poker buddies. Connelly's a good guy. Patterson's a sometimes rival, but we get on well. I wouldn't call either if I needed a hand moving, but we play poker, discuss plots. So friends, I guess, but it's not like we hang out, outside of poker. My friendship with the mayor is more…mutualistic."

"Mutualistic, huh?"

"Yeah, you know, you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours." This time, Castle did wriggle his eyebrows at Kate. She rolled her eyes and gave him a smirky scowl.

"Offer stands."

"And risk interfering with your special time with the mayor? No thanks!"

Kate looked back to the paper in her hands, her smirk fading. She didn't doubt that Castle would make a similar grand gesture if he thought Lanie, Esposito, Ryan—or any of his friends required it. _Nearly dying together? Kissing? Okay, so maybe it's not quite the same level…_ But she knew Rick would always try to help the people he cared about. What concerned her is that Castle felt he had to do these things. She didn't want him to feel like he had to buy their friendship—or that they could be bought. He should know they didn't care about his money.

Kate wondered if she hadn't started this? _Letting him bring her coffee each morning. Letting him put up money to find her mother's killer. Making a big deal about his Ferrari. The scholarship?_ And what did she give in return? What did she have to give? She couldn't help but feel that this friendship was too one-sided for her liking. She cared for Castle—that much she was clear on. How could she not? They'd been through a lot together and he'd been there for her, even when she didn't think she wanted him there. Yesterday was proof of that. And L.A. And so many other times. Somehow, she was going to show him that she valued him and his friendship. She'd already felt herself making subtle changes.

Castle watched her process the paper in her hand, what it meant, knowing she was worried about the reward.

"Kate, don't even think about the money. It had to seem significant in order for someone to call. But really to me, it's such a small amount—and I'm not being arrogant. Let's just hope someone finds it and picks up the phone—we both know how unlikely that is—but let's just agree to do a happy dance if it does happen, and if it doesn't, then the reward will be a moot point."

Kate looked at him, uncertain.

"Please, for me, Kate?" His plea was so earnest, and she didn't want him to disappoint him. _Be graceful._

"Okay, Castle, I'm going to let this go for two reasons. One, you're incredibly sweet and thoughtful. Two," she said, handing him a stack of manila folders, "we've got a lot of work to do—and this, will definitely benefit from your expertise."

Castle glanced at his watch, surprised at how much time had passed. "What are we doing today, Detective?"

"You mean what are _you_ doing?" she sent him a wicked grin. She was going to enjoy this.

Castle raised his eyebrows, questioning her.

"Rewrites, Castle," She nodded to the folders and stood up from her chair. She gestured him to it. "And, today, _you _get to do the paperwork."

"Detective, are you trying to pass your workload off on me?"

"Just putting you to good use, Castle. You type faster than me and speed read."

"You never let me before." His eyes were hopeful, but she could tell he was waiting for her to play a trick on him or tell him he was an easy mark.

"Need this out by noon."

"And what, my dear, detective, will you be doing?"

Kate lowered herself into Castle's chair, and leaned on her desk. She propped her chin in one hand and let the other cup its opposite elbow.

She winked at him and grinned.

"Just enjoying the view, Castle. Just enjoying the view."

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><p><strong>Drop me a line if you have time! Review are great inspiration! <strong>


	23. Chapter 23

**Wow. Here's a long one. Hope it tickles your fancy! **

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><p>Chapter 23 – Be my girl?<p>

Of course, Kate couldn't just sit there and stare. For one thing, she didn't get paid to do so, and, unlike Castle, she didn't have bottomless budget. For another, she'd have been bored out of her mind despite Castle's Angry Birds offer. So she sat, taking notes to type up later. As she did, she contemplated Castle and their unconventional partnership—not just how he could be so thrilled to do paperwork, but how far they'd come.

In the beginning, she'd been simultaneously flattered (not that she'd let on) and outwardly hell fired up over having a shadow—an annoying and annoyingly right shadow at that. He'd shattered every notion she'd had about her favorite author. She'd imagined him as insightful, pensive, bookish and, somehow, more demure than his fan sites portrayed. How could he write what he wrote and not be?

But upon meeting him, Kate had been embarrassed to realize she'd created a fantasy about the man she'd never met. And it was horribly off-base. He may have been some of what she originally thought. He was definitely insightful. Irritatingly so. She was good at her job and she didn't appreciate being discredited or shown up by the playboy author. It was almost worse than his impossibly ridiculous CIA and alien theories that distracted her team and didn't give due reverence to their victims.

That he oozed sex appeal was another given. She hadn't believed she could be so susceptible to it, but she'd been tempted. Her saving grace had been realizing he was just as cocky, arrogant and playboyish as he was described is the gossip rags. To make matters worse, all the things she disliked about him seemed exacerbated in her presence. Attraction, be damned! She wouldn't be Castle's conquest.

Having Castle back, having his friendship had helped her move past the hurt from last summer. It had been painful to watch Castle walk away with Gina, but that she was willing to break up with Demming was evidence that they weren't meant to be. And that Castle turned to Gina so quickly was evidence that she and Castle weren't meant to be. Maybe she'd been too late, but a little bit of hurt was better than a lot of hurt.

Kate now felt that they'd come full circle. Somehow, he'd become the person she trusted more than anyone. They had an easy banter. And she recognized the flirting for what it was: sometimes a distraction, sometimes a form of flattery—but he was no longer blatantly trying to get her in bed.

As she'd learned more about Castle, watched him with Alexis, and come to trust his promise of "Always," Kate saw in him the man she'd imagined him to be when she knew him only through his writings. Of course, this was occasionally tarnished by Castle's ego and the company he kept, but less so than when they'd first met. She even felt bad for him sometimes.

Kate stood and headed for the break room. Castle keyed in his last few lines, and went to say bye to the boys.

"'Kay, Guys! I'm outta here. Have a good weekend!"

Esposito turned around. "Whoa, Castle. Leavin' already? What's the matter? Can't handle a full day of real work?"

"You do realize I do my real job in my spare time, right?"

"Well, don't let us hold you back." Ryan quipped.

"Yeah," Esposito mused, "I wonder how many books you could get done if you weren't following around a certain someone."

"Research."

"Oh, is that all it is?" Esposito raised his eyes and looked from Castle to Ryan.

"Or could it be—"

"You're detectives. Half your job is research. How come when you do it, it's work and when I do it it's play time?"

"Touché."

From in the break room where Kate could overhear their conversation, she thought _Point Castle._

"Seriously, though. Madden? My place?" Ryan asked.

"Can't. Picking Meredith up at the airport."

"Deep Fried Twinkie?"

Whether it was disgust because she didn't want to think about Castle being such a tramp or something else entirely, something in Kate's gut coiled. But Lanie walked in the opposite door, so she tamped it down. She smiled at Lanie and then nodded out to the bullpen, letting her friend know she was listening in. Lanie grinned conspiratorially.

"Not in a long time. Seems I've lost my appetite."

Lanie watched as Kate's clenched jaw softened to a half smile behind her coffee cup.

"Mother's Day Weekend. She's here visiting Alexis. I'll be in the Hamptons all weekend." Kate had been in the break room a while, and the door was open. "_Alone,_" he stressed, knowing she could more than likely hear them.

"Too bad for you," Esposito said. "Me? I'll be spending the night with a totally smokin', Chica. Been seein' her a while, but I'm thinkin' I' gonna step it up tonight. Do something special."

Kate turned to her friend to levy her with an "I told you so" look, but Lanie looked absolutely crestfallen, even a little sick.

_Hey, Chica, whatchya doin' tonight?_ He'd asked her earlier, standing behind her, arms around her waist. _Nothing, Baby, I'll just be home. Alone._ He'd given her a little squeeze and then broke away before Perlmutter and Concejal came in.

"Alone."

"Lanie?" Kate put her hand on Lanie's arm.

"Now I know where I stand."

Kate wanted to hug her, but she knew her friend was too close to the verge and, like herself, wouldn't want anyone to see. Kate could hear Castle approaching. She knew his gait, the sound of his footsteps. She squeezed Lanie's arm once more, and urged her toward the door she'd come in.

"I'll bring dinner," she said before Lanie was completely out the door. Lanie nodded in agreement, but didn't look back.

Castle heard Kate and looked up to see Lanie retreating. It didn't take him long to catch up. But he knocked on the door jam, not sure whether Kate realized he was there.

"She okay?" he asked.

Kate just kept looking forward and shook her head no.

"Kate?" he said, getting her attention. "I have my phone, if you want to talk."

"'Kay, Castle. I'll see you Monday. Have a good weekend."

Castle looked like he wanted to say something more, but instead, said bye and headed for the elevator, where he immediately set to work on a pick-me-up surprise for Lanie. He wasn't above schmoozing the best friend—besides, he cared about Lanie, too.

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><p>Kate knocked on Lanie's door not too long after work. She'd run home to change, called Josh to tell him her plans—and that she wouldn't be able to meet with him before he left for the weekend. Then, she called Lanie to see what she wanted her to bring. She grabbed Chinese, a bottle of wine and Twizzlers and a bag of Peanut M&amp;Ms.<p>

"Come in. It's open." Lanie called from inside.

Kate opened the door and walked through. "Really, Lanie. You work with detectives and see dead bodies every day. Stop doing that!"

"I knew it would be you."

"You did not! It could have been a psycho standing outside your door!"

"Who says it wasn't?" Lanie teased from in the kitchen. She sounded more upbeat than Kate anticipated. Kate walked through the swinging door into the kitchen to find Lanie standing at the sink trimming flowers, working on arranging them in a vase.

"Secret admirer, Lanie?"

"No. These are from your boy."

"Castle sent you flowers?" Lanie noted she didn't deny Castle was her boy.

"Beautiful flowers at that." She said handing the card that came with them to Kate. _I know how you feel. Stay strong. –R.C. _

Kate looked up to Lanie, questioning what that meant. Figures Castle would find a way to cheer her up a bit.

"What exactly did you say to him anyway?"

"What? Nothing! He saw you walking out of the break room. I didn't say anything to him."

Lanie wondered for a moment if this was the truth. She wouldn't have if it was anyone other than Castle, but ultimately, she decided Kate was offended enough that she must be telling the truth.

"So, does everyone know about Esposito and me?"

"Lanie, you know I don't keep up with the precinct gossip. I only knew about you two because we all work so closely together and you're my best friend. And you would have told me if I hadn't figured it out."

"Maybe."

"What?"

"I don't know, Kate. You're his boss. Might have been weird. Thought about not telling you. Kinda wish you didn't know now. Wish no one knew." Lanie brought her arms around herself. "Do you think the whole precinct knows I've been dropped in favor of whoever this chick is?"

"Lanie, I don't know who knows, but you have nothing to be ashamed of. And Castle's right. You're strong. If people know—and I'm not saying that they do, they might talk behind your back, but they're not going to be so crude as to say anything to you. Just keep your head up. And ignore everyone else. That's how I got through last summer."

"But you didn't have to come in and see Castle every day."

"No. I didn't." That was true. The hardest part wasn't knowing he was gone, but that he was with Gina. She'd never admitted how much it hurt to Lanie. "But I still had to deal with the fact that I'd pushed him into the arms of another woman. It killed to watch him walk away with Gina." Kate's voice quiet, was raw with emotion. Not what she wanted to be talking about, but feeling Lanie needed to know she was prepared for a real hreart-to-heart.

"Wouldn't this have been easier to talk about then?"

"Look at me, Lanie. I can barely talk about it now. We weren't together, but it still felt like a very public, very humiliating breakup. I had reporters calling me." Kate hated admitting this, even to Lanie. "They sent me a package."

"What do you mean, 'They sent you a package'?"

"A package. An exclusive listing in Castle's Black Book. Complete with a credit-card sized membership card with a unique ID to log on to the private site and share my story."

"What?"

"I'm serious, Lanie. A couple months ago."

"They, whoever 'they' are, have their own logo, letterhead—everything. They were particularly interested in having me register and share my story because of Nikki Heat. They have Castle's side of the story, and they want mine."

Kate sneered, "I didn't even have the pleasure of sleeping with him—told him specifically after our first case, the Tisdale case, that I wouldn't be his conquest—and yet everybody thinks I've had sex with him."

"Maybe you should."

"What? Lanie! I have a boyfriend! I don't want people thinking I'm sleeping with Castle."

"Is that why you keep Josh around? So people won't think you're sleeping with Castle? Or is it so you're not tempted?"

"Lanie? Are we back to that? Josh says he loves me."

"Castle shows you."

"Lanie," Kate's warning tone was coming on stronger now, "we are friends. Neither of us is willing to jeopardize that. Not me. Not Castle."

"Whatever lets you sleep at night."

"Lanie Parrish that was low. When you're ready to be nice—and talk about something else, I'll be in the living room."

"Kate—" Lanie called, but she was already out the door.

Lanie took a minute to compose herself. She was angry and hurt and it wasn't fair to take it out on Kate. She dished up dinner and grabbed the wine and glasses before following Kate out the door.

"Girl, I'm sorry. That was cold. I'm a bitch." Kate just held out an arm, inviting Lanie to join her on the couch for a hug. Lanie leaned on Kate's shoulder, with Kate's arm around hers. "Forgive me?"

Lanie felt Kate nod and squeeze her arm across her shoulders. They sat like that for a while, until Kate felt her shoulder go moist. Lost in her own thoughts, she hadn't realized Lanie was crying.

Kate wasn't as prepared for tears like Castle had been, so she got up quickly to get a box of tissue. When she returned, she poured the wine and handed Lanie a glass.

"It's going to be hard, watching him be with someone else. Just knowing he's with someone else. I don't know how Castle does it."

"I thought we were going to talk about you and Esposito?"

"I think it's pretty obvious there is no Esposito and me."

"I thought you loved him?"

"I do." Lanie's face scrunched in pain. "But he's a big boy. He can decide for himself what he wants."

"So, let me get this straight. You trust Javier Esposito to decide what's best for him, but not me?"

"It's different. I don't know what Javi feels for this other woman, or vice versa. I haven't been privy to it."

"You haven't told him how you feel, have you?"

Lanie shook her head 'no.'

"But don't want to fight for him?"

"I couldn't handle being rejected again."

"Lanie—"

"And I won't stand in the way of his happiness—even if it hurts."

Kate nodded her understanding, and rubbed Lanie's shoulders.

They kept talking, about anything and everything. Sometimes coming back to relationship stuff, but they kept it lighter. Kate was struck by Lanie's strength. She'd never seen her so upset over a man, but yet so composed, so purposeful in her resolve to see him happy. Kate admired Lanie's strength and honesty, and hoped it would rub off on her. Still, she knew another kind of strength—the kind that held on to some semblance of always to keep the rash of pain at bay.

Half-eaten meals finished, Kate and Lanie were laughing at something on TV when they heard someone rapping on her door.

"What? Not just gonna yell 'it's open?'" Kate asked.

"I'm not expecting anyone."

"Want me to get it?"

"Nah, Girl. I got it."

Lanie pulled open the door, immediately crossing her arms and propped her hip against the doorframe, creating a barrier to entry. She looked him over. He was standing there, arms behind his back, in a too tight varsity coat. It was red, with white patches, pins and medals all over the place.

"Javier Esposito. What are you doing here?"

Ooh. She was mad. Javier wondered what was wrong? _Is she mad at me?_

"I, uh…I…"

"Spit it out, Detective Esposito. I haven't got all night, and I'm sure you have better places to be."

Esposito looked past her, seeing plates on the coffee table, and the TV flashing.

"Do you have company? You said you'd be home alone."

"What do you care, Javier? Why are you here? I thought you had a date?"

Esposito put his head down, but quickly decided he wasn't walking away without saying what he'd come to say.

"Lanie, I have spent the last few months dating every woman imaginable—"

"What makes you think I want to hear all the details about your dating life?"

"As I _said_, I've been dating. Like _you _wanted. Every woman—and all I'm looking for is some spec of you. She's not sassy enough. She doesn't have that spark, that bite or your big brown eyes. And I can't even dance with another woman 'cause I don't want to touch her and have it not be you moving under me. You didn't want to get serious, but I can't do it anymore, Lanie."

Lanie was a little slow to catch up. _Can't do it anymore?_ It hurt more to hear him say it.

Esposito pulled his hands from behind his back. In his left, he held a single red rose. In his right, his high school ring—a large sapphire flanked by symbols for baseball and wrestling.

"I'm sick of dating, Lanie. I want to go steady. Will you be my girl?"

Lanie finally caught up and started nodding furiously. She launched herself at Javier, tears running down her cheeks. Javier grasped her around the waist and lifted her, spinning them further into her apartment.

When Kate first heard Lanie say "Javier," she had walked into the kitchen wanting to give them as much privacy as possible. Now, she came out, wanting to leave, but not wanting to interrupt the couple—who couldn't seem to decide whether they wanted to kiss or hug. It wasn't until Javier caught sight of Kate that his hands stilled. He spun Lanie so that she wouldn't see the moisture in his eyes.

Lanie saw Kate over Javier's shoulder, and whispered something to Esposito. They both turned to face Kate, and smiled.

"If you could, uh, not mention that I'm a total sap when it comes to Lanie, I'd appreciate it."

Kate walked up to them and pulled them both into a hug, making Esposito freeze.

When she stepped back, she said, "Lanie deserves a total sap—and you fit right in with Honey Milk. But don't hurt my girl, Esposito, or I will make your life a living hell."

Lanie smirked. They both knew Kate would never be anything less than professional, no matter what happened, but she appreciated the threat.

Kate opened the door, after she stepped out, she tucked her head back in.

"By the way…nice coat." She flashed her eyebrows at the pair and walked away smiling.

Esposito realized he was going to be teased mercilessly.

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><p><strong>Reviews? Maybe a little love for giving you Esplanie? <strong>

**Even though Castkett is still a bit angsty? **


	24. Chapter 24

**Another long chapter. First part came easy, second part had a couple re-writes. Turned out longer than I planned, but hopefully it comes across well.**

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><p>Chapter 24 – Flowers<p>

"So, what was up with the varsity jacket?" Kate asked into her phone. After an early trip to the gym, she'd spent most of the day catching up on chores. Honestly, she'd expected Lanie's call earlier.

"Said he wanted to take me to his old stomping ground, to relive all his firsts with me. I tried to convince him it wasn't necessary, that we should just stay in, but…we didn't get back 'til four this morning."

"Well, knowing you're talking about Esposito that's…unexpected—and disgustingly sweet. But, I thought one of his firsts was in his room at his Mama's house on his Yankee's sheets?"

"Katherine Beckett—how in the world would you know that?"

"Came up at one of Castle's poker nights—you were there."

"Ah, well…I don't think we'll be recreating that one for a while, ''least not at his mama's house. His old room is now his nephews' room. Cute kids. Sponge Bob sheets, though. Not quite the same."

"So, where'd you end up then?"

"Took me to his high school for his first homerun. I mean 'homerun' literally. Not a euphemism. Took me to the elementary school near where he grew up for his first kisses. He was seven. Apparently, he lined up a bunch of girls and kissed 'em all in a row, one right after another. Ended up spending two days with the principal."

"So, you're saying he's always been a little _playa_?"

"Always, 'til now." Kate could hear the smile in Lanie's voice.

"So, what else?"

"Let's see. Then he took me to a basketball court outside his mama's apartment where he had his first real kiss. Turns out it's the same girl his cousin has a kid with, so…he forewarned me they joke about at family get-togethers, which—he invited me to Memorial Day weekend."

"Uhh, I hate the meet the family stuff."

"I've already met his mom and sister and her kids. They all live together. His mama's sweet—nothing like my mother. His sister's loud—"

"We've met. He brought his nephews in to the precinct once."

"Not surprised. Was kinda surprised at some of the places he took me last night. He got kinda serious. Drove me past where he watched his best friend, Marcel, get shot when they were 17. Said that's when and where he grew up. That moment. I don't know…you know about Marcel, right?"

"I know Esposito had to arrest him on drug-related charges when he was still an officer at the 54th."

"Yeah. Javi said his biggest regret was not being able to pull him out of that life. From there, he took me to the recruiting office. Says he walked in there intending to join up and never come back."

"Well, I'm glad he did."

"Me, too, Kate." There was a pause for a moment.

"Kate?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for commiserating with me last night, and I'm sorry about Castle, and some of the things I said."

"Thanks, Lanie. But things are good now."

"You're happy?"

Was she happy? Kate wasn't sure how to answer that. She held back from Lanie…from everyone, but she wasn't going to lie, not to Lanie, especially not after all she'd said last night. Funny…she still hadn't mentioned that she and Castle had kissed.

"I'm…happy for you."

"Girl, _I _know that and _you_ know that's not what I meant."

"It's a good answer to a complex question."

"You're off the hook for now because my man's waking up, but—"

"To be continued. It's you, Lanie. I wouldn't expect anything less. Just leave the torture tools at home. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Wait. You okay, for tomorrow?"

"Yeah, Lanie."

"'Cause you can call me, and you know I'll be there."

"I know, but I'm thinking I'll probably just want to be alone."

"Still—"

"I know. Thanks, Lanie. I'll see you Monday, okay?"

"Sure, Girl. Bye."

"Bye, Lanie."

Kate hung up, smiling because things were working out for her friend and she could hear the happiness in her voice. She looked around her apartment, wondering what to do. She felt restless, a bit discontented, but her apartment was clean and she didn't need groceries.

She thought of calling Maddie, but decided she wasn't in overly cheerful or reminiscent mood—and hanging out with Madison required a little more energy than hanging out with any of her other friends. Plus, she knew Maddie would invite her to dinner and then try convincing her to hit a club or two, and really—Kate wasn't in the mood.

She wondered if the fact that she was so often choosing to curl up on the couch with a movie or a book and a glass of wine meant rather than to go out meant she was getting too old for the club scene? But then she reasoned, no, it was just a downer weekend for her.

Plus, she was a little clubbed out as that seemed to be the one thing she and Josh managed fairly regularly—often with Maddie and her beau and sometimes with Josh and his friends. It was growing tiring. At first, she loved going to the clubs—well, anywhere with Josh—it was a bit gluttonous, but having that "Yeah, he's with me, Girls" feeling had made her feel incredible. And Josh seemed to send the same message to other men when they looked at her. And it was nice to have someone to dance with who could actually move.

But, lately, Josh didn't seem to notice when other men or women were encroaching on her space, and it bothered her. It also bothered her that she didn't have the same desire to send warning glances to the women looking his way. She chalked it up too being comfortable in the knowledge that he was going home with her.

Kate decided she'd call Madison to see if she wanted to go out with her and the girls next weekend. Funny how Lanie and Jenny had so quickly and easily become "the girls" in Kate's mind after Kevin finally introduced them to Jenny. Kate had a close knit group: Lanie, the boys—they were her co-workers, she was even the boys' boss—but she counted them among friends and family. Jenny, too, now. Kate had only recently reconnected with Madison, but they were friends. And then there was Castle. He was…not quite family, but, if she were honest, he knew her better than anyone—so _friend?_ _partner?_ It didn't matter; Caste was Castle.

Kate laughed inwardly thinking about the first time they'd all gone out together—Jenny seemed like the sweet girl next door—but she had a mouth like a sailor and the_ raunchiest _sense of humor. She was right at home in the gallows with Esposito, and she teased Ryan red faster than any of them could. When Kev saw the shock on their faces, he leaned forward with a mock whisper and said, "My mama warned me about those quiet, Catholic girls…thank God, she was right!" Then he fist bumped Esposito and Castle.

Kate laughed again recalling Castle's response. "So, Beckett," he'd said wonderingly, "are _you_ a quiet, Catholic girl?" before drawing his beer to his lips.

Kate had leaned in close to his ear, not really caring if anyone else heard, but not trying to prevent it either. She'd waited until he'd taken a sip and whispered warmly, "Oh, Castle…I'm _anything_ but quiet." He gagged on his beer as she allowed her body to graze his when she walked past him to the dance floor. She'd shuddered from the feel of him, but immensely enjoyed knowing he was sputtering his beer. Kate's neck tingled again just thinking about it.

When she was a newbie officer, Kate used to make time to connect with friends from high school and college, even the academy. But at some point, it got to be too much. Work was more important, but misunderstood. Eventually she lost touch with her old friends, which was okay with Kate because, just like Lanie was sometimes greeted with awkward fascination, Kate was regarded with pompous incredulity. Who could imagine _her_ as a detective, let alone a damn good one? And fewer understood her motivation.

Kate was looking forward to the girl's night out that Lanie and Jenny had planned—each had sisters who were a hoot that would be joining them. When the boys found out they were going to be on their own, Castle arranged a poker night. 'Course the last time the boys had had a poker night, they'd ended up playing video games all night. Boys and their toys.

_So much for not being in the mood for reminiscing_, Kate thought. At least they were good memories and keeping thoughts of her mom at bay. Kate picked up the phone to call Madison before she forgot.

"Kate! How are ya?"

"I'm good, Maddie. You busy?"

"When am I not?"

"I hear ya. Listen, we're doing girl's night next Saturday. I think Jenny said Junie's?" Kate liked Junie's—good music…more room to move than some other place. "Whatchya think?"

"Hey, you know I'm always game. Todd asked if I was going to want to go out though."

"He'll survive without you for one night—or send him with the boys. Castle's got a poker night going. I'm sure he'd be glad to take his money."

"Hang on—let me ask." Kate's intercom sounded. "Delivery for Kate Beckett" while Madison was talking to Todd.

_Delivery? _Kate walked over and pressed the intercom button. "Come on up." She grabbed her Glock from the counter, moving it to her waistband out of habit.

"Kate?"

"Yeah? I'm here."

"We're in. Todd says poker sounds like fun."

"Great. I'll tell Castle." _Oh. My. God._ The realization of what Kate had just done fully sank in._ I just did the total girlfriend thing and offered up my non-boyfriend as a date stand-in! AND I invited someone—someone I don't even know that well—to Castle's place—AGAIN!_

"I gotta go, Maddie—someone's at the door."

"'Kay, talk to you later."

"Bye."

Kate peered through the peephole. Seeing a young man holding a colorful bouquet, she pulled open the door.

The man handed her an electronic signature capture device and then exchanged that for the flowers.

Kate's first suspicion was that the flowers were from Castle, but she pushed it aside. _Why would Castle be sending her flowers and why would she be expecting it?_ Maybe it was the coffee mug that made her think Castle. The bouquet of magentas, purples and reds were arranged in a tall, stainless steel travel mug. Curious, Kate pulled the mini card from its post in the bouquet.

"_Because you're my bestie and I love ya, Girl! _

_Thanks. Sorry. Smile."_

Lanie. Kate thought. Kate snapped a picture of the flowers and texted her favorite ME.

**Thanks! They are bee-u-tiful! :o)**

Lanie's reply was immediate. _**Just speadin the love!**_

Kate parked the flowers on her counter where she could admire them from all over. The day was disappearing faster than she thought it might. She decided to head out to get some necessities—even though she wasn't completely out, she'd need laundry soap and TP and a few other things soon enough. It would help her kill off the rest of her restless afternoon.

Kate pocketed her debit card and ID, grabbed her bags and badge, and she was out the door. Even after being leisurely and opting for the market that was further away, but had better selection, Kate was back at her apartment in just over an hour. As she approached she saw a man standing there speaking into the intercom with a brown box propped under his arm and rather large lilac bush balanced on his knee.

"Hello?" he was repeating into the intercom. He tried another apartment as he waited. "Hello? I have a delivery for apartment 5C. Could you buzz me in?" No answer.

He noticed Kate. "Hello. I have a delivery for apartment 5C. Would you mind letting me drop this off?"

"I'm 5C."

"Detective Katherine Beckett?"

"I'm her," Kate said tapping the badge on her hip. She nodded to the bags in her hand. "Think you could help me carry it up?"

"Of course. I promised Rick door-to-door service."

So this was from Rick? _What am I supposed to do with a big bush?_ As they stepped into the elevator, she asked, "You know Rick?"

"Jack Ackerman." The man, looking as old as her dad, nodded her way. "I'm Rick's horticulturalist."

_Horticulturalist? _Kate's brow curled in confusion and the man chuckled, so she asked. "Why would Rick need a horticulturalist?"

"I suppose the same reason he needs a beautiful detective."

"Are you saying you're his…" God, she hated even saying it! "…inspiration?" she finished with finger quotes.

"No." He laughed outright at Kate's confusion. "Not that I wouldn't love to brag that my friends—but who'd buy it with this mug?"

He could see that Kate clearly didn't like being kept in the dark and was expecting a straightforward answer.

"Research," he said. "We met years ago when he called me out to his Hampton's property to diagnose his willow tree. Had a fungus. But we nursed her back to health. Good thing, too, she's a beauty—and there aren't that many left on the island. Then, he let my wife and I landscape the rest of the property. Gorgeous, it is."

The elevator to Kate's floor dinged. "What's this have to do with research?" Kate asked.

"Oh, I also helped him kill Desiree Stevens."

Kate recalled. "Storm Warning—the white baneberry?" she asked. "Highly toxic—nearly undetectable, unless you're looking."

"You got it."

"Glad you're not consulting with the real criminals. It'd make my life hell." Kate joked and paused, looking at her door, where a flower box was leaning against the frame.

"Birthday?" Jack asked.

"Uh, no." Kate opened her door and led Jack inside. He set the lilac bush down beside her couch and the package on it.

"Enjoy this," he said, heading toward the door. Kate assured him she would as she walked him to the door and retrieved the other flower box. Really, though, she had no earthly idea what she was going to do with a big lilac bush. _Could you even put those things in planters?_ The purple blooms poking out everywhere smelled absolutely divine, though, and had already infiltrated her apartment.

Kate carried the flower box to the kitchen, figuring she should probably put them in water. At the counter, she read the card.

_Babe, _

_I imagine tomorrow's got to be a pretty tough day for you. Just remember, I'm here for you._

—_Josh_

Kate slipped the silver bow off the long white box with a smile on her face. When she drew the lid off, her motions and emotions seized. Red roses peeked through the white tissue paper. Unbidden, images of red roses draped over her mother's white enamel coffin flashed before her eyes. She let the lid fall to the counter. _He couldn't have known. He couldn't have known, s_he repeated to herself as she dropped the lid to the counter and made her way to her couch, breathing evenly to calm her heart rate.

All day, Kate had been doing a good job keeping awful memories and bitterness from invading her thoughts. Absentmindedly, she picked up the package on the couch. Somehow, she knew this was going to have to do with her mother, but knowing it was from Castle, there was no presentiment of panic. No putting her guard up for fear of what was inside.

With a slightly shaky hand that she was glad no one else could see, she slipped the twine off the plain brown box and opened it up. Inside were gardening gloves, a handheld trowel, rake and hoe as well as a green pad that looked an awful lot like her cutting board, but was squishy. She lifted all this out until she found the envelope at the bottom. _Of course, he would hide it. _Kate unfolded the paper to reveal stationery with a beautiful Thomas Kincaid lighthouse scene faded behind Richard Castle's distinctive cursive.

_Dearest Katherine, _

_Hopefully, by now, the pleasant aroma of lilacs are invading those beautiful nostrils of yours. Close your eyes and inhale. _Kate did, wondering why she was doing as she was "told" in a letter. _Does it bring back memories of your grandmother's backyard? Maybe not for you, but I have it on good authority (your dad's) that it did for your mother._

_Lilacs, according to your dad, were your mom's "stop and smell the roses" flower. He says she used to drive with the windows down anytime she knew there was a lilac bush in the area. Whenever she smelled lilacs, she'd tilt her head up, close her eyes and breathe deep. (I picture her with a closed-lip smile that always ends with her lips just slightly parted right before she pops her eyes open to catch your dad watching her in awe.)_ Kate could, too. Rick always has had a way of painting a picture for her.

_Honestly, your dad went a little misty-eyed recalling the memory; I was a little embarrassed, but thankfully, he didn't seem to be. I wish you had been there, but I understand why you never asked yourself._

_So…lilacs…your mom's favorite smelling flower._

_But, as much as she liked those and the way they smell, your dad says her all-around favorites were peonies. More specifically, she didn't like the ones with just a few petals and yellow centers or the ones that were too "spiky." Her favorites were what she called "tissue paper" peonies. She loved the way they smell, the way they last, and how they seem to be a cross between a rose and a carnation. Her favorites were whites, creams and light pinks. Your dad says she carried pink and white peonies down the aisle._

Kate looked up to the photo on her bookshelf knowing what she'd see. Her just married mom and dad leaning against her dad's prized possession: his hunter green '57 Ford Fairlane convertible, with the classic lines and white racing stripe. Her mom stood in front of her dad, with his arms wrapped around her in a classic lover's pose. They were looking at one another, as if they'd just kissed or were about to. And in her mother's hand, resting on her dad's arm, was her pink and white bouquet.

Kate realized that her mother's favorites had been there, right in front of her, all along. She didn't bother doubting her sleuthing skills and why she'd never realized they were her mom's favorites. She just silently thanked Castle—and the fact that she'd at least taken her mother peonies before—mostly because she liked them, too.

Kate looked back to the letter from Castle. _So, sorry, Detective, but these lilacs aren't for you, they're for your mom. _

_Now, as I'm sure you know, the cemetery doesn't normally allow people to plant bushes like these because they spread so much, but this lilac bush is a special hybrid designed to grow not much larger than it is now. (One of Jack's specialties.) I checked with your mom's cemetery, and they're familiar with Jack's work, so they've agreed that you can plant this. And no, I didn't pull any strings or pay anyone off. I just had to register the plant (with a minor fee) and agree to remove it if, for some reason, it does spread. _

_Hope this brings you a small measure of peace and happiness, _

_Rick_

_P.S. Jack recommends watering this once tonight and once tomorrow just after you plant it. He says not to pack the dirt around it too tightly._

Wow. Kate's mind wasn't working much past that thought when her someone knocked on her door again. Feeling a little brainless, Kate went to the door. Pulling it open, she saw another bouquet of flowers, this time yellows, reds and oranges in a glass vase, decorated with a yellow ribbon. _What is going on?_ _Three bouquets and one lilac bush?_ Kate signed, and carried them back to her counter. She saw the envelope labeled "Katie."

_Dad,_ she thought. His message was a simple "Thinking of you. Love, Dad."

She called him. She wanted to tell him about the lilac bush anyway, see how he was enjoying Atlanta, but she got his voicemail, so she just left him a message thanking him instead.

Kate set about reheating one of the dinners Rick had packaged up for her when her intercom buzzed again. "Delivery for Katherine Beckett." Kate buzzed up the delivery man and waited. _Katherine, again?_ _Who could that be? _Kate pulled open the door.

"Jack? I don't think I have room for another bush. It's beautiful, by the way. Thank you."

"Don't thank me. Thank, Rick."

"Oh, I will."

"He also wanted you to have this." Kate looked, again it was a brown package, wrapped with twine.

"Okay. Thank you. Again."

'Don't mention it. Have a good night."

Kate carried the package in. Opening it along the way. Inside, was a bouquet of peonies, perfectly matching her mother's wedding bouquet. Kate found the card inside.

_Wouldn't want your mom to go without her all-time favorites._

_p.s. Fine out for a while, but might want to put in the fridge overnight._

Kate went to her kitchen to look for something sturdy to put them in, so they weren't just sitting flat on her counter. She had to smile at Rick's thoughtfulness—doing something for her mom. She wondered if her mom knew?

Kate went to her couch to eat the Castle leftovers. She knew baked pastas were quite often better as leftovers, but the spinach and ricotta stuffed pasta shells she was now enjoying were beyond delicious, and she was betting they started out that way. It was almost seven. _Wonder if Castle is busy?_

_**Thanks for dinner. **_

Kate waited. No reply. She was watching TV a half hour later when her phone chimed.

_Dinner?_

_Was in shower._

_**Stuffed pasta. Heavenly. You or Alexis?**_

_Ma-wah._

_**Where'd you learn to cook?**_

_Years of failed experiments. _

_**S'morlette?**_

_Law of averages…_

_**You know your CIA theories are never gonna pull through, right?**_

_Oh, ye of little faith_

Kate paused, shaking her head.

_**How are the Hamptons? **_

_Writing, spring cleaning, prepping…water's not warm yet_

_**Prepping?**_

_4__th__ of July. _

_**It's May**_

_Thank you, Ralph Wiggum_

_**Seriously? **_

_You prefer Captain Obvious? _

_**Over a nose-picking imbecile? Uh, yeah.**_

_**Duh.**_

_Won't be here for Memorial Day. Celebrating our Independence instead. Stay tuned for details._

_**I have a lilac bush in my living room.**_

_Are you just being a redundant, now?_

_**And ponies on my counter.**_

_Ponies, huh? _

_**Peonies, and you know it**_

_I knew you were being redundant, Captain_

_**No words. Thank you, Rick.**_

_Those are words. _

_You are welcome._

Kate's phone rang while she was typing up her reply. _Castle. _She normally wasn't much of a phone talker, but forty minutes later, she couldn't believe how much time had passed. She told him about her day. He told her all about his plans for his 40th, Fleet Week, the 4th. They talked about Alexis and Ashley, and Martha kicking him out of his own house for Mother's Day. He was a man in constant motion. If it hadn't been for someone knocking at her door, they may have kept talking. Instead, she bid him goodnight.

Kate opened the door. In front of her was the most beautiful Victorian-looking bouquet of peonies and lilacs she'd ever seen. They spilled over their bronze pedestaled urn, so high and thick she could barely make out the man behind the bouquet.

"Jack," she laughed. "Seems you're wearing a path to my door."

"Not to worry, Detective…I know my way back home."

"These are beautiful. Did you do this?"

"I grow them. The wife does the arrangements."

"She's very talented. Thank her for me. And thank you."

Kate took the arrangement from him.

"I'm not going to see you again tonight, am I?"

"Not so far as I know."

"Goodnight. Again."

"G'night, Miss Beckett."

Kate set the flowers on her coffee table. She actually had to hunt to find the card—taped to the urn, this time. She was betting Jack's wife was offended at the thought of a plastic rod sticking ruining the aesthetics of her arrangement. She opened the mini envelope.

_Aw, come now, Katherine, you didn't think I'd leave you with nothing to enjoy yourself, now did you?_

Kate smiled. She honestly hadn't considered it. She was simply touched that he took the time to learn what her mother's favorite flowers were and share it with her. He never rubbed it in that she didn't know and wouldn't ask. She couldn't. She couldn't admit she didn't know. That, and she was simply taken aback by the beauty of this bouquet. She texted Castle again.

**Make that 4 bouquets, 1 lilac bush and a Renoir come to life in my living room.**

_**You like?**_

**Thought I was Captain Obvious? **Kate took a picture and sent it to him.

_**Lina does good work**_

**She does. Thank you. Again. **

_**Sleep well, Kate.**_

An hour later, she was still staring at the Victorian bouquet. Castle had given her a plan, something to keep her busy and focused for a while on Mother's Day. She felt oddly settled, and knew she wore a slightly bemused expression. Another knock drew her attention. It was a little late for deliveries—but then so was Castle's last gift. Kate wondered what more he could have planned as she checked the peephole. Seeing who it was, she quickly pulled open the door, utterly perplexed.

"Alexis!"

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><p><strong>I know. I know. Long chapter…Review, for me please?<strong>

**And enjoy the rest of your weekend! I'm off to read some more of what you all have been writing!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hi everyone? How are you all dealing without Castle? I'm reading your fics and loving that you're reading mine. **

**Here's the next chapter. Some Kate/Rick, but mostly Kate/Alexis. Enjoy!**

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><p>Chapter 25 – Share you with me<p>

"Alexis!" Kate looked at the girl in surprise, but she pulled open the door, inviting the girl in.

"Hi Kate," Alexis said, walking past her with a confidence she didn't feel. She stepped into the apartment as Kate closed the door behind them. Alexis glanced around the room. On the counter, to her left were three bouquets—two in vases and one propped in an ornate looking beer stein. At her feet was a large lilac bush and, on the coffee table, was a big, beautiful arrangement.

Alexis suddenly worried she was interrupting something. She hadn't given any thought to the fact that Kate might have company. But it didn't seem like anyone else was there.

"It's not your birthday," Alexis said. Kate wondered at the statement—it wasn't a question, and Alexis didn't even sound like she was wondering about the flowers. She sounded oddly…flat.

"No, no it's not." She said walking past Alexis with an uneven smile, pointing at the flowers as she spoke. "Lanie. Friend slash apology. Josh. My dad. Probably also half apology. Your dad." Kate turned to the other two. "Your dad. And your dad."

Alexis simply nodded. She glanced to the flowers in the box. "Would you like me to put those in water for you?"

"Uh, sure." Kate walked over to the cabinet by her table to find a vase. When she returned, she handed it to Alexis who was already at the sink with the flowers. She'd scrimmaged around for Kate's kitchen shears, and was running water over the stems.

Kate sat on the stool at her counter watching Alexis, who kept all her attention focused on the flowers.

"Lex?" Alexis paused in her work—rearranging the flowers again, but didn't look up. "You want to talk about it?"

Alexis shook her head. "No."

_Such composure. _Forget the detective skills, if Kate weren't so skilled at passing off her own emotions in noncommittal fashion, she might have missed the tiny quiver in that short syllable. Kate didn't say anything and knew she didn't have to. Alexis wanted to talk, even if she didn't think so.

"I…It's just," Alexis started. "It's not important anyway. And I don't have a right to be upset. Everyone knew this was going to happen, even if they didn't say so. Gram. Dad. Probably even you."

"Well, I hear you come from a long line of mind readers. But me? Not so much."

"You really want to know?"

Kate nodded.

"Fine. Meredith ditched me at dinner. Simple. End of story."

"Why do I get the feeling there's more to the story than that? Come on. You're your father's daughter. Tell me the tale."

"Well, technically she didn't ditch me. Apparently her meeting with the producer went well. He introduced her to a casting director, Keith Leary—who coincidentally lives in L.A. She didn't want them to think she wasn't and I quote 'totally interested and devoted' to the role, so she invited Mr. Leary, and the producer and his wife to dinner."

"To the dinner you planned?"

"Yup. They showed up to Asiate 30 minutes late, and of course, I'd made reservations for two, so then she made a fuss until they finagled a table for five. You think 3rd wheel is bad? Try 5th wheel with people you don't even know—talking about things you don't care about."

Alexis looked over to Kate, hating that she sounded caustic.

"I left around the third course, right about the time Meredith was explaining to Mr. Leary how much she enjoyed learning more about what's 'behind the scenes' and maybe he'd like to come up later and go-over that with her?"

"Oh, Alexis. So she did—"

"No, it's okay. Don't feel bad for me. I'm not a complete carpet. I left. In a huff, I admit. But, I didn't make a scene or anything.'

"I didn't think so. You're much too gracious and respectful of the other diners to do that."

"Well. It wasn't their fault. And I had my purse, so I could leave. But, I left my key card in the room before dinner thinking I'd just go back with her after dinner. I was supposed to be staying with her while Gram got the loft to herself tonight."

She looked to Kate with some trepidation.

"I'm sorry I came here. I just knew it was going to be loud and crazy at home. And I didn't really want to go to Paige's or Ashley's or any of my other friends' places. I just…didn't want to interrupt their Mother's Days." _Or see them with their moms._

Kate got off her stool to go hug Alexis, but the girl didn't budge from her place at the counter, so Kate wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "Don't apologize for coming here," Kate whispered in her ear. "I'm honored that you chose me."

She made a more assertive effort to pull Alexis into a hug, wrapping both her arms around the girl's shoulders. She felt Alexis' arms curl around her back and cling to her shoulders as the girl's body folded in on itself until she was supported mostly by leaning into Kate.

"Why doesn't she like me, Kate?" Alexis asked in a harsh, strangled plea. The tears she fought to hold back for so long were escaping now, and her body twinged with anger, hurt and relief at having voiced her worry.

Kate had no idea how that could be true. No answer at all. Nothing more than a warm, steady embrace and hand to stroke her hair, but as Alexis relaxed into her, she began to feel that nothing more was needed in that moment.

It didn't take Alexis long to regain her composure. Nothing like Kate had done in her father's arms a few days earlier. Alexis leaned back from Kate swiping at her eyes, grimacing and telling Kate with her frown that she was sorry for crying all over her.

"You know what the worst part is?" she said, trying to lighten the situation. "I paid for the stuff tomorrow, but Dad arranged for our dinner tonight to be billed to him. So…he's paying for dinner for Meredith's new hot-shot slimeball friends."

"Well, let's just hope they're not ordering a bottle of vintage Madiera," Kate replied with trumped up whimsy.

Before Alexis could start to feel awkward, Kate tried to pull her into some normalcy.

"Well," Kate said fixing Alexis with a pointed look, "what I've learned tonight is that you did not get dessert."

"No…looked good, too."

"Well, I don't have a fancy tray of lemon soufflé or crème brulee," she smiled to see that her corniness drew a smile from the girl. "But, I do have Vanilla Bean Mocha and Triple Chocolate ice cream. Join me?"

"I'd say some Triple Chocolate sounds like soul food right about now."

"Watch a movie with me, too?"

Alexis nodded.

"Okay. I'm going to go change into something more comfortable. I'll find you some pajamas, too. And I'm going to call your dad, let him know you're here."

"Kate—"

"Lex, I have to tell him."

"I know. I wasn't going to say we shouldn't. Just—he's gonna be mad."

"Not without reason, Lex. I'll talk to him, then you can, 'kay?" Alexis nodded, so Kate headed to her room. "Why don't you pick out the movie? Nothing foreign tonight…oh, and nothing sad."

Kate found herself some lounge pants and a tee. For Lex, she grabbed her silky pajama pants with the matching top. She picked up her phone, debating what to say to Castle. Alexis was right, for all his foreboding, Castle was going to be regretting that he left for the Hamptons this weekend.

Castle picked up mid-way through the second ring.

"Do you miss me, Detective?"

"You're hard to miss."

"Cuts like a knife."

"Listen…" Her tone made Castle sit up a bit. Beckett changed her mind. Better to ease him into this. "Earlier…when we talked?"

Castle murmured "hmm."

"I invited Madison for our girl's night out on Saturday. She wanted to go, but had tentative plans with Todd and didn't want to leave him hanging. I mentioned that you guys had poker night planned…and he thought that sounded—"

"Hey, the more the merrier." Castle was grinning, probably at her obvious discomfort. But he didn't tease her.

"You sure?"

"Of course. But, if he ends up being a total shark, you're going to owe us big time."

"Owe you what?"

"I'm thinkin' something embarrassing."

"Like what?"

"Ooh, I know. He takes all our money, you have to wear a dress to work."

"Castle, you've seen me in a dress before."

"Not at work."

"Deal."

"Really?"

"Todd's not the brightest in the box."

"You underestimate my willingness to throw the game."

"Good thing you're not the only one playing."

"You know Ryan and Espo are susceptible to coercion—especially if it results in Beckett in a dress _at work_. I can see it now…" Castle closed his eyes, smiling at the memory of Beckett's body dipping down to the beat, hand in her hair. "How 'bout that number you wore when we went undercover?"

"Even if I lose this deal—which, I assure you, won't happen—I'm their boss, and trust me, they don't want to spend their days dumpster diving. And, in case you're forgetting, Castle, I'll be with their women." Her voice dropped to a seductive tease. "All. Night. Long."

"Where you going?"

"Like I'd tell you."

"Is Josh coming, too?"

"It's a girl's night out, Castle. What do you think?"

"I meant to poker."

"Oh. No." _Damn, why's he have to sound so sincere?_ "Conference in Nevada. Recruiting for Doctors without Borders."

"Well, at least it's in the states, right?"

"Yeah, I guess." _Awkward._

"Listen, Castle…that's not really the reason I called."

"No?"

"Where are—what are you doing right now?"

"Oh, how I'd love to lie! I was sitting in my office imaging how Heat would clear half a dozen rooms with no backup, but then I answered the phone, and now I'm talking to you, Detective."

"No knives? No letter openers?"

"Beckett, what's going on?"

"Rick, Alexis is here."

"_What?_"

"She's not bleeding or broken or otherwise injured—well, at least not physically, but she was a bit upset."

"What the hell happened?"

"Well, apparently Meredith showed up late to dinner with her producer, his wife and another guy in tow, and it went downhill from there. Alexis left and came here. You know? Your loft was…busy and I'm guessing she didn't want her friends feeling bad for her."

"I'm sorry, Beckett. I'll be down as soon as I can. Three hours max—there was construction on the way here."

"No, Castle. That's not why I'm calling."

"I can be there. We'll get a hotel." Castle had a sense of urgency in his voice.

"Castle, it's already getting late and she's fine here."

"But, you need—"

"_We_ are going to watch a movie and _you_ are going to stay in the Hamptons. She's fine here. I promise I'm not going to screw her up overnight." Beckett's irritation was beginning to show through. She hated being told what she needed. She didn't know when she'd decided she wanted—really wanted—Alexis there. _Maybe she'd been missing company all day?_

"Look, Beckett, I'm not trying to insult your…competence or whatever. It's…I just…I know you like your privacy, and then there's, well, tomorrow…and I know that's hard for you. And you shouldn't have to deal with my mess of an ex-wife on top of everything else."

"Trust me, I know what tomorrow is." Kate said softly, her frustration disappearing at Castle's concern.

"So, I'll come get her?"

"Rick, please just let me keep her." Rick heard the plea in her voice. She sounded oddly like a little girl begging her father to let her keep the kitten she'd found.

"Kate, I—"

"Look, I know she feels bad, but for the first time all day, I feel…" She couldn't explain how she felt.

"How about I let you talk to Alexis? She can tell you what happened and all that. And if she wants you to come get her, then come. But, otherwise, just come back tomorrow like you planned. And, Castle? Please don't go making her feel guilty for coming here because, honestly, knowing that came here, that she trusts me…" Kate paused. "My cup runneth over."

Kate's voice was low and etched with emotion, and even though Castle was worried that her emotion came from a heavy heart, he could hear the sincerity in her voice.

"Okay, Kate. If you're sure? She probably needs your woman's perspective and expertise as daughter-extraordinaire more than she needs me right now."

"I'm sure."

"Give her a hug for me, okay? That's all I could really do for her anyway. Probably better that I stay here because top of mind for me right now is giving Meredith a piece of mine."

"Yeah. Good thing you're in the Hamptons and I'm off duty," Kate joked humorlessly. "Thank you, Rick—for everything."

"It is I who should be thanking you. Take care of my girl, okay?" He'd be telling Alexis the same thing.

"I will. Goodnight."

"Night, Kate."

Kate traded places with Alexis and pointed out the jammies she'd laid out on the bed. She closed the door behind her to give Alexis some privacy and set about scooping ungodly amounts of ice cream for herself and Alexis. She was just returning to the couch with a pillow and extra blankets when Alexis reentered the living room, actually smiling. She stopped right in front of Kate before wrapping her arms around her and squeezing her in a tight hug. Then planted a kiss on Kate's cheek.

"That's from Dad." She said smiling.

Kate chuckled. "Sneaky." _Figures he'd use Alexis,_ Kate thought amused.

"But this one's from me." And she hugged Kate again, more warmly. They plopped together like that on the couch and cuddled together under a blanket through their movie. Barely awake when it ended, Kate wished Alexis sweet dreams, before putting the peonies in the fridge as Castle had suggested and grabbing Castle's other arrangement before shuffling off to bed.

Kate awoke the next morning, with tears already escaping from under her eyelids. She hadn't even had a conscious thought, and already she was crying. She lived and breathed in her mother's absence, but she was seldom more aware of it than today. She turned to her nightstand where she'd placed the flowers and a picture of her mother. Sometimes she worried she'd forget what her mother looked like, how her voice sounded, how it felt to be wrapped in her hug. She reached out to touch the petals of the peonies wondering how often her mother had done the same thing. _God, Mother's Day sucks._

The funny thing? _Or would Castle say 'ironic'?_ Mother's Day hadn't really been a big deal to her mom. They made her breakfast—whatever she requested—and gave her their gifts. But beyond that, they just spent time together. No special traditions. The traditions didn't come until after her mother was gone. Kate would wake up alone. When she felt ready to face the world, she'd wander around the city, eating breakfast or lunch at whatever pit stop appealed to her—if any did. She'd find a flower shop or stand—not hard to do on Mother's day, and then she'd make her way to the cemetery. From there, it was back home, then to her Dad's for the rest of the night. But today, with her dad in Atlanta with _Sheryl and her kids_, she was on her own.

Then she remembered Alexis. For whatever pain she had, she felt bad for Alexis. Her best "mom" moments, it seemed, were thanks to Mr. Mom. Kate had no doubt that Castle took on that role with relish because he'd do anything for Alexis, but it's not the same as having a mom around. Kate missed her mom like hell—had even given her mom hell for a few years in high school, but at least she knew her mother's unconditional love. Alexis didn't have that from the one woman from whom the emotion should have been ingrained and unrestrained.

Kate heard the toilet flush and Alexis' feet padding back into the living room. Deciding it was time to check on Alexis, Kate made her way to her own bathroom before making her way to the living room. Alexis sat, legs drawn up to hold her pillow between her knees and her chest. Her forehead rested on the pillow and Kate noted toilet paper scrunched in her hand. _Why didn't I think to leave the tissues out here?_ She hadn't thought that far ahead.

Alexis lifted her head to give Kate a sad smile. Kate didn't say anything, she just walked over and put her arms around Alexis and tucked her cheek onto Alexis' hunched over shoulder. Alexis reciprocated, snaking her arm around Kate's back and hugging her tightly. They stayed like that for a while, each lost in her own thoughts. After a few moments, Alexis stirred and placed her hand over Kate's, planning to stand.

"I should get going. I don't need to be in your hair—especially today of all days."

"Oh, no, Honey. You're not just going to leave me here," Kate said, pulling Alexis back to her spot on the couch. "What did you have planned for today?"

"Well, I wanted to go to the museum. That costume exhibit I told you about? But I didn't think Meredith would like that so much, so…spa and then shopping. But, I don't have to worry about that now. I still have to go to the brunch though…can't really skip out on something I helped plan. How 'bout you?"

"No plans really, other than visit my mom's…gravesite, find her flowers. But your dad took care of that part already." _Gravesite is still so hard to say,_ Kate thought.

Alexis looked questioningly at her.

"That's what the lilac bush is for. And the peonies. And he sent the tools—even instructions for planting it—which is kinda funny because I'd have wondered. I don't think I've ever planted anything. Not even a bean in school."

"We volunteer at community gardens sometimes…I mean sometimes through NHS or one of Dad's projects."

"That's good, because, um…," Kate was a little nervous now. "Well, I was thinking that, uh, maybe today I'd, um…share my mom with you? You know? If you share you with me?"

Alexis' eyes brightened. "Really?" she asked. But then doubt immediately invaded. "Are you sure you don't want to be alone?"

"I thought I did. I normally do. But now, I can't think of a way I'd rather spend the day than with you. We could compromise. You come with me? I'll go with you? Museum though because that sounds great. Can you cancel your spa reservations?"

"Are you sure you'd want to come with me? Even to the brunch?"

Kate nudged Alexis. "Geez, Girl. Between you and your father I've never been asked if 'I'm sure' so often. Do I strike you as indecisive or compulsive?"

Alexis shook her head 'no.'

"Good, because, unless you'd rather go by yourself, I'd love to go. It'd give me a chance to meet the friends I hear so much about, right? Is Ashley going to be there?"

Alexis smiled and nodded.

"So, when is this shindig?"

"Ten-thirty to noon. I have to be there by ten."

"So, brunch, cemetery, museum?"

"Sounds good to me. But I have to run to the hotel. Get my bag…and things."

No way was Kate going to let Alexis face Meredith alone.

"I'll go with you. We can get coffee on the way. I _need_ my coffee." She exaggerated that last bit, making Alexis laugh.

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><p><strong>Hope you like this bit. Sorry it took a while to get it to you, but review please?<strong>


	26. Ch 26  Insensitive dolt

***** If it looks familiar, reposted to fix. Thanks to baterista9 and jessabelle87 for the heads up! *****

**A lot happens in this chapter. Really, it's over 5,500 words, so it's more like 2 or 3 chapters. Thought about splitting it up, but…well, might have taken longer, but it makes more sense all together. Plus, reviews indicate you all prefer longer chapters. **

**Reviews also indicate you all hate Josh. Please try to keep in mind that in this story, even though we're 26 chapters in, the story is pretty detailed and not a lot of time has passed. I still want to play with Josh, torture him a little…**

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><p>Chapter 26 – Insensitive dolt<p>

Kate had been in the Time Warner Center a few times, mostly for cases, but once for a modeling job when she was a teen. However, she'd never stepped foot in the Mandarin Oriental and she'd never had reason to. She's seen enough billboards and ads to know that it was described as "the most breathtaking luxury hotel" in New York City, and glancing around the lobby after stepping off the elevator on the 34th floor, it seemed the description was incredibly apt. From the marble floors and oriental rugs to the ornate crystal chandeliers, the place was simply gorgeous.

Everywhere Kate looked, there was something beautiful. Even the people seemed prettier than average population, making Kate wonder if there was a correlation between wealth and beauty—or at least the impression of beauty. It wasn't a progressive thought, just an observation—and an easy correlation based on the small amount of time she'd spend abroad in developing countries.

"Lex, this place is amazing. Not sure we need to go to the museum; we could just walk around here all day."

"Yeah, you wait long enough, you'll probably see some little old lady walking around here with a huge hat looking like she's the Queen of England. I saw the same lady three times yesterday, wearing a different outfit each time. Matching purse, matching shoes, matching hat, and a little dog with a matching sweater. So stereotypical."

"Aren't you a bit young be so jaded?" Kate laughed.

"Hey, the least she could do is be original. It's not like she can't afford it."

"Well, imagine if she had been original. You might have seen her dressed up like she was trying out for _Moulin Rouge_."

"Eww, Kate," Alexis laughed. "You had to go there? Lanie's right. You are a little warped."

"Not to worry. She's got some mega powerful forensic disinfectants—we can wipe that slate clean."

"Are you forgetting all the trauma Dad's inflicted?"

"You're right. You're doomed."

The two arrived at the front desk. Alexis asked them to ring their suite to see if Meredith was in, and when she answered, she asked the front desk to please tell them that her daughter would be coming up momentarily. Kate recognized that she was giving Meredith warning, allowing her to ensure that any visitors were gone and that Meredith was prepared to see her.

On the way to the elevator, Alexis turned to Kate. "You don't have to come up if you don't want to."

"I'm coming. It'll give me a chance to see more of this amazing hotel." Any excuse would do. Alexis wanted Kate with her and Kate wanted to be there for her. She wouldn't need to say anything, she could just be the silent support Alexis needed.

"If it's okay with you, I'll probably take a quick shower and change here so we can head straight to the brunch."

"Sounds good." So, she'd be alone with Meredith. _Oh, well._

They rode the elevator up to the 13th floor. The stopped in front of the door. Alexis paused, giving Kate a 'here we go' look and raised her fist to knock. A moment later, a smiling Meredith pulled open the door.

"Alexis," Meredith said, pulling the girl into a hug.

"Hi, Mom." Alexis said, hugging her back. "How was your evening?"

"Oh, you know," she said waving her hand in the air. "Some business, some pleasure."

Kate grimaced imperceptibly as Meredith stepped to her, air kissing her cheek. "Detective Beckett, so lovely to see you. Please come in," she said, gesturing toward the suite.

Kate wasn't sure what to make of this. 'Meredith' was now 'Mom' when Alexis spoke. It unnerved her a bit, and she wondered what this woman had done to deserve the title. Kate had expected awkwardness between the two. Silence. Anger. Anything other than this pretense that all was well. But, Alexis was smiling, so there wasn't much Kate could do other than go with it.

"So, Mom, what are your plans for today?"

"Well, Keith invited me back to the studio. My agent sent over some headshots and clips. He's like to go over them together. Then I'll be meeting up with my friend, Danielle. You remember her? Tall blonde—real fake looking tan? Talks incessantly?"

"The one that tried to bribe me into giving her Dad's number?"

"You remember. Yeah, we're going to hit Saks, have lunch."

"Sounds like a good time."

"Should be. How about you two girls? What are you up to?"

"Oh, I talked Kate into going to lunch with me. Then we're going to the museum. And Dad's making us dinner."

Kate smiled at Alexis, appreciating that she didn't mention the cemetery, but cocked an eyebrow at the last part of her statement. Meredith turned to scrutinize Kate, but Kate didn't let her surprise show, even as Alexis winked at her.

"Well, I'm going to go freshen up. Mom, maybe you could get Kate another cup of coffee?"

"Oh, no. I'm good. Thanks." Kate turned to look out the windows that span the length of the room. The room overlooked Central Park, and from where she stood, the people looked like colorful ants, appearing and reappearing from under the lush greenery of the world's most famous park. Kate smiled at Alexis. "I'll be right here, people watching from afar."

Alexis gave her another 'you sure?' look. Kate laughed. "Hurry up, Lex. We don't wanna be late!"

The girl disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Kate alone with her mother. You'd think she'd feel uncomfortable, but no. Instead, she turned to the window, intending to do just as she said. Meredith, however, wanted to talk. She'd never hidden her curiosity about Kate, but Richard was evasive and Alexis was effusive about Kate, but wouldn't commit to a description when it came to Kate and her dad.

"So, Richard's making dinner, huh?"

"So it seems."

"What's he making?"

"It's a surprise." _In more ways than one._

"Probably salmon. If I recall, that's Martha's favorite."

"Could be."

"So, you're going to the Mother's Day brunch with Alexis?"

"Yup."

"Hmm."

"What?"

"Won't that be odd?"

Kate turned to look at Meredith.

"I mean, since you're not really her mother?"

"Well, as I recall, she invited the woman who's really her mother. That woman agreed to come and then, apparently, changed her mind last minute. Someone should be there for her."

"You're right," Meredith said, looking down. "Thank you for doing it," she added, nervously tucking back a strand of hair that fell from her up-do.+

_My God this family is confusing! How can she stand there looking bad for letting her daughter down and thank me for stepping in at the same time?_

"Meredith, please help me understand what's going on here. Your daughter shows up at my door when you're supposed to be enjoying a Mother's Day dinner? Why? Why would she feel the need to do that?"

"Yes, that's…unfortunate. I'm sure we could have planned that better."

"Planned what better? Did you plan to destroy her evening?"

"No, of course not. I'm just…I play a lot of roles, but this role—it's too real. I'm not cut out for it. Alexis knows that."

"You're an actress! You couldn't have pretended for one night to be what she needed?"

"Of course, I could have. But she shouldn't have to."

"So, that's it? It was a noble gesture on your part?"

"No. That's not what I said." Meredith turned from Kate in frustration, and walked to the window. "Look, I don't expect you to understand."

Kate had a feeling that she was about to get Meredith's best act. The woman had her arms wrapped around herself, head tilted back, like she was fighting off tears. But then she turned to Kate, and grabbed her hands and drew her to the padded bench that ran the length of the window. Maybe Kate was a fool, but the tears in her eyes and the look there seemed sincere.

Meredith blew out a deep breath, and squeezed Kate's hand. "I'm glad she has someone like you in her life. I was surprised at first because I kept hearing your name, but you and Richard weren't together. But, whatever it is, whatever you two have, it's clear that you care about Alexis. He was right to make you her guardian."

"I'm sorry? What?"

"I'm glad that Alexis can—"

"Guardian? What are you talking about?

"What do you mean?

"You said guardian."

"Yes. I haven't had any legal right to Alexis since we divorced, but Richard still checked with me before making you her legal guardian."

"I'm her legal guardian?"

"Of course. Richard said he asked you."

"He did. I mean, he made me promise to take care of her if anything ever happened to him."

"Right. He trusts you."

"But he made me her legal guardian? Wouldn't I have to sign something? Or know about it?"

"Don't you want to be?"

"Well, I…I mean. I've never had to think about it. I thought it was more to comfort Rick."

"But you would take care of her?"

"Of course. Without a doubt. Obviously, I hope there'd never be any reason, but she's the most amazing kid I've ever met."

"Yeah, she is amazing."

"I still don't understand. I guess I'm surprised it's not you or Martha."

"Well, I'm sure he discussed it with Martha. And she loves Alexis, but I'm sure she didn't want the responsibility—not when there's a better option. And she's not exactly a traditional grandmother—or mother, for that matter. As for me, like I said, I'm…well, I gave birth to Alexis. But, the truth is, she never needed me. She had Richard. And he needed her. She grounded him from the moment he set eyes on her."

_Still does_, Kate thought.

"She terrified me. I always thought I'd want kids someday, but not then. I was too young. Just starting my career. If it hadn't been for Richard, I wouldn't have had her. I mean she wouldn't even be here."

Kate had never been in that position and she'd never begrudged a woman's choice, but she resented knowing that Alexis hadn't been wanted, that her life hadn't been valued—except by Castle. She imagined how angry Castle must have been and considered the kind of man he was. He could have encouraged Meredith and gone about his playboy ways—maybe been a little more careful in the future. But he fought for that baby and even convinced Meredith to marry him so that she'd have both a mother and a father—something he'd missed out on.

"You won't understand—most women don't. But I didn't want her in my body. I didn't want stretch marks or the pain of pushing her out. When she was born, I didn't want to hold her. They said it was post-partum. That I'd come around, but that wasn't it. I was convinced I was just a vessel, but I stuck around because it was expected. Besides, she was important to my family. They're good people. They deserved her. I didn't. I never have. But they did. And she deserved them."

"Why did you agree to come?" Kate asked, unaware that the door to the bathroom was cracked open.

"I love her. But I missed my chance to be her mother. That's why I couldn't let her pretend, I couldn't let her hold me up in front of her friends and real mothers as someone who'd been there for her or who would be there for her. I mean, I'd certainly try, but I don't have the best track record and, honestly, I don't know how to be what she needs. It seems a little late to start trying. I'm better at being the friend or the crazy aunt that whirlwinds in and then is, blissfully, gone."

"And you discovered all this stuff about yourself when? Because I have a feeling you knew before you ever stepped foot on that plane."

"Well, I—"

"There's no excuse, Meredith. If you didn't really want to be here, you should have told her beforehand. She invited you and you said 'yes.' You could have said you couldn't make it, and planned to do the crazy aunt stuff another time, when it didn't bear the weight of Mother's Day."

"I didn't know what was best."

"Even the most insensitive dolt knows ditching your daughter for a meaningless tryst and a shot at a third-rate role is never the right answer."

"It's not a third-rate role."

"You hurt her for no reason, Meredith. _Don't_ do it again." Kate's message was delivered without the trademark glare she so frequently leveled on Castle. That was play time; this was not. She was rarely this serious.

Meredith was taken aback by the forcefulness behind Kate's words. No one had ever spoken to her like that. Richard yelled, of course, and while anger was clearly an underlying component to Kate's words, there was something more: a promise of intractable pain if Meredith dared to defy Kate's commandment.

Alexis stepped out into the room, ignoring the tension between the two women. "Ok, Kate. I'm ready!"

Kate turned to Alexis with a huge smile on her face. "Wonderful, let's go!" She grabbed Alexis' bag and headed to the door as Meredith stepped forward to hug her daughter.

"Bye, Alexis! Have a wonderful day."

"You, too, Mom." Alexis said returning her hug. She turned to join Kate, and called over her shoulder, "I'll see you the next time Grandpa dies."

Out the door, Kate glances toward the girl. "Don't ask."

"Your dad kills people for a living, then comes to follow me around at work to see actual dead people. Your gram's got graydar. Your mom jet sets to Paris for lunch dates and your grandfather apparently dies multiple deaths." Kate muttered. "And I'm the one who's warped?"

"Don't worry. We still love you." Alexis said intertwining her arm with Kate's.

* * *

><p>Kate was sitting in front of her mother's headstone, reflecting on the day. Alexis had walked with her to the gravesite, helping to carry the flowers and gardening tools, while Kate carried the lilac bush, but then walked away to allow Kate some privacy. Kate was thankful, but it wasn't really necessary because aside from saying "I love you" or "I miss you," Kate seldom spoke aloud to her mother at the gravesite. Kate could never get past the fact that her mother wasn't really there, so talking aloud just seemed silly—or at least reserving it for at the cemetery. That's why most of the conversations she had with her mom were all in her head. Sometimes, she wasn't even sure why she came to the cemetery, but there was still something about it.<p>

She watched Alexis walking, pausing to read headstones as she went. Kate wondered to her mother if she was doing the right thing with Alexis? She wondered what advice her mother would give her, what she'd think of Alexis? Of Rick? Instinctively, she knew her mother would love them. She felt certain her mother, wherever she was, was glad that Kate had them in her life.

Kate's conversations with her mom were very much stream of consciousness. As Kate sat there, she 'told' her mother about the flowers—how she'd never put two and two together, how she was sorry she'd never asked Dad. She told her more about the benefit, how the scholarship was coming, their plans for the rest of the day, the brunch they'd been to.

Brunch had been _relatively _uneventful. Alexis had to be busy to start, but she immediately introduced Kate to Paige's mom, who was an exceptionally likable and bubbly person, and she was very happy to introduce Kate around. When Ashley arrived, he was quick to spot Kate and introduce her to his mother, Elizabeth—who, Kate was surprised to find, seemed to know all about her and the Nikki Heat series.

Kate figured Castle must have made quite impression because Elizabeth certainly didn't seem like the type to read anything outside of the biography, history or investment realm. Alexis later explained that they were quite fascinated with Kate's work and how it was transcribed to the page. They'd grilled Castle, wondering how embellished the events in the novels were and had been looking forward to meeting Kate for months now.

Elizabeth wasn't the only one who'd taken an interest in Kate. With all the women and their questions swirling around her, the phrase "fresh meat" took on new meaning for Kate. It was a special kind of torture put on by the PTA queens. They wanted to know details about her work, how she knew Alexis, the books, the movie…everything. Kate took their questions in stride and with a smile on her face, but she was an expert interrogator and master deflector. Without really knowing it, they ended up answering more questions than she did and they learned very little about Kate.

Everything was fine until one Ms. Jenna Macaborski, also known as Lauren's mother, leaned over conspiratorially. "Befriending the daughter was a good move. But, what we all _really_ want to know, Kate," she said, pausing to ensure that she had everyone's attention, "is what Richard Castle is like in bed? I, for one, wouldn't mind having his hot bod gliding over mine." Another so-called lady murmured in agreement, while the others had the good grace to look shocked and embarrassed.

That was more than Kate had bargained for. It was not the first time she'd been accused of sleeping with Richard Castle, and though it was a vulgar question, that's not what really bothered her. She was there for Alexis, plain and simple. The idea that her relationship with Alexis was merely a ploy to get into Castle's pants was as ridiculous as it was offensive. Still, Kate hadn't thought her question deserved an answer.

"You know, I think I'm going to go find Alexis. Would you excuse me?" Kate stated, and moved away.

"Wait," Jenna called, catching up with her. "Really, is he as good as I imagine?"

Kate recalled being appalled. "Something tells me you'll never find out." _But, really, what the hell do I know about Castle's type?_ she thought. Seemed to run the gamut…so long as they were, tall, pretty and willing. And, well, Jenna was all three. Especially willing.

"We'll see," Jenna had said. "Maybe you could give him my card? Have him call me. I'd like to arrange a…play date." Then she looked Kate up and down. "You'd be welcome to join us. I'm a good sharer."

Kate had been dumbfounded. _Who acts like that? Especially in front of other people with her daughter less than ten feet away at a Mother's Day bunch?_ Jenna didn't even know for sure that Kate wasn't sleeping with him! _She was a real bitch, Mom_, Kate thought to her mother.

"I'm not, but I'll be sure to give him your card," Kate had told her, smiling her best tight smile. _Oh, Castle. You are never going to hear the end of this._

Alexis made her way back over to where Kate sat with her arms around her knees. When Kate noticed Alexis' shadow, she patted the ground, silently asking Alexis to sit down beside her.

"Have you ever been roller skating? I mean not on rollerblades? Seems like it would be harder than in-line skates, right?"

Alexis nodded.

"I was mediocre…meaning I could stand up, move forward, go backward, but nothing fancy. But one of my earliest memories is of her skating in circles around me, laughing after I'd fallen. I remember I wanted to cry, but she was just so happy, I couldn't. I think now she did it to distract me from the pain."

"I've never had anyone with me here before, Alexis. Not even my dad. Didn't think I could handle it."

Alexis felt out of place, bad for being there and intruding on Kate's privacy, and wouldn't look up at Kate.

Kate reached over for Alexis' hand, and squeezed it, urging Alexis to look at her. "You?" she nodded toward Alexis. "Here?" she nodded toward her mother's headstone. "With me?" she tucked her head and shrugged a little, before giving Alexis a slight smile. "Best distraction I've ever had."

When Alexis smiled back at her, she said, "Of course, having something to do helps, too." Kate reached for the gardening tools. "Where should we plant this?"

For the first time, Alexis looked to the headstone. To the left, a large angel chiseled out of white stone kneeled and hunkered over a glossy slab of black marble. A glass teardrop was evident on the angel's cheek, and glistened in the sun. In the black marble, Kate's mother's name and lifespan were etched. And there, below "loving wife and mother" was a quote that caused Alexis' breath to catch in her throat: _the measure of what a human being can be._

"Maya Angelou," Alexis whispered.

"Yes. How did you know?"

"It's one of dad's favorites."

"It always stuck with me…nothing else seemed right."

"Kate…before dad settled on 'extraordinary', he asked for permission to use that very same quote to describe you."

Kate shook her head in disbelief. "It's true. I could show you drafts. Even Ms. Angelou's reply."

Kate was still shaking her head. "But, he—"

"He thought it was a copout—no pun intended—not being able to come up with something original for you."

"A whole book wasn't enough?" Kate said incredulously.

"Where you're concerned?" Alexis asked pointedly. "Never enough."

"If your dad ever finds out, he'll arrest me for plagiarism."

"Are you forgetting he's not actually a cop?"

"What? No. _Never._"

Alexis laughed. "Come on. Let's get this thing planted. I'll move it around and you tell me where it looks best."

After a little while, Kate was pretty sure they would have made better use of an actual shovel more than the garden spade, but it was better than clawing through the ground. And when they stood back and admired their work, Alexis asked if it was odd to say it looked beautiful? Kate shook her head 'no' and had to admit…the lilac bush looked like it belonged there. It was the perfect bookend to the angel on the other side—one mourning death, one celebrating life.

Before they left, Kate pressed a kiss to her fingers, before placing her fingers over her mother's name and whispering "I love you." She was surprised when Alexis did the same, but she heard a "Thank you" instead. Not for the first time, Kate's eyes filled with tears.

* * *

><p>"Hey Dad! We're home," Alexis called, stepping through the door.<p>

Kate followed, immediately noting that whatever Castle was cooking smelled delicious.

Castle called out, "Kitchen" and Martha appeared from somewhere behind the stairs to hug Alexis.

"Happy Mother's Day, Gram," Alexis said hugging her grandmother. "Did you have a nice party?"

"Oh, it was wonderful, Dear," Martha said. "But you know," she said walking toward Kate, while still looking at Alexis, "You could have come home. I would have kicked them all straight out." She was her usual animated self, with her arms waving around her head, jabbing a finger toward the door.

Martha brought her arms down around Kate, to give her the hug Kate had come to expect. "No reason to ruin your fun, Martha," Kate said hugging her back. "We had a good time."

Martha whispered in her ear, "Thanks for taking care of our girl" before pulling back to study Kate. It was a mother's inspection—the kind Kate hadn't been subjected to in years. The older woman was silently checking to ensure that the younger woman was holding up. Red eyes? Circles? Hallows? She must have passed inspection because Martha gave her arms a little squeeze, before releasing her and leading them to the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Kate was surprised at how quickly she'd become comfortable with Martha and all her eccentricities. She would have thought Martha would be more the type to offer a polite handshake, maybe lean in for a light hug. To top it all off, the woman looked like she'd be all bones and jutting edges. So, needless to say, Kate was surprised to find her embrace warm and comfortable. She'd been awkward and stick-like the first few times Martha hugged her, but now she squeezed back.<p>

At the counter, they all sat to watch Castle work.

"Kate," Martha said, "I'm glad you could join us for dinner."

"Well, thanks for…inviting me?" Kate asked. She wasn't really sure she'd been invited. More, Alexis had said her dad was making dinner, and Kate hadn't assumed an invitation. She wasn't surprised to be invited, but when she'd indicated that it was a family dinner, Alexis wanted none of it. Dinner was part of sharing the day with her. Kate was joining them, and Gram would be disappointed if she didn't and Dad had already planned on her being there.

"So, what are you cooking, Castle? Smells great."

"Butter-balsamic asparagus is roasting in the oven, horseradish mashed potatoes—Mother's favorite—"

"Mango's better," Alexis piped up.

"What?" Kate asked.

"Oh, nonsense," Martha answered.

"Mango what?"

"Mango mashed potatoes," Rick explained.

"They're Alexis' favorite," Martha added.

"That sounds nasty," Kate wrinkled her nose.

"Nope. Quite delicious." Castle answered.

"How 'bout you, Detective? What are your favorite mashed potatoes?" he asked.

"Is there something wrong with just regular old mashed potatoes?"

"No, 'course not."

"I don't know. I just like mashed potatoes over baked or boiled. Plain, parmesan, garlic…doesn't really matter."

"Next time you have to make mango," Alexis said.

"Next time, I will."

"You're gonna love 'em, Kate."

"We'll see." Kate smiled, knowing they'd hooked her for dinner again without even trying and she was already looking forward to it.

Castle checked the chicken he was grilling on his massive stovetop one more time before announcing it was time for dinner.

"So, tell me ladies. What was the highlight of the day? Is there a former fashion faux-pas begging to make a comeback?"

"Now that you mention it, Castle, there was a 15th-century ruffled collar that I think you could pull off. Very Shakespearean. And imitation is a form of flattery."

Castle looked to the other two, "Should I be insulted?"

"Of course, Son."

Alexis laughed.

"So, what about you? Best part?" Castle asked his daughter.

Alexis thought for a minute. Knowing her favorite part was actually just being with Kate…or maybe the quote. _Wonder if I should tell Dad?_ "Either posing in all those exotic costumes—we have some hilarious pictures—"

"What kind of museum did you take my daughter to?"

"She said _exotic_ not _erotic_," Kate rolled her eyes at him.

"_OR_," Alexis stressed, "when Kate called Meredith an 'insensitive dolt'. You should have seen the look on her face."

Kate flushed a bright red. "Eavesdrop much?"

"Not my fault sound travels." Alexis cocked her head with a showy grin.

Martha put her hand on Kate's arm, "Insensitive dolt, huh? I guess we should be thanking you for being so kind."

Castle chuckled. "True. She heard far worse from me. Or she will when she listens to her voicemail."

"Speaking of hearing from people…" Kate reached into her pocket, and smirked at Rick. She knew Alexis and Martha would love this story and razz him endlessly.

"I experienced a first today; two, if you count being hit on at a Mother's Day brunch. And wasn't someone assuming I'm Nikki Heat—and by extension sleeping with her creator. Alas, it wasn't even being hit on by a woman."

"Have you ever—" Castle's eyes

"Shut it _now_, Castle, or I will shoot you."

"So what happened?"

Kate flipped a business card between her fingers and slid it over to Castle. "One Ms. Jenna Macaborski propositioned _me_ as a means to get _you_ in bed. So, not only does she think we're sleeping together, she thinks we're a package deal. Isn't that sweet?" She smiled a fake demure smile, while dropping her head and narrowing her eyes at Castle. Of course, she'd pretend it was his fault just to watch him squirm.

But he didn't. He just picked up the card and laughed. "Jenna who?" he asked Alexis.

"Lauren's mom."

"Mrs. Hinton?"

"Divorced sugar daddy numero dos. Back to Macaborski."

"Ah...figures," Martha said. "She was chasing you when Alexis was in junior high."

"I don't know whether to frame this one—because that's pretty damn funny—or just put it in the cup."

"The cup?"

"Oh, that's where we put all Dad's love interests when they're kind enough to send their 'available' notices through us."

"Even Jim's been adding a few," Martha explained.

"Jim, the doorman, Jim?"

"Yeah. We started it years ago," Alexis said. "But it's gotten worse since Nikki Heat. A lot worse recently, since they began promoting the movie."

"Yes, Detective. So really, this is all your fault."

"My fault? And how's that Castle?"

"Sex sells."

"Are you implying I've sold myself for sex?"

"You could be less sexy. Go butch, maybe?" Castle suggested.

"Castle, are you—"

"You're my muse." Kate kicked him under the table and glared at him.

"I can't write you not sexy. It'd be a lie. And I can't help that you inspire sexier novels—which then sell even better and get made into movies."

"I didn't write them. You'd think you could take responsibility for at least that."

"It's a known fact, Detective. The muse chooses the medium. I'm your medium. You chose me."

"Funny, I don't remember having a lot of choice in the matter." Kate huffed, sipping her wine. That hadn't gone quite the way she planned, but her eyes danced and she found she didn't mind.

Alexis and Martha stared at the two, smiling and awed by their verbal exchange and impressive eye contact.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you are still liking this and that you'll let me know either way! Reviews make my day…especially when I'm at work! Where I will probably be when you have a chance to read this, as it is late…<strong>

**Blessings to you all!**


	27. Ch 27 Punishment

**Here's another segment of my Kate / Castle story. I hope you enjoy it. **

**Also, thanks to all those who noted my naming error in the last chapter. Sorry about that! It'll teach me to change names last minute! :o)**

**Bones35 left a nice review (as did many of you…a gazillion THANKS!) But she also had this idea that intrigues me: bringing back the collection cup of interested women. Problem is, I don't have any good ideas as to how. If you can come up with a good idea (even better if it's funny), I'll try to incorporate…and of course, give you credit for the idea. Bones35 also came up with a great idea as to how to incorporate, but it wouldn't work in this particular story. Who knows, maybe she'll write it for us? **

**BTW – I still haven't seen any stories about the idea in my bio. Any takers? I would love to read that, I just don't have time to write it.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 27 – Punishment<p>

Kate was walking back from patrol, reviewing the reports related to her current stack of DD-5s. It looked like one BOLO resulted in detention of a suspect she'd been wanting to talk to for months; arranging an interview with him at was her new top priority. She headed straight for Detective Ryan.

"Ryan," she said, still looking at the paper she was holding. "Patrol collared Nathan Sagstad. I want him in interrogation." She handed him the paper. "Esposito, pull the Hamelin file?" she asked, finally looking up. When she did, she noticed Ryan subtly nod toward her desk.

She turned to look and visibly shrunk when she realized the man sitting in Castle's chair wasn't Castle.

"Josh. What are you doing here?" she asked, rounding her desk.

"I came to take you to lunch."

"I'm working."

"So you can't eat?"

"I'm in the middle of an investigation, and an old one just got hot, so no, I can't just leave. And my lunch is already on its way."

Kate saw Lanie park herself in the chair near Esposito's desk. Ten to one the boys texted her as soon as they saw Josh. _Nosy little gibs._

"It's not a whim, Kate. I haven't seen you in almost two weeks."

"Not entirely my fault."

"Come on, Kate. You aren't going to be gone long. We'll go close by."

"I'm working. We've got to—"

"How much are you really going to get done? You can't spare an hour for me? Won't they be working on it?" Josh asked, nodding to Ryan and Esposito.

The elevator dinged and opened to reveal Castle, carrying a small, cardboard box of drinks and Chinese take-out cartons. He'd had a moment of inspiration earlier and was smiling to himself as he worked out the details. He was in his own little world as he made his familiar way to his chair.

"Yes, but this is my case. I wouldn't just walk in while you're in the middle of surgery and expect you to hand it off to someone else."

Beckett's hushed voice stopped Castle a few paces shy of Beckett's desk. She looked tense, and seeing Josh there, he immediately knew why. Josh at the precinct was one thing—well, a two-time thing as far as Castle knew. Josh at the precinct unannounced was another—a bad thing. Dr. Motorcycle Boy should know better.

"That's different, Kate."

"No, it's not. There are families out there waiting for us to get this guy."

"You're acting like they're incompetent," he nodded toward her detectives, "And can't handle you being gone for a minute."

Kate was embarrassed. That was completely _not true_ and she hoped Esposito and Ryan hadn't heard him, but she could tell from their heads-down stilled motion that they had. _God, they have to know that's not true._ She closed her eyes briefly and clenched her jaw. Now, she was mad.

_Perfect timing_, Castle thought. Since the pair hadn't noticed him yet, Castle steeled his shoulders and stood up a little taller than when he'd walked in. He resumed his stride, paused as if he'd just noticed Josh.

Castle walked up to him, with his hand extended for a good, solid shake. "Hey, Josh," he sounded overly friendly. "How've you been?"

"Good," Josh said, returning his handshake. "I see you're still playing cops and robbers."

Castle bristled, but didn't let it show. Only Kate saw the crinkles in the corner of Castle's eye twitch ever so slightly. _Great, just what I need. Another "Who's the man?" contest._

"Well, you know…goes along with my Peter Pan complex."

_Why is he being self-deprecating?_

"Came to take your girl to lunch, huh?" Castle asked, not being overtly loud, but not quiet either. He watched Josh's face skew as if he was the most brilliant man in the world. The first to think of taking his girlfriend to lunch.

_Did he emphasize 'your girl'? What's he doing?_ Kate wondered.

"I actually think that's pretty sweet," he said turning his smile to Kate. "Don't you?"

She glared at him. "Actu—"

"Isn't that sweet, guys?" he interrupted her, directing his question to Lanie, Ryan and Esposito.

Lanie looked at him suspiciously, but said 'uh-huh' while the other two nodded.

"Hey, Lanie, you gonna join us? I got you Yu Shang Pork and Shrimp Fried Rice."

_He's giving my food away?_ "Castle!" Kate huffed.

"Oh, don't worry about us, Detective. You deserve a break. I'm sure Detectives Ryan and Esposito can spare you for an hour. And they'll call you if they find anything, won't you?" The two nodded.

"See? Nothing to worry about." Castle sent Kate an insincere smile, full of chagrin. "I might even let Tink and the Lost Boys get some real work done."

_Punishment. _The realization hit Kate. _Fine_, she thought, _but I didn't invite him_! She felt like she was being forced into something she didn't want to do, yet she couldn't get out of it without causing a scene.

Kate grabbed her purse and turned to her boyfriend. "Fine. You wanna go to lunch? Let's go to lunch."

This hadn't gone exactly how Josh had planned. Kate shot down his invitation to lunch. But what really irked him was that Castle had used all his same arguments, and now, suddenly, Kate was going to lunch with him?

"Kate—"

"No, you wanted to go. Let's go."

"Are you taking that?" He asked, glancing to her hip.

"I'm on duty."

He looked disappointed, but didn't say anything else.

Kate looked over to her team. Lanie, Ryan and Esposito were sitting with confused expressions, wondering what they had missed—because there was definitely an unexpressed undercurrent to the exchange between Beckett and Castle. "I'll be back soon," she assured them.

"Have a good time," Castle called. He mocked her.

_Oh, he thinks he's won, does he?_ Her eyes glowered at him.

Josh held out his arm to Kate, but she declined. Instead, she grabbed his arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, so that he couldn't walk without feeling her service piece rub against his side.

_So, it's like that?_ Josh thought. _Great._

Castle watched as Kate thrust her hip at Josh and dug her hand into his back pocket.

_Punishment_, he thought. _Maybe not my best idea_. He could be having lunch with her, after all.

Still, some part of him felt justified. She'd earned hers as much as he'd earned his.

* * *

><p>Kate walked back into the bullpen. Ryan and Esposito where at their desks, Ryan on the phone, Esposito calling off a number to him.<p>

"Where's Castle?"

"Went home," Esposito told her, not looking up. "Said he had an idea he had to get down."

Ryan hung up. "But, before he left, he found this." He handed Beckett a sheet of paper. "None of the calls to Michaels and Brunette were from the same number. We double checked."

"And triple checked."

"But, Castle noticed that the each received several calls from these two numbers...which are the same except the last three digits."

"Corporations do that a lot…different extensions, different numbers."

"We just checked. Turns out he was right. All the calls came from Keller-Morgan Industries. These ones," Ryan pointed, "to Michaels were from a conference room extension, but these one's to Brunette, are from…"

"Wait for it…" Esposito delayed.

"Guys, just tell me."

"Extension 418 – Liz Brunette." Ryan disclosed.

"His mother?"

"Yup. Guess the Lost Boys did it again, huh?" Esposito raked.

"Thought you said Peter Pan found this?"

"Well, uh, he did. But we confirmed it." Ryan said.

"Did he gloat?"

"No, actually," Ryan said. "Hey Espo, think he's getting sick of playing Cops and Robbers with us?"

"Who Castle? Nah, bro. He loves us."

They were giving her shit, and maybe she deserved, but what was she supposed to do? Apologize? She wasn't the one who said it and it was insulting to her, too. And they didn't need to know that she just had a pretty bad, still-not-entirely-resolved fight with her boyfriend about his lack of respect for her job.

Beckett knew she had to do something to make it up to them. _Case of beer?_ No, couldn't be that obvious. That was too much acknowledgement…like admitting she'd done something wrong. _Less paperwork?_ But that meant more for her. _Ah, they could take the lead on the next interrogation._ "Bring her in. You guys can question her."

"I'm going to see Lanie. And I still want to interview Stagstad."

Lanie was emptying the equipment sterilization machine and scanning new stock into inventory. She glanced up at Kate, but kept on working. Kate waited a few moments.

"Are you mad at me, too?"

Lanie sighed and finally stopped what she was doing. She wasn't mad, she was just…disappointed?

"How was your lunch?"

"You tell me." Kate sounded irritated.

Lanie gave Kate a don't-start-with-me look. "It was fine. Next time, go with the beef and broccoli. I like it better."

"There isn't going to be a next time."

Lanie's eyes widened with glee. "Did you finally break up with Motorcycle Boy?"

"No, geez, Lanie." Kate looked down. "But we fought. And he asked me to go on vacation with him."

"Before or after you fought?"

Kate scoffed. "We were fighting the whole time, he just didn't know it." _Check your mouth, Kate._

Lanie didn't say anything for a bit, she just kept putting labels on her new test tubes. She was giving Kate time to decide whether she really wanted to have this conversation in her agitated state. Kate didn't leave so she finally asked, "Vacation, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Where?"

"South Africa."

"He's leaving again isn't he?"

"Zimbabwe. For three weeks. He leaves next Saturday. Gets back on Castle's birthday."

"Great. So he can still go with you to Castle's party. _Happy Birthday_, Castle." Kate wondered if she even bothered holding her sarcasm in check.

"What? Why do you always take his side?"

"I'm not taking anybody's side." Lanie was getting exasperated. "Why are you so worked up? Did you not get to finish your fight? Come in here lookin' to pick one with me?"

Kate sank down in her chair. That's exactly what she'd been doing and Lanie called her on it. Really, she'd wanted a go at Castle. Sometimes he was so sweet and other times she imagined things would be absolutely ferocious between them. _Wait? Why was she thinking like that? How could this make her want him? And_ w_hy was she having such difficulty forming linear thoughts? _Kate dropped her head into her hands and let her fingers scrape her scalp.

"Why'd he do it, Lanie?" Kate asked quietly, with her head still in her hands. She looked up. "If you're _so_ convinced he wants to be with me, why does he push me away like that? I didn't even want to go to lunch. Now I'm mad, you're mad. The boys are mad at me. Josh is. And Castle's either mad or sulking or both."

"I'm sure it wasn't just one thing."

"Well, what then?"

"Let me ask you this. We ate lunch in the break room…no files, very little shop talk. I have a feeling that if it were me, or your dad or Alexis, you'd have been free for lunch." She watched Kate's expression, knowing she was right. "So what red-blooded woman does not want to have lunch with her extremely hot, finally free, cardiac surgeon boyfriend?"

Kate didn't answer.

"So here's what I think. Work is an excuse. Another roadblock. Or, and I think this might be more on par, you didn't want Castle to have to see you with him?"

Kate leaned back in the chair. She could feel that burn in her nose that she'd get when tears threatened. _Why did it have to be so complicated?_ She'd given herself a shot a happiness with Josh. _Hadn't she?_ She was happy with Josh. _Wasn't she?_ Yes, but mostly happy with the way things were. She was happy to not have the pressure, to have control. _How is that diving in?_ But then Josh said "I love you." He couldn't possibly love her. _Could he? Could Castle? _Castle promises her "always," and, mostly, she believes it. _But to what does 'always' extend?_ She keeps wondering if she should break up with Josh. _But is that fair?_ Maybe it is because she's not really upset about her fight with Josh, but Castle has got her heart all amiss. What she needs is time. _I need time to think._

"Maybe I do need a vacation," Kate mused out lout, not really thinking.

Lanie was a bit shocked because she didn't think that was the way Kate was leaning. She shook her head. _It's gonna hurt when he walks away, Kate. More than before. _

* * *

><p>Castle was rummaging around in his desk drawer looking for his blue edit pen. He went through a lot of paper, but he always preferred looking at complete and near-complete versions on paper. He liked to lay it out, look it over all at once. Plus, he just liked the feel of pen and paper.<p>

He knew Kate would think he left because he was mad, because, really, when does he miss out on an interrogation if he doesn't have to? And Kate would be right, in part. He was angry, but mostly at himself. He promised himself he wouldn't push her. He'd just be there for her when she needed him. If she was happy, even if she was just pretending to be happy, he was going to let her be. He wasn't strong enough to walk away. He tried that once when he left her to Demming's care, but life had just been an echo of existence.

He couldn't do that again. It was better to be with Kate, than without. But, seeing her with Josh—who was sitting in _his_ chair—in that moment, Kate's failure to see what was between them, to admit that Dr. Motorcycle Boy wasn't what she wanted or needed enraged him. He could see she wasn't happy, and not just about Josh being there at the precinct. Why couldn't she?

In his rapacious flare-up, Rick wanted to force feed her the witch's brew she'd crafted, and ask her 'How's it taste?" But the desire to do anything that would cause Kate pain was fleeting, and immediately regretted. He knew the truth: he wanted her, all of her, and he didn't want to share. He never wanted to hurt her, though he knew he had. He would do anything for her. She needed to trust that, even if, in a momentary lapse in judgment, he had a lousy way of showing it.

With a plan to make amends, Rick focused on editing his latest addition to the Nikki Heat series.

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><p>The precinct seemed louder than normal when Castle walked in, coffees in hand. He also grabbed a bear claw today—part of his <em>K.I.S.S.<em> amends: coffee, bear claw, apology. Beckett was at her murder board, not seeming to notice the extra people and noise.

Castle passed Ryan on his way to Kate.

"What's going on in here?"

"Narcotics busted a prostitution ring. Needed extra interrogation rooms. Choufani's team's helping out with the investigation. Coufer thinks one of 'ems got to know about the murder of that Asian girl a few months ago…what was her name?"

"Sammie Carr."

"How do you do that?" Ryan asked.

"What?"

"Remember all their names?"

"It's a gift." Castle said smugly.

Esposito walked over, with Lanie in tow. "Dude, she was found in a car with Quiznos Sammies wrappers on the floor. How do you _not_ remember that?"

"Yeah. There's that, too." Castle sniggered, looking over to Kate with a sorrowful, yearning expression.

"Good luck," Lanie whispered to him, lightly patting his arm. She loved Kate, but she had a new-found sympathy for Writer Boy. She'd lost a lot of money the last couple of months betting in his favor, even when she was sure she was going to lose.

Castle walked up beside Kate. He didn't bother offering her the coffee right away. She'd just ignore it if she was still mad at him. Kate knew he was there. She'd known he was there almost immediately. His footsteps leading into the bullpen only confirmed what she sensed. They thought she was concentrated on the murder board, but really she was focused on Castle and what she wanted to say to him. She'd left the morgue yesterday feeling defeated. Exhausted. Sapped of her will to fight and be mad at Castle. That didn't mean she would back down if he started up, but she really hoped he didn't.

Kate turned to look at him, going straight for his eyes. Even in her heels she had to look up just slightly. She first noticed the bags under his eyes, making him look older and worn out. His blue eyes are darker than normal. She missed that glint in his eyes that she sees so often when she closes her own at night.

Castle was staring back at her, wanting to say something, but not really knowing what. Instead he examined her eyes which could be so expressive. He knows she can hide behind them, but she also takes so much in. She sees so much without even seeming to. He's always been impressed with Kate's ability to direct people and make demands with just her eyes.

They don't pay any attention to the audience that's standing there wondering if Mom and Dad are going to fight again. They're too busy assessing whether or not the other is still mad. Castle can see she's hardened, but from the way she's scrutinizing him, he suspects it had to do with not knowing how he feels, whether he's still angry. He stops staring so intently and lets his jaw slacken and his eyes soften.

Kate sees the moment he gives. She relaxes in response, but maintains eye contact. Her shoulders which were held back tightly in apprehension roll forward just a little. She rolled her head just a bit, letting loose the neck muscles that were taut with pride.

Castle grinned at her, spark back in his eye. Kate half smiled then, and reached for her coffee, before leaning on her desk. Castle sidled up next to her giving her a shoulder bump which she returned. Behind them, Ryan, Lanie and Esposito let out a collective sigh.

"So, what have we got?" Castle asked.

"Running two cases. Your phone number connection from yesterday turned out correct. We still don't know who killed Laura Dansk, but we at least know that each of our two primary suspects are connected. Through Liz Brunette, Drew Brunette's mother. Ryan and Esposito interviewed her yesterday. She claims Dansk was cheating on her son with Michaels, and that she called him to try to convince him to stop."

"Was money part of her powers of persuasion arsenal?"

"Yeah. But she says he wouldn't take it. Need to question Michaels and Brunette again today."

"And the Hamelin case?"

"Stagstad claims he didn't know our vic. I've got Ryan and Esposito tracking down evidence to the contrary. We'll question him again after we have it."

"So, what now?"

"We're going to talk to Michaels and Brunnette."

"You're not bringing them in?"

"Nah, want to catch them on home turf."

"'Kay. Ready when you are."

"Bathroom. Then we'll go."

Beckett left Castle where he was, still looking over the murder board. Castle heard his phone start ringing.

_Her face is a map of the world  
>Is a map of the world<br>You can see she's a beautiful girl  
>She's a beautiful girl<em>

He pulled out his phone, but there was no picture of Alexis. He looked around and saw Kate's phone dancing and bright with Alexis' picture. _Why was his daughter calling Kate? _He picked up the phone and answered, just as Beckett was coming back into the bullpen.

"Alexis?"

"Dad?"

"Yeah. It's me."

"Dad, why are you answering Kate's phone? You know she's gonna kill you."

Beckett walked to her desk seeing Castle holding his phone in one hand and talking on another. She glanced quickly to her desk and then yelled, "Castle!"

"Told you." Alexis said.

"What are you doing?"

"Your phone. It was ringing."

"Phones sometimes do."

"It was Alexis."

"Calling me. _Not _you. _You_ don't answer _my_ phone."

"You stole my ring tone."

"No. You sent it to me."

"I thought it was my phone."

"Clearly it's not. Give me my phone, Castle." She was holding out her hand expectantly. "Now."

"Just let me say 'hi'."

Castle had pocketed his phone, so Beckett reached for his now unoccupied hand.

"Phone now, Castle."

"Hold your horses."

Kate dug her thumb nail into the cuticle of his thumb nail, applying enough pressure to get his attention. She knew this simple move could bring a grown man to his knees. Maybe not as effective as a foot to the family jewels, but more discreet.

Castle yelped. Beckett smirked, and increased the pressure. "Phone."

"Ah!" Castle's body twisted in pain. Beckett increased the pressure again.

"Apples! Apples!" he cried, relinquishing the phone. "Damn, Beckett. Show a little mercy next time."

"I did. And no 'next time.' Don't answer my phone," Kate answered while pulling the phone to her ear. "Hey, Alexis. What's up?"

"I told him he was going to get hurt. Whadya do to him?"

"Cuticle pinch. Very effective. I'll teach it to you sometime."

She didn't bother shooing Castle away while she talked to Alexis. She knew it was just to confirm plans for helping her get ready for prom. She was coming early to help Alexis work on her piece for Castle, but he didn't know that. She was looking forward to both aspects.

Castle eavesdropped unabashedly, adoring Kate all the more.

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><p><strong>So what do you think? I hope you're enjoying this. I know some of you will express frustration at Josh still being in the picture, but please realize everyone else—Kate included—is too. She may be slow to make a decision, but it will be worth it. This is, after all, a love story. <strong>

**Love to know your thoughts…and if you have ideas! Thanks! And Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there—and the men and women who support and love them!**


	28. Ch 28 Promenade

**Hello all! Hope you're all good and well and happy! **

**Can't believe we're making our way to July already (real calendar…Freeze, Thaw, Reheat is still making its way to Memorial Day!)**

**This chapter and the next took a while to complete…sorry about that! Story is moving through my timeline slowly, but you all don't seem to mind the detail and dialogue so, I'm just going to stick with it and hope you don't get frustrated with me!**

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><p>Chapter 28 - Promenade<p>

"Castle?" Kate asked, in surprise, when the door swung open. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here, Detective," he reminded her with an amused expression.

Kate rolled her eyes and stepped forward, pausing briefly while Castle dropped a kiss on her cheek. She wondered again why she liked that so much.

"Kate! You're here!" She looked to see Alexis coming down the stairs.

"Yeah, I'm here." Kate smiled, dropping the bag she carried at the foot of the floating stairs. Alexis met her at the bottom of the stairs and enveloped her in a big hug. "Didn't think he was going to be though," she said quietly to Alexis.

"I think he changed plans when he found out you were going to be here."

"Sorry, thought he knew."

"I didn't tell him because I figured he do that. And I didn't want to draw attention to _not_ wanting him here."

"Well, I'm glad I didn't bring my guitar."

Kate looked up when something flying through the air caught her eye. Then she noted the large boxes in the living room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Chucking Styrofoam," Castle answered as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"He already popped all the bubble wrap." Alexis explained. Kate looked around, confused.

"Castle, did you buy a new TV?"

"Yeah!" Castle said, making his way to her. He grabbed her arm, and quickly drew her to the couch, pushing her back slightly so she fell heavily on the cushion.

"Check this out!" he said, oblivious to her glare at being man-handled. "Smart TV. Internet-capable—so we can Goggle from right here." Castle plopped a wireless keyboard into her hands. "NetFlix streaming. Plus, I have a box, so we can stream any movie, not just the Watch Instantly ones. Not to mention Madden and Grand Theft Auto."

"Thrilling."

He paused and looked around, finally pulling glasses out of another box before putting them on Kate. "See? 3-D!"

"It's not 3-D, Castle."

"Yes it is."

"No, Dad. You have to switch it to the 3-D movie."

"Oh, right."

Kate took off the glasses. "Castle, why—"

"Oh, but you haven't seen the best part. Check this out!" Castle grabbed his iPad from the coffee table. "Look, we can project stuff onto the screen from the laptop or this." He made a few movements on the iPad, and all of a sudden there was a timeline across the top. A fake-vic's pic and some scribbles Castle was adding showed up in real-time. He looked over at Kate and grinned. "A virtual murder board. Even cooler than Shaw's."

Kate had to admit, it was pretty cool. "Wow," Kate said, shaking her head "I can't believe my murder board still isn't enough for you. I feel so irreverent and unwanted."

"Beck_-ett_," Castle whined.

"No, Castle," Kate made like she was going to get up. "I understand. We're not good enough for you." She turned to look at Alexis, who was looking anxious until she saw Kate's sly smile.

"No. I—but—Esposito—wait. Your board is fine. I like your board. I _love_ your board. But now I have one, too…and we can switch to a movie if we need a break."

Kate picked up the iPad while Castle was stuttering through his explanation and wrote "just messing with you" followed by a smiley face.

"Castle," she nodded to the screen as she finished drawing the smiley face. He looked up and read what she wrote.

"Oh, uh, right." He turned to look at her. "So, it is cool, right?"

She wrote "Yes" on the iPad. "Still not sure why you needed a new TV though. Your other one was perfectly fine."

She turned to look at him, but he wouldn't make eye contact and was slightly flushed. "Castle."

"Hmm?"

"What's this have to do with Esposito?"

"Huh? What? Nothing?"

"You said 'Esposito' earlier."

"No I didn't."

"Dad, you're a horrible liar. What did you do?"

Beckett narrowed her eyes at him. "C'mon Castle."

"What? I didn't do anything bad."

"We're not saying you did," Alexis assured him.

"It's just…okay, fine. I heard him complaining about the sound going on his TV. I figure it must have gotten worse since the last time I was over there."

"And?" Beckett prodded.

"_And_ I knew he wouldn't let me buy him a new TV. Man, I knew I should have gone with the raffle!"

"Huh?"

"Well, now it's gonna look like I'm trying to give him my hand-me downs."

Kate missed a beat when she realized what he meant. "So you bought a new TV just so you could offer your other one to Esposito?"

"Well, yeah. Plus, it's cool. But I should have just gotten Esposito the same one and let him think he won it. Oh, this is bad. What am I going to do?"

"Dad, it's not bad."

Kate wasn't sure she'd ever met someone so generous. He had the means, yes, but it wasn't just that. It was the little things he'd do for people. The _Temptation Lane_ photo for her, flowers for Lanie, pie for everyone on Pie Day (which she'd never heard of until three years ago). The other day he gave Koenig's son tickets to Spider-Man on Broadway just because the six-year old was so fascinated with Spider-Man. Castle thought he'd get a kick out of seeing him 'fly' in real-life. Kate was surprised he didn't want to see it himself, but he said he'd been given the tickets back in January when it was originally set to open. He said the tickets were for speaking at an event, but now Kate wondered.

"I agree Castle. It's a sweet thought. And I get that you're looking out for his pride, but trust me, tricking him would be much worse. At least this way, he can still decline."

"So, how 'bout it? Wanna watch a movie with me?"

"Dad, she's not here for you. You see her all the time."

"You've seen her more than me lately."

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is. You had her _all day _Sunday!"

Kate's head bounced back and forth between the two. She didn't know whether to be appalled or astounded. She literally had no words. She supposed with Rick around, Alexis couldn't help but be pulled into childish arguments sometimes.

"But I brought her home with me! And I haven't seen her since."

"And we are thankful, Dear," Martha said from behind them. "But, Goodness, you two. You're embarrassing the poor girl."

The both looked at Kate, who was definitely a shade brighter than before. They each mumbled, "Sorry, Kate."

"Richard, I wonder if I might have a word?" Castle was going to get the best behavior lecture for when Ashley showed up tonight.

"Come on, Kate. Let's escape while we can." Alexis smiled and led Kate up to her room.

On the way up, Alexis showed her the results of the mani-pedi she'd had done earlier. Kate was glad she at least had the opportunity to do that with her friends, but she felt a little bit bad for her. She knew Alexis was missing out on getting ready with her girlfriends—who were all leaving with their dates from Paige's house. Alexis had been thrilled when Kate offered to come help her get ready.

Kate put her bag on the bed and started pulling out stuff. Alexis noticed she had extra boots and another outfit with her. Kate explained that she was going out and thought she'd just get ready with Alexis. Sure, she'd be done hours before she'd actually be leaving, but it would be more fun for Alexis, and it would be just as easy since it was a convenient meeting place for Lanie, Jenny and Madison.

While Kate curled Alexis' hair, Alexis talked about their plans for dinner, Ashley's tux and the boutonniere she picked out. Alexis had been to prom before, but she told Kate if felt different this time, especially since she loved Ashley and he was graduating and would be leaving for college soon. Kate asked more about her friends, studies and told Alexis some stories from her own high school days.

Kate finished curling Alexis' hair, asking her how she wanted to wear it? Alexis wasn't sure, so Kate suggested she put her dress on first. Kate curled her own hair while waiting. When Alexis came back in, Kate was again impressed by how well the dress suited Alexis. Lanie had been right.

"Well, your hair looks great just like that, Lex. But, I'm thinking you might want it half up, half down, especially for the after party. Are you changing clothes or staying in your prom dress all night?"

"I think you're right. I packed clothes, but I don't know. I'll probably wait and see what my friends do."

Kate motioned for Alexis to sit down in front of her facing the bathroom mirror. She pulled Alexis curls back, so that it draped back between her shoulders, but gave her lots of body on top. She left only a few soft tendrils down to frame Alexis' face.

"Will you do my make-up, too?"

"Of course. That's what I'm here for."

She looked at Alexis. "So what's it gonna be? A tribute to Heath Ledger's Joker, Adam Lambert look-alike or crazy cat eyes?"

Alexis laughed. "I was kind of hoping more for Kate Beckett's smokey eye special."

Kate cocked her eyebrow at Alexis. "Oh, Alexis…I don't think..." Kate watched as Alexis' face dropped a bit. "Well, I brought my makeup, Lex, but I think it's probably too dark to go with your dress…not to mention your complexion."

"What would you need?"

"I'm not sure exactly…let's look through what you have."

Kate and Alexis rummaged through her eye makeup, but only found shimmery metallics and brighter colors. "I don't think we have what we need to do what you want."

"That's okay. Maybe next time."

"Wait..." Kate looked up at Alexis. "How many actresses do you know that _don't_ have a crap-load of makeup?"

"Well," Alexis grinned, catching on. She put her index finger to her chin. "Now that you mention it. I know a few actresses…and I happen to live with one who wouldn't be caught dead without her face painted on."

"Right. Wait here."

Kate stepped out of Alexis' room and called for Martha, seeing if she was in her room. When she didn't answer, she looked downstairs, where Martha was reading a script in the armchair.

"Martha?" she called.

"Yes, Dear?"

Kate smiled. The woman was regal, even in the way she turned her attention to another. "We require your expertise." Kate paused, then grinned. "And your makeup."

"Well, then! Let's not keep Cinderella waiting!"

When Martha joined them in the bathroom, she looked Alexis over. "You look lovely, dear. So fresh-faced. You don't need any makeup to be the most beautiful thing there."

Alexis blushed. "Your Gram's right. Your skin's flawless. Have you ever even had a zit?"

"Ha—too many." Alexis turned to her grandmother. "Kate's going to make eyes look all dramatic like she does to hers."

"But, my makeup is too dark for Alexis and she only has brighter stuff." Kate glanced to the case Martha carried in. "We're hoping you might have something that will work."

"Well, I have a whole arsenal, and you are, of course, welcome to it." Martha looked wistfully over the scene before her. She was happy that Alexis was getting the girl time she so often missed out on. She sometimes wished she could do this for Alexis, but she realized that Alexis needed her to be the grandmother, a sometimes shelter from her overprotective father. So, unconventional though she was, that's what she was for Alexis, and she never tried to be anything else. She didn't mother her; she cared for her like a grandmother would and should.

"Have fun, my dears," Martha said, turning to leave the two alone.

"Wait. Where are you going?"

"Well—"

"It's just…I don't know what colors to use on Alexis and you two have the same coloring. I was hoping you'd stay."

Martha looked to Kate and Alexis, who were looking back at her hopefully. For whatever reason, she hadn't expected to be included and it hadn't bothered her in the least. But knowing that they wanted her there made her feel young and needed and, well…wanted. She wondered if Kate knew how much she was giving to this family.

"Yeah, Gram. Plus…you've never told me about _your_ prom."

"Ah, my prom, hmm?" Martha asked digging in her makeup console. Kate thought it was easily the size of her dad's tackle box, if not larger, but in moments, Martha had expertly selected three different shades and an eye pencil that Kate knew would work flawlessly together. "Well, let's start with the most important thing: the fashion. I wore this absolutely hideous blue ruffled number. I swear, I don't know what I was thinking!"

Martha continued to regale them with stories about her prom, stopping occasionally to reminisce. While holding up jewelry for Martha's approval and working on Alexis face, the younger two were awed at the trouble Martha had gotten in to.

"Martha, you have to stop making us laugh so much! Alexis is in tears and I'm going to fudge this up." Kate stopped herself. "Okay…break for you. Dry your eyes. I'm going to do my eyes and you can watch. Then maybe you can try your own?"

Alexis and Martha both leaned in to watch what she was doing.

Kate was bent over the sink, not explaining what she was doing entirely, but going slow enough for Alexis to follow. "Wow. This is weird. Never had an audience before."

Without Kate realizing, Rick chose that moment to appear in Alexis bathroom sporting a video camera. He noticed Kate leaned over the sink and zoomed in on her ass.

"Dad!" Rick jumped. "What are you doing?"

Rick kept filming. "I heard a lot of laughing thought I'd catch the pre-party party."

Kate glared at him from the mirror. "Castle! That better not be pointed where I think it is!"

"Honestly, Richard. Have you no shame?"

"What'd you expect?"

"Privacy!" Alexis answered, shoving him out of the bathroom.

"What? You're kicking me out?"

"Yes!" all three chorused.

Kate turned back to the mirror.

"Such an opportunist!" Alexis exclaimed. Kate smirked.

"We really can't blame him, Sweetie," Martha said, appraising Kate's backside. Kate blushed. "No need to be embarrassed, Dear. Embrace it!"

"Gram!"

"We're goddesses! We are meant to be worshipped."

"Martha, you're..."

"Too much?"

"I was gonna say 'something else.'"

"What?"

"No, I mean, I was gonna say, 'You're something else.'"

"Yeah. She's definitely 'something else.' Broke the mold. Can't find another one like her." Alexis teased.

"As it should be my loves, but I could say the same for the pair of you!"

By the time they were done in the bathroom, Kate had finished her makeup and did one of Alexis' eyes on the promise that Alexis would do the other—which she did just fine. Kate also finished her hair and re-perfumed. Since she still had a few hours, she decided to stay in her jeans and tee until it was about time to go. No need to torment Castle.

Rick had insisted that they let him film the big reveal, so Martha and Kate went downstairs to tell him Alexis was ready. Castle was there, video camera in hand as Alexis came down the stairs. She looked every bit the princess he'd always imagined her to be.

Kate watched Rick as he watched his daughter. She was moved by the pride and devotion that emanated from his expression. After Alexis made it to the bottom of the stairs and twirled for her father, he stopped filming and wrapped her in a huge hug, picking her up off the ground.

"You're look so beautiful…and grown up." He tilted his daughter's chin up. "I think it's the eyes…makes you look older." He frowned a bit in consternation, realizing Ashley wasn't going to think she looked older. He was going to think she looked sexy as hell.

Kate knew what Castle was thinking as he looked Alexis over. Maybe she didn't know he was envisioning her with pigtails on her first day of school, but she knew he was thinking about Alexis getting older, not needing him so much. And probably about Ashley and how he wanted to warn him to keep his hands to himself.

Martha watched Kate and noticed the way her features softened as she watched her son. It wasn't just when he was with Alexis. She'd watched them work cases together on the couch late into the night. They'd had movie nights and poker nights. Martha wondered how much longer they would wait to accept what was between them. Rather, she knew Richard was waiting, Kate was, as yet, unwilling—but she trusted that the detective had her reasons and accepted that her son's ardent nature and reputation were likely factors in her hesitation. Kate would figure it out in her own time.

Ashley arrived right on time, looking dashing in his ivory tux. Going on Lanie's advice that black would clash, he let Alexis help pick out his tux without ruining the surprise of her dress. They'd even managed to find an ascot tuxedo tie in the exact same color of green as the sash on Alexis' dress. Ashley wore it with a pearl pin at the base of the neck.

Of course, Rick caught it all on video, including Alexis' dash to the refrigerator to get Ashley's boutonniere. It was cute to see her nervous. After they exchanged flowers and a discreet kiss, and were just about to leave to make it to their dinner reservations, Castle stopped them. He passed the camera off to Martha, who immediately zoomed out to get a shot of all four of them.

"Alexis, Sweetie," Castle said giving his daughter one more hug, "thank you for giving me this moment."

"Aw, Dad. Not just for you. For posterity," she said nodding slightly to the camera.

"Blackmail. It _will _embarrass you someday."

Alexis laughed.

"But, seriously, I know you missed out on the limo with all your friends—"

"Dad, I've been in a limo before."

"I know, but still…" Castle dangled some keys up in front of the two. "I was hoping this might help make up for it."

"Seriously?" Alexis squealed. "The Ferrari?"

"Well, you know…" Castle handed the keys to Ashley. "Have fun. Be safe. Secure parking."

"Oh, uh, Mr. Castle, I don't think—"

"Ashley, don't worry about it. I checked with your parents. I know you know how to drive a stick."

"It's just a…it's your really _sweet_ car. I don't want—"

"Ashley, I trust you with my daughter and she's a helluva lot more important than some car. You'll be fine. Car will be fine. Now, go, before you're late. Show my daughter a good time!"

After another round of hugs, and Alexis again thanking Kate and Kate again telling Alexis how beautiful she looked, Castle and Kate stepped back. Without thinking about the gesture, Castle put his arm around Kate's shoulders and pulled her closer. She rubbed his back, letting him know he'd done a good thing and offering him support as he watched his baby girl leave on an important date, one they both knew she'd always remember.

After the lovebirds left promising to have fun, Kate and Rick turned to look at each other, smiling. Castle realized he still had his arm around her shoulders. He hadn't reached out to her intentionally, and was surprised she hadn't balked at the gesture, even returned it. Not wanting to draw attention to their present position Castle dropped his arm and turned toward the kitchen.

Castle smiled at her, but not teasingly. "Come on, Detective. I'll make you dinner." Noticing Martha still with the video camera, he winked at her. "Mother, you staying?"

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><p><strong>So, folks? Whatchya think? Leave me a note? THANKS for reading and reviewing!<strong>


	29. Ch 29 Sugar & Spice

**Hiya Folks! Thanks for all the great reviews. I really love hearing from you! **

**Enjoy this next section! I did!**

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><p>Chapter 29 – Sugar &amp; Spice<p>

_After the lovebirds left promising to have fun, Kate and Rick turned to look at each other, smiling. Castle realized he still had his arm around her shoulders. He hadn't reached out to her intentionally, and was surprised she hadn't balked at the gesture, even returned it. Not wanting to draw attention to their present position Castle dropped his arm and turned toward the kitchen. _

_Castle smiled at her, but not teasingly. "Come on, Detective. I'll make you dinner." Noticing Martha still with the video camera, he winked at her. "Mother, you staying?"_

"No, Dear," she said, setting the camera down. "I'm off. Don't wait up!" She pulled Kate into a light hug. "See you soon, Darling."

Kate trailed Rick into the kitchen. "What are you making? I'll help."

"I have water boiling for pasta."

Kate looked at all the ingredients on the counter. "You're making your salsa."

"And guac."

"I love your salsa."

"Not too spicy?" Rick looked at her questioningly. He liked it hotter than most of his guests.

"Sometimes." Kate admitted.

"Can't handle the heat, Detective."

"I like to _taste_ my food. Burning off the taste buds doesn't help with that. Anyway, it's the cilantro that makes it." Rick smiled at her.

"Yeah, my favorite part, too."

"What can I help with?"

"Don't really need any help. Go relax."

Kate watched Rick. "Can't. I could make the salsa."

"You're just trying to get my recipe."

"You won't share?"

"The salsa. Not the recipe."

"Why not?"

"How would I entice you to poker night?"

Kate made a face at him.

"Really, Beckett. Go sit down. I've got it."

"Garlic bread?"

Rick sighed, realizing she wasn't going to give up. "Freezer."

Kate brushed past Rick to dig in the freezer for the package of garlic bread. She turned to the cupboard for a cookie sheet.

"What's Martha doing tonight?" she asked.

"Most of the time I'd say 'I don't want to know'," Rick answered, stirring the pasta sauce. "But tonight? Rehearsal. After? I don't want to know."

Kate reached past Rick to turn on the oven. She noticed an empty jar on the counter.

"Richard Castle, are _you_—one of my favorite new chefs and food snob extraordinaire—using canned, mass-made pasta?" She turned to face Rick, unaware how close she was standing to him until her right breast bushed his arm when she turned. She was so hyperaware of him she hoped he wouldn't notice the way her nipples were suddenly more pronounced under her tee.

"Why, yes, Detective, I am!"

"I'm shocked!" Kate answered with mock astonishment.

"Trust me. I was, too. I picked this up when I was in the Hamptons…just wanted something quick. But this stuff tastes _so _good, I don't even have to doctor it up. Expensive, but _totally_ worth it!"

Kate was about to ask him what it was, when Rick turned to her with a spoon. He blew on it absentmindedly, and held it to her. Kate leaned forward, mouth slightly open. Rick watched her in fascination. _How could something so simple as the parting of her lips be so utterly sexy?_ Kate felt Rick still and stopped moving herself. She looked up to him and noticed him staring at her lips. She unconsciously bit the inside of her lip and saw his eyes darken even more. She fought to keep her eyes from dropping, but when his lips twitched it sent her eyes downward.

For only the span of a moment, Kate closed her eyes, her heartbeat drumming in her ears. Instead of thinking of all the reasons not to kiss him, she was thinking again of what it was like having his lips on hers, his hand on her lower back pulling her closer. Another in her hair. She opened her eyes again. Rick's lips were pressed tightly together. Her eyes shifted quickly to Rick's. Where hers were now filled with want, his were frosted with detachment. She wasn't his to kiss.

Rick lowered the spoon a little in defeat, spurring Kate into action. She dipped her finger into the spoon's basin and popped it into her mouth. Rick averted his eyes. She knew she had to get out of there, give them some space.

"You're right, Castle. It is really good," she said turning away. "I'm going to…set the table." But she left the kitchen altogether, in the direction of the bathroom.

Rick spooned the pasta into the sauce. Kate and thoughts of her had become so pervasive in his life that he didn't know how to separate himself from her. He didn't really want to, but he was so, so afraid of pushing her away. Even now, she had escaped to the bathroom. He counted himself lucky that she was already committed to meeting Lanie and Jenny here later, or she'd have probably found some excuse that she needed to leave. He struggled with himself. He'd never tested his willpower to such an extent before, and he was genuinely worried it would fail him. Especially when she looked at him as if she wanted him, too. He knew what lust looked like, but this was something more.

Kate came back, interrupting his thoughts. She turned to the cupboard to pull out plates, but he handed her two already laden with pasta and garlic bread. She looked at him, questioningly.

"Thought we'd eat in the living room. I want to play with the TV." He said with a boyish grin. Still, she could tell it wasn't without effort that he tried to pull them back into their normal routine.

"Boys and their toys," Kate muttered, rolling her eyes, making her own effort.

They ate dinner in a semi-companionable silence. When they were through, Kate insisted on taking care of their dishes and cleaning up. While Castle was finishing up his salsa and setting up a few things for poker, she grabbed a book from his collection and sunk into the cushions.

Forty minutes later, Castle stood looking down at her, curious at how out of place the dark eye shadow looked against her creamy skin when her eyes were closed. She looked so peaceful and unfettered. Her eyelids contrasted with the rest of her relaxed pose—even her casual attire and soft curls. The way she was laying, she'd have to redo her hair when she woke up. As he draped the throw over her, Rick hoped she wouldn't be mad at him for not waking her up.

* * *

><p>Kate awoke to quiet voices. She stretched a little and felt the blanket that was draped over her skid over her breasts. She didn't remember grabbing a blanket, but then again, she didn't remember stretching out on Castle's excessively plush couch or falling asleep. She certainly hadn't set her book on the coffee table. She looked behind her to see Jenny, Ryan and Lanie and Castle sitting at the poker table behind her. She put her hand to her hair and grumbled internally.<p>

"God, Rick," she groaned. "What time is it? Why didn't you wake me up?" Kate didn't like the idea of waking up in front of her friends, especially Ryan and Esposito—with bed head, no less—after falling asleep on Castle's couch. It was grounds for harassment. _Actually_, Kate thought, _it'll be Lanie._

Rick got up and moved closer to Beckett. "Just after nine. You were sleeping; figured you needed it. Besides, Madison and Todd aren't even here yet." He smiled apologetically.

"When did you guys get here?"

"Just a little bit ago," Jenny answered, standing up. She glanced to Ryan and pulled him to his feet.

"Before everyone else gets here..." Ryan said, "We, uh, wanted to ask..." He stood with Jenny in front of him, looking nervous.

"You're like family to Kevin, and, I feel like, to me, too, even though I really haven't known you all that long. And I know you all have his back, and, well, we don't see how we could let the most important day of our lives go by without..."

"You know, Javi's my best man," Ryan continued, "but we'd like you guys to stand up with us, too. It'll be a big wedding party if you say yes, but, like she said, you're family…and really we spend more time with you guys—and like you better—than most of our blood relatives. It just wouldn't be the same without you."

Lanie, Rick and Kate were all smiling at the couple, but they still seemed nervous.

Jenny sped forward, not giving them a chance to answer. "So, I guess, really we're not asking. You don't have a choice. But I promise," she smiled, "No hideous bridesmaids' dresses."

"That's great! I can totally rock the frock. I've got great legs!" Castle turned to Lanie and Kate. "You girls are gonna be so jealous!"

Kate laughed and hugged Jenny. "Please, please make him wear a hideous dress. Me? I want something classy."

"Yeah, no tents, no neon yellow and I'm in," Lanie added, also hugging Jenny. "You know what this means?" she asked looking at the girls. "Shopping!"

"Why do I have no doubt you've actually worn a dress and heels?" Ryan asked, shaking Castle's hand.

"Because you know me," Rick answered, leaning in to kiss Jenny's cheek. "I'm honored," he said. "And, I think it's safe to say the answer would have been yes from all of us, you know, if it had been a question."

"Really?" Ryan asked. "'Cause I had to threaten Esposito into a penguin suit and I know Beckett's complained about being a bridesmaid before."

"Hey! That's only—well mostly—because they wanted an extra body. It's different when you actually care about the people getting married and you know they're not headed straight for divorce court."

"That sounds like a lie," Jenny said pointedly.

"I'm telling you, Ryan," Esposito said, reentering the room. "She should be the detective. You're gonna have to step it up or I'm making Jenny my new partner."

"Like she'd wanna work with you," Lanie kidded.

"Que buena, Chica," Esposito sidled up next to Lanie and wrapped his arms around her. "You know you like working with me."

Lanie turned in his arms to kiss him. "Can´t say I mind having a live one in my morgue every now and then."

The rest of the group groaned.

Kate started for the stairs. "I'm gonna go get ready."

"I'll come with you," Lanie said. "Jenny, you coming?"

"Think I'm going to use the bathroom. Rick?"

Castle directed her to the half bath back behind the floating stairs as Lanie and Kate made their way up to Alexis' room.

"You're not fooling me. I know you just wanted to see the rest of the loft."

"So?"

Kate pointed on the way up. "Guest bedroom, extra bath. Martha's room. And this is Lex's. They share a joint bathroom."

"Writer-Boy's room is downstairs?"

"Do you see any more doors?"

"He have a master bath, too?"

"Yeah."

"You seen it?" Kate's condescending glare answered her question. "This place is huge. Alexis' room is bigger than my master."

"Yeah. Thing about Lex though, is, she doesn't care. Not snooty at all. Rick's done a good job of keeping her grounded—even if he's not always."

"Rick."

"Hmm?"

"Rick. You've called him that twice tonight."

Kate didn't say anything. She just stepped into the bathroom. She'd called him Rick before—even if Lanie hadn't heard it too often. Plus, they were at his house. Still, as she was changing, she reminded herself: _Castle_. Beckett changed into her dark blue jeans. Lanie and Jenny had opted for dresses. She hoped she wasn't the only one wearing jeans. She shimmied into her top.

It was a white corset style top with a black lace overlay, but where the corset stopped above her breasts, the black lace continued, so her chest and upper back were covered, and the lace ran down the length of her arms. The back was open until the corset came together in a two-inch strip at her lower back. Kate finished the outfit with a couple of bracelets and a studded black leather belt.

Kate opened the door to have Lanie zip her up. Then she turned to the mirror to fix up her hair and touch up her face. Lanie looked around. "Girl's got a lot of makeup."

Kate laughed. "That's Martha's."

Kate packed up her clothes in the bag she brought and sat on Alexis' bed to pull on her boots. She pulled her pant legs down and stood, ready to go. She knew she wouldn't be taking her bag with her, so she plopped it in the guest room for the time being so that it was at least our of Alexis' way.

Castle watched Kate and Lanie walk into the living room. Well, he was aware of Lanie. He watched Kate. Leather and lace. From where he stood at the bar, he could see her bare back and was appreciating her good looks—until Esposito nudged him in the side.

"Hey guys! You made it!" Kate said.

"Hey, Becks! Lookin' good."

Kate laughed, looking at her friend, who was looking good in her own black dress. "Thanks. I didn't realize it was dress night tonight, though. I feel underdressed."

"I believe that would be overdressed, Beckett," Castle said handing Kate a drink. "Would it kill you to show a little leg?"

Lanie laughed. "I think the problem there, Writer-Boy, is that it might kill you."

"Becks, huh?" Ryan asked.

"Unless you are a tall, heel-wearing blonde who graduated with me, you _do not_ get to call me that!"

Beckett looked around at her friends sitting around Castle's living room. He'd made everyone drinks, looked like mojitos and Long Island iced teas. Hers was a Madras—one of the drinks he knew she favored. Lanie asked about Alexis and prom. Before Rick could answer, Kate was gushing, passing her phone around for everyone to see pictures. Her favorite was one of Alexis and Castle, before Ashley got there.

"God, I remember my first prom," Ryan said. "My date was pretty, but nothing like that. I can't believe you let her out of the house, Castle."

"Tell me about it. Mother and Beckett wouldn't even let me threaten him."

Ryan turned to Jenny. "Let's _never_ have girls."

"I'm a girl. You wouldn't want one of sweet little me?" Jenny asked, batting her eyebrows innocently.

"Oh, I'd want a one of you. But I wouldn't want one of me looking at or thinking about or—Holy Mary!—_touching_ one of you."

Everyone but Castle, who tensed beside Kate, laughed at his seriousness—and Kevin's seriousness made Kate realize that, in reality, it wouldn't be too long before the Ryan family would likely grow.

"Well, now you know how her Dad feels," Madison said. "I remember my Dad went nuts when my date showed up for prom. 'Course, he wasn't all that promising a guy and he was right to be worried."

"Senior prom?" Kate asked. Madison nodded. "He _was_ a jerk!"

"How 'bout you, Kate?" Jenny asked. "How was your prom?"

"Which one?" Madison asked. "She went to, what was it, Becks? Six?"

"Yeah."

"Really, Beckett? Six proms?" Castle asked.

"At our school, prom was only for juniors and seniors, but they could invite anyone. Becks was the only freshman at prom our first year of high school."

"That's not true. Erica Powell was there, too."

"That's only four." Castle deduced.

"I went to prom with guys from other schools junior and senior year."

"But were you a good girl?" Esposito asked.

"You'll never know, Esposito."

"Come on, Kate." Lanie backed him up.

"We could just ask Madison." Castle said.

"But Maddie wouldn't want me to retaliate. All I'll say is my dad hated all of my dates."

"Grunge rocker? Was he one of 'em?" Castle asked looking between Kate and Madison.

"You wanna share, Castle? Why don't you tell us about _your _prom? Long, leggy blonde, right?" Kate's question carried with it the slightest hint of contempt, like she didn't really want to know the answer.

"I didn't go to prom."

"What? Why not?" Jenny asked.

"It's true. I started dating a girl—Kyra, actually—a few weeks before my prom and asked her, but we got to talking and realized it was the same night as her prom—and she'd already asked a friend to go with her."

"So," the ever insightful Lanie asked, "you had to stand by and watch while someone you cared about went on a date with someone else?"

It wasn't lost on Castle what she was getting at and he felt Kate shift slightly next to him. He didn't want to ruin the whole mood. "They were friends. It was already arranged. Besides, I've been to more than my fair share of extravagant parties and limo rides."

"Well, I guess you've got a point," Jenny said. "If it's any consolation, Kate, my daddy hated my dates, too. But, he should have never let me go to prom. I did the typical prom night thing. Gave it up."

Maddie laughed. "You were so innocent. I had nothing left to give come prom night."

Todd spoke up, "Me, too. Well, I mean, I got it prom night. From two girls."

Rick wasn't handling this conversation well. He was extremely tense, and his right leg was bobbing up and down in agitation. Kate put her hand on his leg to still him, jarring him from all the images he didn't want to conjure about his daughter, but couldn't stop. Conversation swirled around them, while Kate tried to reassure him, without saying anything.

"Mega chingón, Bro." Esposito fist bumped Todd. Lanie smacked him.

"What? And you were an angel prom night? All you girls were, right? The boys were to blame?"

"I didn't say that, but my boyfriend at the time already had a certain, shall we say, "level of expectation"? Didn't mean I was too happy when he tried to take me to a cheap motel before our after-prom party."

"Well, I _was_ an angel. Picked my date up right on time, corsage in hand. Shook her mom's hand. Promised to have her home at a decent hour and followed through."

"So, either she shut you down or you took your cousin." Ryan badgered his partner.

"She turned him down," Lanie confirmed."_Big time._"

"It was okay. Went to a party and hooked-up my friend's sister. She was home from college. Taught me lots of new tricks."

Lanie turned to find Kate's hand on Castle's leg, the two staring each other down. It wasn't their eye-sex thing; it was something else. Kate heard someone say her name, but didn't look away from Castle. Rick inhaled a sharp breath.

"Rick you need to calm down," she whispered to him. "Alexis is nothing like we were. If she does something wrong, it'll be something like putting her elbows on the table at dinner."

"I'm not worried about _her_," he hissed. He jumped up and pointed at Todd, Esposito and Ryan. "I'm worried about _him_ and _him_ and Ashley and—"

Kate jumped up beside him before he could finish. "Castle! Office! _Now!_" She pushed at his shoulders, urging him to his office and shut the door behind them.

"Does she always order him around like that?" Todd asked.

"Yes." Everyone answered in unison.

After a pause, Ryan added, "But he's also the only one she listens to."

"Castle, what the hell is the matter with you? Alexis is a good girl. So perfect. I mean, you have the kind of daughter who stayed home instead of going out with her friends so you could be there when her date picked her up. And you know Ashley's a good kid who cares about her."

Kate was a little riled up, but Castle was by no means relaxed. "Beckett, it's my job to worry about her."

"Worrying about her is one thing, but acting like bad choices are a given is another. If you don't start trusting her, you're going to push her away!"

Castle spun around. "What are you? Projecting? I am her father. I cannot help but worry about every possible scenario. I have to be prepared."

"Prepared? _Why?_ Say she makes a mistake, Castle. Say she gets horribly drunk and comes home pregnant. Are you going to love her any less?" Kate was talking with her hands.

"No, of course not."

"Exactly! You're still going to be there. You're still going to support her and you'll love her no matter what. She needs to know that."

"She knows that, Kate." His voice was low. _Did Beckett think he was a bad father? Did Alexis say something to her?_

Kate sighed, heaving out the last of her agitation. "She does. Yes. I'm sorry, Rick. That's not what I meant." Kate walked over to him and put her hand on his arm. When she knew he wouldn't look away, she added "Rick, she also knows you are terrified of letting her go. You can't hold her back forever."

Rick sighed in defeat. "What am I supposed to do? I know what you're saying, but she's my baby girl. I can't just throw her to the wolves."

Kate signed along with him, and put her arms around his shoulders. "How about start with tonight? Hmm?" She rubbed his shoulders, trying to get him to relax. "They'll hold hands, they'll dance. They'll kiss—nothing you haven't seen before." Kate pulled him closer, and moved with him the way teenagers dance, with her cheek to his. "It'll be nothing less innocent than this, okay?" she whispered. "You just need to trust that."

Castle squeezed his arms around her, loving the feel of her against him and the bare skin at her back. He was thinking about how easily he could take this from innocent to not so innocent. "Thanks, Kate."

Kate pulled back, with Castle's arms still at her waist. "Think you can keep from imagining all evil the rest of the night?"

"Think I'm good." The warmth in his belly was going to carry him through the night.

"Good, 'cause we have to go."

They stepped out of the office to hear their friends groaning. "That is so nasty, yo."

"What's nasty?" Castle asked Esposito.

"Jenny."

"Not _me_. My college roommate."

"What about her?"

"Oh, yeah. You gotta tell them. This is definitely Caskett flavored." Ryan said.

"This I gotta hear," Castle said rubbing his hands together.

"Caskett?" Maddie asked.

"That's their shipper name." Ryan answered.

"Since when do we have a shipper name?" Beckett asked.

"Since the _Temptation Lane_ case."

"And don't think we haven't heard you call us Esplanie." Lanie added.

"You mean Castle."

"Same diff."

"I want a shipper name," Jenny said to Ryan.

"Kinda hard with a hyphenated last name." Ryan explained.

"You used Lanie's first name."

"Castle did it."

"Castle, I want a shipper name. I'm holding my story hostage until I get one."

Castle thought a moment. "Kenny? No. Keviffer? Jenvin? Ooh, I know. Ryenny!"

"Ryenny?" Ryan asked.

Jenny smiled. "Yeah, okay. I can work with that."

"So, genital herpes, glass eye. On with it." Esposito said.

"And quick, so we can go," Lanie added.

"All right. So, my first college roommate had cancer when she was thirteen that caused her to lose her right eye. But she had a glass eye in its place, which she could pop in and out by scrunching her muscles a certain way."

"Okay..." Castle said, following along with anticipation.

"So, we're in college and I've only known her a few weeks. But she likes showing everybody this trick. Apparently, it was a popular trick among her friends in high school, too. But her eye or eye socket or whatever starts irritating her. She's scared her cancer's coming back and she doesn't know anyone around here, so she asks me to go to the doctor with her."

Jenny looks around. Everyone else is smiling or grimacing, already knowing what's coming.

"About a week later, they call her with test results and ask her to come in. She asks me to go with her again and, scared that they're going to tell her that her cancer is back, she insists that I stay in the room with her. The doctor's official diagnosis? Genital herpes of the eye. Turns out she let her date to senior prom screw her in the eye socket."

"That's disgusting!" Kate exclaimed.

"Yeah, kinda gives new meaning to 'screwing your brains out' doesn't it?" Ryan asked.

"And for the record, not Caskett-flavored."

"Speak for yourself. Again, truth is stranger than fiction. No way I'd have come up with something that messed up. But I'm totally using it."

"Castle, if Nikki Heat ends up with a glass eye, I will _never_ speak to you again."

"No, not Nikki…murder victim. Ooh, if she died, could you charge him with murder?"

"Not unless it was malicious intent."

"Oh, but imagine if it were, and Nikki found evi—"

"Castle, we're leaving now. Come on, Ladies, or he'll have us all trying to act something out. Given where his head is, I don't want to be here for that."

Everyone headed for the door, with the men escorting their girls. Kate had her hand on the door knob, ready to go. When everyone else was ready, Kate pulled the door open a bit, only to pause when Lanie, Maddie and Jenny all turned back to their guys for one final kiss. Kate rolled her eyes, not really noticing Castle step toward her. That is, until she felt his warm lips high on her cheekbone, at the corner of her right eye. Kate closed her eyes briefly and her hand went to Castle's hip, like she was accustomed to this holding him there and receiving his kiss.

"Castle!" Kate throttled him with a warning that sounded a little husky to her ear. She hoped it was just her being sensitive to the way she was feeling. But a glance over Castle's shoulder, and she knew at the very least, Lanie had seen her removing her hand from Rick's side.

Rick pulled back and smirked at her. "What? I didn't want you to be left out!"

Kate raised her eyebrows at him and glared at him from beneath her lashes, but she had to fight not to smile at the look on his face.

"Leaving. Now. Have fun boys!"

In the elevator, Kate could feel Lanie's eyes on her, but she studiously avoided eye contact. She wished she'd had more alcohol so she would at least have something to blame her flushed cheeks on.

* * *

><p><strong>For the record…the nasty glass eye story there? That's TRUE! Only it was <strong>_**my **_**college roommate's friend from high school. Met her once…and yes, she did pop her eye out. Not all the way to hold it in her hand or anything, but out and held in place with her eyelid stretched over it. Popped it back in with her knuckle. Crazy gross. (And, no she didn't have an active herpes outbreak at the time.)**


	30. Ch 30 Burn

**Hi all! I love this chapter – gets a little sexy! I hope you all enjoy it, too! I'm a little hesitant to post it during such a big holiday weekend (here in the U.S. we're celebrating Independence Day), but I hope you all find time to read and review anyway!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 30 – Burn<p>

Junie's was one of her favorite clubs to end up at—it had a great sound system and the DJ was up on the mix, playing everything from R&B to the Top 40. They didn't overdo the techno and they drew a good crowd mix—mostly young professionals. People came here to socialize and hear good music as much as they did to dance. And the place was set up for it, too. Tall tables with stools were scattered about; padded benches and smaller tables horseshoed along the walls, creating ample space to gather with friends.

The DJ played from the glass roof over the main four-sided bar. The raised platform was almost level with the second story overhang and allowed him to check the crowd from all directions. Mirror balls of various shapes and sizes hung from the ceiling and the upper deck, and mirrors in funky shapes and LED light strings were incorporated into the graffiti-style wall art. The bar was backlit and the lighting was low. Coupled with the intermittent fog, the mirrors served to enhance the laser light show that seemed to exist without pattern. Kate liked the effect more so than clubs with strobe lights—this way dancing actually looked like dancing, not a bunch of herky-jerky movements. And she didn't end the night feeling like she was going to have a seizure.

They met up with Shae, Lanie's sister, and Mel, Jenny's sister at the bar before coming here. They came in ready to dance and danced their way past the bar, to the back where the dance floor was most busy. Lanie, Jenny and Kate stuck pretty close together, not really wanting official dance partners. Maddie, was less reserved, Shae, it seemed was on the prowl and Mel—well, she didn't seem to care who she was dancing with.

Kate didn't mind being back to back with one of the girls—or even someone she didn't know, but she wasn't a particular fan of anyone pressing into her backside uninvited, looking to grind. After having a several men orbit around them, testing their interest levels, a couple seemed to take a liking to them. After one man in particular brushed up against her and stayed too long for a third time in a five minute span, Kate decided it was time for a break. It seemed Lanie was also sick of her over-eager circler because she broke from the group at the same time.

The two grabbed a drink and found an empty table and stools.

"Been a while since we did this, just us girls."

Kate smiled. "Yeah, it has. Fun though." Kate looked her friend over, who was checking her phone. By her smile, it wasn't hard to guess she was texting—probably sexting—Esposito. She hadn't really talked to Lanie since Javier showed up at her door with the rose and the too-tight varsity jacket. She wished she'd taken a picture. Lanie still carried with her that new-love look. Her eyes were brighter, and it wasn't the alcohol.

"So, how much would you prefer to be with Esposito right now?"

Lanie quickly put her phone in her lap. "I wouldn't, thank you very much. I'll see him later."

Kate was surprised that Lanie looked embarrassed. "Living together already?" Kate teased.

"Almost." Whoa. That was faster than she anticipated. Not the answer—but Lanie was serious.

"You know I'm happy for you right?"

"It's not weird for you?"

Kate thought for a moment. "You know, I never thought of the two of you together before I knew that you actually were. When he hurt you, it felt very, very wrong because you're my best friend, but Esposito's like a brother to me. Torn, you know? But seeing you so happy and seeing you together—even before you knew we knew—you guys just seem really perfect for each other. I wonder why I didn't see it before."

"Yeah, well, don't take this the wrong way, Kate, but seeing this kind of stuff—not exactly your strong suit."

"I'll have you know I was the first to figure out you two were together."

"Not the way Castle tells it."

"Lies, Lanie. All lies. Who you gonna believe?"

"Anyway, I didn't mean evidence to suggest someone's in a relationship, I meant actually identifying the spark. Speaking of which…How's Josh? You pull out your passport?" Seeing Kate stiffen, Lanie immediately regretted her question. "Nevermind. I wasn't going for buzz kill or interrogation. I was just curious."

Kate smiled. Talking about Josh shouldn't be a buzz kill, but he was still upset with her for refusing to go on vacation with him. Yes, she had the time, but she was in the middle of an investigation. He was right, though, that would always be the case. Still, if she was going to take time off, she was going to relax and do something that appealed to her. Not that South Africa wasn't appealing, just right now, she didn't think she could relax enough to enjoy it.

Kate smiled at Lanie. She dared to ask. That's probably why they were friends. For the most part, she knew when to back off, when to push. "You're you, Lanie. I expect nothing less." Kate debated leaving it at that, but decided Lanie would figure it out anyway. "For the record, he's in Nevada and I declined the South African safari. And before you ask, no I did not break up with him."

She watched Lanie nod her understanding, but didn't miss the flash of disappointment. _She is so transparent._ But, Kate reasoned, she didn't really have reason not to be. Sure, Lanie could do a better job hiding how she felt about Kate and Josh being together, but did she really want friends who would be willing to lie to her to make her feel better about her relationship? Besides, Kate wasn't completely indifferent to how her friends felt about him; she also thought it had less to do with Josh than a certain other someone they all knew.

Jenny, Mel and Maddie collapsed into stools at their table, each with a fresh drink. Shae joined them, too, but chose to stand, still dancing while standing there. They were all just talking when Jenny suddenly turned to Kate like she had remembered something.

"So, what's Rick's place in the Hampton's like?"

Before confusion could register, Kate's eyes darkened—a memory can flash through one's mind so quickly. "I wouldn't know," Kate said, tilting her beer back past her lips.

"Why do you ask?" Lanie wondered.

"When you were getting ready," she nodded to Kate, "he offered it to me and Kev Memorial Day weekend. Told us about a couple wineries to check out. Gave Javi his big screen TV."

_Point Castle_, Kate thought, smirking. She wondered if he did it so that Esposito wouldn't feel awkward or if he'd planned it all along? It was weeks ago that Ryan had mentioned wanting to get away with Jenny for a bit—and away from all the wedding planning details. Their mothers were driving them both nuts.

"Ah, that sounds fantastic!" Mel said. "Take me with you. I'm sure there's a spare room."

"Are you kidding?" Madison asked. "Castle's loaded. There'd probably a spare everything. Seriously, you've never been there Becks?"

"No. But, I'm sure it's nice. Alexis mentioned tennis once, but I'm not sure if that's at a country club or at the house. And, I know the yard is landscaped and that there's a willow tree."

"That's an odd thing to know."

"Long story." Kate answered Lanie, who was raising her eyebrows in question. "'Member I told you about Jack and the lilac bush and peonies?" Kate said in answer to her unspoken question.

"So, you're telling me that the man writes sex stories about you—"

Kate interrupted Mel. "They're _not_ sex stories!"

"They're steamy like sex stories," Maddie pointed out.

"He's smokin'. You're smokin'. And you've never chitty chitty bang banged?" Shae asked unbelievingly.

"You obviously haven't seen her totally hot cardiac surgeon boyfriend," Maddie said reaching for her phone. She leaned over to Shae and Mel with a picture of what the rest of the group could only assume was Josh.

Kate shared a "what the hell?" look with Lanie, who was clearly thinking _Oh, no she didn't!_

"Oh, yeah, he's hot. Where'd you find him Kate?"

"Come on, Mel," Jenny said. "Richard Castle's totally better looking." Kate had known Jenny was in the Castle camp long before tonight, so she wasn't surprised she'd argue on his behalf, regardless of what she actually thought. "Hasn't he been on the Ledger's Top Ten Most Eligible Bachelors list a bunch of times?"

"Yeah, I'm sure he's left scores of satisfied women lying in his wake," Shae added.

"Maybe. But come on!" Maddie exclaimed. "Surgeon? The man's gotta have skilled hands and the patience of a saint! And he does Doctors Without Borders, so he's clearly very giving. Right, Kate?" Kate wouldn't really know; she didn't like to take it slow. She didn't want to have to think. He gave her escape, and she didn't need patience for that. Skilled hands? He pretty much did what he was told and stayed out of her way.

Kate was incredulous that this conversation was taking place around her. Since when did her sex life and the men she was sleeping with or not sleeping with become the central topic of conversation among her friends? _Maybe I'll have to set Maddie up with Josh when we're through. Then she won't have to wonder._

"I don't know. No one's imagination is that good," Shae said, with Jenny and Mel nodding in agreement. Lanie was wisely keeping her mouth shut. Rare for her, but wise. Shae continued, "I don't buy that Richard Castle—a known playboy—isn't drawing on very skilled experience when he writes those sex scenes. And those sex scenes made me want to sing."

"But if we're talking about who's hotter? This man," Maddie waved her phone, "is way hotter." Mel echoed her agreement.

"You're kidding, right?" Kate spoke up for the first time, but immediately realized her mistake and flushed.

"So, you _do_ think Castle is hotter?" Lanie asked, like she didn't already know the answer. She just wanted Kate to confirm it.

_Yes!_ Kate thought. _And cute and adorable and sweet and sexy as hell. And he smells so good. And he tastes so good._

Kate was quick to react. She knew she could play her blush off with anger and indignation. "I didn't say that." Her voice held an edge to it that she didn't even have to work at. "I just think it's ridiculous that you all are debating the merits of my _partner _and my boyfriend."

"Well, you're right, Becks." Maddie said. "We don't _have _to debate," she added slyly. "Just tell us. Who's the better kisser, Kate?"

"I—_what_? Why would you ask me that?" Kate asked.

"Enquiring minds," Mel answered.

"Are you telling us that you've never kissed Castle?"

Lanie watched as Kate leaned forward. "_That_," Kate paused for effect, "is _exactly_ what I am telling _you_." She was calm, but her voice was tight and her eyes squinted just so. Lanie had seen this maneuver when she was on the other side of the interrogation room, watching Kate come down hard on a suspect. She did it when she was spinning a story, leading the suspect down the path she wanted them to go.

_Oh, my God!_ Lanie thought. _She's lying!_ Lanie leaned back in her stool and downed the rest of the beer, eyes on her best friend. Kate looked up to see Lanie watching her. Lanie nodded her head almost imperceptibly as if to say, "Congratulations. Well played."

_Shit._ Kate excused herself, and made her way to the bar. _Some top shelf vodka should do the trick. Maybe a lemon drop._

* * *

><p>An hour later, Kate found herself sitting with the girls, leaned back on one of the horseshoe benches along the wall. Shae and Mel had ditched them already—Shae went to catch up with friends at another, livelier club and Mel latched onto a man. Kate was definitely feeling the effects of the last two lemon drops, but she hadn't bothered slowing down. She had another drink now that some guy sent her way. She'd probably dance with him later—after her head stopped spinning—<em>if<em> he could keep his hands to himself. It wasn't like she couldn't still put him in his place.

"It's like couples night around here tonight," Lanie remarked. It would be a great night for dancing with her man.

"DJ must be in _looove_," Kate purred.

"Are you drunk, Becks?"

"Getting there."

"We should make the boys come dance with us."

Three of them murmured in agreement and looked at Kate. When she realized they were all looking at her, she rolled her head towards them in a feeble attempt to say, "What happened to girl's night out?"—but seeing their hopeful expressions, she said, "Fine. But if Castle doesn't come, I'm goin' home."

And that is how Katherine Beckett ended up on the sidelines, nursing yet another drink while watching her partner as he danced with unidentified female number—who knows?—Kate had lost count. She was appalled when she realized she'd been counting, but it hadn't stopped her. Now, she couldn't even remember what number she'd gotten to. He'd danced with Lanie, Maddie and Jenny; it wasn't weird for him like dancing with Ryan or Esposito would be for her. She'd danced with Todd once while Castle and Maddie were dancing, but they didn't mesh well. And that was okay. All in good fun. But sitting watching Castle dance with a bunch of random women? Not fun. Especially when he wouldn't dance with her.

She'd wanted him here so she wouldn't be the fifth wheel, but the boys had to drag him along.

"Castle doesn't want to come," Lanie said.

"What? Why not? They're not doing anything anyway." It was true. Lanie had been in touch with Esposito all night. They ended up not playing poker, but rather video games. When she'd asked them to come, Esposito replied that they were just "drinking, shootin' the shit"—he, Kevin and Todd were all more than willing to go out dancing with the ladies. Castle, on the other hand? He begged off, saying he wasn't up for it.

They didn't understand what it was like living in the limelight. Castle was used to it; with his actress mother, he'd dealt with it from the time he was young. But, for a long time now, he'd rivaled her in popularity among the press—much to her chagrin. Martha was, after all, meant to be in front of the camera, whereas Richard? Richard was a writer, and how often does a writer receive the same (or, in this case, _better_) recognition than an actress? Especially considering she was a pretty damn successful actress?

From the beginning, Rick had been smart about publicity. He mastered a genre that sells well. He paid and planned for the best in publicity, and created an eager, affable persona to accompany the image portrayed on the dust jackets. Castle wasn't kidding when he told Beckett that writers famously brood. He was no exception. He was moody and broody, and often unsure, but the public would never see that. Still, it was exhausting pretending to be upbeat all the time. He had to dress the part, monitor his speech and plaster on that crowd-pleasing smile.

Paula did her best to control where and when Rick would be seen, but with Twitter and YouTube, they had less control than they used to. So, Castle was constantly ready for the camera flash; constantly prepared for whatever fact or fiction might pop up in the gossip column. But that was when he was out. At home, he didn't have to worry, he could just be Rick—father, son, friend. In order to go out, he really had to be in the mood. He had to be prepared, and he had to want to put on that cloak of invisibility.

Castle relented only when Lanie had called him and told him that if he didn't come, he was going to ruin Kate's night. She said Kate was having fun, but she wasn't staying if Castle didn't come out, too. Rick understood where she was coming from. Who would want to be an extra at the couplefest? The boys razzed him when he insisted on changing first, but he wouldn't capitulate otherwise. So, they waited for him.

Kate noticed he'd changed. For as much as she teased him about being metro, she couldn't say she really minded. Even Lanie had to be impressed with his fashion sense. The man knew how to create an ensemble and make it look effortless. Tonight, he wore a light blue fitted shirt paired with dark denim. It was open it the collar in the manner he favored, and which hinted at smooth chest below. She had wondered about the hair on Richard Castle's chest before. _There? Or not?_ His sleeves were rolled up in a casual manner; he wore a twine bracelet on his wrist and his hips were wrapped with a black leather belt fastened by a boxy, brushed metal clasp.

He looked every bit the lady's man. But more than that, he made it look like he hadn't tried. It wouldn't have mattered. People were drawn to him. She couldn't blame them; he was charming.

When he dropped down in the stool beside her, she was glad he ditched the sunglasses he'd come in wearing. Before she got to know him better, she thought he wore them because he was cocky and looking for attention. It wasn't until she'd ended up at a pizza joint with Alexis, Martha and Castle one night that she fully realized their purpose. They'd been sitting in their booth for a few minutes in a new, busy place they'd walked to when Alexis said, "You know, Dad, looks like it's just us. Probably, safe to take them off."

Kate had been privy to a moment earlier tonight when he regretted not having them on. Castle felt like needed them to hide those moments when he was recognized and his first instinct was annoyance or disappointment. Kate didn't think he really needed them. It probably was more of a security blanket type thing. She was certain no one else saw the way he tensed slightly before he turned, ready to grace whoever had called out to him with his quick wit and winning smile. She regretted having him come out when he obviously wasn't quite up for it tonight.

Castle had signed hands and napkins for the women in the group that approached him. Only one seemed to be a genuine fan. She kept sneaking looks at Kate, clearly wondering if she was the Nikki Heat. When she got up the courage, she started to ask, "Are you…", but before she could finish Kate was slowly shaking her head "No," silently telling the woman it wasn't up for discussion.

One woman in the group had been a little more forward. Kate was sure the woman didn't even know who Castle was and that she was just following along with her friends. But she was loud and wanted Castle to sign her chest. Not wanting to make Kate or Ryan or anyone else uncomfortable, he politely declined. He offered to sign her phone instead, reasoning that it wouldn't wash off and she'd see it every day. Kate silently derided him, sneering her nose up, shaking her head as she thought about his words. _It'll be a one-of-a-kind…Just. Like. You._ At least she'd left them alone after Rick sprawled "Richard Castle" across the back of her bright pink phone.

Outside of that incident, people here didn't seem too interested in him tonight. He seemed to relax a little after that. For the most part, their whole group had been dancing ever since. Just not Kate and Rick together. Castle was steering clear of Beckett. He'd known she was upset as soon as he saw her. It wasn't just the way she was drinking, it was the set of her jaw, her clipped answers and, when she danced, she wasn't as relaxed as he'd seen before. It wasn't exactly noticeable—and the way she moved still turned heads, but to him, she wasn't as fluid as he'd seen her before. She wasn't letting herself really enjoy the music. He'd asked Lanie what was up earlier. Her only reply was that they'd pissed her off earlier. He knew better than to ask her to elaborate. Sitting beside Kate now, he got the impression that she was mad at him, but he hadn't even been here earlier, so he tried to push it aside.

They sat together lost in their own thoughts, not speaking, but each content not to be watching the other dance. They stayed that way, not talking, but relaxed together until everyone else joined them. Now they were around a table discussing Ryan's latest pop and lock moves—which he was unsuccessfully trying to teach to Javi and Todd.

"Okay, okay, bro. I give up."

"As you should, Baby. Just sad to see." Lanie said grimacing.

"It just ain't natural."

Ryan defended, "No. You ain't natural."

"You're just a bad teacher."

"Castle got it the first time."

"Castle ain't normal either."

"Hey!"

"Either of you say 'ain't' again," Beckett said, "and I'll arrest you for verbal assault on my ears."

"How do you like that?" Castle asked. "She's half-plastered and—"

"Making shit up now, Beckett?"

"How 'bout misconduct, Esposito? Or I could otherwise make your life hell?"

"How 'bout I buy you another drink?"

"Attempting to bribe an officer?"

"Is it working?"

"Make it a double."

They took everyone's orders and came back with drinks for all. Beckett also ordered Cherry Bombs for everyone, which the bartender brought over on a tray.

"Oh, no. Think I'm done for the night," Jenny said. "Don't know where you put it."

Beckett grabbed her shot. "Your loss."

Lanie touched her arm, "Maybe…" She stopped short at Kate's scowl.

"Drop it, Lanie." Kate downed the shot and asked, "Anyone up for another round?"

"Not me, Girlfriend. I wanna be able to walk home."

"And I think we're going to hit the dance floor one last time before we head home," Ryan said.

"Come on, Chica, I gotta redeem myself after that last attempt."

"So long as you stick with those smooth moves you know I love."

That left Maddie, Todd, Castle and Beckett. She already knew Maddie was done.

"How about you Castle?"

"You going to do a shot with me?"

"I'll do one more, but then I'm done. Still got my drink here, anyway." He noted Beckett's was already almost gone. He wondered how she was still going?

"What'll it be?"

"You pick."

Castle returned with two Purple Kamikazes. Maddie and Todd were already gone.

"Mmm. Good choice."

"Like you care. We could be drinking toilet water at this point and I'm not sure you'd notice."

"Not true. I'm good."

"So, what shall we drink to?"

"You're the wordsmith."

Castle smiled. "How 'bout…To all that was and is and is to come?" Castle watched as the tension flowed from Kate's shoulders. She stared at him for a minute, her lips slowly turning to a smile.

"You approve, I take it?"

"It's perfect, Castle," she said clinking her shot glass to his, letting their fingers brush and linger a moment longer than necessary. Intentional or not, his words soothed her, and she wasn't even sure why she was still on edge. She'd certainly had enough to drink that she shouldn't be.

Kate pulled her eyes from his, turning back to the dance floor to watch her friends enjoying themselves.

"So, Castle, how 'bout it? Would you like to dance with me?"

"I would love to dance with you, Detective." But, he couldn't. Not tonight.

Kate moved to get off the stool. Castle put his hand on her arm, stalling her.

"Wait. I said I'd _like_ to dance with you. I didn't say I would." He thought she might understand, but he saw disappointment and hurt pass across her features. She had the same look she'd had earlier, when he wondered if she was mad at him.

"Kate, I—"

He was interrupted by pink phone fake fan girl. "Richard Castle—I was hoping for another dance before I head out for the night."

Castle looked to Kate who was standing there, looking down, lips pursed. He wouldn't dare walk off with another woman after she'd just asked him to dance.

"I'm sorry," Castle said, never looking away from Kate. "I've just asked this lovely lady to dance."

Pink phone woman was irritated. She'd set her sights on Richard Castle for the night. She'd looked him up. She fit the part. This woman in front of her did not. Hell, the way she was looking at him, she wasn't sure if the woman even liked him.

"Excuse us,' Castle said, leading Beckett to the dance floor. _Finally_, Kate thought.

They danced, moving together flawlessly, with complete respect for one another's space. They pivoted around each other, swelling toward one another only to bounce back with the beat. Martha Graham would have called it a physical and superb interpretation of the ebb and flow of their relationship.

Castle was enjoying watching Kate enjoy herself on the dance floor. She finally seemed to have let loose. Kate was beginning to feel the effects of the last few drinks she'd had, but she wasn't so inebriated that she didn't recognize her euphoria for what it was: she was dancing with Rick. But the reserve with which she normally governed her response to him was lacking in a big way—and that probably could be blamed on all she'd had to drink. She didn't realize it was missing, and if she did, she wasn't sure she'd care.

They were clearly enjoying themselves, but there was an undeniable intensity to their dancing that no one dared interrupt. It could have been the eye contact that you don't normally see on the club floor. They seemed to be breaking that unspoken rule that you could touch, but not look. They did just the opposite. In fact, they barely brushed one another as they danced. But the eye-sex thing, as Lanie called it. That was on. Even when Kate twirled in front of him, hands in her hair or above her head, Rick never reached out. Oh, he looked, but his eyes were there to meet hers when she made it back around.

Except once. Which Kate took as an invitation to let her eyes wander as well. She took in his trim waist that he was always hiding behind suit coats, his forearms that flexed as he moved. Her eyes moved up to his shoulders and stopped at his open collar. She would kiss him there, now, if he were hers. Her eyes moved to his neck and the carotid pulse there. _Or maybe there._ God, she was really feeling it now. She forced her eyes back up to his. He didn't have to ask if she liked what she saw—she'd told him as much in L.A.

Someone bumped into Kate, sending her into Castle's chest. Castle steadied her with one hand at her elbow, another on her side. He expected her to back away, but she didn't. She stayed. The song was almost over so Castle decided just to let it be. He didn't want to embarrass her, but he knew he couldn't handle her in such close proximity for long. Not the way she was moving against him.

Kate was pressed up against him, riding his thigh, but still, he didn't touch her. When the song ended and _Love the Way You Lie_ began, Castle started to move away. Kate snaked her arms up around his neck.

"Just how much have you had to drink, Kate?"

She tugged the hair at the nape of his neck. "Shut up, Castle. Dance. With me."

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
>But that's alright because I like the way it hurts<br>Just gonna stand there and hear me cry  
>But that's alright because I love the way you lie<br>I love the way you lie_

Castle gave in and wrapped his right arm around Kate, he pressed his palm against her bare back. He could feel the muscles in her back rippling with the music as they swayed back and forth. They were hearing the words, but not listening to anything but what they each wanted from the other. They were oblivious to everyone and everything else around them.

_I can't tell you what it really is  
>I can only tell you what it feels like<br>And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe  
>I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight<br>As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight_

Kate pressed her cheek to Castle's jaw. She could feel where his fingers had slipped under the lace near her shoulders. She felt when he put his hand on her hip, and even in her schnockered stupor—which by the way, had done nothing to dull her response to him—she knew he was holding back. She wanted him to follow through, to run his hand back over her ass and use it to press him into her.

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
>But that's alright because I like the way it hurts<em>

Kate leaned forward and whispered in his ear. "Are you gonna burn me, Castle?"

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry  
>But that's alright because I love the way you lie<br>I love the way you lie  
>I love the way you lie<em>

_She still doesn't trust me_, Rick thought. _And she's never going to if I take advantage of her when she's drunk._ Castle reached up and pulled her arms from around his neck and held her hands to his chest. He looked into her eyes, appealing to her to believe him.

"No, Kate," he answered. Then he leaned down to kiss her fingers. "But you burn me." He looked up to her then, not sure what to make of the tears in her eyes.

_You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe  
>When you're with 'em<br>You meet and neither one of you even know what hit 'em  
><em>

From over Kate's shoulder, Castle caught the flash of a camera. _Dammit!_ Someone was taking pictures of them. If they were pictures of him and anybody else, he wouldn't worry. But he didn't need Kate using this against him, as another excuse, not when she was so obviously inclined toward him tonight. And there were witnesses! He didn't mind Esplanie or Ryenny knowing—maybe even gently reminding her someday when she was ready, but if this got out to Page 6, she'd never forgive herself enough to let him all the way in.

"I have to take care of something, Beckett." Then he walked away. He headed straight toward the woman with the autographed phone.

* * *

><p>Kate woke up not in her own bed, wondering where her clothes were. The last thing she remembered was looking up to see Castle dancing with the Barbie Doll Bimbette. She'd lowered her head to her arms and rested at the bar, waiting for the waves of nausea to pass.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Yes the next chapter's already underway, and no, I wasn't planning on leaving it here…but it was getting too long and I couldn't resist! <strong>

**So, what do you think? Don't hate me... :o)**


	31. Ch 31  Confession

**Hi all! How do you like this? Two chapters posted in two days?**

**This one is shorter, but I didn't want to make you wait. As for the last chapter, it didn't show up in the feed where new updated typically show up, and I'm not sure why. That's happened with a few other stories I follow (like "The Plan") – any ideas on how to fix are welcome…and of course, I'd love it if you took the time to review Chapter 30 as well as this chapter. Hope this one posts all right. The only thing I know to recommend is to set up alerts…seems the people who have this story on alert knew about the last update. (And a million thanks to all those who reviewed!)**

**Now…without further ado…time to find out where Kate is!**

Chapter 31 – Confession

_Kate woke up not in her own bed, wondering where her clothes were. The last thing she remembered was looking up to see Castle dancing with the Barbie Doll Bimbette. She'd lowered her head to her arms and rested at the bar, waiting for the waves of nausea to pass._

She looked around. _Lanie._ Thank God for Lanie. It wasn't like she never helped Lanie after a night out before, and though she wished she were in her own bed, she figured Lanie's guest bed was the next best thing. She rolled over and went back to sleep.

It was late morning, but Lanie was already up and showered when someone knocked on her door. She answered and opened the door wider to let Castle in, but he just handed her over a few things: Kate's bag, coffee for herself and Kate, a white to-go bag that smelled delicious—breakfast, he'd said.

"I put her in a cab to make sure she made it home safely."

"I know, Honey. We were right there." She and Javi were saying goodbye last night, letting Kate get some fresh air before they hailed a cab, when Castle came out with the blonde. Kate muttered "asshole" just loud enough for them to hear before tossing her cookies between a couple of parked cars. She never saw Castle shut the door and walk off.

Castle looked like he didn't sleep all night. "She'll come around Castle," Lanie tried to assure him.

"No, she won't. She'll regret that I wasn't Josh. She'll be mad at herself. Then she'll throw herself back into them because she feels guilty. We've been down this road before. I should have never danced with her to begin with."

Castle reached into his pocket and pulled out a pink phone. "I'm sure New York's finest can get this back to its rightful owner. Just, uh, make sure she deletes the pictures first. There's no video. I checked."

Lanie looked up at him with her big round eyes, realizing the lengths he had gone to for Kate. "I love my girl, Castle, but I'm not sure she deserves you."

"Of that, I have no doubt, Dr. Parrish," Castle said with a sad smile. "She deserves so much more."

Lanie walked into Kate's room, wondering how much of last night she remembered.

"Come on, Kate. Wake up. Breakfast is here."

Kate rolled and groaned, and sat up slightly to see if the contents of her stomach were going to stay there. She realized she actually did feel hungry and wondered why. Then she remembered emptying her stomach last night, no thanks to Castle and watching him leave with that skank.

"Uhgg," Kate groaned. "Where are my clothes, Lanie?"

"How should I know? When I put you to bed last night you had on one of my T-shirts and those sexy panties of yours. Are you telling me you have nothing on now?"

"No shirt."

"Good. 'Cause we need to talk and this way, I know you're not going anywhere."

"Now, Lanie? Do we have to do this now?"

"Now, Kate. From what I can tell, we should have done this a long time ago."

"What are you talking about?"

"That man is _in love_ with you, Kate. _In love with you_. And you treat him like that?"

"Treat him like what? He's the one who walked away and left me standing there so he could leave with Miss I-Can't-Wait-To-Get-In-Your-Pants."

"What do you care, Kate? You're not supposed to care if he screws all of Manhattan. You've got a fucking boyfriend—and though you seem intent on forgetting that particular detail, Castle can't."

"Jesus, Lanie, I was drunk okay?"

"No, it's not okay! You can't keep stringing him along. You're killing him, Kate. And I don't mean figuratively. I mean—killing him, just as sure as the bodies on my slab are dead. You're going to put him there, Kate. I mean he actually looks unhealthy."

"Okay, Lanie, I can hear you. Stop yelling."

"Somebody's got to. I mean got, he's gotta want to scream. But no, he just comes to my door, tells me you deserve better. You know? He's acting like he did something wrong. And maybe he did. Maybe falling in love with you was the biggest mistake of his life."

"God, Lanie. Would you stop saying that? He's not in love with me."

"No?"

"No."

"Not in love with you, huh?" Lanie asked in a dark, hushed tone. "Then tell me _why_," she said reaching down beside the bed, "why, Kate, would that man show up at my door with breakfast and coffee for you—and me, and your clothes so you'd be more comfortable?"

"He didn't leave you on the dance floor because he wanted to spend time with some floozy. And he didn't go home with her. He put her in a cab, by herself." She pulled a pink phone from behind her back and tossed it in Kate's lap. "He committed larceny—_larceny, _Kate—to keep you out of the news. To keep _your_ boyfriend from seeing _you _hanging all over another man."

She could see Kate fighting tears, not wanting to admit to herself or anyone else what they both knew to be true. Kate had known it for a long time, but she didn't want it to be true. She didn't want to acknowledge it. It was hard enough to keep her feelings at bay, to make sense of them.

"You might think you're not supposed to care, but we both know you do. Time to stop lying to yourself, Kate. Take a shower. I'll warm up breakfast."

Breakfast, as it turned out, was a variety of tart-sized mini quiche and blueberry muffins. Lanie warmed the quiche up in the oven, knowing she had time and they'd be better that way. She put them all on a tray and then poured cran-apple juice in two glasses for herself and Kate. She went to the living room to wait. She was angry with Kate, but she was also sympathetic. She knew how much Kate valued her independence and she knew how hard it had been for her to admit how she felt last summer.

She thought, too, about how hard it had had been for herself and Esposito to get where they were, to admit how they felt about one another. And they were up against a lot less than Kate and Rick. Still, if Kate could just get past all that was holding her back, she would be so happy—Castle would see to that.

When Kate came from the shower, she stopped short at the sight of Lanie sitting there waiting for her. She truly had that deer-in-the-headlights look. Her eyes were rimmed red—there was no denying what she had been doing in the shower. Her shame seemed to weigh her down as her head and shoulders sagged.

Lanie nodded to the couch, where Kate sat down in the corner and hugged a pillow to her body.

"Start talking."

Kate looked up to Lanie and held her gaze for a moment, wondering how much she wanted to challenge her. Finally, she gave in.

"I don't know where to start."

Lanie raised her eyebrows at her. "Why don't you start with kissing Castle?"

Kate's eyes widened and she started to panic. "I don't care how much I had to drink, I'm pretty sure I'd remember kissing Castle."

"I'm not talking about last night, Kate."

"I never said anything about kissing Castle."

"And I'm going to forgive you for that because you are going to tell me all about it—right now."

"It was just a ruse for a case, Lanie. Nothing more."

"Know how I know that's a lie?"

"It's not a—"

"Do you not trust me, Kate? Am I not your friend?"

"Of course you are. You know I trust you."

"See...the thing is…I think you're okay telling me about the things that don't matter. Hot sex with Josh. Kissing Demming, Will coming back…but the things that matter to you? Those you don't share. I thought we were friends, Kate."

She was looking at Kate, watching her chew on her lip.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I mean, obviously, you don't want to or you would have already. And you wouldn't have lied to me." Seeing the look on Kate's face, she relented a little. "Whatever. Okay? I'm not going to hold it against you." Lanie shook her head, realizing her little guilt trip wasn't going to work. She gave up. "Just eat, Kate." She started to get up, to do…something.

"Wait." Lanie settled back in, not looking at Kate.

"I never said anything about it for a lot of reasons. In part because it _was_ for a case…to get closer to the guard at the warehouse where Lockwood was torturing Javi and Kevin. We needed—"

"Wait. This happened that long ago?"

"Yeah," Kate said with an apologetic smile. "We had to get close to the warehouse, but there was no way to just sneak up. I had nothing, but Castle came up an idea…for us to act like a drunk couple so we could get closer. The guard started coming toward us, and I could tell he wasn't buying it. I was going to shoot him. Who knows what would have happened to Esposito and Ryan if Lockwood heard my gun discharge? But Castle? He knocks my hand away from my gun and drags me to him for a kiss."

"Oh, wow. So, it really wasn't real? I don't get it then. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm not done. I'm trying to tell you." Kate was a little exasperated, but she found once she started, she couldn't stop. "I pulled back, you know? Shocked and a little mad at Castle. But then I saw the guard approaching us…kinda voyeur-like, watching us make-out, but he was getting closer, like we needed. So, I kissed Castle. But, I'm telling you, Lanie, I feel so guilty, and not about Josh, I mean, when it comes right down to it, its first purpose was to distract the guard, but I was the one who ended up distracted. Even with Ryan and Esposito in the warehouse, I totally lost sight of where we were, what we were doing. They could have been killed, and I was kissing Castle."

"Musta been some kiss."

Kate shook her head. "Castle and I never talked about it, not even in a roundabout way. I never mentioned it to you because I feel guilty about it, about losing my head like that, embarrassed, and…and I wanted it just for me—to keep it to myself—because I haven't completely figured it out."

Lanie moved closer to Kate to hug her. "You have nothing to feel guilty about. However you got there, you saved Esposito and Ryan's lives. For that, I am _very, very_ thankful, by the way." With Kate's head resting on her shoulder she smiled down at her. "Being that it was a pretty complicated first kiss…I guess, I can see why you didn't tell me."

"But now you know." Kate looked directly at her friend. "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Lanie squeezed her shoulder, but neither spoke for a moment. Then Kate whispered quietly, "So, do you want the full confession? The part that scares the hell out of me?" She scoffed lightly, "I mean, aside from knowing he has the power to make me completely thoughtless?"

"Hit me."

"It…they...were the best kisses of my life, and I don't even know if they were real. Or rather, they weren't real, and they still manage to make me feel like I've never been kissed before."

"That good, huh?"

"You have no idea. He consumes me, Lanie." She flushed. "I…I never think of anyone else."

"Even when you're with Josh?"

Kate shook her head. "I try to, Lanie, I swear to God. But I either have to clear my mind of everything or I'm thinking 'Please just make me forget Castle.' Or I imagine Castle. And I don't want to. I don't want him in my head. I don't want to be consumed."

"It's called being in love, Honey."

"No, not this."

"Yes. This."

"But you love Esposito and you can still function."

"You saw how jealous and upset I was. I was ready to walk away. And remember how Jenny was when she thought Ryan was with Natalie Rhodes?"

"This isn't even a jealousy thing."

"Need I remind you about calling Castle an 'asshole' last night and how seeing him with that blonde made you turn your stomach inside out?"

"Oh, uh, please feel free to never remind me of that again. God, Esposito was there, too, wasn't he?" Lanie nodded. Kate groaned.

"Hey, you still have the varsity jacket to hold over his head. He said you must not have mentioned it to Castle or Ryan."

"No, not _yet_. Still, completely losing my mind over a kiss? That's not normal. And that's not me. It's like some fangirl response."

"Now you're just being ridiculous. And I don't think it's unheard of—your relationship has a depth to it that most don't, plus, there were the circumstances of your first kiss. A lot was at stake."

"Yeah, definitely not how imagined a first kiss with Castle."

"So, you do imagine a first kiss with Castle."

Kate chuckled. "Lanie, I just admitted to a whole lot more."

"I meant, I think you get a first kiss do-over, so how do you imagine that?"

"Castle's kind of a romantic, you know? And oddly traditional, so I guess I always imagined it as 'thanks for a great first date, let's do it again.' "

"And again. And again. And again." Lanie teased, until Kate's elbow met her side.

The two were silent for a while. Kate reached for a quiche and drank some of the juice, regretting that she'd let her coffee go cold. She was thinking about those pictures on the blonde's phone. She was sorry for the position she put him in, for making him feel like he was a stand-in for someone else—especially when the opposite was true. She was having a harder time finally giving in to how it felt to be in his arms.

After a while, Lanie spoke up. "Kate, what _are_ you going to do?"

"I don't know. I _am_ in a relationship."

"You're in a relationship all right, but not with the good Dr. Davidson."

"Still, he doesn't deserve to be treated this way. He hasn't done anything wrong."

"No doubt you've drug this on too long, but he hasn't really been there for you either, has he? You can't blame yourself for not sharing his feelings. I've told you before, you can't force it. And you've tried, haven't you?"

"I kept telling myself I was trying, but it was perfunctory at best. He thinks he loves me, but he doesn't have a clue who I am."

"How could he? He's gone or you're both working. And you're not exactly open and trusting."

"No, I'm not."

"Except with Castle."

"Except with Castle."

"Kate?"

Kate looked up at Lanie.

"I really am worried about Castle. More than not being fair to Josh, you're not being fair to him. This being there for you, trying to be your friend? And watching you be with someone else? It's taking a toll on him. He looks like you did last summer."

Lanie paused. "You say you don't want him, that he overwhelms you. If you're not willing to take him on completely, you need to let him go."

"I'm not strong enough to let him go, Lanie, but nothing can change with him, not yet." Lanie looked at her, questioning her statement. "Not until I can give him everything. Castle's not like Josh. He won't settle for less. And I can't hold back with him. I'd just hurt him even more if I offered him less than everything. Right now, I'm not ready to lose myself."

"Kate, when are you going to realize, you're not losing you, you're gaining a man who loves and supports you, flaws and all. You're gaining Castle."

Kate smiled. "And Alexis." As an afterthought, she added. "And Martha." She paused again, "I know Lanie, I just need some time. Not forever, but…first things first, right? Josh needs to come home."

Lanie smiled, glad her friend was finally seeing the light. Maybe she wasn't rushing headlong into a relationship with Castle, but her heart was already there—even if she didn't want to admit it.

**So, progress, right? **

**Let me know what you think! Do you like this approach with Kate's feelings toward Castle?**


	32. Ch 32 Key

**So, I'm glad you all seemed to like that last chapter! Thanks for the lovely reviews!**

**This one was a little harder to come by, mostly because so much happens. That, and there was a paying gig with an actual deadline holding up progress…**

**Quick refresher: Kate has finally admitted to Lanie that she spends nearly every waking moment (and lots of not awake moments) thinking about Castle—you know, when she's not thinking about a case. She still needs to apologize for letting loose at the club and dancing with him rather intimately when she wasn't free to do so. More than that, she knows that he stole another woman's phone to keep pictures of their dancing from getting out…**

* * *

><p>Chapter 32 – Key<p>

Kate's phone sounded from on her nightstand early Tuesday morning. She answered, knowing at this hour, it was likely dispatch calling to direct her to a murder scene. She was right. The sun was just starting to come up, and even though she knew she was headed to a murder scene, part of her was glad to know she at least had a good excuse to call Castle.

Castle answered groggily.

"Hey Castle."

"Body?"

"Yeah, where they are doing construction near the Bowery and East Third. I can pick you up in forty."

"Why so long?"

"I have to get ready. And I have to be presentable for court."

"Shouldn't be too hard. I thought you were supposed to testify yesterday?"

"Is that why you didn't come in?"

"Well, yeah, that, and I was writing, you know?"

"Court was recessed mid-day. They never got to me. See you in forty?"

"Nah. I'll meet you there. Maybe even beat you for once."

Kate hung up. She quickly showered and dressed, all the while thinking about what she could do to make it up to Castle. She really wanted his forgiveness, and though he sounded normal on the phone, it wasn't like him to not accept an offer to ride with her. And then, there was the bigger issue of his short answers each time she had texted him yesterday. Maybe she had been interrupting his writing, but she worried that wasn't the real problem.

Kate wasn't really the card-buying type, but she spent an hour after leaving Lanie's just in the store looking at cards. She didn't know quite what to say herself, but after reading at least thirty cards, she realized nothing seemed right. She finally settled on one with single-frame comic on front depicting a green alien translating for a man as he tried to communicate with a woman. Inside, it simply read: "_Translation: I'm sorry._"

She had struggled with what message to add as well…even whether to write "Castle" or "Rick" and how to sign her name. She wanted to write "Always," but she over-analyzed it enough that she didn't want him to think she'd always be sorry when it came to him. She wanted "Always" to mean something more, like it had every other time the word had passed between them. It was a promise, not a quest for forgiveness. She ended up with "_Rick, I know…they're actually grey. And I sure could use an alien friend's assistance right now to make the mess of words in my head make sense. Or a good writer. Know anyone? As plainly as possible: Thank you and please forgive me. I'm truly very sorry. –Kate_"

Card or no card, Kate needed to see him. She wanted to apologize in person.

Kate was just tucking in her shirt and pulling on her suit jacket when someone knocked on her door. Having no idea who it could be, Kate checked the peephole, only to discover a disheveled looking Josh on the other side. _Fantastic_, Kate thought. _What is it with these unannounced visits? At least he's home…_

Kate pulled open the door and Josh wasted no time swooping her into his arms, "Hey, Baby! Surprised? My flight just got in. Came straight here."

Kate was squirming to get out of his hold. "Geez, Josh, I'm getting ready for work." Kate pulled back and worked on re-tucking her shirt, expertly ducking a kiss from Josh so that it landed on her cheek. "I have court today," she said by way of explanation.

"You're up awful early, even for court. I was hoping to catch breakfast."

"I can't. Crime scene, and I'm running late. Come on, I'll walk you out," Kate said pulling one of her nicer light jackets from the closet.

"What? You have to go now?"

"Yes. The body's in a very public place. We're going to want to move it as soon as possible, and they can't move it until I assess the crime scene."

"Can't someone else do it?"

"Haven't we had this conversation? Come on. I need to go."

"I was hoping we could...you know…talk." Kate knew what that meant. He wasn't looking to talk.

"No time, but you're right, we do need to talk, but I have to go. Now. I told you, I'm running late."

"Fine, then go. Can I just use the bathroom first? I'll lock the door on my way out."

Kate considered for a moment. "Fine. Just…don't forget to lock up."

Josh leaned in. "I'll call you later, okay?" Kate turned her head, so he kissed her cheek again.

"So, you're not kissing me, now? Are you mad at me?"

_Oh, I so don't have time for this now._ "Makeup." Kate said, escaping out the door. Then, she thought again about how it really wasn't his fault that she didn't want him there, so she leaned back in. "I really do have to go, but I'll call you later." And she would because they needed to talk. She couldn't keep feeling guilty about not wanting him. She wanted to be with someone she missed when he was away. And she missed Castle.

"How about tomorrow night?"

"Can't. I have plans."

"With who? Doing what?"

"Whom."

"What?"

"It's 'with whom?'"

"And?"

"I don't like this line of questioning," she said, still leaning into her apartment, around her half-closed door, "but if you must know, Alexis, and we're going over her composition."

"What?"

"Music, Josh. I'm helping her with a project."

"Alexis? Isn't that Castle's kid?"

"Yeah."

"Can't you help her later? Wednesday's the only night I have off before Friday, and I have to make sure I'm all packed. I mean, come on, Kate. I'm leaving on Saturday. The kid will still be here."

"I'm not cutting out on her just because you chose to leave. I'm sure you have enough foresight that you can pack on Wednesday. We can meet up on Friday. Sure, I'd rather do it sooner, but—"

"And what if you have a case? What then?"

"What if I do? Can't exactly plan murder. But we're not on-call this weekend, so I can break from anything after five on Friday, at least for a little while. I don't like to leave things hanging, but this is important."

"Great. How 'bout I pick you up on Friday? We can go for drinks, maybe dinner?"

"Sure. Fine. Bye."

* * *

><p>Kate was standing at the murder board, adding what little they knew to the timeline. They started the morning with a John Doe, but they'd been lucky that his fingerprints were in the system. Now, the young man's parents were on the way to the precinct to identify the body and speak with Detective Beckett. Ryan and Esposito were still canvassing the area to see if anyone recognized their vic or saw anything, but from the looks of things, they were dealing with a mugging gone wrong, and not in the nicest neighborhood.<p>

Kate glanced at her desk. On top of this new one, she had Hamelin file on her desk. She didn't want that to let that go while they still had Stagstad in custody. They just needed evidence that he knew Scott Hamelin before she could question him again.

The other case file on her desk was ready to be closed out. They caught Liz Brunnette in a lie, she was now in custody. Kate had been able to tell the Dansk family, offer them some closure before the weekend, but she'd saved the paperwork for yesterday, only to spend half the day in court.

_Court! _Kate glanced at her watch. _Crap! _She left the file at home, not thinking about it after Josh had arrived. She hated not having all the details right before her and fresh in her head when she was called to the stand. Sure, she'd reviewed it again last night, but it wasn't the same as having it with her. Beckett never referenced the files when she was on the stand, but she liked having it with her, in her hands, just in case.

Kate glanced up to see Castle coming out of the break room with coffees for each of them. He'd spoken only when spoken to at the crime scene and didn't share any crazy theories. He barely even fidgeted in the car on the way back. When they stopped at a stoplight and Kate set the card she'd gotten him in his lap, he'd been so absorbed on the scenery outside his window, he didn't notice. Kate was parked and he was reaching for his seatbelt before he registered the envelope that had slid between his legs.

Castle had looked at her questioningly. Kate only cocked her head toward the card with a just the hint of an apologetic half-smile. Castle shook his head, not really wanting to open the card. He'd put her in a bad spot and now she felt guilty about what happened. He didn't want to see her guilt—not on paper and not playing across her face. He'd rather they pretended it never happened, while he secretly savored those moments when she'd been in his arms. He didn't want to hear how she was sorry, how it was a momentary lapse in judgment. He didn't want to be her mistake.

Kate watched Castle open the card and smile at the picture. He smiled even more when he read the message, but when he looked up at her, his smile was tight and didn't reach his eyes.

"No need to apologize, Detective," he'd said.

_Oh, really?_ Kate thought. _Then why are you calling me 'Detective?'_

Castle continued, going on about how we all deserve to cut loose sometimes, and it was okay to miss her boyfriend and how he was sorry Josh couldn't be the one at the club with her.

Kate tried to tell him that that wasn't it—that wasn't why she was apologizing, but he interrupted her again.

"Beckett, really—let's not talk about this," he'd said. "We're good, okay?"

Kate wanted to argue. Obviously, they weren't good. Things weren't right between them. She opened her mouth to say more, but Castle stopped her.

"Please," he'd implored, giving her a long look—all but commanding her to drop it, then he'd opened the door and stepped out of the car. They rode in the elevator in silence, and by the time they got off, Castle seemed to pull himself back into their normal routine.

Beckett, however, was still questioning whether all was well between them. As Castle set the coffee down on her desk (rather than handing it to her, she noted), it was just another thing weighing on her mind. Beckett decided she had enough to focus on; she was going to let it go for the time being.

Castle observed her for a moment. She was looking more stressed than normal, though he had tried to set her mind at ease. He knew they were going to have to talk to their vic's family, but that didn't normally leave his partner so wound.

"What's up, Beckett?"

"I have to be in court soon, but I forgot the case file at home. Hopefully, the boys will be back soon. They can run down anything we learn from the family and I can make it back to my apartment before court."

"Or, I could run and get it for you."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"I mean, I wasn't asking in a surreptitious way, Castle. I know you're not my go-fer."

"But, you can't leave right now, and you need it, right? Really, it's no trouble. I'll be back in thirty, forty minutes."

"I, uh…Thanks, Castle."

"Now, where is it?"

Kate's cheeks reddened a bit, realizing where she'd left it…and exactly how her room looked with her unmade bed and clothes from yesterday chucked over the bench at the end of her bed.

"On my night stand." Castle nodded, and started for the elevators. When he rounded the glass partition, Kate saw his smirk.

"Just the file, 'K, Castle?"

* * *

><p>Castle turned the key in Kate's door, realizing it was already unlocked, and stepped inside. That wasn't safe and didn't seem like Kate. He'd have to talk to her about it. He glanced around while he pushed the door shut. He liked Kate's new apartment—the exposed wood, the mixed materials, the warm undertones. Castle noticed she'd moved her furniture again since he was last there. The couch was now along the wall again, like it had been the first time he'd been there, but, there was one addition that had been missing before that was impossible to miss now. Josh.<p>

Kate's boyfriend was asleep on her couch, feet propped up on the coffee table, Sports Center playing in the background. _Great. Just fucking great._ He'd have to walk between him and the TV to get to Kate's bedroom, and damned if her door wasn't shut. It was too bad, too, because he'd wanted to make his way upstairs to peek at Kate's murder board to see if she'd added anything to it.

Castle entered Kate's room, going directly to the nightstand, which held the flower arrangement he'd sent her for Mother's Day. The lilac's hadn't held up—she'd obviously removed most of them and needed to remove a few more, but the peonies still looked full and smelled wonderful. She clearly liked them, or they wouldn't be in her room. Briefly, he wondered how she'd explained the arrangement to Dr. Motorcycle Boy.

Castle turned his attention to the stand's surface, and smiled when he realized the case file wasn't the only thing she'd been reading last night. He picked up _When it Comes to Slaughter_; it wasn't his best work, but it would almost be vain of Kate if she only read what he deemed his best work. Castle knew she was well-read, so knowing that Kate enjoyed his work best (even though she would never admit it), thrilled him. Castle set the book back down on her pillow, so she'd know he'd seen it and grabbed the case file.

He turned back to the door slowly, looking the room over appreciatively. Kate had good taste. From where he stood, he could see into her bathroom, and though he desperately wanted to finally determine exactly which products came together to make Kate smell so delicious and so uniquely Kate, he resisted the urge. He'd save snooping for another time, when there was no chance of her boyfriend catching him.

Castle stepped through the door, intent on making it out the apartment without being noticed, but Josh was sitting up now, and turned to look at him. Castle froze in the doorway.

"What the hell are you doing here? In Kate's bedroom?" Castle started to answer, but Josh ignored him. He stood up and called out, "Kate?"

Castle walked around the coffee table heading toward the door. "She's not here. I just came by to pick up this file for her. She forgot it here."

"How the hell'd you even get in here?"

"Door was unlocked, but…" Castle held up a key as way of explanation.

"You've got a key to her fucking apartment?" Josh asked heading toward him.

Castle lowered his key chain, somewhere in the back of his mind, he was wondering what it would be like if apartments actually could screw. That weird train of thought was immediately dropped as Dr. Motorcycle boy advanced on him.

"Give it to me."

"What?"

"The key. Give it to me."

"I don't think Beckett would appreciate that. She gave it to me."

"Well, I'm her boyfriend and _I _don't appreciate another man having a key to her apartment."

'Look, I'm going to go. You can take this up with Beckett. If she wants the key back, I'll give it to her." Castle turned toward the door.

"You'll give it to me. Now."

"No, I don't think I'll be doing that."

Castle was near the door now. He turned, hearing Josh behind him, and was glad he did, otherwise he'd have been taken by surprise. Instead, he sidestepped, avoiding the full force of Josh's body.

"Hey, man," Castle said. "Take it easy."

Josh was pissed though. He spun around and charged into Castle, knocking him into the wall and Kate's ornate candle holder. The candle landed with a soft thud, but the hurricane lamp shattered, sending glass everywhere. The file folder Castle was holding sailed to the floor. Castle pushed back on Josh's shoulders, lifting his considerable weight off him, but Josh reached out for his shirt and ended up pulling Castle with him up to his chest.

"You're not leaving here with it. Give it to me."

"No. If Kate wanted you to have it, she wouldn't have given it to me." He watched as Josh swiftly pulled back an angry fist.

_Shit! _Castle didn't want to fight with Josh—at least not in Kate's apartment. It wasn't that he didn't think he could take him—he'd beat the hell out of Lockwood, hadn't he?—but he was sure Kate wouldn't appreciate it.

"Fine!" he said, "Shit, man. I'll give it to you."

Josh pushed him back toward the wall again, and sneered, "I don't even know why the hell she lets you follow her around. Lilly-livered asshole."

"Maybe she likes having me around," Castle said, as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his key chain. He spun Kate's key from his ring and held it up in front of Josh's face. He promptly snatched it out of Castle's hand and stalked to the door.

"Where the hell do you think you're going? The least you can do is help me clean up this mess since you made it. Kate doesn't need to come home to this."

Josh paused when he said "Kate," and it seemed like he might actually be willing to help. Castle set about picking up the papers that flown from the file.

"Grab the broom and dustpan," he told Josh, looking up at him. Josh started, but hesitated. Castle realized he didn't know where Kate kept them. "They're in the hall closet."

Josh glared at him. "Fuck you," he said coldly, then disappeared out the door.

Castle dropped the now organized file on Kate's desk twenty minutes later than he had planned.

"What took you so long?" Kate asked, not bothering to look up from her paper work.

Castle put both hands on her desk and leaned forward until he was at her level. Kate looked up noticing how upset he looked.

"Your boyfriend was there. You know, maybe next time you could just have him bring you the file?"

"What?" _Why the hell was Josh there?_

"Yeah. And he was none too happy that I have—no _had_—a key to your place."

Kate stood up now. "What do you mean _had_?"

"He demanded I give it to him."

"So you what? Just handed it over? You're supposed to be my partner, have my back—help keep me safe. You're not supposed to hand the key to my place over to random people."

"I didn't think your boyfriend was 'random people'—"

"He's not! He's—I don't just give a key to anybody. I can't believe you gave it to him."

"Well, I wouldn't have, if he hadn't attacked me. Broke your candle holder by the way and left me to clean up the mess."

"What? Josh would never hit anyone!"

"I didn't say he hit me! I stopped him before he did. I didn't think you'd want him to ruin his pretty little surgeon hands."

"I can't believe that. I've never seen Josh lose his temper. You, on the other hand?"

"Yeah, because I'm a damned liar!" Castle stormed off, pausing briefly to nod to Esposito and Ryan as they came into the bullpen. Esposito's eyes flicked over him. Ryan looked between the two.

"Did you two…" Ryan trailed off, unwilling to finish that thought with the obvious tension between Mom and Dad. He realized too late that it wasn't sexual tension this time.

"Yo, Castle, man, what happened to your shirt?" Esposito asked. For the first time, Kate noticed the crinkled material of his normally pressed shirt—and that he was missing a button.

Castle stopped beside his friends and looked up at Beckett. "Apparently nothing. It was just a figment of my overactive imagination." He scooted to the just arrived elevator before the doors could close again.

Kate was already on her phone, demanding that Castle's key be on her counter by the time she got home.

* * *

><p>A couple hours later, Detective Kate Beckett was still waiting to testify. She'd glanced over the file a couple of times, but she spent the vast majority of the time trying to come up with a way to apologize to Castle—again. It infuriated her to know how easily Castle could get under her skin. He'd had that power since she'd known him. It was one of the first things about him that simultaneously attracted and irritated her. No one else in her life had that power—no one. The only thing that could get to her as easily was her mother's case, and that wasn't even close to the same thing. And even then, Castle kept the darkness from closing in on her.<p>

Beckett hated being in the court room. It always reminded her of her mother. It wasn't that Johanna Beckett spent every waking hour in front of a judge arguing a case, but Kate had watched her in the courtroom enough times that she couldn't sit here now without thinking about her. Johanna Beckett split her time between the courtroom, the classroom, her offices, and, of course, home. She was just as comfortable in one place as the other, and she'd had no problem letting a young Katie tag along.

Kate especially loved watching her teach. She'd sit at the back of the room with her books, in awe of her mother's command of the room. She had the same talent in the courtroom, but there, she was sometimes challenged by the opposing attorney, and Kate didn't like seeing that. She wished she'd stayed in that "idol mom" mindset, and that she'd never grown to the age where she began challenging her mother.

Kate wished wholeheartedly that her mother were still here to tell her what to do. She doubted she'd argue now—she was so lacking in ideas. And Lanie had been no help. Suddenly, Kate thought back to a time when her mother had won a particularly grueling case. She'd been about fourteen, sitting in the living room, watching _Jeopardy_ with her father. Her mother was getting home late, but she'd called to say she was bringing dinner. When she stepped through the door holding a pizza box, her dad rose to take the box from her and kiss her cheek while she shrugged from her coat.

"_Thank God! We were starving here!"_

"_Uh-huh, you look like you were wasting away."_

"_So, closed it, huh?"_

"_Justice for…" _Kate couldn't remember.

"_That's great, Jo. Congratulations. Now, feed me."_

_Johanna laughed and reached out to pull Kate up from the couch. "Never forget, Katie. The fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach."_

_Thanks, Mom_, Kate thought, smiling to herself. She pulled out her phone to text Alexis, Martha and Castle.

_**I'm making dinner tomorrow.**_

Then she sent one just to Castle. _**What time will you be home?**_

Alexis sent her one back. **K, but ?**

_**Long story. Sorry if your dad's in a bad mood.**_

**Thanks for the warning**

_You don't have to. _

_**Please?**_

_Not until 7, 7:30ish. A little late for dinner._

_**We'll wait for you. **_

Now she'd just have to decide what to make. The Castles were good cooks. She'd have to come up with something good.

* * *

><p>Castle's loft seemed quiet now. Alexis was at the counter, studying for final exams, while Kate put together the salad. Martha had disappeared upstairs after listening to the two practice. Alexis had revised her piece and it sounded a lot better. She had eliminated the jerkiness of the last half of her composition, so they focused most of their time on the transition from the melodic beginning to the faster paced ending.<p>

Kate checked the oven and the rice on the stove before going to set the table. She was nervous about how this would turn out. It had been a while since she made it. They were a pain to make, but everyone always loved them, and it wasn't like she had an arsenal

Martha reappeared. "Red wine or white?"

"Probably white."

Martha came to set glasses on the table and the bottle of wine on the table.

"Everything okay, Dear?"

Kate faltered, not knowing what to say. "Uh."

Not unexpectedly, since they knew he was on his way, Castle walked in at that moment. Kate's eyes found his from across the room. Martha looked at her son, seeing he was still tense, his jaw tight. Martha patted Kate's arm, as Castle made his way to his daughter.

"Say no more, Dear," she said quietly.

Kate smiled ruefully, knowing she hadn't managed to say anything intelligible, and yet, she knew Martha understood. In fact, she probably understood more than she let on, but, blissfully, she didn't say anything else.

They sat down to dinner.

"What is this, Kate?" Martha asked, pulling the chef's string off the turkey wrap on her plate. "It looks delicious."

"Cranberry-Apple Stuffed Turkey Rolls."

"They seem…involved," Alexis said.

"My grandmother's recipe. She used to prefer these over a traditional stuffed turkey on Thanksgiving, so while all the men were in the living room watching football, we spent the afternoon stuffing, rolling and tying."

"You're busy," Castle said. "You shouldn't have gone through all the trouble."

"Mmm. No," Kate said, swallowing, smiling at him. "The bad part is going to the store for all the ingredients you know I don't keep on hand. Actually making it? That was cathartic." It wasn't like she was going to sleep well anyway.

Castle nodded. "Alexis, you all packed?"

"Dad, I'm not leaving until Friday."

Kate looked up, questioning. "Six Flags," Martha answered. "NHS trip."

"Sounds fun."

"Yeah. I guess."

"You're not excited?"

"Well, I don't really like roller coasters," Alexis offered.

"Really?"

"And," Martha added. "Ashley's not an NHS member."

"Thank God," Castle muttered.

"Dad!"

"What?"

"Doesn't matter anyway. He and a bunch of other kids are going to meet us there on Saturday." Castle looked up, worried. "They're not spending the night, Dad. And even if they were, there are chaperones." Alexis smiled at Kate. "Ash loves rollercoasters, so I promised I'd give it a try."

"Always better if you have someone's hand to squeeze." Kate laughed.

"I don't know, Beckett. You haven't seen her on rollercoasters. Try not to break his hand, Sweetie."

"How about you, Richard? Did you have any success flushing out that new character you mentioned for the next Nikki Heat?"

"Are you planning another murder, Castle?"

"Well, I'll have to do that at some point, but no."

"So who's this new character, Dad? Victim? Murderer?"

Rick looked up at his daughter before glancing at the detective, who was watching him. "Actually, he said, forking another bit of salad. "I was thinking of a new love interest for Nikki. Someone better suited to her. An upstanding, do-gooder. You know, someone who listens and is completely removed from the life she leads? I'm thinking she needs an escape."

He was aware of Beckett dropping her head.

"What about Jamie?" Alexis asked. Kate listened intently.

"He inadvertently got her kicked off the force. She doesn't trust him. Sometimes you've got to go where the characters take you."

"Really, Richard. That seems unwise."

"It's a more character-driven plot. What do you think, Kate?"

"I don't think that's what your readers want."

"But, I've got to go where my inspiration takes me. And Nikki doesn't trust Rook, does she?"

"Character-driven plot or not, Dad, they can't take you to a character that doesn't exist. Maybe you should rethink this do-gooder."

"Maybe you're right, Alexis. Maybe he'll just stay a figment of my imagination, like a lot of other things."

Kate set her fork and knife down, and took a drink of her wine. Then she stood up and leaned down to Castle's ear, turning his jaw so that neither Alexis nor Martha could make out what she was saying.

"Stop being a dickwad," she whispered, her lips grazing his ear. "And accept my apology. I don't cook for just anybody, and the only people who have a key to my place are Lanie, my dad and you. I call that trust."

Kate kept her hand on his jaw, so even though she couldn't see his face, she could feel him his reaction. Kate stood and patted his cheek with more force than was necessary.

"I'm going to cut out early, ladies. But, I will see you, Alexis, next week—same time? So, long as—"

"No body, I know."

"Come, Dear. I'll walk you out."

"No, really, Martha. Stay. Finish your dinner." Kate winked, doing her best to save face. "Have an extra glass of wine for me."

Kate disappeared out the door to calls of "thanks for dinner" and "good night" which she echoed with her own appropriate niceties. She didn't slow down on her way out, though. She could feel her arms even her stomach trembling, and had no idea what to make of it. She wasn't exactly angry, nor was she embarrassed. She was a little nervy and a little scared, but this was a different kind of fear than she was used to.

"She makes dinner for you and you drive the poor girl away? I raised you with better manners than that."

"Yeah, Dad. Why'd you have to be so spiteful?"

"You don't even know what happened, and you're going to take her side?"

"We know she made dinner, and we know she doesn't normally cook, so that's kind of a big deal. Tells me, whatever it was, she's sorry."

"Not to mention, we all know how private she is, but she chose to include us, in whatever this is."

Rick took a deep breath. _Dinner was good_, he thought, _but God, when is that woman going to start trusting me?_ He waged an inner battle. _She says she does, but it doesn't matter, so long as she's with Josh. _He smiled to himself. _But Josh doesn't have a key._ Still, he couldn't get in the way of their relationship, or he'd ruin that trust. _Get it together, man!_ Rick's insides were burning with worry. He had been a dick.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading! I debated expanding, several of those scenes, but in the interest of forward momentum, decided not to. Hope it didn't seem rushed or stunted...tried to keep the flow intact! I would love to know your thoughts, so please leave a review before you move on to all those other wonderful fanfics!<strong>


	33. Ch 33 When it all goes kaput

**Okay…so that last chapter? Wow, so many great reviews and good points! Thank you. Also, very amusing how divided we are when it comes to who we sympathize with in this story.**

**I hope you all like this chapter. It will forever live in infamy as the chapter that didn't want to happen, but after a TOO MANY rewrites, it has finally worked out as intended. There were so many places to go…and only one destination would really work. Ended up much longer than I intended, but I have a feeling you'll be okay with that.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 33 – When it all goes kaput<p>

Uniforms called in an abandoned car dented along the side, and after discovering it belonged to their vic's sister, Castle spun a theory about road rage—and though farfetched, they had nothing else to go on, so Ryan and Esposito dug up video from traffic cameras in the hours preceding their victim's death and as luck would have it, they found it. They were able to identify the vehicle that rammed the old escort into a light post.

The driver didn't know the kid had been murdered, and was very eager to turn on his passenger in favor of reduced charges of assault and destruction of private property. He told Beckett and Castle his friend was mad because the kid stiffed him. When they blocked the victim's car, his friend got out and chased him through the park. They brought the suspect in for questioning, letting him see the driver, and he confessed within five minutes.

Earlier in the day, they also got a confession out of Stagstad after offering proof that they'd caught him in a lie. The Hamelin family was relieved to learn that their son's killer was finally apprehended. Between these, the cold case they'd closed a day earlier and the Dansk case they closed last Friday, they'd had a very successful week, even if it had been relatively awful.

"Detectives," the Captain said, walking up to Beckett's desk where Kate prepared the case files for filing, while Ryan and Esposito and Castle were packing up the two murder boards. "Four cases. Very impressive, Beckett."

"Thank you, Sir. We've got to credit Castle with this last one, and the boys lucked out with the Stagstad lead."

"It was great work all around. Don't think I don't know how much time you spent here afterhours."

Kate nodded, feeling guilty for accepting his praise. She wished she could credit all the nights she'd spent here this week with forward momentum on these cases, but the truth was she had been preoccupied. Her boyfriend was avoiding her. She'd called him, texted him and gone to his apartment. She'd been to the hospital Tuesday night, Wednesday after leaving Castle's and twice last night, and she'd seen neither tail nor hide of him. _Who knew so many surgeries took place at night?_ Kate always thought these things, especially the type surgeries Josh did would be more along the lines of scheduled procedures.

In that time, she'd received two voicemails, each indicating something along the lines of "I know you're mad, but I'm going to make it up to you" and a few text messages reminding her "I luv u, babe." So, even though she'd packed up a box of what few things he had around her apartment, she hadn't been able to give it back to him yet. And she still didn't have her damn key!

Now, Josh was going to be here soon because she'd already arranged to have drinks with him. She was okay with that—better to do it in a public place, but she didn't need to provoke Josh with Castle's presence or further chafe Castle with Josh's.

Kate hadn't paid attention to the conversation going on around her until the Captain's voice called her back again. "Your weekend is well-deserved. Enjoy it!"

"We plan to, Captain." Ryan said. "We're actually heading down to the Old Haunt to celebrate. Care to join us?"

"Thanks, but I promised the wife dinner tonight. I'll see you Monday."

"Bye, Captain," they all called.

"Hey Boss?" Esposito asks turning to Beckett, "How come Castle gets credit, and we 'get lucky'?"

"You know, Baby," Lanie says, walking up to them from the break room, "most men wouldn't complain about getting lucky."

"I sure wouldn't," Castle mooned.

"Bro—"

"What? I didn't mean _Lanie_!"

"What's wrong with Lanie?" Lanie asked folding her arms over her chest, and shifting her head in challenge.

Kate looked up her from her chair, to watch Castle sputtering. "Wha—what? Nothing! But you're Javi's."

"That's right, Chica. All mine. Don't you forget it."

"Are you kidding me? Ownership?"

"I was thinking more man code," Castle said.

"Man code, my ass," Lanie said while the three fist-bumped. "Are you guys ready to go yet?"

"Count me out, guys," Castle said. "I'm not up for it tonight."

"You feeling okay, Castle?" Lanie asked, her concern evident. He looked pale.

Castle didn't respond. Truthfully, he felt like shit, but he didn't want them to know that. He'd been feeling like crap all week, but it didn't take a genius to figure out why. Still, that szechuan chicken he'd had earlier hadn't set well. He just wanted to go home and go to bed.

"I've been asking him that since lunch, but he doesn't have a fever."

"You checked?" Esposito asked.

"Ooh, how'd she check, Castle?" Ryan asked.

"And you think I'm the nine-year old?"

"Technically, I call them 'the boys,' too. Can you guys take that to records?" Beckett asked, nodding to the brown file box. She walked off toward the Captain's office to deposit some files in his inbox. Lanie followed, wanting a status check on Kate's plans for the night.

"I got it." Castle called, but before he could go, Ryan stopped hm.

"Seriously, man, you've got to come out with us tonight. You're half the reason we're not working all weekend."

"Sorry, Gentlemen. I have to go see Alexis off."

"So, go and meet us down there," Esposito said.

Castle wavered. It wasn't that he didn't want to hang out with his friends. Plus, he knew Beckett had other plans. He could manage for a bit, right? "All right, fine. I'll meet you there." Castle went off to the records room, taking a shortcut through the break room.

Esposito returned from wheeling the second whiteboard into the conference room only to find Beckett sitting at her desk with another file open and Lanie sitting in Castle's chair. "Come on, Boss. Pack it up. Let's get out of here."

"Yeah. Time to kick off the weekend. Jenny's gonna meet us there."

"I think Kate's got other plans," Lanie said, nodding to the elevator where Dr. Motorcycle Boy was stepping off, holding a vase of long-stemmed red roses. She _knew _Kate had other plans, and from the looks of things, Josh wasn't at all clued in, even though from Lanie's perspective, he should be. _What did he expect was going to happen after attacking Writer Monkey?_

Josh looked over at them through the glass partition, and seemed hesitant about approaching with all of them standing there. Lanie said something to the boys about helping her helping her load the dishwasher, and ushered them into the break room.

Kate turned, just as Josh decided to sulk up to her desk.

"I, uh, here." Josh moved the vase toward Kate so quickly, water sloshed from the top. When she didn't reach for it, he set it on the edge of her desk. _Shit. She's really going to make me work for it. Why can't she just be happy that she has a boyfriend who actually cares enough to fight for her?_

Kate stood up. "You know that's not what I want," she said sternly with one hand on her hip and the other held out in from of her.

"Look, I know you're upset," Josh said. "I was wrong. I shouldn't have reacted that way. But come on, Kate—don't you think it was a little bit justified?"

Kate didn't say anything. She just continued giving him a hard, frosty look while holding out her hand. Josh relented and started digging into his pocket for his keys. He fiddled with them while trying to figure out how to broach the topic.

"I was thinking maybe I could keep it, and give you this one instead," Josh said, holding up a new, shiny key that she knew was for his apartment.

"_My_ key, Josh." Josh stared at her for a moment longer before finally relenting and twisting the key off his key chain.

"Are you going to give it back to him?"

"Yes. It's his. He's my partner. It makes sense for him to have a key to my place. I can guarantee you that Ryan and Esposito have keys to each others' places. Ryan might even have the key to Lanie's place."

"Why can Castle have a key and I can't?"

"I just told you. He's my partner."

"And I'm your boyfriend. Come on, Kate. We've been together for nearly eight months."

"And nearly half that time you've been out of the country. I'm sorry if I'm not as comfortable in this relationship as you are."

"You know? I told you I loved you. I thought it might help you settle in, but instead you still pull away from me. You do it all the time. It's not just about the key. I put my arm around you and you lean forward. I say sweet things to you, you brush it off."

Kate ignored most of what Josh said and keyed in on his unintentional phrasing. "I don't like being lied to Josh."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I didn't ask you to say it. You're not supposed to say it if you don't mean it—or use it to try to coerce someone else into saying it. Plus, at my apartment. You said you had to use the bathroom, then you'd go. Instead, you're still hanging around hours later. _That's_ why you don't have a key. What the hell we're you doing there anyway? And then you pick a fight with my partner?"

"I _do_ mean it, but that's not what this is about, is it? It always comes back to Castle."

"No, it's not about Castle. It's about trust."

"So, I'm okay to sleep with, but not trustworthy enough to be left alone in your apartment?" Kate glanced around, there were still a few people hanging around the bullpen. This fight needed to happen, and as much as she might like to drag him into the interrogation room and have it out on her own turf, she didn't want her personal business on display.

Kate intentionally lowered her voice. "Josh, I'm not doing this. Not here. Not now."

Once again, Josh misinterpreted what her lowered voice meant. He thought she was softening. Josh placed one hand on her upper arm and caressed her face with the other. "You know, I _am_ a trustworthy guy. I keep people's confidences all the time…when they're scared about dying, scared about leaving their loved ones behind. You can trust me. I thought, when you told me about your mom, that you were starting to. And I want that, Babe. I really do. I'll do whatever it takes to earn your trust." He leaned in to kiss her.

"Josh, I—" Kate's head turned at the movement she caught over Josh's shoulder causing his wet kiss to land on her cheek. As he pulled her into a hug, Kate watched Castle walk behind them, never looking in their direction. He paused at the elevator momentarily—just long enough to realize it was in use and then made for the stairs. "I'm at work," Kate said shrugging out of her boyfriend's embrace.

Figuring all was well between Kate and the boyfriend they didn't really know and hadn't had a chance to size up, Ryan and Esposito made their way to Kate's desk. Lanie scooted behind them to take up residence in Kate's chair.

"Hey boys," Josh said.

Kate saw Esposito bristle and Ryan's eyes narrow at the diminutive that only their girls and occasionally Castle—because he was one of them—were allowed to use.

"Josh, you remember Detectives Ryan and Esposito." Ryan held out his hand to shake Josh's, but Esposito just nodded toward the man.

"So, we're just heading out to The Old Haunt to celebrate. Closed four cases this week. You coming with us?"

"Sounds great to me."

"Josh, really you don't want to go."

"Come on. You want me to get to know your friends, right?"

"No, it's just—"

"Come on, Babe. We were going out for drinks anyway. Better with friends, right?" _And I really need to score some points here._ He whispered in her ear, "We'll still have time to be alone later."

"Come on, Beckett," Esposito said. "Give us a chance to get to know your boy here." His meaning and intentions were not lost on Beckett.

Kate turned to Lanie, silently begging assistance.

"Josh is leaving tomorrow, guys. Heading to…where you going this time, Josh?"

"Zimbabwe."

"So maybe they want some time alone tonight?"

"They'll have time, Chica. Couple hours, couple drinks. Besides…we need to know this guy's up to snuff—worth waiting for while he's off doctoring the world."

"Beckett wouldn't let us run a background check on you," Ryan told Josh. Kate fought a smile at their good cop, bad cop routine.

"Ran a red light once. Bar fight in college. Couple parking tickets. Not much to know."

"Bar fight, huh?" Lanie asked.

Lanie stood up and leaned over to her friend. "Kate," she whispered, "You know, maybe it's not such a bad idea, you coming with us…especially if he has violent tendencies. I know I'd feel better about it."

Kate considered her friend's logic. She didn't really want to drag this out and she didn't see them doing this over dinner. But, alcohol could complicate things and at least she'd have the boys there if things did get out of hand. And she was sure Castle wouldn't mind if she used his office—that would offer the measure of privacy she wouldn't get anywhere else.

Kate turned to Josh. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. When have I ever been able to celebrate a closed case with you? Maybe you all can tell me about it?"

"Ah, no. That's not gonna happen."

"Why not?"

"No shop talk at The Old Haunt," Ryan supplied. "Especially when my girl's there."

"Like we could twist her," Esposito teased.

"Still. It's a work-free weekend. Now let's get out of here before a body drops."

"I brought the bike, so…you wanna ride with me?" Josh winked at Kate.

"Thanks, but I'm gonna catch some girl time with Lanie."

"Hey, we'll see you there," Esposito said, kissing Lanie's cheek. "We should get going or Castle's going to beat us there." He and Ryan headed for the elevator.

"Castle's going?" Kate asked almost more to herself, eyes widening at this unexpected news. _Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!_

"Of course," Josh said, clenching his jaw. "You couldn't have told me?"

"I thought he was staying home?" Lanie called, obviously for Kate's benefit so Josh would know it was news to them.

"We talked him into coming," Ryan called over his shoulder.

"Great," Josh muttered.

"We can go somewhere else," Kate said quietly.

"No. It'll be okay." He needed these people to like him more than Castle. He was a likable guy. Shouldn't be too hard to win them over. "They're already expecting us. Besides, it'll give me a chance to make amends."

"No, I don't think this is a good idea."

"Come on. I'll be civil." _They'll see what a Jackass he is. Encroaching on my girl. I mean, come on. I'm a doctor. I save lives. He's a playboy writer. Master of Macabre, my ass._

"I don't think you're the one Kate's worried about."

"I can handle my own," Josh told Lanie. "I'll meet you there."

Lanie looked at Kate. "For a doctor, he's rather dense, you know."

"I don't think he was speaking as a doctor, Lanie."

"Still, if Castle is there, don't you think we ought to get there before the jealous boyfriend?"

Kate grabbed her purse. "Come on. I'm driving."

In the car, Kate was still contemplating how bad this could go. She hoped there weren't too many people from the 12th there tonight. "Do you think we should text Castle? Tell him not to come?"

"You want to text Castle and tell him not to come to his own bar because your possessive boyfriend is going to be there?"

"Right. Bad idea." Kate thought for a moment. "He's right though, to be upset that Castle has a key. I can't really blame him for feeling a little possessive. You know, like Javi's possessive of you. Their man code. If Castle and I were dating, he'd never be okay with Josh or some other man having a key to my apartment."

"True. But it only works if it's mutual. I wouldn't tell Javi, but you can for damn sure bet that if another woman had her paws on him, the claws would come out."

"I'll bet."

"You're the same you know."

"I've never really been the jealous type, Lanie."

"Yeah. Castle's changed a lot of things for you. You get jealous. You know you do. Hell, do you still have blondie's phone?"

"Shut-up, Lanie."

"I'm just pointing out that it's mutual. I mean Castle hates sharing you, too."

"And you know I'm working on fixing it. This night can't end soon enough."

"Maybe once Writer Boy realizes you're not with Motorcycle Boy anymore, you won't want it to end."

"Lanie! I'm not jumping from one man's bed to another. Come on, you know me better than that."

"I know you both need to pop those rocks before you self-destruct."

"Dramatic much, Lanie?"

"I'm jus' sayin'!"

* * *

><p>Lanie slid into the booth before Kate to sit along the far edge next to Jenny. Across from them the boys sat. It felt weird to be here without Castle. The boys must have thought so too, because they pulled up a tall bar stool and parked Josh in it at the end of the table. They all their spots, and they changed them about every now and then, but there wasn't a spot for Josh and they all knew it. The space next to Kate remained empty.<p>

Their present company took the opportunity to grill Josh about his travels, his work hours, his motorcycle, where he went to school, his bar fights. Kate tried to ignore it and stayed out the conversations as much as possible. So long as they weren't talking about her or Josh and her, she was fine with it. Twice she interrupted looking for an opportunity to get Josh alone.

She'd even checked with Brian to see if the office was unlocked. The next time he came with a fresh round, he let her know that he'd unlocked it for her. Josh watched curious at the exchange. "Great. Thanks, Brian."

"No problem."

"Oh, hey, Brian. Bring me the tab for him, okay?" she asked, nodding to Josh.

"Detective Beckett—you know the boss won't let me do that."

"He's not with the twelfth, so it's okay."

"Well, he's obviously a friend of yours, so I don't think the boss would like it if I let you pay."

"He'd like it less if I never came back, so, Bry—would you rather let me pay or tell him I'm not coming back?"

"You drive a hard bargain, Kate."

Kate grinned. "Thanks, Brian. Besides, he's not here. What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

"Or me. I'll bring it by when you're ready. Just let me know."

"Okay. I don't think we'll be here too much longer."

"So, you guys drink here for free, huh?" Josh asked.

"Owner likes us," Esposito said.

"He must. What'd you guys do to deserve that? I don't even get that kind of thanks and I've saved some pretty rich guys from some pretty dead-end aortas." Josh laughed at his own joke. _Saving lives always impresses people._

"Where is Castle, anyway?" Ryan asked. "He should be here by now."

"I don't know. I was wondering the same thing. I swear he was sick all day, but he wouldn't fess up."

"He hasn't texted you?" Jenny asked.

"No, I checked." Kate wondered if Castle was ignoring her texts. She'd let him know she was worried. Asked him to call.

"Maybe you should call Alexis or Martha? See if he's okay?" Lanie suggested.

"Come on, Babe. I'm sure he's fine. I don't know why you're worried about him."

"He's my partner, Josh. He said he was going to be here and he's not. Castle's not like that." Kate was already texting Alexis to see if she'd heard from her dad.

"I don't know why you keep calling him that. He's not even a cop. He's gonna get you hurt, maybe even killed."

"Whoa, man—" Ryan said.

"That's just—"

"Drop it, Josh." At that, Josh got up and walked off to the bathroom.

"Not a member of Castle's fan club, huh?" Jenny asked.

"That's putting it lightly," Kate confirmed.

"He should be thanking Castle if you ask me," Esposito said.

"I thank my lucky stars for Castle and all of you every night," Jenny said, turning slightly serious.

"Bro, this wedding shit's turning your girl into marshmallow fluff."

"What can I say? Alcohol makes me very honest."

"Can't say it has that same effect on me."

"You're gonna cry at my wedding, Javi. Probably more than Kevin."

"No chance."

"You'll be a big bawl baby."

"And if not at hers, definitely at mine," Lanie joked.

"Only if it's not me, Chica."

"Now, who's the sap?" Kate asked.

"Javier Esposito! Don't say shit like that to me if you're not serious."

"Who says I'm not serious?"

"Me and the fact that you're not on one knee with something big and sparkly shining in my eye."

"And I'm not a sap."

"Really, Javi? Because I know of a varsity jacket that says otherwise." Kate teased.

"Hey, Beckett," Esposito said, blushing, but not looking away. "Your boy's back."

Kate looked toward to door, expecting to find Castle. She looked back at Esposito confused.

"Not that one."

Kate narrowed her eyes and sneered half-heartedly at him before looking up to find Josh heading back to their table. She started to get up so she could finally have that talk with him, but her phone buzzed. _Castle. Finally!_

"Castle says sorry. He fell asleep and he's going back to bed."

Josh climbed up onto his chair. "Probably just didn't want to come hang out at some bar with the guy that about kicked his ass."

Everyone stopped and stared at him, jaws open—except for Kate, who glared at him, fists and jaws clenched. _He hadn't had _that _much to drink! _Castle made her boyfriend shine in a new light. Clearly, they needed to be done.

"What? He didn't tell you that, did he? Almost got hit ass handed to him."

"Josh, that's just wrong on so many levels." Kate's phone rang.

_Her face is a map of the world  
>Is a map of the world<br>You can see she's a beautiful girl  
><em>

"Alexis. Hey, sweetie."

"Kate. What's wrong?"

"Yo, Boss. Can we school him, or do you want to?"

Kate twirled her hand in motion that clearly gave them the floor. She was seething over Josh's comment, but more concerned about Castle, and she had Alexis on the phone. She left to go find a quieter, more private location.

"A," Esposito began, "Castle doesn't even know you're here."

"B," Ryan continued, "if you got into a scuffle with Castle and you didn't come out all black and blue, it's because Castle has the patience of a saint. Bet he didn't even hit you, did he?"

"'Cuz we've seen that man take down a professional hit man with his bare hands."

"And a body builder," Lanie piped up. She'd listened to Kate rant about Castle's inability to think first.

"Saved Kate's life," Ryan assured.

"More than once," Esposito added.

"C," Jenny joined the fun, "It's not just some bar."

"It's Castle's bar," the other three chorused, challenging him to say another word against their friend.

Kate came back. The tension at the table was different now. Her friends were talking amongst themselves and being cordial enough. They weren't intentionally excluding Josh, but it was clear from his demeanor that he had no desire to talk with _any_ of them.

"Can we go now?" Kate asked. "Or we could go downstairs and talk?"

"What's downstairs?"

"Castle's office."

"Think I'm good here. Just gonna sit right here and finish my beer."

They couldn't talk now. They were each too riled up. He needed to cool down. She needed to cool down. If they didn't, he'd accuse her of not committing or emotional infidelity or being dishonest herself when she was so big on trust. She'd say they were done, and he knew they needed more time. They were so good together when it was just the two of them. He couldn't lose her now, and he wouldn't lose her to Castle. Regardless of what her friends might think, he loved her.

Kate sat down and looked at Josh, who was refusing to look at her. "I'm ready when you are."

Lanie scooted over to Kate and gave her a sympathetic pat on the leg. Kate leaned over. "Lanie, this is a disaster. What do I do?"

Lanie shrugged and made the "beats me" face.

"What did Alexis say? How's Castle?" Jenny asked, uncaring about Josh's feelings on matter.

"She said he seemed fine. Tired, but fine. But he's been off all week."

The conversation turned to plans for Memorial Day weekend. If Kate planned to be in town, Mama Esposito fully expected her to be at their annual barbeque. They called a barbeque and they did grill some things…mostly burgers and hot dogs for the kids, but it was really about the Puerto Rican flavors. The Esposito family made some of the most delicious empanadas and tamales she'd ever tasted. Kate assured them she'd be there.

Josh was taking his sweet time with his beer. When he ordered another, Kate worried. He hadn't said anything in a while. Kate put her hand on his arm to draw his attention. "Hey, I thought we were going to dinner?" she asked quietly.

"I thought you liked spending time here? Speaking of…how come you never told me it was Castle's bar anyway?"

"What difference does it make? You knew who I was with. And I invited you to join us many times." They were speaking quietly, but Kate knew everyone at the table could hear them.

"I didn't know you were down here livin' the high life on your _partner's_ dime. Does he pay you for the ride-alongs, too?" _Man, why can't I keep my mouth shut tonight?_

Anger careened through Kate's veins. Josh had questioned her faithfulness indirectly only one other time. She's warned him then that if it happened again, they'd be done. Implying that she—or any of them—would use Castle for his money hit at the core some of her biggest fears: that he or others would think she was using him. She always thought it would be the press to imply such if they started dating. Already there'd been articles about Castle "slumming" at the 12th in order to get a hardcore taste of life on the streets. It wasn't a stretch to assume that articles about the gold-digging blood-suckers from the 12th would also appear. It was especially likely where the subject matter was the real-life "Nikki Heat" and her romantic relationship, real or perceived, with Richard Castle.

She worried about that as much as she worried that Castle would ultimately think she was only with him because she owed him. He'd done so much for her. Would he think that? That second insult managed to hit both fears in one.

Drawing on every ounce of control she'd practiced over the years to keep from throttling scumbags, Kate leaned back and said as evenly as possible, "I think you should leave."

Josh got up and went to the bar, presumably for his tab. Kate turned to her friends who had nowhere to go and couldn't avoid being witnesses to all this. "I'm sorry, guys. Not how I thought the night would go."

"Don't worry about it, Beckett. We'd rather be here than worried about you."

"I know…Look, I'm going to check on Castle."

"I thought Alexis said he seemed fine?" Ryan asked.

"She did. But she was distracted with her trip, and it's…I don't know. I'm just going to check on him."

Kate hesitated a moment. She wanted to ask to stay at Lanie's tonight, but if Esposito was going to be there, he'd know. Hell, they'd probably all know anyway. As it was, she couldn't guarantee Ryan and Esposito wouldn't set up shop outside her building tonight anyway, so she may as well just ask. "Lanie, are you going to be at your place tonight?"

Lanie nodded.

"Good. Your guest bed's calling my name. I don't want to have to spend the night wondering if he made a copy of my key. That okay?"

"Shocked you'd admit it, but glad you'll be there."

"I'm stubborn, Espo, not stupid. I'll see you guys later."

Kate made her way to the door. Josh called after her, "Hey, where you going? I thought you wanted to talk?"

Kate opened the door with her backside. "We're done talking," she proclaimed before disappearing up the stairs.

Josh walked back to the table where he'd spent the better part of the evening. He looked around, finally landing on Ryan.

"Tell me the truth. I have to know if she's worth fighting for. Is she sleeping with him?"

"Man—"

"Who the hell—"

"Listen—"

It was Lanie who broke through them all. "Oh, she's worth fighting for. But you don't stand a chance in hell."

"Says you."

"Says the Universe," Ryan retorted.

"Bro, she just broke up with you."

"No she didn't. She just needs to cool down. I was a jerk, but she'll come around." _Women did not break up with him._

Jenny was floored. "In what world does a woman say 'we're done talking' and then goes off to see another man not mean 'we're through'?"

_She went to see Castle? _"My world. We'll work it out. We always do. I'll be gone for a few weeks. It'll give us some time to reflect."

"Boy, you really are dense."

"I'm not dense. It just so happens that I might know Kate better than any of you think I do. I might have messed up this week, let Castle get the best of me, but Kate wants this. She wants us to work. That hasn't changed."

_Oh, so dense._

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><p><strong>So, don't kill me. There is a master plan... <strong>

**As always, I appreciate reading your takes! Feel free to be frustrated with the story (a little angst will do that), but try not to lambaste me too much! :o) Trust me, I'm having a hard time not rushing through the storyline to get Kate and Castle in bed.**


	34. Ch 34 Vertigo

**Hi all! Hope you are having a great weekend! Thanks for all the follows, alerts and reviews! You guys are awesome! Keep 'em coming and I will, too. If you all want a visual to go with the Richard Castle room description, go to Google. (Images and "Richard Castle bedroom" should do it.) Had to take a few liberties, but hey…gotta say: I loved the moment I realized that was an elephant in that photo, so that's where the detailed description stems from.**

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><p>Chapter 34 – Vertigo<p>

Kate turned her key in Castle's door without hesitation. Alexis was off at Six Flags and Martha was in New Haven for the weekend to visit her sister. If Rick was sleeping like she hoped, she'd just check on him and go. If it was something more, she'd stick around for a bit to make sure he didn't need anything.

Since Castle wasn't sprawled on the couch, and there was no light coming from his office, Kate ducked under the stairs toward Castle's room. In all the time she'd spent at Castle's loft, the most she'd ever seen of Castle's room was through a few inches of the cracked open door, which was enough to tell her that the hardwood floors extended into his room and, based on the natural light, there were windows. Being that the loft was in the corner of the building and she's seen the same thing in all three of the rooms upstairs, this was no surprise.

Castle's door was open, so she peeked in. The bed was not along the opposite wall, where she expected to find it. Instead, this wall had a floor to ceiling black and white image of a large tusked elephant walking next to a smaller baby elephant. Each pressed forward, with the large "daddy" elephant's ears out and alert, while the baby elephant playfully tugged at the tall grass beside her. _Hard to miss the symbolism there, Castle. Looks nice, though._

Kate turned to her left to take in the floor-to-ceiling bookcase, just like in his office. It was opposite the bed, and considering the gadget man that Rick was and figuring him to be the type to watch TV while in bed, she expected to find a TV centered along the wall. But there were no electronic gadgets, just books, a few bookends, a small sculpture, a couple vases, a bonsai tree, and a really interesting metal motion sculpture similar to what she'd seen during a museum visit a couple of years ago.

Then, off to the right at chest level, Castle had his own family of elephant figurines, with the rolled up dollar bill tucked in the first one's trunk. Castle's were metal, though, and very masculine. _Of course_, Kate thought, _no wonder he's so interested in the elephants on my desk. He knew._ So many times she'd had to stop him from playing with them. Hers were delicate, decorative…a gift from her grandmother when she made detective. They were supposed to bring good luck and fortune. _I wonder how long Castle has had them?_

Kate looked across the room, where Castle's bed was positioned between the two tall windows. Everywhere else the walls were a greyish taupe color that softened the dark greys and browns and the contrasting black and white photos, but between the windows, the wall was a metallic checkerboard design. She couldn't tell if it was tiled or not, but light reflected there.

Light also reflected off the ceiling, and for a moment when Kate looked up, all she could think was how tacky Castle was for having a mirror over his bed, but she quickly realized that it wasn't a mirror. Instead, two-thirds of the ceiling, from the elephant wall to the window on the right, was a covered in some sort of reflective drop-down ceiling—she imagined it was to cover pipes or wiring of some sort. The other window was two stories high and the wall that rose alongside it opened to his master bath and walk-in closet. It had built-in mantles spaced evenly up the length of the wall. Here, other decorative items, including another elephant, and a few plants resided.

Kate imagined Castle's bed would be made of solid wood; something dark, heavy, imposing…and impossible to miss, but his bed was literally softer than she'd pictured. It had a low-riding leather base and a matching, button-tufted chocolate leather headboard. She walked up beside the bed to peer at Castle who was hunkered under his designer comforter. Even in his sleep, the way he was curled up with the blanket tucked under his chin, Castle reminded her of a little boy.

If he'd had the same peaceful look she was used to seeing when she caught him napping or when he fell asleep on a stakeout or during a movie, Kate would have walked away, but that line was there, between his eyebrows, deeper than it should have been. Without thinking, Kate reached out. She allowed the edge of her thumb to just barely trace the vertical groove nestled above and between his eyes. She wanted to soothe it away, but didn't want to risk waking him. Before she fully withdrew, though, Kate felt the heat radiating from his forehead. Her feather light touch turned to concern; she traced the back of her hand along his brow and along his exposed cheek.

"Kate." Castle whispered her name so softly, she wasn't sure she'd heard it, but his eyes never opened and he never stirred. Between saying her name, his stressed look and the way he was cuddled under the blankets, Kate could have convinced herself he was just dreaming of the freezer. They both did. She knew that. But Castle had been acting odd all day—walking away, hand over his stomach, quiet and just generally subdued. Even though he tried to deny being sick, his fever gave him away.

Kate went to the laundry room cupboard where she knew the Castle family stored their first aid kit. She and Castle had needed it a time or two. No Tylenol there. Kate thought for a moment and decided to check the cupboards in the kitchen. That's where she kept hers. _Slim cupboard. Some spices. Cupcake inserts. Toothpicks. Oh! Cough syrup, one of Martha's outdated prescriptions, Benedryl and Excedrin. Aha! Motrin! _Kate took two and filled a glass with water.

Deciding it wasn't worth waking him up if he was sleeping well, Kate left the Motrin on his nightstand along with the glass of water. She was sure he would see it there, and if not, she could warn him before he made the effort himself. Knowing that he didn't feel well, she didn't plan to leave.

Kate considered calling Alexis, but didn't want to worry her if it wasn't serious. She also thought of calling Lanie to let her know what was going on, but she decided to wait a bit longer. She needed some alone time. She went to the living room and found the book she'd been reading the last time she was there, but she couldn't focus on the words in front of her.

Kate thought she'd spend the night lamenting the loss of a relationship that she'd spent hours analyzing. She even bought an expensive bottle of wine. Instead, she was questioning how well she really knew Josh and how she could have ever thought they had a chance? What was his true character? Was that what she saw tonight, or was that jealously and wounded pride? He'd never been jealous, except where Castle was concerned.

On the surface, she and Josh seemed like a logical pairing, but in practice, the constitution was all wrong. She'd certainly never felt that he was the one. Maybe she was closed off to him, but she also never felt the love he professed. Still, she wished things with Josh had gone differently. She didn't think they'd remain friends—they barely had time for one another while they were dating—but she had hoped for an amiable parting. Instead, it had been far too public for her tastes.

She bore him no ill will, except for the way he'd treated and embarrassed her friends. As for how he treated her, well…honestly, it was better than she expected. She was sure Josh would have an impassioned response to the breakup, but she never doubted that it had more to do with losing, than losing her. Josh had always had a confidence about him, not just in his abilities and looks, but also in the idea that he was a surefire catch. Of course, that kind of confidence can always be misinterpreted. Viewed from another angle, it's just cockiness.

She'd been prepared for him to lash out, and, really? He was tame compared to what she anticipated. The ride-along comment and basically calling her a whore was unexpected and completely uncalled for, but otherwise? Nothing he said surprised her. If she were in his shoes, she wouldn't have reacted so kindly. In fact, she wouldn't have hung around at all. She'd have just been done.

Kate heard Castle clamor out of his bed. It sounded like he hit something. Then she heard the unmistakable sound of the toilet seat clanking. In an instant, Kate was on her feet, hurrying to check on Castle. He was on his knees with his head bowed over the porcelain bowl. Each pitch forward was followed by that distinctive 'kerplunk.'

It hit her then, while Rick was hunched over the toilet bowl. It wasn't something she could fake or force or deny. She fought it, of course. She backpedaled. She bargained_. Not like this. It's not supposed to be like this._ But it had its own strength. It both pushed and pulled her forward. It drew her to him and she crouched at his side.

She felt pain in her chest as he retched. She had a strong stomach. She wished she could be sick for him. She brushed the hair from his temple, and then rested her hand on his back while he struggled not to dry heave. Her mind was occupied with concern for him, while somewhere it tallied all the ways he drives her insane and keeps her grounded. _But if he keeps me grounded, why am I feeling the most intense sensations of vertigo I've ever experienced?_

Kate tore some tissue from the roll and handed it to him. Castle wiped the putrid remnants of his half-churned lunch from his mouth and chin. He grimaced, half appalled, half grateful. But when his steel blue eyes to fully lifted to meet hers, it fully surfaced. _Dear God! I'm in love with Richard Castle! _

Maybe she realized it before. Maybe she didn't. But she'd never admitted it, never acknowledged it, and now, the intensity with which the emotion rushed through her had her momentarily struggling for air. She'd forgotten how to breathe. She fell back onto her butt, and scooted herself against the wall. She stared, wide-eyed at Castle, oddly aware of the cooler temperature emanating from the toilet that sat between them. She fought the irrational urge to cover her chest for fear that Castle could see what was gripping her there.

Neither spoke, until finally, it occurred to Kate that she should get him water to rinse his mouth out. She started to move and Castle spoke.

"What are you doing here, Kate? You shouldn't be here. I don't want you to get sick."

"I wanted to check on you. I'm going to get you some water." Kate stood and walked the few steps to the night stand. She grabbed the water and the Motrin. She handed them both to Castle, who took each without compliant. Castle seemed shocked and drained and hadn't thought to flush the toilet, so she did.

"Oh my God, Castle! Is that _blood_? How long's this been going on?"

"You should go, Beckett."

"You don't stop being my partner just because you're sick. Answer me."

"You don't need to see me like this, and I don't want you to get sick."

"So? You've seen me at my worst. You're sick. It happens. Have you been to the doctor?"

"No. I'm fine, and whether you want to believe it or not, I am quite capable of getting by on my own. Even managed to raise another human being. You should leave."

"Where's this coming from?"

"Oh, what? You'd let me stay while you puked your guts out? Hold _your _hair back?"

"Right. Like I've ever had any choice in whether you stay or go."

A litany of memories flooded her mind.

_You have a fan. I'm flattered? He says he has to do research. Oh no. Oh yes._

_Stay in the car. Stay down. Stay away from my mom's case. _

_There's something I need you to do. Name it. Go home. Forget it. _

_I was thinking...I was thinking maybe—I should go home. Get some rest. Long day. _

_I thought this would be our last case. _

_You're not going to go away no matter what I do, are you?_

_Oh no. I'm not leaving. I'm here to protect you._

_L.A._

Whether or not she wanted him to stay or go or come along, it had always been on his terms. She had no control. She'd gotten the Angelica, but really, Castle wanted to go. _Who did he think he was he kidding?_

"You know what? It doesn't matter because you wouldn't need me. You have a doctor to—"

"Castle, it's not—"

"Just go, Beckett. You don't belong here."

"What do you know about where I belong?"

"How about with your boyfriend who hates me and who's flying to Timbuktu in the morning?"

"He doesn't hate you, Castle. He was going to apologize to you tonight."

"Oh, so he was going to apologize for my temper? You're right. He's a real upstanding guy. Good man, you've got there, Beckett. Very noble."

"Castle, I know you—I was wrong. I know you don't need his apology, but would you accept mine already?"

"Fine. Apology accepted. Now go."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"I need you to leave!"

"No."

"Please, just get out."

"I'm _not_ leaving."

"Out. Out of my bathroom."

"Castle, I'm not leaving you here alone."

"My, God, woman! Let me shit in peace!"

Castle forcibly pushed her through the door before slamming it in her face. Kate stood stunned on the other side, incredibly embarrassed about fighting with him. It never even occurred to her that she was preventing him from engaging in a very urgent, very basic bodily function.

Kate remained immobile for a moment longer, replaying what was said, wondering how much of it stemmed from hurt and anger and how much of it was more of an involuntary visceral response? Another couple of moments passed before Kate realized she was standing right outside the door listening to Castle blow the toilet out and, frankly, smelling his loose dregs. She left his room before she further embarrassed each of them.

_Blood._ Kate grabbed her phone.

"Lanie, he's bleeding!" Kate said, before Lanie even had a chance to say hello.

"Who's bleeding? Castle? What'd you do to him? Did Josh follow you?"

"What? Yes. No. What?"

"Who's bleeding, Kate?"

"Castle. There's blood in his vomit. And that's definitely not good, right?"

"Girl, I'm gonna skip over the 'why are you inspecting Castle's vomit?' part, and ask is it a lot of blood?"

"No, not really, I guess. What's a lot? I mean, it's a noticeable amount."

"So, you're sure it's blood and you're not overreacting?"

"Well, it's not pasta sauce! I see blood and gross stuff all the time, Lanie."

"Yeah, but typically not coming out of someone you care about. So, it's a lot of blood?"

"Well, it's not just a few stringy lines, but it's not bucket loads, either."

"Is there anything else?

"Well, earlier today, he was clammy, but he didn't have a fever and when I got here, he was sleeping, but he had a fever. And he just got sick, less than ten minutes ago and then…"

"Then what?"

"Well, now he's sick on the other end."

"He has diarrhea?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Can't say it, Kate?"

"Yes…it's just…nevermind."

"Detective Kate Beckett afraid to say 'diarrhea.' Never thought I'd see the day."

"Lanie, that's just—"

"Diarrhea, Diarrhea. Diiiii-ar-RHE-A!." Lanie tried to make it through the whole thing as she sang it the tune of _Mamma Mia!_, but laughed pretty hard. Kate could hear Esposito in the background wondering what was going on.

"Really, Lanie? I'm surrounded by children," she muttered to herself. "Fine! He has diarrhea. Happy?"

"What the hell, Kate!" Castle walked into the living room.

"She's a doctor, Castle!"

"For dead people! Jesus, Kate! I'd think you of all people would understand a little about privacy!"

"Ask him how long this has been going on."

"And you should know when to call a doctor."

"How do you know I didn't? How do you know I don't have stomach cancer or some roto—?"

Kate dropped her phone. "Oh my, God! Castle, do you have cancer?" Her voice was rough at the news.

"What? No!"

"Then I'm gonna kill you!" Kate started after him, fully intending to inflict bodily harm.

"It was a rhetorical question, Beckett." Castle sidestepped putting the oversized chair beside the sofa between the two of them.

"I'm still here." The speaker phone button was somehow depressed upon landing. Kate threw a sofa pillow at Castle and scooped down to pick up the phone.

"I'll make it easy on you, Lanie. COD is strangulation with resulting asphyxia."

"Perlmutter's on. Besides, he's sick you're supposed to be nice to him. You could try—"

"Yeah, be nice to me."

"Am I on speaker?"

"Yes."

"Castle, how long you been sick?" Lanie's voice sounded even sharper via speaker phone.

Castle didn't answer he just crossed his arms over his chest, and glared at Kate.

"Castle, if you don't answer me, Ima smack you."

"I'll do it for you." Kate started walking toward Castle. He circled around the chair.

Kate started to follow him, but stopped and sat on arm of the chair and sighed. "Castle, please. Sit down. You look like hell. We've been worried about you."

Castle relented, and sank into the chair Kate was perched on. Castle leaned forward and a bit toward Kate to find a more comfortable position. Kate reached out and pulled him across the last couple of inches separating them, letting his head rest on her upper thighs while she rubbed his shoulders.

"How long have you been sick?"

Castle sighed, too. "I didn't start vomiting until I got home, and I've been alternating ever since."

"And the other? When did that start?"

Castle didn't answer.

"Rick?"

"Wednesday night."

"After dinner? Oh my—Alexis and Martha didn't get sick, did they?"

"No. Dinner was delicious, I swear, Kate, it had nothing to do with anything you made. I wasn't feeling great even before that."

"Kate cooked?"

"Later, Lanie."

"Anything else?"

Castle flushed. "Uh...can't I just take some aspirin and go back to bed?"

"Castlle, what else?" Kate asked.

"Let's just say it would seem I've had more than my fair share of the magical fruit."

"Gas, Castle. You have gas. Geez! What is it with you two?"

"How long have you had the fever?" Kate asked.

"Just tonight."

"Okay. Kate, give him something for that. Nothing with Ibuprophen, if his stomach's torn up, it'll only make it worse."

"I'm sorry, Castle. I'm making it worse. Lanie, I already gave him Motrin."

"It's okay, Kate. It's really more of a problem over the long-term. Just don't give him anymore. Tylenol's okay."

"Are you sure?" Kate asked.

"Are you an MD? Any pain, Castle? Actually, you know what? Nevermind. You need to go to the hospital, and they're just going to ask you all these same questions more than once."

"I can't go to the hospital. I'll just see my doctor on Monday."

"Castle, you're vomiting blood. You really need to go to the ED."

"Lanie, you couldn't have told me that when I first told you he was vomiting blood?"

"What? I wanted to know how bad it is. Castle, I hope you feel better. You should really take a stool sample."

"We're _not_ taking a stool sample," the two responded together, disgusted.

"What? You have evidence bags and gloves. Might not have to wait as long at the hospital if you do."

"We'll take our chances," Kate said. "Castle, go change. We're going to the hospital."

"Kate, no. They have no respect for privacy. Kinda like you two. This has been the worst interrogation ever."

"Stop whining, Castle. You pick, we go to the ED or l call Alexis and ruin her trip."

Castle growled at her, but obliged and headed to his room.

"Take me off speaker."

"How serious is this, Lanie?"

"Blood in vomit's never good, and it's usually accompanied by abdominal pain or a burning sensation. There's no way to tell how serious it is without an evaluation. That's why you need to get him to the hospital. I have a good guess, but…"

"What do you think it is?"

"I don't want to speculate or worry you. Just find out for sure and then go from there."

"I'm not going to like it, am I?"

"'Fraid not, Baby, but you got bigger problems."

"Like?"

"Josh."

"What do you mean?"

"He thinks you're still together—that this is just a misunderstanding, and you'll work it out."

"What?"

"Actually had the nerve to ask us out right if you and Castle were sleeping together and then proceeded to tell us that he knows you and what you want better than we do. And he _knows_ you want him."

"What? Lanie. That's just all wrong."

"I know, Baby."

"I need this to be over."

"I know."

"But I have to stay with Castle."

"Um-hmm."

"I guess I can catch him before he goes to the airport. Clear the air."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, Lanie. We'll just be sitting there."

"I'll call you when we know something."

"You better."

"Thanks, Lanie."

"See ya, Girl."

Kate turned around to see Castle sitting on the stairs. His choice of attire was a testament to how bad he was really feeling. It was the most dressed down she'd ever seen him—at least for a public appearance. He wore navy lounge pants with two white sporty stripes down the sides and a white long sleeve tee with the Captain America shield where the breast pocket would have been. They made quite a pair, with him dressed down and her looking like a walking Ann Taylor ad.

"You don't have to come with me, you know."

Kate held out a hand to him and pulled him to his feet. "Come on, Castle." She stopped by the door and grabbed her keys. She glanced at him, he didn't have pockets, so she threw his wallet in her purse. She handed him his sunglasses and winked at him. "We can pretend we're there for me. I can limp my way in. Unless you have some of that fake blood handy?"

"It's sweet, but I don't think they'll buy it. Just promise me you won't call Alexis."

"I promise I won't call Alexis," Kate said, "until we know what's going on. And then, I promise I won't call her without telling you first."

* * *

><p>They'd spent nearly two hours in the waiting room before someone came in and, for the first time that night, Castle was recognized. Kate would have ignored it if the man had simply recognized Castle, but by the third time he'd changed seats to make his way closer, Kate began to get upset. Castle was slouched down in his chair, sunglasses on, asleep, Kate thought. When it looked like his phone was pointed in their direction, Kate pulled her badge from her purse and positioned it on her belt. They did not need a repeat of last weekend. She was an officer of the law—she couldn't and wouldn't be stealing a phone on Castle's behalf. Her own phone was off, just like the signs posted around the ED said it should be. When the man looked up, she gestured to them.<p>

"Best just to pretend he's not there. He's harmless, really. Just curious. Too nervous to approach, but wonders if he's right."

"How do you know?"

"He's searching on his phone, not pointing it at us. Plus, there's a security mirror over there. He's texting, but too polite to take a picture."

"Polite?"

"Well, if he tries to follow me into the bathroom, I'll reconsider."

"Castle, I didn't—"

"So flustered. Your blush is very becoming, Beckett." Her blush deepened.

"I'm going to go see what's taking so long."

Kate went to the window. She managed to convince the registrar that they were not doing their best to protect their patient's privacy if they continued to allow Richard Castle to wait in a very public waiting room. That she was fiddling with her badge the whole time she was speaking probably helped convince the front desk nurse to find him a spot to wait in their fast track area. She was pretty sure Castle wouldn't approve of her methods. Castle didn't mind paying for special treatment or using his name to help someone else, but she was sure he wouldn't do it for himself. If her badge helped get him home faster, so be it.

It was another hour before they were brought back to an official exam room. The only real improvement there was that Castle had a bed to rest on and the single chair in there was more comfortable than either of the other two she'd planted herself in thus far. A nurse came in to take Castle's blood pressure and weights and measures. She asked Castle all the same questions Lanie had asked, plus the standard questions about smoking, drinking and sexually transmitted diseases. Kate wondered if she shouldn't leave when it came to the more personal questions, but it was over before she determined one way or another.

It was after midnight before they ever even saw the doctor, who managed to ask almost all the same questions as the nurse. He ordered blood work, and before long, there was a tech there. Castle tried out every vampire joke he had on the man, but he never cracked a smile. "Tough crowd," Castle joked. As many times as he'd been in the bathroom, Kate was amazed he still wanted to joke.

Finally, around two in the morning, the doctor showed up with test results.

"Mr. Castle. I'm sorry to keep you and your wife waiting."

"Oh, we're not—"

"When can we go home?" Castle asked.

"Well, I'm afraid not tonight. You're dehydrated, so that's a concern, and, based on what you've told me, the acidity level in your stomach is higher than we'd like. We're going to give you something to help neutralize it and help with the nausea."

"Can't I get it and go?"

"Well, I'd rather keep you overnight, get you hydrated. Also, your blood pressure is higher than we'd like to see, so I want to test that again once your other symptoms are under control. Make sure it's not normally that high."

"It says here you're turning forty in a few weeks." Castle nodded. "That's when we start recommending annual prostrate exams. We can take care of that here if, you'd like."

Kate smirked as Castle reddened. "Can we not talk about this?"

"Well, it's not a test we need in order to provide appropriate treatment, but if you don't do it here, I really must insist that you schedule one with your regular physician. You should also get a stress test."

"Okay."

"Do you have a high stress job, Mr. Castle?"

"What? No. I'm a writer—about as low stress as you can get."

"Mr. Castle, you have gastritis, and I have to warn you, you're at very high risk for developing ulcers, if you don't have one already. You don't have the bacteria that normally produces these symptoms, so I can only assume that it's a combination of stress and diet. I'm quite certain that the spicy foods you had earlier were responsible for your body's aggravated response tonight, but while certain foods can cause that kind of reaction, stress is normally the underlying factor that presents the right conditions for food to become such a potent stimulant."

"Gastritis, huh?" Castle asked.

"If not at work, have you experienced stress in other areas of your life? A recent trauma maybe? Or a strained relationship? Kids gone wild?"

Castle didn't look at her. Didn't budge in her direction at all, but she knew. She had stressed him out. Hell, even Lanie knew. _You're killing him, Kate. He actually looks unhealthy._

"No, there's nothing." Castle answered.

"Well, we're going to get you transferred. I want to give the meds some time to work, hopefully reduce some of the inflammation in your stomach lining, then we'll do an endoscopy tomorrow morning to check for ulcers."

The physician turned to Kate, who'd been silent all along. "You'll get discharge papers tomorrow, but the biggest thing you can do is watch his diet. Nothing spicy, nothing greasy, nothing acidic. That means limited alcohol and coffee, and you'll probably both be better off if you avoid foods that make him gassy. Oh, and try not to stress him out."

The doctor turned back to Castle. "Don't worry. Once your stomach lining repairs itself, you can go back your normal diet, just a more balanced version of it."

"Any idea how long that will be?" Kate asked.

"I'm recommending a good two months. Follow up with your regular doctor after that."

A nurse assistant showed up then to transfer Mr. Castle to an in-patient room and insisted he ride in the wheelchair, per hospital policy. They had him in a new room more quickly than they'd done anything else that night. His new nurse started him on a saline drip, to replenish his fluids, she said, and gave him Primperan intravenously to help with the nausea.

"You should go home." Castle said after the nurse left.

"I can't just leave you here, Castle."

"Sure you can. I'm a big boy. I'll be fine."

"You don't want to be here alone."

"Maybe not, but you don't have to be here."

"No, I need to know we're okay. And leaving you here alone would not be okay."

"We're good, Beckett. I've told you that."

"Rick, I don't want you to just say 'we're good,' I want us to actually be good. This week's been…awful, and I've missed you, us. And I'm sorry for screwing up, for being angry last weekend and then for being mad about my key and for accusing you of starting it."

"Beckett—"

"Please, Castle. It's hard enough. Just pay attention so I don't have to repeat myself."

"I do trust you, and I know you respect me and you'd defend me. And well, I know you don't like Josh and I've never seen him get worked about anything…except you. So I assumed that's what the fight was about—that Josh probably said something about me or our partnership…or us. I still don't know exactly what happened, but I know you didn't, uh, fight with him, so thank you." Then Kate laughed and poked his side. "You've demonstrated a level of restraint I didn't know you possessed."

"You should know by now, I'm much more subtle."

"Poker?"

"Yeah," Castle smiled and nudged her shoulder. "I mean unless someone's trying to kill you."

Kate dug into her pocket and pulled out her key. She pressed it into his palm. "Try to keep ahold of this, this time, okay?"

"Kate, are you sure? I mean, Josh was pretty—"

"Castle, Josh doesn't have any say in the matter. It's _my_ apartment, _my_ key. I want you to have it."

"If you're sure?" Kate nodded. "Thank you." They sat in silence for a bit, each lost in thought. Kate leaned forward to rest her head on the bed. She was aware that she was still holding Castle's hand, but she pretended not to notice. She was just starting to doze off when Castle squeezed her hand and withdrew his.

"You should probably go, spend some time with him. Surprise him with breakfast or something. I know I'd want a proper send off—something beautiful to help tide me over." Castle paused. "It's good what he does, you know? Not everyone has the capacity to face that heartbreak up close. To see those kids and know that for everyone you help, there are a dozens more you'll never even see—and Josh? He's not just throwing money at it. He's actually doing something."

"That's very kind of you, Castle."

"It's just…what I said earlier? It's not true. I mean, you could do worse, you know? But, really, you should go and see him before he leaves."

"I saw him earlier, Castle, and I'll catch him before he leaves. It's late anyway, and you should get some sleep."

"You, too. In a bed."

"I'm not sleeping with you, Castle, and I'm not leaving."

"_I_ didn't go there, but you need sleep. You're exhausted. And I don't want him _or you_ blaming me if things go south."

"Trust me, Rick, when things go south between Josh and me, it'll be all your fault." She meant to rib him, but she couldn't shake the seriousness in her tone. She hoped, if it came through, he would attribute it to lack of sleep.

Kate leaned back in her chair. She'd call Josh in the morning. It wasn't ideal, but he had to know they were done. Her head wasn't there though, it was wrapped up in thoughts of the man sleeping before her. _When did I fall in love with him? And how did I not know? And did it happen all at once? _She always thought she'd feel herself falling, that she'd know, because she would have thought about it first and given herself permission. She'd allowed herself to want him, to start getting comfortable with the idea of something more, but she'd never agreed to this!

* * *

><p><strong>Oh, these chapters are so long! This is my life. My poor neglected children… just kidding… kids and hubby are my life. And I'm lucky my hubby loves me. Seriously, today I slept in (after staying up reading your FFs 'til 3AM), balanced the checkbook and made lunch. My husband, on the other hand, mowed, cleaned out the shed, bathed the kids in the sprinkler, did the dishes, cleaned the bathroom, and did a load of laundry—all while I sat on my bum and wrote and rewrote. Actually…I guess you're lucky he loves me, too, or there's no way you'd be reading this right now! <strong>


	35. Ch 35 Bubble

**My hubby blushes from all the love you sent him for letting me write last weekend—then he went and discovered **_**Dexter **_**Season 5 on Amazon VOD and hijacked the computer for the last week…ah, such is life…(or death)? We don't watch TV anymore…just Castle for me, and Dexter, Breaking Bad and whatever the Zombie one is for my husband. (Not sure what it's called, but I'm disturbed that I actually like it…or any of them that he watches!)**

**Anyway, I've been going long-hand, I've got the next two and a half chapters mostly done, but we'll see what they look like typed up. Until then, here's a happy chapter that I got carried away with because I was having too much fun with…well, you'll see!**

**Thanks, Elle, for "fic of the day"-ing this! For anyone who hasn't stumbled upon it, Daphne Beauty has a great Castle/Kate Tumblr that I very much enjoy. I recommend googling it since I don't think hyperlinks work well here. **

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><p>Chapter 35 – Bubble<p>

Castle opened the door to the loft and stepped aside to allow Kate to pass before him. Kate stopped at the table with the collection basket where Castle usually dropped his keys and wallet. She leaned on it while she unzipped her boots, finally freeing her feet from their stilted confines for the first time in thirty-two hours.

Castle took one look at the relief on her face and immediately regretted that she discovered he wasn't feeling well.

"I'm going to go draw you a bath."

"Castle, really that's not necessary. Let's just eat."

"Bath for you. I'll figure out eats."

"You should go rest while I figure out lunch. That's kind of the point of me being here."

"But I actually slept in a bed last night."

"You mean the 'sheetrock covered in a maxi pad'?"

"You slept wadded up in a chair."

"I've done stakeout on a park bench in the rain."

"Always got to one up me, huh? Come on. Bath. It's the least I can do. 'Specially since—"

"Can we not talk about that? Again?"

"Fine…if you take a bath."

"Fine." Kate relented. "Actually a bath sounds nice, but I can get it going myself." Kate stepped onto the first stair. "And you can shower. You're not exactly fresh."

"Not up there. You're going to use my bathtub."

_That huge, corner bath with windows for walls all around it that I only caught a glimpse of earlier? _"I don't think so, Castle."

"Trust me. You'll love it. The girls always do."

_Definitely no_, Kate thought, taking another step up the stairs. Castle caught the look on her face through the open stairs and realized what he said.

"I meant the ladies of the house." Kate paused, wondering if he really meant that. "I rarely use it, really. But Mother and Alexis like to hijack it."

Kate hadn't moved from the two stairs she was stopped on. She was considering something, but Castle wasn't sure if was the bath or something else. Castle thought he was close to snagging her. He walked up to the rail and looked up at her.

He grinned. "Allow me to paint you a picture, Detective."

"Really, Castle?"

"Imagine yourself approaching the tub. It's overflowing with a thick cloud of lavender-scented globules. You slip your robe down your shoulders. It falls to the floor with a light 'woosh,' but you don't notice because the surround sound system just began ejecting the first notes of your favorite sonata. You lift your leg, but hover momentarily before sinking your foot in, testing for the perfectly thermal water you know you'll find there." Castle paused, damning his vivid imagination, but unable to stop. He'd been talking with his hands, but that ended when he reached for her hand to draw her back down the stairs. He tugged, and Kate followed with little resistance.

"You lower your lithe little body past the mountain of bubbles." Castle looked down the length of her body appreciatively. "Instantly, you feel water rushing toward you from all angles. You realize it's not just a bathtub, it's a whirlpool."

"I can—"

Castle held a finger up to her lips and shook his head, and scolded her for interrupting his story. "The water feels slick on your skin. You run your hand over your legs—you realize your bubble bath is accented with essential oils. Thyme, if you're not mistaken. You lean back, tensing for a moment when you come up against the cool surface. But you're so hot," he smirks at her, quickly lifting his eyebrows, "it warms immediately."

Kate felt flush. As if his words alone weren't enough, she couldn't help but picture the scene he laid out before her with a particular man responsible for her disrobement. She imagined him settled into her chest, her legs hooked over his thighs.

She took a deep breath. "You paint quite a picture," Kate said. "For a writer."

Kate suddenly realized her hand was still in his. She pulled it out and brought it to her aching neck. "Are you sure you don't mind?" she asked, looking up at him.

_Mind? Mind? Naked Kate Beckett in my bathtub? I might start sleeping there._

"Promise. Why don't you go raid Alexis' closet? I'll get everything ready."

When Kate came back downstairs clothes in hand, she saw Castle coming out of his bedroom with rubber gloves and his cleaning caddy. She was sometimes struck by how normal he was. Out in public, he was glitzy, with town cars and glamorous women at his beck and call. Here, he cleaned toilets, folded his mother's laundry and made dinners. Once, when she arrived, she caught him and Alexis Swiffer-ing in the socks Castle had fashioned for them.

"Sorry. I had to scrub it down first. Not the tub. Well, I can clean that, too, if you want. But, ugh, symbolic purging more than anything, you know?"

"I think between me last weekend and you this weekend…" Kate sighed heavily and shook her head. She really did feel bad for him. "We've had enough 'purging' to last us a long while. I'm ready to forget it."

"Come 'ere," Castle lunged at her with the rubber gloves, a sponge and a devious grin. "I'll scrub eet from your miiiind!" He delivered this in his best evil menace voice.

"EEWW!" Kate shrieked and ducked away from him. "Castle, I swear to God! If those things even come close to touching me!"

Kate escaped to Castle's bedroom already smelling the bleach from the cleaner mixed with the lavender bubbles he'd described.

Kate pushed the door to the bathroom shut. Her eyes followed the tiled floor to the bathtub. The shower, the bathtub—or rather its outer walls and the surrounding ledge—were covered in the same half inch tiles that covered the floor. The tiles, in black and white, and various shades of browns, creams and greys, also went half-way up the walls before they met a crisp white molding. The upper half of the walls were painted in a light, but warm grey. The bathroom was very much an extension of the bedroom.

The bathtub was already mounded in bubbles, just as Castle described. In fact, there wasn't much he hadn't touched on. There was music playing. He'd placed a couple of plush towels on a heated towel rack. And, even though it was the middle of the day, Castle had even lit a couple of candles. She smiled at Castle's romantic side. Her smile grew when she saw a copy of _Naked Heat_ sitting there. _Typical Castle_, she thought.

Kate slipped out of her clothes, feeling like an exhibitionist on display for all of New York City—or at least the people of New York in the buildings across from her. She leaned back in the bathtub. After adjusting the jet that was just too forceful on her sore lower back, she let the water wash over her and completely relaxed.

It felt luxurious to sit there with the water surging against her body, not having to do anything or be anywhere. Kate couldn't bring herself to lift her any part of her body from the water. The book lay beside her forgotten. She lazed there—not accounting for time, not worrying…not really thinking anything at all outside of how oddly relaxed she was.

Kate stirred slightly upon hearing her name and a light tapping.

"Hmm?" Kate murmured her answer, still waking up, surprised that she'd dozed off. It was not loud enough for Castle to hear.

"Kate?" Castle asked, nudging the door open. Kate could see in the mirror that he had his head turned to avoid seeing her.

"It's okay, Castle. I'm completely covered. Honestly, it looks like the Michelin man exploded in here."

"You can never have too many bubbles. The trick is to add a little baking soda."

"You put baking soda in here?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm. I'll have to try that sometime."

"You're trying it now."

"I mean at home."

Castle was looking at Kate through the mirror now, but he still hadn't come in. Kate cocked her eyebrow at him questioning what he wanted, but Castle was lost in a fog. He was thinking Kate looked pretty at home right where she was.

"Did you need something, Castle? Are you feeling ok?"

"Fine, actually. I, uh, do you mind if I grab my shampoo and stuff? Thought I'd take a quick shower, too." Castle looked a little nervous. "I'll be quick, and promise not to peek."

"It's fine, Castle. Like I said, I'm covered."

"Good. In that case…I brought you something." He slinked into his room and was back quickly. He held up a short-stemmed, large-bowled burgundy wine glass. "I almost forgot the crème de la crème: a glass of my vintage Grand Barossa Shiraz. I thought it would pair well with the bath."

Kate smiled. "It'll make me heady. Nothing but bad coffee today, remember?"

Castle walked over and set the glass within her reach. He sat down on the edge of the tub, across from Kate. Her hair was down. He normally imagined her relaxed in her claw-foot tub with her hair pulled up into a loose not. Here, though, her hair hung loose around her shoulders. Small tendrils curled around her face and others clung to her neck. Between the tub's depth, all the bubbles and her hair, he could just barely make out the skin of her shoulder.

"I made up some tuna, so whenever you're ready, we can have tuna boats."

"Tuna boats?"

"That's what we call them. Don't know why. Grilled cheese with tuna. Used to do them open-faced, but not since we got the Panini press."

"Hmm."

"You like tuna." It wasn't really a question. Castle was still staring at her, but his eyes weren't roaming. Kate was feeling warmer. Her cheeks flushed. Castle noticed, and realized he was embarrassing her. She was beautiful, though, and he found it impossible to take his eyes off her. She turned her head from him to look back out the windows.

"There are binoculars," he nodded to the window sill, "if you feel like…birdwatching."

"Can people see in here, Castle?"

"No. One-way. Like at the precinct. Shaded, too."

"This is wonderful. I can't believe you don't take advantage of it more often."

"Not much of a bath man, myself."

"Kate?"

She didn't answer. She knew what was coming and she didn't want to talk about it. She saw him extend his hand and tap a switch on the wall. "You have to turn the jets off before you drain the water."

Kate looked at him and smiled. "Okay. Anything else?"

"I'm sorry you didn't make it at least to the airport. I should have—"

She shouldn't have asked. "Castle, I've told you. It wasn't your fault. I forgot to turn my phone back on."

"But you wouldn't have even had your phone off if you hadn't been at the hospital with me. You missed spending time with him and seeing him off because of me."

Kate leaned her head back and squeezed her eyes shut in frustration. "He's going to be gone for three weeks, Castle. _Three _weeks. One day doesn't make a difference in the grand scheme of things."

"Still, you should have been with him, not stuck in the hospital with me."

"Castle, I'm well aware of where I was. It was a choice _I_ made. Besides, I saw Josh yesterday."

"But you ended up here, so that couldn't have gone how you planned. It's just—I know you care about Josh, and I just, I feel horrible. I wish—"

"You can stop feeling guilty. The truth is we kind of got into it yesterday, so—"

"Because of me."

Kate looked up at Castle. She didn't know if it was a question or not, but she saw the concern in his eyes. She wouldn't lie to him, but couldn't tell him the truth either.

"I wish there was some way I could make it up to you."

Kate leaned forward, and saw his eyes darken when the move exposed her right shoulder and back. She smiled, knowing the effect her nearness, her nakedness had on him.

"Castle. I'm sitting here, luxuriating in whirlpool tub that's clearly big enough for two." She saw his eyes widen. "I'm not offering to share, Castle." _Not yet._

"I'm just saying…it feels like I'm at a resort, more relaxed than I've been in a long while. I have a beautiful view, a glass of wine, a good book…decent company—even if he talks too much. What more could I possibly want? Besides, I'm supposed to be taking care of you, yet you've done all this _and _have lunch ready to go, so please, stop worrying about this. Doctor's orders, not just mine. Please stop talking about this, and _please_…go take a shower!"

Kate leaned back again and closed her eyes, waiting for him to leave.

"So, you're not mad at me?" Castle asked after a few moments.

"Getting there." She wasn't really. She didn't have the energy.

Castle pulled his phone from his pocket and readied the camera. "Fast track to Angryville," he said under his breath.

Kate lolled her head toward him, saying "What?" as she opened her eyes. _Click._

"CASTLE!"

Despite her nakedness, he was actually afraid that she might run after him. He ran out, grabbing his shampoo and scooping up her worn work clothes on the way.

* * *

><p>Kate came out of Castle's bedroom, towel drying her hair.<p>

"Castle, where'd you put my br—?"

"Bronte!" Castle yelled. "Uh, Bronte's in the office."

"Bronte?" Kate questioned. She looked up to find him standing at the door, with a very interested Lanie and Javier looking her way. Kate froze, very aware of Alexis' light T-shirt and the way it draped over her slightly damp body.

"I don't know, Castle," Lanie nodded toward her. "I'd say she's looking for her bra." Javier blushed.

"Lanie!" Kate dropped the towel to hang over her shoulders and headed upstairs to find a tank to wear under Alexis' tee.

"W-washer," Castle tried to explain at the same time. "It's in the wash."

"The washer?" Kate cried. "Castle, get your ass up here now! And bring your phone." Kate stepped into Alexis' room and shut the door. She found a body-hugging tank and put it on for some extra coverage under the tee. She opened the door to see Castle standing there. She grabbed his shirt and pulled him into Alexis' room.

Lanie and Javier watched the whole exchange from downstairs. Javier said something about the doghouse, but Lanie shushed him.

"Quiet! I've got to hear this!" Lanie said.

"The washer? God! Castle! You're going to ruin another one of my bras! I just bought that one! You live with two women. How can you keep screwing that up?"

"They aren't as sensitive as you are. And if they get messed up, they just buy new ones. I'll buy you a new one."

"You are _not_ buying me underthings! Just stop doing my laundry!"

"Well, _excuse_ me. I thought you'd like wearing your own clothes home."

"And you couldn't have told me we have company? Now they're going to thing we're sleeping together!"

"They just got here," Castle hissed. "Lanie said she wanted to see for herself how I was doing. I didn't _know_ they were coming. Or that you were going to come out talking about your _underthings_."

"Well, maybe if you hadn't stolen my clothes, I wouldn't have had to!"

"I didn't steal them. I'm _washing_ them. I was being nice."

"Sure you were. Where's your phone?"

"Nope. Not getting that one back, Detective."

Kate grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back, a maneuver he'd seen her use dozens of times. She slammed him into the door.

Downstairs, Javier wondered if he should go rescue Castle. Lanie hoped they were getting it on.

"Phone." Kate said as she pressed against his backside with her hips, letting her body feel for his phone. She reached around to his chest and felt for his phone in his breast pocket.

"If you wanted to feel me up Detective, you just had to ask." Castle's voice was huskier than it had been. Kate's own heartbeat had sped up in a way it never had when she had a suspect in front of her. Of course, she didn't normally hip check suspects to check for weapons or drug paraphernalia, either.

"Shut up, Castle." Kate shoved him again. She slid her left arm, still wrapped around him, down his torso until she reached the band of his jeans. She patted first the right pocket, then she slid across to the left, letting her hand graze across him. She spread her fingers across his left hip, touching all of his pocket at once. She leaned into him a little heavier.

"Satisfied?" he asked, pushing back on her.

Kate pulled away abruptly. "Not nearly." She said, jerking the door open and heading down the stairs, aware of the slight wobble in her step. Castle did an arousal check, adjusted himself quickly and was right behind her.

"Hey, guys," Castle said cheerily, as if it wasn't at all odd for the two of them to have disappeared upstairs. "Hungry? We were just about to have lunch."

Kate didn't say anything. She was looking for Castle's phone, and avoiding Lanie.

"Little late for lunch, don't you think, Castle?" Lanie asked, eyeing her friends.

"Early dinner then. We haven't eaten yet."

"Too busy stealing Kate's bra, huh?"

"For the record," Javier said looking between the two, "I already think you're sleeping together."

"We're not sleeping together," the two said at the same time.

"I told you," Kate said making a face at Castle.

"Don't gloat. It's unattractive."

"Maybe you should look into soundproofing."

"Maybe _you _should be quieter." Castle cocked his eyebrows at her. Kate glowered at him.

"Yeah, right. You two _aren't _sleeping together." Esposito shook his head. He didn't really think they were sleeping together before; he knew Beckett better than that. But she kicked Josh to the curb, so they could be. They _should_ be.

"It's true, Esposito." Castle said, digging out bread. "You guys eating?"

"Sure," Esposito said. "Let's look at the facts. Beckett stayed here last night."

"Not true."

"She stayed with you," Lanie said. "And you're staying again tonight, right?"

"Probably not," Kate lied.

"You both have wet hair."

"I took a bath." Kate said sitting in the stool beside Esposito. She spotted Castle's phone on the counter and reached across for it.

"In Castle's bathroom?" Lanie asked. She was sitting on the far end of the bar where she could observe both Castle and Kate.

"Yes."

"With Castle?"

"No, I showered, upstairs,' Castle said, buttering bread. Esposito still looked disbelieving. "Go look. Shower's wet."

Castle saw Kate messing with his phone. "It's password protected, you know." Kate looked at him with perfect aplomb. She held his phone to show him she was already in. He attempted to pluck it from her hands, but she leaned back out of his reach.

Kate was scrolling through his pictures. He had a lot of them. Some were of crime scenes—not that it really surprised her. Some were of random buildings with unique structures and architectures he'd stopped to admire. Many were of Alexis, but what surprised her most was that many were of her—sometimes with Alexis or the boys or Lanie, but often of just her: reading in his office, at Remy's, at the Old Haunt, at her desk, when they walked through the park.

Kate actually smiled at the one of her in the bathtub. At least it was a nice picture of her; she looked attractive and at ease. He must have snapped it at just the right moment. She decided to let him have that one. Instead, she deleted a couple of others—one where she had a weird grimace on her face and one where she was leaned over Ryan and Esposito's desk. It was all ass, leg and heels.

"Beckett? Plates? Drinks, if you please."

Kate walked around the bar to pull out everything they needed. She pulled a bag of chips from the cupboard, and asked everyone what they wanted to drink. She opened the refrigerator and pulled out carrot sticks and stuff to drink. She also pulled out a jar of pickles.

She shook the jar in front of Castle's face. She knew Castle hated pickles. So did Martha and Alexis.

"Found those, huh?"

"Dinner last night." She stood beside him, closer than friends do, but not closer than normal.

"Disgusting."

She bumped him lightly with her hip, sure he'd know it as her "thanks."

He smiled at her and made a face. "Just don't open them around me or, you know, breathe near me. Might have a repeat of last night."

At that Lanie, launched into her own interrogation of Castle and how he was feeling, what the doctor said, what meds they'd put him on and all that. Castle filled them in on some of the less embarrassing details and provided full detail on the endoscopy that they'd spent half the day waiting on. His throat was still sore from the endoscopy and he was crampy from everything else.

Halfway through their meal, Lanie turned to Kate. "So just how many has he ruined, Kate? And how?"

"Only two," Castle said.

"Four," Kate challenged him. "Two when I was staying here, one at my place, and the one in the washer."

"Man, talk about holding a grudge. Besides, you told me you didn't put your unmentionables in the hamper when I did the load at your place."

"_I_ didn't."

"And there's nothing saying the one in the washer is ruined."

"It's a hand-wash only, French lace padded underwire from Frederick's. And it's in the washer with my slide-closure, zip front pants and pill-prone shirt. Trust me, Castle. It's ruined."

"Frederick's, huh?"

"So, dead guy in the park? Why'd you ask about her underwear if you already knew?"

"The bras ended up in there accidently, Lanie. I wash my bras and underwear separately—even at home. Not that Castle here had an aversion to letting me wash his."

"You already knew. I told you. And you insisted on helping out around here."

"I didn't ask."

"So her panties are still a mystery?" Lanie asked.

"Can we stop talking about my underwear?"

"I kind of like this topic."

Kate picked the pickle spear off her plate and held it before her mouth, knowing she'd get Castle's attention. She wasn't looking at him, but she knew when she had his eyes. She sucked the juice from it and then crunched it violently. He swallowed hard. Kate smirked and turned to look at him. She leaned forward, jaw lowered and huffed a whiff of warm pickle breath at him.

"So, how 'bout the weather? Warm out today, huh?" Apparently, warm pickle breath inspired lameness.

"Yup. Looks like Memorial Day weekends going to be nice, too. Which reminds me, Castle, you coming to the barbeque, or not?"

"I don't know man. I'll make it if I can."

"Got a better offer, Castle?" Lanie asked.

"No. Mini press tour this weekend. Not sure when I'll be done."

"Castle's introducing the Mayor at the Soldiers' and Sailors' Monument before the sea and air demonstrations. Then he'll actually be putting his color commentary to use for people who want to hear it."

"Hmm?"

"I'm cohosting the commentary for the broadcast on a cable network. You know, like a man on the street thing?"

"Is that why you're not going to the Hamptons?"

"Alexis is going with Ashley to Connecticut—some sort of family reunion slash birthday celebration, so I figured I'd might as well do some of the press stuff Paula's been bugging me about. So now I'm on the Fleet Week media junket."

"What's that mean, really?" Lanie asked.

"Well, that's really all I have going on Monday. I have an interview with a cable network on Saturday, a public book signing and a two-hour shift as a celebrity server at the Village Pourhouse. You should come down. Plus, uniforms drink free, Javi, and Lanie loves a man in uniform, right?"

"True, Baby. We can go right?"

"Free beer? I'm in." Esposito said. "Beckett?"

"Watch Castle do actual work? Sure."

"Funny. I do 'actual work' all the time. Anyway, Sunday, I have two book signings, one public, one private…for military members. Then, Sunday night, I have the Fleet Week Gala at the Intrepid Museum. That's not strictly work related, but it's one of those things."

_Not strictly work-related?_ Kate wondered. He'd left that bit about the gala out before. Kate's stomach constricted when she realized he probably wouldn't be going alone. She hung her head, realizing she hardly had room to impeach Castle. In her self-censure, guilt was most prominent, but there was also envy. The thought of some busty, faceless woman on his arm made her feel nauseous, but she pushed it away. She was here, with him, making plans for the weekend.

"Sounds rough. I'd be happy to trade you one scalpel, rib cutters and a dead body for one gala."

"I'd take it. Fleet Week Gala's stuffy—not at all like what we have planned for the Jamboree."

_And plans for beyond the weekend. _Kate smiled to herself, as Castle spoke about the impending event, sharing details that she was sure only Lanie could appreciate. She and Esposito took up a side conversation about the Yankees and the 12th's upcoming softball tournament.

As much as she'd enjoyed spending time with their friends, Kate was glad when they left. Neither of them had slept well the night before. Somehow, sitting in the hospital had exhausted them more than days on end with little sleep when working a case at the precinct. Castle was still recovering, of course, but Kate was dealing new, strong emotions and decisions gone wrong. They both headed off to bed, Castle to his room, Kate to the guest room.

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><p><strong>So, whatchya think? A few smiles, I hope? You've shared 475 reviews thus far, and I love you all for each and every one of them! Keep 'em coming! (I do try to respond to each one…so if I missed one in the past, my apologies!)<strong>

**Now, let's get down to some other business! All these finale fics and I haven't read either of the two that keep plaguing me. The first is in my profile, but also below:**

**1. The crew at Kate's funeral (fake or not) and everyone telling Castle how sorry they are for his loss. No one really even knowing Josh or that he's the boyfriend. Josh's realization that he wasn't part of her life at all.**

**2. Kate's been shot, people! Does no one wonder if it ever crosses her mind that she may never be able to have Castle babies?**

**I would love to read either of these, but, of course, I don't want to take my attention away from FTR. One-shots would be lovely! I need resolution! Any takers? Please?**


	36. Ch 36  Chi

**Yay! Another chapter. Thanks to all who are following along! **

**Also, because I haven't said so in a while, characters are not mine…and the standard yada yada. Mistakes are mine, and I apologize for those. I hate when I read back through and realize it says "thing" when it should say "think" – but unless it's a bigger mistake, I typically don't find it worth the hassle to re-upload or otherwise edit. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 36 – Chi<p>

Castle left earlier than usual to make it across town. Getting away from his mother and daughter's hovering had _nothing_ to do with his early departure. They were worse than Kate! Or maybe he only thought that because he got Beckett in his bathtub out of the earlier deal. This morning, he was making a special trip to Sheryl's bakery to fulfill his promise and to get Beckett a little something to thank her for the titillating, awe-inspiring imagery. He genuinely wanted to do something special for Kate; it was the best way he could think of to thank her for staying with him at the hospital and then at the loft without making too big a deal about it.

Though it wasn't out of the realm of possibility, Castle hadn't expected to run into Kate's father. So, when Jim Beckett saw him there, shook his hand and insisted Rick join him for breakfast, Castle didn't put up much of a fight. Castle hadn't spent much time with Kate's father, but he liked him and he wasn't about to miss out on an opportunity to gain more insight into the lovely Katherine Beckett—especially when the insights were almost certainly going to be of a more personal, childhood-come-back-to-haunt-you nature.

They walked down the street to a quintessential little 24-hour diner with the old-timey vinyl-covered stools in a row along the Formica counter. They chose to sit there, where they were assured a bottomless cup of coffee from the lone waitress and chief cashier. From where they sat, they could watch the cook prepare their meals. Rick's mouth watered. If he had to choose between bacon and whipped cream, he wasn't sure which would win.

They made small talk for a while. Castle learned a few new things about Kate—one of which he was going to put to immediate use. He even asked Jim's opinion and, he was pretty sure, earned himself a co-conspirator. Jim inquired about Castle's favorite topic, Alexis. He asked about her prom and how things were going with Ashley. Rick was surprised he remembered Ashley and so many other details having met them only once. Castle filled him in, showed him a picture of the two of them from prom, and one of Kate and Alexis that he knew Jim would appreciate.

"She's beautiful," Jim said.

"Yes, she is." Looking at Castle and a father himself, Jim knew there was no way Castle was thinking of his red-headed daughter when he said this.

"It's good, you know? How she lets you in." Rick wasn't sure which 'she' Jim was referring to. He didn't answer. They sat there a while longer, each eating, thinking about their girls.

"I screwed up, not telling Kate about Sheryl sooner. And, the way she found out—there was no easing her into it. Tell me, Rick, you know her better than anyone—"

"I very much doubt—" Castle was being modest, but he didn't want to appear fanfaronade in front of Kate's father.

"I don't. Is she okay? She won't talk to me about it, and she won't tell me about her boyfriend. I keep alluding to him, but I get nothing. She's not rude; she's not telling me to mind my own business. She's just not talking to me—about that anyway. Everything else is normal…well, our kind of normal."

"So you think she's trying to pretend nothing's changed?"

"Isn't she?"

"Ugff."

"Rick, if she's said anything to you…"

"If she had, I wouldn't betray her confidence."

"And I respect that. More than you know, but…has she? Said anything?"

"No."

"So, you can tell me what you think."

Castle paused, thinking. "Well, I don't think she's pretending. It's just…not something she'd do about something like this. Avoid? Hell yes."

"I've tried talking to her. I'd like her to get to know Sheryl better—I don't want to push—but you know…even though she's an adult, if she and Sheryl…"

"Kate wouldn't ask you to change anything about your relationship, especially seeing you happy. That would be bad. You know the guilt would eat at her. I think she just needs time to…adjust. Or accept."

"We used to be more like you and Alexis, freer with…everything, but now there are some things we just don't talk about."

"There are some things I don't want to know about—"

"Same."

"But I dread that day."

"I don't want you to think were not close, or that I don't know my own daughter. It's just a different closeness now. And, even though we don't talk about some things, Katie and I are closer than we were before."

"She's told me."

"I know. Do you think she's told the boyfriend?"

"No."

"Is he good to her?"

"I think he wants to be."

"But she won't let him?"

Castle shrugged.

"She lets you."

"Sometimes."

Castle insisted on paying this time since Jim picked up the tab at Veselka's. Jim let him and they walked back to the bakery, where Castle picked up Kate's coffee and a glazed pecan monkey bread concoction that Jim heartily recommended.

* * *

><p>"Hmm. Coffee's different, Castle." It was Kate's only comment after accepting the cup from Castle. She looked him over, assessing whether or not he was really well enough to be there. He'd stayed away two full days, in part on Martha and Alexis' insistence, and in part because he was exhausted and run down. He'd texted Beckett earlier in the morning to say he was coming and assure her he was fine, but she needed to see for herself that he didn't look strained or stressed.<p>

"Yes, yes it is. Went to Cups-N-Cakes this morning." Kate gave him a look, wondering why it was vaguely familiar and why he would change it up. "Sheryl's bakery?"

"Oh," Kate said, frowning. "Not as good."

"No, the coffee's not, but try the pecan roll. It'll be much better."

Kate looked at him hesitantly. "You tried one?" _Castle wondered if that was yet another restriction on his diet plan?_

"No, but trust me. The place smelled sinfully delicious. Nice place."

Castle went on about all the different kinds of pies and pastries and cakes they made. Kate ignored him. She could really care less about Sheryl's bakery. Kate had spoken to her dad only once since he returned from Atlanta. He spent most of the call talking about Sheryl's kids and grandkids and how great they all were and how much fun he had watching the little ones at the Home Depot Aquarium. He assured her she'd really like them. He also invited her to dinner to get to know Sheryl a little better, but Kate declined, citing work.

"Your dad was there," Castle threw in. "He says hi."

Kate was in her own little world, mindlessly looking over the paperwork on her desk. She'd had a strange few days. When Alexis arrived home Sunday morning, she'd found Kate and Rick asleep together on the couch. That wasn't a first, but Alexis had never found them curled around one another because it hadn't happened—at least not quite like that. After sleeping the afternoon away, they'd awoken just as the night sky was settling in around the loft. They opted for movies.

"Actually, your father was abducted by alien body snatchers from the evil Mondork Empire. They've taken him to the Interstellar Space Command to impregnate the Mondork Chieftain."

Kate remembered most of _Revolutions_. She'd been sitting with her legs tucked under her, curled into the corner of the couch and cuddling a large pillow. Castle had propped a sofa pillow against her knees while they watched the last movie in the _Matrix _trilogy. They had fallen asleep like that. At some point, Kate must have stretched out. She ended up on her side, back to the couch, nestled in the crook of Castle's arm with her own arm stretched across his chest.

"Your space cadet half-siblings will be immune to Earth's atmosphere and will journey from a galaxy far, far away to launch an attack on the human race and take over the world."

Kate hadn't been aware of the position they were in, or even that Alexis was home, until the girl flopped on them. She'd landed more on Rick than Kate, but Kate had lifted her arm to form a protective cocoon over Rick as soon as she felt the weighty disruption. Rick grunted and Alexis ended up with an elbow in the chest and slid unceremoniously off the angle of Kate's arm, landing on the floor. Kate sat up, exclaiming "Alexis!" and immediately asked, "Rick, are you okay?" He'd assured her was fine, just surprised, while Alexis sat on the floor, rubbing her chest, staring at them in confusion. Kate smiled internally. The look on Alexis' face was almost worth being caught in Rick's arms.

"I had breakfast with your dad's replacement."

Castle had watched Kate the entire time for any hint that she was paying even the slightest bit of attention. She wasn't. She even broke for a sip of coffee and tilted her head back without lifting her eyes from the papers in front of her. Castle looked her over and decided that now was not the best time to ask. Instead, he found his phone, updated Twitter with a recommendation for Cups-N-Cakes and started in on Angry Birds.

Kate was still thinking about Alexis and how things had subtly shifted between them. She had moved to a sitting position and helped Alexis off the floor. She ended up sitting on the couch with Castle's legs behind her and Alexis half on her lap, while the girl hugged her.

"_You're here."_

Kate remembered wondering what she meant.

"_I just wasn't sure after Dad…" _

"_Ah, well, I guess it not _always_ your father's fault." _

She'd wanted to change the subject.

"_How were the rollercoasters?"_

"_Ashley tried to ease me into it. I did two smaller non-twisty, right-side-up ones. But then he took me on some spinny ride— we ended up walking around, playing games because I got sick."_

"_You're not the only one."_

"_Hey! You promised you wouldn't tell her!"_

"_I promised I wouldn't _call _her."_

"_What? You got sick? And you didn't call me?" _Alexis had turned to look at Kate then._ "You knew he wasn't feeling well and you didn't tell me?"_

"_I didn't want to ruin your trip until we knew how serious it was and…I promised your dad."_

"_How bad was it?"_

"_Not bad."_

"_Castle! Alexis…" _She'd paused to make eye contact with her._ "He spent some time in the hospital."_

"_My dad was in the hospital and you didn't call me? Jesus, Kate! What if it had been something serious?"_

"_Alexis!" _Castle squawked.

She had nudged Alexis, feeling the sentiment was deserved and honest, but she'd also wanted to lighten the mood.

"_So now the truth comes out…don't trust me to take care of your dad, huh?" _

She had said it with an uneven smile and a hesitant laugh, very much concerned with the answer. They were close and she knew, realistically, that Alexis trusted her, but she also knew the girl felt responsible for her dad. She needed to know that Kate did, too, and that she could depend on her to be there.

Kate recalled the relief she felt when Alexis relaxed and leaned into her. _"No, it's not that…we've just never had anyone else to take care of him before."_

"_I can take care of myself you know."_

They ignored him.

"_I promise, Lex. I had a handle on it. If it had been serious, I'd have called you. I'd have sent Kev and Javi to come get you and race you back. Your dad was just a little sick and dehydrated. He has gastritis, but luckily, no ulcers."_

"_Gastritis?"_

"_Yeah. So you have full permission to tell him what he can and cannot eat for the next two months." _

Kate had gotten up and grabbed the discharge papers from her purse. She went over them with Alexis and then they used the search function on Castle's new TV to get more detail and tease Castle with all the things he couldn't eat.

* * *

><p>Kate didn't come out of her reflective trance until her phone rang.<p>

"Beckett," Kate answered.

"Hey Katie!"

"Hi Dad. What's up?"

"Has Rick made it back yet?"

"Back?"

"From breakfast?"

"Breakfast?"

"Yeah."

Kate put her hand over her phone.

"Castle!" she hissed, loud enough to get Esposito and Ryan's attention. "Did you have breakfast with my father?"

"Um…yes?"

"You can't have breakfast with my father!" she hissed again.

She heard Ryan snicker and shot a glare in his direction.

"Katie," she heard in her ear, "Of course he can. It's a free country."

"Why not?" Castle asked.

"You know 'why not'."

"Yeah, why not?" her dad asked.

"Ughh! Daa_ad_!"

"So? Can I talk to him?" her father asked.

"Uh, no."

"Katie."

"You could give me his number."

"Pass."

"I'm in town you know. I could just stop by. Tell everyone how you cried when we watched _Toy Story_."

"Are you blackmailing me?"

"Are you going to let me talk to Rick?"

"Here." Kate said, holding out the phone to Castle. "It's for you. Apparently, my own father doesn't want to talk to me."

Castle smirked at her childish behavior.

"Hey, Jim."

"You didn't tell her we had breakfast?"

"I did. Even told her about the body snatchers and evil half-siblings, but she has an impressive and annoying ability to tune me out."

Jim was still mulling over his explanation when he heard Katie pipe up. "It's not hard, Castle."

"I see you've got her attention now."

"Yes. Thank you for that."

"What can I do for you?"

"Well, mostly I was wondering if you've asked her yet, but now, I kind of just want to mess with her."

"Well, no, I haven't, but I will. And I'm definitely game for the latter."

"I have some gear you guys can borrow—whether she says yes or not. I can bring it by if you like."

"I appreciate the offer, but let's wait and see."

"She still intent on getting her phone back?"

"Absolutely." Castle got up and walked to the break room. Kate followed.

"Well, I hope this isn't too painful for you."

"Oh, it will be, but I can take it."

Jim chuckled. There was a slight lull in the conversation.

"You know I saw the lilacs at Johanna's grave. Katie told me what you did for her."

"It was nothing."

"It was something. Johanna would have loved them."

"I'm glad."

"You mentioned speakers for the benefit. Do you have anyone lined up yet?"

"I've run it by a few people, but nothing solid. It would be great if at least one of the speakers actually knew her. We checked with her old firm. They're still debating."

"One of her old friends, a colleague where she taught is now the chair of the department. He might be a good choice."

"Do you know his name?"

"Charles Blaisdell. I could talk to him if you like. I still see him around from time to time."

Castle walked into the rest room, enjoying this opportunity to get Kate's dander up. That it was her father's doing made it all the more enjoyable for him.

Kate debated following Castle into the men's room, but decided instead to seek out Lanie. _She'd sympathize, right?_ Besides, she needed Lanie's advice. She'd spent the last few days considering the weekend. She kept replaying Josh's messages over in her head, wondering for the millionth time how he could be so insistent that they'd work it out?

She needed input. Madison was completely out of the question. _She'd probably jump for joy, dump Todd and ask if Josh liked blondes._ Lanie wasn't exactly impartial, but at least she was there—and she already knew what had happened between the two of them. If it weren't for Lanie, Josh's messages would have come as more of a shock, and there's a chance Castle would have overheard them.

In the morgue, Lanie was busy working a body. Contrary to what most people believe, the NYPD medical examiners didn't just determine the causes of death related to homicide. They were city coroners, and by law, any suspicious death or death not in the presence of an attending physician required a cause of death determination for the death certificate. It was easy for the lab to get backlogged, especially with only two MEs on staff at the 12th.

Today, Lanie's body was a very obese woman.

"Whatchya got, Lanie?"

"Asian female, 45. Obstructive sleep apnea. You know? This right here? You ever let me get like that…"

"You're not your mom, Lanie. You know better. You're hot and you know it."

It was part of the reason Lanie and her mother didn't get along. Her mother was large, had diabetes and breathing problems, but she wouldn't take Lanie's advice. Instead, she was disapproving and condescending, even when Lanie was clearly successful and talented. Lanie worked her way through med school, but her mother refused to acknowledge her accomplishments. Now, it seemed whenever she saw her mother, she was accused of being snooty and too good for her own. Over the years, Lanie had come to agree.

"Yeah. That's the COD though. Being fat. All that extra weight on her neck. 'Course the PC version goes on the death certificate so everyone can feel good about themselves." Lanie paused. "Think I'll hit the gym tonight. Wanna come sweat with me?"

"Can't. I have plans with Alexis."

"Where is your shadow, anyway?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Just tell me Javi's not involved and I'll be happy."

"Well, you can breathe easy."

"And you?"

"Still can't get ahold of Josh. When he was in Haiti, he had phone service and Internet. Same in Senegal. Not Japan, but that was different."

"I don't see what the problem is."

"Maybe that he somehow managed to send flowers even though he's supposed to be on the other side of the continent?"

"I saw those. Same as the ones from Friday. He's not very original. You know you coulda passed 'em to Javi for me."

"Yes, but Jenny can think they're from Kev—you'd know they weren't from Javi. Still, how can he send flowers, yet be unable to take my call?"

"You're a detective, Kate. I'm sure you can figure it out. But I think it's a waste of time. You broke up with him. You're free to move on."

"Not if he thinks we're still together. There are just too many ways for that to come back and bite me in the behind."

"Girl, you've already screwed this up six ways from Sunday."

"Don't sugarcoat it."

"I'm jus' sayin'…if I didn't love ya, I'd be laughing my ass off. It's like watching Rachel and Ross on _Friends_." Lanie shook her head. Then she pointed at Kate with a collection tube in her hand. "I'm tellin' ya, you got some kinda karma. The _bad_ kind of karma. Time to call in the feng shui experts. Get your Chi checked out."

"I think you're mixing genres or ideologies or whatever those fall under."

"Excuse me, Miss Fancy Pants. Point is, you could have taken care of this a long time ago, but you didn't. You almost deserve it."

Kate mumbled something that sounded like "yeah-um" as she turned from Lanie. She didn't run out, so that was saying something, but she didn't say anything intelligible either. She just walked up to the morgue's one small high window and looked up and out at nothing.

Lanie couldn't see Kate's face, but she saw her hands go up to cup her neck. Lanie often spoke before thinking, but that wasn't really the case here. She had been wondering what kind of reaction she would get out of Kate. She didn't expect Kate to take it to heart or to buy into the idea so readily.

Lanie walked up to Kate. "Come on, Girl…you know I don't really believe that. And you shouldn't either." She steered her into a chair where they could sit facing one another. "It would be cruel, what I said, but I said 'almost.' If you were anyone else, Kate. I don't think for a moment that you deserve even a moment's more heartache."

"You're right, though. You've been right. And I hate you a little bit for it." Lanie nickered, and squeezed her friend's knee.

Kate's lip quivered and she put her head down to hide her reaction from Lanie. "I brought it on myself. Dragging things on with Josh. Not forgiving Castle." Kate choked out the next part, her eyes pitiable. "God, Lanie, I even made him sick. How could I do that to him?"

Castle chose that moment to sweep in with the flourish worthy of Martha Rodger's red carpet moment. The two looked up at him. Lanie was shooting daggers at him for his inopportune timing, but he barely registered her presence. His only concern was Kate, whose eyes were sad and distressed even through the shock of him barging in.

Castle could hear Jim still talking in his ear while he and Kate stared at one another a long moment. He immediately understood that this was about Josh. _Why else would she be so upset and in need of a little Lanie time?_ Castle's expression softened in empathy. He had intended to hand the phone off to Kate, but he could tell she wouldn't want to talk now.

"Uh, your dad?" Lanie's head shot from Castle to Kate and back. "Wants to know if he can take you to lunch?"

He watched Kate frown a little. He covered the phone with his other hand and whispered "Just you two?" Kate's head didn't really move, but Castle sensed when she acquiesced.

"Noon?" Castle asked into the phone, while asking Kate simultaneously. She nodded.

Castle gave Kate a reassuring smile and then turned to walk outm telling Jim that she couldn't talk now because she was helping Lanie with an autopsy.

"He talks to your dad now?"

Kate's eyes were still glassy with emotion, but her quizzical smile completely transformed her expression to one of amused perplexity.

"They had breakfast."

* * *

><p><strong>Review please? Makes my day a little brighter! Ok, A LOT brighter! :o) <strong>


	37. Ch 37 When, not if

**Goodness! I am so very sorry for the long time since my last update! It's been a busy time around here with family stuff and work: 3 birthdays, 2 family reunions, 2 anniversaries (18 years for my in-laws and 8 years of wedded bliss for my hubby and me!). Also had a 3-day off-site sales meeting…and those things always manage to wear me out in a way that normal work days don't. Other than that, I have RFPs up the wazoo this month and we're supposed to go camping this Thurs-Sun, though I may end up working! Two more birthdays this week—Mom-in-law and my little guy turns 4 on Friday! He's so excited!**

**So…my life in a nutshell. Hope this long chapter makes up for it. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 37 – When, not if<p>

Kate was approaching the stack of paperwork on her desk with such focus that Castle was certain its impetus was distraction than more than deadline. He had a better distraction for her, but he found himself hesitant. He knew he'd be bound over to eagerness and excitement if she said yes, but, if she said, no…well, it wasn't heartbreak or certain doom, but he'd be fending off crotchetiness for the next few days.

For the last forty minutes, Kate had been aware of his eyes on her, but it was a different kind of scrutiny. He was fidgeting, so she knew something was up. She was wondering what he'd done.

"What, Castle?" Kate didn't bother looking up from her paperwork.

"Question."

Beckett rolled her eyes, but tempered her sigh by looking his way. She lowered her chin and was giving him that 'let's get this over with' look. Castle decided it was best just to plunge forward.

"Would you like to go camping?"

"Camping, Castle?" Beckett gasped incredulously. _Not at all what I was expecting_. Beckett stood abruptly, shooting her chair back a bit toward Karpowski's desk.

"Do I look like the kind of girl who goes _camping_?" Kate asked as she flashed her hand down her chest, past her small waist and lower before stopping again in front of her chest.

Castle's eyes followed her hand, looking her down and up. He took her question and hand waving as an invitation to freely check out the finest specimen of the female species he'd ever encountered.

Kate was always well-dressed, and today was no exception. She wore a stylish bright white blouse, collared and unbuttoned to reveal a black lace camisole. Shiny black pearl-like buttons rode the center of her shirt and matched the three buttons on the French cuff covering each of her thin wrists. This was tucked into black, modern trousers which, sadly, hid most of her fabulous boots. These were the shiny ones, pointed toe, no buckle—so he knew they zipped to mid–calf.

Kate could stand to be a little less covered in Castle's opinion, but she definitely put quality over quantity, and knew, for the most part, what looked good on her—even if she was a little conservative at times. Still, Kate's reaction also amused him. Maybe it wouldn't have if he weren't sitting there wearing a Del Sienna shirt and Louis Vuitton shoes. But he could Eddie Bauer it up to camping, and he knew Kate could to—_if _she wanted to.

Immediately, Kate regretted her action. Not only was Castle now smirking and ogling her, she managed to engage Ryan and Esposito. Not bothering to hide their own smirks or look away, they settled back into their chairs to watch the exchange. _Did they know what Castle was planning?_

Unwilling to give them the satisfaction of yet another show, Kate settled back into her chair, returning to her keyboard and her notes from the last case. "Really, Castle?" she says, in a lower voice. "What makes you think I'd want to go camping?"

"It's just, you haven't been on vacation since—well, ever. I mean, Montgomery forced you to take a couple days at Christmas, but—"

"Since when does _camping_ equate to vacation?" she interrupted.

"Well, it would be a favor to me, actually. Ashley's parents wanted to go camping with us. That somehow turned into Ashley, his parents and four other teenagers. But, Elizabeth broke her ankle jet skiing this past weekend, so they're not going. Alexis still really wants to go. I'm stuck either letting down six teenagers, going it alone or finding someone else to help chaperone."

"Why don't you ask Ryan and Esposito? Esposito camps."

"Much as I'd love to see Ryan camping in his three-piece suit, half these teens are girls. Kinda defeats the purpose of having a chaperone if I take along more men."

"They don't need a chaperone, Castle. They're 17, 18 years old."

"They're hormonal."

"They're normal, and you being there or not being there isn't going to change anything. I went camping when I was that age without my parents."

"Your dad let you go camping with boys by yourself?"

"What daddy didn't know, didn't hurt."

"Trust me. That's not true. And even if it were, there are other parents involved _besides me_, and adult supervision was promised when the invitations were extended."

"Good thing Ashley's parents were committed. Whatever will you do?" Beckett asked, letting her eyes go big.

"I'd normally ask Steph and Magi, but she's seven months pregnant."

"When do I get to meet Karamagi and Steph anyway?" The three had ganged up on Castle about his last "lackluster" interview on Castle's—or rather Rick Roger's—Facebook page, but she'd never met either his friend or cousin.

"Couple weeks. Stop changing the subject."

"There is no subject and, therefore, no need to predicate."

"Clever." Castle thought a moment. "Go."

"Hmm?"

"It has no subject or predicate and is, therefore, the perfect answer."

"I like that answer. Why don't you _go_ away?"

"Aww, come on Beckett. You know you want to," he says watching her from the corner of his eye. She closed her eyes for a moment and he knew she was willing herself to relax. She'd pretend he hadn't spoken so that she could further pretend this wasn't happening—and that she didn't have to respond.

But Castle, waited and watched. He saw the moment her neck muscles relax and her shoulders slackened to their normal width. He knew he shouldn't, that it might push her too far, but he couldn't resist the urge to press her buttons just a little more.

"You used to love camping," he stated knowingly, watching her from the corner of his eye, while he played with his coffee cup.

Kate breath hitched and she slowly lowered her head. It wasn't that she didn't love camping. It was true. She used to love it. _Used to. _When her mom was around. It was another one of those things that they didn't do after she was gone. She had been in college at that point, and they were planning a cruise—something a little bigger and better—before her mother was killed.

They were going to go on her spring break. So, who knew? Maybe they would have never gone camping as a family again anyway, but she'd never know. She'd never have the chance to stay up late and sit across from her parents while listening to the fire crackle, mesmerized by the flames. Her mother would never again be the first to say, it was late, or "That's it for me," before heading off to bed.

Castle didn't need to see her face to know where her thoughts had taken her. The way her father spoke, he thought it would be good memories for Kate. Obviously, he had been wrong.

"No, Castle." Kate's whispered her answer quietly, but firmly. She turned back to her computer. "And I don't appreciate you going behind my back to ask my father personal things about me."

"I didn't…" _Just shut up, Castle. Don't drag it out!_ "I'm sorry, Kate. Forget I mentioned it."

Castle couldn't see, but it was then that her eyes filled with tears. _Why did he have to be so damn understanding?_

Castle thought of leaving then, but he didn't want her to think he was sulking, angry or intentionally injurious. Plus, he was hoping that if he stuck around, he could somehow indicate to Kate that running into her father was pure happenstance—not some plot on his part to delve into her past. No, he'd learned his lesson the hard way.

* * *

><p>Jim Beckett arrived to the 12th precinct just a little early. He walked past a man in a jumpsuit wearing handcuffs sitting outside one of the rooms. His arms were thick like tree branches. It gave him the willies to think of his little girl trying to take down people like him. Actually, he didn't care who it was—big, small, man, woman, quick, slow, cunning or dumber than a doorknob—he'd much prefer his Katie remained safe.<p>

He was actually pleased when she became a detective. To him, it seemed safer than being the feet on the street. Plus, he'd always thought she was cut out for something more than responding to domestic disturbances and writing citations. Kate had always been brainy and attentive, so he knew she'd be good at the thinking side of things, and after all she'd been through, he knew no one could be more empathetic. He wasn't surprised that she'd quickly become one of New York's best detectives.

Katie was fair, dedicated, hard-working and just—all qualities that were incredibly reminiscent of Johanna. But they were different. Johanna had always been determined to see the best in people and to fight for the little guy; Katie was guarded and hard to win over. She'd learned to be suspicious, that people could be cruel and that it was hard to recover. For her, loving someone meant pain was inevitable. He'd reinforced that belief once or twice, but he and Johanna had shown her the other side of love, too.

Jim stopped for a moment to look around. It had been a while and things were not set up the same way they had been the last time he'd been at the precinct. It only took him a moment to spot Castle, though. The writer sat facing him, but his eyes were trained on the woman next to him. Katie didn't even seem to notice. Jim shook his head. _Boy's got it bad._

He walked closer, catching Castle's attention.

"Rick," Jim said, extending his hand. "Long time no see." Jim cocked his head toward Katie, clearly wondering if Castle had asked his daughter about camping yet.

Castle quickly shook his head "no" while shaking Jim's hand. Kate turned in time to see them shaking hands, but missed the exchange.

Kate stood up to embrace her father. "Hey, Dad."

She seemed a little heavier and stayed a little longer than usual, so when she pulled back, Jim pulled her to his side and kissed her temple.

"Missed you," he whispered to her.

"Yeah, me too."

"You ready for lunch?"

"Mr. Beckett!" Jim turned to find Detective Ryan behind him.

"Kevin!" Jim said, patting the detective on the shoulder. "I hear congratulations are in order."

"Yes, sir. Making the leap."

"Proud of you." Jim nudged him playfully. "Katie showed me some pictures. How'd you manage to snag such a looker?"

The captain walked up beside them in time to hear Jim's comment. "We've been wondering the same thing. We offered Jenny a psych exam, but she wouldn't take it." The captain clasped Jim's hand in his own. "Jim, how are you?"

"Great. You?"

"Doing well."

"And Evelyn and the girls?"

"Just celebrated our 30th, and the girls? Well, they're teenagers."

Jim shuddered. "I remember." Kate backhanded his chest.

"Me, too," Castle said. He, too, shuddered, thinking of Alexis kissing Ashley the night before.

"I've met you're daughter," Jim said. "She's an angel. You can complain when she comes home with a—"

"Dad!" Kate exclaimed, tinting with embarrassment. "I think we're done here."

"Story for another time?" Rick asked, as the others laughed at an uncomfortable Beckett.

Jim made this promise and chatted a bit with the captain, Castle and the boys while Kate finished up.

"Ready?" she asked. Jim held out his arm to her and they started to walk away.

"You're not coming with us?" Jim questioned, when Castle didn't move to join them. He was still sitting on the edge of Kate's desk, checking his phone.

"Me? No. No, no. I have an appointment downtown. I get to spend the afternoon having talking points drilled into my head. Besides, I know how important some daddy-daughter time is."

"Oh, well, it was good to see you again, Rick. Glad I ran into you this morning." Kate's eyes widened. She turned to her father and asked him to give her a sec.

In a moment, she was standing beside Castle, looking down at him while he remained seated on her desk. She stood so close she could feel his thigh against her own. Kate stared at him, trying to assess why he didn't just come out and tell her.

To Jim, it looked like an intimate conversation, but he was less used to seeing the two of them together. To everyone else, it was standard Beckett-Castle.

"You know, Castle, you could have told me."

Castle shrugged. "You said you trusted me." He didn't look sad or accusatory. "Me?" he mused, "I'm still waiting for you to figure out what that really means." He wasn't being mean, just genuine. "Also, Beckett…I'm disappointed." Kate frowned.

Castle grinned slyly. "I left you wide open for a 'drill, baby, drill' and you didn't take it."

Kate smirked. "I'd hate to steal your line, Castle." She turned to walk away.

_Ooh, ouch._ Castle almost didn't realize she'd sauntered off. "Hey!" he called after her. "Are you still doing movie night with Alexis?"

"I'll be there."

* * *

><p>It was a nice day out, so they decided on a café with an outdoor patio. They sat making small talk for a bit, but Kate was distracted by her thoughts. She was thinking about what Castle said, but she didn't understand it. She <em>did<em> trust him. Thinking he'd done something that, in her mind, would be so typically Castle didn't mean she didn't trust him. _Did it?_

Kate wasn't even really mad at the thought of Castle talking to her father. S_o, why did I even accuse him of going behind my back? _Kate wrestled with this question. Castle was her friend and partner. Her dad knew her other friends and partners. Plus, the man had written close to three novels based on her. She reasoned it made sense for them to meet and know one another. The truth was she should have introduced them a long time ago.

_But Castle was never going to be just a friend_. And she didn't introduce boyfriends to her father. He hadn't met anyone since Will. She didn't want her father seeing into the superficial, knowing that, though they might have the label, they were essentially just steady sex mates. But she wasn't dating Castle, their relationship definitely wasn't just sex and she found she _wanted_ her dad to know him—and like him.

And it was clear that James Beckett not only approved, but thought his daughter was out her mind for not dating the man who 'is so clearly head over heels' for her. That was his assessment on the phone when they spoke after Mother's Day—and they'd only met once at that point! Now they'd met again and had breakfast _without her_, and there was no doubt in her mind that she'd been the primary topic of conversation.

"You wanna talk about whatever's bugging you?"

"Hmm? Nothing's bugging me."

"Katie. I'm your father. Something's troubling you. Is it me?"

_You mean you and you being gone and you having a girlfriend?_ "No, of course not."

"'Cause if it's about Sheryl—"

"It's not. It's nothing. I promise."

_It's not about Royce. It's not about Mom or losing her ring or breaking down. It's not about Josh. It's not about being confused. It's not about Castle asking me to go camping. It's not about wanting to and saying no. It's not about really wishing Mom were here right now. It's not about anything._

Kate picked at her food. "I'm happy for you, Dad. Truly. How is Sheryl anyway?"

"Good. She's been keeping busy at the bakery. We were hoping you could have dinner with us sometime soon. It'd be great if you two could get to know one another better."

"I'd like to, Dad." _Sometime._

"Are you free on Sunday?"

"Um, well…Esposito and I—we're on call."

"But you could come, if nothing happens?"

"Well, I can't leave the city."

"We could have dinner here though, at Sheryl's?" Jim watched his daughter's face scrunch slightly. "Or at a restaurant? I'm sure you know some good places. You could bring your boyfriend."

Kate's head shot up. "I don't _have_ a boyfriend." _Not anymore._

"That's funny, because Rick seems to think you do."

"Well, I don't."

"Then why does Rick think you do? That seems…" _Rather cruel, _he thought to himself—though he wasn't going to tell that to his daughter.

"Rick doesn't know as much as he thinks he does. And my relationships are none of _his_ business."

Jim frowned at his daughter. "Are you mad at him? What did he do to you?"

"No, I'm not mad at him! I just—" _I'm having a hard time figuring out how there's not a part of my life I can discuss without it being somehow related to Rick._

Kate sighed. "There was someone. He's a doctor. We dated for a few months, but he was gone a lot. He just left again for another Doctors Without Borders mission. He's a good guy. But he's not…We never saw each other. I mean, he just left on Friday, but I still only saw him I think three times this past month. I told him we were through, but apparently he didn't get the message. He left for Zimbabwe thinking we're going to work things out, so my relationship status is in limbo."

"I'm sorry, Katie."

"Don't be. He was a little arrogant. Total mama's boy—and you'd have thought he was too pretty."

"You could always bring Rick. I like him."

Kate shook her head, but she wore a half smile. _Me, too._

"How about it, Katie? Double date with your old man?"

"Rick has a date, Dad. But if you can get over your little man crush and settle for your dear daughter, I think we can manage dinner on Sunday."

"Ooh,_ I_ have the crush?" Jim teased, enjoying watching his daughter's cheeks go pink.

"You about done?" Kate asked. "I have to get back to work."

* * *

><p>Castle opened the door to a pure vision in white. With the warm lights from the hall backlighting her, it reminded Castle of the "angel light" in that show Alexis used to like with Roma Downey. Kate's hair fell loose around her shoulders, looking even darker against the white tank she wore. <em>Or was it a dress?<em> Castle wondered as his eyes traveled down and he realized Kate Beckett was standing before him in a long white, ruffled skirt.

Kate's feet were nearly bare, with red toes poking out of strappy flat sandals. His eyes lingered there. Her feet were so slender. Perfect ankles. Long toes. They wiggled, and he noticed the toe ring on the second toe of her right foot. Longer second toes. Good, God! He knew what that meant! And it was true. _God, it was so true!_

He shut the door.

Kate's brow curled in confusion. She wasn't sure what just happened. She adjusted the strap over her shoulder and raised her hand to knock again, but the door reopened.

"Kate, Dear. Come in." Martha stepped back to allow Kate room. "I swear. Sometimes I don't know what's wrong with that boy."

Kate had no idea what to say to that, so she just accepted Martha's hug.

Martha walked off toward the dining room where Alexis was busy studying. She tapped her shoulder and Alexis removed her ear buds. "Alexis, where's your father? I don't suppose he wants me manning dinner."

"He just checked it. Walked by mumbling something about being 'too damn old to develop a foot fetish'—so, I'm guessing Kate's here?"

Kate laughed behind her. "She is." She noticed they both dropped their eyes to her bare feet. Kate stood there awkwardly for a moment while the two inspected her.

"They're just feet—the same feet you've _all_ seen before."

"And a skirt," Alexis said.

"Which you've also both seen before—more than once." Kate was fiercely blushing now.

"You look beautiful, Darling, as always, but...you do look different. Glowing, or…do you tan?"

Kate shook her head. "No. I just finally dug out my summer clothes…which I suppose you haven't seen, but really…nothing special."

She'd gone home ready to get out of her work clothes. She'd needed something light and fun to help pull her out of her mood. The skirt fit the bill. She'd paired it with a white tank and a white summer scarf with pastel, barely noticeable butterflies. She hadn't given the outfit a second thought. Well…_maybe_ she thought Castle would notice it. She certainly didn't expect him to slam the door in her face. She could honestly say she'd never gotten that reaction before.

Kate dropped her laptop into the chair at the end of the table and as she took the chair across from Alexis. "How's the studying going?"

"Good. Just listening to my history teacher's review. I had two exams today, so I only have three left. Two tomorrow, one on Friday."

"You sure you have time for this?"

"Are you kidding? I can use the break. Plus…the only hard one I have left is Chem. History and English will be easy. She's giving us our first Blue Book exam, though."

"You know, most teenagers don't get excited about the prospect of a Blue Book."

Alexis shrugged and smiled. "So, what's with the laptop?"

Kate smiled back at her. "I'll show you later. I think you'll like it."

Castle came back, walking through the dining area to the kitchen. He had escaped to his room, briefly debated a cold shower, but opted instead to bite his knuckles and think of mud and murder and toe jam. "Dinner's ready, actually," Castle said as he opened the oven. Kate followed him to the kitchen and opened the drawer to grab utensils, while Martha worked on plates and Alexis cleared her books and papers to just one end of the table.

Kate glanced at Castle to find he was looking at her feet again. "You okay, Castle?"

Rick looked up at her with a bit of a scowl on his face. "Hmm?"

"Something wrong?"

"No."_ How am I supposed to eat dinner when all I can think about is touching her toes? Sucking on her toes? I don't even like toes!_ But her toes had invaded his mind.

They all sat down at the table with plates of baked chicken, cheesy rice and broccoli. It looked delicious, and reminded Kate that breakfast was something she wanted to discuss with Castle.

"Dad said the diner you went to serves up a good breakfast."

"Uh, yeah."

"You had breakfast with Mr. Beckett?"

"Oh, he didn't tell you that, huh?" Kate said looking to Alexis. "Yes, apparently our fathers ran into one another completely out of the blue and decided to have breakfast."

"That's…interesting. How is Jim, Richard?"

Rick looked at the three women looking back at him. Kate was going somewhere with this. "He's good."

"What did you guys talk about?"

"Oh, you know…being dads, uh, the jamboree."

"That all, Castle?"

"No, of course not."

"So, you talked about Alexis?"

"Yes."

"And you talked about me?"

"Yes."

"About work?"

Castle nodded.

"Ashley?"

"Yes."

"Sheryl?"

"Yes."

"Next book?"

"Yeah."

"Plans for the weekend?"

"Yes."

"Anything else?"

"That about covers it."

"How was the bacon?"

"Goo—huh?"

"Bacon, Castle!"

"Dad! You know you're not supposed to eat bacon!"

"Richard, really, Dear. Especially not at some greasy dive."

"I can't believe your dad ratted me out!"

"He didn't say a word, Castle."

"Then how'd you—?"

"I'm a detective, Castle." She reached to pick up her phone. "Oh, and my phone smells like bacon."

Castle took her phone from her and sniffed it. "I think it smells like you."

"I do _not_ smell like bacon, Castle."

"You could give it a try…I hear there's a new bacon cologne."

Alexis reached for the phone. "Let me see. I'll tell you what it smells like." Alexis also sniffed Kate's phone. "Definitely bacon, Dad." She held it out to Martha.

"Kate, too. But, I agree. Bacon."

"You knew there would be consequences for cheating, Dad." Alexis looked at Kate. "He was on your watch. You get to pick the punishment."

"_My_ watch? I didn't even know he'd left yet."

"Still, Kiddo, if he hadn't been at breakfast with your father, he would have been with you. I say, perfect opportunity to extract your pound of flesh."

"No jot of blood, Shylock."

Castle grinned, "Concern for my wellbeing, Portia? I'm touched." _Touched by an Angel—that's what that show was called. _"You know the offer to spank me still stands."

"Dad!" Alexis said with laughter in her voice.

Kate reached out and slapped the back of his head. "There. Now you're 'touched.'"

"Close enough."

"Close as you're gonna get."

Alexis laughed at the two of them. Kate was so perfect for them. Gina was her dad's publisher and she doubted the woman could quote anything from her dad's books—let alone Shakespeare.

"So, what's it going to be, Kate?"

"I'd go with a shopping spree."

"Of course, you would, Mother. When don't you?"

"Dad gives great massages."

_Yes, he does, _Kate thought. He'd massaged her shoulders many times now and her _socked_ feet a few times. _If he knew how much that turned her on… _She'd had to make an excuse to get up a couple times. Kate looked over at Castle. He was holding his large hands out to her, wiggling his fingers.

"I'm thinking something more…menial," Kate said. She smiled. "You know…my desk hasn't been dusted in a while. Could use a good polish."

"That sounds fair," Alexis said.

"I think you're going too easy on him." She turned to her son. "Next time you screw up, it's my turn. Mama needs a new nighty…something tiny and shiny."

Castle cringed.

Alexis groaned. Kate laughed outright. "Or just don't screw up again, Castle, 'cause next time, the punishment I pick is you have to take your mom shopping...for a nighty."

"I'm never eating bacon again."

* * *

><p>In the kitchen, Kate was loading the dishwasher while Rick packed up leftovers. Alexis watched the two of them move around the kitchen together.<p>

"Kate?" she asked. "I've been wanting to ask you something for days."

"Well, you know you can ask me anything, Lex."

"Well this is…" Alexis paused to start over. She hadn't talked this over with her dad, but she was sure he wouldn't mind. "Would you have any interest in camping with us?"

Kate whipped up to find Rick looking at her.

"Castle! You can't use your daughter against me!"

_Again?_ Castle thought, feeling defeated "I didn't mention it to her, _De-tec-tive_, because I didn't want her to be disappointed when you said 'no.'"

_Wait? _When?_ He assumed I was going to say 'no' and he still asked me?_

"Dad already asked you?"

"He did," Kate replied as she went around to sit beside Alexis. "It made me think of my mom." Kate tried to explain to Rick as well as Alexis.

Alexis touched Kate's arm.

"I'm sorry, Kate. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories of your mom."

"It wasn't bad—" Kate and Castle began to speak at the same time, and they both stopped at the same time. Kate looked at Rick who stood right across from her before continuing.

"It wasn't bad memories, Alexis. It just reminded me that she's not here to make memories. And I get kind of…melancholy sometimes. The truth is—and here's something you don't know about me, Rick—I have _no_ bad memories of my mother. None." Kate looked up at Rick, knowing he knew what she meant.

"I remember my younger years just fine, but the years where I know I gave my parents hell? I mean, I even went through a phase where I wore a studded dog collar. I know this is true. There's photographic evidence—that you will never, ever see," she said to Rick with a quick smile. "But I don't really remember it. I remember other things—things I did with friends, basketball, things I read—but not my mom and not much of my dad."

"Oh, Kate." Alexis' arms were around her.

"It's not so bad, Alexis," Kate said, running her hand over the girl's hair. "Not having bad memories. Just…strange. But, I figure, if therapy and hypnotherapy didn't help, I'm not meant to have them."

Kate kind of laughed and ran a shaky hand through her own. "I really don't know what's wrong with me." She thought of the things she wouldn't even say to her father earlier, and her she was spilling her guts to Alexis and Rick, with Martha just behind them in the living room. "That was a whole load of stuff I didn't mean to say that had a whole lot of nothing to do with camping. I meant to say, the truth is—I love camping."

"So...," Alexis said, "does that mean you'll come with us?"

"Hold that thought, Alexis."

She got up and went to her laptop bag. Her response had Rick wondering. He walked around the counter to stand beside Alexis, curious about what she was doing. Kate came back and sat in the stool she'd just left. Again, Rick noticed her toes as she tucked her left foot under her leg. Kate wasn't aware of his attention on her feet, though. She'd thought about Rick a lot that afternoon. How much had Rick and Alexis done for her? And he asked her for one simple thing—to go camping, help chaperone?

As the day went on, she discovered it was something she really, really wanted to do. Well…maybe not chaperone, but it would mean she'd get to spend some extra time with two of her favorite people. And really she'd love to see Rick in a new setting, relaxed around a camp fire. She'd spent half the day fantasizing about it.

This wasn't exactly how she planned to bring it back up, with Alexis right there, but it hardly mattered. She held out a slip of paper to Rick. He recognized the "From the desk of Det. Kate Beckett" at the top and smiled. He undid Kate's neat half-fold.

_I want a do-over._

Rick caught Kate's eye and raised his eyebrows, clearly asking '_Really?_' Castle leaned forward from where he stood behind Alexis, far enough that a clueless Alexis was able to read the note Kate handed him.

"Detective Beckett, would you like to go camping with us?"

Kate smiled. "Yes. Yes, I would."

Alexis squealed and clapped her hands, and leaned in to hug Kate. "Yes! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! This is gonna be so much fun!"

Kate passed Castle another slip of paper. "I took off Thursday and Friday. That's when we're going, right?"

Castle nodded, feeling a little dumbfounded that this was actually happening after the response he received earlier.

"That's a list of all the stuff I could think of that we have. Dad's checking on fishing poles and a few other things. Might have some extra sleeping bags if the kids don't have their own."

Alexis took the list from her dad. "This is great, Kate. I'm going to add this to our list. Hey, maybe you can go shopping with us for the rest of the stuff we need?"

Standing between them, Castle mouthed "Thank you." Kate smiled at him again.

"Sure, Alexis...you know, standard 'if there's no body' clause."

A thought suddenly occurred to Castle. "We tent camp. Is that okay with you?"

"I prefer a tent, actually. My grandparents had an RV, but I always wondered what the point was if you just had a scaled-down version of a house? Where will we be camping?"

"Adirondacks," Alexis answered.

"We'll work out the details later," Castle said. "Right now, I need to go, or I'm going to be late."

"Yeah, you don't need another Patterson Penalty," Martha said walking into the kitchen with her empty wine glass.

"What's a Patterson Penalty?"

"That's when James gets to write a line that the other guy has to figure out how to use in his next book," Martha explained.

"Yeah. I like Connelly's better. It's just drop a fifty in his jar."

"And what's yours, Mr. Castle?"

"Ah, you know mine, Ms. Beckett."

"Hmm. Truth or Dare," Kate answered.

"Exactamundo."

"Dad, you better scoot. Besides, we have things to do—that _don't_ require your presence."

"Right," Castle said dropping a kiss on Alexis' cheek. Then, without thinking, he turned to his left and planted one on Kate's cheek, too. Martha wondered at how Kate seemed to know it was coming? She'd moved just slightly, almost imperceptibly, to receive Rick's kiss. She watched the two pull back, each aware of what just happened, but entirely confused.

Rick hadn't planned to kiss her. But his Jiminy Cricket that was normally there telling him "_Don't do it, man! Don't do, it!_" apparently packed up and went on vacation. When he pulled back he expected Kate to be glaring at him. It wasn't the same as greeting her at the door and it wasn't a joke. But instead all he saw was confusion and surprise and warmth.

Kate felt like she was losing all her composure. Part of her was screaming _What the hell are you thinking? You can't kiss me! Especially not in front of Alexis and Martha!_ And another, louder part was screaming _What the hell are you thinking? Kiss me properly!_ But she couldn't be thinking like that. She had things she had to straighten out. _Maybe camping was not such a good idea?_

"Right," Castle said. "Have fun then. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Kate sat quietly, playing with the apple she'd picked up from the tray in from of her until she heard the door click shut.

"Are you two—?"

_Of course! He leaves me here to answer questions! _Kate looked from Alexis to Martha, hoping the older woman could somehow tell her how to answer a question like that, but Martha seemed just as interested in an answer as Alexis.

"No."

"But you're not…" Alexis wasn't even sure which question to ask.

Kate could only imagine how confusing this must be for Alexis. She came home Sunday to find the two of them asleep together, then learned Kate had stayed the whole weekend. And she was here tonight, going camping with them and…well, everything else. But Kate wasn't fairing much better in the clarity department, so she decided on an honest answer.

"I can't un-complicate this for you, Lex." She squeezed Alexis' hand in her own.

Martha came around the counter and wrapped her arms around Kate. "We're not asking you to, Kate. Just know were vested in your happiness as much as his." Martha squeezed a little harder and whispered in her ear. "Though I think it's one in the same."

Kate brought her other hand up to Martha's arm and leaned her head onto Martha's. _These Castle-Rodgers_, she thought, looking at Alexis. _Could they dig in a little deeper?_

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you are all happy and healthy. Let me know what you think so far! And thanks in advance!<strong>


	38. Ch 38 On stage

**Just got back from a little camping excursion with my guys! For future reference—having a birthday party while camping is a bad idea. We ended up coming back with way more stuff than we left with! Also, don't order cakes from people who are just "filling in" at the bakery counter—we ended up with one 2x bigger than what I was expecting!**

**Thanks to you all for the many wonderful notes, congratulations and birthday wishes to my little pumpkie! He was pretty stoked about turning 4!**

**I have another pretty long chapter for you…with a scene I have been waiting and waiting and waiting to write! I hope it's worthwhile! :o) **

* * *

><p>Chapter 38 – On stage<p>

Finally, Kate moved. "We should get to work," she told Alexis. "Why don't you get your stuff and I'll set up the laptop—show you what I've been working on?"

Kate walked into the kitchen and pulled out a dishtowel. At the piano, she laid the laptop on the towel and started opening her program while Alexis moved a stool and her music stand closer to the piano.

"So," Martha said, leaning on the piano while Kate and Alexis set up. "Do I get to stick around while you two work on this project? I would love to actually hear you play rather than just hear about it."

"Well, any requests, Martha?"

"What can you play?"

Kate shrugged. "I don't know. What do you like? Sinatra, Bach, Mraz?"

"Just play something."

"Okay," Kate started to play _Hand in My Pocket_. "I've always liked Alanis Morissette."

"Oh, wait, wait, wait!" Alexis cried. "Come on, Kate. I know you can sing!"

Kate smiled and shook her head was still playing. "No way, Alexis. I'm not going to sit here and sing all by myself."

"Well, I don't know the lyrics, or I'd sing with you."

"Don't know the lyrics?" Kate stopped abruptly. "Sweetie, I thought your father schooled you in the classics?"

"I tried her out…she just seemed so…angry."

Kate laughed. "Yeah…early years, especially. We got along well. You'll have to check out some of her other stuff."

"Kate, I'd love to hear you—and I'm an actress, I'm used to hearing people sing—even myself, _without _music."

"Great. I'll play something you know."

"What would you like?"

Martha set her water down on the piano. "I would like to hear you."

Kate winced at the thought of the ring that thing would leave on the mahogany piano top. "I haven't had near enough to drink for that to happen."

"Come on. No need to be shy. No one gets away with that in _this_ family. I'm not above begging or blackmail."

"Are you sure _you_ didn't have breakfast with my father?"

"No, but I'd be happy to call him up…or you know, tell Richard about this secret skill of yours."

Kate scoffed. "What'd I ever do to you?" she grumbled.

Martha snapped her fingers and pointed at Kate. "Ha! Looks like I win."

"Fine," Kate gave in. "One song." She looked at Martha who looked almost giddy with her victory. "On one condition."

"What's that, Dear?"

"You're killing me with that glass on the piano."

"Ohh!" Martha exclaimed, lifting it immediately. "Sorry, Love! Richard would have my head."

Kate smiled at the endearment. Martha was so…free. "So would my grandma," Kate said as she glided fingers over the keys and resumed the song she'd begun earlier. She felt so very uncomfortable singing in Castle's living room for his mother and daughter. But she did, or rather she played and sang the first few stanzas before skipping ahead to the final one and letting the song trail off.

"See, Gram? I told you she was amazing!"

"Indeed. I was expecting something less…exceptional. You have a tremendous voice, Kate."

Kate blushed. "Thank you."

"That's putting it lightly. I know—we're embarrassing you. But really, thanks. Dad's going to be so jealous when he finds out we got a private concert."

"But, he's not _going_ to find out."

"Don't kid yourself, Kate. If it's about you, Dad _will _find out."

"If he doesn't already know. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't dig up your college transcripts as part of his 'research'."

Kate looked at Martha eyes wide in surprise. That thought hadn't ever occurred to her, but she realized Martha was probably right.

"What? He's very thorough—especially where you're concerned."

_I wonder if I can get my records sealed?_

"But, if he had, you'd have surely heard about it by now, so…best not to worry, and, I want to know what's with the laptop?"

Kate smiled. "Well, I took the recording we did last time and uploaded it into this program. It's kind of cheating, but it then lets you pick an instrument and it auto-suggests a score to go along with it based on criteria you set. Then you can play around with it—either composition, until you have something you like."

"Wow. I didn't know they made stuff like this." Alexis sat down beside her on the piano bench.

"Yeah, this is an older version. Kind of pirated it from my cousin—but she insisted in exchange for playing at her wedding. Wanna hear it?"

Kate went to hit 'play' on one of the files.

"Which do you want to hear first? I have two versions…one with the tweaked notes from your composition—think I got them in there right. And, just for fun, I added with the piano as a backdrop."

"Let's hear just my piece first." Alexis turned to Martha. "Last time, Dad came home before I actually got to play the section Kate helped me rework. I wrote them down, but my sheet looks like connect-the-dots now and I can't tell which ones are which."

Kate dug around in the laptop bag again. "Here, I printed this out for you. You can make changes right here, if you want. It saves all your previous versions, so you don't lose anything and always have a clean sheet."

"That's awesome."

"You want to listen first and then play it for us?"

Alexis nodded. Kate played the file and watched Alexis as she listened. It was different to hear your own stuff played back to you. She could see that Alexis was proud of the piece, but still listening critically. Kate thought she had a lot to be proud of. Alexis had talked through, played through and analyzed each of the changes they were now listening to. She had produced a piece that sounded beautiful. Kate was pretty certain there was a spot where Alexis would want to adjust the tempo, but whether she did or didn't, Kate was pleased for her.

She knew how much Alexis appreciated the likes of Taylor Swift and Hayley Blue, so for her to have completed her own composition—and not just lyrics or poetry, which would be far easier for her to crank out? Despite her disdain for cheerleaders, Kate felt like breaking out the pom-poms and doing a little dance herself.

When the piece was over, they listened as Alexis played through it perfectly. It sounded so much better in person than through the speakers on Kate's laptop. Plus, there was the emotional element that connected Alexis and her violin to the piece she'd created for her father which made it all the more beautiful to Kate.

After Alexis played it through a few more times and tried out a couple of changes, Kate showed her how to save them and print out a fresh music sheet. While Alexis was making her adjustments, Kate was listening and every now and then would play a section along with her and adjust the piece the software program had auto-created. She wanted the piano piece to be more in the background to really show off the piece Alexis has created. With her piece finalized, all Alexis had to do was commit it to memory so she could play it for her father at his party.

"You should frame the sheet music and give that to him along with the CD," Martha suggested to her granddaughter.

"That's a great idea, Gram."

"It is. Your father's going to love it. This will totally top that chocolate badge you gave him."

"It will, won't it?" Alexis asked grinning.

"Come on, Darling, play it again."

"Are you going to play it with me this time?" Alexis asked. "You've only played sections."

"If you want me to. I just thought it would be fun to do. Plus, I didn't have to do any of the work for it."

Alexis began to play the soft, melodic notes. After she reached the repeat bar line, Kate joined in with long, low chords that complimented Alexis' piece without overpowering it. It was hard for Kate to keep up because it was the first time she'd played it all the way through and she was trying to read the notes from off her laptop screen. When they reached the end, though, Martha was clapping.

"It's wonderful! Like having an orchestra in the living room!"

"Wow. That did sound really good! It makes the whole thing seem more..."

"Real?" Kate suggested, thinking Alexis was just a little overwhelmed at hearing her own piece combined like that.

"No. Well, real, yeah. But complete. Makes it seem fuller—better."

"Oh, I don't think so, Alexis. Another layer, yes. But definitely not better. This was just for fun, you know? So, I could play it with you, show you how this software works."

"I know…_but_," Alexis emphasized, "do you think we could record it with the piano and put that on the CD, too? That way there's more than just one thing on the CD?"

"I suppose you _could_, but wouldn't you rather just give him the piece you spent so much time working on rather than add this other computer-generated component?"

"Of course not, Dear! Plus, we just sat here listening to you tweak parts, so we know that wasn't all the computer."

"Please, Kate? You've helped me make this piece sound so much better. I was about ready to throw it out and settle on a new tie. I'd hate to not give him both versions, especially when it adds to it."

"If that's what you want to do Alexis, I don't mind."

"Fantastic! Then it can be from both of us!"

"Oh, no! Anonymity for me."

"But you said you still don't know what you're going to get him, and this is perfect."

"Not true. I have ideas, I'm just not sure about them. What are you getting him, Martha?"

"Oh, I don't give Richard birthday presents. Instead, he gifts _me_ for birthing him. And frankly, Dear, that's as it should be."

Kate looked at her, slightly puzzled.

"Do you have any idea how big his head is?"

Kate laughed. "Oh, I've got an idea."

"They actually thought he might have set the record for biggest head circumference. Looked it up and everything. He didn't, but I was fully dilated for nearly 20 hours. He wouldn't budge. They couldn't even fit the foreceps up there to try and drag him out. Ripped me to shreds when he finally did make it out."

"TMI, Gram."

_Agreed_, Kate thought.

In all seriousness, Martha turned to Kate. "But, I don't want you to worry, Dear. Apparently big heads don't run in the family. Alexis was small. Just 5 pounds."

"I, I…" Kate paled before turning pink. Kate's thoughts hadn't gone there until Martha forced it. _Curse that woman! I wasn't anywhere near thinking that! I wasn't worried. Oh, my God! Now, I'm going to be thinking that. How am I going to get that image out of my head? Great…now I'm thinking about sex with Castle and potential outcomes of sex with Castle while his mother and daughter are staring at me. Worse. They know I'm thinking about it and they're thinking about it, too! Ahh! Martha! _Never had anyone wanted to crawl under a piano and die more than Kate did at that moment.

Martha went on pretending to be oblivious to Kate's shock and embarrassment, while Alexis tried and failed to hide her smirk. "So, what are you thinking for Richard, Kate?"

"Oh, I, uh…" _Think. Then. Speak. _Kate paused, eyebrows cocking in confusion as she tried to figure out what to say. "I actually have a couple of ideas, but I keep coming back to one."

"Okay, so what is it?" Alexis asked.

"Puppy. Why don't you guys have a dog? Other people in the building have dogs. I think I want to get him a dog. I mean, he'd like a dog, right?" Kate was rambling, and felt oddly embarrassed. She wasn't sure if it was because of wanting to get him a puppy or still from Martha.

Martha and Alexis looked at each other knowingly, but Kate missed it. She was talking like she was still trying to talk herself into it. Or out of it. She had other ideas, but this is the one that hounded her, so to speak. She also wasn't sure how she felt about wanting to get Rick a puppy. A puppy seemed…big, but she just kept imaging Rick with a puppy and it made her smile. She knew he loved dogs. He always stopped to pet them, watched them play when they were in the park, and really, she was baffled as to why he didn't have a dog already.

"Kate, Dad would love a puppy."

"Years ago, when he and Gina were married, Alexis wanted to get him a puppy. Richard always wanted a dog, so it was perfect. A little surprising that Alexis wanted to get him a puppy because, believe it or not, Alexis was a bit anxious around dogs. We brought it home, with all sorts of toys and such. But Gina hated the idea of having a dog in the house—or of not having been consulted."

Alexis picked up the story. "So, for a few hours, he had a dog and he was thrilled. But, after Gram left, they got into a huge fight. And the dog had to go. Gram took me shopping the next weekend to find a replacement gift, and that's how we ended up with Rex." Alexis pointed to the metal dog statue on the sofa table. "Rex isn't so bad to look at, but he's not exactly cuddly and he doesn't play fetch."

"Really, Kate, it's a marvelous idea. Richard will love it. What kind of puppy do you have in mind?"

"Well, I was hoping to convince you two to help me figure it out."

"Well, I don't know a thing about dogs, Dear. I know I couldn't stand a yapper and whatever you get, I'll be hiding my shoes, sleeping with my door shut."

"I'll help, Kate. And, if we find one, I'll be able to help take care of it. We'll have to hide it at your apartment, but I won't be in school, so I can make sure it gets out for walks and stuff."

"Really? Honestly, I was wondering how to handle that if you guys said yes."

"We say yes," Alexis assured her. "This is gonna be so cool!"

"Okay then. We'll look and see." Kate smiled. She'd thought maybe there was a reason they didn't have a dog, but that didn't seem to be the case. She was excited about it. Now, it was just a matter of choosing the perfect puppy for Rick. She wondered, for a moment, if it wouldn't be better to involve him in the decision, but she wasn't willing to give up the look of surprise and excitement she knew would grace his face.

* * *

><p>"Beckett." Kate answered her phone, knowing it was Ryan. She was sitting on Esposito's couch waiting for him to finish changing—wondering what exactly Lanie felt the need to assist him with? The man <em>had<em> been dressing himself quite successfully for years, and they were already running late thanks to Esposito having forgotten his combat boots; hence, the detour from Lanie's place to Esposito's on the way to the Village Pourhouse.

"What do you mean 'which house?" Beckett asked, nodding to Lanie and Esposito as they emerged from his bedroom.

She listened to Ryan explain that he and Jenny had done a mini wine tour and stayed at a bed and breakfast the night before. Now, they were just getting to Castle's place in the Hamptons, but there were apparently two houses at the address Castle had given him, and he couldn't get ahold of Castle to figure out which one the key code went to.

"Honestly, I don't know how you expect me to know. I didn't even know there were two houses. Are you sure you're at the right place?"

Kate listened again. "No, Castle's _not_ with me." _What am I? His babysitter?_"He's doing that celebrity server thing." Lanie and Esposito were giving her questioning looks, so she pulled the phone away from her mouth. "Apparently Castle has two houses in the Hamptons. Ryan doesn't know which one the pass code is for."

"Two?" Lanie exclaimed. "This I gotta see. Kevin, tell Jenny to text me a pic," she yelled so Ryan could hear.

Ryan responded to Beckett that they were on it and asked what they should do. "Well, I don't know, Ryan. Pick one and hope the Hampton's PD doesn't descend on you."

One of the two in the Hamptons said something that caused Beckett to smirk. "Well, I guess I could call Alexis. She might know."

"Holy Hell!" Lanie exclaimed, looking at her phone. "How much money does that man have?" she asked, looking back and forth between Kate and the phone.

Kate shook her head. She had no idea, didn't much care, and was busy dialing Alexis now. Lanie held up the picture of the two houses to her. Two bungalow-style homes, similar in color and structure stood slightly angled toward one another. Though the picture was taken too close to see either of the houses completely, Kate could see that though they were similar, they were not mirror images of one another. Each had gray-shingle siding and a maroon colored door, but the doors were in different in style. The house on the right had a long covered porch, suitable for lounging on; the other had a smaller covered entryway. On the far left of the photo, she could make out a garage door.

Alexis answered. "Hello?"

Kate could hear other people in the background. "Hey, Alexis. Make it to Mystic yet?"

"Yeah. Last night actually. Everyone's just gathered to have dinner for his grandmother's birthday. Remember the lady with the little dog at the Mandarin I told you about?"

"Yeah."

"That's his grandmother, but with a cat."

"Coat and all?"

"Uh-huh."

Kate laughed. "Well…remember what I said. Which is worse?"

"I think _Moulin Rouge_ would be more entertaining."

"Well…honey, I got nothing. Maybe take Ashley for a walk later? Be his saving grace?"

"Maybe. So…what's up? Everything okay there?"

"Actually, I need a favor. Or rather, Kev needs a favor. I'm staring at a picture of your place in the Hamptons. There are two houses, Lex?"

"Um…Yeah, I guess. They're kind of connected with a walkway on the ground floor and an outdoor patio kitchen. They share a basement."

"So, the code your dad gave Ryan?"

"Works on either. They're welcome to whichever side…We normally stay in the one with the garage, but they both have access to the pool."

"The pool?"

"Yeah. It's actually too cold to swim there most of the year, so there's a pool. Under the patio. There's a walkout basement on either side and central access to the pool. It's probably too cold for the bay, so make sure you tell them to find the pool."

"Oh, I'm sure they'll be exploring. Sounds like there's a lot to discover."

"Yeah. I better let you go. They're seating our party."

"Okay, have fun, Alexis. I hope you uncover a zany aunt or some such craziness. Call me if you need anything."

"You, too. Try to keep Dad out of trouble."

"Impossible. Bye, Alexis."

Kate turned back to her audience. Esposito was talking to Ryan, so she had him fill them in as the trio walked out the door, finally heading to their original destination.

* * *

><p>The Village Pourhouse was packed. While Lanie was beside them itching to dance, Esposito and Beckett kept alert eyes open for any sign of Castle. They knew he was there, they just didn't know where. They stopped finally, a few feet from the dance floor and tables where they could grab a table if one opened up and still scan the crowd. From there, they could the bar. When a large group moved further onto the dance floor, they revealed a man that Kate immediately recognized as Castle, even from behind.<p>

Castle was being hit on by a woman. She had her hands all over him, touching his back, his arm—_did she?_ _She just dipped her finger inside Castle's collar!_ Kate was feeling oddly hostile toward this woman. For Castle's part, he seemed uncomfortable and he was looking over his opposite shoulder, clearly looking for them. Kate was about to go over there when the woman turned. Kate clenched her jaw. She knew this woman. It was none other than Jenna Macaborski—also known as Lauren's mom and the former Mrs. Hinton.

Kate turned immediately, not wanting Lanie and Esposito to know she'd spotted Castle, but she was too late. Lanie's eyes followed Kate's the minute she saw her friend scowl.

"Looks like Castle found himself an admirer," Lanie said, causing Esposito to look. "Go over there and save him, Honey."

Esposito started to move off. "Not _you_." Lanie smacked Esposito. _Like I'm gonna send _my_ man off to get a _kind of _beautiful woman away from Castle. Idiot._ She tugged on Kate's arm. "_You_."

"No, Lanie. He knows how to handle himself. He can take care of her—if he wants to."

"Look at him. He's obviously not enjoying her attentions. Not get your scrawny little behind over there and help the man out!"

"No!"

"Come on, he'd do it for you, and you know it."

He had, in fact, but this was different. "I can't, Lanie."

"What? Why not?" Lanie demanded.

Kate heaved in exasperation and gestured in Castle's direction. "Shewanstasleepwime," she mumbled.

"What?" Lanie asked, while Javier choked on his beer. He had a bit more experience making out garbled confessions. Lanie was busy looking between the two.

"Really?" he asked. Kate simply sneered at him and nodded quickly in a "no, you idiot—I'd lie about something like that" fashion.

"Really what?" Lanie exclaimed.

"It seems Castle's 'admirer'—as you called her—fancies Beckett." Lanie was looking at him confused, and looked back to Kate for clarification.

"I said 'she wants to sleep with me.'" Kate explained. "So, no way in hell I'm going over there."

Lanie burst out laughing.

"It's not funny, Lanie! I'm serious!" Kate hissed, while Lanie turned back to where Castle sat at the bar. She started in his direction, but Kate pulled her back.

"Hey, Castle!" Lanie yelled over the music. Kate was going to clamp her hand over her friend's mouth in a way that very much reminded her of junior high, but she saw Castle turn toward them and realized it was too late. He was already heading toward them. Unfortunately, his leech saw fit to link her arm with Castle's and walk with him.

"I hate you," Kate hissed again.

"Ooh, Javi. This is better than the movies," Lanie said rubbing her hands together and linking arms with Javier. "You so owe me for the free entertainment."

Esposito just nudged Beckett's arm. "Just remember and repeat to yourself: Esposito had nothing to do with this. Esposito had nothing to do with this."

Kate knew Castle was standing right in front of her, hands in his pockets—not that she was staring at that particular area. She knew she'd have to meet his eyes soon, but it was hard not to notice his blue jeans, paired tonight with a dark blue button down, open at the collar, like normal, a thick black belt and black shoes. His hair looked more heavily gooped than normal. Kate looked at him more closely and realized that he was wearing a bit of makeup, expertly applied.

When Kate reached his eyes, he cocked an eyebrow at her. She didn't look away, as he spoke, though she was aware of Jenna's hand on his left shoulder, her other playing with the buttons on Castle's shirt—like she was free to do so. It angered Kate a bit, and Castle saw it, but he wasn't quite sure how to interpret it.

"Jenna," Castle said. "I'd like you to meet some good friends of mine. Dr. Lanie Parish and former Airman First Class, Detective Javier Esposito" He never looked toward Jenna, and glanced only briefly at Lanie and Esposito when he introduced them. His eyes were on Kate.

She looked beautiful tonight. She always did, but tonight… Her hair was pulled back loosely at the nape of her neck, with thick curls descending down her back. She wore a sleeveless boat-neck red shirt, tucked into low-riding jeans that perfectly accented her curves. Strappy red sandals with a stunningly thin heel showed off those damn red toes. _She had to have done it on purpose_, he thought.

"Nice to meet you," Jenna shook each of their hands briefly.

"And you remember Detective Kate Beckett."

"Of course," Jenna said. She trailed the back of her fingers down Kate's arm before ending with a light squeeze of her hand. "From the Mother's Day brunch."

Castle watched as Kate cringed and shivered—and _not _with pleasure. She was trying not to be rude or make a scene, but he could see the flare in her eyes and the way she squinted when Jenna touched her. He tried not to smirk as he silently asked her "How do you think I feel?"

"Turns out Jenna's the production set designer for the cable network," he said by way of explanation. "Knows my media schedule." _She's stalking me._

Jenna's hand returned to Castle's chest and it was his turn to cringe. Kate saw it, but was silently refusing to do anything about it. Castle kept on though, silently goading her, challenging her, much like she'd insisted he read the barista's script during the _Temptation Lane_ case. Jenna was oblivious, but Lanie and Esposito were watching the silent exchange with interest. Finally, Kate rolled her eyes, and Castle knew he'd won. But he didn't know exactly what he won—he had no idea how this was going to play out, how Kate was going to help him get out of this mess.

The surprise on his face was clear when Kate took a tiny step forward, her eyes never leaving his. She reached out and physically removed Jenna's hand from the buttons on Rick's shirt.

"I told you, Jenna. I don't share." Kate's hand continued to travel up Rick's chest to his shoulder, where she brushed Jenna's other hand off from _her_ writer.

Jenna was persistent though, and the hand that Kate removed from Rick's buttons, now rested on Kate's arm. Castle put his right arm protectively around Kate's waist, and knocked his arm up to bump Jenna's hand off _his_ detective.

"Nor do I," he said, as he hauled Kate up next to him. She raised her eyebrows at him. _Alexis was right. He _is_ such an opportunist!_

"Now, if you'll excuse us," Castle said. "The lady promised me a dance." Castle squeezed his arm around Kate a little tighter and lifted her, seemingly effortlessly. Kate stiffened slightly, surprised at how quickly he'd lifted her, turned and carried her—one armed—the few steps to the dance floor. Her feet literally just grazed the floor. To an onlooker, they'd have looked like they were dancing.

Castle set her down three steps after sweeping her off her feet, but didn't release her completely.

"I promised you a dance, huh?" Kate asked looking up at Castle as he began to move them in step with the music.

"It's my story." He said pushing her away from him, and pulling her back by their joined hands. He guided her past his side, until they were nearly side by side. They paused there, his right arm grazing the swell of her breasts.

They'd maintained eye contact, so Kate was facing him when she said, "I believe I started writing that chapter, Castle."

Castle laughed and pushed her back out spinning her so that their arms crossed her front and her back was pressed into his chest. Kate could feel him behind her. She tried to suppress a shiver when he leaned down to her ear.

"Our story, then." Kate tucked her head and smiled. _Our story._

Castle didn't keep her there for long though, and she missed the contact almost immediately. He kept dancing with her, though, in a very fun-loving, casual way that belied his skill. She thought the way he was moving them probably looked a little goofy. But he didn't seem to care and she was having fun. The probably looked drunk or inexperienced, but Castle was clearly leading them in a pattern that only he seemed to know.

It reminded her of the way Harry and Hermione danced in their magical hut—only Castle was clearly a skilled lead. It was no pressure, just a loose, friendly dance. They smiled and laughed heartily about how awful Jenna was and Castle told her a long joke from one of his favorite comedy podcasts.

When the song switched to a slightly slower number, Castle pulled her closer and held their hands to his chest. She nestled her chin in her balled up fist which in turn rested on Castle's shoulder.

"I like dancing with you, Castle. You're a good dancer."

"I like dancing with you, too, Beckett." _So, so much_.

"How'd you learn?"

"Honestly? I spent a lot of time backstage. I was the constantly evolving understudy, back-up to the back-ups. And let me tell you…understudies are fickle. They go where the wind blows, so I was there. I learned lines, learned lighting, learned to dance—even learned to sew."

Kate pulled back to look at him. "Really?" They smiled at each other. Castle winked at her.

"All true. 'Cept the line dancing and two-stepping. It was very popular with the ladies when I was in college, so naturally, I picked it up."

"Naturally."

"What about you?"

"Ballet and tap when I was a lot younger, but Senior year, PE conflicted with my dual-enrollment courses, so I took ballroom as my elective. It was that or keyboarding basics with Mrs. Walrus."

"Walrus?"

Kate laughed. "Technically, it was Walrad, but she was mean and walked like a duck and everyone called her Mrs. Walrus—not to her face, of course."

"Of course."

When the song was almost over, Castle gave her a little squeeze. "We should find Lanie and Esposito."

Kate didn't agree or disagree, but she allowed Castle to lead her off the dance floor, she was disappointed when they reached the clearing and Castle dropped her hand. He saw a woman approaching with that look in her eye and knew immediately what she wanted. He was on display this weekend, and there was work to be done. He turned to Kate, hoping she'd forgive him for what he was about to do.

"Richard Castle! I'm your biggest fan! I just love your books."

_Yeah, right. Name one_, Kate thought to herself.

"Can I have your autograph?"

"My pleasure," Castle said. "Where would you like it?"

The woman puffed out her buxom. Her tight shirt already showed she'd crammed her boobs into too small a bra, and the action only made it worse. Castle hesitated; Kate rolled her eyes and looked away. She walked off looking for Lanie and Esposito, not wanting to see the end result, and not wanting to be there if any Nikki Heat questions came up.

The chest signing drew the attention of onlookers, and Castle was pulled into another round of photos and signings. He was loud and glossy and haughty. Kate could hear his fake laugh, even over the music from where she, Lanie and Esposito sat, waiting for him. Kate kept her back turned to it. She had a morbid curiosity, but couldn't bring herself to watch. Plus, she was busy schooling her reaction Castle's day job—if she watched, she knew Lanie and Esposito would read right through her.

Lanie was watching Castle though, and she didn't miss Castle's glances over at Kate. Fifteen minutes later, when Castle finally made it over to their table, he didn't want to sit. He was antsy. Kate was quiet. Her rational mind—which told her she had no cause to be upset with him—was fighting her green monster. She had no foothold; she was grasping at something she knew she wanted, but that remained out of reach. And she wasn't sure how to deal with celebrity Castle. It wasn't who he was to her, but it was certainly a part of Castle…and, in some ways, part of his appeal. In other ways, the reason she kept her distance.

But she hadn't kept her distance tonight, and she didn't want to any more. She'd seen the way he looked at her tonight. She'd felt his laughter rumble in his chest and marveled at how he could make her laugh so easily. His thumb had caressed her lower back while they danced. It wasn't much, but these little reminders were enough to quell the groundless, silent claims on him that were careening through her head every time another woman looked his direction. Besides, he was here, at her side again, and that's where she wanted him.

"You guys want to get out of here? I could really go for a burger."

Kate raised her eyebrows at him.

"Steak?"

As the three got up to leave, she heard someone shout, "It's Richard Castle and Nikki Heat!" Kate shrank back down. Castle pulled her up and whispered in her ear.

"Go. I'll catch up. Text me?"

Kate nodded and walked quickly for the exit while Castle put his arms out, and bowed dramatically. "At your service!"

* * *

><p><strong>Isn't Jenna awful? God, I've been wanting to do that for so long…and the puppy! Can't wait for that, either!<strong>

**Thanks for the reviews! They're this story's lifeblood. **


	39. Ch 39 Recall

**All – thanks for the great reviews. Some of you have made puppy recommendations and requests…I'll do my best! Also, thanks for offering info on puppy adoptions!**

**This chapter took a while to crank out because I was having a hard time deciding how I wanted to present it. Tried out a non-linear approach...still up in the air as to what I think about it overall, but I do like how it allowed me to switch POVs so easily. **

**Anyway, this chapter became so long I decided to cut it in half. The good news is, this means the next chapter is more than half-way done…but if I try to fit everything I planned to in the next one, that one will be really long, as well. **

* * *

><p>Chapter 39 – (Re)call<p>

Detective Kate Beckett was determined to have a better day today than she'd had yesterday. Her two-day work week hadn't started out well, and she was looking forward to leaving as soon as possible today.

The day before, she'd come in early, only to find a newspaper folded in quarters on her desk. She'd stood over her desk staring at a large photo of a grinning Richard Castle who was waving to on-lookers and looking suave in his tux. She could see a limo in the background. In front of his shoulder, there was a young woman with a stylish, short bob framing her heart-shaped face. She looked thrilled to be there.

Kate's eyes flitted to the headline: _Richard Castle Ignites _Heat Wave_ Across NYC._ Then her eyes went to the three photos below the larger one. Two showed Castle posed and ready for the pictures to be snapped. She recognized the woman in the first photo as Jenna and, in the other photo, his co-host from the day before.

The picture on the bottom right, though? That was a candid shot of Castle and her taken at the Village Pourhouse. The photographer had captured the moment she'd pulled back to look at him, after he told her how he'd learned to dance…and sew. It was a _nice_ picture of a _private_ moment.

It bothered Kate—to think that someone had been watching them. Not only that, but she hadn't noticed, hadn't known. If she'd seen a flash, she could have prepared, but she hadn't. She didn't want to share what was between them with the world. She loved him. Would other people see that? Would Castle? She wasn't ready for that—or the questions or comments or teasing that would come with this circulation.

Kate had looked at the photo more closely. It was professional quality, and Castle looked as handsome in it as the one above. More so, she knew, if the picture had shown his smile full-on. It was the only photo in which he wore a genuine smile. God, she loved that luminous smile of his! She loved all of his smiles. Not the fake ones. The real ones. The ones that lit up his eyes. The ones when Alexis called. The ones that made her feel like they were reserved for her alone.

They must have been standing closer than she remembered because she was leaned back quite far to look at him, yet she still couldn't make out their joined hands that she knew were held to his chest. As it was, the photo only showed them in profile, and only half their smiles. She could see the crinkles around Castle's right eye and his jawline, which she absentmindedly traced with her finger. She didn't need a picture to picture his face.

She'd heard footsteps behind her and dropped the paper to her desk. It was early, and the first day after a three-day weekend, so she didn't expect many of her fellow detectives to be there yet. She was prepared to scowl at whoever may have left the paper on her desk, but she found the captain instead. She'd quickly reconfigured her features.

"_Morning, Sir. Good weekend?"_

_He grimaced. "In-laws." It was the same answer he'd given when he came in on Sunday to find her there. She's been running a few names related to her mother's case—until she became distracted by puppies._

"_They decide to stay?" Kate had asked. _

"_For the rest of the week."_

"_Sorry, Sir."_

_Montgomery shrugged. "Girls are happy." _

Kate had gone, then, down to records. She'd spent part of Sunday reviewing the city-wide homicide summaries archived over the last month and one of them had similarities to a case they'd worked, almost a year ago. They hadn't gotten far on it, but she wanted to pull it to be sure. She'd decided to glance over it, and, if it warranted attention, she'd have the boys work on it while she was camping. _Oh, God! She was going camping with Castle!_ Giddy panic, again.

She felt like she'd been on an emotional rollercoaster for the last month. Losing Royce. The letter he'd left her. Being in LA with Rick. Losing her mother's ring. Crying her heart out for so many reasons on Castle's chest. Mother's day. Oh…and then there was that biggee—realizing she loves Castle. Not just that she had feelings for him or might be falling for him, but that she was truly, desperately in love with him. Then there's her inability to address it, and trying and failing to break up with Josh. She was still upset at having missed Josh's call the night before. _Calls_, she amended. Three missed calls and one message.

"_Hey, Babe. Happy Memorial Day. I was really hoping to talk to you. Got a calling card. Just got back to our base. We've been traveling out to some of the most desolate areas you can imagine. I actually did surgery on a goat. A first for me, believe me—but its, I don't know what you call it—milk sack?—got ripped. Family's only source of milk, so I sewed it back together. They gifted me with a bowl—which is, I guess, pretty significant among their tribe. Kept calling me "mhare"—which I'm told means 'hero' in Shona So, that's cool, huh? Anyway, I miss you. Wish you were here. Wish I could have seen you before I left, too, but, I'm sure something came up. A case or something. Probably the same thing right now. You're off saving New York, right? New York's 'mhare.' It's always that. Anyway, hope when I get back, you can take a break for a night. Let me take you to dinner. I know you've got Castle's thing, but, you know? Maybe I can take you to dinner before we have to get on the boat? Anyway, I love ya. Miss you. I'll, uh, try again next time we're in a town with a phone. Night. Love you." _

Why did she have to miss those calls? This could all be over, and she could talk to Castle. Tell him—tell him, what? She didn't know what she'd say to him. Words were his deal. Still, it would be nice to go camping with him and Alexis without that little speck of guilt. Kate shook her head. She had nothing to feel guilty about. They were friends. _Friends._ And partners. She could help a friend out, without feeling awkward about it. Right? _Friends._

She'd had to force her attention back to the evidence box. She'd sat in the records room to review the file. She didn't mind the dust or the musty smell, the dark or the quiet. People rarely went down there. Most often, they called the clerk who arranged delivery of the files. Kate didn't like that, though. The idea that all these unsolveds sat down there, without any thought or attention given to them bothered her. So, she made a habit of going down there on occasion, pulling out a random file, thinking about the victim and his or her family, and sending up a silent prayer.

She'd need more details in order to make a solid connection—if one existed. Kate checked out evidence box and carried it back upstairs. She plopped it on the chair next to Ryan's desk. Their computers were on, but neither was around. Figuring Castle wouldn't be in for a while, she decided on coffee, but when she heard Castle's voice, she stopped short of the break room.

"_Paula, you can't keep setting me up with these girls. She was barely older than Alexis!"_

She'd wanted to stay and hear the rest of that conversation, but she refrained and went back to her desk, happy to see that Castle had left her coffee there. She was filling out an evidence request form when Castle came back out and sat in his chair.

"_So, you've seen, then?" _

"_You're very photogenic." Kate never looked up. _

"_As are you." He wasn't sure if Kate was upset about this or not. He couldn't tell. "Mad?" _

_He watched as Beckett barely shook her head. _Yup. Mad.

_He picked up the paper and looked at it. He had Paula calling to get him a copy of the picture of him and Kate, but he'd given her hell about Brittani—"spelled with an 'i'." _

Kate hadn't been mad. She'd been irritated with herself because she wanted to know about his date, but there was no way she was going to ask. She'd sensed it was bad, and she was glad for it. Being glad for it only made her feel worse. Why couldn't she pretend like he did for her?_ How bad is it,_ she wondered, _that the best part of my day yesterday was learning that Castle had a bad date? _She almost snorted at the memory of it all.

"_Fucking vanilla," he mumbled, tossing the paper back on Beckett's desk._

"_Problem, Castle?"_

"_Smelled like someone dipped her in a vat of vanilla-scented lotion."_

"_And vanilla's bad?"_

"_Smells fake. All those vanilla scented things: candles, lotion, body spray, room fresheners. Gross. And that's _all_ she smelled like. Vanilla's meant for tasting…baked goods, ice cream…your coffee." _

_She made a mental note to throw out her vanilla scented candles. They weren't her favorites anyway. Housewarming gift—from Castle's doorman, of all things._

"_You drink my coffee?" _

_Castle looked up at her, eyes dropping to her lips. He'd tasted her coffee, yes. Kate felt heat rising in her chest. _

"_Couldn't dance either. You know, next time, I should make you go with me. You are my partner, after all. Be my backup?"_

_Next time? Backup? Was he asking her to be the backup in case Paula set him up with another 14-year old? She felt her stomach clench. Or was he asking her? No, she shook her head. Of course, he wasn't asking her. He still thought she was with Josh, and he wouldn't do anything to step on his toes. Kate's eyes went to the paper. But next time, maybe he'd know the truth. And maybe he'd ask and maybe she'd say 'Yes.' Was she ready for that?_

"_I don't think my 'partner' duties extend to protection from the point-n-shoot paparazzi." She watched Castle's smile falter. _Always with the wrong words, Beckett_, she thought to herself._

_She tried to recover his smile. "Really, what would my vest say? Muse?" _

They'd turned then, hearing the boys come up behind them.

"_Fucking assholes. I'm gonna see if Lanie can get fingerprints off these." They were still on the other side of the glass partition by the elevators._

"_Whoa!" Castle said, as they both stood. The boys were obviously rattled._

"_Detectives," Beckett said as the boys rounded the corner. "Whatchya got? New case I don't know about?"_

"_Oh, uh, no." Ryan said, quickly shifting the papers in his hand behind his back. _

_Beckett and Castle shared a look. Ryan started talking faster. "How are things? Castle, thanks, man. Your place is fabulous. We had a great time."_

_Castle stepped forward, while she stepped to the side. "Glad you had fun. Can't wait 'til we're all there for the Fourth."_

_Esposito stepped up beside his partner, blocking the papers behind Ryan's back. _

"_So, what are we fingerprinting?" Beckett asked._

"_It's nothing." Esposito said. _

"_Nothing, eh?" Castle asked._

"_Then why would Lanie be doing fingerprints? She's not the tech."_

"_It's nothing. Bad joke, Boss. You know, I would _never_ ask Lanie to utilize NYPD resources, except in an official capacity."_

"_Really?" Castle asked. "'Cause I do all the time."_

"_Castle." She warned and turned back on Ryan. "So, what are you hiding behind your back?"_

"_Oh, nothing. You know. Wedding plans."_

"_Bachelor party," Esposito said. "Private. Girls. You know."_

"_Private," Ryan reiterated._

"_The wedding plans aren't private and Jenny banned girls," Beckett said._

"_And as fellow-planner, I already know the bachelor party plans. And I know it's a surprise for the groom."_

"_So, Detective Ryan, I ask again. What's behind your back?" Beckett tried to hold Ryan's gaze, but he dropped eye contact._

"_Different bachelor party," Esposito gave it one final attempt. He'd looked at Castle who'd stepped back to lean against the wall. "You weren't invited."_

_Beckett raised her eyebrows at them._

_Ryan and Esposito looked at each other, deciding whether to dash or dish. They didn't notice Castle's long arm surge behind Ryan's back to snatch the papers. Before he had a chance to turn them over and look at them, Beckett had them in her hands._

"_What the hell is this?" she said wrinkling the papers in her fisted hand. "Why would you—?" she looked pained. _

"_Wait. No! We came in—I came in," Ryan said, "and saw it on the bulletin board." Kate looked at the papers more closely and noticed the pin holes. She'd believed them instantly; she knew they'd never do anything to hurt her. _

_Her first thought had been that this was somehow related to another bet about Castle and her, and she was ashamed to admit—even just to herself—that she'd thought they were involved. But they were her brothers, and they might tease her, but they'd never invade her privacy or seek to humiliate her. They were trying to protect her. _

"_They were posted all over, Beckett," Esposito said. "We've been in every break room and the locker rooms to make sure they're gone."_

_Kate nodded, but didn't speak. She couldn't. Castle had no idea what she was looking at until he looked over her shoulder. It was a blown-up, photocopied, black and white image of him and Kate. It was another from when they'd been dancing. Their arms crisscrossed her body, in what looked like an intimate hug from behind. _

_She'd fit there so nicely, Castle thought. In the photo, you could barely see his face at all. It looked like he was nuzzling her neck, but it was when he'd whispered "Our story" in her ear. Kate's chin was tucked, so you couldn't see her eyes, but the smile on her face was obvious. And sweet. She looked happy and relaxed and serene. He was so calling Paula._

"_Do you want us to talk to the Captain? I mean, your private life shouldn't be on display. That was low."_

_Kate was still staring at the papers in her hand._

"_Yeah, you know," Ryan said, "Whatever is between you two…it's nobody's business."_

_Kate shook her head. "There's nothing—and I mean _nothing_—going on between Castle and me." She said it loud enough for everyone to hear. "Got it?" she asked turning to the few onlookers. _

She hadn't been able to look at Castle. She'd gone back to her desk and shoved the papers in the wastebasket. Castle had followed her, sat down and played with his phone until he figured out where the photos had been posted. Blogs and twitter they didn't have much control over, but if it was from some other outlet, they might have some sway. Either way, he could have Paula run interference.

Once he figured it out, he'd texted Paula. Within fifteen minutes, he was on his way out and Beckett was glad to see him go.

By the time Castle had called later that night, though, to apologize again and to explain what he and Paula spent the afternoon doing, she was relieved to hear his voice. He had her laughing and relaxed in no time. Since time had kind of gotten away from them, she'd even ended up agreeing to leave early today to prepare for their camping trip.

Sitting at her desk, Kate wondered how it had been possible to miss him? After dinner on Saturday, she'd seen him briefly on Monday, but hadn't really had a chance to talk to him. She'd enjoyed talking to him last night—even if it was the reason she'd missed Josh's calls. It had been nice to catch up with him. He told her about the book signings and some of the sailors he'd met. He also disparaged the gala at the Intrepid—except the food from Q3—which, according to Castle, was the only highlight. He also mentioned that Madison had been there with someone other than Todd—so she knew she'd probably be calling to check in with her friend soon. Maybe they each had relationship status updates?

Kate was glad to finally be able to tell Castle about dinner with her dad and Sheryl, though she'd _maybe_ have preferred to tell him about it in person. At least that way she'd be able to tell if Castle thought she was being ridiculous. He didn't make her feel ridiculous though, and she didn't feel better about how it had gone until after she'd told him about it. It had been awkward, and she'd found herself wishing she'd waited until Rick was available—for the 'double date,' as her dad called it.

"Hey, Beckett," Ryan called from his desk, pulling Kate back to the present. "What do I have to do to get that kind of service?"

Kate looked down at Castle who was on his hands and knees, polishing her desk. He'd dusted and polished everything on top and allowed her to return to her desk only after replacing everything in the exact position it had been in. He was accepting the penance for his bacon indulgence with surprisingly little pushback. It might be because she'd agreed to cut out even earlier for lunch with him and Alexis before their shopping excursion—if he got it done before they left for their camping trip.

He'd finally made it around her desk and was back at her side. She was sure from where Ryan sat, it looked like Castle's head was bobbing in her lap—which would explain the look the boys were giving her. Beckett rolled her chair back away from her desk so Castle could reach the sides. He was being very thorough.

"I don't know what kind of service you're hoping to receive, Ryan," Beckett said, "'But if you've got a knob that needs a spit shine, I suggest you take it up with your partner."

Kate heard Esposito protest and Karpowski laugh behind her, but it was the loud thump that caught her attention. She looked down to see Castle, sitting leaned up against her desk, rubbing the back of his head and staring at her open mouthed.

Castle raised his eyebrows at her. "Spit shine, huh? Does that mean—?"

Beckett leaned forward, until her chest was just inches off her knees. She watched his eyes twitching. He was fighting it. "Sorry Castle," His eyes dropped to her chest. _Mission accomplished._ She smirked. "I don't deal with knobs."

Castle brought his eyes back to hers, enjoying the amusement he saw there. _She wants to play, huh?_

He smirked back at her, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Lucky for you, I'm really quite good with knobs…and nubs." Castle leaned forward. "Lucky for me, no knobs. Now, if we're talking handles, rods, wood, sticks or shafts, I'm your guy."

And there it was. That flush. It endeared her to him in ways he couldn't describe. He loved that he could make the unflappable detective blush. He stood and walked behind her. Pushing her and her chair back under her desk, he leaned down and asked, "Coffee?"

It wasn't to tease her. It was because he couldn't resist. She smelled divine. Always floral and fresh and feminine. He couldn't peg it exactly. There was jasmine, rose, magnolia and sometimes a hint of citrus—most of the time he thought it was grapefruit, but he wasn't sure. Of course, sometimes he smelled cherries, but most of the time he could narrow that to her shiny pink lip gloss. Sometimes there was baby powder—a smell that always reminded him of a sweet baby Alexis—and today, behind the floral, that's what she smelled like. Flowers and babies.

_Not safe thoughts_, Castle thought to himself. Thank God the boys couldn't read his mind. They'd never let him live it down. He could already hear the biological clock jokes. And Beckett! God, if she knew a thought like that had crossed his mind…she'd kill him! Yelling "Apples!" wouldn't bring him anywhere close to safety if _she_ could read _his_ mind. But that was true most of the time.

Although…she had been letting him get away with more lately. Little touches…and dancing with her. He was surprised he'd slept at all Saturday night. Castle returned to Beckett's side, handing her an espresso.

He was sitting there thinking about how different things were here versus outside the precinct. Here, they sat pretty much across from one another, whether at her desk or in the break room. Only in the interrogation room and occasionally in the conference when they were going through stacks and stacks of paper with the boys did they sit side by side. Unless, you counted sitting on her desk going over the murder board. _Okay_, Castle thought to himself, _so maybe we spend more time side by side here than I initially thought_—_but,_ _it _is _different outside the precinct_.

Here, they sat positioned in a way where they could keep an eye on one another—Castle for observation; Kate to be sure he wasn't causing trouble. Eye contact was just a matter of looking up. When they weren't here, though, they had a habit of sitting right next to one another. At Remy's, The Old Haunt, his place, her place—it didn't matter. That's why he'd been disappointed when he arrived to dinner on Saturday.

He'd been about fifteen minutes behind Kate, Lanie and Esposito. When he finally arrived, they'd already been seated, but they were at one of those square tables designed for one occupant at each edge. There was a side left open for him, next to Beckett, thankfully, and he'd taken it, but not before he ran his hand along the back of Kate's chair. He'd lightly scratched his fingers between her shoulder blades and almost tripped over his feet when she looked up at him and smiled.

When he sat down, he'd scooted his chair in, positioning himself a bit closer to her. He'd adjusted his legs until he found her knee with his own, and that's where he would have stayed. But he'd been sure she was pressing her knee into his, too, so much so, that he let his knee fall back to see if hers would follow. When it did, he could have somersaulted his way to the moon and back. He felt the same way he had the first time he'd successfully flirted with a girl and walked away with her number.

They'd played that game—footsie, but with knees—back and forth, no one the wiser, until Kate leaned forward and wrapped her lower leg around his. He wasn't willing to move and risk causing her to unlock her foot from where it was tucked around his ankle. So, they stayed like that throughout the rest of dinner. Each wore a self-satisfied smirk proclaiming victory. It was childish, he knew, but he loved this side of Kate…the side that caved to his thumb war challenges, monkeyshines and movie marathons.

Toward the end of dinner, Lanie had invited them all back to her place for cards or a movie. Castle hated to see the night end, and Kate seemed willing, but he knew he wouldn't be great company, so he declined. He'd been up since 3:30 to make the early morning taping at the studio.

"_Come on, Castle, the night is young!" Lanie teased._

"_Sorry, Dr. Parish. I was up way too early. Have to be up early tomorrow, too."_

_Kate raised her eyebrows at him, wondering. _

_Castle leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Soup kitchen. Traded weekends since we'll be camping next weekend."_

_Kate nodded, and smiled. "It's okay, Castle. They know I'm going camping with you and Alexis." _

"_Oh." _

_She'd asked Alexis and Castle not to say anything about it to the people she worked with. The captain knew only that she'd be out of town, and though she was sure he knew she would be with the Castles, he hadn't asked, and she hadn't said. Lanie, Esposito and Ryan knew, but they were friends._

_Kate looked pointedly at the other two. "I just don't want everyone else to know." _

Castle was fine with that, though—expected it even; both he and Alexis promised not to tell. He'd even expected Kate to have a story in place when everyone asked what her plans were, and she did. Castle smiled to himself thinking about earlier this morning when he'd kicked her off her desk so he could clean it. She was sitting in his chair, when Detective Koenig ask her what her plans were for her days off were.

"_Painting my apartment," Kate answered from the chair beside her desk._

"_Painting?" Koenig sounded suspicious. _

_Koenig was a bit of a jerk; jealous of Detective Beckett's track record and team lead status, Castle thought. Probably didn't help that he knew Kate had turned him down soon after he started at the 12__th__. _

"_Yes. Painting."_

"_And that takes two days?" _

"_I'm not sure. I've never hired a painter before, so I want to have time to make sure everything's down and covered before they get there on Friday."_

"_What color are you painting?" Koenig stood over her, arms folded. _

"_Why do you care?"_

"_Just curious."_

"_Blue."_

"_What color of blue?"_

"_Smokey blue—I think it's called Rivermist. It's Valspar paint. Do you want to see my receipt, too? Or maybe I should call and check in with you?"_

_Detective Koenig shook his head. "Bit odd that your days off just happen to coincide with Castle's camping trip, don't you think?"_

"_One, even if I were going with Castle, it wouldn't be any business of yours. Two, did it ever occur to you, _Detective_, that Castle here planned his camping trip around my days off?"_

_No response. He knew he hadn't won. _

"_Then will that be all, _Detective_?" Beckett stared him down, intimidating him even from where she sat._

"_Wonder how much he has in the pool?" Castle mused. "Nice cover, by the way." _

_Kate pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and slid it across her desk toward Castle. "I think you'll find my alibi checks out."_

_Castle looked at the receipt for paint. Part of him wanted to laugh, but he was too busy wondering how camping, or rather, camping with him, rated so low on the scale that it required an alibi. Not so good for the ego. _

_Kate watched his expression alter from happy to guarded while he returned stuff to its proper position on her desk. _

"_It's nothing to do with you, you know? It was just convenient. I've been meaning to take the upstairs walls from eggshell white to something softer and warmer for a while. Dad promised to help me, but we never got around to it. So, he's going to do it while we're away."_

_Castle smiled. "Blue, huh? Can't get enough of these orbs, can you Detective?"_

Finally!_ Kate thought. _The right words!_ And no, she wasn't going to tell him she'd been thinking of his eyes while looking at paint chips._

Kate looked up at Castle, wondering it was that had him so happy. Maybe he was just excited to be getting away for the weekend, like she was? But, he could do that easily, anytime he wanted to, so, maybe he was just as happy to have her join them as she was to be going along? She knew both he and Alexis were stoked about her joining them. In fact, Alexis had seemed more excited to have Kate along than her friends.

Kate was jolted a little then, when Castle's phone rang. _Alexis._

Kate wondered briefly if her "witchy powers" extended to conjuring up calls from Alexis? _Way too much time with Castle if she was starting to believe in magic…but she was, wasn't she?_

Kate listened to Castle's side of the conversation.

"What? No way!" He paused. "No, no! Give me the number." Castle leaned across her desk for a pen and a slip of paper. "I'll call him back right away."

Castle leapt into the observation room of Interrogation 2. Kate stared at the closed door, watching Castle nod and fist pump. How could a full-grown man run around like a little kid, but be focused enough to write twenty-some bestsellers?

"Yo, Beckett," Esposito called from across the room. "Got a body. St. John's Uni."

Beckett rose from her chair, telling the boys to grab Castle, but before Ryan could knock on the door, Castle came out, grabbed her wrist and starting pulling her toward the elevator.

"Come on," he said tugging harder, when she resisted. "We gotta go!" His eyes were wide and eager.

"I know. We've got a body."

"Body?"

"Yeah. You know? That thing we do here?"

"Oh," he stalled. "Can it wait?"

"'Can it wait?' he asks," Beckett said turning to Detectives Ryan and Esposito. "What do you think? Should we sit around here, wait for leads to go cold and evidence to come find us?"

"Oh, yeah, I think that would make our lives much easier," Ryan said.

"Maybe kick back, watch a little ESPN? Wait for our murderer to come confess? Dreamy." Esposito batted his eyelashes at the sky.

"We'll be like the Maytag repair man," Ryan quipped.

Kate stalked past Castle toward the elevator. ""'Can it wait?'" she huffed. When the elevators doors opened, the three stepped in. Seeing he wasn't right there with them, Kate blocked the doors from closing.

"You comin', Castle?"

Castle shifted on his heels. His brow furrowed. "Oh, uh, no."

Kate's hand dropped from the door. She was stunned. He'd never said "no" before.

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><p><strong>So, not my favorite chapter in this story, but some fun spots, I think. And it sets up the next chapter—which flew off my fingertips. (The first half, anyway—fingers crossed for the rest!) <strong>

**Would love to read your thoughts on this latest chapter, so please review!**


	40. Ch 40 Blimey!

**Because of the upcoming holiday weekend and because this is done (and I love it! and you!), I've decided just to go ahead and post this chapter. It's short and fun.**

**I hope you like it. :o)**

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><p>Chapter 40 – Blimey!<p>

Castle stopped in front of the conference room door and quickly surveyed the bullpen. The boys were at their desks, so he was sure Kate must be there, too. He grinned broadly when he saw her walk out of the captain's office. Then he remembered the body.

"Our vic?" he asked, causing her to look up at him.

Kate's eyes flitted between him, Alexis and the short man between them, unsure of whether to answer in front on this unknown party.

"Lanie ruled it a suicide at the scene. Just finished speaking with his family."

At the mention of Lanie, Alexis moved to Kate's desk. She grabbed Kate's phone, and prepped it to picture mode.

"So, you could use some cheering up?"

Kate set the file she'd been holding on her desk and walked closer to Castle and the shy looking old man in the tweed flat cap. Yeah, she was definitely curious about where he'd been and what he'd been doing.

"Yeah, I guess," Kate said, slowly and cautiously. She started to say something more, but Castle held his fingers out in front of her face in that same gesture he used when "feeding their birds." She was confused. Did he really want her to feed the birds?

She started to move her hand toward his, still watching his hand, when he twitched his fingers, and her mother's ring appeared!

It didn't even take Kate a moment to register what it was. Her hand flew to his, grabbing the ring, but she didn't stop her trajectory toward him. Her whole body was in his arms in a flash. She attacked him with such force that she almost hit her head on the doorjamb—and would have if Castle hadn't had the presence of mind to spin her away from it. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, squeezing him tightly.

Alexis sent the first picture to Lanie. _**Get up here, now! Dad just gave Kate a ring!**_

"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" she repeated into his neck, just loud enough for him to make out what she was saying. She kissed his cheek and squeezed him harder. Then she was struggling to get out of his arms to look at him.

"Thank you!" she said again when she could see his eyes. Then she kissed his cheek and was hugging him again.

Castle had known she'd be happy. Thrilled even, but he hadn't anticipated such a…physical response, especially not in the middle of the bullpen. They'd drawn a crowd. Captain Montgomery had come out of his office upon hearing her squeal. The boys were standing next to him, and he knew there were people behind him from when he'd spun her around.

Kate pulled back again and turned to her right. The first person she saw was the captain, so she hugged him, too. Kissed _his_ cheek for good measure. It was so shocking a display from Beckett that it took the captain a moment to register that his detective was hugging him. By that time, Beckett was pulling back beginning to realize what she'd done.

Embarrassed, she pulled back uttering, "Uh, Sorry, Sir," but then she glanced at the ring clasped between her thumb and forefinger.

"What the hell?" she grinned. "No, I'm not." She launched forward, hugging him again, only this time he was ready for it. He hugged her back, laughing with the rest of the crowd.

Over her shoulder, he told Castle, "I don't know what the hell you're doing, but keep doing it!"

Beckett laughed and turned to Ryan and Esposito, gripping them to her in a three way hug. "He found my ring," she said to no one in particular, sounding totally incredulous. She had despaired over losing it. She had given up hope of finding it almost immediately, and now here it was, clutched in her hand because of Castle.

"Who found it?" Ryan asked.

Kate's head snapped up. "Who found it?" Beckett asked, turning back to Castle.

He'd been regarding her with awe. Watching this moment play out was far sweeter than he'd imagined. He would never get over seeing Detective Kate Beckett so excited that she was literally prancing. Her tough exterior had deserted her today, in the middle of the precinct—not to tragedy, but to pure, unadulterated joy. She might kill him later, when she realized, but it would be totally worth it.

"He found it." He nodded to the short man in the tweed flat cap. The man's head only reached Castle's armpits.

"He found it?" Beckett asked looking at the man. Her excitement had addled her thought process. She found herself unable to do much more than repeat what was spoken to her.

"Ay."

"Hi."

"Detective Beckett, allow me to introduce Seamus O'Daly. Married 41 years to Eileen O'Daly, whom he met in his hometown of County Cork. They have two sons. He's a former fishmonger and lives with his son and grandson over near Nelson Park."

Castle paused and held up Kate's hand, unwrapping her fingers from around the ring. "He's also the locator of this little thing, found the same day we lost it."

"How'd you—?"

"When his grandson came home from school, he helped him post a found ad on Craigslist. I've had a search alert set up for a while now. He left a message at home, Alexis called and here we are."

Kate focused all of her attention on the bashful man in front of her. "Thank you. Just…thank you. You have no idea what this means to me. I don't know how to thank you."

Kate suddenly thought of the reward and how was she ever going to pay Castle back? _$10,000! _Her eyes flew to meet his. Castle understood immediately.

"He wouldn't accept the reward," Castle whispered in her ear. "I finally got him to accept a thousand to help his grandson out with school expenses, but he wouldn't agree to more. I knew you wouldn't believe me, so I convinced him to come down here with me. He's an incredibly interesting man—great stories, but stubborn."

Kate turned to the man. "Please, would you accept the same from me?"

"Nigh, yer a lovely lass. 'Tis enough ta see yer smile."

"At least, let me take you to lunch? Do something for you?"

The man didn't answer her. Instead he looked at Castle. "Yer gerl's right deadly, lad. Ay kin see why yer smitten. Wouldja mind eef Ay ausk 'er fer a wee pòg?"

Castle laughed and shook his head. Kate looked at Castle in wonder. The gentleman's accent was so thick; on top of this, he was quiet and talking directly to Rick, not her. She had no idea what he'd said.

Castle, not wanting to embarrass the man, whispered in Kate's ear again. "He'd like a kiss." Kate's eyes widened in surprise, and Castle felt her arm tense a bit. "A peck on the cheek will do. We don't want to give him a heart attack!"

Kate looked at the gentleman, who'd removed his hat and was twisting it in his hands. She leaned down a little and draped her arms around his frail shoulders. She kissed his cheek as she did so, and thanked him again.

The older man blushed furiously, but patted her hand and said, "Bless yer 'art. Ay bes be a'goween now. Me boy's a'waiteen, an I doan wan ta be a'keepin' ya from yer werk. Ay'm gladjya fown djyer reeng."

Kate looked at Rick again. She'd caught most of it, but not all of it.

"His son is holding a cab downstairs. He's glad you found your ring."

"At least let me give you cab fare?"

"Taken care of." Castle assured her.

Kate pulled out her card. "If there's ever _anything_ I can do for you, please call me. Anything."

"Ay. Tanks missy." He kissed the back of Kate's hand. He turned to Castle to shake his hand. "T'was a pleasure, Sur. Take car'a yer gerl 'ere." He turned and shuffled toward the elevator.

Kate watched him transfixed for a moment. Then she grabbed Castle's hand, and started dragging him in the same direction. He thought for a moment they were going to get on the elevator and ride down with the man and paused his feet there, but Kate kept going, still with her hands clasped around his arm. She pushed open the stairwell door, drew them through it, and impatiently pushed it closed behind them.

When the door closed, she positioned Rick in front of the skinny security window so no one could see in. He was more than tall and broad enough to block any curious onlookers' views. She leaned her forearms into him, hands at his chest, elbows digging into his abdomen. Then suddenly, her energy escaped out of her hands and she started quickly slapping his chest, one hand after the other, shaking her head back and forth like a wet dog, until Castle began to shrink away from her.

"Ouch, geez, Beckett."

She grinned. "Ya big baby," she teased, but she stopped hitting him. She still looked like she was about to burst.

"What are we doing?"

Kate began to jump straight up and down from where she stood in front of Rick. He watched her like one would watch a bouncing ball.

"We've got to run, Castle."

"Run?"

"Run." She grabbed the rail and jumped down four or five steps. Then she jumped again, and again until she was at the landing where the steps turned back toward them, but went down to the next level.

"Kate, please stop. You're in heels. You're gonna bust your ankle."

Kate ran back up the stairs toward him.

"Castle, I think I need to go home. Go for a run."

"Got some pent-up energy, huh?"

"_No_," Kate replied facetiously. "How are you so calm? I mean I know it's my ring, but…you normally act like you chugged a Red Bull. I'm outta my element here."

"Well, I already did my cartwheels." Castle put his arm around a still shifty and fidgeting Beckett's shoulders. Kate leaned into him, letting her head rest on his shoulder. "And I may have girly-screamed like one of my fans on the sidewalk and scared a young girl, but no matter what Alexis says, I did _not_ hurl her into oncoming traffic while flagging down a taxi."

Kate chuckled, her entire tense body shaking with her laugh. Castle brought his other hand up to her shoulder.

"You know, I know a good way to deal with pent-up energy. Got a good release for it."

"Yeah?" she asked with amusement in her voice. Castle began to rub her shoulders. Kate sighed and wrapped her arms around his waist. She lifted her head to rest her cheek on his shoulder. She adjusted slightly until she was leaned fully into his embrace.

Castle rubbed and kneaded the knots from her shoulders and the long muscles in her back. Kate grunted in satisfaction.

"My God, Kate. You're so tight."

Kate tee-heed at his unintended innuendo.

"It's like I'm Marty McFly transported to teen Beckett."

Kate shifted in his arms and pressed her body into him a little more. "I can't help it, Castle," she taunted. "It just feels _so_ good." The hands that were clasped together behind his back were now splayed across it, softly prodding the muscles and tender tissue of his lower back.

Castle's thumbs and palms were loosening the tendons in her neck. Kate trailed her left hand around his side and up his chest.

Castle adjusted his hold on her and used his thumbs to roll her head back, so he could meet her eyes. "You need to stop," he said, the joking they'd been enjoying still evident in his eyes. But the playfulness in Kate's voice wasn't reflected in her eyes.

Kate felt warmer. She could feel his warm breath on her face. His thumbs were caressing her jaw, though he didn't seem to be aware of it. His lips were so near; his eyes so grey. Maybe she stopped breathing for a moment when her hand met the warm skin under his open collar. She felt the pulse at the base of his neck speed up. Hers was already racing.

They were drawing nearer one another and, for the moment, all Kate was focused on was feeling his lips on hers. She wanted to savor the delicious sweetness of him. She felt his arms clench around her shoulders and then the distance between them was increasing. _Wait? What? Why?_

Castle nodded slightly to the stairs, then she registered the noise in the stairwell. She jumped and removed her hand from the back of Castle's neck, but she didn't move away from him. Instead, she tipped her head up and kissed his cheek, very near his ear, making him wonder if the kiss he'd thought was going to happen was ever really going to happen, or if it had just been wishful thinking on his part?

Kate stayed there, arms wrapped around the man who'd come to mean everything to her. She did not want to let him go. The bliss and energy that had her bounding from person to person came crashing around her. Instead, she felt the weight of her emotions, but they were made bearable just by being with him.

Kate realized she was opening herself up to the same hurt she'd been experiencing since she was 19. _More hurt._ She wasn't running from it, but how does one prepare for that? How do you survive it? How do you embrace the kind of heartache that you know you can't recover from?

The person making the noise in the stairwell appeared on the landing. "It's Lanie," Castle said quietly, still holding her.

He expected Kate to move, but she stayed. Half-way up to them, Lanie realized someone was standing there. Castle grinned at her.

"Castle!" Lanie screeched. "Did you propose to my girl without me there?"

Kate spun around saying "What?"—a sentiment that was perfectly and loudly echoed by Castle.

"Lanie! No!"

"You texted me."

"No."

"Yes. I get a text saying Castle gave you a ring with a picture of you two happy and hugging and I finally get up here to find you two still hugging and you're telling me 'no'?"

"What?"

"Look." Lanie held out her phone.

"Wait. Dad? Alexis?" She looked up at Castle, who was looking over her shoulder.

"Oh, she is so grounded!"

"So you didn't propose?"

"No!"

"God, Lanie! Listen. Look!" Kate held out her hand with the ring.

"You gave her a ring? But you didn't propose?"

"Yeah, I don't think…Josh…not dating…mother's."

"He found it." Kate smiled at Castle. "I never thought…"

"So Alexis?"

"Is so dead. Castle, we are totally bringing Ashley in on this."

"And she's got four days of straight of us."

"She's not gonna know what hit her. She's goin' down."

"Like a kamikaze on crack."

Kate rolled her eyes.

"That girl made me run up five flights of stairs! She's gonna have to deal with me first!"

"Come on, Lanie," Kate said pulling open the door Castle had been blocking. "Castle will fill you in how I kissed the captain and a little 'ol Irishman."

* * *

><p><strong>My husband wisked me away for a romantic, do-nothing weekend last weekend and it shows! <strong>

**That's not a weird way of saying I'm preggers, just HAPPY! And relaxed! And sharing the love!**

**Feel free to do the same…review?**


	41. Ch 41 Accord

**This chapter exists for the conversations. Some subtle, but important points follow.**

**Enjoy. The time for this one was hard won, but it's long to make up for it!**

_Recap (these were requested): Lanie just found Castle and Beckett hugging in the stairwell. She interrupted a maybe kiss. Kate didn't back away from Castle though, and Alexis sent Lanie a text to make her believe Castle had proposed when, really, he'd just returned Kate's mother's ring._

* * *

><p>Chapter 41 – Accord<p>

"Alexis Harper Castle!" Detective Kate Beckett's voice sounded through the bullpen just as soon as she rounded the half-glass partition.

"You little maggot!" Castle hissed at his daughter. "Are you trying to get me killed?"

"Nuh-uh," Lanie said, "she's mine."

_Uh-oh._ Alexis' eyes widened in surprise.

Kate and her father weren't a threat. Her dad was, well, her dad, and really, if it hadn't been for him, where would she have learned such a trick? It was his own fault, really. And Kate? She was an NYPD homicide detective. _She couldn't kill her._ Lanie, though? Lanie…maybe she shouldn't have messed with Lanie.

Lanie bodily dragged Alexis away from the boys and toward the small conference room.

"Whoa, Chica, what's going on?"

Lanie didn't answer. She just shut the door behind them. Castle, Beckett, Ryan and Esposito all watched from the outside as Lanie's angry hands motioned "crazy," "jogging," "proposal" and general agitation. To, Alexis' credit, she didn't run away and she didn't cower.

Beckett laughed when she watched Alexis raise her hand. When Lanie paused to give Alexis permission to speak, Alexis pulled out her phone. She said something to the ME, smiled conspiratorially and showed the agitated woman something on her phone. Lanie pulled the phone from Alexis' hands, then turned to glare at Kate.

Kate glared back, but now she was the one feeling uncomfortable. She risked a glance at Castle, only to find he'd turned to her as well. The question hung between them, each wondering what it was? When they turned back to Alexis and Lanie, they were smiling and shaking hands.

While they stood there watching, Castle whispered out of the side of his mouth to Beckett. "Why do I feel like she just made a deal with the devil?"

"Which one?"

Castle only grunted in response.

When the two came out, Castle put his arm around Alexis shoulders and drew her in.

"You know we're taking up the gauntlet with full vigor, right?"

"Ah, Mr. Micawber," Alexis put on with her best British accent. "Find yourself in need of job?"

"No," her father responded, "But it is best not to let one's debts go unpaid."

"And we definitely owe you," Kate promised with a wry, closed-lip smile.

Beckett's ears perked to the conversation going on beside her. She caught enough to know that the boys were concerned that Lanie now had "insider knowledge." _Great_, she thought. This—whatever "this" was—coupled with the team-contained knowledge that she actually would be spending the weekend with the Castles meant their friends would be doubling down on the snoopiness. _Oh, well, _Kate thought. _I won't be here for them to scrutinize or interrogate. Let them wonder…and waste their money!_

"Kate, you got a minute?" Lanie asked.

"Oh, nope," Kate said, turning to punch her monitor off. "Running late. Gotta go." Though curious, she refused to give Lanie the satisfaction. _Let her wonder—I've got Alexis all weekend!_

"You're not running late," Lanie replied indignantly. "You're starting vacation. You don't _need_ to be anywhere."

"Sorry, Lanie. Have fun, Gentleman." Kate handed a file over to Ryan. "Captain signed the file transfer request. Call me if anything pops or if we catch a body—I want to be kept in the loop."

"You got it, Boss."

"Kate, come on," Lanie begged. "I need your opinion."

"Sorry, Lanie," Kate smiled a fake, knowing smile and shrugged unapologetically.

Castle backed her up. "Lunch reservations," he lied. "You know. Gotta go." He put his hand at the small of Kate's back and ushered the two toward the elevator.

Her crew echoed "byes" and "have funs" and as the stepped past Karpowski's desk she called, "See ya later! Have fun camping!"

"We will," the trio chorused. Kate realized her mistake immediately. It showed only in her flaming cheeks which, thankfully, were covered by long hair and a sudden fascination with the precinct's flooring. If it weren't for the unanticipated pause and trip-step in her normally smooth and confident stride—causing Castle to stumble as well—and Alexis' head whipping back to stare at her, she could have passed it off as a cursory, meaningless response or pretended no one heard her above the Castles' own responses. But, she did trip.

Thankfully, the elevator was at their floor. When the doors closed, Kate was just barely inside the elevator. Castle collapsed on the back wall, biting his knuckles. Alexis stood in the corner, concerned over Kate's reaction.

"Look at you!" Castle gasped, nearly doubled over. Kate was alternating from ghostly white to bright pink. She was obviously concentrating very hard—either counting or attempting to breathe. Castle wasn't sure. "You look like you can't decide whether to be happy, mad or just really, really embarrassed."

Kate hadn't moved from her spot in the elevator. She brought her hands up to hide her face, and noticed again her mother's ring, secured over her thumb. She knew it was ridiculous to feel so strongly over a ring—it was just a thing—an object, but she still felt incredible elation over its return.

Kate's smile grew into one of genuine happiness and affection.

"No, Castle," she responded, lifting her head to meet his eyes. "I'm happy. _So_ happy. Thank you."

Hearing that, Castle put his arms out. Kate almost laughed at the hopeful look on his face, but she couldn't deny him. Truthfully, she couldn't deny herself.

Castle wrapped his arms around Kate's shoulders. He couldn't believe his luck. This made, what? Three, maybe four times, depending on how you counted that he'd had Beckett in his arms today. He hadn't wanted to let her go in the stairwell, and he'd been even more pleased when Kate didn't seem to want to leave his embrace. She'd stayed in his arms, not caring that Lanie would harass her about it later and not attempting to move. _'Til Lanie ruined it with that proposal talk. Grrr Lanie. Grrr Alexis. Though…it was kind of funny._

Kate reached out and pulled Alexis into their hug, kissing her forehead. "Thanks, Lex."

Kate squeezed them to her tightly, and felt both Castle and Alexis reciprocate. After a moment, Alexis leaned back, pretending to check the time, but really just wanting to see her dad's face. Kate stayed, and didn't move until the elevator jerked to a stop.

When the elevator doors opened, Castle and Beckett were standing beside one another, as close as they normally did, but with no sign that they'd been much closer only a moment earlier. It made Alexis wonder how close the two were when no one else was around.

* * *

><p>Lunch had been a bit hurried, as Castle was excited to get to the "Outdoor Store" as he called it. He'd simply pulled out his phone and found something with good reviews on Yelp or some other app he had on his phone. It was just another way Castle expanded her horizons. He was always up for trying something new.<p>

She'd been blindly following Castle while talking with Alexis when they walked in, so she still wasn't sure what exactly the store was called, but she was surprised that she'd never been there before. The "Outdoor Store" was three stories of everything you could possibly imagine for outdoor sporting and recreation activities. Kayaks hung from the ceiling along with skis and snowshoes. Among others, there were sections for clothing, shoes, sporting equipment, hunting, camping, biking and scuba diving. You name it, they had it. They even had a center for equipment repair—including an ice skates sharpening center, a tidbit she filed away for winter.

"Where should we start, Ladies?" Castle asked.

"I say we start with the essentials," Alexis said, pulling out her list.

_My kind of girl_, Kate thought. "That's fine, but I do want to head up to women's clothes to see if they have any shorts that actually fit."

The two gave her an odd look, wondering how she couldn't find shorts that fit, but she only had a few pairs of shorts she would actually wear out in public—one pair of jean shorts and two pairs of Bermuda shorts.

With her long legs, most shorts left her feeling indecent or like she should be standing on the corner of 28th and Lexington. That's why her summer wardrobe consisted of a lot of skirts. She wasn't sure what the difference was; she could wear a skirt—of any length—and feel fine, but most shorts left her feeling from classy.

"'Kay," Alexis replied. "Me, too."

"So, what are the essentials?" Kate asked, following Castle to the camping gear section.

"Well, since your dad has a tent we can use, we just need one more for us girls. We need another cooler, another table cover, a couple more camp chairs. Dad wants to get a game. And we need more hobo pie makers."

"Hobo whaters?"

Castle stopped short and looked at her. "I thought you'd been camping before?"

"I _have_," Kate stressed. "But keep in mind…the last time I went camping, Alexis would have been what? Five?" She nudged Alexis. "How's that for perspective? Now I feel old!"

"So you've never had a hobo pie?" Alexis asked.

"I don't even know what you're talking about. I've had a _moon_ pie. Nasty, by the way."

"They're not nasty."

Kate rolled her eyes. "'Course _you_ wouldn't think so." He'd eat anything, so long as it wasn't pickled.

"So, who's going to fill me in? What's a hobo pie?"

Castle grabbed Kate's arm and drug her through the camping aisles until he found the cookware. He explained as he went.

"A hobo pie isn't any one thing. It's more about the tool." He reached out and grabbed something, and held it out to her. "It's like a cast iron Panini press suitable for making all sorts of things over the fire: grilled cheese, pizza pockets, eggs, sausage, toast—all sorts of stuff. We also make pies with them. Two slices of bread with pie filling. My favorites are cherry with bits of chocolate and apple with cheddar cheese."

"Mine's peaches with marshmallows."

"Hmm…sounds…convenient."

"Convenient?" Castle questioned her. "All that, and the best you can come up with is convenient?"

"With six teenagers—all of whom can be responsible for making their own meals? Genius."

Castle pulled out his phone.

"Dad, what are you doing?"

"Marking this on my calendar—the day Detective Kate Beckett called me a genius."

"I didn't call you a genius. Whoever created these whatchamacallits is the genius."

"No take backs."

"I don't have to. I didn't say it."

"I'm going to pick out a tent. You coming, Kate?"

"Yes, you did."

"You need to clean out your ears."

"You just don't want to admit it. You upgraded from 'these will be convenient' to 'Castle, you're a genius."

"You're delusional."

"I'm right. But, of course, you already know that. I _am _a genius, after all."

"I'm going to help Alexis go pick out a tent." With that, Kate pushed past Castle to find Alexis, leaving him to fill the cart.

Kate didn't find Alexis near the tents, so she grabbed traditional red and white checked table cover and a pack of table clips. When she met up with Castle and Alexis again, they had collapsible camp chairs set up down the whole aisle and into the main one. They were testing them all, discussing the merits of adjustable arm rests, foot rests, rocking chairs and cup holders.

Kate shook her head and threw her stuff in the cart. She leaned against the shelf and watched the two of them. When they saw her, they insisted she help them pick.

"Fine." Kate eyed the chairs. She found one with a high back, arm rests and a cup holder and sat down. "I like this one."

"Ah, but the question, my dear Detective, is, 'Is that chair better than this one or that one?'" he said nodding to another chair.

"It doesn't matter, Castle. If you've already found what you like, what you want, what's the point of continuing to look?"

"What if there's something better?"

Castle's comment unsettled her. "What if there's not? How do you know when to stop looking? We could be here all day."

"I guess that's why we're all trying them, seeking accord. As for me, I've tried enough to know which one I want."

"And which one is that?"

"The one you're sitting in."

"See? I do have good taste."

Castle grabbed two chairs in the style they liked, while Alexis threw in her picks—a lounge style chair and a loveseat chair—a twofer she'd claimed, fooling no one.

"Why don't you two go look at clothes like you wanted while I check this stuff out and make a few trips to the car?"

After double checking to make sure Castle didn't need or want assistance, Kate headed up to the third floor with Alexis. They looked around at tees, tanks and shirts. Kate debated over a new bathing suit, but after learning from Alexis that there was only a river near where they were staying, no lake, she decided against it. She liked to be in the water, and she could swim, but she hated to be cold—especially after the freezer—and rivers always seemed colder.

Kate found some shorts to try on and was thrilled to find a pair of sporty looking board shorts. They weren't as long and formal looking as her Bermuda shorts and they were more comfortable than her jean shorts. They were the perfect length—and she didn't look like a porn star on stilts.

"Hey, Lex, what do you think?" She asked as they each stepped out of the dressing room. Alexis was trying on a new tennis outfit.

"Looks great. Now all you need is a surf board—maybe a henna tattoo, and you'd fit right in with my cousins. 'Cept they're blonde. Did I tell you they're coming for the 4th? You'll get to meet them. My grandparents are bringing them. They all live in Santa Monica, but I haven't seen them since last summer. My cousin Lacey is going to start at Stanford next fall, same as Ashley." Kate watched as Alexis' smile faded.

"Hey, you still have all summer, not to mention, if you're cousin's going to be at Standford and you have family not too far away—imagine how much easier it'll be to go visit."

"I know."

"But you'll still miss him."

"I just don't want to be away from him, you know? What if something happens? Or..."

"He meets someone else?"

Alexis shrugged.

"Are you really worried about that?"

"Well, you know, if I'm not there…and someone else is…"

"There are no guarantees, but Ashley's not like that, and, if he were, he wouldn't be worth worrying your pretty little head over."

"Logically, and in my heart, I know that, but…I'm still going to miss him and I'm still going to wish he was here or I were there. How do you do it? You know, with Josh gone all the time? Don't you miss him?"

Kate knew what the answer should be after being with someone so long, but she also knew the truth—several truths, really. One was that she never really missed Josh when he was gone, not in any way that mattered. That's why he was gone, or would be gone, when he got back—even though that thought made little sense. Another was that she missed Castle even on days when he simply showed up later than normal. But, there was no way to explain that to Alexis without giving away the truths that she was keeping closely guarded.

"I, um…" Kate had no idea what she wanted to say.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. Too personal." Alexis started to turn away.

"No, Lex," Kate stopped her with a hand on her arm. "I've told you before. You can ask me anything—even if it's personal, and I'll always be honest with you. But sometimes, I don't know the answers and sometimes…I don't think the answers are what you want to hear."

"What is it this time?"

"A combination of not knowing the answer and fearing you'd think less of me."

"You know that would never happen, right?"

"It could."

Alexis looked at her hard. "Okay, you're right. It could…but it won't."

Kate wished she could be so sure. There were things that she could do that she knew would hurt the red-headed teen she'd become so fond of, but, there was one thing she knew for sure: she would never knowingly do anything to hurt Alexis. The teen's unwavering confidence gave Kate hope that maybe she could pull it together and be what they wanted her to be. What she wanted to be.

"The truth is, Lex, that you can't compare you and Ashley to Josh and me. There is no comparison. You guys are fresh and young and idealistic—and I'm not saying that as a bad thing—but you have no reason to be skeptical of your ability to exist as a couple. Josh and I exist primarily as separate entities, with lots of baggage and different priorities."

She wanted to tell Alexis that, though they were each moving forward, their paths rarely crossed and they'd never be on the same path. But, again, this was something that Josh needed to know first.

Her answer seemed to satisfy Alexis because she smiled and was joking with Kate through the changing room walls in no time.

"So, are you getting the outfit?" Kate asked.

"I'm going to get the skirt. But, I already have couple shirts that would match—so rather than this court tank, I think I'll just grab a new sports bra. Boobs suck."

Kate laughed. She remembered a time when she'd felt that way. She'd been younger than Alexis, though. "Yeah, it's better when they settle into a size, but," Kate said, winking at the girl, "I'm sure Ash disagrees with your assessment."

Alexis blushed furiously, and turned from Kate to look through the racks for a size and style she liked.

Kate was browsing through the items on a nearby table when something caught her eye. She stopped to pick it up. There was a shirt with a metallic colorful fish—it looked like the Rainbow Fish in the books they read to Lanie's niece. It read "Kiss my bass!" Kate found this rather amusing, but when she glanced over and saw a pair of white boy-style underwear with pink trim featuring the same colorful fish and the "Kiss my bass" line, she decided to show Alexis. No one else was around, so she held them up.

"Hey, Lex," she said spinning around.

She was greeted by one Richard Castle. His red-headed daughter was nowhere in sight.

Castle took in the panties Kate was holding up and the mounting blush on the detective's face. He raised his eyebrow at her. Kate quickly put her arms down still clutching the panties.

She watched as Castle took a step toward her. He brought his fingers up to his lips and kissed them. Kate didn't want to watch him tease her by blowing her a kiss, so she turned to put the underwear back where she'd found them. Then, before she could even think properly, Castle swung his arm down and slapped her ass. He groped her tightly as he brushed by her whispering, "Gladly, Detective." Then he was gone.

Kate sucked in a breath and bit her lip as she watched him walk away. She still felt warm from his nearness and his husky voice had done things to her that a man's voice alone shouldn't do. She sifted through the stack of underwear for a pair in her size. They totally weren't her style, and she'd probably never wear them—but they were her new favorite panties.

* * *

><p>They were almost to her dad's. Even though her dad had lived in Beckett family home for seven years, she still thought of it as her grandparents' place. It was a little over an hour north of the city, but right on the way to their destination.<p>

Kate felt a little nervous as she pulled Castle's car onto her grandparent's street. They were making a pit stop there to pick up some of Kate's things, another cooler and some fishing gear. She hadn't told Castle, but her father and grandmother had also planned an early lunch for the crew.

They'd agreed last night that Kate would drive the girl's in Castle's car. She and Alexis picked up Paige and her cousin, Devyn. Alexis and Paige spent the car ride shuffling through the music on Kate's iPod to see if there was anything they wanted. Devyn spent the entire ride staring out the window, with her Bose buds buried in her ears. Kate wouldn't admit it to anyone, but she'd taken an immediate dislike to the girl and suspected it was mutual.

It had started with a "seatbelts" command from her and inaction on Devyn's part. Kate had eyed her through the rearview mirror.

"I'm 17 and in the backseat, so it's optional."

"Trust me. I know the law." Kate fought the lowering, tight smile that she used on suspects, and tried for a lighter tone. "Car doesn't move until everyone is buckled up. My car, my rules." _Okay, so it wasn't her car._

She'd sensed Devyn's desire to snub her even before, as she was helping the girls load their stuff into the trunk. Thankfully, Castle had left it pretty bare, joking that girls always over-pack. She hadn't, but these girls? Definitely over-packed.

Kate pulled into a short, paved drive, leaving Castle to park the Ford Explorer he'd rented in front of the Beckett home. Her father must have been waiting for them because he was coming out the front door immediately. Kate left the girls, and went to greet her father while the boys clamored out of the SUV and bee-lined for the girls.

"Hey, Dad," Kate said hugging her father. He stopped hugging her all too soon, and was welcoming Alexis into his arms.

Kate again wondered about this family. _Huggers._ That didn't surprise her anymore. But then, it was her dad who was holding out his arms for Alexis. _What is going on here?_ They'd only met once.

She looked over at Castle, curious as to what he'd think about seeing this part of her life. He stood there hands in his pockets, admiring the house. The street wasn't crowded with homes, but it was obviously a nice neighborhood where people took care to make a nice impression. The Beckett house was quite large, with an oversized two-car garage and a roof that pitched steeply upward in four different spots. The ground floor exterior was brick, while the second floor had traditional Tudor-styling with dark half-timbering contrasting with the white stucco.

When Castle turned to look at her, she smiled, but was embarrassed that both he and her father caught her staring at him.

"Oh, I have something for you," Alexis said, warmly. She dug into the bag she carried over her shoulder. She pulled out a large Ziploc bag of cookies.

"You made him cookies?" Kate asked, still wondering. She'd talked a lot about Alexis, but...those looked like _his_ favorites. Then she remembered mentioning it when they first met. The night she first met Sheryl; _oh, that horribly cloudy night_.

Alexis nodded. "Oatmeal scotchies. They're your favorites, right?"

Jim eyes were alit. This sweet girl had made him cookies. He was already digging into the bag.

"Mmm. These are delicious," he said, bending in exaggerated form toward Kate. "Rival your grandmother's for sure." He offered one to Kate. They were good.

"We're keeping her, right?" Kate laughed. It wasn't that long ago Lanie had asked her the same thing.

"Yeah, we're keeping her. Might have to arm wrestle Castle for her, but I can totally take him."

Castle made a face at her. "Way to make me feel manly, Beckett."

"Well, if you're good, Castle, maybe I'll let you build the fire."

Castle quirked his eyebrows at her and smirked. "Maybe, I—" He stopped at seeing Jim's narrowed eyes, daring him to finish that thought. "Will shut up now."

He saw Beckett standing behind her father lips pursed in an amused smirk. "Good choice, Dad," Alexis said.

"So, Miss Alexis," Jim asked, "which of these fine looking gentlemen is _your _boyfriend?" He didn't take his eyes off Rick as he spoke. Jim knew Castle would hate the boyfriend, just like he used to. And, though he liked Rick and knew he didn't need to remind him to respect his daughter, he hadn't had the opportunity to intimidate a suitor in a long time. His intent wasn't lost on Castle, who swallowed hard.

_Fine looking gentlemen? Why wasn't she getting the third-degree about boys? _Kate was trying to figure out when her father had mellowed. Alexis took both him and Kate over to meet her friends.

"And this is Kyle," Alexis said, gesturing to a boy with sandy brown hair about Ashley's height, trying to pull off the skinny jeans and knit cap look. Kate knew this was also Paige's boyfriend.

"And this is Ajax, Ashley's best friend." He was a good looking kid. Based on the shoes, shorts and sleeveless shirt, Kate was going to guess: basketball player. Plus, he was tall—about Castle's height—if not taller.

"Ajax?" Jim asked.

"It's really Alex Jackson, Sir," the boy said shaking each of their hands and smiling, "but we already have an Alex in our class and it just stuck."

They talked for a few minutes before Kate asked, "Is Babi home?"

Castle thought she said "Bobby," and wondered if he was family or a friend. "I want to introduce Castle."

"I don't think so, but why don't you go check?" Jim invited the kids inside, asking Alexis to help him put the finishing touches on lunch.

Kate took Castle's hand and started leading him across the yard. "Come on, Castle." She turned back to him and smiled. "I want you to meet my babushka."

_That will never get old_, Castle thought. S_eeing her smile._ Then, what she said caught up with him.

"Hold on," Castle said stopping her, "your grandmother lives right next door?"

"I told you my parents were next door neighbors, that they grew up together." Kate said looking puzzled.

"I know," Caslte said. "I just didn't think you meant it so…_literally_." They continued walking. "So, your dad really _did _marry the girl next door. That's so—"

"Sweet?" Kate suggested, not wanting him to ruin it with something stupid.

"Sweet, yes. Very Peter Parker meets Mary Jane."

"It gets even better, Castle," Kate said, leading him between the two houses. She pointed up to a window on the second floor of her grandmother's brick home.

"My mother's room." Then she drug her hand across the sky and pointed to a directly across from it on the Tudor-style home. "And my dad's."

"No way."

"Way."

"That's so…"

"_Something About Mary_?"

Castle laughed. "Well, let's hope not." Castle thought for a moment, following Beckett. "But here's what I don't get. I see you standing here, with that look on your face. I know you believe in love and know that it can last, and want that…but what is this then, if not fate?"

"They still had to work at it Castle. They still had to choose to be together."

"But you don't think they were destined to be together? Even with all this evidence?"

"I'm glad they chose to be together, but the 'girl next door' could have just as easily been the girl across the street."

"But it wasn't. And yes, they could have chosen other people, but it wouldn't have worked because they were destined for one another. Soul mates."

"If they were soul mates, why's my dad with Sheryl? Why'd he sleep with other women after Mom died? Those are choices, Castle."

"It doesn't mean your mom was strictly a choice."

Kate shook her head. She was in awe of his confidence. He never hesitated to believe in the fantastic—hell, his zombie and alien theories were proof of that.

Truthfully, she'd always put what was between her parents on a pedestal, and she was secretly pleased that he did, too. It was up there with the unicorns, Chimera and fairies. It seemed unreal and unattainable. Until recently. Because how else would she explain whatever force propelled her toward Castle? Why else would he be on the periphery of every thought, every emotion—even when she didn't want him there? She knew it took work, too, but maybe there was something to Castle's postulation.

"Come on, Castle. You can convince me over a campfire. For now, my babi."

Her grandmother wasn't home yet, so Kate led Castle back to the garage to help her get stuff down. Her father had already set out most of it, but she still needed the fishing poles, which were lying across the rafters, the tackle box and she was planning to borrow a few other tools.

Castle was inspecting something on Jim's workbench.

"Dad's into woodworking," she called over her shoulder.

Castle decided to let the first comment that came to his head about "woodworking" go. "It looks like a dollhouse."

"Huh?"

"A dollhouse."

"Oh, he makes things for people sometimes, since he retired. He's even got an online store for people to order from."

"I tried making Alexis a dollhouse once. Failed miserably. About the fifth time I cut myself with a grout saw—something I'd never seen or heard of until then—and that I still wasn't sure how to make shingles with, I quit. Went to eBay and ordered the most elaborate looking dollhouse I could find. She hated it."

"That's your first mistake, then, Son." Jim said, walking into the garage.

Kate's head whipped around. _Son?_

"Grout saws aren't meant for shingle-making."

"Useful information six years ago."

"You tried making her a dollhouse when she was ten, eleven years old? No wonder she hated it."

"Hey!"

"You kept the dollhouse I made you—you know, 'til it was blown up."

"Yeah, but you made it…and you gave it to me when I was four. It had sentimental value. When I was 10, I wanted a pony."

"Don't remind me."

"Tell, you what Rick. If she wants a pony, get it for her. It will save you years of heartache and worry."

"Yeah, we already skipped to Vespa."

"I'm glad you realize you should have gone with the pony, Dad."

"You know, if it's still a sticking point, I did offer to buy you a pony."

"Right, Castle. But then, wouldn't my bike be jealous?"

"Please tell me you're not still riding that thing. I gave you a car."

"Only for fun, Dad."

"Can't you do something about this, Rick?"

"Me? What am I going to do about it? She doesn't even let me drive!"

"She will," he said under his breath, on his way to the door. "Lunch is ready."

"'Kay, Dad," Kate said, adjusting the ladder. "We'll be right there."

"Here, Rick." She said handing down the first of the fishing poles. The other two were tangled in the fishing net. No response. She knew full well that he was doing. She didn't really mind, but she had to keep him on his toes.

"Castle! You better not be staring at my ass!"

She was greeted by "Ekaterina" and her grandmother's Russian, telling her to watch her language. Kate came down the ladder, looking sheepish, but smiling all the same.

"Сожаление, Babi!" Kate apologized.

The shared a few other words, while Castle marveled at their likeness. There was no doubt which side the eyes, flawless skin and beautiful hair came from. He was mesmerized by Kate's lips and the sounds coming out of them. _So hot!_

Then her grandmother turned an assessing eye on him. She said something to Kate, causing her to giggle.

"She says you're bigger in real life."

"Oh, uh, well," Castle smiled magnanimously and bowed a little, "I try not to exaggerate."

"Liar."

"And what about your alter ego, Mr. Rook?" Kate's grandmother asked. "Is he bigger in real-life?"

"Babi!"

He could see glimmer in Babi's eyes. _Oh, I love her, _Castle thought. They liked to mess with Kate as much as he did.

He grinned and stuck out his hand. "Richard Castle, Kate's partner."

_Interesting_, she thought. _Not writer. Not shadow._ "Rosemary Petersik," she answered, "Grandmother of muse." She admired how the gentleman before her brought her hand to his lips. _Warm eyes, like her grandfather's. Eyes for my Katherine, obviously._

"Come, Dear. You father said lunch was ready." Rosemary, took Castle's arm, and led him through the door into the house. "So, tell me, Mr. Castle" she said, "what is the nature of this research?"

Kate couldn't believe it. He had charmed her relatively straight-laced grandmother. _Her grandmother._ Or had she charmed him? She actually wasn't sure. She was a little mortified. Had her grandmother really just asked how big he was? _Her grandmother._

* * *

><p>Later, after they'd filled up on soup and sandwiches, filled the borrowed cooler with drinks and packed up everything, they were waving goodbye to father and grandmother. Beside her, Alexis was telling her how cool her dad was and how neat it was to meet her grandmother. Kate had a feeling of contentment, almost whole even. She hadn't felt that in quite a while.<p>

Kate was following Rick now, knowing they were close to their final destination. Still, she was wondering how many more bends they'd have to take as they kept driving lower and lower into the valley. It was getting a little annoying having to pay so much attention to the drive. She sighed.

The girls had fallen asleep on her, her iPod was in the back with Paige and she couldn't find a station she liked on the radio. Finally, Castle pulled onto a drive. Ahead of them, she saw the sign for "Adirondack's Outback Pioneer Park."

Castle got out to go check them in and came back with a map and two campsites circled, so they could go ahead. He said he had a few things to wrap up, and would just walk to the site when everything was set. He even let Ashley drive the Explorer to the site.

When Castle made it to the campsite, the girls were just heading back from the bathrooms, while Kate and the boys were pulling stuff out of the vehicles.

"Tents first, people," he said. "Then s'mores!"

The girls opted to put their tent between the two sites, brushing stones and sticks out of the way at Kate's suggestion. The boys haphazardly threw their tent up on the other side of the fire pit, a couple yards away. Castle, with Ajax's help, put his tent up on a grassy patch near the back of the other campsite.

Kate was surprised at how quickly they were done with the tents. The boys were still chucking stuff in the girls' tent while the girls were laughing, laying out their sleeping bags. Kate ducked her head in, with her sleeping bag in hand and her bag thrown over her shoulder. It didn't take long to realize her stuff was not going to fit.

"Oh, Kate," Alexis said. "Hold on. We just need to move some stuff around."

"Really?" Devyn asked. "She's sleeping in here? With us?"

"There's not really that much room, Alexis," Paige said looking doubtful.

Alexis climbed out. "Guys, it's a four-person tent. Trust me. There's room for all of us."

Ashley picked up the tent bag from the picnic table where Castle was going through the bins. Kate dropped her stuff on the table, and went to look over Ashley's shoulder. She was looking for the picture showing how to layout sleeping bags, but the picture only showed 3 bags.

Ashley realized it about the same time. "It's only a 3-person tent."

"What?"

"Three. Alexis. That's what it says."

"No. I'm sure I grabbed the four-person tent."

"'Fraid not." She was growing exceptionally suspicious of Castle in the wake of Alexis' seriousness and his own lack of comment.

"Alexis," he said, after considering their dilemma. Two 3-person tents, plus his. "Grab your stuff. You're bunking with me."

"What?" Alexis asked, spinning around on him. "Dad! That's the whole point of camping with my friends! Why can't Kate bunk with you?"

"You know why, Alexis. Now, come on. Grab your stuff." _Well, that dispelled the 'Castle did it' notion._

"Dad, that's totally unfair! It's not like you and Kate," she lowered her voice, so hopefully just the two in front of her would hear. "It's not like you two haven't slept together before!"

Kate felt bad for her and decided to step into diffuse the situation. "Castle?" she asked, needing to know he was okay with it. She knew she'd have to be the first to bring it up.

"What?"

She raised her eyebrow at him and cocked her head toward his tent.

"Yeah, I switched the tents," he said sarcastically. He started to walk away. Obviously, he'd caught onto her earlier hesitation.

Kate grabbed his arm, noting the rigidity and the way he bristled at her touch.

"Hey," she said quietly. "I trust you." He was having trouble believing this from her. "And I believe you, but that is not at all what I was asking."

He shook his head at her, wondering what the question was then.

"I'm just going to put my stuff in your tent. And you are not going to laugh or joke about it, got it?"

"Can I be happy about this unfortunate turn of events?"

"If you must, Castle."

Castle sat down at the picnic table and felt his daughter's arms close around his neck.

"You can thank me later," she said, kissing his cheek. "I'm thinking shopping spree." She walked off toward her tent. Castle wondered if she wasn't spending too much time with his mother? Alexis had never put on that good of a show before. He'd believed it was an honest mistake until she told him otherwise!

_Best. Daughter. Ever._

* * *

><p><strong>This happened to me a week ago Thursday (Sept 1), and since no one in my life can really appreciate it (though my hubby was amused), I'm sharing it with the Castle fandom. So, here it is, an entry from my journal…<strong>

_But then tonight, the greatest, funniest thing happened to me. We ordered pizza and I walked in to pick it up. No one else was there, and some pimply-faced teen comes out holding two pizza boxes, looking at a piece of paper._

He looks up at me and says...wait for it...

"Are you Beckett?"

I had a tiny, fleeting moment of joy over the idea that anyone could possibly confuse

_**ME**__ with __**BECKETT**__! But, realized quickly, yeah, the comparison in no way crossed his mind._

You should have seen his face when I said (with lots of feeling!) "I WISH!" Priceless. He was so confused. Poor kid.

I laughed all the whole way home and I'm still grinning like a fool! Joel's planning to call a mathematician to figure out the odds of someone saying that to ME, the only Castle fanatic we know!


	42. Ch 42 Climbing

**You all are amazing! Thanks so much for the reviews and story alerts. I was genuinely surprised at how much you all liked Kate's babi! Also thanks to The 12th Precint for including this. I don't have a Tumblr account, but I'm a sometimes stalker!**

_Recap: Alexis turned trickster, making some sort of deal with Lanie. Kate went shopping with the Castles. They all stopped at Kate's dad's house before making it to their camping destination. Rick met Kate's Babi and learned a lot more about her. Trickster took her shipping to a whole new level by picking a tent too small to accommodate all the girls forcing Kate to bunk with Castle—who deemed her "best daughter ever."_

_**And now they're camping…**_

* * *

><p>Chapter 42 – Climbing<p>

Sitting around the campfire with Castle and six teenagers was not at all what Kate imagined it would be. It was quiet.

Beyond their campsite, she could hear music playing. Occasionally she heard laughter from another campsite or the crunch of gravel as someone walked by. But around their fire, there was only the crackling and hiss of the logs as they buckled and warped to lava red coals, then white-hot embers before falling away as ash.

Kate watched the flames dance, mesmerized, as always, that it was never really the same. Across from her, Alexis sat cuddled into Ashley in her loveseat chair, sharing ear buds and little whispers. The girls and Ajax were texting. Castle was playing a game and, beside her, Kyle lightly tapped his leg to a beat projected for his ears alone. She was the only one not tuned into an electronic device.

Normally, the silence wouldn't bother her, but when she added logs to the dying fire for a second time without anyone seeming to realize, she debated just going to bed and reading her book, alone…in Castle's tent.

But, she wondered, how could they possibly be sitting around a campfire with a famed mystery novelist and not be enthralled by his storytelling? She knew from reminiscing with Alexis and Castle that it was their habit to sit around the campfire telling ghost stories. It wasn't something she'd ever done, but she was more than happy to indulge her ears.

Kate debated. _Bed and book or make 'em all mad? Bed and book? Or classic camping experience? Bed and Rick's book? Bed and Rook? Yeah, bed and Rook was good._ Smiling, she closed her eyes and leaned back. _Very good. Too bad I didn't bring one of those. _Instead, she had _The Dante Club_. But…she did have Rook's creator—who just so happened to be her favorite storyteller.

Kate stood and started with Alexis and Ashley, then Castle—taking their phones away. "Since half of us have never been camping and none of us do it often enough to make it blasé, shouldn't we at least _try_ to enjoy the experience—without batteries? Just for a little while?"

Her actions caught everyone else's attention and they all seemed ready to do something else.

"I'm game," Castle said.

Honestly, he hadn't known what to do with all the teens. He didn't want to seem uncool by suggesting a game or embarrass Alexis by saying something stupid, so he was trying to keep his mouth shut and fly under the radar. He was the "cool dad" when she was younger, but when you threw boys in the mix?

"What ya think?" Kyle asked. "I got a 'Name that Tune' app me and my friends play."

Kate and Castle each cringed at his speech.

"I brought a deck of cards," Alexis offered.

"Actually," Kate said, "I was thinking we'd be remiss not to take advantage of Mr. Castle, here. I don't want him to get a big head, but he _is_ a _fairly_ decent writer. I think we should talk him into telling us a story."

Heads nodded.

"I have a better idea," Castle said. "I say we make it participatory. Everyone contributes. Pass if you want to. That way, if it's not up to the good detective's standards, she can't blame me."

"Or you're just looking for ideas for you next book," Alexis shot.

"Ah, but you're forgetting—this troubadour is—"

"Castle—we want a story, not vainglory."

Alexis complimented Kate, causing her dad to scowl at each of them. He couldn't keep it up, though, especially not with Alexis pulling faces at him. Kate watched his lips twitch and flip upward.

"Fold."

"So, who wants to start?" Ashley asked. "I pass this round. I need something to go on."

"I'll go—unless you want to set the stage?" Alexis asked her father.

"Have at it, Honey."

Alexis began weaving a tale about foreigners travelling in a forgotten land. She passed to Kyle who threw in flooding. Paige built on that with a line about snakes and gators. Devyn passed, saying she was tired and going to bed. Ajax gave their travellers names, Kate built on their characters, adding the reason for their travels. Castle added swimming zombies.

By the time they'd made it around the circle a few times, they had added Voldemort, a ghost in a bubble, Jaws incarnate and Ursula. It had them laughing more than shaking in their boots. Another round and everyone passed, leaving Castle to finish weaving the tale—which he did amazingly well.

Even on the fly, he managed to recall the details everyone added and create a narrative that ended with a snake slithering into the whole in the dead foreigner's chest at Voldemort's command, a mysterious creeper lurking in the shadows and the smell of singed zombie flesh hanging in the air after a fire-bending avatar zapped the flood waters away. It was the most convoluted story she'd ever heard—and she'd heard some pretty interesting alibis. Castle finished it with an evil "BAH HA HA HA HA."

It wasn't too long after that the boys and Paige decided to hit the bathrooms before bed. After they walked off, Castle moved over to the loveseat chair to cuddle with his daughter. Kate never tired of seeing him with Alexis. She seemed to have a calming effect on him. With his head resting on hers and his arms wrapped around her, he looked at once peaceful and protective.

Without warning, a memory of her mother and father sitting just like that came rushing back to her. It was the last time they'd gone camping. Her parents had pulled the picnic table closer to the fire so that they could sit beside one another.

She recalled sitting across from them. She'd been surly most of the day. Her boyfriend had just broken up with her two days prior. She hadn't mentioned it to anyone. Her dad hadn't liked him. Her mom had taken to not commenting. She didn't want either of them to say "good riddance" when she was feeling so down.

She clearly remembered looking across at her parents, who'd sat in almost the same position Rick and Alexis were now in. At first, she was disgusted that they were so lovey-dovey; then, she'd watched as their hands met in her father's lap, without either planning or thinking about it. They'd been married for twenty-some years, but they were still so in love. She remembered feeling that feeling that could only be described as a "melting heart."

It was what she felt now, looking at Rick and Alexis. Her heart was melting for what they shared, what her parents shared and what they'd all given her. It was more than a lost memory; they'd given her back her family.

Kate felt her eyes well with tears and stood before anyone could notice.

"Goodnight you two," she said quietly. "Sleep well, Alexis."

Alexis wished her a good night as they watched her hurry away.

"Is Kate okay?"

"I'm sure she's fine, Lex."

"Missing her mom, you think?"

"Always. What about you? Talk to Meredith lately?"

"No, but Grandma says she got a lead part in some Indie Film. She's pretty happy about that. They're even filming it in Baja Cali, so she'll get to stay pretty close to home."

"That'll be nice for her. I hope it goes well."

"Me, too."

They just sat for a while, Alexis thinking about Meredith and Castle thinking about Alexis.

"So…your friends seem to be having a good time."

"Yeah."

"Except Devyn."

"Yeah."

"What's up with her?"

"I honestly don't know. I asked Paige because she's really been weird around Kate, but Paige doesn't know."

"But she's not, uh…is she safe?"

"I'm careful, Dad. You know that. And I don't know her that well, but she's Paige's cousin and they're all set, so no—I don't think you have to worry about her trying to take advantage of me. Besides—it's been a long time since that's happened."

"Still doesn't hurt to be careful."

"I am." Alexis paused. "You're safe, too, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"She's got a bit of a crush on Ajax, so I'm pretty sure it's not another one of those situations where one of my friends is after you."

"Thank God for small favors," Castle joked.

"Still, I don't know her that well, so you might want to be careful, and I'll tell you if I figure anything out. Apologize to Kate for me, though?" Alexis kissed his cheek and bid him goodnight. "I'm going to bed."

An hour later, after clearing the table and tipping the camp chairs, Castle entered the tent as quietly as possible. He was thankful for the clear dome top and moonlight. More than being long enough to accommodate his frame—that's what he loved about this tent. It made him feel like he was sleeping under the moon and stars, but he could watch the rain fall without getting wet.

He stepped over Kate and rummaged in his bag. He was trying so hard to be quiet. A quick glance at Kate to ensure she was asleep and he shucked his jeans to replace them with sweats. He hadn't been expecting company, so he was glad he brought them. Castle sat up on his knees and made sure everything was pulled from the sides of the tent.

He looked down at Kate. In the moonlight, all tucked into her black sleeping bag with her hair fanned out on her pillow, she looked like a black and white picture. A perfect beauty. A camera could never capture her, but he was saving this moment, locking it away on his internal hard-drive, backing it up in his heart.

Kate could feel him above her, but she didn't want to open her eyes. She'd been watching him when he wasn't looking, too. He'd taken his sweatshirt off, and while he was leaning around the tent, she was watching his muscles flex with each movement. _How did he look like that?_ And then his hair—how it flopped with each movement he made. She'd wanted to reach out to him and pull him down over her, but that wouldn't be right.

Once Castle was sliding into his bag, she spoke up.

"I'm awake, Castle."

"Sorry. I was trying not to."

"You didn't. Sandman stopped for a pint, I think."

Rick didn't respond. She had a lot on her mind, he was sure. He felt a little bad thinking _'It's been a big day for her'_—it was the kind of thing he said about Alexis when he'd worn her out as a little girl. But it's exactly what he was thinking.

They'd been silent for a while just listening to the night around them and their own thoughts, when Kate rolled over to face him.

"Hey, Rick?" she said quietly.

He turned his head to look at her. "Hmm?"

She held his gaze for a moment before closing her eyes. "Good night," she smiled sleepily.

"Sweet dreams, Kate."

* * *

><p>Rick's arm was thrown up around over his eyes trying to block the sunlight. <em>Damn tent.<em> _Impossible to sleep in._ He registered something tickling him. He looked down to see Kate's nose nuzzled into his side. She was curled up with a fist tucked inside his shirt and under her chin.

Kate stirred. _Ah, man. I shouldn't have moved_, he thought. He held his breath and tried to stay still hoping she'd relax, but it was too late. She shifted back to her pillow, groaning as she went. She withdrew her hand from his shirt and looked embarrassed.

"Sorry. I got cold."

"No problem. I'm happy to be your bed warmer."

"Umm." Kate stretched. Castle watched. "Ugg. I don't remember the ground being this hard when I was younger. Feels like we set up in a parking lot."

"I could get us an air mattress? Massage your back?"

"Trying to get out of sleeping on the ground, Castle?"

"You're the one who complained."

"Commented, not complained. It's a good sore."

"Good sore?"

"Yeah. You know? You're sore, but you feel good? Like after a good workout?"

"No such thing," Castle interrupted.

"'Course there is. C'mon you've got to work out. What do you do?"

Castle shook his head.

"C'mon—you've got to do something?" He had to. He was inexplicably muscular and she wanted to know why. He never talked about working out.

"Nope. I used to go to the gym, have a personal trainer—all that stuff, but I hated it."

"Then what do you do?"

"Good metabolism?"

"Don't lie. Tell me."

"I did."

"What else?"

"No. You'll laugh."

"The only way I'd laugh is if you told me it was gymnastics—though, you've already given me a visual on the tights, so maybe I could buy it."

"Promise you won't laugh?"

"No."

"Fine. Pilates. Okay? I do Pilates. It's relaxing."

_She's not laughing. She should be laughing by now. _Castle looked up at Kate. She looked mad.

"Seriously, Castle? _Pilates_?" She shook her head. _Damn._ _I work my ass off and Adonis here does Pilates? _

"And sometimes yoga. And sometimes Wii Fit. I just don't like being at the gym anymore, so I do everything at home. And I swim whenever I can and play racket ball with one of the guys in my building. Oh, and fencing. And laser tag."

"You play."

Castle shrugged. "Makes it more fun. Offer for a massage still stands."

Kate considered his offer. Did she want a massage? _Of course. Who wouldn't?_ Could she handle it after spending the night next to him, waking up with her hand splayed across his chest? _Probably not._ She was so glad he hadn't awakened first—too soon though after she moved her hand.

"Thanks, Castle, but, uh, maybe later? We should seriously consider putting our bags together tonight, though."

She saw Castle's eyes widen.

"I'd be happy to share my bag with you, Detective."

"For more cushion, Castle," she clarified. "Since you brought extra blankets."

"Ah." Castle smirked at her before stepping outside their tent. "I'd be happy to share my blankets with you." He winked before he zipped her in.

* * *

><p><em>Rock climbing. <em>He'd taken them rock climbing. He'd told them they were going on a hike and, when they met their guides at the path entrance, she'd thought it was a bit odd that they had three of them, but she just assumed it was Castle overdoing it. Then, they were standing at the bottom of a cliff, along the river's edge. It seemed they had reached an impasse and would turn around after they rested a while—which was fine by Kate, because, honestly, she hadn't thought they'd be gone so long and she was hungry.

They'd stopped to take a break, dip their feet in the water and just enjoy the view. It was amazing. Bright greenery against the grey river and steep, surprisingly colorful cliffs, with hills and valleys everywhere they looked. The day was a little overcast—_perfect for taking pictures_, Paige had exclaimed. Kate didn't think the girl had stopped clicking since they started their hike. She had a summer internship with a photographer that she was "super excited" about. She would actually be working at the same place as Ashley; he'd started there last year with graphic design.

Kate hadn't been interrogating him exactly, but she had spent a significant portion of their hike asking Ashley questions—and avoiding the one guide who'd taken an interest in her. She liked Ashley, and though her gut told her he was a good kid, it was Alexis…and Rick was her partner. He needed backup every now and then. She told herself she did the same thing with Maddie and Lanie's guys, but, they were big girls and the urge to shield them didn't come. It wasn't the same, at least.

Kate had learned enough from Ashley to understand that Stanford had as much to do with wanting to get away from his parents as it did with the school. They wanted him to study "something pretentious like Economics of Taxation in Underdeveloped Nations or Enigmatology." She was still trying to figure out if 'Enigmatology' was actually a thing or something he'd make up while he was filling her in on his plans to take only one economics class and use his graphic design skills to make them think otherwise.

It would have raised a red flag for her—his willingness to lie, but then he'd asked if it was illegal, indicating that he both trusted her and was concerned about it, so she chalked it up to typical parent-teen rebellion. Besides, she'd met his mother twice now and his dad once. Nice people, but she could see where they'd be domineering.

_Kate's stomach growled as she thought again that she should have eaten more than just the granola bar and apple, but while Castle and crew had mowed down eggs and turkey sausage made in hobo pie makers, she hadn't been all that hungry. Too many marshmallows the night before._

_She wondered if Castle heard her stomach's protest because, when she looked over at him, he asked "You guys hungry?" They all nodded or spoke in affirmation, thinking maybe the guides had lunch in the backpacks they carried, but then Castle pointed up the cliff._

"_Lunch is up there." Castle pointed up the wall of rock where a man stood at the top, waving down at them._

Lying in the tent, fresh from her shower, Kate laughed out loud recalling how Alexis had nearly lost her marbles thinking she was going to have to climb up that cliff, but Castle had just calmly put his arms around her—no small feat given the way she was waving her arms, yelling at him for springing something like this on her, and said, _"Pumpkin, you know I'd never make you do something you didn't want to do."_

Castle had explained to them that if they didn't want to climb, Terri, one of their guides would back track with them and take them to the top of the cliff via a well-worn path. He'd thought of everything.

_So, why couldn't he manage to think how sausage might affect him?_ Kate wondered to herself. She had scoffed at him, telling him to forget the sausage—that the spices that we're going to do a number on him. She and Alexis had each tried to convince him not to buy sausage in the first place, but he insisted, pulling the "it's my stomach, I think it should be up to me to decide what it can handle" line. _At least, we convinced him to give the turkey version a chance._

Castle might have been fine if it weren't for the physical exertion of the hike, but she'd seen him pressing the heel of his hand to his sternum and holding his side. He'd pretended he was okay, but she could tell he was hurting and trying not to let anyone know. She'd walked over to the backpack Castle dropped earlier and dipped into the side pocket where she'd snuck in some Tylenol and Tums.

He'd looked at her so gratefully when she handed him her water bottle and two Tylenol. She'd watched his eyes soften when he looked at her. The wrinkles that were tightly kinked around his eyes due to the light or, more likely, pain just kind of fanned out when he looked at her so tenderly. Any smartass remark she'd had at the ready when he asked her _"Not going to say I told you so?"_ was lost. She couldn't speak when she was lost in his eyes. _His fabulous eyes._

She actually couldn't remember much else in the moments between his eyes and opening the Tums for him. She was aware only of his eyes and the expansion in her chest making it hard to breathe. _God, it had actually started to hurt! Is that normal?_ Somehow, Castle's _"tastes like chalk"_ comment caused her chest to deflate and she could breathe again. She'd laughed a little, unsure if it was from the look on his face while chewing the berry-flavored chalk or sheer relief that she wasn't having a heart attack. _Not a real one at least._

Kate rolled over onto her stomach, folding her pillow under her neck.

_Their guides—turned out there were four of them—set the wall up so that they could climb two at a time. They chose this spot because it offered something for everyone. The cliff itself wasn't so high that it was too intimidating to consider, but it was high enough to make a newbie's heart beat a little faster, even with the easy holds to the right. Kate could see that the wall would become more challenging if she ventured left. If she moved too far to the left—where the crag pitched out a bit, she wouldn't stand a chance. _

_Alexis and Paige opted not to climb, so while they hiked up to the top with Terri, the others were fitted into climbing harnesses. They listened to their belayers explain they'd be "top-roping" and that they were free to play and rappel, so long as they communicated their intentions appropriately. _

_Castle told her he'd picked their campground intentionally figuring the kids might be bored just sitting around the campsite. Apparently, there'd been an option for whitewater rafting as well, but he thought this option offered hiking and good views if the kids didn't want to climb. _

_They let the kids go first, Devyn and Kyle, followed by Ajax and Ashley. While they waited, Kate studied the wall, trying to plan her path up. There was a shiny black quartz section about halfway up that she'd have to go around one way or another; she could tell there were no holds in that area. _

_She'd felt a little nervous. A date had taken her climbing at a rock wall once. Kate smiled remembering how…_what was his name? Jeremy?_...had been intent on impressing her with his climbing prowess. Their date went downhill about the time Kate became comfortable on the wall and proved to be a better climber than her date. He'd asked her how she was managing, and when she'd answered "chin-ups," he hadn't believed her. So, of course, she had to prove it to him. Needless to say, dinner had been very quiet. _

"_Have you climbed here before?" she asked._

_Kate knew Castle had been climbing before. A game of 'Would You Rather?' with Lanie, Jenny and the boys several months ago revealed as much. The choice had actually been bungee jumping or sky diving—only Castle had done each, but then they started discussing other adventures. _

_Esposito tagged the sky diving and rock climbing, and Jenny had been bungee jumping, but they were willing to try anything. Ryan claimed he wanted to bungee jump and had been scuba diving a few times. Kate said she'd give sky diving a go before bungee jumping. Lanie, on the other hand, had been hard pressed to choose, but finally settled on bungee jumping since she wasn't a huge fan of flying anyway and hated her Caribbean snorkeling experience. Castle, it seemed, had tried everything, including ice caving—hence, the pemmican—all in the name of research. _

"_Not here, no. And it's been years."_

"_Looks like we're up."_

"_Yup."_

"_Any tips?"_

"_Have fun?"_

"_Castle?" she said, looking up at him while Jason paid a little too much attention to checking over her harness. She grinned at him. "Wanna race?" _

"_What? I wanna play," he whined._

"_Just to that ridge above the quartz?"_

"_You're on, Detective, but what's my motivation?"_

"_Bragging rights not enough for you?"_

"_Scared you'll lose?"_

"_All right, Castle." Kate thought a moment. "Okay, when I win, you make good on your massage offer from this morning."_

"_Stiff, huh?" Castle asked. "Deal. And when _I_ win, I make good on my massage offer—"_

"_Castle—"_

"_And you put dinner on. Stew. Everything's ready—just needs to be thrown together and heated."_

"_Sounds like a win-win for me."_

"_I could say the same." Castle called over his shoulder, "We're ready to climb."_

"_On belay," their belayers called back._

"_Ready, Detective."_

_Kate just yelled "Climbing!" in answer. She was halfway to their mark when she looked over to her right and saw a Castle a good length ahead of her. He was easily scaling the cliff on the right side of their space. There were footholds and handholds bigger than his feet._

"_Absolutely not, Castle!" _

"_Can't go changing the rules half-way through, Beckett."_

_Kate sent a glare at him. "How about an honorable win, if you're going to win?"_

"_Oh, I'm gonna win."_

"_At that rate, yeah, but it will be meaningless and you know it."_

_Castle yelled, "Falling" and then rappelled the short distance to her. Once he had a hold back on the wall, he started climbing over to her. _

"_All right, Kate," he said when he was right next to her. "So, what are your rules? I'll start where you are."_

"_No rules, Castle. Just don't cheat."_

"_No rules? You always have rules."_

"_Fine. You have to at least challenge yourself a little bit."_

"_Okay." Castle started moving closer to her. When he reached across her back, she froze a little._

"_Castle! What are you doing? You're gonna make me fall!"_

"_You said to challenge myself. If I'm going to do that, I need to be over there."_

"_Doesn't mean you need to go over me!"_

"_Part of the challenge, Kate. Move your foot."_

"_What? No! Find your own spot!"_

_He was directly behind her now, his helmet clicking against hers while he looked around. She could feel his breath on her neck. It was disconcerting. _

"_Still want that tip, Detective?" The sleeve of his t-shirt skimmed her bare arm. The hair on his legs tickled behind her knees._

"_No."_

"_You're using your arms too much. They'll be worn out before you reach the top."_

"_Really? That's your expert tip? Think I'm doing fine, Castle."_

"_No, that's not my expert tip. My expert tip—learned it my first time climbing—is," he pushed up against her with his hips, causing her to gasp, "Make love to the wall." _

_He was aroused, not fully, but she could feel him pressed into her backside. It was _not_ just the way the harness was wrapped around his groin. She didn't trust herself to respond. _

_Her whole body was pressed into the rock, and Rick felt just as solid behind her. She felt her own reaction twill down her spine. She knew Rick didn't miss it. She felt so tight and turned on. It occurred to her, in that moment, that except for the soft flesh, it would have been hard to distinguish between her breasts and the boulder in front of her. _

_She knew she teased him sometimes, but this was ridiculous. She literally had nowhere to go. And what could she say without letting him know how much this was really affecting her? Rick reached further up above them, pressing tighter against her. For a moment, she worried that he intended to crawl up her body, and that _definitely_ would not be okay. She was debating releasing her hold on the wall knowing it would cause them each to fall, when she felt the pressure on her back release. He moved up and off of her._

"_Hips close to the wall. Use your legs. That's what my first guide taught me." Kate risked a glance at him. He was so broad and solid. She was surprised he moved so agilely along the wall. _

_Kate finally found her voice. "Your first guide taught you to make love to a wall?" she asked wryly._

_Castle winked at her. "He just needed help phrasing it."_

"_Get climbing, Writer Boy. We've got a race to finish."_

_They weren't too far from the ridge now, so Kate just kept climbing. Castle was climbing, too, but he'd ventured far enough left that holds were few and far between, and the ones that he could find were more like pencil ledges. Kate made it to the ledge before Castle, but it didn't feel much like a win, considering he'd stopped racing to concentrate on technique._

_Kate stopped on the ridge to rest. It was only about a foot wide, but it was enough to sit. Rick was right. Her arms and fingers were already sore. She pulled a knee up to her chest and simply looked out to enjoy the view. It was spectacular. With the river just below them and smaller cliffs across from them, it gave the impression that they were higher than they actually were._

_Rick hauled himself up onto the ledge beside her. Kate took in his black v-neck, all covered in dust and dirt. She looked down at her own tank. It was filthy—but the surprise had been worth it. She wasn't normally one for surprises, but it didn't bother her so much with Rick. Maybe she'd just gotten used to it? He was always surprising her. _

_They didn't rest there too long before Alexis was yelling down to them telling them to hurry up—or the boys were going to eat their lunch. They each decided they were hungry enough not to let that happen. They started climbing side by side. They were making good headway when Kate realized Castle had stopped. _

"_Come on, Castle. Let's go."_

"_Right behind you."_

_But he wasn't moving, so she edged closer to him to find out what he was concentrating on. He was carving his name into the rock. Kate watched him, fascinated. He looked so far from boyish right then. Thoughtful. Wistful, even, but not child-like. She wondered what he was thinking. When he was done, about to pocket his Gerber tool, she put her hand on his forearm to stop him. _

"_Put my name, too," she whispered, not in question, but hesitantly. It seemed meaningful to him and she wasn't sure if she was intruding. _

_Castle looked over at her, again with that tender look that paused her breathing and sped her heart. The right side of his lips tugged into that half-smile she loved while his eyes closed, and he nodded happy acceptance of her request. Below his name, he added "+ Kate." _

_When he was through, he quipped something about it being carved in stone. He adjusted his hold on the wall and began to climb again. Kate reached out, wiping the dust from their names. She pressed a kiss with her fingers to Rick's name and lingered on the '+', silently making promises._

"Kate?" Alexis tapped on the tent lightly. The screen was open, but she couldn't tell if Kate was asleep or not.

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah." Alexis unzipped the panel and bent to enter. "I was just thinking about reading, but I haven't quite worked up the energy. What's up?" She could tell Alexis wanted to talk about something. She was being too quiet and not making eye contact.

"Did you see the pics of the puppies I sent you?"

"Yes, I did. I don't know if this is such a good idea."

"What? We told you—he's gonna love it. He wants a dog so badly."

"No—I know. But, how are we going to pick just one? All those puppies at the shelter and we're supposed to pick one—maybe even take it away from its family?"

"Seriously, Kate? That sounds so wussy."

Kate smacked her with a pillow. "How would you feel if someone stored you in a little locker and people came to look at you, maybe even play with you, but then just put you back in the locker? And then, if you were one of the lucky ones and someone liked you, you were pulled away from your brothers and sisters and the locker you'd become comfortable with?"

"So, you'd rather leave the puppy so it doesn't suffer from separation anxiety?"

"No," Kate said dejectedly, teasing Alexis. "I just think you should find a home for all of them."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. Make it your mission in life."

"Puh-lease. My mission in life is far less noble."

"And what is that?"

Alexis paused, becoming more serious. "Well, actually, I don't know, but I'm not about to become the poster child for PETA."

"Did you like any of them?"

"Well, the one with the scrunchy face was so homely it was cute. There was that white fluff ball one—she was cute, but I can't really see my dad taking up the man purse and poodle look."

"You never know, Lex. This is your dad we're talking about."

"Did you like any of them?"

"I don't know. It's hard to tell, not being in front of them. I honestly don't think we'll find one that way. Gives us a good idea of what's out there, but until I see the puppy in person—pet it and play with it, I don't think we're going to know which one 'it' is."

"Well, since Dad didn't want me to work, I have tons of free time. So, whenever you want to go, call me. I can be there at the drop of a hat."

"Where's that phrase from, anyway?"

Alexis shrugged. "Ask Dad."

"When do you want to record your composition?"

"Time's getting away from us, so whenever you can."

"Let's shoot for Wednesday so that we have the weekend, if something comes up. Be thinking of ways to get your dad out of the house."

Kate watched Alexis thumb through photos on Castle's iPad. She seemed hesitant to bring up whatever was bothering her—and Kate was sure now that something was bothering her. She wasn't her light-hearted self.

"Still want me to braid your hair? Not sure I can teach you the fishtail braid while doing your hair, but I can at least do it for you."

Alexis nodded. She'd been impressed with Kate's braid yesterday. Alexis made small talk and told her stories to go along with some of the pictures she was looking at. Finally, she caved.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"If Kevin came to you and told you Javier was talking about hooking up with another woman, would you tell Lanie?"

"Absolutely."

"Even, if you didn't know for sure?"

"I'd tell her 'this is what Ryan told me.' I'd name names and be frank."

Alexis didn't seem happy with her answer.

"But, I can tell you that the hypothetical you posed isn't applicable to your situation. For one, if Esposito told Ryan something like that, Ryan would never betray his trust—even as much as he adores Lanie. Two, Esposito wouldn't live to see the light of day if I found out something like that—and that's nothing compared to what Lanie would do."

"Okay…so, say you had a friend, and another friend told you that this friend's friend did something with someone—not a friend—"

"My brain, Lex. If you say 'friend' one more time…" Kate finished Alexis' braid and wrapped her arms around Alexis' small frame. "Why don't you just tell me, hmm? There are only a few people here that could cause you to be this upset, and even I weren't damn good at it, I'd draw to the conclusion we're eventually going to get to anyway."

Alexis breathed out in relief.

"Ashley told me this morning that Kyle was bragging about hooking up with some girl a few weeks ago. Said he'd seen her a few times since then. And I was trying to figure out how to tell Paige, but while we were hiking, when it was just us, she told me that she and Kyle found a spot by the river and they're gonna sneak out tonight and…you know. And then Kyle and Devyn were there. And, now…I don't know. I want to tell her, but I don't. I mean, people have said that to me before about Ashley, but it was lies. Just lies. So, how's she supposed to believe me, when I don't even know if it's true? I mean, maybe he was just bragging trying to impress Ashley and Ajax cause they're older and—and more experienced? I don't want to tell her and have her be mad at me or ruin anything between them if it's not true."

"Oh, um…wow." Kate was stunned by the speed of Alexis' speech. The teen was looking at her now, begging for a solution. "Well, I can see why you don't want to be the one to speak up, but I think you have to tell her. She's your friend. Wouldn't you want her to tell you?"

"She has before, but like I said, it turned out not to be true. And she still kinda feels like I chose—choose Ashley over her. What if she thinks I'm just trying to get back at her?"

"If she's meant to be a forever friend, she'll know you're just looking out for her."

"I know. I just don't want to tell her, not yet. I'd rather talk to Kyle first. Make him tell her or end things or at least hear his side."

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but you're on a kind of tight timeline. Think how hurt Paige will be if something happens between them—and how angry at you she'll be if she finds out you knew and allowed her to give herself to someone who didn't really care enough about her."

"I know. And I don't want that to happen either, so I was hoping you could help."

"What do you want me to do, Alexis?" She was hardly the right person to discuss this with Paige. Unless Alexis wanted her to interrogate Kyle? That she could do.

"Well, you're used to stakeouts, right?" Kate nodded, not really liking where this was going. "Could you maybe just listen for them? You know, the tents? You'd hear the zippers, right? If they tried to sneak out in the middle of the night?"

"So, what? You want me to just sit around the fire all night? How would I explain that to your dad?"

"No!" Alexis said quickly. "I mean. It doesn't have to be around the fire. And, it wouldn't be all night. They plan to sneak out around two."

"Lex," Kate said her name slowly.

"Please, Kate? Just as a tentative plan? In case I don't get a chance to talk to Kyle?"

"Sweetie…" Kate sighed. This was a bad plan, but Alexis was so earnest. How was she supposed to tell her 'no'? "Okay, Lex. But you so totally owe me," Kate said poking her arm.

"I'll be puppy sitting while you're at work. Taking it on walks, cleaning up doggy-doo. All you have to do is stay awake for a bit and intervene if necessary."

"Okay…fine. But for the record, when your dad said 'chaperon' I didn't think he actually meant it!"

"You're not going to tell him are you?"

_And have to deal with him overreacting? No._ It wasn't his daughter, but she knew he was concerned about this.

"No, but, Lex…" _Hmm_, Kate thought. _How do I want to put this? Did I even want to know?_ _You're his back-up. You promised you'd look after her. _"Are you being safe?"

"What? Safe?" Realization dawned on Alexis. "Oh, we're not having sex."

"You said Ajax and Ashley were more experienced."

"Ajax is...and Ashley…was…more experienced than I was, but…"

"You are being safe, though?"

"Not much choice."

"Meaning?"

"I'm 17, Kate. I still see the same pediatrician I saw when I was 10. I'm at the age where they recommend seeing a gynecologist—and I would. I mean, I would never do something stupid and not use protection. I would rather be prepared. Double up, you know? Just in case."

"You haven't been to the gyno." Her statement was missing the tilt at the end that would have made it a question like she'd intended.

"I was thinking of asking Gram, but she's so dramatic, you know? And not exactly the shining example of…well… And then I—I wanted to ask you about it, but then I didn't know if you'd feel obligated to tell my dad about it. And then that would be awkward for you. More awkward than this."

"Honey, this isn't awkward. It's just us. You and me." She leaned back on her pillow and Alexis followed on Rick's side.

"You know, if your dad had his way, you'd be in a chastity belt until you're 40, but we all know that's not going to happen. As much as he will have conniption-fit at the thought of you having sex—seriously, Lex, he's not ready for that, he'll also respect that you haven't yet, and that you're being responsible about it."

"I don't want to freak him out. Just because I want to be on birth control doesn't mean I'm going to run out and have sex. I just want to be ready if it does seem right."

"I think that's wise, Alexis. Just, do me a favor, okay? Don't rush it just because he's going off to school."

"I won't. Honestly—and I've told Ashley this, too—I don't see myself sleeping with Ashley—or anyone until I'm 18. I figure it's an adult activity with very adult consequences, the least I could do out of respect for my dad—myself, too, I guess—is to be recognized as a legal adult."

At some point, their conversation lost the awkwardness Alexis initially felt. Alexis was much more confident in this than she was about how to deal with Paige and Kyle. She had a very mature and healthy attitude toward sex; she'd set boundaries and goals for herself and communicated those to Ashley. The mere fact that Ashley knew where she stood was a testament to her state of mind and maturity. _Hell, so far as communication goes, she's doing better than me._

Kate looked over at her favorite red-headed teen. "I'll take you, you know. My gynecologist, if you want, or wherever you pick. If you want."

"Really?"

"Yeah. My doc's nice. And they use warm gel and warm that thing—I don't know what you call it. The spreader?

"It's a speculum."

"Really?"

"Sex Ed."

"Huh. Warm gel. Warm _speculum_. Trust me when I tell you that improves the experience tenfold."

"Does it hurt?"

"Uncomfortable. And truly awkward. But, it's quick…and I guess you kind of get used to it."

"Is your doctor a woman? Think I'd prefer a woman."

"Yeah."

"Then that would be cool, if you could go with me."

"We'll still have to tell your dad, though."

"What? Why?"

"Well, for one, it'll show up on his insurance anyway. For another, what if something happened to you? He'd have to tell them what medications you're on. It would be dangerous for him not to know."

"That makes sense, but he's not going to like it."

"You want me to prep him?"

"It'd probably go over better."

"And you can always just tell him the birth control is to help regulate your period. He can't argue with that 'cause he can't know. Lots of women use birth control for that."

"Thanks, Kate."

"Don't thank me yet. I'm going to find to most poopinest puppy in Manhattan."

* * *

><p><strong>I know it was a bit of a wait…but it's long. If these are too long, or chuck full of things you don't care about, please tell me. I happen to like a story and to learn about the characters, but if it's moving along too slowly for your liking, I'd like to know. Also, love to hear what you like! So, please, leave me a review?<strong>

**[SERIOUSLY – please leave a review! That count is stuck at 666 which seriously creeps me out!]**

**Hope to have the next chapter up yet this weekend, but it probably won't happen. It's half-written because I wasn't sure where I wanted to break. Only one more chapter of camping…**


	43. Ch 43 Chicanery

**You all liked that last one! Thanks for moving reviews way past that ugly, evil number!**

_Recap: They're camping. Went rock climbing. Kate and Alexis had a chat about sex. Kate learned indirectly that Alexis is more experienced than Rick would ever want to know, and she promised to thwart Paige and Kyle doing it down by the river because Kyle might be a little scuz._

* * *

><p>Chapter 43 – Chicanery<p>

"We could make her think there's a bear outside her tent." They'd just stepped onto the path to the camp store.

"You've tried that before, haven't you? And Paige already flipped out over the spider in their tent."

"We could cut out all her pockets or—or put raw eggs in her sleeping bag."

"You want to deal with that mess?"

Castle shook his head.

"Yeah. Me neither. Pockets thing has potential, but…you paid for all those clothes, and you'd pay for the replacements, too."

"True. Plus, she'd just borrow Paige's clothes. We could—nah, that wouldn't work…no mattress." Castle paused.

Since they left the precinct, anytime Alexis was out of earshot, he'd been throwing out ideas to get back at Alexis. "We could fill her shoes with dirt…but that's not really messing with her."

"Plus she wears her sandals most of the time anyway."

"We could put food coloring in her conditioner. That'd last."

"Now, that's just mean."

"She deserves it after what she did," Castle whined.

"And what did she do, Castle? Some detectives we are. We still haven't figured out what she did."

"But we know she made a deal with Lanie. And she has that picture of us on her phone."

That was true. The evidence wasn't even circumstantial. They'd witnessed the handshake and Castle had snuck Alexis' phone away from her to see what was on it. He'd showed it to Kate, who'd promptly yelled at him for snooping before pulling the phone from him and shuffling through some of the pictures she'd take of them asleep together on the couch. Castle had protested, but she told him that he could not go through his daughter's phone. She could look; he could not. Confident that any other photos Alexis had of them were harmless, she'd clicked out of the camera app.

"Yeah, but I make deals with Lanie all the time. It could be harmless." She felt like they should be getting back at Lanie, and she'd told Castle as much. She _would_ get back at Lanie, but with Lanie knowing what she knew, she was willing to wait this out. Withholding information might be the best form of torture. She was sure Lanie was already stewing—she'd never told her about falling asleep with Castle. When it came down to it, she knew that was the reason Lanie was making deals with Alexis. Lanie was definitely planning something and she was using Alexis to achieve her end goal.

"What about that proposal thing?"

Kate shrugged. "She didn't mean anything by it Castle. She just thought it would be a good way to mess with Lanie—and it was."

"You're going soft!"

"No, _I'm not_. I just…maybe she's got enough going on right now?"

"Kate?"

"She's _fine _Castle. You don't think our 'retaliation' is misplaced?"

"We _are _getting back at her. Trust me, she's not as innocent as you think."

"Oh, _I_ know."

"What's _that _supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Kate sing-songed, reaching for the door. She loved messing with him. "Come on, Castle," she nudged him. "Let's just get the ice…and coffee. Cannot forget the coffee."

It was her first time in the store. It was bigger than she thought it would be. Heck, it seemed bigger than the Grab-and-Go a couple blocks from her apartment. They didn't have a lot of any one thing sitting on the shelves, but they had a lot of things: all the essentials—food basics and toiletries. She saw some tools, sunglasses, sunscreen, maps, lighters, some clothes, and some tourist trap stuff. It was all very unorganized, but the way the older lady bustled around and directed people, it was obvious she knew where everything was.

Kate stopped at a box of books with a "Have a book? Leave a book. Need a book? Share a book" sign. She browsed through those, but none of them caught her eye. She turned around and came face to face with and wall of towels and toys. The Super Soakers caught her eye and an idea began forming—something that would satisfy Castle, in more ways than one—he'd get to get back at his daughter _and _run around like a little kid—but, it wasn't malicious or long-term.

Castle came over to her, handing her coffee. "It's not Starbucks, but it's hot and better than battery acid." He'd arranged to have the clerk's grandson deliver more wood and ice in the John Deere Gator he'd seen the kid driving around. It'd save them from having to carry it back.

Kate accepted the coffee, but her eyes didn't move. Castle stood watching her think. He was tempted to follow her line of sight, but he didn't want to look away. He loved it when she was pulling the pieces together. She was clipping her teeth with her thumbnail.

"How do you feel about an ambush? We wait 'til after dark, when they're just sitting around?" She liked this idea because it didn't focus strictly on Alexis, but they could still get her back.

Rick looked at the wall, eyes narrowing in on the water guns. "That's perfect! Then I can use my night vision goggles!"

Kate rolled her eyes, and grabbed two guns from the shelf. Rick stopped her. The two she grabbed were green and neon pink.

"I'm not using a pink gun."

"What? I've seen you in pink shirts—from pastel pink to fuchsia."

"Yeah, but this is a gun."

"It's fake," Kate said with extra emphasis on "fake." Castle's eyes shifted to her lips and back. She was shorter in her sandals, but the effect she had on him was no less powerful than when they were eye to eye.

"So? I'll get the other one. Then we can tell whose is whose."

Kate lowered her voice. "You don't want me touching your gun, Castle?" She let her eyes travel downward, stopping at the yellow and orange gun in his hands. He deserved it after what he did to her earlier in the day. She didn't venture further south for her dignity's sake.

Kate looked back up at him. "You were that kid that took your toys and went home when things didn't go your way, weren't you?"

"I—"

"No. Really. It's okay, Castle." She paused, looking at him coyly from beneath her lashes. "I know how to…entertain myself." She turned and headed for the counter.

_Speechless_, she thought. _Point me. _

"Are you in town for the Hot Air Balloon Festival?" the lady asked conversationally, as Castle came up behind her. "We always get busy 'round this weekend."

"No ma'am," Castle answered. "Haven't heard anything about it."

"Oh, it's wonderful. They do a Glow Show after dark. There'll be one tonight and one tomorrow. My grandkids love it. Take 'em every year."

"I imagine they do love it. I took my daughter to a huge hot air balloon festival in Albuquerque once. They did a night glow with the balloons tethered. Some of them even put on a show coordinated to music. It was an exceptional experience."

"Yep. They do that, too. You're here with all those kids, right? The group that went climbing today?

"Yeah. It was fantastic. Please thank your son again for arranging it."

"Well, I imagine you want to rest tonight, but if you change your minds, it's about 30 miles from here. I could give you directions ."

Rick glanced at Kate. "Actually, I think we're just looking to relax. If they all want to go tomorrow, maybe we will."

"Well, either way," she leaned forward, "Let you in on a little secret Mr. Rodgers—their race route is right over us." She nodded toward the door and beyond that the open area, with the playground, half-court and volleyball sandpit. There was also a good amount of thick green grass that Kate had enjoyed walking through on her way to the showers.

"Most of the day tomorrow you'll see 'em from out there. They can be pretty far away, but Charlie's got some binoculars in the back room."

Kate secretly hoped they wouldn't want to go anywhere. As nice as the hot air balloon show probably was, she'd rather stay here and relax. The thought of being around a lot of people just didn't appeal to her.

Castle thanked Mrs. Schwartz for the insider knowledge and arranged for the water guns to be added to their delivery. Then, he ushered Kate out of the store with his hand at the small of her back.

"Come on, Detective. We can plan our blitzkrieg while I pay up."

"If you expect me to think while getting a massage—it's not happening."

"Fine. I'll plan. Then I can tell you what to do for a change."

"Don't count on it, Castle."

* * *

><p>Kate wasn't surprised to find that Castle had already zipped their bags together. She honestly didn't mind because it would be more comfortable, but she was still a little surprised that she'd swung the door so wide open on that one. <em>It's not like we're sharing a sleeping bag<em>, she told herself._ We're just using them for extra cushion._

Castle was sitting beside her, removing the water guns from their packaging and running through his plans for "Operation Ambush Alexis." He'd already stopped once before they got in the tent and forced her to look on as he drew out their "battle plan" in the dirt—complete with their positions, "X" to identify their mark, and arrows. _He's way too excited about this_, Kate thought.

Kate reached for his iPad and plugged it in to the mini speakers he brought along. She scrolled through his music library and selected the playlist they'd made for the Jamboree. Ultimately, they'd settled on a band that would play a mix of big band music, Swing, Motown, Sinatra and classics like "Brown Eyed Girl," "How Sweet It Is" and "Jailhouse Rock." She wasn't sure how her mother felt about the big band stuff, but she loved all things Sinatra and the classics. Besides, it felt wrong to have music her mother would have never heard at an event to honor her. Rick had voiced it, but she completely agreed.

"So, what do you think?"

"About?"

"Were you even listening?"

"Of course."

"What's the plan then?"

"We jump out of the wood and shoot them when they're least expecting it?"

"Well, yeah, but—"

"And Lanie accuses me of overcomplicating things."

"Maddie, too."

"Shut-up. You're no angel."

"I get paid to create intricate plot lines."

"Well you're not getting paid now."

"Not true." Castle cuffed his hand over his ear. "Hear that? That, my dear, is the sound of a new book sale in Texas. Oh, oh…and there's another. Russia. Oh, and…what's that, oh, yeah...royalties."

"Stop bragging, Castle."

"Roll over. Not bragging. Just saying. At a certain point it's easy to make money because you always are. Really, it doesn't make sense. When I was much younger and we didn't have money, we had to pay for everything. Now, I have money, and people want to give me stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Expensive lotions, that heated shave cream, diamond bracelets, watches, vacations, dinners, clothes, shoes. They want you to be seen in their stuff or at their place. I can't imagine what it's like for A-listers. I'm not complaining. I'm just saying, it's weird how the world works. Why am I not the one standing in line at the soup kitchen or sweeping streets?"

"You act like you don't deserve it."

"I don't. No one does."

"That's not true, Castle. You do more good than you know." Reading his books had pulled her from unfathomably dark and hopeless places.

"Hey, I'm not saying I don't enjoy the money and the perks, but yes, I do try to help others out. Maintain some balance."

"That's not what I meant, but, yeah…I know that. You hide it, though."

"I don't hide it. But can you imagine how it would be if it were in the paper? They'd think I was only there for publicity's sake, and I don't want that."

She didn't believe him. He wasn't open about the community gardens, the playroom at the hospital, the soup kitchen and other things he did. She knew about some of it, but he hadn't been the first to tell her about most of it. She doubted their friends knew about any of it.

"What's the weirdest thing anyone's ever given you?" Kate asked, enjoying the way Castle started with her neck and shoulders. It was different though, lying down rather than sitting in front of him.

"Fans or sponsored events?" Castle felt her shrug. "Oh, uh…you don't want to know."

Kate looked over her shoulder at him. She could see that he was serious. "Okay, so not weirdest, weird though?"

Rick thought for a moment. "A chicken's foot—talon rather. No note or anything, so I don't know if it was meant to be symbolic."

"Most memorable?" Kate asked, happy with the way her voice was so even despite the moan she'd just cut off.

"Besides Dunn, you mean?"

"Yeah, good memorable."

"You know that jack-in-the-box in my office?"

Kate nodded. She was trying to concentrate on his words, not on his hands. _His large, talented, capable hands._ He was deftly manipulating the muscles of her back. Her ability to produce logical thoughts was quickly slipping away.

"Someone made that for me. Again I don't know who; a complete stranger. The box is all carved out of a single block of wood, and if you look at it, he—"

"Or she," Kate interjected

"—designed a kingdom. On one side, there's a castle. There's a side where the king is riding through town with townspeople all around him. One shows him standing before his throne knighting someone. Another shows the king in a garden with the castle in the background. It functions just like every other jack-in-the-box, but this one's special. And the jester inside is classic. Never seen anything like it."

Castle stopped rubbing her back. Kate looked up at him again. That wasn't how he normally stopped. She noticed he had a habit of squeezing her shoulders—or her feet—twice before rubbing just a little longer. That's how he'd warn her he was about done. Then he'd stop. His daughter had the same habit.

"Are you going to relax, or not?"

"I'm trying."

"You're tense. Now, come on. Pretend you're at the spa or something or this whole exercise is going to be pointless."

"Isn't the point of the massage to help me relax?"

"To help your _muscles _relax." Castle quickly grabbed ahold of her side and shook her back and forth. "I want ragdoll floppy, Beckett. Clay not marble."

Kate fought the urge to laugh. "Okay! Okay! Stop!" She said, swatting at his arms the best she could from where she was lying on her stomach. He was tickling her sides. She did not want him to know how ticklish she was. She let herself slump and go heavy. "Better?" she asked.

"Much." He started rubbing again, pleased with a more pliant Kate.

He did his best not to tease her, but…_God, when she moaned._ He knew, in the strictest sense, he was supposed to keep his hands off her, but how was he supposed to do that when he really just wanted to rip her clothes off? She was lying so close to him. Under his hands, really. And he was touching her. More than that, he had permission! He was doing his best not to abuse the privilege. He'd made only one trip down her arms even though he could tell she liked it because he couldn't stand feeling her soft skin. She was all sinew and softness—such an intoxicating combination. _Such a dangerous, intoxicating combination. _

* * *

><p>Kate was walking back to their campsite along the path that led to and from the vault toilet. There were flush toilets, but they were way up by the showers, and the outhouse was clean, so she didn't mind. It was dark now, so she knew Castle would want to implement their plan when she got back.<p>

Kate's flashlight roved the person stumbling toward her. She immediately recognized the shoes and legs as belonging to Castle. _Figures_, she thought, fighting a smile. She knew he was antsy. He couldn't even wait until she made it back.

"Castle?"

"Beckett?" He asked. "Turn off your flashlight. You're ruining my night vision."

Kate didn't listen. Instead, she shined the light up even higher. _Yup. Goggles. _"Seriously, Castle? Face paint?"

"I knew it had to be you. You're red-hot, you know? Squirrels are only green and yellow hot." She watched his night vision goggles bob up and down, so she knew he was quirking his eyebrows again. He handed her one of the two Super Soakers, already filled. As wet as it was, she wondered if any water had made it past the bore. "The camo paint came with the night vision."

"And you packed it? What? Just in case?" she asked, shaking her head, clicking her flashlight off. The path had opened up and they were no longer directly under thick tree covering.

"And look how well it worked out. Here," he said, pulling her to a stop. "We need to make you war ready."

"Nu-uh, Castle." She'd already put on her darker jean jacket and tennis shoes. That was good enough.

"But, Beck_-ett_."

Nope. Not going to cave. _Stay strong, Girl. Thanks, Lanie_, she wasn't putting war paint on. _She wasn't._ No matter how much he pouted or gave her sad puppy eyes.

"Oh, fine. Let's get this over with." _If he ever accuses me of being a spoilsport again…_

A half hour later, after sneaking through the woods with far more care and cunning than Kate thought was necessary for an all-in-good-fun ambush, they had their backs up against trees. Castle was pointing his index and middle fingers from his goggled eyes to hers and motioning to the kids, who were sitting around the fire laughing loudly about something. _How could Castle be so serious about this and so blithe over a dead body?_ Kate rolled her eyes at him and moved off the tree.

"Hey!" he hissed behind her. She hadn't waited for his signal that he'd coached her on repeatedly.

Kate circled around to the right, while Castle went left. Alexis was sitting in the 4 o'clock position from where they started. She was their initial target, though none of them would escape unscathed. An overzealous Castle fired first, getting Alexis's legs, over the fire. Kate's streaming shot hit Alexis from behind. Kate saw Castle sniper-roll behind Ajax's chair. Castle was still focused on Alexis, but quickly turned his attention to Ashley—maybe relishing the opportunity to shoot him just a little too much.

Kate turned to hit both Ajax and Kyle just as they began to stand. She stopped short at Devyn, not wanting to give the girl anymore ammo. Castle didn't spare her though, and Kate secretly hoped he'd drench the little brat. The girls were shrieking almost as soon as they started, while the boys were yelling. Marshmallows tumbled over the ground and drinks spilled. They'd created the chaos they intended to.

With their faces painted, it had taken the kids a little longer to recognize who they were and their initial panic was quite funny. Alexis was the first to realize it was them. She was quick to react, retrieving an ice-cold water bottle from a cooler. When she caught up with her dad, it went right down the back of his shirt. He screeched like a girl and between the kids and Castle, Kate momentarily felt bad for the other campers. But then she was avoiding the three boys who had decided to gang up on her—and somehow, Ajax had ended up with Castle's gun. Good thing she was quick and it was almost empty.

"Yo, Devyn," Kyle called, "Toss us another water bottle." Kate looked the boys were pouring the ice cold water into the Super Soaker.

"Oh, no, boys. We've had our fun."

"Unfair attack," Ajax said gesturing to the rest of them. "We weren't armed."

Kate looked around. She realized everyone had stopped to watch. Ashley looked hesitant. Castle was watching her intently wondering what she'd do. He thought it was a bit funny. He'd heard the boys deem her "hot" and that was mild considering some of the other terms they'd used. They'd also called her "Alexis' dad's girlfriend"—and he'd hummed at the thought.

"All right. Fair warning. You point that at me—either of those, and I'll take you both down." Ashley was out, she could see that. He was already heading back over by Alexis.

Ajax turned to Kyle. "Come on. She can't get us both and she's hardly wet."

Kate just looked at them, eyebrows raised. _Oh, so naïve._ Castle laughed, thinking they'd make for some dumb criminals. Kyle moved to twist the top off a second water bottle while Ajax pumped the water gun. Kate moved swiftly and approached them too quickly for them to think. They hadn't considered she'd go on the offense.

Quickly, she grabbed Ajax's upper arm and used his considerable weight to knock him into Kyle. At the same time, she positioned her leg behind Kyle's knee. She allowed Ajax' forward momentum to topple them both over her leg and, before they knew it, Ajax had Kyle pinned underneath him and they were each scrambling to get out of the position they'd landed in. They were lucky Kate guided them down as much as she did or they'd have hit much harder.

They may have been embarrassed, but they were also impressed. They each popped up saying "that was so cool!" and begging her to teach them how to do it. Kate wasn't sure, but she told them that maybe—maybe—she'd teach them some self-defense moves the next day. She'd used a modified take-down move on them, and she didn't want to teach them stuff like that, but she wasn't sure they would know the difference.

They all agreed to a truce, but Alexis crossed her fingers behind her back. She's already made her deal with Lanie—and she was far more interested in Lanie's take.

* * *

><p>Kate let the Castle change first because he was so soaked. He's been so kind as to remove his shirt and throw it over the top of the tent before stepping inside. Kate had been straddling the bench at the picnic table removing her war paint when she first caught sight of him.<p>

Her view was mostly of his back and side, but she was entranced with the way his muscles flexed. _His shoulders are so broad._ Nothing new there. She'd had that thought thousands of times. But he was lean, too, that much was obvious. No love handles, no poufs or pooches as far as she could see. _So why's he always hiding in those damn suit jackets?_ _Less so, in this warmer weather, but still._ He was solid, too, she knew. That's what came to mind every time she touched him. She wasn't touching him now, but she wanted to. The man exuded virility. She pressed the cool wash cloth over her face. She needed a full-body washcloth. A cold shower? Maybe the boys would break their truce and dump a bucket of ice water over her head?

In her lounge pants and her oldest, most comfortable sweatshirt, Kate expected to find everyone gathered around the fire. The kids, though, apparently didn't want to associate with their attackers because they'd set up around the second fire pit. They left only two camp chairs—the one that someone's flaming marshmallow had landed in during their ambush and the loveseat chair. It didn't leave Kate a lot of options. The marshmallow chair was definitely out and dragging the picnic table over seemed like more effort than it was worth, so she sat down next to Castle.

Castle looked at her in surprise. He looked around and, realizing her limited options had again worked out in his favor, he thanked the leprechauns and lucky stars and the ladybug that landed on his shirt earlier in the day. He stood up and Kate looked at him in confusion as he walked to the Explorer. He dug around in the back for a moment, and when she looked up at him again, he was holding a bottle of wine out for her approval.

Kate smiled. "I forgot the wine glasses. So Dixie cups," he said as he handed her two red, plastic cups and set to opening the bottle. "Actually they're SOLO cups, not Dixie cups…" he rambled. "Shouldn't diminish the redneck nature of the experience."

Kate took a sip of the wine, while he settled in beside her. "I'd say Rick Castle's redneck wine beats ghetto wine any day."

"You would say it, or you do?"

Kate elbowed him playfully. "I do."

Rick shifted on his side. "We should go steal back our chairs. This wasn't made to be confortable." It was true. Kate was leaning away from the center of her seat in in order to accommodate Rick's arm. There was no built-in arm rest, which she supposed would defeat the purpose.

"We could," she agreed. "But then we'd have to move." Neither made any attempt to do so. They just sat there uncomfortably, touching, but trying not to make it too obvious that they were each painfully aware that their sides were smooshed together.

_We're being ridiculous_, Kate thought to herself. _That's it_. She leaned forward and nudged her shoulder into Rick's armpit. She shifted sideways a bit and hooked her left leg over Rick's left knee and hugged his waist. She didn't want to think about it. She just did it. This new position would make it hard for her to drink her wine, but she didn't need to get sleepy too early tonight anyway…and the other benefits outweighed any downside.

Castle was as tense as she'd been earlier. With her ear pressed to his chest, she could hear the rapid BA-Boom, BA-Boom, BA-Boom as his heart raced. It matched her own. She'd heard once that people who laughed together shared the same heart rate. She wondered if it was the same for people who were… _Who were what together? Sitting together? Scared together? About to dive in together?_ She didn't know. Involuntarily, she gave him a small squeeze. Almost immediately, his arm sank further onto her back and he relaxed under her. His heartbeat slowed to something melodious and soothing.

"This is my new favorite chair," he whispered after a while, interrupting her count.

She managed a just barely audible "Shh."

She, Katherine Beckett, was cuddling with her friend. Her partner. Her writer. Her confidant. Her love. And not because there was anything wrong in either of their worlds, but because it felt right. She meditated on that a moment. _She _was _cuddling_. She was cuddling with Richard Castle. The man she loved. And it felt right. Someday soon, she would tell him as much.

* * *

><p>She'd gone from listening to his heartbeats to listening to him breathe in and out. They' stayed out by the fire for a good hour. <em>Maybe it was two?<em> She wasn't really sure. She hadn't been paying attention to the time. When they'd finally stirred, they'd walked to the vault outhouses together. Back at the campsite, they'd brushed their teeth together, spitting the foam into the edge of the woods where no one would walk. They'd entered the tent together; they'd removed watches together and tucked them into the tent pocket. They'd lain down together. They'd gone through all the motions of going to bed together, but they hadn't _gone_ to bed together.

It was a strange paradox, this mix of comfort and nervousness she felt around him. It's not like she hadn't brushed her teeth with a man there before. Or gone to bed with a man before. Hell, she'd even peed with a man in the bathroom with her—not that she'd done that with Castle, but she could hear him and she was sure he'd heard her, too. But what she couldn't get over was how _not_ perfunctory it all felt with Castle. It was strangely intimate, and fun. Yes, he'd made brushing her teeth fun—with a spitting contest. She could honestly say she'd never participated in a spitting contest until tonight. She'd lost, but she'd laughed.

So there was intimate and fun and unexpected. But there was also this _God damned_ ball of nerves sitting in her gut and shooting out from her core every time they touched, every time she thought of him and every time she second guessed something she'd said or done or something he'd said or done. She wondered, _if distance made the heart grow fonder, did proximity despoil reason and sanity? Did it cause the heart to explode?_

She'd been so hurt and confused this time last summer; she'd worked obsessively to avoid addressing how she'd crumbled. Now, here she was, still confused, lying next to the source of all her confusion. Her heart still felt like it was going to explode. Seriously, it felt enlarged or like her chest cavity was closing in around it. This time, she wouldn't crumble, she'd shatter; and she was so scared—absolutely terrified—of relying on someone else to hold her together. It was all so unfamiliar, so foreign, so un-Beckett. But she already didn't feel whole without him, so, really, there was no other option. And she wasn't looking for any. She didn't want or need outs. She just needed a little time to clear the path.

Kate's thoughts were interrupted by the "zshhuup" as a tent's zipper was raked across the tiny teeth holding it shut. Kate punched Rick's iPhone for the time—her game of keep-me-awake angry birds long since forgotten. 1:38 AM._ Little overzealous, kids? Gotta be Kyle._ Kate listened, unsure if she wanted to hear the second zip or not. If she did, she could just get this unpleasant, jerky adult stuff over with and go to sleep. If she didn't, she'd still be waiting, trying to fend off sleep. A second "zshhuup" followed within a couple minutes. No choice now—she'd promised Alexis.

Kate slipped into her sandals and quietly unzipped the tent. She'd learned long ago that you could zip and unzip a tent near soundlessly by placing a finger ahead of the slider. She didn't want to wake Rick and she wanted the element of surprise over the kids. They'd have to walk past their tent to head toward the river and Kate had timed it so that she'd step out as they were walking by.

She knew she'd startled them. It was bright enough out that they didn't need a flashlight, though all three carried one. Paige seemed relieved when she realized it was Kate, not Rick. For some reason, the thought that the girl was more terrified of Rick than her amused her.

"Oh, hey guys," she said quietly. "Heading to the bathroom, huh? Great! Now, I won't have to walk alone."

She knew they couldn't argue with her assumption.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Kyle stuttered.

"Actually, I think I'd prefer the flush bathrooms," Paige said. If she was going to use the bathroom, she was _not_ using an outhouse.

They were already heading in the wrong direction, if that was their destination.

"Good idea," Kyle said.

"I'll come with you," Kate said. "I wouldn't mind having lights, either," she explained.

The teens each depressed with her declaration. She could tell they wanted to talk to each other, but she stuck too close to give them a chance. She was reluctant and embarrassed and embarrassed for them. _Thank God no one ever did this to me!_

She and Paige entered the bathroom together. "Wait for me?" She asked before entering an empty stall. She waited for the girl to nod. When they came out and met Kyle, they headed back to their campsite, again silently. The two were walking very slowly. They came to Ajax's tent first. They all paused, while the kids waited for Kate to keep walking to her own tent.

"I'm feeling pretty awake," Kate lied. "You two want to start a fire with me? Sit up a while?"

Kyle caved first. "Nah, pretty tired. Guess, I'll just see you in the morning."

"M-me, too," Paige headed to her own tent.

Kate stayed out there a good 20 minutes, feeling chilly, but made enough noise digging around in coolers and walking around to let them know that she was up and wide awake. Kate entered the tent again as quietly as possible. Rick stirred, though.

"Kate?" he asked, lifting his head a little. She could hear the concern in his voice.

"Everything's fine, Rick. Go back to sleep."

She crawled in beside him, leaving her sweatshirt on. She was cold now, and thankful for the mix of blankets Rick packed. Her feet were freezing, though, and wouldn't warm up. She'd never been able to sleep with cold feet. She wanted to get her socks, but she didn't want to disturb Rick again. She could feel heat radiating off him. She didn't realize her feet had gravitated so near him.

"Feet. Cold. Kate." He sounded very caveman-like and not very awake. Quickly, she darted her feet away from him, but as she was moving her feet, a blanket-covered arm swiped over her and hauled her—blankets and all—up against him. His bare feet found hers and captured them between his own.

Kate inhaled quickly and exhaled slowly. She lips tightened into the faintest of smiles. It was a little painful, not the way he held her, but the way he made her heart ache with his care and tenderness—and he wasn't even awake! It was such a tiny thing, warming her feet, but no one had ever cared for her like that. A small tear formed in the corner of her eye. She felt like such a sap—Esposito had nothing on her.

* * *

><p>Kate awoke on her pillow, facing Rick. She opened her eyes to see the most beautiful, startlingly blue hue she'd ever seen. She'd seen it before, but not fresh from sleep. It was like her dream world was welcoming her to reality.<p>

"Good morning, Gorgeous."

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, it is a good morning." _And YES, you're _gorgeous_._ _And in a good mood_. "Are you always so cheery in the morning?"

"Nope." Castle reached over and brushed her hair back behind her ear causing it to trail off her neck and cheek. It tickled, and she fought a chill. He ran his finger down the line from the top of her ear to her lobe. She fought a bigger, deeper chill.

"You have funny ears."

She raised an eyebrow at him. It was not at all what she was expecting.

"Funny, fascinating ears." Castle almost laughed as her eyebrows now pulled together in confusion. "Most ears attach straight up and down. Yours slant back more than normal. They're adorable."

Kate was thinking that this man spent far too much time analyzing her parts to comment on such a small detail…her nose, her ears, her feet. On the other hand it was hard not to appreciate his attention to detail. _He'd be a good lover._ Kate flushed at the thought. Castle delighted momentarily in making his detective blush.

"Does it make me your Georgiana?" Castle was too caught up in the "me" and implied "yours" of her question to get what she meant at first. But when he caught up, he answered "no." For one, they weren't married. For another, he'd have to see her so called "imperfections" as imperfections. He supposed some did. _The little overlap at her teeth…the…_ He really couldn't think of anything else about her that one could deem an imperfection. Not physically anyway.

And he loved everything about her…her large white teeth, overlap and all. The way she smiled—occasionally so big he could see her gums. Her perfectly arched eyebrows over the most intriguing eyes he'd ever seen. Sometimes green, sometimes gold, sometimes brown or a weird bluish-greenish-greyish color or hazel. With long eyelashes. So long he'd seen her itch at her upper eyelids sometimes from where they'd fluttered against the soft skin there.

"Do you have a birthmark?" Castle asked, with a sudden desire to know. He hoped she wouldn't turn him down.

"You mean besides this thing on my face?" Kate asked. He'd begun to trace her hand which was lying palm up between them on her pillow. His light touch around her fingers tickled and created an incredible flutter below her belly button. She captured his fingers in her hand. He pressed down, lacing their fingers together.

"That's not a birthmark; it's a beauty mark," Castle said knowingly. He got the impression from the way Kate spoke that she wasn't all together fond of it. He supposed _that _could be something some men didn't like. He did, though. "Never more aptly placed," he added.

_Such a charmer._ "I do," she answered, lifting her eyes from where their hands were clasped together. "But, it's very faint and I'd have to shave my head for you to see it. You?"

"Yeah. It looks like a jagged light bulb. I wanted something cool like a spaceship or a shark, but Mother gave me this." He removed his hand from hers and raised his shirt to high under his right arm, and pointed to his rib cage, just under his armpit. "Marked me as an idea man early in life."

Kate leaned up and forward to look at the light brown mark. "Looks more like a jellyfish."

"What?" Castle exclaimed sounding offended. "No way. That's totally a lightbulb."

"What? You can barely even see it!" It was true. Castle had to contort his body to look at it.

"I've seen it plenty. It's a jellyfish."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

Kate pushed him down onto his back and leaned over him for her purse. She leaned back with a pen in her hand. "Come here. I'm gonna show you it's a jellyfish."

Kate braced her left hand on his side, loving the feel of his warm skin. She wanted to move her fingers along his side and enjoy his soft skin, but she left her hand flatly in place and started outlining his birthmark. It was small, about the size of the tip of her finger. When she was done, she grabbed his phone and took a picture of it.

"See? Jellyfish."

"That's not a jellyfish. Where'd you learn to draw?"

"I wasn't drawing. I was _outlining_."

"Still doesn't look like a jellyfish."

"It looks more like a jellyfish than a light bulb."

"Kinda looks like a squid."

"Which looks like a freaking jellyfish!"

"Dad? Kate?" They heard from outside the tent. "I don't know what you're arguing about, but you promised us pancakes and eggs."

"I promised nothing, Lex." Kate said unzipping the tent, and let the flap fall in. "Tell your father I'm right."

"She's right, Dad." Her father was behind Kate, changing his shirt. Kate turned to gloat, but his half-nakedness retarded her thoughts.

Castle watched her mouth open and close twice before she closed it once and for all and pursed her lips and swallowed nothing. She hadn't taken her eyes off his chest, and her pupils had thickened. Castle's chest swelled when he realized the effect he was having on her. He'd seen it before, of course, but she was slow to hide it this morning. He couldn't help it as a grin grew on his face.

Seeing what was happening, Alexis moved away. So, so weird seeing women ogling her dad. Worse to see her dad enjoy it. More than anything, she knew it was going to mortify Kate.

Alexis movement brought Kate back, and she was pissed. She backhand his chest. "Dammit, Castle! Don't get undressed in front of me." She grabbed her bag and flew out of the tent toward the bathroom and showers.

It was ridiculous, she knew. They were camping. She'd been seeing shirtless men all weekend. _Far_ too many that shouldn't be seen without shirts. And she'd seen Castle, too. But it was different in the light of day. She'd just been drawing on his rib cage, relaxed and in good fun, doing a good job of keeping hormones in check. And in the next moment that was all shot to hell. _God, I'm a mess._

* * *

><p>Castle was an excellent cook even removed from his kitchen. His blueberry pancakes and scrambled omelet eggs were delicious. They'd eaten every last pancake and scraped the egg pan clean. And the boys were still eating. She'd thought the amount of food Castle had insisted on buying to go camping was ludicrous. When they'd made back to his place and were unloading and packing up the dry goods, trying to find more space in the bins for everything Castle insisted on bringing, she'd assured him there was no way they'd eat all this food.<p>

"_Have you ever fed teenage boys?"_

"_No, but neither have you."_

"_Ah, but I was a teenage boy."_

_Kate shook her head and looked to Martha for some backup, but she was nodding. Kate must have had a confused look on her face, because Martha answered her unspoken question._

"_Really, Dear. You've seen how he eats now. That's toned down. And you'll have three teen boys to feed. And one of them is a mighty fine looking athlete."_

"_Mother!"_

"_Gram!"_

"_What? Athletes have bigger appetites. That's all."_

She was wrong. Already, they'd been to the camp store for more eggs and bread.

"So what's the plan for today?" Kate asked, while they were cleaning up.

"No plan." Castle said. "I wasn't going to mention the hot air balloon thing—unless you want to go?"

Kate shook her head no. "I'm content to watch from afar," she said.

Rick smiled at her. The shower seemed to have calmed her nerves, and she was back to the relaxed Kate they'd had since the beginning of the camping trip. _Intriguing, intriguing woman._

* * *

><p><em>They couldn't have asked for a better day<em>, Kate thought, holding up binoculars. Some of the balloons were closer than others. She'd been surprised at how many were shaped. So far, her favorite was the one shaped like Noah's ark with animals jutting out of all the windows and growing off the deck. She couldn't believe it could fly. The one she was looking at now was just a logo. She handed the binoculars to Lex, who was leaned up against the upside-down "V" of her drawn up knees, reading a book of her own and building little grass mounds all around her.

"You're right, Lex. Boring."

Alexis' favorite was Gumbi. Her dad liked the traditional, colorful balloons, but this wasn't one of them, so she didn't bother him to look. She commented about doubting they'd see too many more, given the time and the number they'd seen already.

Paige had given up looking with them a while ago and went back over by Devyn, to take more pictures of the boys playing basketball. Kate had played a round with them earlier, after trying to get her dad to play, too. That had been fun to watch. But her dad wasn't willing to do more than play "PIG"—which, it turned out, he was very good at.

Kate dropped her book to her side and turned to look at Rick. He'd stolen her pillow while she was playing basketball with the boys and wouldn't give it up, so she was using him as her pillow. He hadn't minded. In fact, at some point his fingers had absent-mindedly snaked into her hair to gently massage her scalp. His hand would leave her head while he flipped a page, and then return. Leave, and then return. She didn't think he knew he was doing it, and she didn't mind. It felt nice. Relaxing. It about put her to sleep for a while after she no longer had her book to concentrate on.

She'd always been a bit of a sucker when it came to a boy in a ball cap. She just didn't know how much of a sucker she was until she saw Rick Castle in a ball cap. _Talk about weak knees._ Between his black, fitted baseball cap—no logo or anything, just a small Green Lantern symbol on the back—and his black, fitted v-neck…she was at risk of coming undone. She couldn't believe he was even wearing a hat—allowing something to touch his much fussed over locks. But he was. And all she could hear was Lanie in her head saying things like _Da-amn, Girl! He looks fah-ine! _and _Mmmm, Mmmm, MMmmm!_

Incidentally, they kind of matched. No hat for Kate though, and he had on cargo style plaid shorts, in white, greys, blacks and blues. Kate was in her board shorts—also black and blue with white piping—and black scoop neck tank. She'd pulled her hair into a loose braid after it dried. Rick seemed to like the braids. He'd made a point to tug on them a couple of times when teasing her. Now that _really_ reminded her of her grandfather—_and_ the words she'd said to him so long ago. And he was here still.

Kate grabbed her braid and used the tip of it to tease the inside of Rick's arm. He was so concentrated on the novel he was reading, she couldn't resist. His arm twitched, like he had a bug crawling on him. She waited a moment and did it again. He twitched again. She did it again, wondering how long it would take for him to catch on. His book came down and he scratched the spot with the spine of the paperback.

She did it again, very lightly, only this time she trailed a longer path, higher up the inside of his arm. She was hitting all those sensitive spots.

Rick's arm came down and flopped heavily on her stomach, with book in hand, startling Alexis, who'd been blissfully oblivious to what Kate was doing.

"Oh, my God!" he said. "You're a pest." He said it, not in anger, but with the delight of a man who'd just discovered something new.

"I'm not a pest," she defended. She was totally a pest and she knew it. "I'm bored. You promised to keep me entertained."

"Well,_ I_ am working." He was supposed to speak at Vanderbilt on developing a character's voice and the importance of colloquialism to establishing the character in the correct time and space. He'd chosen a few works by Mark Twain, this novel and, of course, one of his own to help draw the comparisons.

"How's it feel to be interrupted?"

"Something tells me if I pulled out tickle torture while you were at work, I'd be a dead man."

"Something tells me you're right, Dad," Alexis said beside them.

"You know…someone who hates to be tickled, probably shouldn't tickle others."

Kate's eyes widened. She thought she'd hidden that! _He's moving._ She heard him say something about "get her" and "not at work now," but it didn't fully register until after he had his hands on her. _Alexis! _The teen was lying across her knees, holding her down. She couldn't knee her! She didn't want to hurt her. Rick, maybe, but not Alexis.

She shimmied and squirmed under their fingers and shrieked girly, embarrassing, laugh-filled shrieks that made her assailants laugh even harder and falter in their efforts. Kate gave up trying to get back at either one of them; she couldn't move her arms away from her body without one of them seizing on the spot it opened up. Instead, she grasped around her. She found one of the grass mounds Alexis had made. She threw the first one at Alexis, knowing it would throw her off. With Alexis off her now, she grabbed another grass pile and threw it in Rick's face, rolling out of his reach as she did.

Kate couldn't even speak; she was doubled over, looking at the two sputtering to get grass out of their mouths. They were all laughing that silent, gaspy laugh that made your insides hurt.

"If either of you _ever_ tries to tickle me again, I will not be so nice!" Kate warned. But she didn't sound very threatening, and neither looked too concerned.

The commotion they'd created drew the other five over to them. The boys talked her into that self-defense lesson, so she happily volunteered Castle for the demonstrations.

* * *

><p>Kate went to bed before Rick again. Even though they hadn't really done anything, most of the afternoon, she wasn't used to so much sun. It had a way of wearing one out. That, and the game of Capture the Flag they'd played. Plus, she'd had less sleep than he had after waiting up for Kyle and Paige.<p>

Capture the Flag had been fun. They'd played down by the river with a couple of kids the teens had met. The girls had insisted on boys vs. girls—an arrangement Kate found completely unbalanced. _Did they want to lose? _Castle could tell she wasn't pleased with the teams. She hated to lose and her team didn't stand a chance. At least the sister who had joined, Candace, had some street smarts and wasn't afraid to get dirty.

They'd still lost miserably. Kate wondered if the girls were incapable of running—even jogging! She'd never seen such a frill-filled effort. It's like they wanted the boys to catch them! _Oh, crap! _Kate thought. _That's exactly what they'd wanted. And the boys had been happy to chase and catch them. _

She'd caught Castle, though. She'd wound up on his back in an effort to keep him from reaching her—_their_—flag, but Ajax had come up behind them and swiped it out of the tree. She _knew_ they should have put it up higher, but the girls didn't want to make it _too_ hard. Kate fell asleep thinking about the question that had been the theme of one of her literature courses in college: _If you plan to fail, and succeed, have you failed or succeeded?_

* * *

><p>Rick woke with his right hand clasped over Kate's left breast. His fingers contracted slightly with the realization. He froze. Then he felt her body react. Her breast tensed under his palm. Her nipple beaded and pressed against his hand. There was nothing between them now except her thin, soft tee.<p>

It had been so damn long since he'd been with a woman. No one would believe him, but it had been since Gina, since before Christmas. _Months. _Long _months._ In which he'd ached for this woman who was now here beside him, basically in his bed. He looked at her face, so perfect, and traced the line where her dark hair met creamy skin with his eyes. His eyes followed the line from her nose to her mouth where her lips where parted. They twitched slightly.

Castle pulled his hand slightly away from her experimentally. Her lips twitched down into a frown. He settled his hand back where it was and they twitched upward again. Emboldened, Castle drew his fingers back along her breast until he held just the tip of her nipple. Her lips made a little "o" or kissing motion. Castle circled her nipple with his index finger, wishing it was his tongue. Her lips parted a little more.

_Boyfriend, be damned_, he thought. He wanted her. _Why couldn't she see that? That they'd be great together?_ _Forget this being friends shit. This giving her space. This backing off._ Castle wanted to provoke her, wanted her to admit that this, _this_, wasn't just between friends. They weren't just friends. Just partners.

_Sometimes, it's easier to apologize than ask for permission. _Castle knew that. And he knew exactly what he was doing when he bent down and captured her lips with his own. He didn't wait to slip his tongue into the confines of her mouth, still dry with sleep.

Kate responded immediately, and was awake instantly. She knew it wasn't a dream, but she didn't want to open her eyes for the irrational fear that it would all go away and be over. Her hands grazed up Castle's chest and clasped together behind his head. She drew him closer to her, as close as she could. She didn't need air. She needed him.

And she had him. His mouth was insistent against her own. Their mouths didn't collide after they first touched; they never even parted. He never lifted away from her, only increased the pressure, and she held him there tightly. His tongue was in her mouth as deep as it could go, and hers had long since slipped past the barrier of their lips to discover the taste and sensations of his mouth. Their tongues dashed and dared and tested the other's dexterity.

It wasn't pretty, she knew. Definitely not the stuff movies are made of. It was incensed. Their want made them aggressive where they were joined, but Castle's touches were gentle. Kate felt his caresses along her cheek, and shivered when his hand ran down her side. She ached to have him back at her breast and arched into him, but he didn't go there. She caressed his jaw with one thumb, while her other hand slipped down the back of his shirt and pressed him closer to her. She moaned; she knew it was his name because aside from recognizing that this had been too long denied, "Rick" was the only thing she could think. But her moan was lost in their kiss.

_Do it now, Rick. It has to be now._ He knew he had to break from her first in order for this to work. That's part of the reason he never pulled away, never gave her a chance to back away. _Just a little longer._ Rick swiped his tongue around hers one more time. _Do it now._

Suddenly, Castle sat upright, dragging her with him. Their lips smacked apart.

"What the hell, Castle?" Kate exclaimed. _Why'd he stop?_

"I am so, so sorry, Kate. Beckett. I never—I shouldn't have. I'm sorry." Alexis wasn't the only one who inherited some of Martha's acting skills.

"Rick—"

"I'm sorry, Beckett—"

"Kate." _Why is he putting shoes on?_

"—I should have never put you in that position. I know you're not a cheater. And neither am I and—"

"You're right. I'm not a cheater, but Castle, _Rick_, Josh and I are—"

"Beckett, please. I feel bad enough as it is. Let's not make it worse. We'll just go back. Forget this ever happened. You have before."

"What do you mean _I_ have before?"

"No, it's okay. I get it. You have a boyfriend. You should forget it."

He unzipped the tent.

"What if I don't want—Where are you going?"

"Space, right? You probably want space."

"No, wait! We need to talk about this!" she hissed.

"I know. Don't worry. I'll never mention it again. To anyone. Ever. Don't worry. I can pretend it never happened as well as you can."

"Castle!" she whisper-hissed at his retreating back. _Dammit!_

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks to NikkiDog for the "how to get back at Alexis" ideas! Hope you like what I decided on. I thought it suited Kate and Rick well. <strong>

**And FINALLY their first (second?) kiss. Do you approve of my treatment?**


	44. Ch 44 Splinter

**Hello amazing people!**

_Recap: They kissed. Castle ran. But his actions were intentional to draw Kate out._

* * *

><p>Chapter 44 – Splinter<p>

The whole way home Kate had contemplated going to Lanie and trying to talk this out. Castle was doing just as he promised—being his normal self. Maybe less joking, but it was hard to say. He seemed tired, and she really hadn't spent that much time with him. Certainly no time _alone_ with him—not that she hadn't tried.

They'd left the campground just after breakfast and driven straight home, stopping only once for gas and bathroom breaks. Kate dropped the girls off, took Alexis home, gave Castle back his car keys, sorted out her stuff and her dads, and went home. She'd showered twice to get the smell of camp smoke out of her hair, washed all her camping clothes and bedding and tried to take a nap. The whole time she'd been weighing what to do about Castle.

She couldn't figure him out. She decided she needed Lanie—even though Lanie was still lording something over her and she didn't know what it was. Kate texted her to let her know she was coming over, but didn't get a reply back.

"Come in!" Lanie called after she knocked. Kate shook her head. Someday she was going to come in wearing a ski mask, carrying a baseball bat, just to teach Lanie a lesson.

"Kitchen," Lanie called.

Kate stepped through the swinging doors. "I take it Javier's not here?"

"Nope. Just stepped out. Jenny and Kevin are on their way over though. You're staying for dinner. Just let me finish frying this up."

Kate pulled a mug from the cupboard and poured a cup of coffee. _Must be Esposito's doing_, she thought, knowing Lanie liked her teas and hot chocolate.

"How long before they get here?"

"Oh, so _now _you wanna talk to me?"

"Lanie, don't be like that. I know you've got something going with Alexis."

"Well I wouldn't have to have something going with Alexis if you'd just fess up. I asked you point blank if there was anything going on with Castle and you told me 'no'—"

"I told you the truth and—"

"_And?_ And then I find out from Alexis—_Alexis_, you're shacking up with Castle."

"I'm not 'shacking up' with Castle."

"Oh, so you didn't fall asleep in each other's arms when Castle was sick?"

"Lanie, that was—"

"And you _didn't _share a tent this weekend?"

Kate blushed. "Just what kind of deal have you got going with Alexis anyway?"

"The kind that'll help me recoup some cash."

"Lanie, I've told you before to stop betting on us."

"Why should I?"

"I didn't bet on you."

"'Cuz I'm un-predictable."

"Because you've done so well prognosticating about us thus far."

"Different this time."

"Why's that?"

"I've got Alexis."

"Isn't that cheating?"

"I wouldn't have to if you'd tell me these things."

"What's her cut?"

"I think you underestimate how much she likes you, Kate. It's just a knowledge share. What she does with hers is up to her."

Kate locked away the first part of that statement to come back to later. There was something just under the surface that she wanted to link it to, but she hadn't quite grasped it yet.

"And this is why I don't tell you things. How'm I supposed to know where it's gonna end up?"

"Like I'd ever say anything to anyone about anything you've ever told me in confidence. Stuff I see, stuff I think, sharing ideas…that's another story."

"You can't just let me do this on my own time?"

"You take too long! You've been fighting this thing—how many years? Bet you're still gonna tell me there's nothing going on between you two, right?"

"Wrong."

"Huh?"

"No."

"What?"

"No, I'm not going to tell you that there's nothing going on between Castle and me."

There was a long pause. Lanie didn't seem to know what to say as she shifted from one bare foot to the other. "Oh" was all she managed. Finally, a smile grew on her face. "Well, I didn't put money on this weekend 'cuz I was sure you meant it when you said you were waiting for Josh to get back, but I'm happy for you girl. It's about damn time!"

"Whoa, Lanie. Not 'something'like _that_," Kate stressed. "Just…something." She offered a little shrug to go along with her perplexed expression. "Kind of. Or—I don't know. Definitely something…but I don't know."

"O-kay," Lanie said slowly. Her girl was definitely stressed. "So, you wanna talk about it?"

"That's why I'm here—and…I need a favor."

"So? What are we talking here if not getting it on?"

Kate didn't answer right away while she tried to figure out what to say. She wasn't sure how to explain it and she wasn't the type to just come out and say it.

"Holding hands?" Lanie asked.

Kate's initial reaction was to shake her head 'no,' but then she remembered grabbing Castle's hand at her dad's, leading him to her grandmother's house. She had a chance to let go, but she didn't. She wasn't sure it counted though, so she shrugged.

"Flirting?"

Kate nodded, but that was kind of a given. She could see even Lanie agreed. She was only asking to see if Kate was going to lie to her.

"Canoodling?"

Again, Kate gave it a moment's thought. _Was canoodling different than cuddling?_ Either way, she'd woken up spooning him once, in his arms another time and with her hand across his chest. Plus, there was the loveseat chair, so she nodded again.

"Kissing?"

Kate's gave a short, curt nod. That's what she'd been waiting for Lanie to get to.

"Something not quite sex but close to it?"

Kate shook her head.

"So these kisses? Better than last time?"

"Not plural. Just one long kiss."

"Initiated by?"

"Rick. Saturday night. I woke up in the middle of the night and he was, uh…touching me." Kate flushed recalling his fingertips lightly pinching her. "And then he was kissing me."

"Better than before?"

Kate thought briefly. _Was it better?_ It wasn't really a question of better or not. There was less adrenaline, less riding on it, and it wasn't as…_as classy? _But it was private, _definitely_ more penetrating…and _not_ a pretense. And it was just as magnetic and provocative. She thought of his whiskers pressed into her chin and raking across her upper lip and her flush deepened and rose to her neck. She knew she had a lot of sleepless nights ahead of her.

Lanie raised her eyebrows at her—Kate hadn't said a word, but she was a doctor, an M.E., and she might not be as good at reading people as Kate, but she was better at collecting evidence. Her attention to detail was top notch. Kate's patchy-looking chest and neck, along with the way her pupils had widened and the slight flare of her nostrils, were easy tells that her girl was quite literally hot for Castle.

"Um, I kinda like kissing Castle—or when he kisses me."

"Clearly."

"But, uh, he ran away."

"'Scuse me?"

"Just all of a sudden stopped. Started throwing out apologies. Talking about how I have a boyfriend and how neither of us are cheaters and 'let's just forget this ever happened.'" She didn't tell Lanie he emphasized _she'd_ been the one who buried it before. _It wasn't like he'd ever brought it up either._

"No way."

"Swear to God, Lanie. You'd think I pulled my gun on him."

"The way Writer Boy's been waiting on you?"

Kate shrugged.

"That's so adorable."

"What? Adorable? What's so adorable about him making me feel like a flippin' fool?"

"Well, I guess he meant it when he said he wants you all to himself, right? I mean, here he has this opportunity to have you all to himself—yet, so far as he knows, you're still with Josh. Proves you were right, too."

"How so?"

"Well, you said he wouldn't settle for less than your everything."

Kate nodded her accord.

"So, you got into a fight?"

"No, not exactly. He didn't stick around long enough. I'm not kidding when I say he was out of there like a flash. Didn't even give me a chance to—"

"Nuh-uh, Kate. Don't even try to tell me that you didn't get a word in edgewise. Not going to believe it."

"A few, Lanie."

"And 'Josh and I are through' somehow escaped your vocabulary?"

"I tried to tell him, Lanie, but one mention of Josh and he about flew off the handle accusing me of…of treating the last time like it was meaningless—and that I should just forget this one, too. So, yeah, I may have gotten a little testy. God, Lanie, you'd think he knows me better than that! He's so good at…at knowing exactly what I need or want most of the time. But this stuff?"

"'Cuz he can't think straight around you, Baby. And let's be straight. Writer Boy's getting all kinds of mixed signals from you—especially lately! Hugging in the stairwell, going on vacation with him when you wouldn't go with Josh—"

"He wanted me to go to Africa!"

"To a resort in Africa, and you want _camping_—with bugs and dirt and shared showers—with Castle. If Josh had wanted to take you camping, you'd have said no way in hell."

"Can't imagine he'd have ever asked. He's rarely seen me lounge around my apartment. Has no idea—"

Lanie wasn't really listening to her. _Who cared what Josh knew, so long as he knew they were through?_ "You know, if you don't get off your ass and tell that boy about you and Josh, _I'm_ going to."

"Okay," Kate nodded.

"Has a right to know."

"Yeah."

Lanie looked up at Kate in confusion. _Was she actually agreeing with her?_

"That's the favor. I need you to tell Rick."

"You're telling me you're too yellow-bellied to do this yourself? Where's your backbone, Kate?"

"It's there, Lanie. You don't…you don't understand. I'm not saying I won't tell him. I'm just saying if it comes up _naturally_, tell him. I'm not asking you to keep it from him anymore. But with us, it's that big elephant in the room with Rick and me. The defenses come up."

She looked up to find Lanie shaking her head.

"Hey! It's not like I didn't try to tell him, Lanie. I ran after him. Looked all over for him, but I couldn't find him anywhere and he never came back to bed. I think he came back eventually and slept in one of the vehicles, but—."

"You really looked for him?"

"I wanted to set things straight. I still need to deal with Josh, but—"

"Chica?" They heard Javi call. It sounded like he was just walking in. "You naked?" he asked as he pushed open the kitchen door.

"Javier Esposito. I wasn't naked when you left. What makes you think I'd be naked now?"

"Wishful thinking," he said, wrapping his arms around Lanie from behind and kissing her neck. He'd noticed Kate sitting on the counter as soon as he turned into the kitchen. "Hey, Beckett."

Kate was glad he wasn't at all embarrassed to show her girl affection in front of her now. Besides, it was cute to see Lanie blush.

"Go. Find out where Jenny and Kev are. I'm hungry!"

"They're on their way up. Saw 'em looking for a parking spot on my way in."

Lanie handed Kate a stack of plates. "Living room."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Lanie and Esposito fed their guests tacos—with diced tomato and lettuce provided by Ryenny. Kate was pretty sure Esposito still had his apartment, but even the TV Castle had given him was at Lanie's now. They ate and talked, while Kate filled them in on some of the lighter aspects of their camping trip—mostly the rock climbing, which had been a highlight for her—and their ambush on Alexis. They'd just started a game of Cuarenta when they were interrupted by Lanie's phone.

She took one look at the number and groaned. She answered.

"And three. Two. One." Ryan counted, his fingers puncturing the air.

Esposito's phone rang.

"Vacay's over, Beckett."

Ryan kissed Jenny and gave her the keys to head home. The other four piled into Esposito and Ryan's cruiser. That had been awkward, though they shared a laugh over it. No one knew where to sit. Beckett was used to driving. Ryan was used to riding shotgun in the cruiser. Lanie was used to riding with Esposito—he even drove when they took her car. The ended up boys in front, girls in back.

Kate decided to take the opportunity to call Castle. She wasn't entirely sure he wanted to see her.

"Castle." He answered.

"Hey, Castle. We've got a body. Three actually."

"Oh, um. That's great."

"People were murdered, Castle. Not great."

"I meant. Oh…I'm, uh, kinda in the middle of something."

"Oh." _She so did not want to know._ But then she heard Alexis in the background. Kate leaned forward and into the side of the door. She lowered her voice. "You not avoiding me again, are you, Rick?"

"No, Beckett, I'd be there, it's just…Mother's kind of hysterical right now. We're, uh, trying to calm her down. And I'm in the middle of making her favorite cookies."

"Calm her down? Why? What happened?" she asked, concerned and no longer whispering.

"She…" Kate heard him turn rustling about.

"If now's a bad time…"

"No. Well, yeah, but…" he lowered his voice and she knew he'd probably turned away from everyone else. "Some guy offered her a Senior's discount."

Kate laughed. Three heads in the car turned toward her.

"It's not funny, Kate. Well, it is, but I'm not kidding about the hysterics. Full-on paper bag panic attack earlier. Tears. Streaking mascara. Wailing. It's not pretty."

"Well, uh, is there anything I can do?" she asked, trying not to laugh.

"Any chance you can find the bastard responsible for this mayhem and arrest him?"

"Not unless he kills someone."

"He's killing me! We've been through her old movies and musicals and…ugg, watching my mother kiss people and in bed in old _Temptation Lane_ stuff…The stuff nightmares are made of, let me tell you!"

Esposito parked the car. "You'll live. See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Or you can call me later."

"See you tomorrow."

The all four stepped out, slamming car doors in unison.

"Are you guys always together?" Perlmutter asked when they entered the pharmacy. "What, no pet?"

"What have we got?" Beckett asked, skipping over the pleasantries.

* * *

><p>Outside of the one-sided bellows coming from the captain's office and despite the number of people, there was a deafening silence in the bullpen. Beckett and Castle looked at each other and then to Ryan and Esposito who'd come in ahead of them with their suspect.<p>

"Where's de la Rosa?" Beckett asked, shrugging out of her leather jacket. They'd caught their suspect in a lie—he'd either killed their pharmacists or he knew who did. Beckett was sure of it. After the last four days and non-stop nights, knocking on far too many doors, and the two foot chases they'd endured to narrow their pool to this guy, Beckett's team was looking forward to wrapping this case up.

"What's going on?" Castle asked, nodding toward the office while Ryan was busy answering Beckett's question.

"No idea, Bro."

"But," Ryan chirped in, "Karpowski said it sounded like he was on the phone with IA."

"IA?" Kate asked.

Karpowski came up beside Kate. "Honestly, I don't know what's going on, but he's been yelling into that phone on and off for the last half hour. Threw something at the blinds earlier. But heads up for you, Officer Michaels said 'So Beckett and Castle, huh?' and 'Finally' to me."

Karpowski didn't pry. She didn't joke about collecting. She didn't ask any questions at all. She just felt bad for the woman beside her as her brow furled. She had a lot of respect for Beckett, and regardless of what was or wasn't going on between Castle and Beckett, she thought they deserved privacy. It didn't mean she wasn't in the "Will they? Won't they? and When?" pool, but when it came to prying into her colleague's life, that didn't amuse her in the least. Still, something was going down. She was sure it had to do with Beckett and Castle, and she had a feeling it wasn't going to be good.

Kate didn't have time to worry about what that meant. She was in the middle of an investigation, low on sleep and not prepared to deal with another round of rumors. And her desk phone was ringing. She looked at the blinking lights and wondered how many of the messages were related to her current case. She could tell the call was from the front desk so she answered rather than letting it go to voicemail.

"Beckett."

"Detective Beckett? I've got a bunch of people down here wanting to see you. There's Castle's daughter, Alexis Castle, a Martha Rodgers, a Paige—"

Beckett cut him off. "Are they all together?"

She heard him double check with the group. "Yes, Ma'am."

"Okay, send them up."

Beckett motioned to Castle to help her turn the murder board around. She did a quick survey to see what the other detectives had out and around. She was the only one who relied on the white board to keep track of their timelines. The other detectives used paper notes or software, so there wasn't anything to hide.

The elevators opened and three women and two burgeoning women rushed out toward Kate, ignoring everyone else. In a moment, Kate had Martha wrapped on one side of her with Alexis crushed between them and Paige on the other side telling her she was "so, so sorry."

With one arm wrapped around Kate and the other trapped between her and Alexis, Kate looked up at the two women in front of her. Between the Mother's Day Brunch, shopping and camping, she'd met Paige's mom, Kim, enough times that the woman had insisted on a first-name basis the last time they spoke. The other woman was familiar, but Kate was having a hard time placing her—until her mind caught up with the words coming out of the woman's mouth.

"I'm so sorry, Detective Beckett. I knew she blamed you, but, the trip, I didn't know you were you—"

"Or Rick's friend," Kim added. "We never put two and two together. Of course, that's no excuse."

"No excuse?" Kate asked. Then it finally clicked.

"Mrs. Stahl?" she questioned, addressing the woman who's life she'd ruined last summer when she and Ryan showed up to verify another woman's alibi. Unfortunately, the woman's alibi had been Mr. Stahl. She glanced at Ryan for confirmation and he nodded.

"It's just Lewis now. I went back to my maiden name after—after—I am _so_ sorry. I tried to make Devyn come down here to apologize, but she wouldn't. She just ran off. I'm so sorry. I never dreamed she'd do something like this."

"Like this?" Kate hated feeling stupid and left in the dark.

"Devyn—" Kim started.

"Mother, what's going on?" Castle asked from the other side of Paige and Kate. It was the first time he'd spoken since the women entered the bullpen.

"Richard, Dear. You haven't seen?"

"Seen what?"

"_New York_ magazine," she answered, digging into the over-sized bag she had chosen for the day, but Kim was quicker and offered him her copy, folded open.

"I'm so sorry, Rick," she said. "We had no idea Devyn would do something like this."

"I followed all the rules, I swear, Mr. Castle," Paige said, finally releasing Kate as she turned to her best friend's dad. "I didn't post any pictures where they can identify you and the pictures of Alexis are only tagged like she said was okay. And I didn't post any of Detective Beckett."

Kate turned to Alexis, who had only squeezed her tighter after Paige let go. She worked her arm free and put it around the girl.

"It's about you, Kate. The whole thing." She was praying Kate wouldn't hate them. "We think Devyn stole her camera…or at least the flash card for a little while."

Kate turned to look at Castle. His jaw was locked and he looked both raging and fearful. She wanted to look; she wanted to know what he was reading. But she didn't. She wanted to run and hide and burrow under the covers in the darkest corner she could find. But she didn't.

Instead, she shrugged Alexis off her, and gave the girl's hand a weak squeeze. She turned toward the women before her.

"If you'll excuse me, I have a suspect to interrogate. Kate grabbed the file from her desk and she looked up at Ryan and Esposito, who stood close by throughout that whole exchange, then Castle, who was still reading.

Castle finished reading just as Beckett paused slightly beside him. He didn't have to look up. He knew he was supposed to follow. Castle gripped the magazine in his hands. He'd never read anything so quickly in his life. They'd devoted a two-page spread in _New York_—a weekly magazine well known for being on top of life, culture, fashion and entertainment in the Big Apple—to Detective Katherine Beckett.

Kate closed the door to Observation 2 behind them and reached for the magazine that Castle was already holding out for her. He didn't want to give it to her. He wanted to prevent her from ever seeing—from ever being—on these pages to being with.

Kate read the headline: "More than a Muse? Richard Castle's New Lady Love." Her eyes flicked to the photos. The main one on the facing page was of just her. Paige had taken it when they were on the cliff. She had her arms folded over her drawn up knees and she'd been resting her head there while she watched Rick and Alexis in a mock fencing match with plastic forks they'd used at lunch. Well, she'd been a little more focused on Rick, analyzing that whole melty-heart feeling she had, when Paige called her name.

She had to give the girl credit. Between the soft focus and the way Kate, with her cheek resting on her forearms, nearly filled the frame—with only a little bit of blue-grey sky peeking in around her, it looked like a professional photo she'd posed for. The other photos on the two pages in front of her were more candid.

There was a cluster of three that were of her and Rick. One she'd seen before—it was of them dancing at the Village Pourhouse. Then there was one of them just sitting at the picnic table, legs stretched out in front of them. Finally, there was one where Paige—who had given up on Capture the Flag—had apparently captured the moment when Kate jumped on Rick's back. It was odd to see. She just remembered being ticked that they were losing, but Rick was grinning in the photo and she looked like she was having fun as well.

There was another photo of just her, coming out of the precinct. Based on the brown leather jacket, blue shirt and hairdo, it was safe to say someone snapped that photo early on Monday. The last photo angered her the most. It was of the three of them when they were lying in the grass reading and watching the hot air balloons. All three of them were reading at the time this one was taken. Kate wasn't really reading captions as she glanced over the article, but "Alexis" in this one caught her eye.

It didn't take Kate long to glance through the photos. She folded the magazine shut and then tossed it on the shelf with the recording equipment. She shook her head. She knew Castle was watching her closely, but she couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes. She was angry. Embarrassed. Hurt. She couldn't hide that from him, but she knew it wasn't his fault and she was doing everything she could to keep from blaming him or allowing him to blame himself. He was already regretting kissing her. She didn't want him regretting the whole dang weekend!

Castle was afraid to do so much as take a deep breath. She was hiding from him, but she hadn't run. Maybe only because there was still work to be done—starting with their suspect who had been waiting for them for over an hour now.

"What's it say?" Kate finally forced herself to ask.

He knew it was coming, but if there was ever a time he didn't want to speak, didn't want to answer her, didn't want to be truthful with her, it was now. She finally wasn't running from him. Instead, she'd moved toward him. Called out to him. _Run after_ _him_. She'd made him promise they'd talk after this case was over. Every effort he'd made—the bold step he'd taken… He'd raised to call her bluff, and she'd folded. Quietly, and without showing her cards—but, still, she'd folded. Sure, it had involved an element of subterfuge, of pretending to be sorry for something he'd done intentionally, but it had worked! And now it was all going to be for naught. Not that this was his biggest concern. No he was much more concerned with how this article would impact Kate.

"Well, they like you. Paint you as strong, independent, hard-working—an asset to the NYPD. Intelligent. Driven. Beautiful, obviously. Nikki-like, less the stripper aspects—something they actually comment on. They do a little 'fact-fiction' comparison section in the sidebar. Despite the title, there's hardly any mention of me—or Alexis. More to say that we we're close, work together, went camping together…It's more implied that you and I are a given—and more than friends. If you wanted attention, it would be a quite flattering piece. But…"

This was going to be the hard part. "Kate." She wouldn't raise her head. "Look at me, Kate." Still, she didn't move. Castle raised his hands in front of her, hoping she didn't have her eyes squeezed shut and knew what he was doing.

Kate felt his hand tremble under her chin; it was still shaking when he drew it away after lifting her eyes to him. She didn't want to know. She didn't.

"They dug up Nikki's back story, Kate. All of it. It's all there—even a quote about your dad and some dipshit here talked about how you had to shoot Coonan, how you're still looking for the man who hired him. It's not focused on, but it's…they've made you their tragic heroine."

Kate's couldn't prevent the shock and pain from leaping to the forefront. Part of her mind was screaming, _No you did this to me!_ They never had any interest in her at all before he'd shown up. Blaming him wasn't fair, she knew, but he was there. _That's right, he _is_ here. He's here. Now. Still._ And she wouldn't change that even if she could. Physically, though, he was too near. Too far away to lean into, but still too near. He was too close to her for the lashing out she was struggling to tamp down. She wasn't sure if she wanted him there or if she wanted him to leave. The only thing she was sure of was that she had a suspect to interrogate.

"I'm so sorry, Kate. If I had never—"

After everything that had crashed down on her in the last ten minutes, she couldn't listen to him regret meeting her, following her around, so she cut him off.

"Just call my dad, Castle. You can do that right? You have his number now?" It was harsher than she'd intended, but she didn't slam the door on the way out. She didn't even shut the door so that she wouldn't.

Kate was surprised to see all the same people gathered around her desk, plus Captain Montgomery. _Geesh, where's Lanie? _she wondered. _Sure, she hadn't been in the observation room long, but…couldn't they just leave her alone? _The captain started to speak, but she charged in.

"Detective Esposito," she said, "You're with me." De la Rosa was speaking to himself in Spanish the whole time they were opposite him.

Castle called Jim Beckett, who without asking any questions, assured him he was on his way. He also called Paula, hoping that she'd have some advice or recommendations for Beckett. He'd have her issue a statement, if that's what Kate wanted. The interrogation room didn't have all his attention, but it was enough that he was aware when the Captain and Ryan joined him in Observation.

"Poor bastard," the Captain said. "Picked the wrong day to mess with Beckett."

Ryan tried his best to channel Mr. T with "I pity the fool," but all he got was a confused look from the Captain and a "Dude. No." head shake from Castle.

* * *

><p>"Beckett, Castle. My office. Bring a chair."<p>

Beckett and Castle entered the Captain's office. "You know Dr. Murray from your psych evals. Vanessa Malik, counsel from the Commissioner's office—Castle, you two know each other?"

"Yes, Sir. We've met."

"Janet Polland, NYPD Public Communications—I believe you've all met. Beckett, you remember Victoria Gates, from IAB."

Beckett gave a brisk nod. _Internal affairs?_ she wondered.

They all turned to the knock at the door. "Ah, Ms. Haas. So glad you could join us."

"Paula?" Castle questioned.

"My pleasure, Mr. Montgomery."

"Everyone, Ms. Haas, Castle's agent. The mayor recommended we have Ms. Haas join us as she has more experience with this type of media exposure. Also, I think we need to remember that, while we have a vested interest in the NYPD, these are _my_ people we're talking about. She's here to safeguard Mr. Castle's interests."

"Actually, I'll be representing Detective Beckett's interests as well—private interests, if she's to be the face of the NYPD—planned or not."

"Great. Now that everyone is here…"

"We're all busy people. Let's cut straight to the point," Gates said. "Given recent events and publicity surrounding Detective Beckett and this—this relationship, I think it's time we re-evaluate Mr. Castle's presence within the NYPD's confines."

"That's not really the reason we're here," Polland said.

"Why are we here?" Castle asked, and was ignored.

"With all due respect, Victoria," Dr. Murray answered, "We have had this discussion before, and we've evaluated not only Mr. Castle and Detective Beckett's mental statuses, but also her team's solve rates and congruity."

"The fact remains, there's just cause to question Mr. Castle's continued involvement in our investigations."

"I might remind you," Montgomery said, "Detective Beckett leads the most successful homicide team in New York. Castle is an integral part of that team."

It went on with counsel from the Commissioner's office playing devil's advocate, Gates continuing to argue that Castle's presence put the department at risk. _He isn't trained_, she argued. _What happens when the next writer comes along looking for a free show? What happens when he's injured—or killed while following around Detective Beckett?_

Castle tried to interrupt a few times, but it was the lawyer, Malik, that pointed out this had all been addressed—and was solid from a legal standpoint.

"And what of Detective Beckett's divided attention? How is she supposed to function in the field when she has to babysit this—this author? It may have been different before, but given the nature of their current relationship, there's a clear conflict of interest if we continue to allow him to be in the field with her."

"That's rather presumptuous, Ms. Gates," Castle said.

"Inspector Gates, Mr. Castle."

"Well, _Inspector_, instead of worrying about the nature of our non-existent relationship, what you should be focused on is that you have someone from this precinct commenting to the press about an on-going investigation. That's what you should be concerned about."

"An issue we'll deal with appropriately, Mr. Castle."

"When? Huh? Why are we sitting here talking about a damn article—a fluff piece—and a friendship that's nobody's damn business—when you have someone walking around here with loose lips? What happens when whoever hired Coonan realizes we've reopened the investigation? That's what you should be concerned about. You're gonna get her killed."

Beckett put her hand on his arm to calm him down and shook her head slightly warning him "no." Other than that she didn't move and she didn't speak. She didn't even try to keep up with them as the volleyed back and forth. She just stared at the floor in front of the Captain's desk. She was pissed as hell that they were talking about her and them—and their relationship—as if they weren't even in the room. Hell, they were even defining it themselves, assuming they knew things they did not.

"As I recall, Mr. Castle, there wouldn't even be an article if it weren't for you. So, who's putting whom at risk, here?"

That shut Castle up.

"What happens when this relationship goes sour—or you decide to move on to your next great…adventure?"

"I have no intention of leaving her—her team."

"Now hold on just a minute," Paula said at the same time. She was protective of Rick, both as his agent and as his friend. "Mr. Castle has been here—by choice—for over 3 years, without asking anything in return. If anything, this arrangement—this relationship, if one were to exist—would be damaging to Rick's reputation…and sales."

"Paula." Rick warned.

"So, why's he still here? Surely, it's time to move on?"

"Castle stays." Beckett and Montgomery answered at the same time, leaving no room for argument. It was the first and only time Beckett spoke. As for Captain Montgomery, he didn't care about close rates as much as he cared about his people, and Castle was good for Beckett. Good for all of them.

"Be that as it may, I will be, again, making a recommendation that this arrangement be terminated. Then you won't have to worry," she said addressing the latter part of her statement to Paula.

"And, you will, again, not have support from the police psychiatry unit. You know as well as I do that we've established a heightened awareness between these two subjects—sorry, Mr. Castle and Detective Beckett—that enhances their creative story building technique. Based on evaluations from all team members, Mr. Castle provides levity while paradoxically boosting Detective Beckett's leadership role. One would expect two primarily type-A personalities to have greater conflict. Even the FBI is screening their dynamic for their training and recruitment programs."

"Really? That is so cool!"

"Since when?" Gates asked.

"Since a few months after Agent Shaw submitted her report."

"As our public relations liaison," Polland said, "I have to say, fluff piece or not, the article showcased one our best detectives—"

"The best," Castle interjected. _What? _he thought._ I'm proud of her._

"_New York_ magazine has already received so much positive feedback to their online article segment that they've already contacted us about doing a series on our best and brightest leading up to a 9-11 tribute."

"That would be good," Paula said. "It will help mitigate some of the unwanted attention Detective Beckett has received."

"The Mayor and the Commissioner are also in agreement," the Commissioner's counsel added, "that this relationship—both Mr. Castle's involvement with the NYPD and Detective Beckett's—I'm not sure how to put it delicately…However, there's a certain appeal to a strong, beautiful, female lead detective who has triumphed over a…difficult past being broadcast as the unofficial 'face of the NYPD', as you put it. Then there's other…more personal…elements to your story. Quite frankly, despite this being more focused on Detective Beckett—and the romantic underpinnings—we expect this to increase positive perception of the NYPD across all demographics, much like the last article to which you each contributed."

"That's good news for us," Polland said. "I don't have to remind anyone how lacking we've been in positive PR in recent years. The NYPD fully supports this relationship and Mr. Castle's continued involvement."

"Thank you."

Castle went on to explain his misgivings about the article, his concerns about making Detective Beckett an "accidental and unwilling figurehead" and how that could be addressed. He demanded that every effort be made to identify who from the precinct talked to the press, in return, he promised to do a speaking engagement and another article. Deferring to Paula's expertise, and her intimate knowledge that Rick would in no way want to disparage his relationship with the detective, they—meaning everyone but Detective Beckett—decided to let the _New York_ article stand without issuing a retraction or dispelling any inferences.

Castle and Paula looked for Beckett to weigh in, but she had nothing to say. She shrugged and would shake her head in response to their questions, but she was still so livid and really at a loss as to what to do. She could only rely on Rick looking out for her best interests, his experience and their promises to address her concerns in the best way they knew how. Hell, Rick would do whatever she wanted, she knew—even if it was against Paula's advice. Kate was just trying to hold it together long enough to get out of there. Nearly two hours and all she'd said in her defense was "Castle stays." Gates would force him out over her dead body. _And who did she think she was, anyway, talking to Castle like that?_

As they all stood to leave the Captain's office, the Captain called out to her, asking for a moment of her time. She would have been the first one out the door, but instead she was watching everyone else escape. Castle closed the door behind them.

"You okay?"

"Sir?"

"Can't be easy."

"I'm fine, Sir."

"It's going to be hard to find out who talked, but when I do—"

"Sir."

"Okay, Beckett. But as your friend…Don't let this hold you back." _From Castle_ was implied with the way he nodded toward the blinds and where Castle would be.

"Sir, we're not—"

"I know. But just know, it's not a problem. If you were."

Beckett nodded. She wasn't sure Gates would agree.

"He's not an employee."

"Sir. We got a confession out of de la Rosa. I'd like to wrap up the paperwork, send Ryan and Esposito home and give them a half-day tomorrow. They've already clocked more than 60 hours this week."

"That's fine."

"Thank you, Sir." She waited for him to nod, so she could be dismissed.

She headed for coffee, but saw there was a large group of people in the break room. Two red heads, her dad, Lanie, Castle and the boys.

_What the hell were they all still doing here? Didn't they have work? Things to do? Places to be? Ah, what did it really matter_? she wondered. _She was sending the boys home early anyway._ She really wanted coffee, but she didn't want to go in there. She was paused between the Captain's office and the break room. Until her dad saw her.

She took a deep breath and walked in. Castle started making her an espresso.

"Katie," he said smiling and hugging her. "I just talked these fine young men into helping me on Saturday." She knew he'd made new cabinets and shelves for at Sheryl's bakery and was hoping to get them installed. She assumed that's what he was talking about.

_How could he be smiling?_ The fact that he'd struggles with alcoholism was just revealed in a very public way.

She didn't really know what to say.

"I told him I'm not really handy," Ryan said, obviously not wanting quiet.

"You'll do better than dad," Alexis assured him.

Nothing from Castle. He handed Kate her coffee.

"Ah, he'll do fine," Jim said. He winked at Kate. "I'll have him whipped into shape in no time."

"Do you need help?" she asked.

"Whipping Rick into shape?" her dad teased. Not even a smile.

"Installing the cabinets?"

"Ah, no, Katie. And I _believe_ you have plans?" He gave her a meaningful look and she realized he and Alexis had worked out a way to get Rick away from the apartment. They hadn't been able to meet the day before to record her song. Plus, they had puppy hunting to do.

Kate looked between her dad and Alexis and nodded.

"Ryan, Esposito. You guys can head out. Ten to two tomorrow, then the weekend's yours."

"Good. I'm gonna sleep all of that." Esposito said.

"I don't think so, Baby."

"Are you leaving now, too?" Alexis asked, sounding hopeful.

"No, I've got some paperwork to finish. Get this thing closed up."

"Katie—"

"Really, you all need to get out of here. I'll put you two to work if you stay…and the rest of you, really, you've been here too long. Hanging out at the precinct is not a good way to spend a nice summer's day."

She could feel Rick standing close to her. If she leaned just a little, she'd feel him. She could lean on him. But then she wouldn't stop. And she needed that backbone. She couldn't give it up. Lanie had questioned if it was there. And it was. Keeping her stiff and upright.

They were all hesitant to leave her. She knew they needed to know she had a plan. And she knew one of them was going to hound her, maybe all of them. Definitely Lanie and her dad. She wasn't sure about Castle. He was close, but distant.

"I'll be home around 7, Dad."

"I'll have dinner ready."

It was enough that the others acquiesced and started moving toward the door. Castle shuffled away from her a little, but he didn't move to leave yet.

Kate walked over to put her cup in the sink, when she walked back by, Castle stopped her by putting his hand on her forearm.

She glared at his hand. _People could see into the break room. He knew that!_ "I don't need to add more fuel to the fire, Castle."

Castle hung his head and Kate felt like she was coming up empty. She'd used up every tool at her disposal to keep the anger at bay, but the rupture was coming. She needed to get out. Get away. Get to the gym. Be anywhere other than right here. She needed him to not be there.

Castle removed his hand as if he'd been burned.

"Castle, please_._ _Go home._"

* * *

><p><strong>So…hope I set that up well enough and that it didn't hit anyone out of left field. I know there's not a lot of Kate-Castle interaction in this chapter, but that's intentional. Don't worry, they'll be back on good footing next chapter! <strong>


	45. Ch 45 Seconds

**Hello amazing people!**

_Recap: Devyn sold photos of Kate to _New York_ Magazine—which published them alongside an article that described Kate as Castle's love interest, but focused on her: An amazing detective with the 12__th__ who has overcome incredible hardships such as her mother's murder and her father's alcoholism. Then she sat through a pow-wow where the big wigs talked about her and them—and what to do._

* * *

><p>Chapter 45 – Seconds<p>

When Kate Beckett stepped in to her apartment, her stomach immediately turned at whatever her dad had cooking. It wasn't that he was a bad cook—but the thought of food was making her queasy. All she really wanted was to grab a couple of Excedrin and go to bed. She was feeling sluggish after her two-hour workout at the precinct. Kickboxing. Running, she liked—it was freeing, but kickboxing was necessary. She'd been tired before her day even began, and now her legs felt rubbery and her arms were dead weights hanging at her sides. To top it off, she hadn't stopped to hydrate properly, so she was going to be stiffer and sorer than need be.

"Hey, Dad. What are you making?" She asked, tossing her purse on the stairs and walking up behind him.

"Beef stroganoff."

Kate took in the open cans of cream of mushroom soup on the counter, the egg noodles already drained in the sink and the sauce simmering on the stove. _Great. Something heavy. _

"Hmmm."

"What's the matter?"

Kate sighed. "Long day, Dad, that's all."

"Don't lie to me, Katie. I can see you're still upset."

"Aren't you upset?"

"No. Why would I be?"

"Did you even read this?" she asked pointing to the article lying open by her cutting board. She thought of stabbing it. The knife was right there.

"Of course I did."

"And you're not bothered by it?"

"What's to be bothered by?"

"You're kidding, right? Maybe that one of your friends talked about you to the press?"

"Bill didn't mean it, so… You know? Water off a duck's back."

"So, it doesn't matter to you that the most private and painful parts of our lives were just plastered all over New York City?"

"I didn't say that, but what's the point of stressing over it?"

"God, you're so—" She through her hands up and turned toward her living room.

"So what, Katherine?"

"Don't 'Katherine' me." She said turning back to him.

"I named you, Missy, and I'll 'Katherine" you whenever I like. So, why don't you calm yourself down," he pointed his spatula at the stool in front of him, "and tell me why you're so upset?"

Pursed lips and a glare at the chair he'd indicated were the only responses he received.

"Well, you look awful," he continued, unphased, "but I gotta say, you look a damn sight better than Rick. What the hell did you do to that boy?"

"What do you mean 'what the hell did_ I_ do to him'?" That got her riled up. "_I_ got him out of the line of fire. That's what_ I_ did."

"Still firing, too, I see? That's okay. I can take it. Years of practice. But you're gonna listen to me too, Katie. You're too bullheaded for your own good."

"And what did you expect me to do? Just stand there and take it?"

"Take what, Katie? He wasn't doing anything to you. You pushed away the one person—maybe three—who could actually help you through this."

"There is no 'this.'"

"So, that's your tactic? You're just gonna ignore it?"

"What would you have me do?"

"Oh, I don't know…here's an idea: deal with it?"

"I am dealing with it."

"No you're not. You're burying it. And I don't understand why you're this upset. Over an article? A nice one at that."

"Nice?" she cried. "You—they…they're going to use this to try to force Castle out. And there's nothing I can do about it! And then, everyone wants me to be happy about it? Like I should somehow be honored that they chose to focus on me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"That bi—wench from Internal Affairs. She wants Castle gone."

"So that's what you're upset about? Not the article?"

"No. It's the damn article!"

"People speculating about my life. Things that aren't true and things that are no one's concern. People staring at me. It's _my_ life, and now all of a sudden I have to read about it in magazines typically reserved for celebutantes and fashionistas? Since when?"

"Come on, Katie. You're no fool. I can't believe you're letting this get to you."

"So they can spread whatever lies they want?"

"What lies? Everything in that article was true."

"'More than a muse'? 'Richard Castle's new lady love?'"

"Yeah, they probably shouldn't have said 'new,'" he mused more to himself than his daughter.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what it means. There's something there, and you keep trying to deny it. That boy loves you like I love your mom. You're not—"

"Wait. You still love Mom?" Kate shocked herself with the question—her voice dying off at the end. She certainly hadn't meant for that to come up. _May as well, right?_ she thought. She was still mad about that, too.

"Katie, really? Is that what you think?"

_This._ _This I can do_, Jim thought. He and Katie were more alike in this way than any other. Johanna? You knew when she was mad, and it didn't take much to pop the cork. She'd be mad and then be over it. Not him. And not their Katie. They'd let it fester. They were pressure cookers. They'd add an angry ingredient here and there. Mark it for future use. They'd heat it and reshape it and let it grow into something unrecognizable. Then they'd explode.

Sure, they'd each found other outlets and worked on being better about it. He'd certainly mellowed over the last however many years—AA had helped with that, and, he thought, the perspective that comes simply with age, but he still recognized it for what it was: doubt, insecurity and anger. He couldn't really fault her for any of it. They hadn't really talked. He'd certainly sprung Sheryl on her. And, grown woman or not, she was still his little girl.

Kate shrugged, but came forward and sat on the stool.

"Your mom is my everything, my ideal. You lost your mom; I lost the love of my life and my best friend. You have to know that?"

"But?" she asked quietly.

"Sheryl?" Jim questioned. He hated causing her pain or causing her to question what's real and what's forever. He hoped this wasn't what was holding her back, but suspected it was, in part. _Because, how do you move on from something that real, that painful?_ He was still trying to figure that out.

Kate nodded only slightly, grateful that he wasn't making her ask outright.

"She keeps the lonely away. But it's not the same. Not near the same. With your mom, it was easy. Not even easy, really. It was more like there wasn't any other way to be. She was poems and flowers and dancing and stars streaking across the sky. When she smiled, the world stopped, but I felt like I'd run circles around it. And God, when she laughed? She had so many different laughs. So many different ways to say I told you so."

A quick smile appeared on his daughter's face.

"I'm going to tell you something now that's going to be hard—or at least weird to hear, okay? And don't overanalyze it."

"Okay?"

"I've never said this aloud to anyone…You'd never wish your kid dead. I never would. No one would. But there are times, where I've thought it would have been easier to lose you." He looked at his daughter wondering if she'd understand what it was he was trying to say. "Because then there'd have been someone who understood. Someone who lost on the same level. Someone who knew what was gone, what was missing. When it's just you and me, our pain is different. Even though Grandma's gone, it's not the same, and I can't know what you think and feel and I know I made it worse. And you can't know what it's like for me. How hard it is to...look at another woman. To wake up alone…or not alone, but wishing she were someone else—or at least not there."

"Dad—"

"No. Hear me out. Sheryl's nice. Sweet. An attempt at normalcy. I'm not lying when I say I do care about her. But, it's companionship not passion and sometimes I'm afraid that feeling, like I'm cheating on your mom, will never go away."

"Me, too, but she'd want you to be happy and you deserve to be happy. I want that for you, too. It's just…hard."

"I know. Same for you, you know? I speak for your mother and me when I say we want you to be happy. That's true here and in the hereafter."

He kissed her forehead wrapped his arms around his daughter, sighing when she reciprocated. She was here. She was beautiful and strong and everything he and Jo ever dreamed she would be.

"Katie?" he leaned back to study his daughter.

"What, Dad? You're making me nervous."

"That article. I don't think you should be so upset over it. I've told you before, the truth is yours to wield. And you've faced some tough truths. You do every day, and I couldn't be more proud of you. And that's what I thought when I read that article. It just reminded me of all the reasons I'm so proud of you."

He was rewarded with a small smile and a little snort.

"Still, I wish your mom could be here to help you make sense of things. She'd be better at it than me. Plus, she'd know all the loopholes for who we could sue if you wanted to."

"Not to worry, Dad. Castle's got a guy, if we want to go that route. But, don't sell yourself short. You're not doing so bad."

"So things make more sense now?"

"Well, I'm not as mad."

"Good. You won't hit me when I say this. That smile?" he said pointing to the magazine. "It's been so long, Katie. And if he can make you smile like that? Hell, if I didn't think you'd shoot me, I'd pay to put up on the Jumbotron at the Yankees Stadium. It shouldn't be hidden away. I bought extra issues, for Babi, your aunts and uncles."

"Dad—"

"I'm just saying…don't be too hard on him. He's a good man. I think you finally found someone who deserves you."

"I'm not mad at Rick, Dad."

"Then you should tell him that…and maybe other things."

"Other things?"

"Yeah. You know? Like—"

"Dad?"

"Hmm."

"Thanks for painting my office."

"Oh, you're just so subtle, aren't you?"

"I thought you were feeding me?"

Kate watched as her father dumped the egg noodles back in the pad he'd boiled them in and laughed as they all stuck together from sitting out too long. She got up to grab some olive oil to try to loosen them up, but it was a lost cause. He just cut some out of the lump and chopped it up with a fork before drizzling it with the sauce he'd made. Kate looked in the fridge for the sour cream she knew he must have grabbed as they never ate beef stroganoff without sour cream, and together they sat down at her table.

"So, Alexis says you're going to look at a big, white fluff ball on Saturday?"

"Yep. Pretty thing with golden eyes. Inuyasha, I think the lady said. Have you ever heard of a Coton de Tulear?"

"Can't say that I have."

"This dog, Inuyasha, is apparently a mixed breed—Coton de Tulear and something else. His owner died a few weeks ago, and the daughter can't keep it. The Cotons are supposed to have hair instead of fur. Isn't that strange? Apparently, they don't shed."

"You know, Jack's gonna be jealous."

Kate smiled thinking of the way Rick had loved on her Dad's Jack Russell Terrier—after he got over the fact that her dad had named him Jack. The four-legged pogo stick had never been so happy; he wore out before Rick in their game of fetch. She'd never seen that happen before.

"Jack won't even know."

"He will. Dogs can sense these kinds of things."

"Then I guess you'll just have to bring him over for a play date."

"Here or Rick's?"

"Well, since I'm technically not supposed to have dogs here, probably at Castle's."

"Will you be there?"

"Fish much?"

"I just thought...maybe, after this weekend?"

"No, Dad, we're not dating." Sick of poking at her dinner, she stood with her plate. _Yet_. _We're not dating yet._ She didn't bother adding that for her father's benefit. He, like everyone else, seemed to believe it was a foregone conclusion. She was finally in agreement. _One more week_, she thought. Castle's birthday was just a week away.

* * *

><p>She'd pleaded with him to go home, but to his ears it only sounded corrosive. <em>Mordant<em>, Castle thought. Mordant was a good word. It wasn't the "dye" meaning that appealed to him, but it was biting, and it did remind him of "morgue" and "dying." And that's how he felt. Like a little part of him was dying. Maybe a big part. He didn't know if he was going to win this one.

_Should he call? Should he reach out to her?_ He didn't know. He hated hurting her. He might not have called them up, but he'd as good as put her there. God, if only they hadn't dug so deep. Then—then maybe she'd have an easier time shaking this off. As it was? He didn't know.

Castle stared at the pictures in the magazine. They'd long since gone blurry. Lots of scotch had a way of doing that to him. Made his eyes dry and itchy. It was better than crying, though. He knew he wasn't supposed to have alcohol, but…no one was there to stop him, and so what if his gut hurt tomorrow? He deserved it didn't he? _No_, he thought. But even if he didn't, he'd rather focus on a gut ache and a headache than his heartache.

* * *

><p>Kate had given up on sleep hours ago. She was tired, but it just wasn't happening. It was a cramp in her calf muscles, guilt eating at her, a nightmare and worry. What little sleep she did manage earlier in the night was restless. She figured she was in for a pissy kind of day, so she'd gone to stare Lockwood down. <em>Why go another day when this one was destined to be bad?<em> Since he wasn't part of the general population, the guards didn't seem to mind that she'd shown up before 7:00 AM on a Friday. She spent longer with him than usual, but to no avail.

It was always the same. One question. _Who hired you? _He would lean back in his chair, disinterested, right hand on the table. He'd stare across at her and tap his index and ring fingers on the table. His ring finger was his trigger finger. He knew it. She knew it. But she never flinched.

She was back at the precinct before 9:00 AM and spent a full two hours sorting through emails and voicemails that had absolutely nothing to do with any of her cases—past or present. Of course, she had to document them, which was easy with the emails, she just forwarded them all to Janet Polland and carbon copied Paula. The voicemails were another story. She took notes, and then sent them all via email to the two women.

Three pharmacists dead and one killer. You'd think it would be less paperwork, but it in fact tripled: copies for every file, making sure the contents of each file matched up. Some of the physical evidence couldn't go in each box like normal, so it had to be fully and completely documented and cross-referenced—with photographs. She'd had to break from her paperwork on four separate occasions to inform the families of their victims about the circumstances surrounding their deaths. She'd tried to comfort one wife and daughter, one husband and two parents—neither of whom were willing to be in the same room with one another.

Thankfully, she had the boys for a three-way file comparison. They'd offered to stay, but she kicked them out promptly at 2:00 PM, like she'd promised the day before. She stayed to finish the job. She got Montgomery's sign off, had Officer Stegner and Detective Coufer help her carry the files to records and she was in the elevator at 4:30 PM. Her grand plan was to sleep half the weekend away.

_So, why am I standing outside Castle's door?_ She wondered if she shouldn't have just gone to Lanie's after the way she'd yelled at him. _Well, I didn't really _yell _at him. He just _looked _like I did._ She was going to have to fix that. She raised her fist and knocked.

Castle's surprise showed when he opened the door, but it was immediately canceled out by the concern etched in his face. She stood there, half-blocked by the wall she was leaning into. She had her head cocked to the side leaning against the door jam.

Castle took in her appearance. She looked stressed and like she had a headache. He could tell she was probably just coming from work—and judging by the clothes, she at least hadn't slept at the precinct. But, she was dressed up, with heavy makeup—darker around the eyes than normal. Usually, unless she had court or something official, she was a little more casual on Fridays. But today, black dress pants and a form-fitting bright red shirt. A power color.

She gave him a half smile. "I'm tired, Castle, and there are people outside my building with cameras and I…"

She didn't finish because Castle grabbed her hand and pulled her in. He led her to the couch where, he indicated she should sit, so she sat down. She unclipped her holster and service piece from her side and set it on the coffee table, knowing Castle would take it to his office for her. She leaned forward to unzip her boots and slip them off, but Castle stopped her. He kneeled in front of her and lifted her pant leg just to the ankle and unzipped and slipped off first one, and then the other.

"I'm tired, Castle, not incapable." He just gave her a small smile and squeezed his thumb into the arch of the foot he still held.

Castle stood up in front of her. He gestured to the TV, and Kate shook her head no, wondering what was up. Then he motioned up the stairs and folded his hands under his cheek and closed his eyes.

"Later," she answered. Yes, she wanted to sleep, but she wasn't sure she wanted to sleep here. Maybe she'd just wait it out. Kate grabbed one of the couch pillows and curled up in the corner with it, while Castle handed her a blanket from the chair beside them. Then he motioned drinking.

"Okay, Castle. What's with the mime show?"

At this Castle became very animated with his fingers typing motion and making an angry face pretending to be talking to a phone and then a finger was shaming and shaking in front of her. She really had no idea what he was getting at.

Kate shook her head. "Are you supposed to be writing?"

He shook his head wildly.

"Well, by all means, go." He scowled at her phrasing. "Don't let me hold you back."

Castle paused, then held up a finger. He texted her.

_Can't talk 'til I finish the chapter._

Kate snickered. "Who's rule is that?"

"Richard Castle!" she heard Martha from behind them. "I knew I heard voices! That's cheating."

"Just mine so far, Martha, but this is a neat trick. Tell me, how do you get him to comply?"

"Leverage, Dear," Martha answered. "Now, you go," she said to Richard. "I've got our gal. And no more texting!" she called to his retreating figure.

Kate smirked as she watched Rick's head bobble back and forth and she knew he was silently and snidely mouthing his mother's words.

"So, what's this leverage?"

"Ah, discussion for another day, huh? Nevertheless, I don't doubt your capacity to render him speechless—and keep him that way."

"Ah, well, I think I'll just appreciate your efforts for the time being."

Martha sat down beside her. "If you don't mind my saying so…you look less than stellar. I know my way around the cosmetics desk, and you're talented, Dear, but there's no mistaking the layers of concealer."

Martha grabbed Kate's face and turned it toward her, tilting her head up and down while she inspected. "I haven't seen this much concealer on one eye since they covered Cindi Welter's shiner in _The Three Sisters. _That was a hoot, I tell ya. Gave herself a black eye trying to prove she could twirl a baton."

"It's just been a long week, Martha."

"Stressful?"

Kate shrugged. "Mostly just long."

"Why don't you head on up? Get some shut-eye?"

"Bit keyed up, and it's early yet."

"Oh, nonsense. You have the weekend off, and you know you're welcome to stay here. Have you eaten yet?" Martha asked on her way to the kitchen.

"Yeah."

Martha came back with a glass of water and two capsules. Kate raised an eyebrow in question.

"Melatonin. All natural, I promise. It'll help you relax, sleep sound."

"Oh, no, Martha, I—"

"Safe as can be. Non-addicting. Come, now, would I lead you astray?"

Kate furrowed her brow. She didn't really want to answer that, and frankly, she didn't have the energy to come up with a good argument without offending Martha. Kate gave in and let Martha mother her like she was obviously trying to do.

They talked for a few minutes, Kate telling Martha about the cameras outside her building and Martha telling her about some of the funnier captures the paparazzi had snapped of her. Martha was just in the middle of telling her about when one cameraman had snuck into her dressing room—Kate couldn't tell whether it was exaggerated or not—when Martha excused herself to take a phone call. Kate felt herself sink lower into the couch cushions.

When her head fell back, she felt dizzy—or like the room was spinning. She wasn't sure which. But, it was when her eyelids went lax and she had to fight to open them that she started to worry. She stood quickly, and tripped over her heels. She fell toward the glass coffee table, knocking the remote into a glass bowl filled with pointless balls of twine. She righted herself, the action doing nothing to quell the wooziness.

"Castle?" she called, hands around her head.

He looked up to see Kate, with her head tucked between her forearms.

"Kate!" Castle was in front of her in just seconds, settling her onto the couch again—this time the opposite corner she'd been in. He sat down beside her.

"Castle, I think your Mother drugged me."

"Mother!"

Martha came around the corner.

"What the hell did you give her?"

"Stop yelling, Castle."

"It was just melatonin, Dear. She's small, but, I mean, Alexis has never—oh, no, you don't think she's allergic do you?"

"No. Just, you can't give that stuff on an empty stomach—especially when she's already exhausted." He turned back to Kate. "It's probably just hitting you harder than it normally would."

"Well, she said she'd eaten."

"I did, Martha."

"That's Kate-speak for she grabbed a banana this morning before she left. Other than that she's had coffee and what, Kate? Skittles? Snickers?" He felt her shift at the "skittles" part and knew he was right.

"Shut-up, Castle. I eat."

"Should I get her something now?"

Kate's eyes widened as she leaned forward. "No. No food." Moving was a bad idea. She clutched Castle's shirt, until she found his eyes. He was the only thing not moving.

Kate moved her hand toward his ear and brought the other one up to the other side of his face. _Oh, his eyes._ So long as she could see those blue depths of aquamarine, she was fine. Nothing was spinning when she had his eyes. She leaned back slowly until her head hit the arm of the couch, but she drew Castle with her, not willing to release the only thing that was anchoring her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, searching her face.

"Heavy, but lightheaded. Spinning. A lot like the time I smoked too much with—"

"Katherine Beckett! Did you get high?"

"Oh, yeah, Rick. Like you never did."

"Mother's in the room, Kate."

"Pff. Like she never did. She was at Woodstock with your Aunt Lynn."

"Touché."

"Good times. Flower power. Free love. We paved the way for you kids." Kate felt Martha sit on the arm of the couch, near her head. "Richard, do you think she's okay?"

"Emm fine," Kate said. She just wasn't sure how long she could stay awake. She just knew she had to keep talking if she wanted to avoid falling asleep right then. "Not scattered or loopy or hallucinating. Definitely don't have the munchies."

"So, no drug induced confessions?" Castle asked.

"No. But never, ever let your mom drug me again."

"I swear, Kate, it's not drugs. And you should eat."

"Not even a tiny one? It was the grunge rocker, wasn't it?"

"No, geez, Castle." Kate closed her eyes. She felt so tired. "You always want to blame him. But, really, he was the sweetest boy. No—it was Mr. All American, the homecoming king—the one that Dad actually liked a little."

"I thought we weren't getting any confessions?"

"Dad likes you, too, you know." Castle felt her thumb sweeping across his left cheek. He didn't think she knew she was still holding on to him. "Wonder what that means?"

"That he's refined his taste in men?"

Kate inhaled deeply. Castle's scent. _Cologne? _she wondered. _Aftershave? _His cheek was incredibly smooth today, but her limbs were heavy and she couldn't keep it up. She let her hands fall, and searched blindly until she found his.

"One more confession, Castle," she said sleepily. Her voice was just above a whisper. She drew his knuckles to her lips, and kissed them. "Not mad. Didn't want to be mean…to you."

Kate cuddled his arm to her chest and fell asleep. Castle simply stared at her for a time, not caring that his mother was right there watching him watch her.

Castle didn't look up at his mother until he saw her fingers come down to brush the hair off Kate's face. It was a move he'd considered, but he hadn't wanted to stir.

"She's the right one, Richard."

Rick just nodded. He knew.

"You know you can speak, now? I won't tell Alexis."

"Let's scoot her down and let her sleep. I think she needs that more than anything right now."

* * *

><p>Kate woke up on Castle's couch, light already starting to shine into the living room. <em>All night? I slept here all night? <em>Someone had covered her up. She wondered what the Castles had done all night since she'd apparently kicked them out of their living room? She hadn't budged; she hadn't heard a peep. She'd been completely out of it. She was normally a light sleeper, but apparently her week had caught up with her. Still, she couldn't remember sleeping that hard in a long while. _The melatonin._ _Maybe there was something to it_, Kate thought. And maybe she'd try it again, when she was at home in her own bed. For now though, she really had to pee.

Kate made her way into the half-bath. She noticed someone had left some makeup removal wipes on the counter for her, and they'd brought down a tube of toothpaste and a new toothbrush. Their kindness reminded her of one of her favorite fairy tales, _The Elves and the Shoemaker_, and she smiled thinking of her worn collection of fairy tales. _I'll have to show Castle sometime._ Kate smiled again thinking how much he'd enjoy knowing that about her.

* * *

><p>"Mmm, Dad. What are you making?" Alexis came downstairs in her pajama shorts and a tank.<p>

"Not me. I thought it was you?"

They peeked into the oven. "What is it?" They asked, watching the gooey mixture bubble. It smelled delicious.

"Well, it's definitely not Gram. Too many ingredients."

"And too early, Dear. Don't forget too early."

"Morning, Gram. What are you doing up?"

"I smelled breakfast. I thought maybe your father was cooking for Kate."

"She's gone. But since neither of us did this...I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say it was Kate."

The oven timer went off, causing Castle to jump. Alexis turned to take the pan out of the oven, when the front door opened. Kate came walking in with one of Castle's reusable grocery bags draped over her arm. She looked refreshed and relaxed. She must have gone home to change because she was now wearing a pair of jeans with a blue and white striped top and a pair of sneakers.

"Oh, good," Kate grinned. "It's done."

"What's done, exactly?"

"Seriously, Rick, if you can't figure out that it's breakfast, we're going to have to rethink this you shadowing me thing."

Castle made a face at her. "I know it's breakfast, but…what is it?"

"Stuffed Peach French Toast."

"You didn't have to cook for us. I'd have made you breakfast."

"I was up, and hungry. Besides, least I can do after crashing on your couch last night. You should have woken me up."

"Well, to be fair…I did drug you. I'm sorry, Dear. I had no idea it would hit you like that."

"You know what, Martha?" Kate sat down beside her. "I actually slept better than I've slept in a long time. Just wish I'd been in my bed. Not sure I'd want to do that when I'm on call—but," she winked at Martha, "I picked up some melatonin to try—at home."

"How come everything you make is complicated?" Alexis asked, pulling out plates.

"It's not complicated! It's deceptive…really very easy. And you had everything for it. You would be out of milk and cream cheese, but I picked up some more. You'll like it, Castle. It's like dessert for breakfast."

"It smells delicious," he acknowledged.

"It is. Now, can we eat? Latent drug-induced munchies here."

"That's not the drugs. That's just your sorry excuse for a diet."

"Just for that, you don't get seconds."

* * *

><p><strong>So, this chapter? I decided, sometimes, when you're close, you don't really need to say your sorry...you just need to be there. <strong>

**In other news...I'm halfway through tonight's episode and I kinda hate them both at the moment. Especially the therapist. "Are you afraid that he won't wait or that he will?" What's that even mean? Ugg. **

**Anyway, I'm sure I'll be happier in another 30 mins…or when I read your reviews…so, help a girl out? Let me know what you think? **

**p.s. I'm behind on my messages, so if I didn't respond yet, I promise I'll get to it! I've been trying to fatten up my kid…turns out he looks "malnourished on paper." Four years old and the kid only weighs 26 lbs—not like 3****rd****-world sickly (those poor babies!), but apparently a concern. **


	46. Ch 46 Puppy

Chapter 46 – Puppy

So, major apologies for taking so long with this. Almost a full month! I'll spare you the excuses—just know that the first week was on me. I didn't write anything for the first week after my last post…just sort of vegged out and watched Dollhouse with the hubby / did nothing. The stuff after that? Yeah. Nothing I could do about it. Sorry if you've suffered from withdrawals.

Since it has been such a long time, here's a more detailed summary than I'd normally offer.

_Kate kicked Castle out of the precinct after _New York_ magazine published an article about her—but she did it to protect him because she knew she was going to explode. She was still mad by the time she got home where her father was waiting for her. Jim called her on it—but let her get it out of her system since the gym didn't help. They ended up having a good talk about love and loss and loving after loss. _

_Meanwhile, Castle was incredibly worried about Kate and how this press would affect her—and really them as they were getting closer. He hated that he'd brought such scrutiny to Kate's life and past. _

_After the publication and non-fight with Castle, Kate was feeling too guilty and keyed up to sleep—even thought they'd been working non-stop since she returned from camping. When they finally got their confession, Kate went home, intending to hit the sack, but her apartment was crowded by paparazzi—so she left and ended up at Castle's. _

_There, Castle did a mime act not talking to her because he'd been forbidden to speak until he finished his next chapter. Martha sent him to work and kept Kate company. She also "drugged" an already tired Kate with melatonin. Kate had a very funny reaction to the melatonin and ended up sleeping on Castle's couch. Kate fell asleep telling Castle that she wasn't mad at him—she just didn't want to yell at him. So, the publication is another thing to add to the list of things they haven't talked about, along with Kate's (sort-of pending) break-up with Josh and the kisses they've shared. But, she did stay and make breakfast for the Castle family._

Also, shouldn't be a surprise that the puppy's coming up, so I thought you guys might like to see what I'm describing before you start reading: http:/weheartit (DOT) com/entry/8082803

ISN'T HE CUTE? Eyes look photoshopped, but I couldn't resist him. I picture Castle's pup with longer fur, more curly fur around the ears…but other than that, pretty much the same.

* * *

><p>"Kate? Are you sure?"<p>

"What? Do you think?"

"No. I'm just starting to worry we're never going to find what you're looking for. I mean, we've passed on a lot of cute pups, a few well-trained dogs and a lot in between."

Kate pursed her lips. She was feeling it, too. Disheartened. They'd started at the Animal Haven because Kate didn't want to just fall in love with one dog without having some frame of reference. And while there'd been many dogs there, she didn't feel attached to any of them.

Then they'd gone to an apartment complex not too far from there. On Craigslist, Alexis had found an ad for an adorable looking dog that some lady had found and was taking care of. She was black with white on her legs and belly, and a little brown over her eyes and at the tips of her pointy ears. Greta had been friendly and she was exceptionally well-trained—she even rolled over, a trick Kate knew Rick would love—but she was almost too good. Kate felt like Greta would be great dog for someone, but not Rick. He needed to be surprised sometimes.

It was worse with Inuyasha—the dog she'd had a feeling about. There was something about that dog's white fur-hair and golden eyes in the photos. He was the whole reason she'd wanted to look at other dogs first. She was afraid she'd be taken with him and would want to take him home right then—but she was approaching this like she approached everything else: explore all options. She felt that yes, she'd know the one when she saw it, but she still had to be sure. The problem was, she wasn't sure. Not at all.

She'd liked Inuyasha immensely. He was the perfect height—not too big for a lap dog, but not too small either. He was sweet, loved attention and played fetch. But even though Cotons weren't supposed to shed, whatever his other half was must have been a shedder—a big shedder. So, that was one thing, but it wasn't what made her say no. It was the little boy who'd lost his grandmother…all screaming tears and snot-nosed as his mother tried to explain that they couldn't afford to keep him. _But he was Grandma's. You can't just give him away!_ Whether they could keep him or not, Kate couldn't be the one to take him away.

And now, here they were walking out of the Humane Society of New York. She'd been peed on by a beagle mix named Gomer when he rolled over so she could pat his belly. He was out. They'd been nearly licked to death by a pair of puppies the volunteer had called Maltipoos. They were super cute, but there was a family looking at adopting the pair, so she and Alexis wished them well and she wondered when she'd become such a softie.

She'd fallen a little in love with a red merle Australian Shepherd. She was still recovering from a partial leg amputation, though, and wouldn't be ready for adoption for another two weeks—and Alexis felt bad for her, but wasn't as taken with her as Kate was, and Kate was worried she liked her as much as she did simply because she'd been injured and still seemed so full of heart and energy.

"The maltipoos _were_ cute," Alexis offered.

"But they're…uhh! Why's this so hard?" She'd made so many phone calls and spent so much time online. She thought it would be easier in person. "Let's just get lunch, hmm?"

Truthfully, they couldn't even call it lunch. It was already after three. After they shooed Rick out, they'd spent the morning recording Alexis' composition. It only took two attempts to get her solo right, but four when they added Kate on the piano. Then they'd burned them to CD, and, of course, they each had copies for their iPods.

Kate sat across from Alexis thinking about how much she'd grown since that first time they met for coffee to talk about the Oxford summer program. She'd liked Alexis immediately, but felt nervous having Alexis ask her opinion, but she'd learned a lot about Rick in that first meeting—not so much from the things that were said, but from listening to and observing Alexis.

She'd known she'd had a soft spot for the man as a father from the time Alexis and Martha had picked him from the precinct. He may have been the pompous asshole who'd stolen her files, but with his arms around his mother and daughter and the obvious, easy affection between them—how could she not be a little taken with him?

"It's funny how nervous my dad was to go help your dad."

"Really? He didn't seem nervous."

"Yeah, but you didn't have to help him—and I quote—'pick out the appropriate attire for installing cabinetry' last night."

Kate thought about the way Castle looked when he'd left the loft this morning in a dark grey t-shirt stretched across his broad shoulders. She could tell it was a soft material by the way it caught on his jeans and folded as he moved. Comfortable looking blue jeans and the shoes he'd worn on their hike. She couldn't imagine he'd needed help coming up with that.

"I had to stop him from going out to buy steel-toed boots."

Kate laughed. "Well, he needn't have worried. Dad just needs a few extra hands, some muscle"—_which your dad definitely has_, she added silently—"and some common sense."

"And he asked Dad?" Alexis scoffed.

Kate looked up questioningly at Alexis, surprised to find herself mildly offended that Alexis would talk about Rick that way. _Ridiculous_, she knew. _It's her father. _And it wasn't something that Kate herself wouldn't have said. She knew they teased one another and she had no special entitlement as Rick's sole picker-on-er—and truth be told, Alexis came to the role first and with more to back it up…but it didn't prevent Kate from being irritated. Maybe it was Alexis' tone? Or maybe Kate's head was too preoccupied to hear what was meant to be a joke? Either way, she was pulled between that niggling preposterous thought: _Hey, only I am aloud to talk about him like that!_ and an incredible urge to be his paladin.

Reacting in either such way would be far too telling, so Kate tried to brush it off and focus on today's mission. But Alexis called her on it.

"What?"

"It's nothing."

"You look…mad."

"I assure you, if I were mad—I mean really mad—you'd know it." In reality, when she was most mad, she was really quiet. Then, she'd either get in really good workouts or have a really clean apartment—sometimes both. "It's just…the way you said that."

"About Dad having common sense?"

Kate conceded "yes" with a small shrug of her shoulder.

"Sorry. Paige just sent me another text. She's still mad at me," Alexis explained, twirling her fork in her pasta. "But, I meant it more as a joke. Really, I think it's sweet—him trying to impress your dad like Ashley does with him."

Kate smiled at Alexis, half in apology for her own irritation and half for the fallout she was experiencing from outing Kyle to Paige. "Your dad's insightful—in ways that don't occur to other people. And he knows when to be serious."

"I forget sometimes," Alexis said, stopping abruptly with her fork resting upright in her plate. "You see these sides to him that not many people do. Probably more than I do, really. When he's serious or upset or anxious. I mean, I know we joke that I'm the parent and he's the unruly kid, but obviously that's not true. And we fight sometimes, but it's just nice to know that he has someone, too. And that you can take him seriously."

"Well, not too seriously," Kate teased. "That would be—"

"Boring."

"Exactly." _And so not what I need._

* * *

><p>When they walked into Bideawee, Kate was immediately impressed with how clean and quiet the place was. Unlike the other two animal shelters they'd been to, it didn't stink and the walls and floors weren't dingy. Between the cushy chairs in the lobby and the lack of hokey-cheap looking posters sporting cats in hats and dogs playing poker or inspirational sayings, Kate concluded that Bideawee was privately founded and funded. She looked around, taking in the oil paintings of people and their pets that decorated the walls and noted another wall that was dedicated to thank-you notes and pictures of adopted dogs and cats with their new families.<p>

When a woman appeared behind the counter, Kate smiled and introduced herself and Alexis.

"Ah, yes. I'm Claire. We spoke on the phone." Kate had filed away all her descriptors of the woman before she finished speaking: Five-foot-five, 180 pounds, short red hair, and purple glasses on chain around her neck. A little uptight, but kind.

Kate had called ahead knowing they had strict adoption guidelines, just like each of the shelters. While this one didn't require home visits, they did demand to meet each member of the household and observe the interaction between the potential adoptee and adopters. Alexis and Kate had decided on their story while camping. If anyone asked, Kate was Rick Rodger's fiancée and staying with Alexis while her father served overseas. Kate had wanted to go with step-sister, but Alexis had insisted that this was much more believable. Plus, she'd already explained the situation to their building superintendent and received a letter of support from him—which backed up the "Kate as fiancée" story. Alexis had been thorough; she also had a certified copy of the building's bylaws which indicated that they could, in fact, have a dog, cat, fish or bird.

"I'll just have you sign in here," Claire indicated a book on the counter, "And if I could see your ID?" Kate and Alexis each offered her some identification. When done, Claire offered them a clipboard with a questionnaire to complete. Kate fought the urge to comment on how extreme the whole procedure seemed—just to look at some dogs, but took the clipboard with a smile.

Kate and Alexis sat down to answer the questions together. It required basic household information, details on how far it was to the nearest park, how often the family traveled, and if they'd had a pet before. It even had questions on how stable and safe the home environment was, family issues and a series of multiple choice statements like "When you get angry, you are most likely to…" It was four pages long! By then end, Kate wondered if they'd want to do a cavity search or see her records from grade school? You'd think they were trying to adopt a kid, not a dog!

Once they completed the survey, Alexis handed the clipboard back over to Claire.

"Thanks," she said. "It helps weed out those who are serious from those who aren't."

Kate smiled again. "It's no problem," Kate answered, though she was thinking, _Hmm, you'd think the $250 adoption fee would be enough to weed out those who were serious from those who weren't._

"You wouldn't believe how many people just up and leave at the questionnaire."

_Yes, I would. _While Claire looked over their paperwork, Kate rolled her eyes at Alexis, causing the girl to smirk.

"Alright, then. Everything looks good here. Why don't I buzz you in? See if we can't find you all the perfect pet companion?"

_Oh, Lordy! _Kate thought walking through the painted pink door. _This place has more security than the precinct!_ They had to go through two more doors before arriving at the dog kennel area.

Even back there, it was surprisingly quiet. There were several areas that basically looked like long hallways lined with two rows of large kennels. Each hall had its own double doors.

"Now, down here," Claire explained, "you'll find mostly our large breeds—and some of our loudmouths, but sweeties, all of 'em. This row," she said pausing in the middle, "is where you'll find our mid-size breeds. Finally," Claire pointed to the last two rows, "you'll find our small breeds down that row—they're actually the loudest of the bunch—and puppies in the last one. Not too many in there, so also our overflow, but, as luck would have it, we're actually down in numbers now."

They heard another buzz, and Kate assumed someone else had entered into the front lobby. "Mackenzie here'll help introduce you to our gems—knows 'em all." She turned to the young, brown-haired girl who looked shier than a turtle and like she'd hide in her shell if given half a chance. But as the girl moved down the aisles talking to all the different dogs and telling them details about every one of them, Kate realized that the shelter was her shell. She became more lively as she went on—thanks in no small part, Kate was sure, to Alexis, who'd gone out of her way to try and relate to the girl asking her questions about the different dogs and what kinds of music she played for them—and a whole host of details that neither was really interested in.

After it had taken 15 minutes to get through the first hall—the mid-size dogs, Kate realized that it was going to take forever at this pace. When Mackenzie stepped toward the doors to the large-breed area, Kate stopped her.

"Actually, Mackenzie," she said with an apologetic tone, "I think a large dog is going to be a bit much for our space. I think we'll want something a little smaller."

"Oh," Mackenzie said, sounding slightly disappointed. "Do you know what you are looking for then?"

"A puppy?" Kate asked hesitantly. She wasn't sure when she'd decided it, but she knew now that she had her heart set on a puppy. That's what she kept picturing. She wanted to present Castle with a puppy, not a dog.

Mackenzie's shoulders sank—which surprised Kate a little, but she led them to the furthest row and pulled open the doors. She let Kate and Alexis step ahead. This room was different. Instead of kennels on each side, one side had rows of what looked like baby gates. You could look into each area, which came to mid-thigh, and see the puppies playing or cuddled up together. It looked like they kept the brothers and sister pups together, sometimes even with pups from other litters.

"You can step into any of the areas," Mackenzie told them, showing them how to open the gates. "Just watch where you step—piddle and such. They haven't all taken to the paper training."

"Oh, Kate! Look," Alexis said, leaning down to pick up a three-month old, wiry Dalmatian-mix. "It's the pups we saw online. I think this is the girl that was chewing on her brother's ear."

Kate walked forward, leaning over the gates looking in, while Alexis continued. She stepped over the gate into the next pen, with the Dalmatian still in her arms. "And look, here are the boxer puppies." Kate wrinkled her nose. They weren't cute even as puppies.

Kate listened with half an ear as Mackenzie began to tell Alexis all about Sadie, the Dalmatian puppy she was still holding, but she kept walking down the aisle. She stepped up to a gate with some smaller puppies all huddled together on a blanket. There were two reddish brown puppies and six black ones.

One of the brown puppies lifted its head and peeked at her. It had the bluest eyes she'd ever seen on a dog—not ice blue, but a warm, sapphire blue. She picked up the puppy, noticing he was a boy. He crawled up her chest and burrowed in her neck until she felt his warm nose on her neck.

"Lex," she called quietly, not wanting to startle the puppy.

When Kate turned around, Alexis awed and walked over.

"Who are these guys?" Kate asked. "I didn't see them online."

"The black puppies were dropped off last weekend. Litter of eleven pups, they dropped of ten. Mom's a Black Lab mix, don't know what the sire is, but the vet thinks maybe German Shepherd. The one you're holding and his siblings were dropped off when they were about four weeks old. They were hand-fed for a while. Mother's a Labrador Retriever and father's a King Charles Cavalier."

"They're so cute!" Kate said, pulling the puppy away from her to look at the cinnamon-colored puppy.

"Which is why we don't need to advertise for the puppies. These guys just went up for adoption on Thursday. A few people knew they were here, and were in right away. Litter of five and just these two left. Plus, they're already paper-trained since they've been with us so long. I'm actually surprised they're still here. There was a guy in, said he'd be back today for the little guy and there's another family that wanted her." Mackenzie said, nodding to the sister pup that Alexis had picked up.

She was nearly the same half red, half brown color as her brother, but her nose was a pinkish-brown and she had a spot of white on her chest. Her brother, though, was all one color—even his nose matched the rest of him. There was no way to describe his color other their color to say "cinnamon." They each had ears that were slightly longer and larger than a lab's would be, with fur that was a bit longer and wavier than a lab would have. The girl pup had a slightly bushier tail, longer fur all around and was a bit larger. Her eyes were a darker, midnight blue like most puppies had. The boy pup, except for his color, slightly curled fur and slightly longer ears looked just like a lab. With warm blue eyes.

It suddenly occurred to Kate that a lab might just be too big—and she didn't know anything about King Charles Cavaliers, except that it sounded like a regal, Castle-worthy breed.

"How big are these guys gonna get?" Kate asked.

"It's a bit of an odd breeding, to be honest. Totally accidental. The sire's actually a show dog." Mackenzie pointed to the wall. "Pics of mom and dad are there. She was a family dog. Hit by a car. The vet expects they'll be about knee height when full grown. Though, this guy might be smaller. He was the runt and he's got smaller paws."

"So, I know a bit about labs, but what are these Cavaliers like?"

"Very similar to a lab, actually. They're very affectionate."

"I can tell," Alexis said, turning her head from puppy kisses.

"Playful and loyal. Smart, too."

"Barkers?" Kate asked, thinking of Martha.

"Not normally, no," Mackenzie answered.

Kate fell quiet while she continued to pet the pup's silky fur and he gnawed playfully on her fingers. It seemed he was ready to play so she set him down to get a better idea of what he was like. She grabbed a toy with a bell in it and played tug-o-war with him. Alexis released the pup she was holding as well and they laughed when she immediately tackled her brother. The black lab puppies were all around their feet now, too, giving Kate an opportunity to appreciate the size difference between them.

While all the puppies were scampering around, chewing on one others' ears and vying for attention, the little boy pup made his way back over to Kate and sat on her foot. She scooped down to pick him up again. She couldn't resist. He was too cute and cuddly. She could picture Rick with this dog. Walking in the park. On the beach she'd never seen. From somewhere in the back of her mind, she drummed up a vision of herself presenting this beautiful cinnamon-colored pup with a cream bow around his neck to Rick, and she knew that's how it should be.

"So, what do you think, Kate?"

Still daydreaming, Kate turned to Alexis with a small smile on her face that wouldn't stop growing.

"What do _you _think?"

"Yeah. Definitely yeah." She looked down around her. "But, which one?" she asked as she leaned down to pick up the girl again.

Kate knew. But she thought she ought to give the girl a chance. Plus, if Alexis had a preference, it might be possible to sway her. They switched puppies. Kate was surprised at how much heavier the girl actually was. Still light, but much heavier than the boy. And her eyes didn't make her think of Rick.

She looked back over at Alexis. The boy pup was worming his way in, she could tell. "So, what do you think?" Kate asked.

"He's sweet, but so is she."

"But he' so cute and cuddly. And he might be smaller."

"But she seems to like fetch more."

"But he's cuddly."

"You mentioned."

"And he's a boy."

Alexis looked at her, perplexed, wondering what that had to do with it.

"Your dad's kinda out-numbered."

"A dog's not gonna change that."

"But he could at least claim the boy pup is on his side."

"I don't know. I think he's already claimed you."

"Not in so many words."

"More. I'd say. Three novels?"

Kate raised her eyebrows, not wanting to concede the point, but also not really wanting to contest Rick's claim on her. If Alexis was willing to pretend it was just courtesy of Nikki Heat, she'd play along for the moment.

"It doesn't matter, though." Alexis said. "I meant him." She wiggled the pup in her arms and grinned.

"Oh." Kate blushed. "Well, I like him, too." _Stupid._

"So, it's him?"

"Yeah." _Wait._ _HIM him? Or the puppy him?_ "Th—the puppy. I mean, if you think…"

"Dad will love him."

They left with the puppy and a small bag of Purina puppy food only after sitting through an hour long interview-slash-interaction observation with Claire that rivaled some of Kate's own interrogations.

"_And are you sure your father, your fiancé will be welcoming to this new addition to your family?"_

"_Yes. Quite."_

"_People change and can change their minds."_

"_My dad won't."_

"_Rick's very committed." _

"_But he's not here."_

"_Because he's serving our country and supporting others' right to freedom, while you're questioning his commitment." Alexis replied indignantly. She was really selling it._

"_I'm sorry. I mean no offense, but what happens to the puppy if things between you and Mr. Rodgers don't work out?" Claire directed her question to Kate._

"_Again, you're questioning his commitment!" Alexis exclaimed. "And you don't even know him!"_

"_And mine."_

"_That's kind of the point. I don't know him, but I have to make a determination as to whether we'll be turning over this puppy. What happens if one of you decides to leave the residence? Where will the puppy be then? Will it be left with Mr. Rodgers? And I don't know him."_

"_The fact is, it won't happen. Dad loves Kate."_

"_And things not working out isn't a scenario we are willing to entertain," Kate added. "I'm more apt to be killed in the line of duty." Alexis stiffened beside her and realized she shouldn't have said that._

"_For—" _

"_Ma'am, I can appreciate that you're just doing your job, but if you're concerned about who Rick is, you shouldn't be. He's the kindest, most loving and amazing man I've ever met. He managed to raise this beautiful girl into an intelligent and thoughtful young woman all on his own. He loves dogs and cats as much as you do. If you think we're okay—well, as much as we like this little guy, Rick's going to love him even more." _

Kate smiled to herself; she could see the moment Claire had been convinced. Alexis had needed to rely on a white lie for her impassioned plea, but Kate was convincing because she hadn't forced a single word she'd said. Claire finally stopped questioning their fictitious home environment and walked them through all the additional paperwork. This time it felt like 40 pages, not four.

* * *

><p>Now that they were finally back at her apartment, Kate felt herself relax. She'd been so apprehensive about the possibility of all those cameras being outside her apartment, she'd gone as far as to ask Alexis if she thought they'd be there. Alexis had been pretty confident that they wouldn't be—especially since her dad had called Paula. They hadn't been there this morning when she'd slipped in wearing yesterday's clothes—<em>wouldn't that have been great, especially if they discovered she had been at Castle's?<em>—but she'd still worried about the possibility that they were back.

They hadn't really talked about it. Alexis and Martha had asked if she was okay and Alexis had again been apologizing profusely when Kate threatened to shoot _her _if she said "I'm sorry" one more time. She assured them she'd be fine.

"_I've got you guys, right?" _She'd asked and received no argument, only shiny-eyed nods of approval from the two red heads and a side-hug from the man standing close beside her.

Now, she looked around her full apartment. Puppy toys and small carry crate because the clerk said not to get one too big, that it wouldn't be comforting. A puppy blanket and two dog dishes. She'd planned on Lanie and Alexis, but when Madison called when they were on their way home and heard about the puppy, she wanted to come meet the creature. She was closing the door from letting Maddie in when, she heard a voice call out, "Don't shut it yet, Katie."

She'd pulled the door wide with a smile on her face recognizing her uncle Dan's voice. He was taller than her dad and burlier like her grandfather had been. Their older brother, her Uncle John, had called him "Lumberjack" from the time he hit high school. Her Uncle John was gone now; it was just her Dad and Uncle Dan—and her aunts and cousins, of course, left on the Beckett side.

Her dad gave her arm a quick squeeze and bypassed her for the puppy, but her uncle wrapped her in his customary bear hug and spun her around, squeezing until her ribs protested. When he set her down, both their heads swiveled to the living room.

"Ah, there's my girl," her father said, wrapping a grinning Alexis in a similar bear hug—though it didn't appear to be threatening Alexis' ability to breathe. Apparently, she hadn't been bypassed for the puppy, but rather Alexis.

Kate looked past them to the couch where Lanie sat and caught her eyes with a questioning look. She could see Lanie processing this new information. She looked to Maddie and found she was also looking at her with unspoken questions shining through. She looked back at her uncle and shrugged at all of them.

_Was it normal to be displaced in your father's eyes—or arms—by your teenage friend? Your partner's daughter? _She couldn't find it in her to be bothered by how close they'd become, even knowing how quickly it had happened. In fact, "bothered" was far from how she was feeling. It was something warmer and fuzzier.

"So, where is that little guy?" Jim asked.

"He ran into Kate's bedroom when Maddie knocked." She turned to Kate. "You have a lot of junk under your bed. I couldn't reach him."

"It's not junk!" Her eyes widened. "It's—my boots! He better not be chewing on my boots!" You couldn't call it racing exactly, since no one tried to beat her there, but she was in her room in a flash, while everyone else laughed at her.

"You must be Alexis," Dan said, holding out a hand to Alexis. "You dad wouldn't shut up about you."

Alexis smiled and shook his hand. "That's funny. It's normally Kate he doesn't shut up about."

"I'm Dan, Jimmy's big brother."

"Pleasure to meet you, Sir."

"So formal. No more of that, 'kay?"

"Uh, yes, Sir."

He gave her a look.

Alexis smirked at him. "Danny."

He gave her another look. "Dan."

"Oh, I don't know. I'm liking Danny," Lanie piped up. Jim laughed.

"Lanie, good to see you again," Dan shook her hand. "I might let Red get away with it, but not you."

"And you," she said before turning to Jim. "Boys good for you?"

"Yup. Big help. Got everything done. Looks great."

"No one lost a limb?" Alexis asked.

"All good." Dan replied.

"Mr. Beckett," Madison stepped forward, as both men's heads turned toward the blonde. "Good to see you. It's been a while."

"Maddie—you're over thirty. You can call me, Jim."

Madison playfully slapped his shoulder. "Don't tell people I'm over thirty."

"You know, Dan, right?"

"Of course. You probably don't remember me, but I was in Kate's class—with Jeff."

"Oh, no. I remember. You're the one who turned him down so many times. Katie and Becca got so sick of him hanging around you girls all the time. Begged me to send him to boot camp."

"Well, I hear it worked out well. Becca says he's married now, with a kid."

"And another on the way."

"Really? Kelly's pregnant?" Kate asked stepping out of her room with the puppy.

"Just told me last week," he said, as he, her dad and Maddie all reached toward the puppy, who cowered into Kate. She kissed his head and handed him to her dad.

They all "oohed" and "awed" over the puppy, and laughed at his antics when he became braver and wanted to play.

"So, does this guy have a name?" her dad asked.

"Well, I can guarantee you it won't be 'Jack'."

"Jack's a good name. Suit's him fine."

"No name," Alexis said.

"Kate says she know what Castle's going to name him," Lanie said.

"We've been trying to guess—"

"But they're not even close."

There was another knock on her door. With everyone there, Kate worried it might be Castle and panicked momentarily, but Lanie was already getting up to answer the door.

"That'll be Javi and Kevin. They wanted to see the puppy, too."

"What?" Kate exclaimed. "They left Castle alone?"

Lanie let them in and before they could even say hello, Kate asked them directly.

"You left Castle unattended?"

"Uh…unattended? He is a grown man, Beckett," Ryan answered.

"You _know _he knows Alexis is here. Where do you think he's going to end up?"

"Nah, he said he was headed home," Esposito explained. "Shower. Writing."

"Um-hmm. He's gonna be on my doorstep."

"I'll go call him, Kate." Alexis assured her while the boys sat on the floor to play with the puppy. The puppy seemed to prefer Esposito and they were joking with Kevin, offering to tie a T-bone around his neck, while he kept insisting that it was just that the puppy could smell Jenny's cat and thought him a traitor.

"Hey, Boss, what are you going to name him?" Kevin asked.

"He's not mine to name."

"Really? You call her 'Boss'?" Dan asked, surprised.

Ryan tucked his head a little sheepishly. "Well, she's our boss."

"The _Captain_ is our boss."

"The Captain is the Captain," Esposito said. "You're Beckett, the Boss."

"Makes you sound like a mob hit man," Alexis said. "Dad would be proud."

Her uncle was enjoying this as much now as he had earlier in the day when he'd figured out they were talking about his niece when they referred to "the boss."

"Why's that so funny?" Maddie asked. Kate groaned knowing what was coming. It was one of her uncle's favorite stories to tell about her.

"When my daughter, Becca, turned ten, we took her, a friend and Katie to the movies. There was little Katie sitting in the middle of the backseat between the two older girls, talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up. Becca wanted to be a doctor or a veterinarian and the other girl wanted to be a teacher. They went back and forth. I'm sure they threw out more things. Katie'd been silent the whole time, then outta nowhere, she pipes up. 'I don't care what I am. I just wanna be the boss!'"

Kate was already red, knowing what her friends were going to hear, but she laughed and shook her head. They were all laughing at the story.

"_Danny_, that's fantastic. You have to tell my dad that story."

_Danny? _No one called her uncle that.

"Next time I see him, _Red._"

_Red? What the hell? They already had nicknames for each other? _She looked between the two. Everyone else seemed to be laughing, but she was merely confused. She couldn't wait to share this tidbit with her aunt.

"I gotta say, though," her uncle Dan continued, "Katie's the only one who followed through. Becca never committed to four years of college and last time I saw Dana, she was working the checkout counter at the grocery store."

Kate smiled at him, knowing he was proud of her. In the lull, she heard the elevator ding and looked up at Alexis.

"That's your dad."

"Huh?" She hadn't heard anything.

Everyone started talking and she hushed them. They didn't believe her.

"Did you get ahold of him?" she asked quietly.

"No, but I left—" Alexis started explaining.

"Beckett—" Esposito tried.

"You can't—" her dad tried.

"Now that's ju—" Lanie looked irritated.

But they were all interrupted with a knock at the door.

Kate turned and glared at the boys.

"What?" Ryan asked quietly. "You don't know it's him."

More knocking. "Kate?"

More glaring.

"Tell him you have company," Esposito whispered.

"No, I'm not telling him I have company! He'd still want in."

"Can you imagine what kind of company he'd think she had when she didn't let him in?" Lanie hissed.

More knocking. "Kate? Alexis?"

"Good point," Maddie said. "Tell him you're naked!"

"No! I'm not—"

"Do you want him to bust down the door?" Lanie asked. "Cause he's done it before when she was naked."

"What?" Madison asked.

"Naked?" her father questioned.

"Bomb. Apartment."

"You left out that detail," Madison accused.

"Really? _Now?_ I didn't think _everyone_ needed to know." She glared at Lanie, while her father crossed his arms and glared at her.

"It was called _Naked Heat_," Alexis said.

"Not helping, Lex."

"He's still out there," Dan said.

"Also not helping. You four, my office. Take this stuff" She gestured to the boys, Maddie, Lanie and the toys on the floor. "You three, my room. Take the puppy and hide in my bathroom if you have to."

More knocking "Kate? I know you're in there. I can hear you moving around."

"I'm going to get your Dad out of here. You call him—and get him to go home. Lanie, you stay with the puppy when Alexis leaves. The rest of you—I don't know! But you all better keep quiet!"

"I can see why you call her 'the boss,'" Kate sneered at her uncle, before going to answer the door. She checked over her shoulder once to ensure they were all out of the way and that there was no puppy paraphernalia lying around to give them away.

"Hey, Castle," she pulled open the door, not entirely prepared for the sight and smell of a freshly showered Castle. He dipped to kiss her cheek, causing her heart to pace faster.

"What took you so long?"

"Cleaning. Earbuds." She answered as he walked past.

"Where's Alexis? Thought I'd treat you girls to dinner. What do you say?"

"Sounds great, but Alexis already left."

"Ditched you for Ashley, huh? Now you know how I feel."

"Uh, no. Said something about wanting to spend some time with you. She called you, I think."

Castle pulled out his ringing phone and noticed a message from Alexis. He was just finishing listening to his message when they heard something in the direction of Kate's office.

_Maddie. _Kate had thought twice about sending her in there where she knew her mother's murder board was open, but she thought Maddie would rather be with Lanie and the boys and she did _not _want the boys in her room. She figured the boys or Lanie might look, but that they'd keep Madison away. _Obviously not._

"What was that?" Castle asked.

"What was what?" With the look Castle gave her, she knew that wasn't going to work. "Oh, that?" she nodded in the direction of the noise.

Castle nodded.

"New neighbor."

"Mrs. Hanson moved?" he asked doubtfully.

Kate shook her head. "Why does it not surprise me that you know my neighbors?"

"Well, not all of them. She's a fan. Gave me tea and showed me pictures of her grandkids while I was waiting for you one day."

Well, that explained why Mrs. Hanson was always asking after Mr. Castle and glaring at Josh. _Poor Josh. He got a bad rap from everyone in her life—'cept Maddie._

"So, you heading out to meet up with Alexis?"

"What? No. Just you and me, Detective. Alexis called to say she wouldn't be home for dinner."

"Huh?"

"Ashley, I'm guessing. See? You were ditched for the boyfriend."

When Kate didn't answer, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels. "So? What do you say we order in?"

"Actually, Castle, I'm not too hungry. Lex and I had a late lunch."

"Kate," he scolded. "Now, you know what happened yesterday when you didn't eat."

"That's 'cause your mom drugged me, and you know it! Besides, I made you breakfast. Go eat that!"

"Oh, come on, I'll tell you how Ryan scared the shit out of your dad and uncle Dan. Nice guy by the way. Learned lots of new stuff about you, Ms. Beckett."

Kate groaned, but she didn't doubt it. _How, again, had they all ended up spending the day together?_ She needed tighter control.

"Plus, I've got some juicy Esplanie news." Castle leaned forward, and went all serious on her, whispering. "Of the life changing four-Cs with four little words on bended knee variety."

Kate's eye's widened. She knew she had to get him out of there and fast!

"You know what, Castle? I am a little hungry," she grabbed his arm. "Come on. I'll buy _you _dinner."

"Oh, no. My treat. I already said."

"But that was when we were ordering in," Kate said, trying to usher him out the door.

"We could still stay in." Castle stopped in her doorway, refusing to budge. "Relax. Watch a movie." He really wanted to stay. He loved her apartment and there was far greater chance of cuddling if they stayed.

"Uh-uh, Castle. Dinner. Out. I'm buying. Italian?"

Kate grabbed Castle's hand and pulled him out of her apartment. The door shut, and two others opened. They were all quiet as they listened to the voices fade down the hall.

"No. I'm buying. I was thinking Thai."

"No way. You can't have Thai."

"Sushi?"

"Maybe. No wasabi for you, though."

Everyone was smiling, except Esposito who looked oddly pale. Lanie and Alexis high-fived. They hadn't planned that, but it couldn't have worked out better if they'd tried.

* * *

><p><em>So…I hope that was somewhat worth the wait, but I am really sorry I made you wait! This chapter was much longer than I intended for it to be. I wanted to show how serious and thorough Kate had been about finding the perfect puppy, but I honestly, I didn't expect them to end up back at Beckett's apartment. Still, I like how it worked out. <em>

_What do you think? Do you like the puppy? I'd love to hear from you!_


	47. Ch 47 Better Late than Never

**Hello all! Thank you for the continued interest, lovely reviews and alerts. As a reminder, since I haven't put one in a long time: just borrowing the characters and having fun with them. Mistakes are mine.**

Recap: _Kate and Alexis spent a whole day looking for the perfect puppy for Rick. They finally found him, and took him back to her place. But, everyone ended up back at her apartment because they wanted to see the new puppy. Unfortunately, with no one supervising Rick, he ended up there, too. Kate had to think fast to get everyone hidden and him out of her apartment before he spilled the beans about Esposito's plans to ask Lanie to marry him. You can see the puppy here: _/entry/8082803

* * *

><p>Chapter 47 – Better Late than Never<p>

Tuesday, Kate walked into the precinct later than she had planned. Her _Canis lupus familiaris_ alarm clock had gone off more times in the night than she'd thought possible. Every time she looked over the edge of her bed at the whimpering pup, she felt guilty for leaving him in his so-called "comforting" kennel.

She finally gave up and let the little creature into her bed—she couldn't take those sad puppy eyes looking at her through the carry-cage door any more. He nosed his way under her blanket and settled next to the curve of her side—just like he'd done the previous few nights. She spent the next part of the night worried about smothering the little guy. When she finally slept, she woke to not to her alarm clock, but to Little Creature—as she dubbed him in her mind until Rick could officially name him—crawling over her neck, seeking more warmth. She moved him once, but he returned.

She'd picked up the floppy puppy then, and held him above her head, with his nose hanging down to hers.

"_Listen, Mister. You're in my bed. That right there's pretty damn rare. But you do not get to sleep on my neck. Capice?"_

_He licked her nose, and Kate quietly chuckled at his timing as she sat him back down on her chest._

"_Ah, a comedian, eh?" _

_Little Creature leaned forward seeking her neck again, but this time slid off her should her onto her mattress. _

"_No?" Kate answered for him. _

_He licked her neck once, and then again. _

"_A charmer then, huh?"_

_Then Rick's puppy buried his nose under her neck. _

Yeah, you'll fit right in_, Kate thought, her "you do remind me a little of hooch" comment coming to mind. It was like that in reverse. Little Creature was Castle's canine counterpart._

But Rick had yet to make her late for work. His puppy on the other hand? He'd made her late two days in a row. Monday, the day before, she was just a little late because she spent too much time trying to get him to walk on a leash without realizing how much time had passed. Today, she was really late because the puppy had messed in the gym bag she was using to carry him in and out of her building without anyone noticing.

And what a mess! She'd debated throwing the gym bag out the garbage chute, but decided she had to wash the puppy anyway. She rinsed the bag in the tub and threw it in the washer. Then she washed the pup—three times—because she knew she'd end up putting him in her bed again. Then, finally she'd cleaned her bathtub, and that's what she'd been doing when Alexis let herself in.

"Kate!" Alexis said in surprise when she stepped into Kate's room. "What are you still doing here?"

"Don't ask," she said, pulling her t-shirt off, and switching back into her blouse. The bathroom door was open, but she was mostly obscured and she wasn't wearing a revealing bra, so she wasn't too concerned about embarrassing herself or Alexis.

The puppy followed the sound of this new voice and emerged from the bathroom. He was obviously fresh from the bath.

"Oh, Skippy. What did you do, huh?" Alexis asked, joining him on the floor.

Kate laughed. "Not Skippy. And trust me, it wasn't pretty."

"Least it wasn't your bed."

Kate didn't even bother denying that the puppy had slept in her bed.

"Sorry, Lex. I gotta run!"

"Don't forget to ask Lanie."

"'Kay. See ya tonight!" she called, thankful Alexis had her overnight bag this time.

Their original plan had been for Alexis to just stay there until Castle's birthday, but that hadn't worked out. She'd been there with Rick's puppy during the day, though, and Kate had been lucky she'd received no after-hours calls.

* * *

><p>When Kate stepped off the elevator, her eyes were already on her desk, or more specifically, Castle's chair. He wasn't there. She glanced to the break room on her way to her desk and didn't see him there, either. She breathed a sigh of relief as she sat at her desk. She thought she was free and clear, but then her eyes traveled further, to the man leaning just inside the captain's door, listening to the office's occupants.<p>

The man's back was to her, but there was no mistaking who those broad shoulders and that impeccably groomed mass of hair belonged to. Kate groaned. Castle was definitely there. And he wasn't just there. He was there and decked out in a nice pin-striped suit, fitted tight across his back, accenting his lanky torso. It was a modern fit, narrowing from his shoulders to his lean hips. It was different from other suits she'd seen him in. Not black or grey or even blue. Nope, this was a dark, rich mahogany. The suit had a sheen to it. It looked fancy. He looked…_delectable_. Kate sucked in her bottom lip. She liked the suit coat, but she wished he didn't have it on.

Kate forced her eyes away from him, thankful no one had caught her ogling her partner's backside, wishing for a better view. She took a look at her inbox, and wondered who she was going to piss off today. Yesterday, it had been two attorneys, each expecting her to be in different court houses at the same time. Today, it looked like it was going to be a union rep.

He wasn't pleased with her deposition regarding Officer Ojeda's discharge of his weapon two months ago. They'd responded to a domestic disturbance involving their suspect, and Officer Ojeda had fired unnecessarily. Now, his union rep was calling to make sure she was "of a clear mind" and not under any "stress" when she made her statement. Men like him pissed _her _off. _Why doesn't he just come out and ask if it was me if it was my time of the month?_ This union rep wasn't doing his rookie any favors.

Kate sighed and saved the voicemail in a file for future reference, and opened up her notes related to this internal case to log the call.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Castle asked.

"Just your gender," she said before she looked up to the man now standing beside her desk.

When she did, she almost wished she hadn't. His suit jacket was open, revealing a silk brown tie against his crisp white shirt. French cuffs, mother-of-pearl links, a stiff collar, and a coral pocket square. It was really hard not to stare. And he seemed to know it.

Ryan and Esposito followed behind him, catching her attention. They were each in suits as well—a three-piece for Ryan, no tie, and a darker grey two piece with a slim black tie for Esposito. She glanced over each of them, eyes returning to Castle. They were all good looking men, but Castle was the only one who left her feeling flush.

"Did I miss a memo?" Kate asked, confused.

"Photoshoot," Castle answered.

"Oh, God! Don't—"

"Not here. This morning. I had one. Black Pawn wanted a new shot for the dust jacket."

Kate turned to the other two.

"I just always look this good." Ryan said, tugging on his lapels.

"Taking Lanie out," Esposito answered.

"You're doing _that_ tonight?" Beckett asked.

"_No!_ Not _that._ Told you. I need your opinion."

"Technically, you didn't. Castle did."

"Same diff."

_Uh, no, Esposito. Not the same. Not the same. 'Cause talking to you doesn't…Concentrate, Beckett!_

"So, what do you need me for?"

"There's too many. I need you to tell me which one."

"Have you even narrowed it down?"

"I told you, man. You gotta stop looking online," Ryan put in.

"You're looking online?" Castle asked.

"Not just online. But those sales guys. They circle like sharks. I can't think when they're there."

"And you're sure?" Beckett asked.

"What kinds of question is that? Of course, I'm sure. It's Lanie."

"Trust me," Castle said all cocky-like. "A man does _not _ask for the 'ole ball and chain unless he's sure."

"I'm just…it seems soon."

She knew they were living together, though Esposito still had his own apartment until the lease was up. And Lanie was serious about him—but Kate was still concerned. It was a big change from the Lanie who wanted to keep it casual—who always wanted to keep it casual. It had been a long time since she'd been in a committed relationship. Still, Kate couldn't deny that she'd been dropping hints, talking about marriage and babies and Ryenny and forever more than she ever had before. But it had only been…_what?_ _A month?...s_ince they decided to stop seeing other people.

"You think Lanie'll say no?" Ryan worried for his partner.

"No. I'm just…"

"Projecting?"

"Shut-up, Castle."

"Well, I'm not asking now. Over the 4th, when we've got some time off. Besides, we don't have to get married right away. It's just…just so she'll know."

"So, what are you worried about?"

"I gotta find the right one! I mean, come on. She wears silver and gold. How'm I supposed to know what to pick?"

"I thought the whole point of picking was to pick what _you_ think _she'd_ like?"

"But, you said it yourself…Lanie loves diamonds. You gotta help me find the right one."

"Shouldn't she be the first woman to see it?"

"You think I should let her pick it?"

"I didn't say that…but, Lanie does love shopping."

"Hmm."

"Don't do it, man!" Castle advised.

"No…Beckett might be on to something."

"Yeah, you just better make sure she knows about that two months' salary rule," Ryan said in all seriousness, as the two headed back to their desks "or your bank account will never recover."

"Two-month salary rule?"

"Dude, do you read anything?"

"Well, I'm not sitting around with _Vanity Fair_."

"Two months' worth of money, man. That's what you're supposed to spend on a ring."

"Joder! That's like—"

"Yeah, man."

"Shit."

Castle laughed at Esposito's obvious shock, and shrugged out of his suit coat. Kate pulled a manila file folder in front of her face, willing him to turn around before sitting down or to walk to the break room or something, but he didn't.

"So?" he asked.

"So, what?"

"What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Why are you frazzled?"

"I'm not."

"You are. And you were late."

"I wasn't late," Kate said straight-faced, trying not to smirk at his confused scowl.

"Right. You weren't late. That's why Ryan drank your coffee."

It was Kate's turn to scowl at him. "What have I told you about giving away my coffee?"

"Eh, it was cold by the time he got it anyway."

"Better have been."

"I waited for you."

"I'm here."

"Me, too."

"You don't need to be. No case, Castle."

He shrugged, and she didn't bother arguing. She could tell he wasn't going anywhere, so she dug in her top left drawer and pulled out a pad of paper. She took a pen from the cup on her desk and slapped it on the pad as she pushed it toward Castle.

"Here. Take notes."

They spent the rest of the morning leaned over her desk, heads together as they looked for inconsistencies among the case files piled high on her desk. They broke for coffee twice, but otherwise lost track of time. By one, when Castle's stomach growled, he suggested lunch, but Beckett wanted to keep working. She had been late, after all.

Castle left, promising to return with tasty sustenance, but Kate wasn't worried—Castle always chose well. In fact, half the time when she ordered, she found herself wishing she'd ordered the same as him. Castle's always seemed to look better.

Kate took advantage of Castle's absence and went to visit Lanie. She found Lanie eating at her desk—thankfully not on the exam table like Perlmutter did.

"'Bout time you made it down here! I heard you were late. That puppy make it to your boots or he still alive?"

Kate laughed. "Still alive. Thankfully, so far the only things he chews on are his toys, but…he did make a hell of a mess this morning." Kate filled her in on her adventures with Little Creature over the last couple of days.

"So, we didn't get to do our girl's night...tomorrow night instead?" Kate asked. "Pizza or Chinese—your pick?"

"You sure? Night before your boyfriend's back?"

"Lanie! You _know _we are over."

"Sorry. My point, though. I know you. Normally, you'd want to be alone."

"But this isn't normal. Josh and I already broke up…or tried to. This is clarification. And he'll get my messages when he gets back—maybe even before if he checks his email, so he'll know."

"Have you heard from him yet?"

"No, but I expect to tomorrow. I mean, if he's due back on Thursday—"

"You know, I don't get you, Kate. You hunt down his mom for a phone number. She tells you to contact the program director."

"Which I did. He said it was for emergencies _only_. Breaking up with a boyfriend doesn't constitute an emergency!"

"So, you'd rather wait?"

"Obviously. That's what I did."

"Wait's almost over now."

"I know," Kate smiled more brightly than most when do when envisioning a breakup.

She'd mellowed toward Josh over the last few weeks. After the things he'd said and the way he'd treated Castle, she didn't have a soft spot for him, but she could see things from his perspective. Mostly, she just felt bad for him. She'd known they would never accumulate to anything more than what they were from the start. Sure, they were attracted to one another, but it would never be anything deeper.

She couldn't give away pieces of herself that weren't even hers anymore. She'd taken a while to realize it or admit it. And for that, Kate felt a bit guilty. Because Josh didn't know that their coming together was superficial—just like he didn't know so much when it came to her. And he didn't even know that he didn't know, but everyone else did—and that made it worse.

Above all, Castle knew. He knew her. _Knows_ her. And she strongly suspected he knew what she was doing with Josh even when she didn't. And for that, she felt a lot guilty. But she was dealing with it—she'd spent much of the last few weeks quietly making her amends, not just to Castle, but to herself and her mom as well. She was finding her center, cleansing her conscience; being with Rick helped.

On top of her soul searching, she was trying to pin down all the things she'd done wrong with Josh and in past relationships so that she wouldn't repeat them with Castle. It wasn't a long list. Maybe that's what happens when you don't have _real_ relationships or maybe Kate was cocky, but she truly didn't believe she was in the wrong. _So what if she didn't open up?_ They weren't the right ones. And they obviously couldn't have been because Castle was. _Is._

Nothing she came up with seemed to apply when she considered a relationship with Castle. He already knew her. Sex too soon, like she categorized sex with Josh—hot or not—would _not _be an issue. Trusting him was _not_ an issue. Attraction and compatibility were _not_ issues. His mother would _not_ be an issue. The daughter thing was new, but definitely _not_ an issue. Publicity? She could deal. She was learning to deal. Other women? She trusted Castle, _and_ she carried a gun. And cuffs.

And, dammit, she'd use them on him. Especially, if he didn't stop wearing—

"Earth to Kate."

"Have you seen the boys today?" Kate asked suddenly. "They're all in suits."

"Guess I don't have to wonder where you went."

Kate's upper lip curled in the sneer she was so quick to fall back on.

"And to answer your question, yes, I saw Javi. He's a hottie. Ha. That's what I'm going to call him from now on."

"Javi the Hottie?"

"Looks good, donchya think?"

Kate nodded, but shrugged.

"But you had your eyes on Castle, huh?"

Kate smirked. "Looks better."

"Nuh-uh, Girl. Don't buy it. I helped dress that man. I know how good he looks."

"Mmm-hmm."

"Oh, my god! You're totally turned on right now!"

"Mmmm. May be." Kate blushed. She was. She could lift her hands off the steel exam table and see the outlines caused by the heat emanating from her body.

"See? This is why you should have let the program director call Josh. You could be taking care of this _right now_. Hell, I wouldn't have given him the courtesy."

Kate groaned. She did not need to be thinking these things! She straightened, knowing it was time to head back up.

"Poor Kevin," Lanie said, shaking her head. "No one's here to appreciate his efforts."

"I bet Jenny laid out his clothes," Kate said, heading for the morgue's swinging door.

"Did you _see_ that anniversary tie?" Lanie asked, in obvious disagreement.

"Later, Lanie!"

"Pizza!" Lanie called, but Kate was already out of sight.

* * *

><p>Back upstairs, Kate found Castle already digging into his sandwich. It looked messy, so she detoured into the break room for extra napkins and stopped at the vending machines—Coke for him, Sprite for her. When she sat down in her chair, she discovered a large container of fruit in her spot. She grinned widely. <em>Perfect. That man.<em>

"Thank you, Castle," she said, popping a piece of cantaloupe in her mouth.

Castle watched as she half-closed her eyes and hummed.

"This is delicious." She held out a chunk of pineapple for him to try. Mouth full, Rick just shook his head and nodded toward his sandwich. He hated to decline her proffered fruits, but there was something incredibly sexy about watching her eat something she loved. He was glad he'd picked that over the heavier sandwich he'd considered for her. _Very glad._

"Your loss," she said digging for a blueberry. She sighed in contentment. _So much better than a sandwich. _She wondered how he had known when she hadn't?

She'd intended to work through lunch, but they ended up just talking. Rick told her he was losing Alexis for the next couple of nights—that she was staying with Paige. Without even thinking, Kate made the mistake of saying, "Oh, so they worked things out?" and mentally kicked herself. She recovered before Rick could question her, by explaining that, the last she knew, they were still trying to figure out where they were going to do their girl's night.

Through with lunch, Kate cleared their trash and wiped down her desk. She placed the leftover fruit, on the corner of her desk—knowing Rick would snack on it. When she returned from depositing their cans in the recycling bin, she found Castle digging in his messenger bag. He glanced around the bullpen to see how many people were around then he looked at Kate expectantly, waiting for her to sit down.

"So, I was going to give this to you this morning when no one was around, but..." he smirked, "you were late."

He pulled a stack of envelopes from his lap into her line of sight. He'd tied them with the same twine he'd used when he sent her the gardening tools for Mother's Day. He was sure it wouldn't be lost on her and he knew she'd know what the envelopes were right away.

"I picked these up from the printer's yesterday afternoon. Of course, the others all went out a while ago, but I thought you might want to hand deliver these."

Rick watched her carefully, as she played with the twine bow. Kate's eyes were shiny, when she brought her eyes up to meet his. A raspy "Rick" was all she got out. She wanted to thank him, but she couldn't speak around the lump in her throat. Instead, she grabbed his left hand in her own, and held on tight. He knew what this meant to her. She didn't have to say anything; it was written on her face.

"Go on, Kate. Open it."

Reluctantly, she released his hand and picked up the stack of envelopes. She pulled the string binding them together and read the first name: _Det. Javier Esposito. _It was either a fantastic calligrapher's font or they'd been hand-printed. She couldn't tell, but her eyes were admittedly a little blurred with emotion. She flipped through the rest of the stack. _Det. Kevin Ryan and Ms. Jennifer Duffy-O'Malley. Capt. and Mrs. Roy Montgomery. Dr. Melanie Parish—_she hoped Lanie wouldn't kill her for that; she loved the name Melanie, but Lanie? Not so much.

_Mrs. Josef Petersik _. She knew her grandmother would appreciate the formal form of address, especially for an event honoring _their _daughter. _Mr. James Beckett. _She'd sent Sheryl a separate invitation. She knew they'd come together and she was fine with that, but at the time, she couldn't bear the thought of putting another woman's name on the invitation. She didn't think she'd do it differently even now. Not for something like this.

She flipped to the last one. _Det. Katherine Beckett. _For some reason, this surprised her. She hadn't anticipated getting an invitation to the event she helped plan. She set the others down on her desk and ran her finger over her name, and then along the top edge of the envelope. She tapped it against her hand and flipped it over. She traced the sealed edge with a slightly trembling finger.

"Are you going to open it?" Castle asked.

She looked up at him again then, and back down to the envelope cradled in her hands. "I—I can't. Not right now." She felt too exposed.

Her words caused Castle to wince, just ever so slightly, and she knew he was afraid he'd done something wrong, so she reached out to him again, putting her hand on her arm.

"Really. Thank you, Rick." She smiled at him. "And you're right. These are exactly the ones I would have picked for hand delivery, but I'd have put yours in this pile, too."

Actually, she knew she might hand deliver them all, but the captain's, Esposito's and Ryan's would all be left on their desks—they'd know where they stood and what it meant to her, but they wouldn't have to have any sappy, awkward exchanges. Only Lanie, her dad and Babi would get theirs in person. Hopefully, Lanie would keep her from crying. Her dad—she wasn't sure. Babi? She'd definitely tear up.

"Not too, worry, Detective. I have mine at home."

"So, I don't have to make a house call?"

"Oh, you're still welcome to make a house call."

Kate laughed at him. He had to know his waggling eyebrows ruined his attempt at a serious expression.

"Switch?" she said, holding out a case file to him. "You read, I write?"

"What? No. No one can read what you write."

"Can too."

"Can—"

"Hey, Castle," Ryan called, from the hall by the elevators. "You've got a visitor."

Castle looked over and grinned at the tall, big-bellied woman with the short auburn hair.

"H-hey! You made it!"

Though they'd never met in person, Kate immediately recognized the woman walking toward them and stood with Castle. It was Stephanie, his cousin and financial advisor. Wife to his best friend, Karamagi. Kate had never met either of them in person, though she had seen pictures of them on Facebook and she had an on-going game of "Words with Friends" with Rick, Karamagi and Alexis.

Castle grabbed Kate's hands—both of them—and pulled her toward the other woman.

"How's my namesake?" Castle asked her.

"For the last time, we're not naming the baby after you. We don't even know what it is," she said as Castle planted Kate's hands on his cousin's belly along with his own, even as Kate was pulling back.

"Ricardo. Richelle. I'm good with either."

His cousin slapped at his hands. "Stop doing that. You're embarrassing her. Besides, when they're this big, you can't feel anything."

Steph grabbed the hand that Kate was still trying to pull away. "If you want to feel," she said, gliding Kate's hand lower on her abdomen, "try here."

Kate cheeks tinted while Steph pressed their hands against into the underside of her belly. "That's his bum. He's sitting sideways, helping make me look wide as a whale."

Kate laughed. "I'm surprised you can tell. And you look far, far from whale-ish. It's nice to meet you, Stephanie."

"You, too, Kate."

"Small fish at best," Rick teased. "Really, you're beautiful, as always." He pulled his cousin in for a hug.

"Missed you, Ricky."

"Me, too."

"But…good news! We're coming home!"

"Really? That's awesome! When?"

"Apartment hunting this week. I'm going back full time to the firm after the baby's born and Magi's decided not to renew his contract. He really likes being at the UN better, and I hate DC."

"Here, I know a guy," Castle said, pulling out his phone.

"Of course you do," Steph laughed. Turning she winked at Kate. "Now that I've got him occupied with his gadget, how are you, Kate?"

"I'm doing well."

"Probably strange for you. Rick talks about you so much I feel like I know you."

"It is a little odd, but trust me, I know a fair amount about you and Karamagi and, of course, the kids."

"Speaking of," Castle said. "That's the really important question. Where is your better half?"

"He's coming up with Matteo."

"And KaraLynn?"

"She's with your mom"

"What? Are you insane?"

"Oh, stop it! She did just fine with you. She's giving her a tour of the theatre."

"Even better," Castle said rolling his eyes.

"Uncle Wicky!" a child's voice boomed through the bullpen, while the man holding him struggled to keep the leaping boy in his arms.

Karamagi stepped up next to his wife and friend, in time for Rick to reach out for the far-leaning boy before he toppled out of his father's arms. For only having just turned three, he was a tall, hefty kid with adorably chubby cheeks and next to no hair on his head. Looks wise, he reminded Kate of his father who had the same round head, and the solid, stocky—but not fat—build.

Karamagi was smartly dressed, in a three-piece suit, tie, shiny shoes and thick-framed, trendy looking glasses. Kate had it on good authority that it wasn't just a dressy day for him. No, according to Castle, Karamagi was always very formal. He said, even in college, Karamagi's pajamas were silk and collared, buttoned all the way up to the top. It was a wonder they were even friends—Rick's words, not hers.

Karamagi and Rick shook hands and hugged the best they could with Matteo between them. "Magi, my man! It's so good to see you! And you're coming home!"

Karamagi smiled one of the biggest, brightest smiles she had ever seen. He had the darkest, blackest skin possible which contrasted with the straightest, most fantastically white teeth she'd ever seen. His smile and genuine affection for his friend and family was quickly categorized as one of the most brilliant sights she'd ever laid eyes on. Kate had liked him before—just knowing what he meant to Rick and Alexis—but she liked him even more in person.

"Ha ha. Yes. A few months still before it is official, but I'll have the same position even. We are very excited, are we not, Matteo? Especially Mama."

"So, I've heard."

"Now, Ricky, it is time, don't you think, for me to meet this lovely lady?"

"Of course. Karamagi Iacocca, master of thirteen languages, I'd love for you to meet, Detective Katherine Beckett, also known as Nikki Heat."

This was yet another thing Kate already knew about Karamagi. His language expertise was part of the reason he'd been sought out by the Obama administration. Russian was not one of the languages he'd mastered, but he could speak French with her grandmother if the two ever met—on top of Italian, German, Swahili, a few tribal languages, Mandarin, and a few others she couldn't recall.

"Not known as Nikki Heat," Kate corrected, holding out her hand, which Karamagi turned in his own and bent to kiss. "It's nice to finally meet you in person, Karamagi."

Karamagi followed up the hand kiss by gripping her arms and placing a kiss on each cheek as he answered her. "Not near as pleasant for you, Katherine, as it is for me."

"Please. Feel free to call me Kate."

"Oh, don't take it personally," Stephanie said, "He calls everyone by their given names. But if you really don't want him to, he won't. For some reason, 'Ricky' here is the only one with a nickname."

"Ha ha. I told you. We are sworn to secrecy. You shall never hear that story."

Karamagi had an accent, but, oddly, he sounded British, which surprised Kate knowing he'd grown up mostly in South Africa and then Italy with shorter forays in England and France. And he didn't just laugh, he actually said "Ha ha."

"That bad, huh?" Kate asked, laughing at the face Steph made at her husband.

"That _good_," Ricky assured.

"Surely, you have methods to make him talk?" Stephanie asked her, nodding toward Castle.

"I do."

"She'd never break me."

Kate raised her eyebrow at his challenge, lowered her head and crossed her arms, giving him "the look."

"Ah, uh, of course, that's because, uh, I may have been," he paused his stuttering as Kate's eyebrow went higher, and finished rapidly, "uh, too drunk to, uh, actually recall this particular incident."

"So now the truth comes out! And she didn't even have to say anything!" Steph grabbed Kate's arm. "Oh, I love you!"

At that same time, Matteo lurched forward, grabbing onto Kate's neck.

"Matty, honey. You can't do that."

"No, he's fine," Kate said, adjusting the boy in her arms. He was larger than her cousins' kids had been at this age, but she could tell he still loved to be held. He was playing with her hair.

"He's not liking that I can't carry him anymore," Steph explained. "And, he's not been happy that I just chopped off all my hair. Easier with a new baby, but he's not adjusting well."

"I'm sure it's hard. He's been the little brother. Now, he has to learn to be the big brother, too. But, I bet you're going to be the best big brother in the world, huh, Matty?"

He nodded, all wide-eyed.

"Would you like to see my badge? Maybe meet a police dog?" Kate asked.

Matty nodded even more enthusiastically, so she took him to her desk and sat down with him. She had Ryan call down to see if anyone from the K-9 unit was in while Rick introduced his friends to the rest of the team. She offered Steph Castle's chair, but claimed she didn't want to struggle back to her feet. So, Kate played with Matty and observed the others while they talked. She loved seeing Rick so happy and animated, and having another part of his family home did that for him.

Karamagi and Steph made an interesting pair. Stephanie was as tall in flats as Kate was in heels, but Magi only had an inch or two on a flat-footed Kate. They had a fascinating story, especially Karamagi. They met at Rick's 30th birthday party—each only having heard about the other in passing—and were married six months later. Even more surprising, at the time, Karamagi had only recently left the seminary, deciding that priesthood wasn't right for him. He'd given it serious consideration though and remained deeply religious—which wasn't surprising given his background.

Kate had been captivated when Rick told her Karamagi's story. His mother had been a victim of gang rape in the northern region of Southern Africa. Pregnant and alone, she was taken in by some missionaries and taught general secretarial skills—filing, typing, phones and the like. They helped her find a job at the Italian Consulate in South Africa, where an Italian Consular fell in love with her—and her son—and kept coming back term after term until he convinced Karamagi's mother, Regina, to marry him and come live with him and his family in Italy.

Rick and Karamagi met during Rick's first term in college. They were roommates by second term. Karamagi offered advice whey Kyra left and was, as Rick tells it, the force that brought him back to reality when the money went to his head. Rick taught Magi to let loose and have a little fun, but for Rick, Karamagi was stable and forgiving and non-judgmental. And when Rick found out Meredith was pregnant and wanted to have an abortion, Karamagi flew half-way around the world to support his friend.

Rick wasn't at all sure he could do it. Be a father. Be there for Meredith. He was torn between letting Meredith do as she wanted and giving this child—_his innocent child_—a shot at life. A good life. Karamagi was the one who convinced him he could do it, who helped him discover what he truly wanted out of life for himself and his unborn child.

Karamagi had earnestly asked for permission to pray for him, and Rick, not believing, but knowing it was important to Karamagi, agreed. Honestly, it wouldn't have mattered to Karamagi, he'd been praying for his troubled friend since they met. It wasn't without its ups and downs and wayward paths, but it was safe to say that without Karamagi, Alexis might not be. And Rick certainly wouldn't be who he was.

Matteo had quickly lost interest in both her badge and her handcuffs, but the "COPY" and "FILE COPY" stamps on her desk were great fun. He wasn't yet wanting to leave by the time Steph and Karamagi were bidding their farewells and Rick was seeking assurance that they were still planning to stay at the loft.

"Will we see you on Thursday, Katherine?" Karamagi asked, lifting Matteo off her desk.

"Oh, I was just going to force or beg her to come at the last minute." In actuality, he hadn't mentioned it, knowing that his birthday and dinner with the family fell on the same day as Dr. Motorcycle Boy's looming return. The thought depressed him.

"I'll be there, Magi," Kate said, surprising and delighting Castle. "Alexis and Martha already invited me—probably to avoid kidnapping charges." She snuck a glance at Castle and savored his pleasure at her announcement.

"That would be detective-napping."

"Or woman-napping," Stephanie added.

"See? That's why you're not the writer in the family. Gotta dig a little deeper."

"Watch it, Ricky, or I'll have you investing in the world's worst performing markets."

"Stephanie, we really must go or we will be late," Karamagi put his hand on the small of his wife's swayed back, and began ushering her out of the bullpen. "You two can continue this later."

Kate said goodbye to them and got back to work while Castle walked them out.

* * *

><p>"Sparky?"<p>

"Scooby?"

Kate smiled at Lanie's guess. That was the closest either of them had come, and they'd been throwing out guesses for the last half hour.

"Sorry. No."

"Chance."

"Chase."

"Ooh, that would be fitting," Alexis exclaimed.

Kate left them there while she went to answer the knock on her door. Still smiling from Alexis' comment, she scooped up Little Creature on her way so he wouldn't escape into the hall. They were expecting the pizza delivery guy, but she should have checked the peep hole. It could have been Castle. But it wasn't. It was Josh. Back, apparently, a day early.

"Josh!" Kate exclaimed in surprise.

"Hey! You painted—" he said smiling, looking around her entryway that her father had painted a darker cream color when he painted her office blue.

"Honestly, what is it with these unannounced visits? Didn't you get my messages?" They were each speaking at the same time.

"And you got a puppy!" he reached out to pet the puppy, but Kate pulled him back, out of Josh's reach.

She lowered her voice. "I asked you to call and we'd arrange for you to get your stuff!"

"Yes, I did—" he said, reaching toward Kate and the puppy again.

"It's Castle's."

"But I didn't want whatever damn speech you prepared." His eyes darkened when he registered Kate's final comment.

They finally stopped talking over each other. Josh looked up and noticed the red head and Lanie come into view behind Kate. At the same time, Kate noticed the rolled up magazine Josh was twisting in his hands.

"So, it's true then?" he turned accusing eyes on her.

"Not exactly," Kate answered honestly. She turned around toward the ladies in her apartment. Alexis stepped forward and grabbed the puppy from her arms.

"I think it's time to take this little guy for a walk." Again, Kate thanked God that this girl was blessed with the grace of angels. Alexis grabbed the bag from the entryway and slid past them both.

Lanie on the other hand didn't look like she wanted to budge—not out of some bizarre need for rancid parlor entertainment, but out of concern for Kate's well-being.

"_Please_, Lanie."

"Fine. But we'll be back in 15 minutes." She turned to Josh. "And you. You keep your hands off her."

Josh looked at her, puzzled by her statement. He'd _never_ touched Kate like she was implying. _Was Kate spreading lies about him? Could be. She obviously wasn't all that honest._

The door shut behind them, leaving Kate and Josh in an unyielding silence. Kate didn't have anything she wanted to say; Josh had so much to say he didn't know where to start.

Kate turned and walked to her kitchen, she lifted the box she'd packed his things into from one counter and set it on the island between them, pushing it toward him. She didn't have anything at his place that she couldn't live without or didn't have in duplicate.

"Come on, Kate. Don't do this." He reached for her hand, but she didn't allow him to touch her.

"It's done, Josh. Since before you left."

"Because I left? I thought you were okay with that? With this?"

"No, Josh."

"No, it's not because I left or no you're not okay with me leaving? Because, I'll stay if that's what you want."

"It's neither, Josh. It's—" _God, she didn't want to hurt him any more than she already had._ "I'm—it's—look—I want to care that you're gone or care that you stay, but…"

"You don't."

Kate shook her head.

"It's Castle. Isn't it?"

Kate pressed her lips together. She wasn't about to discuss Castle with him.

"You couldn't wait to jump into his bed could you?" he said, raising his voice and waving, the magazine in front of her face.

"This has nothing to do with _that_ and _that's_ not even true!" she said pointing at the magazine.

"Right, Kate. I can see what's going on. I have all this _evidence_ you're so keen on. His kid's here. His dog's here. There's this." He slammed the magazine onto her counter. "And you were going to him when I left, weren't you? That's why you didn't make it to the airport. My God. You couldn't even wait that long, could you?"

"This! This is why we will never work, Joshua. You keep accusing me of sleeping with Castle—even using him for my own benefit, but you don't know him and you don't know me!" She knew it would be no use defending her honor. He didn't believe her before and now he had all this "evidence." It brought her anger at him back to the forefront.

"That's bullshit, Kate."

"Yeah? What's my favorite color, Joshua?" She tried to avoid spitting the words out, but wasn't all that successful.

"Blue."

"Purple."

"Bad example."

"Where'd I go to school? What's my dad's name? Do you even know any of that? That I hate red roses, even? How I like my coffee?"

"And I suppose Castle knows all that?"

"Yes. He does."

"And whose fault is that? You know what? Never mind. It's hardly the point. Those are little things. We can work on this. I can learn—you just have to be willing to share these things with me."

"It _is_ the point. We shouldn't have to work at it. Even just spending time together. It shouldn't be a chore. We should know things about each other—"

"And you know things about Castle?"

"I do. Weird things. Like how each he thinks each sock has a foot and how he—"

"So, you know he's just going to use you? Cheat on you? You'll just be another in a long line on women."

"You can leave. _Now_."

"Think about this, Kate," he said following her to her door.

"I don't need to think about it. You don't know anything about the man, but I can tell you this," she said spinning on him. "He's the better man. You know—all this time—he's _never_ done anything but support me, even when I was being an idiot and choosing you? He's _never_ treated you the way you treat him—even after you were an ass and hit him."

"Kate—" He tried again as she opened the door.

"No. You've given me enough reason to call this done. Even if Rick weren't in the picture. But he is, and you need to go." She forcibly moved him and his box of things to the other side of her threshold.

"Kate—"

"Let me be very clear this time, Josh. We are done. Over."

* * *

><p><strong>First: <strong>_**Kill Shot.**_** Ah! So, so wonderful! Better than Rise, I think. It may be better than all other episodes.**

**Second: A lot happened in this chapter. Josh is finally gone! Yay! I know you've all been waiting for that—especially Widget! Hope the breakup struck the right chord, not too soft, not too angry. Let me know what you think!**

**Funnily enough, as much as I was looking forward to this breakup (and trying not to rush it), as it turns out, Kate in bed with the puppy is actually my favorite part of this chapter.**

**And Karamagi is intentionally an anomaly, and another grounding source for Rick. We've seen some of Kate's extended family, so I thought it was time we meet some of Rick's. Plus, I need Karamagi and Steph's kids for some upcoming stuff.**

**Finally: It's Thanksgiving this Thursday here in the States—my favorite holiday. (Well, that or Easter.) Good food and lots of time with family and friends with the pressure of gifts and spending lots of moolah. I hope you all take a moment to count your blessings and that you have lots of someones to be thankful for. And know, I'm thankful for all of you! Happy Thanksgiving!**


	48. Ch 48 Good surprise?

**Hello all! :o) Hope you enjoy this! **

Recap: _Josh is officially gone. Javi wants Kate's help picking out a ring. Kate's worried it's too fast. Kate also finally met Castle's best friend, Karamagi—who's married to his cousin, Stephanie._

* * *

><p>Chapter 48 – Good surprise?<p>

Castle hadn't wanted to come into the precinct today, but Kate had insisted. He had wanted to spend the day moping around his apartment. He was forty. He needed a day to take it all in. And when his daughter hadn't come in to surprise him with his birthday breakfast—like she had every year since she'd turned eight, he'd done just that. There'd been no sign of his mother. Even Karamagi, Steph and the kids were out before he'd trudged from his room to the kitchen. Not that they shouldn't have been. He hadn't made an appearance until nearly eleven o'clock. Rick poured himself a bowl of Honeycomb, splashed on some milk and plopped himself in a chair at the table. He groaned when he realized he didn't even have anything handy to read. _This day sucked._

So, now here he was, sitting in his chair, watching Kate and Lanie set up plates around the cake she'd set out in the small conference room. She wouldn't let him come in to help even though he could see everything that was going on in there. And damn if she didn't look happy. _Really happy. Zippy? No, no. Sprightly._

It made him smile, a little, seeing her so happy, but it also made him hurt. He wondered if he'd always be looking on from afar, watching her be happy with someone else. _He_ wanted to be responsible for the smile on her face. _He_ wanted the right to pull her upturned lips into a kiss. That her degree of amusement and pleasure had only increased over the last few days—coinciding with Dr. Davidson's scheduled return to the States wasn't lost on him.

After living 14,600 days—yes, figuring that out had been part of his mid-morning mope—you'd think he would have progressed beyond the point where he was pining after a girl. An amazing, beautiful, totally smokin', clever, sensual, perceptive, wise and wise-crackin' girl—but a girl nonetheless. Woman, rather. _And taken._ Can't forget taken. No. As much as he wanted to, Castle could not forget that part. And soon, all the extra time she'd been spending with him, with Alexis—those delightful smiles, the light touches, the closeness they'd been sharing—it would all be buried. Not forgotten, but not revisited, and certainly not relived. Except by him, when he was alone at night. _Yeah. This day sucked. Hardcore. _

Kate stopped in the other room and looked out at him through the blinds. Their eyes held momentarily, with Kate's smile fixed in place until she realized Castle's vacant, wooden expression wasn't changing. He looked away, and her nerves rushed right back into action. She finished setting the last of the plates on the table. And looked down at the grocer's cake she'd picked up. It was nothing fancy, but she'd wanted to do this here.

Choufani took his guys out for a beer after work. Reynolds settled on gift cards—normally to his favorite steakhouse. The Captain had a long-standing tradition of giving everyone a day off for their birthdays—either the day of one's birthday or the Friday or Monday closest to for the always appreciated three-day weekend. Beckett's tradition was cake after lunch to help break up the day. She always invited the Captain to come sit with them, and Lanie had joined them for the past few years. Jenny had been invited to each of Ryan's last two birthdays, but she'd only made it to the one since they'd been engaged.

They'd sit for a bit, tell stories—eat cake. She usually gave the birthday boy a six-pack of his favorite beer and a pair of movie tickets. Nothing too special; it's just something she did for them, to let them know she appreciated them. When they were through, they'd throw the cake in the break room, get back to work and she'd come back at the end of the day to clear the crumbs away and trash the cake container.

In some ways this—what she had planned for Castle—wasn't any different than what she did for the boys. Castle was part of her team, so she wanted him here and to do this for him. She was still trying to stress with him how true this was. He'd been here to celebrate the boys' birthdays before, but this was the first summer he'd stuck around so that they could celebrate his birthday. She didn't think she'd have to work so hard to convince him to come in. When he hadn't shown up by lunch time, she'd called him a second time to ensure that he was really coming.

She could have done this at his home, she knew, especially seeing as she would be there later as well. But she wanted to do it here. It wasn't about showing off with the "hey, I got you a puppy!" If anything, she knew people would be reading into it. _Hell_, she thought, _they'll probably open up a new betting pool_. And she was sure Ryan and Esposito wouldn't be offended. They knew this was different, that Castle wasn't just her partner—and they'd be wise enough not to say anything.

Choosing the precinct was more a matter of reiterating to Castle that he belonged, that she was glad he was here—and more than just a little special to her. There was also no denying that doing this on her turf was a confidence booster for her, and as nervous as she was, she needed it. Because…_really, who gives someone a dog for his birthday?_ _And without discussing it first? And without even really knowing if he wanted the responsibility of having a dog? _She'd never done anything like this before.

"I swear, if you rotate that cake one more time, I really will smack you."

Kate pulled her hand away from the cake quickly, knocking over an empty cup.

"Why don't you grab the milk? I'll call Alexis and see where she and Martha are."

She'd started grabbing a gallon of milk to go with cake after Castle complained they couldn't have cake without milk on Esposito's birthday—the first birthday he'd joined them for, not too long after he started shadowing her. Castle had gone out and returned with milk, much to everyone's approval. _God, he'd irritated her then!_

She called Alexis, only to discover they were just outside the building waiting to be sure it was okay to come it. Kate grabbed Karpowski and had her go down to meet the two red heads. Karpowski—a dog lover in her own right—was going to take the pup to the locker room and keep him occupied until they were ready for presents. Not that they really did presents…but the boys and Lanie had a couple of things for him, too. He'd said no gifts allowed when he invited them to the cruise, but they had hounded her for ideas and run ideas past her, insisting on getting him something—especially since he was always doing for them.

Castle's demeanor completely changed when he saw his mother and daughter. As Alexis wished him a happy birthday, he engulfed her in a hug. From where Beckett stood, the teen nearly disappeared behind his arms. He wore his first real smile of the day, and Beckett hoped the puppy and camaraderie with people who cared for him would help keep it there. She knew he wasn't exactly thrilled about turning forty.

Lanie poked her head out of the small conference room. "Captain says get your asses in here and cut the cake already."

They walked into the room to find Lanie, the Captain and Ryan waiting for them. Kate chose a seat closest to the door, opposite Castle and next to the Captain, who always found himself at the head of the table whether planned or not.

"I didn't phrase it that way," Captain Montgomery said, standing to greet Martha with a kiss to the cheek. "And if I had, it certainly wouldn't have been directed at you two."

"We've heard worse," Alexis assured him.

"Besides, someone's got to keep Richard on task."

"So true," Ryan chimed in.

"But that's Beckett's job," Esposito finished.

"And she does a fine job of it!" Castle added.

"So fine, I think I'm overdue for a raise, Captain."

She could joke with him about this because she knew it wasn't in the budget. She knew, in fact, that if Choufani hadn't announced his retirement, the Captain would have had to let someone go. The vacancy wouldn't be filled when he left in a few months.

Montgomery leaned forward, one hand on the table and one hand making a fist with a protruding thumb—a very presidential-like stance. "Well, Beckett, I'm afraid that's above my pay grade."

They all laughed, because he pulled off the impression quite well. The Captain enjoyed imitating Obama, the mayor and other politicians from time to time—which was funny, because most people in his position would be itching to climb the political ladder. He wasn't. He was a good cop, trying to make sure his detectives had the tools and resources they needed to get the job done. And he was good at pushing aside all the B.S. and bureaucracy that often got in the way of getting the job done right and well.

"Come on, Castle. Cut the cake," Beckett directed. That was one thing she didn't do. She'd buy it and bring it, but she didn't cut and serve.

When they were about done enjoying the cake with the too sweet frosting that Beckett had pushed to the side and Castle had devoured—a corner piece, no less, Ryan presented Castle with small wrapped box.

"What's this?" Castle asked.

"Bro, really?" Esposito teased.

"Wrapping paper?" Ryan questioned.

"Bow?"

"On your birthday?"

"I'd say it's a birthday present," Esposito finished. She loved it when they did their back-and-forth thing. They make pick on Castle and her for completing each other's thoughts, but these two were just as in tune with one another.

"It's from the three of us," Lanie said, as the Captain quietly excused himself for his conference call.

"And when you're done with that, there's this one," Esposito said, setting a gift bag on the table in front of him.

"Aww, you guys didn't have to do that."

"We know," Ryan assured. "Just open them already."

Kate had given them ideas—everything from the batman belt buckle she saw to the funky t-shirts he seemed to favor—but she didn't know what they'd settled on so she was just as curious to find out as everyone else. She sent off a text to Karpowski.

Castle opened the first box and laughed when he realized what it was—a seat cushion, suitable for the spring-happy, pad-less passenger seat of Beckett's cruiser.

"Never let it be said that we haven't got your back," Ryan joked.

"It's really more of a pain in the ass," Castle said.

"Sounds like the seat was made for you, Richard."

"Thank you, Mother."

"I like to keep him grounded," she said to the group.

"And we appreciate that, Martha!"

Lanie laughed, but was busy puzzling over whether she could now tease Castle about having an Oedipus Complex, or if that condition didn't extend to desiring women with similar traits? _That has to have a name! I mean, there's a name for everything…Trichotillomania and __Acrotomophilia and__ Hybristophilia—they didn't teach her that one in med school…nope, that one came courtesy of the job and Castle after a particularly disturbing necrophilia case. _

Lanie was drawn from her mental musings by Castle pulling the next gift out of the gift bag. He held up a black t-shirt with a pistol outlined in white. From the pistol's barrel there was solid white bubble protruding with "The 12th" boldly displayed.

"Thank you," Castle said turning to the boys and Lanie. He hadn't seen this version of the precinct's tees. He thought he had 'em all.

"Turn it around," Lanie ordered.

Castle did, and discovered "CASTLE" emblazoned across the shoulders and a large number "27" centered in the back. His brow furled in confusion.

"Team shirt," Esposito explained. "For the Guns and Hoses softball tournament."

"Twenty-seven for his novels, right?" Alexis asked. The three nodded.

Castle knew about the Big Dreams Day and the carnival that the NYPD and FDNY put on in Riverside Park each year to raise money for different charity organizations. He'd never been, but he'd promised Lanie he'd help out with this one. She was the unlucky one whose name was picked from the literal hat. She was in charge of deciding on and staffing their carnival booth this year. And he knew that there was a softball tournament and that Esposito served as team captain—every year. And he took winning seriously. And Castle was definitely not going to help the team in that regard.

"Oh, ah, guys, I don't…"

Kate caught the hitch in his voice and the quick commiserating look Alexis shared with him.

"I, ah…" Rick stuttered before finding his voice. "I don't play ball." He looked almost ashamed.

"What?" Esposito exclaimed. "That's ridiculous."

"You know every Yankee," Ryan said. "All their stats. Dude, we been to how many games?"

Kate was becoming concerned over Castle's crestfallen face.

"We've never played much ball," Alexis explained. "I wasn't much in to sports. Well, tennis, but…"

"Well, Castle—"

Esposito interrupted Kate. "You've gotta play, bro. You're on the roster."

"I think maybe—" Kate was interrupted again.

"I'm telling you, man. Can't play."

Castle had wanted to play, but his childhood had been rather lonely. He was always around adults at the set, and when he was around other kids, well…he avoided other kids. He was shy and lonely as a kid—a far cry from what he was now. Though he hadn't been fat or slow or incapable of playing, he'd been husky and heard a lot of Fat Albert jokes, and was often tormented over the buck teeth he'd had as a kid. He'd been called "Rodger Rabbit" before anyone ever imagined making a Roger Rabbit movie. He learned to smile with his mouth shut—a habit that, for the most part, still stuck with him today.

When he was forced to play in school, Castle was picked last. When he wasn't, he sat in the bleachers or in the grass and doodled or made up stories. When he was alone, he'd throw the ball up and try swinging, but, eventually, that lost its appeal. It was easier to play basketball or ride his bike—those were things you could do solo. _But baseball? Yeah. He sucked at baseball._

"Castle," Kate tapped his foot hard under the table to get his attention. "We'll go to the batting cages. I'll take you. I could use the practice, too."

The boys looked at her. She never practiced before. Just the one practice session Esposito insisted on the morning of for their _very_ informal single-elimination games. There were only a few guys on the eight teams who took it as seriously as Esposito. It was supposed to be fun and if they were going to insist Castle participate, when he obviously didn't feel comfortable, she was going to make sure he had fun. He made the less-than-fantastic, the boring and the downright awful fun for her all the time. She could take the lead this time.

"Oh, ah, yeah. We'll come, too," Ryan said. "Maybe Sunday, or somethin'?"

Beckett nodded, not giving Castle a chance to agree or disagree.

"So, what is this booth you decided on and made me promise to work?" Castle asked Lanie.

"Oh, you're gonna love it!" Lanie said clapping her hands together. "Staffin' it two-at-a-time. Castle, you're with me."

"What is it, Lanie?" Kate asked, sensing her friend was putting off the answer.

"Kissing booth."

"Oh, _NO_ _way!_" Kate exclaimed.

"_WHAT?_" Ryan and Esposito near shouted.

Castle just hummed appreciation for Lanie's choice, but all he could picture was a long line of Beckett. _Wishful thinking._

"Oh, don't worry, Kev. You are exempt. Unless you want to, but Jenny already told me you're not. Only marrieds, fianced and commiteds are excused."

"Chica, if you think for one minute, I'm gonna be okay with other people stickin' their lips on you, _you_ need to be committed."

"'Fraid I'll win, Javi?" She needed people to staff this booth. There was always a contest to see which booth could raise the most money. _They were gonna win that damn contest!_

"What? No." Esposito rose to the challenge. "You honestly think you're gonna beat me?"

Kate had to give Lanie credit. She'd baited and hooked him with a tiny phrase, a little, almost imperceptible shimmy of her chest and a sultry look in three seconds flat.

"Oh, yeah. Plus, I have Castle. That line's gonna wrap around the park."

Kate shifted uncomfortably. _What the hell was Lanie thinking?_ _Hadn't they talked about _their_ men—in _very_ possessive terms?_

"Fine. I get Beckett."

"Ah, I don't think Beckett wants to do this," Castle said.

He'd watched her go from flabbergasted to adamant. He was used to women throwing themselves at him. He was detached. Not altogether un-flattered, but mostly unaffected. But the thought of men throwing themselves at her, trying to woo her, slobbering on her…that didn't leave him unaffected. He was so glad he wasn't going to have to worry about it.

"Beckett's not doing this."

_That's my girl._

"Oh, no Kate. You're doing this."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes. You are."

"No. You didn't say anything about this. I thought it was gonna be pick-a-duck or throw-a-dart."

"You have to help," Esposito pleaded. He didn't want to be stuck working the booth with O'Brien, and knowing Lanie, she'd do that to him just to win.

"Then you should have picked pick-a-duck."

"Come on, Kate. You have to help."

"No, I don't."

"Don't make me do this."

"Do what?"

"Miami?"

Kate glared at her friend. They both knew she'd already used that to blackmail her once. Using it twice—especially when she'd promised to burn the photographic evidence—was against all the rules of best friend blackmail etiquette.

It wasn't fair. One trip out of town where no one knew her wasn't supposed to come back to haunt her like this. And she'd lost _her _camera, so she didn't even have the photos of Lanie, who'd taken second place in a wet t-shirt contest. Somehow, Lanie was the only one who came home with photos of that trip—photos that may have included one newly minted Detective Beckett celebrating at a foam party, in a barely there bikini, with one "officially and permanently" employed M.E.

Lanie had already worked with the coroner for a couple of years, but it became official then. They'd celebrated their new positions and pay bumps in Miami at Lanie's insistence. The cage dancing hadn't even been _her_ idea. Lanie pushed her in with the other women before they raised the platform. And she'd delivered quite a show.

Kate stood up to walk out of the room. "I hate you. Delete them."

"There are photos?" Castle was in awe. He didn't know what it was, but he knew it must be good. Kate didn't even argue. She was just tight-jawed and glaring at Lanie.

"Make me."

"Oh, I will," Kate promised before exiting the room. She glanced around and found Karpowski waiting over by the observation room with the puppy in her arms. She took the puppy from Karpowski and thanked her, promising that she owed her one.

Kate paused outside the small conference room. Lanie was telling them about how they ended up in Miami, but thankfully not delving into the details that Castle and Esposito so obviously wanted. She turned into the room, pulling the puppy tighter to her chest. Rick was standing by the whiteboard, facing Lanie and the group. Kate took a moment to take in his profile. He could have been a professor. Sometimes that's what he reminded her of. Like her mom. Sure and comfortable.

Kate was barely aware of Lanie's voice trailing off as she stepped further into the room and all eyes turned toward her. She was suddenly feeling uncharacteristically shy and nervous, even in front of their family and friends. Castle watched everyone else redirect their attention and his eyes followed theirs. Kate had stopped a few steps into the room, seemingly unable to move any further. Her face was tucked down toward the beautiful puppy in her arms, but she had her eyes on him.

She watched Castle's eyes widen, then joy splash across his face and then questions and confusion crowded his eyes—all as his steps drew him in front of her.

She lifted her head, still fiddling with the bow on the puppy's neck. She raised her head to meet his eyes.

"Happy birthday, Rick."

He couldn't decide whether to look at her or the puppy, but he reached out to pet the puppy behind the ears, his hands meeting hers.

"A puppy? You got me a puppy?"

"Alexis helped me pick him out, and she's been staying with me, helping out with him." She was speaking quietly, just to him.

"Oh."

"He's half Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and half Golden Lab."

Castle didn't speak, and he didn't try to take the puppy. He just kept petting him, letting his fingers brush over Kate's.

"Castle?" Kate asked, noting Rick's shiny eyes. "Is it…?" _Okay? Are you?_

"He's cute," Castle answered, his voice cracking a little. He cleared his throat and blinked quickly. "Would you excuse me a moment?" He was talking to the room, but looking at the door. He brushed past Kate on his way out.

Kate hurriedly deposited the puppy on the nearest lap, much to Martha's surprise. She hadn't expected Castle's response. _An excited outburst? _Yeah. _Some heel-clicking?_ Maybe. _A bone crushing hug?_ She wouldn't have minded. She'd pictured a lot of things, but not Castle fleeing.

Kate watched Castle step into the small meeting room and shut the door behind him. That he went straight to the room where she'd so often deliver bad news and asked distraught loved ones if they knew who would have done such a thing, left her apprehensive.

Kate opened the door and stepped in without knocking.

"Castle?" She paused when he didn't respond. "I'm so sorry, Castle. I can take him back or find him a new home or maybe keep—"

"You're taking him _away?_" Castle cried at her.

Kate stopped short, mouth flapping like a fish out of water. He sounded like the little boy who was mad at his mother when they went to look at the white dog.

"Great." Castle sighed, sinking onto the couch. He was hiding his head in his hands.

"I, um…" Kate sat on the table in front on him, her knees brushing his. "Uhh." She really had no idea what was going on.

"You go me a dog."

Kate made an unintelligible sound that she hoped conveyed her agreement, then she saw Castle discreetly swipe at his eyes and felt she had a better idea of what was happening. She put a hand on his knee.

"Castle?" she asked quietly.

"I mean, you got me a _dog_." He tapped her knee with his own. This time he looked up at her and she could see the disbelief reflected in his smile and in his still shiny eyes.

"Technically, he's still a puppy."

Castle nodded.

"But, you…Is it okay? I mean…you…" _Ran._

"You all already think I'm a girl—"

"Castle—"

"Scream like a girl. Cry like a girl. _Throw_ like a girl."

"Castle! No one thinks you're a girl." She never thought she'd fall in love with someone who needed _that _kind of assurance. "And there's _nothing_ wrong with throwing like a girl."

"But there_ is_ something wrong with screaming and crying like a girl?"

"It's deplorable." Kate smirked at him.

"It's just…Alexis got me a dog once. For father's day. I didn't get to keep it, though." She noticed he didn't mention Gina.

"I heard about how you ended up with Rex."

"But I always wanted a dog, you know?"

Kate nodded. She knew.

"But I couldn't have one when I was little. We moved around too much or we were always at the set. I used to spend some time in the summers with my Aunt Lynn and Uncle Mike, and they had a dog, but when they got divorced, he went with Mike and I never saw him again."

"Castle. I don't understand. If you've always wanted a dog, why didn't you just get one? I mean, you've got the money. You had the time, the space."

"Never seemed like the right time. Alexis was little and she was scared of dogs, so I couldn't get one for her. And I don't know. It's stupid, but it never seemed like something you go out and do for yourself. I always felt like it should be something you did with someone or for someone."

"So, you're not upset?"

"Are you kidding? This is doubly good. You did this with Alexis, for me. I'm...I was just..."

"Being deplorable?"

Castle made a face at her and pulled her up with him.

"I get to keep him, right?"

"Yes, Rick. You get to keep him. Now, maybe you want to meet him? And try not to be rude this time."

They walked back in to the conference room to find everyone still there, playing with the puppy. Ryan was having better luck with him today and had a good game of tug-o-war going with a rope toy Alexis thought to bring along. As soon as Little Creature saw Kate, though, he released the rope and ran to sit on her feet. Rick scooped down to pick him up.

"I'm not sure he's gonna want to come home with us, Dad. Kate's been spoiling him."

"Have not."

"Pff." Lanie sounded. "Feeds him food from right off her plate."

"What? He likes broccoli," Kate defended. "It's not bad for him."

"And chicken," Alexis added.

"And pieces of cookie," Ryan said.

"Poured milk right from her cup into his dish," Esposito added.

"Oh, Darling, really? That's disgusting."

Castle scoffed. "Please, Mother. It's not like they were sharing a cup."

"His belly was not that roly-poly when we brought him home," Alexis assured.

"And you should see all the toys she bought him," Lanie teased. "And a bed."

"Which he doesn't use."

"Ah, you let him sleep on the couch, huh? I don't know if he'll get to sleep on the couch. Hey! Do you think we can get your dad to build him a dog house? Ooh! A castle! Can he do that?"

"Yeah. Probably."

"That's a good idea, Dad. But I think he's might prefer Kate's bed."

_Who wouldn't? _Castle wondered.

"Alexis!" _I'm gonna shoot her. Really._

Castle's eyes went wide. "Wait. He sleeps in your bed? With you?"

"No, Castle. I sleep on the floor." _Did he just sniff the dog? _

"Lucky dog!" Castle wheezed, causing everyone to laugh. _Oops._ He actually blushed a bit. He hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"So, Castle, what are you gonna name him? We've been guessing all week, but Kate won't tell us."

Castle looked up at Kate to find a self-satisfying smirk.

"Yeah, and why'd you tell Kate and not me?"

"I think it was more of a hypothetical."

"Sounded more like a declaration to me."

Castle had been adamant that she was his work wife. She'd teased him about proposing. He'd said he was just waiting for her. She'd fluttered, and glossed over it with a clever tongue.

"Did you buy him a hat?" Castle asked stepping closer to her.

"No hat." She reached out to pet Little Creature again. She was going to miss him.

"So, you think you know, huh?"

"I think I know."

They stared at each other for a moment, challenging one another.

"Guys? A name?" Ryan prompted.

"On three?" Castle asked.

Kate nodded.

The group started counting. "One…Two…Three!"

"Sherlock!"

"Rover!"

Kate hit him.

"Ouch!"

"Castle! You are such a liar!"

"What? It was _funny_!"

"He's lying!" Kate turned to their friends, pointing at him. _Oh, my God! He's turned me into a tattletale!_ "His name's Sherlock."

"Fine," Castle gave an exasperated sigh. "I guess we can call him Sherlock. Sherlock Conan Castle. But Rover is a perfectly fine name, too."

Kate rolled her eyes at him. "Come on, Castle," she said, pushing at his shoulder. "Captain hasn't seen him yet."

They walked out with Castle telling Kate how they had to find him a magnifying glass and talking about a castle doghouse with his name on it and where to put it in the loft.

"Well, that was fun!" Esposito threw out. "Fifty bucks says Beckett wins when they name their kids."

"No way. Dad'll totally win that one."

"I'm with Alexis. Richard can whine like you wouldn't believe. And he was pretty adamant when it came to this one here," Martha said nodding toward her granddaughter.

"I'm taking Kate, too," Lanie said.

"I'm going with Castle," Ryan said.

"Dude!" Esposito looked at his partner like he was a traitorous idiot.

"What? He's a word man."

**I loved writing this chapter and it came off (IMHO) even better than I had imagined. Some last minute changes there that I hadn't planned on…mostly with how the name is announced and Lanie and Esposito deciding to compete for kisses…and using Beckett and Castle to up their odds. ;o) jejeje (o: Makes me smile. Hope it does you, too!**

**Life is good, is it not? Or maybe I've just been hit with the Christmas spirit? All these Christmas fics. Started (and nearly finished) the Christmas shopping yesterday. Got the tree today. Had to rearrange furniture because…guess what? When the branches dropped…yeah, it's A LOT fatter than we thought it would be!**

**And "Cuffed" in less than 24 hours. Life really IS good! **

**p.s. Has anyone actually ever seen a kissing booth? I have not…except in movies. But, I am going to have fun with it!**


	49. Ch 49 There she glows!

**Hello all! Internet's been down, but it's fixed now. (It's also the reason I haven't responded to reviews. I'll try to get to that soon!) I'd keep apologizing for making you wait for these chapters, but life's happening, and the apologies aren't making me write any faster. You should have another chapter in quick succession, but it's not quite done yet.**

Recap: _A moody, sulky Castle finally shows up to his mini-birthday party Kate throws for him at the precinct. She presents him with the puppy, Castle get emotional because he feels like a puppy is something you do with someone or for someone—so he never got one for himself. He was touched, but messed with Kate when it came to the puppy's name, which everyone was curious about. Also, Lanie set the team up for having to work in a kissing booth. Detective Ryan gets out of it because Jenny said "Hell no!" She challenged Esposito into it and blackmailed Kate into it. Castle thought it sounded like fun until he realized Kate caved to Lanie's blackmail. Now, Kate's about to join Castle and his family for his birthday dinner—which Castle didn't invite her to because he assumed she'd want to be with Josh who was supposed to be back today. (But, as well all know…Josh came back a day early, surprising Kate, who immediately set him straight and sent him packing.)_

* * *

><p>Chapter 49 – There she glows!<p>

Standing outside Castle's loft, Kate paused a moment appreciating the squeals and laughter on the other side of the door. From the way it sounded, Castle was tickle-torturing the children. _Wait. And Alexis?_

Kate adjusted everything she was carrying in order to knock on the door. She again thanked her lucky stars that she had her own car—however old it was—to navigate Manhattan. She typically preferred her bike—especially in the summer months, but she didn't mind walking or taking the train. Cabs were convenient, but expensive. When she had cargo, though? That's when she was grateful for a car.

Kate couldn't imagine trying to take the subway carrying Little Creature's dog kennel stuffed with all the toys they'd gotten him and his doggie dishes. Plus, she had his small bag of dog food and his small doggie bed tucked under her other arm. She'd briefly considered trying to strap it all to her bike, but immediately realized it would be more of a hassle than necessary. She'd loaded up the Crown Vic and left for the loft, knowing she was already running late.

Her problem, she thought standing there waiting for the door to open, was too much car. It was not an ordinary problem for most New Yorkers. She had the cruiser when she was on call, but with the old Ford Contour her dad had insisted she take, she had to pay for an extra parking space. Her cousin's kid was already heading off to college and he wanted to buy the car from her. And she was going to let him even though her dad didn't like the idea of her being without a car if she needed it.

But, he was in the city a lot now, and, if she wanted to head to her dad's and Babi's, she could take the bus. Or maybe force Castle to go with her? She was pretty sure he wouldn't mind if she used him for his car every now and then. Besides, she could find a way to reciprocate and it would be nice to have him with her.

The loft door flew open and she found Castle's arms wrapped around her shoulders, each of them awkwardly leaned over the stuff she held in her arms. Castle grinned and pretty much ignored all that she was carrying as her drew her into the loft before she could even regain her balance. She dropped the carry case just inside the door and pushed the dog bed into his chest.

"He's a huge hit. Kids love him," Castle told her, setting the dog bed down by the carry crate and taking the dog food from her.

"Where is he?"

Kate asked, but she didn't get an answer as Castle went ahead of her toward the kitchen in response to Martha yelling his name. Kate kicked off her heels and pulled a pair of socks from her purse. She normally didn't mind walking around barefoot at the loft or in nylons, but it seemed a little too casual knowing they had guests and not knowing exactly who all would be there.

She'd just finished planting a second socked foot on the floor when a little girl appeared in front of her. The six-year old seemed taller in person—or maybe the last photos she'd seen were just a bit outdated because her cheeks had lost some of the baby fat she had before.

"Are you Miss Katie?" the gorgeous little girl asked.

KaraLynn had wide, big brown eyes that oozed kindness like her father's and were tinged with a child's inquisitiveness. She had a heart-shaped face, more like Stephanie's, with delicate features, but her skin and hair was definitely a mix of the two. Actually, her complexion was similar to Javier's, maybe a little lighter. And her hair was definitely black—but with a true red hue to it that must have come from Martha's side of the family. KaraLynn's natural tight ringlets framed her face, held back by a red headband that matched her summer dress and painted fingers and toes. She was definitely all girl—looking a bit exotic without even trying. She was destined to be a knock-out. _Poor Magi._

"I am," Kate answered, wondering again, how children always managed to leap to "Katie," but not at all bothered by it. "And, you must be KaraLynn."

"Yes, Ma'am," the girl answered, never looking away. "You're pretty."

"Uh…thank you. So are you." KaraLynn smiled a little, but continued to stare at her. She wasn't scrutinizing—there were no narrowed eyes or pursed lips. Her head wasn't even tilted. It was just a straight-on, expectant stare. _Can you have an uncomfortable silence with a six-year old? _Kate wondered.

Kate shifted slightly, before asking KaraLynn if she knew where Sherlock was.

"He's with Tyler," she answered, smiling a secret smile again.

"Is Kate here yet?" she heard Alexis call, either from Castle's office or the other side of it.

"Just got here," Castle yelled back.

"Shall I show you in?" KaraLynn asked gallantly, offering Kate her hand. Somehow, Kate felt that she'd unknowingly passed a test.

"Please do," Kate answered taking KaraLynn's outstretched hand. She tried not to show her amusement at the little girl's seriousness.

"Oh, Kate, Lovely. You're here!" Martha said, rising from the couch when Kate and KaraLynn stepped into the living room. "I'd like you to meet my sister, Lynn," she said, sweeping her hand toward her sister who was sitting beside her on the sofa. Lynn may have been Martha's younger sister, but she looked older, tired and worn. Still, she smiled and started to rise.

"Please, don't get up on my account."

Kate knew Lynn had recently wrapped up a round of radiation therapy, and that she'd already been through first a lumpectomy and then chemotherapy—from which, it appeared, she was only just nicely recovering her hair. "It's nice to meet you, Lynn."

"So, you're the infamous, Kate? I know Rick follows you around, but remind me again, what is it that you do?"

Kate nearly barked with laughter. "You don't read Rick's books do you?"

Lynn waved her hand in the air, reminding her of Martha. "Who has the time?"

Kate looked for Rick in the kitchen, hoping he wasn't missing this. She found Rick shaking his head, and everyone else—Alexis, Ashley, Karamagi and Steph raising their hands. Even Martha had her hand raised.

"Yes, well. I've never been much of a reader."

"I've told you before—they're on tape!" Rick replied with exaggerated offense. "Even Darrin's listened to them on tape."

Lynn simply rolled her eyes and Kate laughed.

"So, I can take it that you're the subject of his books?"

"Kate's a detective. Richard consults with her." Kate was pleased Martha identified her as simply a detective, not a homicide detective. She also noted the pride in Martha's voice and somehow felt that that was inclusive of her, not just her son, famous or not.

"Meaning Dad annoys her."

"I _help _her."

"'Course you do, Rick," Steph teased.

"Seems to me that she helps you," Karamagi said, walking into the living room to officially greet Kate with a kiss to the cheek. "Katherine, have you met Darrin, Stephanie's little brother?"

Kate had been aware of a man sitting separately and off to the side, intently focused on the Pandora station Rick had pulled up on the big screen. He kept brushing his knuckles roughly over his knee and then flicking his wrist to do it again.

"He probably won't talk to you or even look at you," Steph supplied, joining them in the living room, with Matteo clinging to her leg. "'Til he gets to know you better, but Karamagi always likes to try."

"Come, Stephanie, he's been doing much better since he's been at the group home."

"A savant he is not," Lynn said, like she'd said it a thousand times before. "But he's a sweetheart. Be forewarned, though, he's repetitive and blunt."

"Uncle Darrin likes soft stuff and music," KaraLynn supplied, tugging slightly on the hand she still held. "But don't touch his blanket unless he offers. And don't jump on him or turn the lights out on him."

"Darrin," Karamagi said, touching his brother-in-law carefully on the arm, "Would you like to meet someone?"

Darrin didn't react.

"Time to eat!" Alexis yelled from the kitchen.

Kate didn't know what she was supposed to do, but she didn't want to ignore Darrin, so she squatted down beside him, careful not to touch him, but so that she could see his eyes.

"Hello Darrin. I'm Kate." No reaction, but Kate hadn't expected much. She stood, while Stephanie got firm with Darrin and directed him to the table, telling him it was time to eat.

Just then, Castle walked from the kitchen to the dining room carrying a heavy dish with hot pads. "Tell him she's Nikki Heat," he called over his shoulder. Immediately, Kate found her wrist grasped with a surprising strength, as she was jerked back off the step leading to the dining room. She had heard that autism could be like having a child trapped in an adult's body, and Darrin's grip, coupled with the fact that he held out a baby blanket to her in his other hand certainly supported the statement.

Darrin still had his head down and Kate couldn't take any queues from him. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. She turned to Castle, who'd come up beside them while his aunt apologized and Steph told him he couldn't do stuff like that. They were trying to tell him that he could have hurt her. She was fine, of course—just startled, but she knew it wasn't really about her.

"Just touch it. Don't take it," Castle whispered in her ear.

She did as she was told, but Darrin's vice-like grip on her wrist didn't slacken in the least.

"It's…nice. Very soft," Kate said, but, still, he didn't let go, even as everyone was trying to convince him.

Finally, Rick approached him. "Mine, Darrin." She felt Darrin's grip loosen. "Nikki's mine," he repeated a couple of times, helping Darrin to pry his fingers loose.

When Darrin finally let go, Steph and Lynn led him to the table while Karamagi ensured she was okay. She assured him she was fine, no harm done and resisted the urge to rub her wrist. When he was convinced, Karamagi headed to the table as well.

Castle held her back when she started to walk with him.

"Sorry."

"It's fine, Castle. Nothing you could do about it."

"It's just…he responds to proprietorship," Castle explained. "He knows if he doesn't want others to play with certain things of his, he has to respect when we don't want him to touch our things."

Kate raised her eyebrows at him. Castle's eyes widened, realizing what he'd said. "N-not that you're mine!"

"Nikki is, though, isn't she?" Kate asked, challenging him to deny it before walking to join the others at the table.

She stood there for a moment, looking around at everyone seated. There were only two empty seats left, one for her and one for Castle. She was definitely missing something. Everyone at the table—except Darrin, who had his back to her anyway, and the kids looked to her expectantly, wondering what the holdup was.

"If we're all here, who's Tyler? And where's Sherlock?"

"Oh!" Alexis said excitedly, "He's the dog walker. Gram and I found him. Well, Jimmy helped."

"It's a pretty sweet deal," Castle told her. "I just have to text him if we aren't going to need him, otherwise, he'll show up twice a day, and has a backup. Lives just around the corner. Cares for several dogs in the building. Makes a living of it. Comes highly recommended."

"Plus, he's going to give us obedience lessons," Alexis said.

"Your dad, too?" Kate teased.

"Yes, actually," Castle answered. It was true. It was part of the deal. They had to learn what queues and expectations to set right along with Sherlock.

"Oh, thank God!" Kate laughed.

"Hardy har har." Castle said, urging Kate to the table with a hand to her back.

"But, seriously, Castle," Kate said turning toward him while her mind was still processing, halting their progress to the table again. Their faces were close and she lowered her voice. "He's going to have a key to the loft? Be able to come and go?"

Castle nodded once, not really able to speak in such close proximity, watching the questions roll from her lips, and anxiety build in her eyes. _Odd, _he thought, but he wasn't really hearing what she was saying.

She stepped away from him, away from the table. "What's his name?" she asked, pulling out her phone. "Castle? His name."

Castle shook his head. "Tyler Brandt."

Kate stepped back down into the living room. He heard her identify herself as "Detective Beckett" and give her badge number.

"What are you doing?"

"Just a sec. Go sit down. I'll be there in a—" She stopped speaking to him and turned back to the phone. "Yeah. I need a ten-twenty-niner on a Tyler Brandt."

_A 10-29r?_ "Wait. You're not seriously running a background check on him are you?"

Kate looked at him in annoyance and turned away, listening for whoever was on the other line.

"He's highly recommended. Building security ran his credentials already, Beckett."

Kate covered the speaker with her fingers. "He's gonna have a key," Kate half-hissed, turning back on him. "Alexis could be here. _Alone._ Or your mother. Of course, I'm running a background check." It was Alexis. A background check was nothing compared to the micro-chipping that had first flashed through her mind.

That shut Castle up, and he stood beside her, not close enough to hear what the officer on the other end was saying, but wishing he were.

"Did you get a copy of his license or anything?"

Castle nodded.

"Address?"

Castle nodded again, and confirmed for her the correct address when the database revealed more than one Tyler Brandt in the system.

Kate got off the phone, thanking the officer, but demanding the report be on her desk first thing in the morning.

By the time she was done, Castle was standing there smirking at her. He'd already begged a favor from one of the officers, but Kate didn't need to know that—and he rather liked that she was protective of his family.

"What?" Kate asked, feigning ignorance. She should have gone to his office and banned him.

"Nothing," he answered, still smirking. "Can we eat now?"

They sat down at the table, Castle on her right, KaraLynn on her left. Kate tried to ignore the looks Alexis and Ashley were giving her from across the table, but everyone else seemed to get it. They were parents, though, so a streak of overprotectiveness seemed reasonable to them. Especially to Martha, who was caught somewhere between pleased and proud.

"Did you, uh, run a background check on me?" Ashley asked nervously.

They were all looking at her, except Castle.

"Nah. She wouldn't let me," Castle answered honestly, while Kate neither confirmed nor denied. She fought the blush that wanted to swell in her cheeks, though, and ultimately, that's what gave her away to Alexis.

Alexis's eyes widened. "You did?" she said, looking at Kate.

Actually, Ashley was pretty young, so she'd run one on him and his parents the first time Alexis went away with them for a weekend to check out colleges. Castle had been so worked up about letting her go overnight with a boy. She'd done it just to assure herself that there was no reason she shouldn't be assuring him that Alexis would be fine.

Castle's head whipped around at her. "You told me 'no.'"

"I told _you_ 'no.'"

Castle frowned at her. "What happened to 'No abusing police records for your own personal agenda'?" He mocked with his chin drawn in his best schoolmarmish Detective Beckett voice.

Beckett raised a defiant eyebrow at him. She would have told him if anything came up. He knew that. He just didn't get why she'd do it for her, but not for him. _No give, sometimes,_ he thought, shaking his head.

"Nothing came up, right?" Alexis laughed at her frozen boyfriend, and tried to break her dad and the detective from their eye-lock.

"Just a B and E," Kate answered without missing a beat.

Castle's face tightened and his eyes narrowed before his head whipped back around to a very pale, sputtering Ashley. _Poor guy, _Kate thought, still watching Castle. _He's gonna get whiplash. _She turned her eyes to a very shocked Ashley. She held out for the brief moment before she finally laughed, breaking the silence.

"Kidding!" she elbowed Castle. "Geez!"

Everyone laughed—Rick included—at Kate's teasing, but without realizing it, she'd brought her hand to rest it on his left leg. She found herself squeezing his thigh, looking up at him.

"You know I wouldn't have…" She paused, leaving the rest of her thought unvoiced. _Let him anywhere near Alexis if…well..._ "Right?" A bit of her uncertainty came through in the vague question.

Castle didn't answer, but he nudged her shoulder with his own and squeezed her hand in response. He was pleased when he felt Kate relax beside him. He didn't let go. Instead, he pulled his fingers through her own and held her palm in place against his leg while he invited Karamagi to lead them in prayer.

KaraLynn took up her other hand. Her family prayed together before meals at large get togethers, as well, so wasn't unaccustomed to the practice. But Kate had never prayed with someone she loved like this. Kate brushed her thumb along his finger, over his the rough material of his jeans. As she listened to Karamagi's calming baritone thank the Lord for the meal before them, new friends and old, and request blessings for Richard on his birthday and always, the moment struck her as supremely intimate.

She felt swept up in an emotion, and the blessings bestowed upon her to be sitting _here_, with _this_ man, holding _his_ hand, counted among _his_ family. So, much had happened. She was the only one at the table who knew how close they'd come to never seeing Rick celebrate his 40th. It made his birthday and being here all the more meaningful. Kate stole her hand away from his to swipe at her eye before everyone looked up. It was just a little moisture.

She could maybe _maybe _pass it off as an irritating itch—if it were anyone but Castle. But, if she didn't, everyone would know it wasn't an itch. She hated that Castle would know what she'd done, but he didn't look at her. Castle just peeked for her hand when he felt her bring it back down and caught it up again before he didn't have the prayer as an excuse.

* * *

><p>Sherlock was back now, crashed on the floor between the counter and Kate and Castle's feet. They all stood around the island in Castle's kitchen, looking at the orange marmalade cake Alexis baked for Castle's birthday. It had a creamy ganache filling between the two layers and was drizzled with dark chocolate crisscrosses over the top and down the sides. She and Ashley were getting everything together to set the thing ablaze, making a show of counting out the candles. Alexis hadn't spared her dad a single waxed column when it came to representing his age on the cake.<p>

They were taking great pleasure in teasing him about reaching this milestone, but Castle was firing right back. Karamagi had already cleared forty a few years ago and Stephanie still had a couple years to go, but was enjoying harassing each of them with "over the hill" comments that Martha, especially, was quick to reject.

"I'm just glad we outgrew the spanking machine!" Castle said.

"Spanking machine?" Kate asked.

"Yeah."

"On our birthdays, when we were younger," Steph explained, "they used to make us line up and crawl through all the partygoer's legs to receive a birthday spankings."

"And Stephen hit hard!" Castle exclaimed, referring to Steph's twin. Funny how things worked out. He was literally a rocket scientist, working on the last shuttle launch down in Florida.

"Oh, so hard!" Steph agreed. She turned to Kate. "I'm convinced they made us do it 'cause it hurt more and they're cruel."

"Long-standing Rodger's family tradition," Martha explained, raising her glass to her lips. "One of the tamer ones."

"But you're right," Lynn said. "It was awful! Especially that pinch to grow an inch at the end."

"Won't be needing that," Castle answered humorously. He nudged Kate's foot, and watched, waiting for her to react. She pursed her lips and refused to look at him. She enjoyed flirting with him, but comments like that? _In front of his mother, daughter, aunt and near-priest friend? And the kids? _

"Ugg. Da_-ad._" Alexis grimaced at him before continuing to light the candles.

_Ugg, is right_, Castle thought. _Why does she have to be old enough to get every possible meaning to that?_

"Please tell me your dad didn't put you through that kind of torture." Kate said looking at Alexis.

Alexis shook her head. "Thankfully that family tradition died."

Castle put an arm around her shoulder and jostled her. "But I'd be happy to revive it for _your _birthday."

With his cake all aglow and the lights dimmed down low, the desire to flirt with him was too overwhelming. "Does that mean you don't want me to spank you now, Castle?" Kate taunted.

"Maybe just a pinch," he answered while she snaked her hand around his back and pinched his side.

Castle jumped and she withdrew her hand, but kept her arm around his back as Martha started the first notes of the "Happy Birthday" song.

Castle left his arm draped over Kate's shoulders, enjoying the feel of her hand pressed between his shoulder blades. He couldn't believe his luck. This day had turned out better than he imagined. He had his daughter, his family all around him. His favorite detective—hell, his favorite woman period—was tucked into his side. He kept expecting her to be looking at her watch or making some excuse to leave. _Didn't she need to meet Josh? Maybe they'd had a fight? Maybe they never recovered from their previous fight?_ Even though he knew it had to do with him, he couldn't help but hope that they were through.

Kate had been staring wondering what Castle would wish for when she felt Castle's eyes on her. She looked up at him, still singing, wondering why he wasn't paying attention. He had a look of awe and surprise on his face. Kate looked away quickly and realized everyone, except Darrin and Matteo, was staring at her. She blushed and quickly adjusted her voice. Sometimes she forgot to not _actually_ sing. It didn't make any difference, they were already at the end of the short song.

"Okay, Dad. Make a wish."

"You're sparing him the monkey verse?" Kate asked.

"Monos!" Matteo yelled, while Rick blew out the candles in one great exaggerated huff.

"Yup, tomorrow, Matty," KaraLynn said.

"Tomorrow, we're hitting the museum, the zoo and the American Girl Café," Castle explained to Kate.

"Sounds like a Castle excursion."

"He's very excited about the monkeys," KaraLynn said, addressing Kate. "I want to see a giraffe. And Lexi has an American Girl doll, too. She's going to bring hers, too."

"It sounds like fun. What's your doll's name?"

"I have two. They're twins like Mama and Uncle Stephen."

"I had the Molly doll when I was little," Kate told the little girl.

"You did?" a wide-eyed KaraLynn asked.

"Yep. She'd be worth so much now if I'd taken better care of her, but I played with her too much."

"Mama had a Samantha doll, but she broke her."

"If we'd known then," Steph said.

"Yeah, but my Grandma would have been so disappointed if I hadn't liked her. I hated Barbies—probably due to my mother's influence—and she spent so much time picking that doll out. Made me tons of outfits for her—which made it more fun."

Rick handed them each a plate with cake and ice cream. He'd been enjoying listening to them reminisce and couldn't help but picture a little Katie Beckett playing with her dolls. No surprise she didn't like Barbies like Alexis had.

"Hope you've got a plan in there for naps, Uncle Ricky, 'cause don't forget you promised to keep them tomorrow night, too."

"Who needs naps? We're gonna have fun, right guys?" Uncle Ricky said, sharing a high five with each of the kids.

Castle looked as excited as each of the kids. Kate kind of wished she were going with them. Seeing it all through the kids' eyes—through Rick's would be like seeing it anew. Instead, she realized she wouldn't see Castle until his boat party on Saturday, so now, even though she was right beside him eating cake and ice cream, Saturday seemed like a long time away.

* * *

><p>By the time Kate had declined Martha's third offer for wine after dinner—the fact that she was on call not really sinking in, Karamagi and Steph were rousing the kids to get them ready for bed—which meant peeling KaraLynn from her side and Matty from her lap. Matty had started the night with his attention shifting from person to person to the toys scattered on the floor, sneaking up behind Kate's chair to touch her hair. He was jabbering at anyone who'd listen, but he'd eventually settled sleepily onto Kate's lap, wrapping her hair around and around his thankfully not sticky hands.<p>

KaraLynn had simply sat down beside her with a book in hand to start with. Probably because she was holding Sherlock. Kate had asked the little girl if she wanted her to read the book to her, but the little girl had simply said, "No, thanks. I can read it." She got down a couple of times to pick a different book, but always ended up right back at her side, even after Rick had stolen the puppy from her. In her other books, she'd sometimes point to words she couldn't get right, but otherwise she was pretty quiet, just letting the adults talk around her.

Kate figured it was time to say goodnight. She took another look across the room at Castle, with Sherlock cuddled in his lap. That look on his face that he'd had since he first thought the puppy was his and that he'd recovered completely before they left the precinct—that's what she had been going for. _Totally worth it._

Castle insisted on walking her out. He used taking Sherlock out as an excuse to walk her all the way out to her car, not just to the door.

At her car, Kate leaned against the door. Her head tilted, she considered him and graced him with one of those sweet smiles that he loved. _Who was he kidding? _He loved them all. This was the short grin—the one that pressed dimples three layers deep into her cheeks.

"Kate." _How could he thank her?_ "Thank you so much. For him. I've just…thank you."

"I'm glad you like him, Castle. You had me worried at first. But…I don't know. He just seemed perfect for you." _Plus he has your eyes. _She reached out to pet the puppy that Castle still held in his arms.

"Yeah, we're gonna get along just fine. He's the best."

"I'm actually going to miss him," Kate said bending down to kiss the puppy's head.

_No bed warmer? Is Motorcycle Boy waiting for you?_

Kate shook her head. "All right, Little Creature. Be good." She held the puppy's chin. "No messes," she told him seriously.

Castle laughed. "Fingers crossed."

"He likes the rope toy a lot." _God, he knows this. I'm stalling. It's so obvious._ "It's still in the dog cage."

"Yeah…I noticed he didn't care for the squeak toy too much."

Their small talk stalled. Words they wanted to find wouldn't come. Kate nodded to the car.

"Happy Birthday, Castle. I hope you wish comes true."

"It will," he said without hesitation. Castle leaned down slightly and kissed her cheek, warmer and lingering longer than his normal greeting for her. "Goodnight, Kate. And thank you."

"'Night, Castle. See you Saturday."

* * *

><p><strong>The one Christmas fic I was expecting to see never showed up! I would have loved a Christmas fic where Beckett is fantastically cheery—just like she always is and Castle shows up with a black treedecor saying "You don't have to fake it with me." Or takes her to some bum's fire barrel to burn Christmas-y goodness or dresses up the punching bag like Santa and holds it for her while she beats the sh** out of it. That would have amused me, but I didn't get around to it. Maybe next year?**

**Hope you all enjoyed a Happy Chanukah, Happy Christmas, and for those embarking on Kwanzaa, Happy that, too!**


	50. Ch 50 Memorymaking moments

**Two updates in one week! That hasn't happened in a while! (And don't let it get your expectations up there too high!)**

Re-cap: _Kate spent the night of Castle's birthday with him and his family at his loft. She went home not expecting to see him again until his boat party._

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><p>Chapter 50 – Memory-making moments<p>

_Come play with us._ That was the caption to the adorable photo Kate just received—her fifth of the day. They'd obviously made it back to the loft okay because KaraLynn and Matteo were sitting in one of the chairs in Rick's office. Matteo was sporting a hat that looked very much like Curious George's head and KaraLynn had on some dazzling light blue shades and was holding what looked to be a star-stopped fairy wand with tinsel and ribbons dangling around her hand.

Kate smiled. Again. She didn't text back and, when six o'clock finally rolled around, she didn't go home to change. Her Friday night was looking a whole light brighter.

* * *

><p>Kate stepped into the loft on hearing Castle call "Come in!" She was first struck by the silence. How could two and a half children be so quiet? Maybe their day out had worn them out? Then she looked down and saw the maze of dominoes weaved all around the floor. From down in the living room to up and over and through the first step on the stairs, V-ing around the kitchen table, zig-zagging behind the couch—homemade bridges and a dominoes tower included, her eyes followed the path they'd created until they landed on the man in the living room.<p>

Rick was spread out flat on his stomach, propped on his elbows with Matteo spread out in similar fashion along his back. KaraLynn was sitting beside them placing another black track that looked like it went to a race car set on the cushy carpet so that their dominos would stand up on end.

Kate carefully stepped over two rows of dominoes to join them in the living room.

"Wow. I've never actually seen anyone make a dominoes..." _What was it anyway?_ "Train? before." _How many dominoes did he have? _

Kate was having a hard time believing Castle had the patience for such a task and briefly wondered where Alexis was. _Surely, she must have been involved? But, to do this with two kids?_ And she'd seen how Matteo's attention flitted from one person, one project, one toy to another last night. _And wasn't there a puppy running around somewhere?_

"How many…how'd you?" _Wow. _She shouldn't have been so surprised. The man literally spent hundreds of hours stringing words together that in turn kept her entertained and entranced for hours. So she shouldn't have been. But this is what he constantly did to her.

Castle gave her a huge grin, as each of the kids started chattering about what they were building. Matty was excited because he was going to get to knock it down. Kate looked around again and stepped carefully over to the couch, where she kneeled to look behind the couch again.

"This is amazing!"

"We started it this morning when Alexis and their dad were still here to help."

"I can't believe you were able to do this with Sherlock in the house and with these guys."

"Sherlock was easy at first. All the intricate stuff was behind the couch and in the dining room, and his toys were out here. Plus, Steph and Mother were here for most of the day. We spent so long here doing this we only made it to the zoo. Then, when we got home, Alexis and Ashley met up here. Took Sherlock to the park. They should be back soon, then Matty gets to set this thing rolling! Right, Big Guy?"

Matty nodded enthusiastically. Kate imagined that was his motivation for letting the others build the maze without interference.

"You hungry?" Castle asked. Kate shook her head no.

"There's a plate of homemade mac-n-cheese in the mike," he said, trying to entice her. He thought he'd won when she headed for the kitchen, but she just dug in the cupboard for Press-N-Seal wrap, covered the plate and popped it in the refrigerator.

He shook his head at her. _How could she not be hungry?_ He was willing to bet she hadn't eaten much today. Maybe she'd go for it later or he'd send it home with her.

They weren't yet out of dominoes—Castle still had half a large box sitting by the chair, but Kate proved to be enough of a distraction that neither of the kids nor Castle cared to keep adding to the dominoes stack. Instead, Castle found the piece he'd set aside…a little handmade "START" banner hung between glued-together dominos pillars. He placed that over the first domino, in the last spot they'd been arranging them, which surprised Kate.

Kate expected him to place the start line closer to where they'd built all the more intricate and exciting loops and bridges and tunnels. She was struck by how willing this man was to let the anticipation build. She imagined it carrying over into his lovemaking, a sudden image of dominoes lined up along the flat of her belly and Rick's blue eyes hovering over her before blowing them down left her feeling hot and inappropriate. Especially sitting there conversing with a fairy, a boy and his monkey.

_Since when did she play games in bed?_ Not since she was younger and experimenting. Castle would be patient and playful—two things that didn't typically appeal to her. She was more of the fast and furious type. She didn't linger over sweet nothings or rely on her partner for fulfillment. She flushed, cursing Castle's dominoes—combined with his childlike exuberance and paradoxical patience—that had her thinking like this.

_And, God, she'd love to turn the tables on him._ She'd never met a man she enjoyed playing with as much. _But Richard Castle?_ Yes, she'd play games with him. All sorts of games. The anticipation was building, and she wasn't sure how much longer she should or could hold out.

Castle looked over at Kate, relaxed on his couch holding Matty's new stuffed monkey in her lap while Matty drove a car from her ankle to her knee, and then half-way up her thigh. _Ah, so innocent._ She was clearly lost in thought, but as his gaze traveled up to her charcoal top, with the braid-style collar, he paused briefly at her breasts. _Is she cold? Can't be. She's wearing a light sweater._ His eyes traveled higher to her neck and cheeks. Her hair was partially blocking her face, but her cheeks were definitely tinted. Kate glanced at him then, paling everywhere but on her cheeks when she saw the look on his face.

_Holy hell! Kate Beckett was turned on! _Whatever bawdy thoughts were running through her head, he wanted to know! And he wanted to make it happen again! Preferably when he was closer to her and when there were no kids in the room.

The door opened, then, and Sherlock scrambled in still attached to his leash.

"Yay! Lexi's here!" KaraLynn exclaimed. Matty jumped from the couch and Castle caught him before he could damage the dominoes maze, still looking at Kate. She was definitely avoiding eye contact.

Alexis and Ashley stuck around just long enough to watch Matty flick the first domino into motion by driving his car into it. Alexis filmed the whole thing so they could send it off to Karamagi and Steph. Kate watched from her spot on the couch, while Rick flew and excited KaraLynn over the whole display for an aerial view. All that work, and the whole exhibition lasted only a minute. Still, it was very cool.

Now, they were busy re-packing all the dominoes into the boxes Castle had saved and then those boxes into other boxes. He was very particular about how they were arranged, and spent a good two minutes just watching her to make sure she was doing it right. She almost told him to do it himself, but the kids had been promised a movie and popcorn before bed and that wasn't happening until all the toys were cleaned up.

Kate paused arranging the dominoes in her latest box when two chubby legs danced in front of her. She looked up to see Matteo holding himself with a pained expression on his face.

"I hafta go potty!"

"Okay, buddy. Hold on." Kate glanced toward the bathroom, but she didn't know the protocol with someone else's kid. It wasn't like Lanie's niece or her cousins' kids who were used to her and vice versa. She knew them, their parents' parenting styles—even the reward systems. Plus, of the four kids she had experience with, they were all girls, except one. _Did he sit or stand?_

"Castle! Matty's gotta go potty!"

"Then take him potty!" Rick called from behind the couch.

He waited a moment, but no one passed his line of sight headed toward the bathroom. _Did they go to his bathroom?_

"I gotta go bad."

Kate stood up. "He's gotta go _now!_"

Rick heard the urgency in her voice and his head shot up from behind the couch like a gopher. He could see they weren't moving. Well, Kate wasn't moving. Matteo was doing the potty dance with a death grip on his junk.

"Go, Matty! Go! Hurry!" he said, waving toward the bathroom and clambering to his feet all at the same time.

They raced there together. A few moments later, Kate heard Castle reassuring Matteo that "It was okay" and that "accidents happen." He came out carrying a bare-bottomed boy and Matty's wet shorts. Matty was crying.

"We didn't make it."

Kate grimaced. "Is he okay?"

Rick nodded. "Uncle Ricky's fault, big guy. We'll make it next time." He stopped in the living room. "KaraLynn? Want to take a bubble bath with brother?" The girl was on her feet in no time.

"You okay with them for a minute while I get things ready? He shouldn't have to go potty or anything."

Kate assailed him with one of her more derisive glares.

"Maybe I'll just take him with me. Safer that way."

He came back through while she was still picking up dominoes, but didn't say anything. He was just staring at her, shaking his head. _Ugg_, she thought, _I should have just taken Matty to the bathroom_! Castle was having way too much fun with this.

Finally, his silence provoked her enough. "What, Castle?"

He answered her with a roguish smile.

"The great Kate Beckett. Takes down bad guys twice her size but can't take a three year old potty."

The gibe, meant in good fun, irritated Kate more than it should have. She'd caused Matteo unnecessary distress all because of her second guessing. And she didn't like being indecisive. She didn't like hesitating. She liked control and answers. She bit her lip, irritation, guilt, embarrassment all battling for prominence.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I should have…but he doesn't know me that well."

Castle could see she felt bad, and that it wasn't about him picking on her. She genuinely felt like she'd let Matteo down. "No. I know. I get it."

"I just…I didn't know if it was okay. I'm sorry. Is he okay?"

"Hey. Stop apologizing. I'm just razzing you, I swear. Didn't think you were that upset about it."

"But I made him cry."

"Third time today that we didn't make it."

"Really?"

"Really. You can check the dryer if you want."

"Maybe you should just tell me the potty rules. 'Cause honestly, I've done this before, but it's been different with every kid."

"So, you don't mind?"

Kate shook her head.

"Okay. Rule number one with Matteo—he always waits too long. If he's kind enough to tell you he's got to go, make a mad dash for the bathroom. Two, he's got a stool in there, so he can reach. If we're not here, he can sit to do either. Three, if he poops, he definitely needs help wiping. Fourth and final? He gets a sticker for a job well done."

Kate simply nodded at his instructions.

"You mind going in with them? I don't want to leave them alone, but I thought I'd get their jammies now."

Kate did as he requested, marveling again at his room and bathroom. The kids spent more time in the bathtub than she thought they would. Castle, expert bubble-maker that he was, had somehow managed to color the bubbles into blues, pinks, greens and purples. Which as it turned out, was way more fun than plain white bubbles—at least according to KaraLynn.

When they finally pulled the raisinettes from the bathtub, Kate found herself kneeling on the floor helping Matteo into his Pull-up, then jammies. Rick was sitting on the toilet, weaving KaraLynn's curly locks into short, braided pigtails. She looked up at him and their eyes locked.

It was so banal. Helping children get ready for bed. Something done every day, all across the world. And yet, she felt like she was discovering something pristine and new and absolutely unknown to anyone else—past or present. Unknown to everyone but her…and him. Like it was theirs to know and share, and theirs alone.

_What was it about this man's bathroom that prevented her emotional inhibitors from functioning properly?_

* * *

><p>It was late, but Rick had promised them a movie and popcorn. Rather than renege on his promise, he tricked them into a couple of Pixar shorts: Jack-Jack Attack and Day and Night—neither of which Kate had seen. But KaraLynn was not satisfied.<p>

"But it's late, Sweetie. Way past bed time."

"How about a story then?"

"It's not Sunday." They Skyped on Sunday nights.

"But it will be better 'cause we're here."

"Oh, I don't know." But now he was just teasing her. "I don't think you can stay awake for a story. You fell asleep last time."

"But it was really long. And it was Matty's." She turned to Kate. "Dinosaurs," she said, obviously dismayed.

Kate wrinkled her nose sympathetically. The way KaraLynn bobbed her head, Kate could tell she'd earned points for sharing the girl's non-affinity for the large, long-distinct reptiles.

"And it's my turn to pick."

"Oh, your turn? When do I get a turn?"

"You don't get a turn, Silly. You get to make them up."

"Ah." Rick eyed the three of them, Matteo curled into Kate's chest, struggling to keep his eyes open and KaraLynn sitting between them, obviously tired but not wanting to miss anything. "What do you think, Kate? Would you like to hear a story?"

"I'm always game for a Rick Castle original."

"Really? I'll remember that next time—"

"Story, Castle. No aliens. Or dinosaurs."

"Sorry, but it's KaraLynn's pick." He pulled the little girl onto his lap. "Come on, Cutie. What am I making up tonight?"

"I want to hear the one about Princess Kate."

Castle grinned. _Perfect. _It was one of his favorites that he'd made up for the kids. Kate narrowed her eyes at him. He ignored her, though, and settled KaraLynn more comfortably in his arms.

"_Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Kate. But Princess Kate wasn't any ordinary princess. No. She was a warrior princess._"

"Who hated to be called 'Princess,' KaraLynn chimed in.

_At least Castle got that part right_, Kate thought.

"That's right," Rick answered.

"_Now Princess Kate was not like other princesses of the time. Though she was by far the prettiest of all the princesses. She was rich and always well-dressed, but she didn't care about those things. Of course, she let her father buy her pretty things—if only because it made him feel better. She let the maid servants fit her in fine dresses and warm her linens before she slid into bed at night. But she didn't care about these things. _

_It was hard to care about these little things—or the big things, for that matter—for poor Princess Kate suffered a fate no other in the kingdom shared. Her memory maker had been stolen. It was taken from her by an evil shaman who wreaked havoc on their planted hills and sent spirits to terrify to the townspeople. He was the worst kind of evil, taking pleasure in causing others pain. She'd led their able knights on numerous crusades to capture the shaman, but he, with his black magic, was always one step ahead. _

_Finally, they'd caught up to him. Princess Kate seized his staff and cast a spell on him of her own that another, kind, but less powerful magic man had shared with her. The evil shaman was imprisoned and given a speedy—but fair—trial. Still, the townsmen found him guilty, and her father, the King, sentenced the evil shaman to death. _

_Without her father knowing, the evil shaman cast a spell with his last words._

_If death and I shall meet this day, _

_My captor's memories take away,_

_No more memories shall she make, _

_Guard them, dragon, after my wake._

_The fair princess, she shall cry, _

_Seeking always the day you die._

_So now, the princess wandered the immaculate castle, planning ways to find and slay the dragon. Because without her memory maker, she was stuck in the past. She couldn't make new memories—and she couldn't care about all the things her father and everyone else who adored her would do for her—except in the moment, because she'd forget their kindnesses in the very next. _

_The princess' greatest desire was to be able to make memories with her friends and not see disappointment flash in her father's eyes or her friends' eyes when they mentioned something she couldn't recall. So, she searched, and she hunted the dragon. _

_For years she sought the dragon. The townspeople would return from their treks to far-off lands, always inquiring on her behalf and bringing her each tidbit they learned. Knights from other kingdoms would call on the fair princess with news of the dragon's whereabouts and promises to assist. A prince or two rode under the iron portcullis offering their cavalries and infantrymen in hopes of gaining the fair maiden's hand. Of course, she declined. How could she knowingly welcome anyone to share in her despair?_

_And each time she thought she had enough, she'd gather her men and they'd go after the dragon. Inevitably, she'd come home empty-handed and spend days wandering from the stables to the keep. It was hardest when the reconnaissance proved correct and she'd get a glimpse of him—maybe even a few jabs from her sword. But the dragon would always flee. He'd rise up on his wings and breathe fire down on them. The truth was, she didn't know how to fight him and win. And the idea of sacrificing more of her men—well, it broke her heart. _

_She couldn't do it anymore. The Princess decided she would do as her father wished and take her place among their people—even if it meant she'd never make another memory. She was passing through the refectory, on her way to her father's chamber to tell him of her decision, when a maidservant stopped her. _

'_Your father, the king. He summons for you,' she said with great urgency and great excitement. _

'_Where is he, Mathilda?'_

'_In the Great Hall, m'lady,' she answered. 'With a handsome Nobleman.'_

_Princess Kate raced through to the Great Hall and joined her father and the man he was with. Many had joined them, excited to see what this newcomer refused to share with anyone but the princess. _

'_Katie, my darling,' her father beckoned her to the chair beside him. But the princess refused. She stood steadfastly before the man who'd knelt down before her. She was inexplicably drawn to him. _

'_This man comes bearing a gift for you,' she heard her father say. But she could feel it. He held something important. She wished only that he would speak and reveal his reason for being there. _

'_Speak, Sir. I beg of you. What is your reason? Why do you kneel before me?'_

'_My lady, forgive me. I did not know that he was yours to slay. I only protected my flock.' _

_The Nobleman raised a wooden box above his head in offering to the Princess. And she knew. She knew what this was. She lifted the lid and breathed in. For though the box appeared empty to the Nobleman, it held something only she could grasp and retain. _

_She pulled the Nobleman to his feet and smiled a smile at him that was so brilliant the sunlight shining in seemed to dim in comparison. _

'_How did you…?'_

'_I lured him with a tainted goat. Then tracked him and cut his throat.'_

'_Just you?' _

'_I thought it better not to announce myself.'_

'_But as he lay dying words teemed around us though we were quite alone. 'To the princess her memory maker return.' That's it. Over and over. At first, I knew not what the words meant, but then I recalled a fairy tale about a princess searching for a dragon to slay in order to break an evil spell.'_

'_It _is_ broken. I can tell. I can feel it.' The princess couldn't stop smiling. _

'_Are you sure daughter?' _

'_How shall I prove it?'_

'_Have you any new memories?' the King asked. _

'_Not yet,' she answered, as she pulled the Nobleman to her and kissed him. She closed her eyes and could still recall the blue of his. Finally, amid cheers, she pulled away from the Nobleman who never expected such a fine reward from the beautiful princess._

'_But this?' she said. 'This I shall never forget!'_

"_Nor shall I!" the Nobleman answered. _

_And they lived happily ever after. And made a million, gazillion new memories. The end."_

"Thus, ends the story of Princess Kate. And, were KaraLynn still awake, she'd remind us—well, me—

that there's no such thing as a gazillion."

With her head lolled back on the couch, Kate turned to smile at him.

"It's a nice story, Castle. But, just one thing missing."

Castle gave her a quizzical look. "What's that?"

"What, pray tell, was this nobleman's name?"

"Why Reginald, of course."

Kate chortled. "Oh, of course."

"Shh! They're both out!"

Kate tucked her chin to glance down at Matteo who was resting heavily on her chest. He was definitely out. With his head scrunched back on his neck, he was even drooling a little.

"Let me take KaraLynn up, and I'll come back for him."

"No. I've got him."

Rick waited for her to hitch Matteo higher onto her shoulder and then led the way to the guest room.

"If they're in here—"

"I'm crashing on the couch. I thought Steph would be more comfortable not climbing stairs and with a bathroom close by. She's _so _pregnant."

"Yeah, she is. Looks uncomfortable."

Kate wasn't exactly sure how to accomplish laying the child down without rousing him, so she waited for Rick to take him from her arms. _Bad plan. _Castle managed to graze the sides of each of her breasts—and make it look unavoidable. But she was sure he paused and pressed in on her before lifting Matteo away. Even if he hadn't—even if she was just imagining things—her body reacted as though he had. She excused herself to the bathroom.

Rick was still smirking as he made his way back downstairs. _Serves her right for being so damn sexy._ He put a movie in a plopped down, low on the couch. He pulled the picture Ashley had given him for his birthday from the side table. Ashley had silhouetted the photo he had of himself and Alexis, made it smaller and put it at the bottom left of the frame. That was overlaid on a full-color photo, that he'd cropped himself and one of their guides out of so, that it looked like it was just the two of them standing side-by-side on the cliff where they had picnicked. They were standing closer together, but he was looking down at his daughter while she looked up at him—just like they had years ago in smaller photo.

Ashley was really quite talented, and having the kids here made him feel all nostalgic. _They grow too fast._

Kate slid onto the cushion right next to him—closer than he imagined she would. She let a sleepy Sherlock drop from her arms to her lap. He thought she'd be bidding him goodnight, especially after that stunt he'd pulled. Instead, she tapped the silhouetted portion of the picture.

"I have one just like that of my dad and me. Mom took it my first day of Kindergarten."

Castle hummed. "You were lucky, then." _Lucky. Then. Were._ He didn't mean it how it sounded. "One of Alexis' school friend's moms took this. At the park. Gave it to me a few months later. I didn't even know she'd taken it."

"I know what you meant, Castle." She thought a moment before leaning into him, nudging him slightly. "I _was _lucky. Blessed."

Castle nodded, but was obviously pensive. She leaned back and rested her head on his shoulder, looking at the picture with him. She petted Sherlock absentmindedly. "And I _am_. Again," she said quietly.

Castle tapped her head with his.

"It must have been hard…not having anyone around to take pictures. I mean, I know you have a lot of Alexis…but of the two of you?"

"Eh, we did alright. I mean I was luckier than most. I could be there for her, for her things at school. Flexible schedule. And for the most part, I dictated my own travel schedule and she could go with me. It was better than…"

"Growing up?"

Castle shrugged. "That was fine, too."

Kate squeezed his arm. "Even not having…"

"Don't go pitying me. I mean, yeah, I think about it, but less so as I've gotten older. And at least I wasn't shuffled around between divorced parents that couldn't get along, feeling like _neither_ wanted me like some of my friends were."

"I guess. I just wish you hadn't missed out. Hadn't had nannies or been shipped off to school. That you had a dad who wanted to teach you to play ball and take you to ballgames, like I did. He should have had a son."

"I'm not sure whether my father would or wouldn't have wanted to do those things."

Kate turned her head into him understandingly. He didn't know if his father even knew about him. He didn't know anything about whoever had donated to his DNA, so it was entirely plausible that this donor—if his mother even knew who he was—didn't even know he existed.

"Really," Castle assured her. "I've got nothing to complain about. Can't blame her, you know? If she'd put her dreams on hold, she'd have resented me. And she was already on her own, so she had to make a living somehow. Besides, it paid off. Sent me to all the best private schools. And she always encouraged me to cultivate my imagination—even when her husbands or boyfriends didn't like it."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't bring it up. I just…I wish you'd been blessed the same way I was. You deserved that, too. And I think you'd have appreciated it more than…maybe anyone else I know."

"You only think that now because I didn't have it then. Besides, I _am_ blessed. Who do you know who's more blessed than me? I've got my mother, Alexis. Great friends. A job I love—getting to annoy the hell out of you. I don't struggle to live in the world's most expensive city. And, on top of all that, my best friend is sitting beside me worrying that I'm not happy enough."

Kate's heart swelled. She knew he cared for her, but he'd never actually called her his best friend before. And even Lanie, the woman she called her best friend, understood that it was really Rick who held that honor and knew her better than anyone.

"How many times was she married?"

_Just drop it already, Kate._ But she couldn't help it. She wanted to know more about him, how he felt. She almost groaned at herself. _So typically female. When did I become that 'Let's talk about our feelings!'_ _girl? Maybe I should gather up all my girlfriends and stand in the corner giggling at him, while I'm at it?_

"Just twice. And, you know? Having me didn't help. And I didn't make it any easier on her—especially that second time."

"I'm sure it was hard on her being a single mother, but no harder on her than you."

"Maybe in some ways. But it was different 40 years ago than twenty. And she was never married to my father. People just assumed she was…well, anyway. I definitely had it easier. Most people assumed I was a widower or just out for the day with my daughter. And for the most part, people—especially women, for whatever reason—are kinder to a single father than a single mother." _Or, they just want to snag a rich, responsible man._

"Or they just wanted to get in your pants," Kate teased.

"Maybe. But even little things."

"Like?"

"Like taking Alexis to the bathroom. When she was really little, it didn't matter. But then when she got a little older, I didn't want her in there with other men. It always seemed like there was a mom or a kind grandmother around to help her out. I hated it, but imagine what my mom went through. Would you want to send your son into a nasty bathroom alone? 'Cause men don't volunteer to help—and if they did, there's no way in hell you'd let your son go in with him."

"Did that ever happen?"

"No. Well…not that I recall."

The two sat there for a while, quietly contemplating. Sherlock had stretched out between their laps and Kate was still leaned into Rick's side. _I should go_, she thought.

"So…anything spectacular on your DVR?"

"Probably not. You're staying?"

"Unless you want your bed back?"

He smiled at her, with wiggling brows. "I like my bed like this. I put in _The Walking Dead_."

Alexis had given him Season 1 for his birthday and a few other things so he wouldn't get suspicious about his real present.

"Zombies, Castle?"

"If you're game."

"Okay, I'll bite."

"So long as you're not a walker."

* * *

><p><strong>Don't be mad at me if I told you in a review response that the boat was going to be the next chapter! I really thought it was going to be. But…you know…I couldn't resist these sweet moments. And I promise, next chapter?<strong> **Party on boat and more sweet moments…**_before I make you all really want to kill me_.** [You all make it really hard to stick to my plan, but I'm gonna do it. I'm going to stick to my plan. I'm going to stick to my plan. And yes, I do repeat that to myself on a daily basis.] I promise you'll like it in the end. Especially those of you who…well, nevermind. I don't want to give too much away. **

**Hope you liked this installment. Next chapter in 2012. Happy final days of 2011. Hope you all had a better year than I did. It started off really bad, but it's ending on a good note!**


	51. Ch 51 I'm on a Boat!

**For starters, my husband insisted I name this chapter "I'm on a Boat!" when I told him what it's about. Here's why: [http: / www.] **Youtube .com/ watch?v=avaSdC0QOUM **Apparently, they also do "I Just Had Sex" and "Jizz in my Pants." (not appropriate for younger /sensitive audiences)**

**Second, I'm sorry this has taken so long. The reason is at the end. I appreciate your kind thoughts and prayers, but also, I like comments on the story…so, you know, if you want to mention my kid, that's okay…but story? **

**It's been so long I'm not going to do a real re-cap. That little back button might be useful. Here's what you need to know for the boat. Haven't seen Amanda in a while…she's Rick's event planner, helping out with the Johanna Beckett Jamboree as well. At Rick's surprise party, there was a story about Lanie and Kate in Miami and we learned there's photographic evidence. Hope you're not too disappointed, but this chapter doesn't touch much on Kate and Rick together…more scene setting. Alexis' gift to him will be in the next chapter…plus the more intimate moments between Kate and Rick that I honestly thought would be in this chapter.**

**Want a visual for the boat? It's based on this: [http: / www.] **lexingtonclassiccruises .com/

* * *

><p>Chapter 51 – I'm on a Boat!<p>

Kate and Madison were running late, so they took a cab to the marina. They arrived just as the last of Castle's guests were emerging from the shuttle he'd arranged for them. He insisted that his guests not be inconvenienced. Castle's goal for the evening was to ensure that everyone had a good time. It may have been his birthday—but this was also a social event.

As Castle stood there greeting his guests, answering their questions, introducing them to the ship's captain and reminding them that there was an open bar, he couldn't help but think back on past birthdays.

This one was different, though. This one had the guys from the 12th. He felt less like he had to one-up or show-off or impress than he had in years. The group celebrating with him tonight had never been more real. Sure, he normally had a few people he was close to each party, but never so many that he respected. Never so many that he wanted to show a good time and that he knew didn't normally enjoy luxuries like a yacht or a cruise on the Hudson. It was a definitely a mixed crowd tonight. He was sure some of the guests from years past would be shocked when learned they were partying with some of New York's finest…but, hell, maybe they'd learn something themselves and show a little appreciation for the people keeping their streets safe.

Castle didn't celebrate big all that often—only on the fives. Thirty-five had been more for the loud crowd. He'd rented out a club and opened it up to everyone he knew and didn't know. Alexis wasn't pleased with his choice because she didn't get to go. And Martha worried he was having an early midlife crisis, but enjoyed the party anyway. Thirty—when Karamagi and Steph met—had been a formal dinner and a private concert from Rockapella at the Bowery.

His date had been a seven-year old Alexis. Her hair had been redder then and she'd had a splash of freckles over her nose and cheeks like a summer in the Hamptons always produced. She was so excited to be wearing her fancy dress and new shoes, with the little heel. He'd given her a wrist corsage which she'd promptly put in her new, gleaming white purse so that it would have something in it. He smiled at the memory of her opening up her little purse to show their guests he'd given her flowers.

He glanced up, looking for his daughter. He found her leaning onto the teak railing talking to her date. _Ashley. _Ten years ago, he'd been her date. He'd had a friend take her to the salon to get her hair done. It had been curled and piled and pinned on her head, stiff with too much hair spray—something that he hadn't liked undoing. But she'd been thrilled with the little white rosebuds they poked into her hair. Still had them saved in her desk drawer, even.

Tonight, was different. From behind, you wouldn't know she was still on the cusp of womanhood. You'd just think she was a petite, small-framed woman. But Castle suspected she was still filling out. She'd get taller. Her shoulders would broaden some, like Kate's. And she wouldn't have a huge…, but when she was older, there'd be more distinction between her waist and…like Kate. Her hair, though. Somewhere along the way, she'd picked up a confident elegance…like Kate. Her hair hung loose and straight below her shoulders, in sharp contrast to the black of her sleeveless dress. She seemed older, wiser, more womanly—especially tonight—and more put together than her years should allow.

Kate took in the long, sleek-looking boat. Well…Castle kept saying "boat party," but this wasn't just a boat. Castle didn't own it—much to her and Lanie's amusement when they'd teased him about _not_ owning a boat. But, of course, he had a guy everywhere. And one of his guys just happened to be the captain of the Lexington—a yacht. _Or cruise ship._

She wasn't sure where one drew the line between yacht and cruise ship…but, well, it floated and was going to be responsible for their trip down East River. They'd edge around the tip of lower Manhattan and sail between Ellis and Liberty Islands before getting the tourist's view of Lady Liberty and making their way back. It was safe to say she was excited for the outing. She'd lived in Manhattan her whole life and couldn't remember a time since her elementary days that she'd purposefully set out to see the Statue of Liberty—and at night? Only in pictures.

Kate's eye followed the walkway, which wrapped fully around the main level of the yacht. Further down, toward the stern, she saw Alexis and Ashley wrapped around each other, leaning on the polished railing. On the other end, toward the bow, she could see people milling about, walking easily from various open archways off the main dining room to the wide-open deck that was lit up with white string lights.

Movement above her caught her eye, and she looked to the space above the main dining hall, where there was a smaller, but still quite large, open-air bridge deck. Honestly, she was hoping to spot Castle before he spotted her, but it was Lanie, half-waving and half-beckoning her up, or to hurry up. Kate smiled and waved back to her friend who looked to have a fruity little number already in hand.

Kate turned back to answer Madison's question, but was distracted his voice. Even leaning to the side to peer surreptitiously around Maddie, she couldn't see him past the others lined up along the ramp. She didn't know how many people were in front of them, but she could hear Castle greeting each guest. Tuned in as she was to him and him alone, she didn't even hear Maddie's next comment.

"Laura. Exquisite this evening. Glad you could make it."

"Gina. You're looking great. JP. How're you doing?"

"Dean-a-rino! My man!"

"Chuck. Welcome aboard. I think the Captain and Connelly were waiting on you to start up a poker game. Check the lounge."

"And your better half. Mrs. Markaway. Looking lovely this evening, I must say."

"Ah, Tami. You look beautiful. How're the horses? Keeping you busy? Ah. I told you…no gifts, but it this is your new book, I'll take it!"

"Paula. You look wonderful. Amanda. You are positively glowing. Who knew preggers could look so good, huh?"

"Madison. You're gorgeous as ever."

Kate had been staring at their feet, just listening to him charm everyone. She hadn't realized they'd moved, but hearing Castle say Maddie's name startled her head up. Immediately, she found Castle's brilliant blue eyes.

"Thank you, Rick," Madison replied. "Sorry, I'm getting your girl here late. She wanted to get here early, help out, but I had a mini shoe crisis. Becks came through with a pair of killer heels, though." She kicked a heel up for effect.

"Well, she's certainly the one for that," Rick said, looking down only because they were Kate's shoes and he had an ongoing mental inventory. He took Madison's left hand and guided her down the final step onto the yacht. He let go of her as quick as was polite and turned back for Kate.

"Ka-ate." Castle breathed out her name, like he was relieved to finally be saying it. He reached for her hand, but instead of letting it go when she stepped down, he gestured to the man across from him. The man she had seen while waiting on the ramp.

"Captain Kershaw, I'd like you to meet New York's finest. Detective Kate Beckett." Kate shook hands with the man, amused when he brought her hand to his lips. It wasn't his greeting so much as that she now found herself with her arms spread across the entryway, a man holding each hand. Castle had stepped a little closer, so it wasn't as awkward as it could have been, but when she'd tugged to pull her hand free, he only tightened his hold.

She made the requisite small talk with the older man and tried to move away, but Castle lightly tugged her back toward him. He leaned in close. "Find me a drink, will ya?" His warm breath feathered over her ear. "Have a feeling I'm going to need it tonight."

Kate smiled and squeezed his hand. He could get his own drink, she knew. She'd seen multiple servers walking around with hors d'oeuvres and champagne. But it meant he'd be joining her soon—not that he needed an excuse. He probably saw her more than anyone else here—except for Alexis and Martha, and still she was first on his list of people to seek out. She didn't mind one bit.

He let her walk off this time, but couldn't help but watch as her dress swished at the back of her legs. He held on, his heart rate staggering at every flex of her calf muscles.

He felt like a damn fool. He'd complimented every woman on board tonight. He'd had to dig deep a few times—one woman's perfume threatened to send him overboard. Another obviously had her Castle claws out—he'd be steering clear of her. Or maybe sic her on one of Weldon's donors. Another had pointed out her recent nose job, and really what does one say to that? Then, when the one he was waiting on—the one more stunning than all the others combined…when _she_ shows up, he can barely choke out her name? _Smooth move, Castle._

Kate stepped into the main dining room. Immediately, she spotted the dance floor, quite empty for the moment, except for a few small clusters of people standing around talking. Kiddy-corner from where she stood, just off the edge of the dance floor stood a baby grand piano. She nodded to Eddie, realizing Castle must have talked him in to playing tonight. A long, low sofa ran the length of the wall to her left. Beyond that, a mix of tables, some high, some low, some larger than others were scattered around the room. She headed to the bar, just on the other side of the spiral staircase. She'd get their drinks and then go find Lanie.

She recognized the bartender right away. Castle must have staffed the party with the crew from the Old Haunt. Well—not the servers. She didn't recognize them—and there were too many of them to have come from the Old Haunt.

"Hey, Brian. Get a new gig?"

"Detective!" Brian said with a smile. "Looking mighty fine, tonight."

"Thanks, Bri," Kate said, smiling back. "Got any Jameson back there?"

"For the boss man?"

Kate nodded.

"Always. And for you?"

"Surprise me?"

"My pleasure."

Kate leaned back on the bar and looked around while he worked. She smiled at the poker table. Half of Castle's Gotham City crew with Connelly, a woman she didn't recognize…and was that Tami Hoag? And _shit!_ Alex Conrad. _What is he doing here?_

"Rick had me hunt down a new cherry liqueur for you," Brian said from behind her. She turned as he was uncapping an old looking, green bottle. He held it out to her, and she leaned in to smell it. _Poor guy. _She really wasn't trying to tease him with the view.

"Best one yet, I think," he continued. Based on smell alone, she'd have to agree. "So, I've been working on a new drink for you. Really show off its flavor."

Brian held out a lime-garnished highball to her, heavy on the cherries, still stemmed like she preferred. "I call it Cupid's Delight. A little variation on a Cupid's Cocktail."

Kate skipped the cherries—definitely saving those for Castle—and took a sip. "Mmm. This one's a keeper. Fresh, not too sweet." She paused, eyes widening.

"A little heat?"

"Mmm. Yeah."

"That's Rick's touch. Like it?"

"It's really good."

"Well, if you like it, it gets added to the books. Rick wants to call it the 'Beckett Meets Heat," but I told him you'd shoot him."

"Good call. Cupid's Delight. Have you seen my friend, Madison?"

"Hottie in the red dress, red heels?"

Kate nodded.

"Upstairs."

"Thanks," Kate said, grabbing their drinks from the bar and turning for the spiral staircase. She knew Lanie was still waiting for her.

"You could give me her number, you know?"

"I know," Kate called over her shoulder, laughing. She turned back, stopping short before she knocked over the woman in front of her.

"Ah, Detective Beckett," Gina said, touching her arm lightly. "I was just coming to see you. It's been a while."

Kate groaned internally. She did _not _want to make small talk with Castle's ex-wife. With Meredith, she'd had Alexis and Mother's Day to be concerned over, but what was she supposed to say to Gina? _Did the woman never wear anything but pink? _Kate wondered, taking in Gina's flawless figure. Blonde hair framing her face—shorter than it had been the last time they saw one another. White skirt, bright pink top. Matching heels.

"It's Kate, Gina. Please. How are you?"

"Doing well. Been busy, you know? Getting _Heat Rises_ ready for press."

Kate nodded.

"Actually, I was hoping to introduce you to some of Black Pawn, if you have time. Give a face to some of the names you might hear from Richard? I know they all want to meet you."

"Oh, uh, sure." Truthfully, outside of Gina and Paula, Castle didn't refer to anyone from Black Pawn by name very often, but she followed Gina across the dance floor to the other side of the room, answering each of Gina's polite questions along the way.

Gina pulled up next to a tall man whose arm immediately snaked around her waist. Gina smiled affectionately at him, before turning to the rest of the large group.

"Everyone. I have a surprise for you…" She gestured to Kate. "Detective Kate Beckett." Gina smiled broadly and genuinely.

A man stepped forward, looking to shake her hand, but as she held both Rick's drink and her own, she simply tilted them in his direction. Undeterred, he leaned forward, hands on either side of her waist and kissed her cheek. _Personal space, buddy! _Yeah, she didn't like him.

"Ah, Nikki Heat. I've wanted to get my hands on you. I've got another author—I think your insight would be invaluable to."

He's stepped back a bit, but he hadn't let go. Kate turned out of his grasp, giving him a murderous look.

"It's Detective Beckett—"

"And she's not interested, Ed. She's got a _real_ job. Not to mention her hands full with Richard—and she's done an admirable job keeping him on task. When has that ever happened?"

_Dammit! She's nice._

"Creeper, here, is Edward Sulks, another of Black Pawn's publishing agents. He knows how to separate fact from fiction, so I don't know what the hell he's thinking." She finished with a glare in Edward's direction.

"Death wish, if Richard…" Gina nodded in agreement with the woman to Kate's right. Ed sneered at the two women and stalked off. Kate relaxed a bit.

"Gretchen Young," Gina introduced. "Your chief editor. Well, Rick's."

"We're blurring the lines between fact and fiction, finally getting to meet you." Gretchen said. "But it's a pleasure."

Gina continued with introductions, and Kate enjoyed talking with them, even if it was a bit uncomfortable at first. She couldn't stop herself from looking over her shoulder though, wondering where Rick was. She spotted him once from across the room, and made eye contact. They had a silent conversation about when he was going to come get his drink. She saw him excuse himself, and then he was headed her way, but he was stopped while crossing the dance floor. In a moment, he was dancing and apologizing to her from across the room, each of them still talking to other people.

It wasn't long before Kate herself was interrupted, but this time it was Alexis.

"Hi Kate," Alexis said, sliding under her arm to hug her side.

Kate left her arm around Alexis shoulders.

"Hey, Sweetie. Having fun?"

"Yeah, just came down from upstairs. Lanie's looking for you." She nodded toward the group. "I see you've met everyone from Black Pawn and Hyperion. Hi guys! Gina. It's been a while."

"Alexis! We never see you anymore!" Gretchen said.

"Yeah, Dad doesn't have to drag me along with him like he used to."

"Well, you're welcome to tag along anytime, Alexis. We always love seeing you there."

"Thanks, Gina. Oh! I see Dad. Please excuse me. Gotta steal his iPhone for upstairs. Mine funked out."

Alexis gave Kate another squeeze. "When you get a minute, I want to introduce you to a friend." Then she leaned in closer, just for Kate. "And be forewarned, Ashley's mom's lurking about, hoping to find you."

"Thanks for the warning."

"She's a good kid," Gina said.

"The best," Kate agreed, before the man across from her launched in to another series of questions about how involved Rick actually gets in their casework. He seemed surprised to learn that Rick wasn't exaggerating. She told them a few stories, before she was interrupted again. This time by Martha—who actually walked through the circle of people standing there to get to Kate.

"Kate, Dear," Martha said, her hands squeezing Kate's upper arms. She could hear Martha's necklaces and bracelets jangling as she greeted Kate with a kiss to each cheek. Martha stood back, admiring Kate.

Expecting the night air to be a bit cool and preferring not to have to keep track of a shawl, Kate had chosen a long-sleeved dress. The smooth jersey-like dress draped over her curves, clinging in all the best places, before hanging loose past her hips. It was so dark a midnight purple, that it seemed black. It veed low between her breasts, but not wide. It was short—it definitely didn't meet the 'must extend past fingertips' rule they'd imposed in high school, but it was not so short that she wouldn't wear it in front of her colleagues. _Obviously._ She'd paired it with the perfect pumps: straps of metallic silver and black. Her hair was in loose curls, the sides pulled back at the nape of her neck and held in place with the antique-looking hair comb Castle had given her for her last birthday.

"Absolutely stunning."

Kate laughed a little, feeling decidedly singled-out. "Thank you, Martha," Kate said, thinking that what was really stunning was how the woman managed to pull off a sequined gold top and a near neon-green skirt without calling to mind Vegas showgirls.

Martha hooked her right arm through Kate's left. Before Kate could protest—_she had plans for those cherries!_, Martha had pulled Kate's near-empty glass from her hand and set it on a passing server's tray.

"Gina. Mark. Gretchen." Martha nodded her hellos to everyone and then, "I hope you don't mind if I pull our gal here away."

"Not at all," Gina said. "It was a pleasure to see you again, Kate. I hope we'll catch up again soon."

Kate shook hands with everyone and allowed Martha to lead her out onto the deck. It was much darker out now. She hadn't realized how much time had passed.

Martha stopped beside a woman with thick, dark, shoulder length hair, who smiled broadly at the pair.

"Kate, I'd like you to meet a very dear friend of mine, Ali Wolterman. Alice, this is Detective Kate Beckett. Richard's…the woman Richard's been working with."

"Oh, Detective Beckett. It's a pleasure to finally meet you! I was so jealous when Joe told me he'd met Rick's inspiration for Nikki Heat. I love those books. I gave him hell when he killed off Derek Storm, but your character? That Nikki? Beat's Derek any day."

"Well, I don't know about that," Kate said.

"So, do you know anything about this new book?" Ali asked. "Rick's being awfully close-lipped."

"Sorry, Ms. Wolterman. I'm anxiously awaiting the manuscript as well. He won't even let me peek at it until final edits are done."

"Shame. And it's Mrs. Torre—I mean, if you're going to insist on calling me 'Mrs.' Just 'Ali', though, among friends, kay?"

_Mrs. Torre? Joe? As in Joe Torre? _

"Ya—you're Joe Torre's wife?" Kate ground out the incredulous question. _And you've talked about ME?_

"Well, now, see? _That's_ why I go by Wolterman most of the time. I mean, I'm his wife, yes. But not _just_ his wife."

"Oh, no, I—I'm sorry." Kate mumbled sheepishly. _God, didn't she hate being treated this way as well? As Richard Castle's muse? Nikki Heat's alter ego?_ "I didn't mean…I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Honey. I'm just teasing you. Trying to break the ice. Joe said you were…a fan."

"A mumbling buffoon of a fan. And he was so casual, so _normal_. I mean, I'd never met someone so _famous._"

"Well, Rick," Ali answered, smiling.

"What? Yeah. No comparison."

"Don't let him hear you say that, Dear," Martha laughed.

"What? Oh, he knows, Martha."

"It's funny. To me, Joe's just Joe. I can see Rick's the same for you. But we all get star-struck sometimes. My Joe? He's not a big reader. Big joker, thought. After he met you, he came home teasing me with a 'Guess who I met today?'—because he knows how big a fan I am of yours. Of Rick's. Of Nikki and Rook. Or 'Rookie,' as Joe affectionately calls my obsession. To me, it's just fascinating."

"We feel the same way about baseball—my dad and me."

"You know…" Ali paused and cocked her head, like she was about to share am amazing bit of gossip. "Both Joe's father and brother were NYPD officers. Rocco, his brother, would have loved these Nikki Heat books."

"Really?" Kate asked, impressed. "I had no idea. I'll bet he would have recognized a lot of what Castle puts in. He has an eye for detail and he really keeps it true to the scene. Except the paperwork. There's always more paperwork than is truly depicted."

"I've wondered. Everything seems so real as I'm reading…more so than in the Storm novels, and you know, I just have to think that comes from following you around."

"Well, I like to think it's not a complete waste of time."

"And is he helpful, like Rook is to Nikki, or just a pain in the ass?"

"Both. But if you tell him I said—"

Ali Wolterman _Torre_ tuned to Martha. "She really is good for him, isn't she?"

Martha simply hummed. Kate flushed, and took a sip of Castle's Jameson and Ginger. _Where was he anyway?_ It didn't take her long to spot him on the dance floor with a different woman. Time to make her escape, find Lanie. Maddie. The boys.

Upstairs, Kate first spotted Jenny, chin on Ryan's shoulder as they swayed together on the outskirts of the dance floor. Jenny gave her a little wave and nodded to her right. Kate followed her direction and found Maddie leaned up against the side of the bridge deck talking to Lanie and Esposito.

"Girl, where've you been?"

Kate smiled. "Talking with Joe Torre's _wife_." Lanie wouldn't get it. Instead, she looked at the man sitting beside Lanie on the low, blue chaise lounge. "Did you know his brother and his father used to be NYPD?"

"Dude. No way."

"No joke. She's downstairs. So's Mo Vaughn."

"_¡Vete a la verga!_" Lanie backhanded his chest. "Is there anyone he doesn't know?"

Kate shrugged, and lifted Castle's drink to her lips, but before she could enjoy a sip, a large hand appeared in front of her face and plucked the glass from her hand.

"I believe that's mine, Detective."

"What am I? Your barmaid?"

Castle gave her a look that let her know exactly what he was thinking before he threw his head back, closed his eyes on the stars and gave in to the image she'd planted in his head. Ice clinked his lips, and he drew the glass back looking at it. He realized he hadn't tasted anything but cherries. _Damn woman._ She shouldn't say shit like that to him. She did it on purpose. He knew she did. Cherry lip balm and bare toes. Naked legs.

"Need another," Castle said with a dazed look. He left them all there without even bothering to see if anyone else was up for a refill—which was quite unlike him.

Kate turned from watching everyone crowded on the dance floor to watching the shoreline in the distance. The bridge deck was loud and crowded and she just wasn't really in the mood for it tonight. Not when she'd spent so much time downstairs where Eddie was playing the piano and people were dancing—really dancing.

It was pretty up on the bridge deck. There was no doubt about that, but downstairs, it was beautiful. It reminded her of something out of a Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire movie. It wasn't like that exactly, but the walls and furnishings were rich. Everyone was dressed up. The lighting was perfect. And people were floating across the dance floor in pairs—literally cheek to cheek. The music wasn't bad up there—straight from Castle's iPod, in fact—but the dancing, the overall atmosphere? You could find that every night of the week in New York. Downstairs, it was something special.

She jerked a little feeling something vibrate against her thigh. She was leaned against the wall, and everyone around her was engaged in conversation, so she lifted her dress a little and tugged her cell phone from under the band of her thigh holster. It wasn't made for cell phones, but she'd had her grandmother modify it for her.

**Wondered where it was. **

She looked around for him. She knew he had to be at the bar. That's where his phone was.

**Got your gun, too?**

She smiled at him and shook her head, but he couldn't tell if she was shaking her head at him or if she meant 'no.' He was betting on the former—but probably only because he liked the idea of her gun strapped to her thigh.

Kate felt arms wrap around her then, and she was lifted from the floor. Castle laughed at the shocked look on Kate's face. Of course, he'd seen Ajax coming.

Kate's head whipped around. If it hadn't been for the amusement on Castle's face, she'd have immediately resorted to bodily harm. But, oddly enough, Castle thinking it was funny settled her in a way. When she realized it was Ajax, she settled on a sharp elbow and yelling at him.

"Ajax!" All her friends were looking their way now. Wondering who this kid was that was getting away with this.

Ajax laughed.

"What the hell were you thinking? You _know _I can take you down." She'd done it easily while they were camping.

"Aww. Take it easy, Kate. I couldn't resist. Besides—"

"Besides nothing. What are you doing here?" Kate asked, smoothing a hand over her hair. She was taking in the crisp white shirt and black vest. The same attire Brian wore downstairs.

"New bartender. Rick hired me for the summer before I head off to Purdue. Figured I could learn a few tricks and he works it around my ball schedule."

"Yeah. That's great. He mentioned. But shouldn't you be, uh…tending bar?"

"Nah—Rick wanted a go at it."

Kate looked to the bar again. Rick was juggling limes. _Of course. He juggles. _And he was drawing a crowd.

"Who's your boy toy?" Madison asked. Kate was pretty sure she'd asked that earlier, too. It hadn't come from Lanie. She'd ignored it the first time, but this time...well, she might as well introduce him.

"This is Ajax, Ashley's friend."

"Who's Ashley?" Maddie asked, not keeping up.

"Alexis' boyfriend," Jenny answered.

"We're going to be betting on him in the Big Ten next season," Kate continued, mostly to Ryan and Esposito. "Purdue."

Ajax shied a little, but was obviously proud. "I only hope I get some floor time," he answered while Espo and Ryan congratulated and asked about other schools he'd looked at, the recruiting process, etc.

When the conversation turned to Ryan's ineptitude when it came to filling in the brackets, Ajax turned his attention back to Kate.

"So, gonna dance with me?"

"What? No."

"Ah, come on. I'm trying to impress a girl."

"What girl?" Kate asked skeptically. Except for Alexis, she was pretty sure every woman here had a good ten years on him.

"It won't matter. They'll all be impressed if you dance with me."

"Ooh, he's smooth," Lanie said. "Taking lessons from Castle, did you say?"

"Can't hurt," Jenny said. She nodded to the bar where Castle was still charming the crowd. They saw a cocktail shaker sail into the air.

"Hey!" Kevin cried, in mock offence over his fiancée's comment. But, it was obvious she was just trying to get a rise out of her man.

Kate rolled her eyes. The boys were so easy.

"Hey. If she won't dance with you, I will." Maddie said, uncrossing her long legs.

"Down, Cougar." Lanie laughed half joking, but in an all too commanding voice. She still wasn't happy with Madison and the way she'd insisted Josh was hotter. Or that she had a picture of Kate's boyfriend on her phone. Or that she always seemed to take an interest in anyone who was interested in Kate.

Kate cocked her head to the side and looked up Ajax. He was definitely taller than Castle. Maybe he'd grown even taller over the last couple of weeks. Ajax shimmied his shoulders back and forth, inviting her to dance again.

"Ah, what the hell," she said. She wanted to dance. She liked the song that was playing. It was Ajax. Castle wouldn't be holding that against her. "One."

Ajax grinned. "Good for me."

One dance with Ajax, just as she promised, and Kate excused herself for the main deck. She couldn't resist the atmosphere of the lower deck. Apparently the boys had felt the need to move about as well because she now found them talking to Karpowski and several other officers from the precinct. She joined them, wondering what had happened to the girls?

Nelson—she honestly didn't know his first name; Rick probably knew his whole life story—was in the middle of telling an off-color joke when suddenly he stalled and sputtered. His pale, ruddy, freckled face, his ears—his whole round head, made visible under short-cropped hair, reddened considerably. Some of the group stiffened and stood straighter. Others shifted uncomfortably. Kate turned to look over her left shoulder at the new presence she'd felt arrive.

"Your honor," Esposito said, having risen from where he leaned against the window ledge.

"Detective Esposito," Mayor Weldon answered. Esposito looked a little stunned that the mayor knew his name.

"Sir. Your honor, Sir."

"Relax," he chuckled. "Please. Carry on with your joke, Detective."

"It's Officer, Sir. Nelson. Tommy. Uh, I mean, Officer Tommy Nelson." It was the mayor's turn to look a little surprised, but he hid it better.

"Well, Tommy, I'm Bob. How 'bout I tell you my own joke?"

Kate smirked. _Like anyone is going to tell him no. _

"So…a lawyer, a politician and a priest walk into a bar…"

Whatever it was, Kate was sure she'd heard it. From Rick. They'd been barraged with 'a guy walks into a bar' jokes after he bought The Old Haunt. She looked for him in the direction she'd last seen him, and spotted him again. This time dancing with his daughter. All his attention focused on her, and she could see the big grin on Alexis' face, laughing at something her father said. Kate smiled sweetly at the picture they made. She wished she'd thought to grab her camera, but then she saw Martha circling the edge of the dance floor with the same video camera Castle had pulled out for Alexis' prom.

"So? How about it, Detective Beckett?"

"Hmm? I'm sorry, your honor."

"Talked your Captain into a poker game. The boys are up for it. And Ms. Karpowski."

"Detective." Kate corrected him. She let some people get away with it, but the mayor should get it right.

"Be great to play with those trained to spot our tells. See if we can pick up a few tricks of the trade."

"Oh, umm. No thanks. Not for me. Not tonight."

"Beckett. You can't tell the mayor 'no.'" Ryan hissed at her. She gave him that 'and just who do you think you are telling me what to do?' look she'd perfected early in life.

"Of course, she can. None of us are here in an official capacity. I know_ I'm_ not."

Kate sent Ryan an 'I told you so' smirk.

"Not that I don't appreciate the offer. Another time?" she asked politely.

"I'll hold you to it. Get Rick to set it up. Maybe we can do it at my place next time?"

Kate nodded, wary of the invitation and the perception it created among her colleagues. It wasn't just that his statement implied coupledom—it was also that he was the mayor and he was inviting her to his home. Some already felt she had 'favored' status. And maybe she did. But it only made her want to work harder to prove that it wasn't because of Richard Castle or Nikki Heat.

"'Til then, how about a dance, Detective?"

Kate hesitated again, knowing she wouldn't have if he'd asked her outside of the watchful eye of her colleagues.

"Come on," Weldon prodded, holding out his hand. "You can't turn me down," he teased. "I'm the mayor."

Kate smiled and put her hand in his, thankful for his easy manner and the 'in' he'd given her. "In that case, I'd be honored, your honor."

* * *

><p><strong>Again apologies that this took so long. I haven't responded to reviews either. I hope to get to that, but make no promises for the last chapter. Here's the rambling explanation…<strong>

I DO feel an obligation toward you all and I'm not ignoring this story, but since many of you have wondered where the update was, I feel I owe you a bit of an explanation…plus, I have a feeling at least someone out there might know what this is like or feel like they're the only ones. It's not like my co-worker whose daughter was born with a disease that means she has developmental issues and likely won't live to her teen years, if she makes it that far. So, I have perspective. We're all blessed in unique ways.

Some of you know my little guy's underweight. So, early January, he sprained his hip and knee. We don't know how, but it was pretty painful for him, especially moving from one position to another. Docs go, "hmm, that's somewhat unusual for a 4 year old…and he's underweight, right? Wonder if they're related?"

Of course, Momma's been concerned for a while that there's something more serious going on, but we haven't hit that 6-month reevaluation mark. Log his BMs (bowel movements). Nothing conclusive. Then they go, "Oh, wait. You said he frequently has dark circles under his eyes? Let's check his iron levels." Maybe a little low, but not serious. A few nutrition tests. A food allergy test. Nada. "Oh, and he gets bloody noses frequently? Let's run a blood test. Test for anemia."

Red flags for Momma. Too much Lurlene McDaniel as a kid. Doc says, "You said he's not fatigued, right?" Momma says, "Correct, but like I said, he seems to bruise easily. Were you not paying attention?" Red flags are jumping and flapping in the wind. Doc says, "Why don't we just go ahead…check his platelets at the same time? Just rule out the possibility?" Yeah, Momma saw that one coming. Fretted about it to Daddy and Grandpa over and over. But, it would be better to know than to worry and wonder, right?

You know? There are some things that can set a parent off faster than others. Nutrition test? _Safe._ Kids teasing one another? _To be expected. _Bumps, scrapes and bruises? _Eh, you're fine. _Child molester two houses down? _Panic. _Hole in the heart (VSD)? _Panic._ Cancer screening? _Panic. _

Anyway…after a couple blood draws, a dye test and another scan (they didn't call it an MRI) but it was like that…no discrepancy between white and red blood cells. And no tumors. Thank God! (Over and Over and Over—Always.) Still don't know what, if anything, is up with him—he's a happy, energetic kid—so maybe it's just how he is? Once that seed is planted that there's something wrong, though, it's like…can't explain. But, you want answers now and you can't have them. And then when you do get them and they point to nothing, you're stuck wondering 'what if they're wrong?' It's hard to know what to trust. Tests? Intuition? That he seems fine? (Except for the laundry list of things that don't seem fine?) I don't know. He sees a naturopath soon.


	52. Ch 52

_**Reposted due to FFnet errors with alerts...fingers crossed.**_

**Sit back and settle in. This is a ridiculously long chapter (11K+ words). But one of my favorites thus far. Hope you like it, too!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 52 – Duet<p>

One dance with Mayor Weldon and he deposited Kate at the bar where she fully intended to start on her next drink, but instead found Paula, flirting with Brian and Amanda, Rick's event planner.

"Ah, Detective Beckett," Paula greeted upon noticing her. Kate accepted her drink from Brian.

"Please, Paula. You've done so much for me lately; I'd really appreciate it if you'd call me Kate."

"I saw your article, though," Amanda commented. "I hope you don't mind me saying that it was very nice."

"It was better than it could have been, for sure. And Paula's been a big help. And Castle." Kate paused and looked around. "This is nice, too."

The tall blonde waved her hand around like it was no big deal, as they walked to an empty table. "This is nothing. Rick knew what he wanted for a few things and then left me to my own devices."

_Not like planning the Jamboree,_ Kate thought. _She probably hated how involved we were in that._

"It's easier, too," a new voice joined them, "when you're not dealing with budget constraints." Stephanie laughed, while Karamagi leaned in to greet each of the ladies.

"There's that, too," Paula answered. "Good to see you, Steph. Magi."

"You, too!" they answered.

"And thanks for signing the checks," Amanda laughed, tipping her glass to Stephanie.

"And you! Look at you!" Steph squealed at Amanda. "Is that a baby bump?"

"It is. And I guess I don't have to ask about you, huh?"

Kate laughed while the two compared baby bumps, though Steph's was more like an all-around baby bulge. Amanda was only a four months along, but she was all front and center. She'd be small all through her pregnancy, at best looking liking she'd stuck a basketball under her shirt. _Poor Steph._ She was pregnant all over. That much was obvious as she leaned on her husband for help sitting down. Kate wondered what she was going to do when it was time to get up?

She watched as Karamagi stepped around his wife's chair. He knelt down beside her, looking up at her while she kept talking to everyone, giving them an update on the kids and their planned move back to Manhattan. Steph glanced at Magi, quickly, and gave him a short nod. At that, Karamagi took each of her feet in hand and slipped the ballet-style shoes from her feet. He lined them up neatly under the tablecloth and let Steph scoot her feet back under.

Karamagi made sure the tablecloth covered her feet before rising and sitting beside his wife. It was all so inconspicuous, she wasn't sure anyone had noticed. He could have been tying his shoe for all anyone knew. But she could tell by the relief on Steph's face that his gesture was very much appreciated—both that Magi cared to do this for her and to do it without calling attention to her red, swollen feet.

After sitting for a bit with the ladies, Karamagi rose and returned with a bottled water and a glass of ice. While he was pouring, Stephanie turned to Kate.

"You can dance, right?"

"Yeah," Kate said, cocking her head. "How'd—"

"Saw you earlier. It shows."

"Karamagi is itching to dance. I can tell. Loves to. Made me take lessons before we got married."

Kate knew instinctively that Karamagi, with his formal upbringing, would be an excellent, classically-trained dancer. And Eddie was playing something that would be quite right for a slow waltz or bolero.

"Dating," Karamagi said. "I arranged for dance lessons believing it would be perceived as romantic and not insulting. Plus, she had to take pity on me and commit a couple of hours to me each week. Always with a romantic dinner." Karamagi shook his head with a bent smile. "And the lady complains."

"He made me perform in front of our wedding guests."

"Dance. Not perform."

Steph raised her eyebrows at him, but Kate could tell she simply liked teasing him.

"At any rate," Steph continued, "I'm sure my husband would appreciate having a solid dance partner. Would you mind?"

Kate laughed. "You just want me to get him out of your hair don't you? I see how it is."

Karamagi held out his hand for Kate. "Come, Katherine. Best not to upset my wife. She's in a delicate state."

"I suppose," she sighed. "Anything to keep her happy, I guess." She winked at Stephanie.

"Anything at all," he agreed. Then, he turned to his wife, saying "Only for you, Dear," before dropping a kiss to her lips and escorting Kate to the dance floor.

"Do you know bolero?" he asked, stopping them just inside the couples on the edge of the dance floor.

Kate nodded. Karamagi smiled.

"Do you mind if they watch?"

Kate grinned. She loved to dance. And she loved the innocent and formal way he asked. Had the question come from Castle, her mind would be gutter diving before she responded with something saucy.

_I was right_, Kate thought, as she felt Karamagi's place his hand high in the middle of her back. She draped her left arm over his right. He took her right hand in his and paused a little, listening and waiting to step into her at just the right moment. He went so far as to give her a little bow.

They moved together smoothly, just turning in roughly the same spot at first. For the most part, backs stayed straight and arms didn't move. This dance was all about the legs and hips. Transitioning through the steps smoothly. With another partner, it could have been romantic and sensual. Thighs pressed together. Sweeping motions. Moving back when pressed upon and forward when asked, letting him take the lead.

But this wasn't like that. Well, he was leading. But it was far from sensual. It was fun, but not intimate. Their bodies weren't pressed together. There was no heat. Just the moves, as if they were in dance class together. Slowly, people moved aside and began to watch while they began to cover more of the floor. They had a good four-to-five foot diameter that was theirs now.

She knew Karamagi would be a great dancer, and he was. But he was so very technical. A little stiff. He didn't have as much fun with it as Castle did. Castle would make stuff up to keep her on her toes. He would add an element of silly that charmed her without her really knowing why. With Karamagi, she knew just what to expect.

When the song ended, they stopped in each other's arms, smiled and nodded their appreciation to one another. They turned and jokingly curtsied to the crowd that had gathered around clapping and cat-calling.

They looked up to Eddie on the piano. He was looking at them, conferring with Martha who looked like she was about to get into trouble…or get them into trouble. Eddie adjusted the microphone on the piano so that he could speak into it while Martha grabbed another wireless mic.

"Ladies and Gentlemen…give it up for Detective Kate Beckett and Mr. Karamagi Iacocca!" He paused for more applause while Kate and Karamagi blushed a bit.

"How about something a little faster?" Martha asked the crowd. Then she turned to Eddie. "Think they can handle it?"

"Oh, I don't know. We might be too hot for them."

Someone yelled, "Bring it on!"

Kate looked over at Karamagi and winked. They both shrugged at the same time. Neither was about to back down from the challenge.

"We're waiting!" Another voice yelled just as Eddie picked up the first notes of an up-tempo version of _Sway_.

At this, the two dancers turned to one another, and started to move together right away, finding the syncopation, even before Martha picked up with the first familiar lines of the song. It was a good choice, everyone had heard some version of it—especially since Michael Bublé and the Pussycat Dolls had made it popular again in recent years.

"Rumba or cha cha?" Magi asked. They were similar until it mattered.

"You pick," she answered, though she was secretly hoping for cha cha. She liked the energy of the three step.

The piano picked up, a little louder. Martha sang. "_When marimba rhythms start to play._ _Dance with me." _Eddie's voice joined Martha's._ "Make me sway." _Magi turned Kate out toward their co-conspirators and they all shared a smile; Martha waving to them to 'take it away.' And when Karamagi turned her back in to him, they were cha cha-ing. The pace faster and hands held between them lower than before. No embrace. And it was fun.

And funny. There was more space between them this dance, so Kate had the opportunity to observe her dance partner. For such a stout man, Karamagi was surprising quick on his feet. It was unexpected. Still, she had to hold back a laugh at times because, as much fun as she was having, it was a little amusing to watch the man shake his hips.

Magi was having a good time, though, and seemed to know that his boxy hip rolls were cringe-worthy. She thought for sure he was exaggerating it a bit for the crowd. It was there. That was the silly she enjoyed so much in others, but had a hard time allowing to surface within herself. It made Rick's influence in Magi's life more apparent. She wondered if that was what Rick meant when he said he'd taught Karamagi how to loosen up.

At first, it was just them and another, older couple. Quite a few people had gathered around. Even Stephanie had re-inserted herself into her shoes and found her way to the sidelines to watch her husband. They were moving quickly, dancing around one another, with Magi frequently turning her out to one side or another for them to dance side by side—allowing them to watch everyone else as more and more people joined them on the dance floor.

She heard Martha give a little "woot woo" followed by Eddie's "oh, my" and turned to find Esposito and Lanie doing a sultry salsa number—Esposito had from somewhere procured a black fedora-style hat and Lanie was none too shy about sidling up close to her man. Then she pushed him away, playing it up. Esposito feigned an insulted disinterest, until he saw Ryan sneaking in on his girl. While those two pretended to duke it out, Lanie grabbed Jenny and the two of them strutted across the floor. Kate was laughing and dancing and shaking her head all at the same time. _When did they come up with this? _Thankful her friends knew how to cut loose and have fun, but…_how did she get stuck with those two clowns?_

Kate was still smiling until she caught sight of Rick. Dancing. With Gina. It was nothing special. _Just dancing_, she told herself, but still seeing it—seeing them—caused her to falter. Kate and Karamagi were mid-rotation and she was meant to step into his left side as they turned, instead, she committed the worst mistake one could make while dancing: she stepped on her partner's toes. Hard. Thankfully, it was the ball of her foot on his, not her heel.

Karamagi, sweetheart that he was, immediately pulled her up and slowed them. But he was perceptive, too, and, when they completed their turn, he saw what she'd seen and knew what caused her misstep. He edged her away from the center of the floor. Kate thought they'd probably stop dancing. He'd be the type to claim he needed a break, just to give her an out.

But they didn't stop dancing. The just stopped cha cha-ing. Kate tried not to, but she couldn't keep her view from trailing to Castle. It was too easy, all she had to do was look up, past Magi's shoulder.

"It's not…" Karamagi hesitated, unsure about continuing. "He's not himself with her. Never has been."

Kate wasn't sure how to respond. She shrugged, waved her wrist at his shoulder. Tried to pull off that it didn't matter, but she failed. She could tell by the way Karamagi was looking at her.

"It's just…she seems so…_nice_." _Why didn't they work? If she's nice, was it him?_

"Yeah. _Now_," Magi scoffed, surprising Kate with the animosity in his tone. She distinctly recalled Rick describing him as "wouldn't hurt a fly. Never says anything bad about anyone"—and, up to now, in her experiences with him, it had been true.

Karamagi wasn't comfortable with the admission, though, and immediately looked apologetic. Kate couldn't let it go, however.

"He said you refused to be his best man," she led. She couldn't seem to get out of interrogation mode where Castle was concerned. First last night, grilling Rick about his childhood. Now this.

Karamagi considered her for a moment before responding. She seemed to need to know. Looked downright scared of the answer. _Yeah, she needs to know._

"It wasn't right," he answered. "Never any passion. It was like you and me now, only less…friendly."

"Then why—"

"She came from a big family. Frequently traveled back to Texas to see them. Richard thought it was important to her."

Kate shifted her head and raised her eyebrow in question.

"It was an obligation. As soon as she started seeing more success here in Manhattan, she quit going to see them. Even started using Rick and Alexis as an excuse as to why she couldn't go—but that did not mean she was here, spending time with them."

Kate nodded.

"To me, it always felt like she was using Ricky as a launching pad for her career. To be honest, last summer was the best I'd seen of her with him, Alexis. Even Martha."

Kate cringed at the thought of them together. Especially at the thought of them happy together. She felt her stomach drop and her mouth water with that pre-vomit sensation.

"I think she was finally wanting what Ricky has wanted all along," Karamagi continued, not wanting to leave Kate in that state. He did have a point. "But he wasn't there. He wasn't in it."

Kate lifted her questioning eyes to meet Karamagi's. He nodded his reassurance to her.

"I will say 'yes' next time," he said, pulling her closer and into a little hug as their song ended. "Next time it will be right."

Kate would have said thank you or agreed with him, but her throat constricted around the words. Instead, she silently did both.

* * *

><p>Kate had become quite a popular dance partner after her exhibition dances with Karamagi. She was returning from a well-deserved break and a trip to the ladies' room to freshen up when she spotted Castle talking to some of the people from his publishing house—the handsy creeper included. She debated avoiding the group because of him, but Castle was there, so she set her course. She didn't make it far, however, before a hand shot out to stop her.<p>

She turned around to find an umbrella-adorned drink offered to her by a relatively tall, familiar looking man with dark swathe of hair.

"Long Island Iced Tea, Detective?"

"Oh, uh, Alex." _Was he waiting for her?_ "How are you?"

"Very well, thanks." He shook the drink he held.

"No, thanks," Kate answered. "I'm not much for rum." _Also, not very original. Kinda like your novel. _

_The next Richard Castle, my ass, _she thought. They ought to let readers decide before the marketing talks. She'd read _Dead Serious_ after she met him, and the courtesy copy of _Seriously Dead_ he'd sent after it came out. _What kind of titles were those anyway? _She only read the second one to see if his time with them had made any impact at all. Unfortunately, Rysposito didn't make for a good muse.

But she was biased, and she knew it. And she didn't like seeing some no-name writer trumped up over _her_ writer.

"Ah, well. Worth a shot, I guess." Alex turned and set both glasses on the nearest table, a few steps away.

"How about a dance instead? You could teach me a thing or two."

_Damn right I could._ _How to face-plant._

Kate shook her head. _Why was she giving him a silent tongue-lashing? _He hadn't done anything wrong. Nothing at all. There was absolutely no excuse for her lack of good will toward him.

But she still didn't want to dance with him.

She glanced around for an escape plan. Checked her wrist. No watch._ Shit._

"Actually, I've-uh…promised Martha I'd help with the cake. I should—I should probably go. Do that."

"Yeah, yeah. No. That's fine. Maybe later?"

Kate hummed her non-committal, and walked off toward the kitchen. In the opposite direction she'd been headed. A quick glance over her shoulder to be sure Alex wasn't watching and she slipped out the side door. She headed right, toward the back of the boat and stopped half-way down. She leaned her arms on the teak railing and took in the beautiful sight before her. The Statue of Liberty lit up in all her glory.

"I don't see any cake."

Kate turned her head to find a smirking Castle right beside her, hip propped on the railing. She hadn't even noticed his approach and wasn't sure how long he had been there. Couldn't have been long.

_God, he looks good. _His hair was all sheened and combed into place. His dark green shirt brought out the warm undertones in his skin and intensified his blue of his eyes. Kate was surprised he hadn't lost the tie yet.

"Heard that, did ya?"

Castle didn't answer; he merely shrugged, but he was studying her.

Not wanting to answer his unspoken question, Kate turned back to Lady Liberty. Rick leaned down onto his elbows next to her and bumped her shoulder with his. He watched her a moment longer, then looked out at the impressive statue with her.

He wanted to ask her. Wanted her to acknowledge it, but instead he kept silent.

Finally, Kate couldn't take it any longer.

"Why's he here, Castle?"

Castle shrugged. "He's my protégé. He needs to be. There are connections he needs to make. People he needs to schmooze."

Kate scrunched her face at his explanation. Something sounded off. She turned to question him, simultaneously pulling off narrowed eyes and a quirked eyebrow.

Castle lolled his head a bit to the side and she could see a hint of amusement crinkled in his eyes. He wasn't telling her the full truth—but he wanted to.

"What?" she demanded, not sure what he was laughing at.

He leaned in conspiratorially. "Paula's sweet on him."

"God, Castle!" Kate shoved his shoulder. "You're such a girl!" Kate immediately cringed thinking she probably shouldn't have said that after his "everyone already thinks I'm a girl" reaction to Sherlock, but Castle didn't seem to notice.

"How do you even know this? Pajama party?"

"Not hard. In case you hadn't noticed _Detective_, she kind of talks a lot."

"So, she actually told you this?"

"Well, no, but—"

"Then—there's no way. They're like night and day."

"Yeah, but—"

"You might want to stick to your day job. Even my day job. Clearly, matchmaking is not your forte."

"You have a night job? Moonlighting at the Pussycat Club?"

"Nah," Kate teased, "Escort service. Pays more, more intimate and we don't let just any 'ol jackhole with thirty bucks in."

"So, you've got standards?"

"Of course. Focus, Castle."

"I am."

He was staring.

"Paula and Alex?"

"Yeah."

"I don't think he's interested. And _she_ was flirting with Brian."

"She always flirts with Brian. With everyone. But, you just wait. She comes off as all crass and Jersey, but really? She's got old-timey values—the kind Alex was raised with. She just doesn't show it."

"Old-timey values? Paula?"

"No joke, Beckett."

Kate could tell he was serious, and she wasn't really surprised. She was learning that he liked the dichotomy in people. The complexities, the paradox. He seemed, even, to collect people who had more going on, more depth than one might initially expect.

"Besides, I'm not really playing matchmaker. I'm just setting the stage, providing the opportunity. Who knows what Alex wants? We aren't exactly chummy."

"But you've got Paula all figured out, huh?"

"Wasn't hard. A little alcohol and I know her whole life story."

"No more mystery, huh?"

Castle shook his head. "Not for a long time."

"And then there's me." She meant for it to sound more playful than it did. It came off sounding sulky.

"And then there's you." Rick agreed. He paused a moment. "You, who, as I recall, promised to help with cake."

"You know I promised no such thing."

Castle's eyes widened and he feigned shock. "So, you lied to poor Mr. Conrad?" he asked, cupping his hands over his mouth.

"You _are_ your mother's son." Kate said smiling at his antics.

"No denying it," Castle laughed. "But, seriously, come on. I could use some help with the cake."

Rick pulled her forward, off the rail. They walked back into the main lounge, past the still-busy poker table and through the eight-foot tall swinging doors just to the side of the bar. Straight ahead, there was another metal door with large windows that showed a surprisingly large industrial kitchen—all well-lit and bright white, except for the stainless steel counters, cooktops and hanging racks. But, that wasn't their destination.

Instead, Rick guided her to the right where there was an alcove with a U-shaped metal counter. Kate immediately saw an array of cake boxes with the Cups-N-Cakes logo.

"You got these from Sheryl's bakery?"

"Yeah. You know. Good pastries and cakes, just the coffee's—"

"Not so good. Yeah, I remember."

"They couldn't make it."

"Dad and Sheryl?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. I didn't know you'd invited them."

"I did, but they were going to a show with her sister. You meet Margo yet?"

Kate shook her head warily. She knew Castle understood and wasn't pushing her. Just asking.

"Well, my dear. You are gonna love her. She's very easy going." He suspected Kate would have an easier time with Margo than Sheryl—not because Sheryl was dating her dad, but because Margo just had that outgoing, bubbly, but non-invasive personality that was impossible not to like.

Rick lifted the lid on one of the boxes. "And she bakes," he added, holding up a chocolate cupcake.

"Those look delicious."

"They are. Hazelnut chocolate mocha cake with chocolate frosting."

"Already snuck one, huh?"

"Hey! They insisted! Besides, I couldn't let them all have one and_ not_ join them."

"So, what do you need help with? It's cupcakes. Not much work."

"Yeah. These are the easy part. Slap 'em on a plate and we'll call it good. But these aren't what I need help with."

Rick pushed Kate toward the back of the alcove where the other boxes were. "These are the ones I need help with."

"Geez. If this is a tiered cake and we have to stack 'em count me out. I did that once and it didn't end well."

"Nope." Rick grinned. "Even better."

Rick nudged her arm, encouraging her to lift the lid.

She did so—enough to peek inside. Then pushed it down again quickly and turned to Castle with look of delight.

"You! Tell me you did _not _get cheesecake!"

Castle schooled his features and lowered his voice to his most serious, manly tone. "I did not get cheesecake."

Kate laughed and lifted the lid again, smiling. "But you did."

"Well, we _are_ New Yorkers."

"I'm sensing a theme. Yacht called the "Lexington," sailing around Lady Liberty and New York-style cheesecake."

"Which I'm assured is the best in New York."

"We'll see."

"How about we find out now?"

"You think?"

"I don't see the harm. It's just one piece. Who's gonna know? Besides…it's my cake, my party."

"And you'll cry if you want to?"

"Ha," Castle answered.

But he was already turned, looking for the plates—which were easy enough to spot—and utensils. The plates were stacked on open shelves above the counter, but, it being a boat, they were secured down. Kate was trying to figure out how to undo the clasps and locking mechanisms, while Rick looked for forks and a knife. They were assuming that utensils were in the locked drawers. All he was able to come up with were a couple of butter knives, aluminum foil, scissors, a spoon rest and a small cutting board. Kate hadn't fared any better unlocking the plates.

Not wanting to bother the folks in the kitchen, Castle gave up looking.

"All right," he said, taking a deep breath. "Stand back. I've got this." He made some sort of karate-air-chopping motion that had Kate leaning back out of the way along with a "hi-ya." He ended in a one-legged crouched stance with both knives pointed menacingly at the cheesecake.

"Oh, look," Kate said in a flat monotone. "You've subjugated an inert mass of gelatinous bliss. Glad it's not an armed suspect or anything."

"Gelatinous bliss, eh? Note to self: prefers cheesecake."

"Will you just cut it already?"

"The cheese?"

"Seriously?"

"You said it."

"I thought I was talking to a 40-year-old man, not a five year old."

Castle used one knife to cut a couple of slices and used both to lift one out. Once he had the slice balanced on one knife and leaned onto the other, he held it out for Kate. She reached for the delicate piece of confectionary, fully intending to take the whole thing, but it broke off in her hand. Only Castle's quick reflexes kept the heavier, crusted-edge piece from flopping on the floor.

"Ah, well. We share," he said, holding up the piece. "Cheers."

Kate smiled and air-clinked her piece with his. Her teeth had barely sank into her half and she was moaning around the creamy texture. "Mmm. 'Tso good."

Rick thought she was probably right, but he'd paused watching her. He loved how she appreciated good food and wasn't shy about eating. But…_God! That moan._ She didn't know the things she did to him. She couldn't. He watched her still, but suddenly it occurred to him that he could be partaking in and enjoying the same thing she had in her mouth. They could be feeling the same thing. Tasting the same thing. He shoved the piece toward his mouth and bit off more than he probably should have.

Kate had forgotten for a moment that Castle was watching her. She had been savoring the cheesecake. _It might just be the best in the city._ Then again, it had been a while since she'd had cheesecake.

She became aware, though, of his eyes on her again. Still. Her eyes popped open, immediately finding him. He was in such close proximity, facing her as the both leaned on the counters in the tight space. She watched his eyes make the slow, difficult path from her mouth to her eyes.

"You know what this needs?" she asked. "Berries."

It sparked movement from Castle. Movement in her direction as he murmured, mouth still full. He leaned into her, reached past her for the bowls she hadn't noticed. She looked over her shoulder to watch him knock the lid off a large bowl, only to see that it was full of berries. Strawberries. Blueberries. Raspberries.

She turned back to watch him. His jawline as he concentrated on the berries. His throat as he swallowed. She was fully aware of him pressed against her. A foot between hers. His knee higher than hers because of the way she was leaned back against the counter. Her hip sheltered between the warmth of his and the coolness of the counter. Both firm. Her right shoulder tucked into his chest. Also firm. She swallowed this time, having nothing to swallow.

He came back to her, plopping a plump raspberry and two blue berries onto the slice she held aloft so he wouldn't crush it between them. He dropped a strawberry onto his own, knowing her tiny sliver wouldn't have held its weight.

Kate breathed out a "Thanks."

"Wait," Castle instructed, he nudged her into the corner and leaned past her again—this time, more fully on her front, a move she was sure he didn't have to make. "Needs the fruit purée."

Castle pulled himself upright, but only stepped back enough to give himself room to upend the clear bottle and drizzle the purée over Kate's cheesecake…and fingers. He squeezed too hard and the sauce dribbled all down her hand and between her fingers. Kate popped the cake into her mouth, hoping to prevent more of a mess.

"Thanks, Castle," she said wryly, talking around her mouthful of cake. She turned her right hand to lick the sauce from her wrist bone all the way up the side of her ring finger.

"I could help with that, you know."

"Yeah?" she asked in a low teasing voice. "Think I got it." She made him watch as she licked between her knuckles. Then placed her whole ring finger in her mouth and wrapped her lips around it, slowly pulling it out and releasing it with a small "pop."

"You missed some," Castle said, a little awed.

"Just there." Her middle finger was the culprit, and she was left with a small purplish smudge, low on her cheek. He brushed his left thumb just under the spot.

"Yeah?" Kate asked on an exhale. She wasn't sure the whole short word made it out as she watched him lean toward her. He was going to do it. _Finally._ He was lowering his head to her cheek, and she was going to meet him half way. She was pushing herself off the counter, up to her full height. So close.

And then there was the unmistakable thwack of one of the swinging doors hitting the metal counter. Hard enough that she felt the reverberation. Castle bounced back like an uncontrolled jackhammer, head whipping around. _Jumpy, that one._ Kate thought again that he really was going to get whiplash. His strawberry hit the floor, but he still held onto what was left of his cheesecake.

Behind him, Kate saw the shiny gold shirt and red hair and knew even before she spoke that it was Martha. And friends, it appeared.

"Mo-_ther_!" Castle groaned, like she'd just walked in on him fresh from the shower. Not like it hadn't happened before. There were downsides to living with the woman. She knew no boundaries sometimes…especially when searching for his wallet to pay the delivery man.

"Oh, Dears. I'm so—"

"Don't worry about it, Martha. We were just, uh, trying to get the cake ready."

"Ah, yes," Martha said, glancing around. It was obvious they'd gotten nothing done. "Well, you two shouldn't be worrying about this. It's a party—go mingle! Have fun! I've found these two lovely lasses here," she said, gesturing to two young wait staffers, "who've promised they can handle it."

As soon as Martha looked away, still talking, Kate grabbed ahold of Castle's wrist. He was still holding the piece of cheesecake out and gawping at his mother. She popped the piece—his fingers and all into her mouth. Kate was aware of one of the servers' mouths dropping as she watched, but she didn't care. They didn't know her. _Them._ Castle's head whipped back around to her. To stare at his hand. His fingers in her mouth. She licked his finger as she pulled his hand away. It all happened so fast. He didn't have time to process it.

"Hey, that was mine!"

"Snooze, you lose, Old Man."

But, he'd called attention to it, and she was sure Martha saw that last bit. And she was quite eager to escape. She grabbed Castle's sleeve and pulled him toward the trio and the door. But Castle was dragging his feet, stuttering about how they could handle it. He wanted to push them all out of there. Except Kate. Kate could stay. Right where she was. He liked where she was. Well, not where she was now. Looking at him expectantly.

"Good?" she was asking.

He was staring at her. Thinking. Planning. Scheming. _What the hell was I thinking having a party on a boat? There is no privacy! No blank spaces. No quiet crevices. No…no…maybe the Captain's quarters? Did this yacht even have that? I should offer her a tour. Find out._

"Yeah." He said automatically, not thinking. _She was good. She was fantastic. A fantastic tease._

Kate dropped the napkin she'd grabbed from the server's tray to wipe any puree remnants from her cheek into the trash, and scooted out the door with Castle right behind her.

He had his hand at the small of her back. She could feel him nudging her right, toward the door they'd come in, and she'd have maybe gone, but she looked up and there were too many people. Nosy co-workers looking her way. She veered left instead, toward the high tables where the boys, Lanie and Jenny were. _Who knew where Maddie had disappeared to? Maybe she was off distracting Ajax. _

"'Bout time you two showed up," Esposito teased.

"Don't think I didn't see you two slink off," Lanie said.

"We didn't 'slink' anywhere, Lanie," Kate said. "I was just helping Castle."

"I can see you were helping Castle." Lanie smirked.

Kate looked at her confused.

"Still got a little cream there, Kate," Lanie said, tapping her own upper lip.

Kate glared at Lanie, flushed and wiped her index finger across her upper lip all at the same time. Then she slugged Castle's upper arm, sharp with her knuckles right in the spot where she knew it would hit the most nerves.

"Ow!" Castle exclaimed, grabbing his arm. "What'd_ I_ do?"

Kate stalked off without answering, well-aware that her so called friends were laughing at her expense. Hopefully Castle's, too.

"What'd I _do_?" Castle asked again, this time of their friends. "How come you piss her off and she hits me?"

"What's the matter, Castle? Can't handle being hit on by a girl?" Ryan asked.

"There's being hit on and then there's being hit. By Beckett. Ma-_an_, I'm gonna have a bruise." He whined that last part, still rubbing his arm.

They laughed at him.

"Next time, I hope it's you. All of you."

"Well, here, Castle," Lanie said holding a card out to him. "Maybe this will make it up to you."

"Lanie," Castle said, reaching for the card. "You didn't have to get me anything. Besides—you already gave me the shirt and the seat cushion."

"Well, this one's just from me. Your real gift. Trust me. You'll like it."

Castle nodded and slid his finger under the flap. The card had a simple design with just "Happy Birthday!" written over the top of a large cake. He opened it up to find a photo of a younger, bikini-clad Kate Beckett facing him. Despite all the skin, he was struck by her face and her hair. She looked so much younger, but she had determined eyes and a tightness to her posture. Her hair was styled in a feminine, but no-nonsense cut—even shorter than it had been when he first met her. It was just as dark as it had been when they met, maybe even darker, but the flipped-out tips were a yellow blonde. A style he remembered being popular not too long ago. It wasn't a Kate he knew. More like she was still finding herself and didn't know who she was.

Wherever they were, the place was crowded, but Kate stood out. Of course she would. She could have been wearing a burlap sack and she'd have stood out. But it wasn't a burlap sack. She was standing there in a black string bikini and black heels, posing for the picture with a hand on her hip and a look on her face that gave every indication that she'd been told to do just that. But he could see a hint of a smile in her eyes and slightly upturned lips. He flipped the photo over to find Lanie's handwriting: _March 2005_.

He flipped it back over to stare at Kate some more. _Miami,_ he thought. _Must be Miami._

"Kate." He said absentmindedly. "You're giving me Kate?"

"Well, she's not exactly mine to give, but inasmuch as I can, yeah. I guess."

"Lanie," Castle said, pocketing the picture in his left front pocket, "I do believe you'd like to dance with me."

Lanie gave him a look.

"Now."

She glanced at Javier, who only shrugged at her. He didn't know what the hell she'd done, so he wasn't offering to help.

"Well…since you asked so nicely."

"Thank you," Rick said, taking her hand and guiding her onto the floor. He didn't say another word until he had her in front of him and her full attention.

"Lanie…what the hell's going on?"

"Wha—"

"And where the hell's Josh? Why isn't he here with her? I mean, he just got back. What could be more important than seeing Beckett? But he hasn't. You know how I know he hasn't?"

Lanie shook her head. She could guess.

"'Cause she's been with me. At my house. Thursday night. Last night. And today she was at the precinct and then with Madison. Tomorrow? With me again. So, I ask again, where's Josh?"

"There's no Josh."

Castle drew back, in surprise. He had hoped. He had thought maybe. He'd wondered.

"He came back early."

Castle's shoulders sagged.

"Wednesday. When Alexis and I were there."

Castle nodded. Alexis hadn't said anything.

"She gave him his stuff then."

Castle's eyes went to Lanie's.

"But she broke up with him before he left. Motorcycle boy was just too dumb to know it."

Castle silently prodded her to continue.

"It was awful. The night we all went to The Old Haunt and you didn't make it? When you got sick? Made quite a scene. Not knock-down, drag-out or anything. But he got really pissy when he found out you owned the bar. Kept going on about how you weren't a cop and how you were gonna get her killed. Accused her of cheating with you and whoring herself out for—I don't know? Publicity?. We knocked him down a peg or two, but when Kate left to check on you, he said to us that it was just a hitch and they'd be fine. That is one seriously stupid man."

Castle felt anger rising in his chest hearing that Kate had to go through all that. In front of everyone. _In front of everyone. _

"You all knew? All this time and no one's said anything?"

"It wasn't our place, you know? And it's not like we were supposed to know. It just kind of worked out that way. We thought you were going to be there, too, remember? Kate was just so mad at him about the key thing, you know? And hitting you. And, it's kind of my fault, really, 'cause she was going to do it when they were going out for drinks—wanted to be someplace public, but I didn't want her alone with him if he was going to…possibly get violent. I know my girl can take care of herself, but—"

Lanie was getting flustered. She'd all but stopped moving in their little circle.

"It's okay, Lanie. You did the right thing."

"No, I just—I talked her into going to The Old Haunt with us instead. Told her to use your office. That you wouldn't mind. It'd be more private than some bar, and we'd all be there, Javi, Kevin, if something happened."

"It was good thinking. I'm just sorry I put her in that position."

"It was a long time coming. Trust me. She knew it, too. You were just the catalyst. Better that way, I think. Besides, she ended up at your place, right?"

"Yeah. I guess, but she never said anything. I knew they'd fought and then she missed out on seeing him off 'cause she was with me at the hospital."

"Yeah. Would have been better if she could have ended it for sure then. Nothing she tried while he was off in Mozambique—"

"Zimbabwe."

"Whatever. Nothing worked."

"So, she tried, huh? But couldn't reach him? No email? No phone?"

"Nope."

Castle stayed silent for a while, lost in thought. He was still dancing them around in pointless high school-esque circles in the silence between two songs.

"So why are you telling me all this?"

"She asked me to."

"What? Why?"

"Apparently, anything related to relationships—well, yours and hers, and especially _yours_ together is a volatile topic for you two."

"That's—" _Ridiculous. He'd love to talk about them. A real them._

"She says you have a habit of running—literally running and hiding—when she tries to bring it up."

"That's—I'd never—"

"When you were camping, Rick."

Realization dawned on him. _God, I'm such an ass. We could have…If I hadn't…Ugg!_

"One time, Lanie. _One time!_"

"Not one time. She's been burned trying to tell you these things before. I mean, I don't agree with her, but I can see where she's coming from."

"Before?"

"Before."

"You're gonna have to give me something else to go on here."

"Demming," Lanie sighed. _Kate owed her. Totally, owed her. And Writer Boy was lucky she liked him._

"Demming?"

"She broke up with him. Was gonna tell you, say 'yes' to the Hamptons, then you showed up with Gina."

"Nooo." Castle shook his head in denial, but his eyes were wide with the truth.

"Yes. And what's worse? Everybody knew. Everyone talking behind her back. Guessing you two'd slept together and that the 'Ice Queen' wasn't good enough for you. Or that you'd finally given up, found a new muse. People can be cruel—even if they're not saying stuff directly to your face. People calling her. Reporters."

"I didn't—I didn't know."

"'Course you didn't. And I'm not blamin' you. We were mad at you for a while. 'Cause she's our girl, you know? And both of you. So damn blind. But, we realize it wasn't just you. Or just her. But while you were off with Gina, Kate spiraled. Worst I've seen. Wouldn't talk to anyone. Hid herself away."

"Her dad mentioned, but…What do I do, Lanie? I need to fix this."

"I don't know. All I know is, you make her happy, so you two damn well better figure it out."

"I want to."

"Well, knowing my girl like I do, she's not going to make the first move. She'll think this is it or something. Plus, even though she pretends not to, she cares what others think. She won't risk having people think she's left yet another guy for you. Won't want the people she knows thinking that she just can't stay away, that she's succumbed to your…charm" Lanie waved the hand on his shoulder like she didn't want to admit he was charming. "More than that, she won't want the people she doesn't know thinking she's some kind of tramp."

"No. No. I know. You're probably right."

"Yeah, I am."

"Thanks, Lanie."

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't forget, Writer Boy. Three strikes and you're out. Don't screw this up."

"Not to worry, Dr. Parrish," Castle said smiling, "Third time's a charm."

But his eyes were a little hazy from the Beckett information overload and from recalling all of his jackass-actions that led to missed opportunities. _All this _time, he thought. He'd been blaming her for not seeing it. Not taking the chance. Being unwilling to dive into what she claimed she wanted. Of closing herself off in no-where relationships.

_But it wasn't true. _She'd jumped. She'd risked it. She'd been more willing to give them a go when—let's face it—she had to feel like there was more to lose. He knew she wasn't one to open up. To risk getting hurt. And she had. She had gotten hurt. He'd hurt her. Intentionally or not. And embarrassed her. So if the going was slow now, he could at least understand it.

The song stopped. Lanie dropped her arm from Castle's shoulder, wondering if he was okay and if there wasn't maybe a better way to do that. She hadn't really been planning on following through with Kate's request—but then the photo—and she kind of saw it as an opportunity to give Castle hope, make sure he knew and get back at Kate for being so stupid about all this. But, she forgot about how perceptive Castle could be and his need for details.

Now, he didn't look so happy at his own party, and his mother was over by the piano, microphone in hand, and someone was rolling out a chef's cart with cake and lit candles. The crowd parted, left room for everyone to see Castle standing there, alone, in the center of the dance floor.

Martha led the crowd through a loud rendition of "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow." Kate watched Martha walk over to him before the song ended. She didn't know what was wrong with him, but Castle had a dazed look. _Couldn't be all the candles_, she thought teasingly. Martha nudged him playfully with her hip and brought him back the present, a genuine smile on his face.

When the song ended, Martha gave him a tight hug. The microphone picked up the "Happy Birthday, Kiddo" even though, from the scratchy sound of Martha's voice, it probably wasn't meant for everyone. Kate smiled as Rick kissed his mother's cheek and then bent and blew out the candles with the same exaggerated puffs he'd used on Thursday.

"Would you like to say a few words, Richard?" Martha asked into the microphone, not really leaving him a choice of 'no."

Rick took the microphone. "Thanks, everyone for coming. I'm glad you could be here to celebrate with me tonight. Are you all having a good time?"

Rick waited for the crowd response.

"Excellent!" he said, watching their reaction. "Then I say the only thing that can make this even better is—cake! Let's eat, shall we?"

His guests hooted. Martha took the microphone back.

"While these fine folks are passing out dessert," she said gesturing to a few servers with cake and cupcake-laden trays, "we have one more surprise for Richard—for all of you, really, if you could indulge us just a moment more."

Rick turned questioningly to his mother, but she was already moving back toward the piano. A server offered him a piece of cake which Castle waved off. The server pushed the cart away, but Castle—so intent as he was on what this surprise could possibly be—barely noticed.

Martha held out her left arm, "Ladies and Gentlemen, my beautiful and talented granddaughter, Miss Alexis Castle."

Castle looked to his right, and saw his daughter approaching. She had her violin case in hand. She stopped to open the case and set her music on a stand.

"For his birthday, Alexis has composed an original, beautiful piece for her father. And she'd like to play it for you."

Eddie was helping Alexis adjust the microphone on the stand in front of her. When she was set, she took a deep breath.

"This is, uh, the first time I've written my own piece, so I'm a little nervous." Alexis gave a little nervous laugh to prove her statement. "But," she said, glancing at Kate, "I had help."

Kate, who had picked a spot off to the side, where she could see both Alexis and Castle, gave her a little nod and smile of encouragement. Castle didn't take his eyes off his daughter.

Alexis turned to look directly at her father. "It's called 'Grow with Me.' I hope you like it."

Alexis stepped back and raised the bow in her right hand and drew it across the strings to produce the first of the low and steady notes of her composition. This part she was better at, less worried about, and she relaxed into it, letting her eyes appear to drift shut. She played and the room was quiet, attention aptly placed on the young woman surpassing them in poise and talent.

Kate had seen Alexis play, so she watched Castle, arms folded across his chest like he was holding something in. She could see the emotions play across and soften his face. His jaw tightened, then gave way to something else. She wondered what he was recalling? She saw him sneak a knuckle under his eye. She watched the way his body jerked with the later, punchier notes. And the final ease of his shoulders like he'd released the breath he was holding for her when the song came to an end.

She turned back to Alexis to see the girl's reaction. Everyone was clapping and hooting. Kate let out a loud, happy whistle, but she slowed her clapping when she saw Alexis' already pale features ghost even more. She wasn't smiling. She looked more…despondent than she'd ever seen the girl look.

Quickly, Kate turned her head to Rick. He hadn't moved from his stance—feet shoulder width apart, arms folded across his chest. He had such a serious look on his face. _Come on, Castle. Don't be an asshole. Get it together!_

The clapping cacophony died down, but Kate was already moving forward. She stopped when she heard Castle.

"Play it," he demanded. "Play it again."

He was loud enough to be heard over what noise was still left. His voice was low and gravelly. If she didn't know him better, Kate would have found the overall effect intimidating. In another setting, sexy as hell. But not with his daughter there, shifting her weight, looking absolutely devastated.

Castle seemed to recover himself. "Please. Play it again, Alexis. It's lovely. I want to hear it again."

Alexis gave him a small smile. "I made you a CD," she said quietly.

"Now, though? Live?"

"Well, it's…" Alexis looked hesitant. "It's really better as a duet." She tucked her head sheepishly.

Kate froze.

"Duet?"

"Yeah. It's a…duet." She looked up at Kate beseechingly and found her still standing in roughly the same spot.

Kate shook her head. _No. No. No. No. No._ People were watching her now. She could tell. She had a sixth sense for it. Especially for Castle's eyes on her.

"Please?" the girl asked hopefully, gripping the bow in her hand.

Kate risked a glance at Castle. He knew now. There was no denying it. His look had changed from awe at his daughter to deeply interested and truly surprised at this turn of events. _At least there's that_, Kate thought. She liked surprising him.

Kate rolled her head back, wishing she had more willpower. She moved forward toward Alexis. She felt compelled to somehow get them out of this. She didn't know the song. _I don't know it!_

"Alexis," she started slowly, "I don't know it by heart. Not like you do. I can't play it with you."

"Oh, don't worry, Kate," Alexis said turning to her violin case. "I brought it with me." She held up the sheets of music Kate had created.

"You—you _planned_ this?" Kate asked in a whispered, shocked shriek.

"Well, no. I just…I knew if I choked you'd be here to back me up. So, yeah, I brought it."

"I just…didn't want him to know. We agreed. And now everyone…the precinct…"

"Please, Kate? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to spit it out."

"No—"

"Oh—kay. I'm—"

"No. _No._ I mean. Okay. You didn't mean it, right?"

"Right."

"So, let's just get this over with. Maybe I can swim home."

"Ka-_ate_."

"Kidding," Kate said as she sat down at the piano. "_Maybe,_" she added under her breath.

Alexis spoke into the microphone, "Back by request. Because, who can deny my father, right?"

_Or his daughter?_ Kate thought shaking her head. _How did I end up here, again?_

"I mean…he's still got grounding power for a few months. So, one more time," she said, "with my friend, Kate Beckett, accompanying on piano."

Kate lifted her right hand and gave it a little shake toward the crowd, but she didn't lift her eyes from the music. It's not like she hadn't performed in front of a fair number of audiences. But those pieces had been practiced to perfection and performed when she expected to play. In front of people who knew she played. The only people here who knew she played piano were Alexis, Lanie, Martha, Madison and Montgomery. The boys knew she played guitar. Castle might. She didn't know.

Kate waited for Alexis to get through her opening notes. Then she joined in. The keyed music accented and propped up Alexis' piece at every turn. Softer where Alexis' played softly, higher when Alexis played higher, but still lower. Faster in spots when Alexis played faster. The piece Kate played was never meant to outshine Alexis' piece. It wasn't even meant as an equal complement to Alexis' composition. It was to showcase Alexis' talent, the story she was telling about growing up with Castle. And she'd done it so well. Kate was nothing but proud of her.

This time, when the song ended. Kate looked at Rick. He was clapping hard as he approached his daughter. He crushed her into a hug. He smiled down at Kate still sitting on the piano bench and mouthed "Thank you." Kate nodded and snuck behind them, intending to get out of the limelight.

Castle turned around to face the crowd, keeping is left arm over Alexis' shoulders. "Isn't she wonderful, everyone!" he asked, his proud papa shining through every pore. Alexis reached out and snagged her wrist before she could get too far and dragged Kate against her other side.

"Kate, too," Alexis said, hugging her side.

"Kate, too," the papa bear echoed. He was looking forward, but he'd stretched his arm out to include her. She could feel him rubbing his fingers up and down her shoulder blade. She felt heat rise in her cheeks and she was thankful that if anyone noticed, she could chalk it up to embarrassment.

"Now, can we eat cake?" Kate answered.

* * *

><p>Just like that, a server appeared before them, offering them their choice of cupcake of cheesecake. All three picked cheesecake.<p>

"Not going to steal mine again, are you Beckett?" Castle teased as they walked over to join their friends. Alexis had gone the opposite direction in search of Ashley.

"You never know, Castle." She sat down at the table, amid their friends all talking at once. Castle sat away from her, all their friends between them, on the arm of the sofa where Ryan and Jenny were.

"I didn't know you played," Ryan said.

"You play piano?" Esposito and Jenny asked in sync.

"That was great, Girl."

"Becks! I didn't know you were playing again."

"I didn't either," Kate said, looking up at Maddie, who was sitting across from her. "Just sorta happened."

Castle laughed. "You make it sound like some sort of illicit affair."

"Well," Kate said, sucking the cheesecake remnants off her fork and winking at him, "It was kind of fun hiding it from you."

"Little Castle's pretty talented," Esposito said clapping Castle on the shoulder.

"Yeah," Kate and Castle sighed at the same time.

"How'd that happen?" Jenny teased.

"She gets it from Martha," Kate answered.

"Hey!"

"What? Just being honest."

"I paid for those lessons."

"Suppose you practiced for her, too?"

"No, but I suffered through all the practice sessions." He shivered. "She wasn't always that good."

"Like you'd change it."

"No. No. You're right." He dropped it. For a moment.

"So, how long _has_ this been going on?"

"Don't know. She started it before Mother's Day. I found out when—that day we all went shopping together. For her prom dress."

"Oh. So, a while, huh?"

"Yeah."

"I can't believe I didn't know!"

Kate shrugged. She wasn't sure if he meant about the song or her helping or both. She picked at her cheesecake, let her thoughts wander. They went to her grandmothers. Both of them. Elaine Beckett—helped to her seat by her much younger friend, Rosemary Petersik. Sitting in the front row at her last recital before her Grandma Beckett passed away. Next to them, on either side, her grandfathers. Her Papa. Even her Grandpa Beckett had put on a nice shirt to come. There hadn't been enough room in the front pew for her parents. They'd been two rows back. But her grandmothers insisted on being there early.

"You know," she heard Maddie say. "I think you're taking turning forty better than I took turning thirty. What's your secret?"

Castle paused and looked up at Maddie thoughtfully. His eyes flowed to Kate. She hadn't budged, but he could tell she was listening intently for his answer.

"Let's just say…I think I'm getting closer to solving my favorite mysteries in life."

* * *

><p>The party was over. It was late. Early, rather. The yacht was docked, but Kate couldn't bring herself to leave yet. Everyone had pretty much already cleared out. There may have been a few stragglers, but it was mostly wait staff left. Maddie had wanted her to go with her, maybe share a cab again, but Lanie had jumped in saying they were going the same way—she and Javi could drop Maddie. Save the cab fare. Kate smiled gratefully at her friend.<p>

The night had cooled slightly. It wasn't cold, but as Kate leaned on the teak railing toward the ship's prow, the open deck behind her, she was thankful she'd worn sleeves. She was facing the water, looking across to lights on the opposite shore. _The starboard_, Kate thought. She remembered reading it once for one of her classic literature classes and having to look it up because she didn't know what it meant. She thought she knew "port," but found it, too, had a different meaning than the one she knew. Left side of the boat versus right side of the boat.

Kate laughed quietly to herself. At herself. It didn't matter. It had been a good night. She's supported Alexis and got off with not a lot of teasing about it. She'd had fun dancing. She'd danced with a lot of men. More than she thought she would when the night started. Karamagi, of course. Her Captain. Mayor Weldon. Judge Markaway. Patterson. Others she didn't really know. _Old men, married men._ She shook her head again. _A lot of old, married men._

"There she is. The woman of many talents." She felt Castle sidle up next to her. She looked over at him. He was tieless now. Finally lost it about an hour ago.

"Good night?" Castle asked.

"Mm-hmm." She turned back, to stare down at the water.

Rick followed suit. He was glad she was still here, but he wasn't sure what it meant or what move he should make, or if it was too soon to even make a move. If he should say something? He was pretty sure mentioning Josh was a bad, bad idea. And he didn't want to rush her.

"I thought you liked dancing with me, Castle." It had been on her mind. She'd watched him dance with every woman in there tonight. Or close to it. Everyone but her.

She was so quiet, he wouldn't have heard if she hadn't turned to face him.

"I do like dancing with you, Kate. I didn't—didn't want to get the rumor mill running again."

"Oh." Kate's cheeks flushed. She should have known. "Right. Makes sense."

"But we could dance now." Rick turned his body to face her.

"No music." Kate turned with him. His hand found its way to her hip, lightly touching the material there.

"No, but there's the sound of the waves lapping against the side of the boat. The hum of traffic in the distance. The—"

Kate's hand slid up his arm to his shoulder. She stopped him before he got to "the beating of our hearts" or whatever other cheesy line was about to come out of his mouth.

"Talk about meta." Her right hand joined her left behind his neck.

He raised an eyebrow at her, moving them to an upright position and pulling her a little closer.

"Richard Castle channeling Jameson Rook channeling Victoria St. Clair."

"Well, you could always sing for us."

"You want me to sing?"

"Yeah. I know you can." He reached up and grabbed the hand that was playing with his collar. The collar she couldn't seem to take her eyes off. He squeezed her hand, nudged her feet into motion. A slow, slow dance. "Come on. It's my birthday."

"I already gave you your present."

"My _amazing_ present." She felt his palm slide over her hip and spread low at the small of her back. "But I've been a very good boy this year."

"So you think you deserve another present?"

"Very good."

Kate thought about it. She couldn't believe she was seriously considering this. She'd _never _sung for a man before. Too intimate. Karaoke? Yes. Singing with others, for others? Yes. With music. But no one had ever written a book about her. Given her so many words. Called her "extraordinary." Stuck by her side through so much shit. Besides, she kind of had something in mind that was just a little bit perfect for the occasion. The words had crossed her mind a time or two this evening.

"Okay, Castle." She felt him stand taller. His eyes delighted at her words.

"Only if you close your eyes." She didn't want him watching her. She wouldn't be able to do it with him watching her.

"Okay. I promise." Castle closed his eyes.

She waited a moment, half a rotation, to make sure he'd keep them closed.

"_Mmm hmmm,_" she started off with a hum, testing her voice.

"_Maybe we could_

_Hit it off_

_Be a righteous pair of fools_

_Teach this world we'll not be knocked around_

_So let us dance our happy dance_

_Sing songs of_

_Ever after_"

Kate paused, in time to a beat only she could hear. Without realizing it, she'd moved her hand to cup Castle's ear. She brushed her thumb under his left eye, over his cheekbone. She expected him to break his promise. But he didn't. He just leaned into her touch.

"_And maybe when _

_The sun forgets to shine_

_We'll be tired of ourselves_

_But until then, my foolish friend_

_I'll see you in by flying ship_

_And we'll forever sail the sand of time_

_And reap the sky of stars."_

It reminded her of Peter Pan. Of Castle.

When she was silent for a while, Castle slowly opened his eyes.

"I've never heard that before," he said in a low voice. "I'll have to look it up when I get home."

"You won't find it."

"A songwriter, too, eh?"

"Not really, Castle. Started out as a poem. I've just picked at it with the guitar quite a bit."

"It's lovely, Kate." _You're lovely. _"Like I said. A mystery."

"I'm not sure that's flattering, Rick."

"Why not? I love mysteries, and solving them."

"I thought you said 'Mysteries are all the same. Motive. Opportunity. Cover-up. Conscience.'"

"So? Tell me you don't have a reason for everything you do? That you don't have a conscience?"

Kate didn't respond.

"But, you're right, though. You're not like any mystery I've ever seen."

"Neither are you, Rick. Neither are you."

Kate pulled him closer, wrapped her arms around his shoulders and let her head rest against his. They stayed like that, swaying back and forth to a soundless rhythm. She was keeping time to the feel of his warm breath on her shoulder and her neck, trapped there by her hair. He had one hand pressed flat to the middle of her back, slowly pressing in and out with her fingers. The fingers of his other hand were slowly turning circles causing the fabric of her dress to lift a few inches then fall again when he reversed direction.

They stayed like that until they became aware of people clearing tables on the deck.

Kate leaned back. "I—I should go."

"Yeah. Yeah." He caught Kate's fingers, and pulled her forward, port side. "I've got a cab waiting for you, actually."

"You do?" she asked.

Castle didn't answer, just led her to the ramp. Made sure the cab was there waiting. Kate was in front of him, fingers still held in his. She was ready to get home. Maybe take him with. Not to…just to keep him near. It wasn't that she didn't want to be alone. She just wanted to be with him.

Kate felt a tug at her fingers while she walked ahead. She looked down at her left hand, joined with his, just at the fingers. She looked up at him, saw it in his eyes.

"You're not coming?"

"I would, but I promised to stay, wait for the cleaning crew."

Kate nodded. She hadn't imagined saying goodbye here. Hadn't actually planned a goodbye at all. A little flirting. _Okay. A lot of flirting._ Nothing like what she pulled in the alcove behind the bar. But her plans for the night hadn't gone right since Martha stole her cherries. It had all been improv since then.

"Well, Mr. Castle. You throw an excellent party. I very much enjoyed your birthday." She was quite a bit shorter than him, standing on the low end of the ramp.

"Me, too, Kate. Me, too," Castle whispered. She had the most beautiful eyes, looking up at him like that. Quite literally took his breath away.

Kate leaned into him and up on her toes. She grasped the back of his head with one hand and the side of his face with her other. Castle closed his eyes. He felt her thumb press into his lips as she held him close and kissed him. Right on the corner of his lower lip. No hesitation. Unmistakable.

Rick kissed her thumb not really thinking about it. Not even wishing for her lips. He wouldn't change the intimacy of this moment for the world. Kate drew away, pulling his lip with her slightly. She leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "Good night, Castle"—still rubbing her thumb over his lips.

And then she was gone. Walking down the ramp. Steady on her feet when his breath was away. Way away. _That sweet, sweet seductive mystery. _

Looked like Lanie was wrong.

* * *

><p><strong>Can I get a "Finally!"? Anyone?<strong>

***Promo Spoiler Alert* **_And seriously. This show. Secrets come out after the secrets explode convo in an ep about a bomb?_


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